f/ 


t 


LIFE  Am  ADYEITURES 


OP 


A  COUNTRY  MERCHANT. 


OF  HIS  EXPLOITS  AT  HOME,  DURING  HIS  TRAVELS,  AND 
IN  THE  CITIES. 


DESIGNED  TO  AMUSE  AND  INSTRUCT. 


By  J.  B.  JONES, 

AUTHOR    OF    "WILD    \raSTERN    SCENES,"     "ADVENTURES    OF    COLONEL    VANDEEBOMB,"     "l 
MONARCHIST,"  ETC. 


PHILADELPHIA: 
J.    B.    LIPPINCOTT    &    CO 

1857. 


Untered  accordiug  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1864,  by 

J.  B.  JONES, 

the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  United  States  for  the  Eastern 
District  of  Pennf-ylTania. 


TO 


JOHN  GRIGG,  Esq., 

SO  GENERALLY  KNOWN -SO  HIGHLY  ESTEEMED 

BY  THE 

SOUTHERN  AND  WESTERN  MERCHANTS  OP  THE  UNITED  STATES 

i$  Mumt 

IS  RESPECTFULLY  INSCRIBED,  BY  HIS  FRIEND, 

THE  AUTHOR. 


V.321075 


► 


PREFACE 

TO    THE    SECOND    EDITION. 


The  similarity  of  title  might  lead  some  of  the  author's 
friends  to  suppose  that  this  work  is  merely  a  revised 
edition  of  the  "Western  Merchant."  But  such  an  im- 
pression will  be  removed  upon  an  inspection  of  its  con- 
tents. Yet  it  must  be  owned  that  it  was  the  success  of 
that  work,  and  of  the  "Wild  Western  Scenes,"*  which 
emboldened  the  author  to  undertake  the  preparation  of  a 
new  volume, — one  of  greater  magnitude,  based  upon 
broader  foundations,  and  embodying  characters  and  occur- 
rences of  a  later  date.  And  this  he  submits  as  a  substi- 
tute for  the  "Western  Merchant,"  believing  it  will  afford 
a  greater  amount  of  entertainment,  and  quite  as  many 
useful  lessons  of  experience. 

The  Author. 

BUKLINGTON,  NeW  JeRSEY,  \ 

1854.  J 


*  Five  editions  of  the  "  Wild  Western  Scenes"  were  sold  last  year. 
The  large  edition  of  the  "Western  Merchant"  is  entirely  exhausted. 

The  Publishees. 


LIFE  AND  ADVENTURES 


OF  A 


COUNTRY  MERCHANT. 


CHAPTER  I. 


On  the  banks  of  the  *'Mad  Missouri" — Nap  and  Jack  watching  for  a 
boat — A  brief  retrospection — New  goods — Ambitious  longings. 

It  was  upon  the  right  bank  of  that  gigantic  river,  the 
<«Mad  Missouri,"  and  surrounded  on  every  hand  by  wild 
scenery.  Two  young  men  stood  near  the  edge  of  the  water 
gazing  far  dow^n  the  stream,  in  momentary  expectation  of 
seeing  a  steamboat  come  in  view. 

"Jack,  I  think  I  hear  something!"  said  the  shortest, 
but  not  the  least  of  the  young  men. 

"So  do  I,  Nap,"  replied  the  other,  "but  it  is  not  the 
boat.  She  is  not  yet  in  sight ;  and  as  we  can  see  several 
miles  down  the  river,  it  is  not  probable  we  shall  hear  her 
before  we  see  her." 

"But,  Jack,  don't  you  hear  a  puffing  sound?  I  think  it 
must  be  the  boat.  They  say,  on  a  calm,  clear  morning  like 
this,  the  boats  may  be  heard  before  they  come  in  sight." 

"I  hear  the  puffing,  Nap ;  but  I'm  very  certain  it  comes 
from  Mr.  Black's  great  Newfoundland  dog,  lying  yonder 
under  the  wild  gooseberry-bush." 

"I  believe  it  does  !"  responded  Nap,  looking  and  listen- 
ing. "But  the  boat  is  coming,  I'm  sure;  for  now  I  hear 
the  wheels." 


10  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

<'The  wheels  of  Mr.  Black's  wagon,  Nap;  and  yonder 
it  is.  Don't  you  see  the  oxen  winding  down  the  hill  ?  I 
engaged  it  to  haul  up  the  goods ;  but  it  comes  too  soon." 

Nap  turned,  and  perceived  the  wagon  lazily  descending 
the  road  from  the  storehouse  on  the  summit  of  the  hill. 

Nap  Wax  and  Jack  Handy  were  nearly  of  the  same  age, 
and  both  were  young  adventurers  from  Kentucky.  Jack 
was  a  slender  youth  of  fair  complexion,  whose  teeming 
imagination  had  preceded  him  to  Missouri,  and  which  was 
apt  to  picture  scenes  in  a  seemingly  fresher  and  brighter 
world  than  the  one  he  had  hitherto  inhabited ;  and  hence 
he  had  determined  to  abandon  the  old  one. 

Generally  without  patrimony,  and  hence  with  no  means 
of  acquiring  professions,  and  always  too  proud  to  learn  any 
of  the  mechanic  arts,  it  is  surprising  to  contemplate  the 
vast  number  of  youthful  adventurers  from  Kentucky,  Ten- 
nessee, and  Virginia,  who  annually  go  to  the  new  States  in 
quest  of  fortune.  And  it  is  no  less  astonishing  to  behold 
the  large  proportion  of  them  that  succeed  in  achieving 
their  object. 

Jack  Handy  had  been  preceded  several  years  in  his 
emigration  to  Missouri  by  his  brother  Joseph,  who  was 
his  senior.  Joseph  had  risen  from  an  humble  clerkship  to 
become  a  partner  in  a  branch  concern ;  then  he  had 
bought  out  the  interest  of  his  partners,  and  found  himself 
possessed  of  suflScient  capital  to  commence  business  at  a 
new  point  of  his  own  selection.  The  place  pitched  upon 
was  that  where  our  young  Kentuckians  are  introduced  to 
the  reader.  A  town  had  been  laid  off  on  the  hill,  by  com- 
missioners appointed  for  the  purpose,  and  who  bestowed 
upon  it  the  inappropriate  name  of  Tyre. 

Jacl^  Handy  was  now  to  be  his  brother's  clerk,  and  was 
to  receive  a  salary  of  one  hundred  and  twenty  dollars  per 
annum  besides  his  board,  for  which  Mr.  Black,  whose 
house  was  within  a  hundred  and  fifty  yards  of  the  store, 
(and  there  were  no  other  dwellings  in  the  town,)  was  to  be 
paid  fifty  dollars  in  merchandise. 


OF  A   COUNTRY    MEBCHANT.  11 

Now  tliis  was  a  larger  salary  than  other  novices  were 
in  the  habit  of  receiving;  and  the  fact  that  Jack  had 
secured  it,  was  an  indication  that  he  was  not  deficient  in 
business  tact  and  mercantile  genius.  It  was  managed 
thus : — When  he  received  Joseph's  letter,  inquiring  what 
amount  of  money  would  be  requisite  to  fit  him  out  and 
pay  his  travelling  expenses  from  Kentucky  to  Missouri,  it 
immediately  occurred  to  Jack,  who  had  been  writing  in  a 
lawyer's  office  without  pay  for  several  years,  that  what- 
ever sum  he  might  name  would  have  to  be  repaid  to  his 
brother  out  of  his  first  earnings.  For  several  days  he 
studied  the  matter  very  assiduously.  He  did  not  want 
additional  clothing,  and  he  had  been  informed  that  twenty 
dollars  would  be  amply  sufficient  to  take  him  to  Missouri, 
in  a  cheap  way;  and  so  twenty-five  dollars  might  have 
answered  his  purposes  very  well,  had  he  not  been  actuated 
by  the  spirit  of  acquisition.  The  conclusion  he  finally 
arrived  at  was  this ; — that  as  he  had  nothing  but  his  mind 
and  body  to  speculate  upon,  his  debts  would  have  to  be 
paid,  as  well  as  all  necessary  expenses  in  Missouri,  from 
purses  that  had  something  in  them — his  being  empty. 
Hence,  if  he  could  obtain  a  large  advance  from  Joseph, 
his  employer,  his  salary  would  be  fixed,  in  all  probability, 
at  a  figure  which  would  enable  him  to  reimburse  the  loan 
at  the  end  of  the  first  year.  In  short,  the  more  deeply 
he  could  get  in  debt  to  his  brother,  the  more  liberally  his 
brother  would  be  likely  to  compensate  him  for  his  services, 
that  he  might  the  sooner  be  enabled  to  discharge  his  obli- 
gations. Jack  therefore  named  fifty  dollars  in  his  reply 
to  Joseph,  and  knowing  that  he  could  wear  out  at  least 
seventy  dollars'  worth  of  clothing,  he  felt  very  well  satis- 
fied, before  joining  his  brother,  that  his  salary  could  not 
be  fixed  at  a  less  sum  than  one  hundred  and  twenty  dol- 
lars.    When  they  met,  Joseph  smiled  and  agreed  to  it. 

The  other  young  gentleman  standing  on  the  margin  of 
the  "Mad  Missouri,"  and  who  will  figure  as  a  hero,  was 
likewise  from  the  same  village  in  Kentucky.     Nap  had 


12  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

been  Jack's  schoolmate,  and  always  his  admirer  and 
friend.  Indeed,  he  seemed  to  find  a  delight  in  yielding 
to  the  caprices  of  his  early  associate,  and  was  ever  willing 
to  be  governed  by  his  superior  judgment.  Jack  had  saved 
him  from  many  a  beating  at  school;  and  the  poor  boy, 
although  he  might  be  deficient  in  courage,  was  never  want- 
ing in  gratitude.  His  father  had  been  a  tallow-chandler, 
like  Benjamin  Franklin's;  and  it  seemed  that  it  was  partly 
owing  to  that  fact,  as  well  as  to  the  humble  condition  of 
his  widowed  mother,  that  he  had  been  made  the  scape-* 
goat  of  the  school.  '  Jack,  however,  was  quite  as  poor  as 
Nap,  and  there  were  some  twelve  or  fifteen  brothers  and 
sisters  in  his  family ;  whereas  Nap  had  neither  sister  nor 
brother,  and  his  mother  owned  a  small  tenement  in  the 

village   of   C ,  besides   enjoying  a  moderate  income 

from  the  sale  of  candles  and  soaps.  But  Jack  was  ever 
sufficiently  courageous  to  defend  both  himself  and  his 
friend  with  his  fists,  and  hence  he  was  respected  by  the 
sons  of  richer  parents.  Thus  time  progressed  until  the 
boys  were  both  taken  from  school.  One  departed  for  a 
neighbouring  village  to  learn  the  mystery  of  copying 
pleas,  and  the  other  became  the  moulder  of  wax  and  tal- 
low, bearing  himself  the  name  of  one  of  the  materials  of 
his  vocation,  and  being  in  his  nature  almost  as  impressible, 
and  liable  to  be  moulded  by  others  to  suit  their  purposes. 
This  was  Nap's  predominating  characteristic.  Like  the 
chameleon,  he  assumed  the  hue  of  the  last  object  that  had 
interested  him.  And  when  Jack,  after  an  absence  of 
several  years,  returned  to  his  parental  roof  to  spend  a  few 
days  with  the  family  before  setting  out  on  the  long  journey 
to  Missouri,  he  was  surprised  to  find  that  the  lapse  of  time 
had  wrought  but  little  change  in  the  mind  and  disposition 
of  his  early  friend  and  protdg^. 

Nap,  however,  had  hugely  grown  in  body ;  and  although 
he  was  quite  as  much  disposed  to  be  inoffensive,  and  as 
peaceable  as  ever,  yet  his  fully  developed  physical  dimen- 
sions were  not  so  likely  to  invite  the  most  pugnaciously 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  13 

disposed  of  his  old  persecutors  to  a  renewal  of  their  cuffing 
sports.  But  Jack  found  him  the  very  embodiment  of 
gratitude,  and  was  embraced  in  his  herculean  arms  with 
hearty  affection.  Yet  there  was  a  habit  that  Nap  had  re- 
cently fallen  into,  which  Jack  could  not  avoid  observing 
with  surprise.  He  was  amazed,  if  not  mortified,  to  see  his 
friend  constantly  assuming  the  tones,  gestures,  or  attitudes 
of  certain  physicians,  lawyers,  politicians,  or  other  promi- 
nent individuals  in  the  community,  or  visitors  of  distinction 
from  a  distance,  who  had  sojourned  at  the  village  inn. 
His  mother  declared  that  the  boy  (now  weighing  nearly 
two  hundred  pounds)  could  not  help  it ;  for,  as  his  father 
before  him  had  done  the  same  thing,  of  course  it  was 
hereditary,  and  therefore  ineradicable.  Even  if  such  was 
the  case,  the  singular  habit  of  Nap  afforded  diversion  for 
the  whole  village.  At  one  time  he  might  be  seen  walking 
the  streets  with  the  hobbling  gait  and  patronizing  smile  of 
Colonel  R.  M.  Johnson ;  at  another  he  would  imitate  the 
lofty  carriage  of  Mr.  Clay,  and  enunciate  his  words  in  a 
similarly  distinct  manner.  In  short,  whatever  might  be 
the  nature  of  the  prevailing  man  or  idea  of  the  time,  it  was 
sure  to  take  possession  of  both  the  body  and  soul  of  poor 
Nap,  and  sweep  him  along  like  the  thistle-down  in  a 
hurricane. 

To  rescue  his  early  friend  from  the  ridicule  of  which  he 
was  rapidly  becoming  the  victim.  Jack  sought  an  oppor- 
tunity to  expatiate  in  his  presence  upon  the  delights  of  the 
romantic  wilds  of  Missouri,  and  to  describe  the  brilliant  suc- 
cesses met  with  by  intelligent  and  enterprising  Kentuckians 
who  had  gone  thither  but  a  few  years  previously  without 
money  in  their  pockets.  Nap  listened  for  a  long  time  in 
silence,  and  with  dilated  eyes ;  then,  as  was  his  habit  when 
a  revolution  occurred  in  his  mind,  he  sprang  up  abruptly, 
and  hastened  away  to  his  mother.  He  returned  the  same 
hour,  and  announced  that  he  had  induced  his  parent  to 
accept  an  offer  of  five  hundred  dollars  made  by  a  neighbour, 
for  a  portion  of  the  lot  of  ground  on  which  her  house  stood. 


14  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

The  money  was  to  be  his,  and  he  was  already  impatient  to 
depart  for  Missouri  with  Jack  Handy. 

The  only  serious  regrets  the  young  men  had  experienced 
upon  setting  out  on  their  far-western  expedition,  were 
caused  by  the  treatment  they  met  with  at  the  hands  of 
their  sweethearts.  Miss  Kate  Frost,  who  had  long  since 
captivated  the  heart  of  young  Handy,  very  wisely  refused 
to  surrender  her  own  until  he  had  acquired  more  years 
and  experience, — more  beard,  and,  perhaps,  more  money. 
But  Miss  Molly  Brook  had  flatly  refused  her  hand  to  poor 
Nap,  without  deigning  to  vouchsafe  any  reason  for  so  doing. 
She  merely  hinted  that  he  might  renew  the  offer  at  some 
future  day.  Nap,  however,  was  at  no  loss  to  attribute  a 
cause  for  it ;  he  had  no  doubt  it  was  owing  altogether  to 
his  want  of  fortune.  Our  adventurers,  having  thus  bid 
adieu  to  their  mistresses  without  anger,  as  they  could  not 
consider  themselves  quite  rejected,  secretly  resolved  to 
achieve  ample  fortunes  before  they  returned  to  renew  their 
proposals. 

But  enough  of  this  retrospection.  Nap  and  Jack  were 
watching  and  listening  for  the  boat  which  was  to  bring  the 
goods  that  were  to  lay  the  foundations  of  their  fortunes. 
Joseph  Handy  was  understood  to  be  on  board,  and  Nap 
was  all  eagerness  for  his  arrival,  having  made  up  his  mind 
to  accede  to  a  proposition  that  had  been  made  him.  With 
some  five  hundred  dollars  in  his  pocket,  he  had  concluded 
to  act  as  a  sort  of  volunteer  salesman,  or  amateur  clerk, 
until  he  should  acquire  sufficient  knowledge  of  the  business 
to  set  up  for  himself.  Such  had  been  the  nature  of  th« 
proposition  made  by  Joseph,  who,  while  devising  what 
would  be  undoubtedly  the  most  proper  course  for  the  young 
man  to  pursue,  had  an  eye  also  to  his  own  interest.  Nap 
was  to  be  his  first  wholesale  customer.  He  was  to  spend 
his  five  hundred  dollars  with  his  preceptor ;  and  besides 
the  merchandise  thus  paid  for,  he  was  to  have  in  r^ddition 
five  hundred  dollars  worth  on  a  credit  of  six  months. 

At  length  the  steamer  turned  a  distant  point  of  land 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  15 

and  hove  in  view.  And  by  the  time  there  were  upon  the 
ground  a  sufficient  number  of  wagons  with  their  long  ox- 
teams  to  convey  the  packages  up  the  hill,  the  boat  had 
landed,  and  Joseph  Handy  leaped  ashore  and  grasped  the 
extended  hands  of  the  young  novices  .who  were  to  be  his 
only  assistants  in  the  store. 

Then  followed  the  boxes,  bales,  barrels,  &c.,  which  were 
piled  up  on  the  river-bank  under  the  spreading  forest 
trees  where  Daniel  Boone  had  once  killed  the  buffalo  and 
chased  the  roving  savage.  Such  a  novel  spectacle  made 
the  natives  stare.  It  was  the  first  assortment  of  goods 
direct  from  the  eastern  cities  that  had  ever  been  landed  in 
the  new  town,  and  they  looked  upon  the  elder  Handy  as 
another  John  Jacob  Astor. 

It  had  been  rumored  by  a  store-keeper  located  some 
twenty  miles  distant,  and  who  had  bought  his  own  stock  of 
wares  in  Boonville,  that  Handy's  goods  would  be  nothing 
more  than  remnants  picked  up  in  St.  Louis.  A  single 
glance  at  the  cases  was  sufficient  to  detect  the  calumny. 
They  bore  the  names  of  jobbers  of  the  highest  standing  in 
New  York  and  Philadelphia ;  and  the  Rockhills,  Chitten- 
dens.  Copes,  Woods,  Bowen  &  McNamee;  the  Stuarts, 
Conrads,  Drapers,  Siter,  Price  &  Co. ;  the  Moultons,  Sow- 
erses,  Wards,  Lippincott,  Grambo  &  Co. ;  the  Schaffers, 
Carpenters,  Kobertses,  Hendersons,  &c.  &c.  &c.,  were 
deliberately  spelled  and  distinctly  pronounced  by  many 
an  honest  pioneer,  who  believed  that  henceforth  he  would 
be  enabled  to  purchase  his  merchandise  on  reasonable  terms, 
and  without -having  to  go  out  of  the  county  for  them. 

And  Nap  and  Jack,  who  had  been  upon  the  ground 
several  days,  stimulating  the  carpenters  to  have  the  house 
in  readiness  for  the  reception  of  the 'goods,  had  received 
many  flattering  attentions  from  the  neighbours  interested 
in  the  growth  of  the  place  and  in  the  probability  of  an 
increase  in  the  value  of  their  property,  situated  in  the 
vicinity  of  a  well-established  store.  They  had  not  failed 
to  perceive  and  appreciate  the  importance  attached  to  their 


16  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

persons,  and  they  really  began  to  feel  as  if  they  were  the 
undisputed  lions  of  those  bushes  where  the  town  had  been 
staked  off.  Being  looked  upon  as  oracles  and  benefactors, 
it  was  natural  that  they  should  take  advantage  of  such  an 
opportunity  to  exert  their  newborn  influence  in  behalf  of 
their  employer.  Hence  they  promised  much,  and  boasted 
a  great  deal,  as  young  merchants  have  been  known  to  do 
occasionally.  And  if  the  expectations  thus  raised  were 
not  to  be  realized  to  the  letter,  they  created  at  all  events 
a  very  favourable  impression  at  the  beginning. 

It  must  be  remarked,  however,  in  passing,  that  the 
distinguished  attentions  which  Nap  received  had  begun  to 
have  the  usual  deleteriou's  effect  upon  his  susceptible 
nature ;  and  Jack  became  somewhat  fearful  that  his  com- 
panion might,  in  a  moment  of  lofty  aspiration,  suddenly 
relinquish  the  idea  of  becoming  a  merchant.  There  were 
decided  indications  in  his  self-complacency,  and  in  the 
expression  of  his  conviction  that  the  Missourians  had 
chosen  less  eligible  men  than  himself  to  represent  them  in 
Congress,  to  afford  reasonable  grounds  for  an  apprehension 
that  he  might  sacrifice  his  fortune  and  character  and  sink 
into  a  mere  politician.  But  when  at  eve  they  were  left  to 
themselves,  it  was  no  difficult  matter  to  chase  away  the 
absurd  notion.  Then  Jack  would  fill  his  friend'§,head  with 
romantic  fancies,  and  make  him  believe  that  life  in  the 
wilderness,  without  disputation,  and  beyond  the  reach  of 
the  caprices  of  a  more  fastidious  society,  was  the  happiest 
condition  in  which  one  could  be  placed.  He  cited  the 
contented  lives  of  Boone  and  other  pioneers,  who  had 
not  only  enjoyed  supreme  happiness  amid  those  beautiful 
scenes  of  nature,  fresh  from  the  hand  of  the  Creator,  but 
had  likewise  been  ioudly  heralded  to  the  world  by  the 
trumpet  of  fame,  and  whose  names  were  more  likely  to  go 
down  to  posterity  than  those  of  ordinary  members  of 
Congress.  In  short,  he  procured  for  Nap  a  copy  of  the 
"Wild  Western  Scenes,"  which  most  effectually  banished 
his  ambitious  longings. 


OF    A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  17 


CHAPTER  II. 

Opening  and  marking  the  goods — Curiosity  of  the  crowd — Snakes  about 
— Sleeping  and  snoring — Nap  dreams — The  footing  of  it. 

Joseph  Handy's  first  day  as  a  merchant  at  Tyre  was  a 
busy  one,  both  for  himself  and  his  inexperienced  clerks. 
The  opening  and  marking  of  goods,  and  arranging  them 
in  order  on  the  shelves,  occupied  the  whole  of  the  day, 
retarded  and  obstructed  as  they  were  continually  by  the 
careless  remarks  and  curious  inquiries  of  the  eager  crowd 
around  them.  Every  piece  of  goods  taken  from  the  boxes 
was  subjected  to  the  inspection  of  the  bystanders ;  and 
those  that  were  wrapped  in  papers,  such  as  Irish  linens, 
the  contents  of  which  could  not  be  readily  s^en,  were 
'pinched  by  the  ingenious  youths  from  the  country,  to 
ascertain,  if  possible,  the  nature  of  the  "plunder,"  as  they 
called  it,  hidden  within.  Some  smelt  the  parcels  whose 
contents  they  could  not  ascertain  either  by  gazing  or 
pinching.  And  it  might  have  been  impolitic  to  repulse  such 
an  interference.  All  of  them  were  very  honest  and  well- 
meaning  people ;  and  it  was  the  policy  of  the  merchant  to 
keep  them  in  a  good  humour.  Yet  some  were  not  destined 
to  escape  vdth  impunity.  Nap  had  wrenched  oif  the  top 
of  a  box  from  the  drug-store  of  the  Messrs.  Harris  &  Co. ; 
and  the  force  of  example  being  as  usual  irresistible  with 
him,  he  regaled  his  nostrils  frequently  with  the  highly 
perfumed  soaps,  essences,  &c.  But  happening  to  apply 
a  parcel  of  gum  foetid  to  his  nose,  he  started  back  and 
suffered  it  to  fall  upon  the  floor.  The  pack  of  juveniles, 
supposing  its  fall  to  have  been  accidental,  and  having 
hitherto  enjoyed  all  the  sweet  odours  of  the  parcels  as  they 
were  lifted  from  the  box,  pounced  upon  it  like  hungry 
wolves,  and  were  instantly  set  to  howling  by  the  disagree 
able  smell. 


18  LIFE   AXD   ADVENTURES 

Toward  night  all  the  inquisitive  people  departed  for 
their  homes,  many  of  them  promising  to  bring  their 
wives  and  daughters  the  next  day,  or  in  a  few  days,  when 
the  young  gentlemen  would  be  prepared  to  wait  upon  them. 
Nap,  observing  the  condescension  of  his  principal,  and  the 
tact  he  employed  to  create  the  impression  that  great  bar- 
gains were  to  be  undoubtedly  had  at  his  establishment, 
giving  way  to  the  enthusiasm  he  felt,  launched  out  in  a 
strain  of  superlative  extravagance.  He  not  only  assured 
the  gaping  and  staring  portion  of  the  crowd  that  Handy' s 
goods  were  to  be  offered  at  lower  prices  than  usual  in  that 
section  of  the  country,  but  that  they  were  absolutely  supe- 
rior in  quality  to  any  others  ever  imported. 

After  night,  and  deep  in  the  night,  their  labours  were 
continued.  The  practised  merchant  will  need  no  special 
assurance  to  believe  it  was  no  slight  undertaking  for  them 
to  open,  mark,  and  properly  arrange,  ready  for  business, 
some  six  thousand  dollars'  worth  of  goods  in  one  day  and 
evening.  At  length  the  work  was  completed,  and  they  sat 
down  on  the  log  steps  before  the  door  to  rest,  and  to 
arrange  their  plans  for  the  next  day.  But  they  were  com- 
pletely exhausted,  and  mused  long  in  silence.  The  lone- 
liness of  the  scene  made  a  deep  impression  on  Jack.  The 
moon  was  midway  in  the  heavens,  casting  down  a  flood  of 
light,  which  caused  the  smallest  objects  to  be  distinctly 
visible.  The  river,  so  turbid  by  day,  resembled  a  sheet  of 
liquid  silver  by  night.  The  trees  that  fringed  its  margin, 
and  those  around  the  rude  house,  were  perfectly  motion- 
less, not  the  slightest  breath  of  air  disturbing  the  repose 
of  their  half-grown  leaves.  The  only  sound  they  heard 
was  the  plaintive  note  of  a  solitary  whippoorwill.  The 
Btillness  which  brooded  over  the  scene  threw  but  a  moment- 
ary shade  of  melancholy  over  the  face  of  Joseph,  as  he 
was  less  susceptible  of  poetical  influences  than  his  brother. 
His  mind  was  more  inclined  to  dive  into  the  chances  of 
the  future  than  to  dwell  upon  the  past ;  and  so  Jack  found 


OF  A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  19 

all  his  romantic  meditations  suddenly  put  to  flight  hy  the 
following  inquiry: 

«' Jack,  what  amount  do  you  say  we  will  sell  to-morrow?" 

"I  suppose,"  said  Jack,  after  some  little  bewilderment 
and  hesitation,  "about  seventy-five  dollars'  worth." 

"I  say  a  thousand,  at  least!"  said  Nap,  slapping  his 
hands  together  violently. 

"Nonsense,  Nap,"  continued  Joseph.  "If  we  sell  that 
amount  in  a  month,  at  the  prices  marked,  it  will  not  be  a 
bad  business.  But,  Jack,  how  much  of  your  seventy-five 
dollars  will  be  in  cash?" 

"I  think  about  half." 

"And  I  say  about  a  quarter,"  said  Nap;  "for  they  don't 
look  as  if  they  had  much  money." 

"  You  must  not  judge  people  by  their  clothes  in  Mis- 
souri, Nap.  You  believe  about  half,  Jack?"  continued 
Joseph,  smiling.  "Now  I  will  venture  a  prediction.  I 
say  we  will  sell  about  one  hundred  dollars'  worth,  and 
seventy-five  dollars  of  it  will  be  in  ready  money.  The 
first  day's  sales  in  a  new  establishment  exhibit  a  larger 
proportion  of  cash  than  subsequent  ones." 

Though  almost  exhausted  with  fatigue.  Jack  listened 
attentively  to  the  many  other  w^ords  of  wisdom  and  expe- 
rience which  his  brother  uttered  for  his  edification.  But 
Nap  was  soon  quite  oblivious  of  every  thing  that  had  been 
said  after  he  ceased  to  participate  in  the  conversation. 
His  head  was  thrown  back,  his  mouth  wide  open,  his  eyes 
closed,  and,  as  usual  when  asleep,  he  began  to  snore  most 
astoundingly.  Indeed,  at  the  conclusion  of  Joseph's  lec- 
ture, he  gave  vent  to  so  startling  a  snort  as  to  awaken 
himself. 

"What's  this?  What's  the  matter?"  cried  he,  spring 
ing  up. 

"Oh,  nothing.  Nap,"  said  Jack,  "only  you  were  sleep- 
ing too  fast,  and  I  suppose  you  got  off  the  track  in  your 
dream." 

"Well !  I  really  dreamt  there  was  an  earthquake  ;" 


20  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

Soon  after,  all  three  of  them  entered  the  store  and  pre- 
pared to  take  the  rest  so  necessary  after  the  incessant 
exercises  of  the  day.  They  had  no  beds ;  but  it  is  a  part 
of  the  country  merchant's  discipline  to  do  without  one. 
So  it  was  not  long  before  the  rubbish  was  swept  from  the 
floor,  and  three  pallets,  consisting  of  coarse  cotton  cloth 
and  saddle-blankets,  with  three  pieces  of  flannel  covered 
with  muslin  for  pillows,  were  in  readiness  for  the  repose 
of  their  weary  limbs. 

Nap  was  the  first  to  sleep,  as  wag  ascertained  from  the 
unmistakable  signal  of  his  nasal  trumpet.  Joseph  soon 
followed,  notwithstanding  the  annoyance  of  the  disagree- 
able sound  in  his  immediate  neighbourhood.  But  it  was  in 
vain  that  Jack  sought  repose.  His  overwrought  body  and 
mind  seemed  to  repel  the  approaches  of  slumber,  and  it 
was  long  before  he  ceased  to  turn  uneasily  from  side  to 
side.  And  when  some  degree  of  bodily  composure  was 
attained,  the  perturbation  of  his  mind  continued.  In  his 
snatches  of  dreams  he  beheld  only  venomous  snakes,  and 
heard  the  startling  rattle  of  the  fatal  reptile.  Once  he 
sprang  up  and  awakened  Joseph.  He  could  not  be  sure 
he  had  not  heard  the  rattle  in  reality  instead  of  merely 
dreaming  it.  And  so  he  and  his  brother  placed  their 
pallets  on  the  counter,  and  called  to  Nap  to  follow  their 
example.  Nap  ceased  to  snore,  and  growled  some  unintel- 
ligible mutterings,  but  could  not  be  so  easily  awakened. 

''Awake!"  cried  Jack,  going  to  him  and  shaking  him 
violently. 

«0h  yes,  very  well,  then,"  responded  Nap. 

"  But  why  not  get  up  ?" 

"Very  well — all  right,  I  say,"  said  Nap,  closing  his 
eyes  again. 

"Nap,  there  are  snakes  about!  JJ)p,  before  you  are 
bitten!" 

"  Snakes  !"  cried  Nap,  his  eyes  now  wide  open. 

"Rattlesnakes,"  said  Joseph. 

"  Wake  snakes  and  come  to  taw!"  yelled  Nap,  springing 


OP   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  21 

at  one  bound,  heavy  as  he  was,  into  a  chair,  at  another  on 
the  counter  near  the  window,  and  was  then  in  the  act  of 
leaping  out  upon  the  ground,  when  Joseph,  laughing 
heartily,  seized  him  by  the  leg. 

"Let  me  go!"  cried  Nap,  with  a  cold  perspiration  on 
his  forehead.    "Dod  blast  the  snakes  !    Where  are  they?" 

<'I  doubt,  Nap,"  said  Joseph,  "if  there  is  one  within  a 
mile  of  us.  It  was  merely  one  of  Jack's  dreams.  His 
imagination  is  so  strong  that  the  creatures  flitting  in  his 
dreams  are  remembered  as  realities.  His  dream  of  snakes 
awoke  him,  and  then  he  believed  it  was  no  dream." 

"Was  that  all?" 

"  Or  perhaps  it  was  only  to  frighten  you,  and  stop  your 
snoring  until  he  could  get  asleep.  He  is  sleeping  now : 
I  am  certain  of  it,  from  his  deep  breathing." 

"I  wonder  if  it  was  a  trick  of  that  sort?  But  do  I 
snore,  sure  enough?" 

"  Does  the  escape-pipe  of  the  old  steamer  Boreas  make 
a  noise  ?" 

"Don't  it!" 

"  Then  taking  into  consideration  the  difference  in  your 
dimensions,  I  must  say  you  can  beat  old  Boreas.  If  you 
were  as  large  as  the  boat,  you  could  be  heard  all  the  way 
down  to  St.  Louis." 

"Well,  now,  I  wasn't  aware  of  that!  But  don't  you 
think  there  might  be  a  rattlesnake  under  the  house  ?  Since 
snakes  have  been  mentioned,  I'm  afraid  there  is  some 
danger.  I'll  lie  here  between  you,  my  head  to  your  feet, 
and  my  feet  to  Jack's  head." 

Nap  adjusted  his  couch  accordingly,  and  continued  to 
talk  long  after  Joseph  ceased  to  make  any  answers,  for  the 
latter  endeavoured  to  take  advantage  of  the  cessation  of 
sound  from  Nap's  escape-pipe,  to  sink  into  a  recreating 
slumber.  Nap  finally  composed  his  limbs  as  well  as  he 
was  able  on  the  narrow  counter,  and  fell  into  an  unquiet 
doze,  being  encompassed  by  rattlesnakes  in  his  dreams. 

Again  Jack  became  restless  in  his  sleep.    The  light  had 


22  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

not  been  long  extinguished,  and  Nap's  organ  had  just  run 
its  discordant  diapason,  when  Jack,  making  a  sudden  lurch, 
tumbled  from  the  counter,  but  luckily  alighted  on  his  feet. 

"What's  the  matter  now,  Jack?"  inquired  Joseph,  who 
had  failed  in  the  attempt  to  slumber  before  Nap's  organ 
sounded  its  alarming  tones. 

"  Oh,  nothing  at  all,"  said  Jack.  "  I  merely  rolled  off  the 
counter." 

"  You  must  learn  to  lie  better  than  that :  the  counter  is 
nearly  thirty  inches  wide,"  said  Joseph. 

Neither  the  fall  nor  the  colloquy  that  ensued  seemed  to 
have  any  effect  on  Nap,  who,  although  he  seemed  to  turn 
and  writhe  as  if  tormented  by  unpleasant  visions,  still 
blew  off  his  steam  as  loudly  as  ever.  Indeed,  sometimes 
it  would  come  in  such  startling  explosions,  as  nearly  to 
arouse  himself,  and  which  Joseph  declared  was  almost  suf- 
ficient to  awaken  the  dead,  if  there  could  be  any  virtue  in 
braying  trumpets.  However,  the  imperious  demands  of 
nature  had  to  be  answered,  and  all  of  them  finally  suc- 
cumbed to  the  approaches  of  oblivious  slumber. 

Yet  the  brothers  were  destined  to  be  startled  once 
more  by  the  provoking  Nap.  It  was  just  about  the  dawn 
of  the  morning,  and  at  .the  still  and  solemn  hour  when 
the  whippoorwill  utters  his  last  plaintive  note,  that  Nap, 
from  dreaming  he  was  the  victim  of  hissing  and  rat- 
tling serpents,  awoke  with  a  conviction  that  his  peril  was 
real,  and  not  the  mere  "fabric  of  a  baseless  vision,"  which 
was  to  "leave  no  trace  behind."  Within,  an  impenetrable 
darkness  still  reigned.  But  in  the  silence,  rendered  more 
profound  by  the  cessation  of  his  own  inharmonious  snoring, 
his  quick  ear  was  conscious  of  a  low  sound  in  his  imme- 
diate vicinity,  while  a  slight  gliding  motion  could  be  dis- 
tinguished near  his  head.  With  eyes  dilated,  trembling 
limbs,  and  a  violently  beating  heart,  poor  Nap  remained 
horror-stricken,  and  for  many  moments  knew  not  what  to 
do.  If  he  moved,  he  might  be  bitten ;  whereas  he  had 
heard  it  said,  or  had  read  somewhere,  that  a  snake,  and 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  23 

particularly  a  magnanimous  rattlesnake,  would  never  strike 
its  fangs  into  an  inanimate  object.  Such  thoughts  as  these 
ran  through  his  brain  with  the  rapidity  of  lightning,  during 
which  time  he  continued  perfectly  motionless.  Again  the 
rustling  was  heard,  and  the  movement  continued,  even 
touching  his  hair,  which  stood  straight  out  from  his  head. 
At  last  he  could  no  longer  bear  the  loathsome  proximity  of 
the  venomous  reptile.  By  a  desperate  effort  he  succeeded 
in  springing  to  his  knees,  and  seizing  his  pillow  (a  piece  of 
flannel)  as  he  faced  about,  began  to  belabour  the  deadly  foe 
most  furiously,  striking  rapidly  to  the  right  and  left,  for 
the  purpose  of  dashing  it  to  the  floor.  It  may  be  supposed 
the  poor  fellow's  surprise  was  great,  and  relief  profound, 
when  Joseph  exclaimed — 

"Nap,  what  are  you  beating  my  feet  for  ?" 
"I  thought  they  were  snakes !"  said  Nap,  panting.     "I 
was  dreaming!     I  beg  your  pardon!"     Saying  this,  he 
embraced  the  feet  most  affectionately. 

"Let  my  feet  alone!"  cried  Joseph,  vexed  at  being  so 
often  disturbed  by  his  brace  of  novitiate  clerks. 


CHAPTER  III. 


The  first  day's  business — A  *' bogus"  dollar — A  word  and  a  blow — Polly 
Hopkins — Nap's  hair-breadth  escape  from  matrimony. 

Soon  after  Nap's  last  adventure,  and  long  before  the 
sun  was  up,  the  pallets  were  cleared  away,  the  floor  brushed 
nicely,  and  the  goods  properly  arranged  and  displayed  to 
the  best  advantage,  for  a  busy  day  was  anticipated. 

When  the  horn  was  sounded  for  breakfast  over  at  Mr. 
Black's,  and  the  young  men  stepped  out  upon  the  green 
and  proceeded  along  the  winding  path  through  hazel- 
bushes,  and  under  towering  oaks,  they  were  in  ecstasies 


24  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

with  the  magnificence  of  the  scene,  and  yielded  uncon- 
sciously to  the  inspiration  of  the  moment. 

The  sun  was  rising  in  unclouded  brilliance  over  the 
distant  hills  to  the  eastward  and  beyond  the  river,  and 
bathing  in  a  sea  of  gold  the  intervening  forest.  Dewdrops 
stood  upon  the  motionless  green  foliage,  and  the  fragrant 
wild  rose  and  honeysuckle  cast  their  perfumes  upon  the 
air.  The  mocking-bird,  the  thrush,  and  the  lark  strained 
their  throats  in  emulous  rivalry ;  and  the  gentle  humming- 
birds flitted  by  in  such  near  proximity  as  to  fan  perceptibly 
the  young  men's  faces. 

After  a  hearty  breakfast — and  there  is  something  in  the 
climate  of  Missouri  which  seems  to  create  a  voracious 
appetite,  particularly  if  one  will  take  sufficient  exercise, 
as  our  young  men  had  done  the  day  before — the  merchants 
were  at  their  posts  in  readiness  for  action.  And  they 
were  not  to  be  disappointed ;  for  parties  of  men  and  wo- 
men followed  each  other  into  town  until  there  were  not 
houses  enough  to  hold  them.  They  were  really  in  each 
other's  way  at  the  store,  and  the  crowd  greatly  confused 
Kap  and  Jack,  who  were  making  their  first  attempts  in  the 
capacity  of  salesmen. 

Among  those  present  during  the  day  were  the  families 
of  Mr.  Townly  and  Colonel  Hopkins.  Whole  families  go 
in  a  body  to  the  country  stores.  In  the  families  named 
there  were  two  young  ladies  of  very  different  temperaments, 
but  who,  nevertheless,  seemed  to  fascinate,  in  some  degree, 
both  of  the  young  gentlemen.  The  first,  Mary  Townly, 
was  a  delicate,  modest  prairie-flower ;  the  other,  Polly 
Hopkins,  was  a  tall,  handsome,  eccentric  girl,  who  thought 
boldly  on  all  subjects  that  occupied  her  mind,  and  never 
hesitated  to  express  her  thoughts.  Many  ludicrous  blun- 
ders tha+  our  young  gentlemen  fell  into  might  have  been 
traced  to  the  mischief-making  Polly.  She  bantered  and 
bullied  them  in  divers  ways,  laughing  at  their  embarrass- 
ment, and  enjoying  the  bright  scarlet  of  poor  Mary's 
blushes.     She  said  she   had  heard  of  a  young  Western 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  25 

merchant,  named  Luke  Shortfield,  who  had  some  years  be- 
fore, in  another  county,  not  only  "  thrown  in  his  thumbs" 
when  measuring  the  goods,  but  had  made  it  a  practice  to 
offer  his  hand  to  all  the  young  ladies  who  dealt  with  him. 
Then  she  demanded  to  know  if  our  young  gentlemen  had 
not  promised  to  be  quite  as  liberal  in  every  respect  as  any 
of  their  competitors  or  predecessors.  Of  course  both  Nap 
and  Jack  answered  in  the  affirmative.  She  then  declared 
her  intention  to  test  the  matter  some  day.  They  said  she 
would  find  them  quite  ready  to  accommodate  her. 

But  before  the  close  of  that  busy  day  there  was  to 
transpire  an  unpleasant  occurrence.  One  of  the  Mulroonys, 
a  well-digger,  from  the  "  old  country,"  taking  advantage 
of  the  absence  of  Joseph  Handy,  who  had  gone  to  dinner, 
passed  upon  Nap  a  dollar  of  "  bogus  money,"  which  Jack 
discovered  to  be  spurious  by  the  application  of  a  drop  of 
acid,  and  then  demanded  another  in  its  place. 

Mulroony  denied  that  he  had  passed  the  counterfeit 
money,  but  intimated  that  some  of  the  ladies  might  have 
done  so.  And  as  if  to  prove  that  he  was  innocent,  he 
put  down  on  the  counter  several  genuine  Spanish  milled 
dollars. 

<'Be  the  powers,"  said  he,  "I  kape  good  money,  and  a 
plenty  of  it !" 

"But  this  counterfeit  came  from  you,  and  I  would  swear 
to  it,"  said  Jack,  throwing  down  the  false  coin  and  taking 
up  a  good  one  which  he  placed  in  the  drawer. 

"Then  be  St.  Patrick  ye'd  swear  to  a  lie!"  was  Mul- 
roony's  reply. 

Jack  could  not  stand  this.  His  Kentucky  blood  revolt- 
ed at  it.  So,  having  nothing  else  in  reach  of  him  at  the 
moment  which  he  could  use  with  effect,  he  snatched  up  the 
Irishman's  bottle  of  whisky  that  stood  upon  the  counter, 
and  broke  it  over  its  owner's  forehead. 

Paddy  was  staggered  and  blinded.  He  ran  out  for  his 
club,  which  had  been  left  in  the  bushes  where  his  old  horse 
was  tied,  and  soon  returned  with  fury  in  his  eyes   and 

3 


26  LIFE   AXD   ADVENTURES 

vengeance  in  his  heart.  But  before  he  could  approach 
near  enough  to  deal  a  blow,  Nap  had  dodged  under  the 
counter,  and  Jack  presented  a  formidable-looking  pistol. 
Mulroony  lowered  his  club  and  gazed  steadfastly  in  the 
young  man's  face.  He  saw  indications  of  danger,  and 
beo-ged  Jack  not  to  kill  him.  Jack  said  he  would  not  fire, 
unless  it  was  in  self-defence.  Mulroony  then  gathered  up 
the  dollars  he  had  left  on  the  counter.  He  said  he  would 
take  the  bogus  coin  and  make  Handy  a  present  of  the 
good  one.  He  could  afford  to  do  it.  He  was  not  so  poor 
as  to  mind  the  loss  of  a  dollar. 

But  Mulroony  was  a  dangerous  man,  and  Jack  was 
warned  by  the  witnesses  of  the  occurrence  to  be  on  his 
guard  against  him.  Nap,  who  had  risen  from  his  hiding- 
place  unperceived,  declared  that  Mulroony  had  better  be 
on  his  guard  against  Jack  and  himself,  for  they  both  had 
guns,  and  intended  to  practise  firing  at  a  target. 

This  affair,  however,  was  soon  forgotten.  A  constant 
succession  of  new  customers  did  not  permit  the  thoughts 
of  the  young  men  to  dwell  upon  it ;  and  the  old  inhabit- 
ants of  the  county  were  accustomed  to  seeing  the  Irish- 
man, particularly  on  occasions  when  many  people  were 
drawn  together,  get  up  some  sort  of  a  quarrel.  In  the 
present  instance,  however,  Mulroony  had  been  disposed  of 
and  driven  from  the  ground  in  a  more  summary  manner 
than  usual. 

"When  the  sun  had  declined  low  in  the  west,  and  the 
last  of  the  company  had  departed,  our  merchants  gladly 
availed  themselves  of  the  opportunity  to  sit  down  and  rest 
their  weary  limbs.  They  sat  in  split-bottomed  chairs, 
leaning  back  against  the  counter,  and  mused  on  the  events 
of  the  day.  The  Handys  were  in  high  spirits,  although 
much  exhausted  in  body,  for  the  result,  when  summed  up, 
exceeded  the  calculations  of  Joseph. 

"How  do  you  like  the  business.  Nap?"  asked  Joseph. 
No  reply  being  made,  he  turned  his  eyes  toward  his  clerk 
and  found  hiir  nodding. 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.    -  27 

<'  He's  off,"  said  Jack.  "  Listen  ;  that's  his  first  snore." 
It  was  true.  But  the  second  one  being  accompanied  by 
a  convulsive  start,  caused  by  a  flitting  vision  of  Mulroony 
with  his  club,  the  legs  of  the  chair  in  which  Nap  was 
sitting  slipped  along  the  floor,  and  he  lay  prostrated  on 
his  back. 

''  Where  is  he?  He  struck  me  !"  he  cried,  leaping  up 
and  preparing  to  run  away.  "  Hold  him — he's  got  a  club  1" 
he  continued.  But  the  laughter  that  saluted  his  ears 
relieved  him.  He  was  soon  wide  awake.  And  then,  in 
something  like  vexation  at  being  the  subject  of  merriment, 
he  confessed,  in  reply  to  Joseph's  repeated  question,  that 
although  he  was  w^ell  enough  pleased  with  the  vocation  of 
the  merchant,  he  was  utterly  disappointed  at  the  small 
amount  of  business  done  that  day.  But  Nap  was  a  novice, 
and  was  yet  to  learn  a  great  deal ;  and  particularly  that  a 
country  store  may  be  filled  with  customers  from  morning 
until  night,  and  yet  the  sales  amount  to  less  than  they 
had  done  on  that  occasion. 

Days  and  weeks  followed,  and  still  there  was  no  material 
diminution  of  the  business ;  but  the  proportion  of  goods 
sold  on  credit  increased.  Nap  and  Jack  soon  became  suf- 
ficiently familiar  with  their  duties  to  dispense  for  days 
together  with  the  presence  of  their  principal,  who  was 

frequently  absent  at  the  town  of  ,  where  he  was 

paying  his  addresses  to  a  Miss  C . 

It  was  during  one  of  these  absences  that  the  young  men 
were  visited  again  by  Miss  Polly  Hopkins.  After  making 
her  purchases,  she  remarked  that  she  intended  to  take  one 
of  the  young  men  home  with  her.  This  was  characteristic 
of  Polly;  but  it  made  Nap  and  Jack  stare. 

''  I'm  quite  in  earnest,"  said  she.  ^'I  have  bought  your 
goods,  supposing  all  the  time  that  one  of  the  salesmen 
would  be  'thrown  in'  afterward." 

"But — but,"  stammered  Nap,  half  in  merriment  and 
half  in  confusion  at  such  a  singular  and  unexpected  an- 
nouncement. 


28  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"No  buts — but  come  to  the  point,"  said  she,  while  the 
half-dozen  people  in  the  store  evinced  some  curiosity  to 
see  the  end  of  her  assault  on  the  gallantry  of  the  clerks. 
But  I'm — almost  engaged  to  another  1"  said  Nap. 
<i  Yet  not  exactly,  either.  Hang  me,  if  I  know  what  to 
say,  Miss  Polly !  But  it  is  true  that  I  am  half  disposed 
of  to  another" 

"Who  !"  she  demanded  so  imperiously,  that  Nap  blurted 
out  his  secret  before  he  was  aware  of  what  he  was  saying, 

"To  Molly  Brook." 

"  Moll  Brook  ?  That  sounds  like  the  name  of  a  tune 
one  of  our  negroes  plays  on  the  fiddle,  and  I  like  it  very 
much.  How  long  have  you  known  her  ?  How  much  do 
you  love  her?     Does  she  love  you?" 

"No  matter — never  mind,"  said  Nap,  recovering  his 
composure,  and  seeing  Jack  smile.  "  She  is  not  my  wife, 
and  I  am  free  to  have  you.  But  you  are  merely  joking. 
I  know  you  wouldn't  have  me." 

"  How  do  you  know  ?  I  think  I  would,  provided  you 
are  not  the  one  that  snores  so  outrageously.  Our  old 
Tom  says,  when  he  came  here  the  other  night  for  some 
ague  and  fever  medicine,  one  of  you  was  snoring  so 
loudly  that  it  scared  his  horse,  and  he  came  near  having 
a  fall." 

This  produced  some  laughter,  in  which  Nap  heartily 
joined,  and  secretly  rejoiced  for  the  first  time  that  he  did 
snore.  But  before  he  had  time  to  own  he  was  guilty  of 
the  abominable  practice.  Jack,  foreseeing  what  might  be 
the  consequence  if  Polly  should  direct  her  battery  against 
him,  interposed  the  following  mendacious  speech : 

"  Oh  no,  Miss  Polly ;  I  can  clear  Nap  of  that.  With 
shame  and  sorrow  I  must  confess  that  I  am  the  guilty  one." 

"  What  ?  what's  that  you  say.  Jack  ?  You,  you  snore  ? 
Why,  haven't  you  declared  a  hundred  times  that  my  snoring 
disturbed  your  rest?" 

"Very  true.     But  I  was  jesting." 

"  I  never  heard  you  snore." 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MERCIIA,NT.  29 

«<  That  proves  nothing,"  said  Polly.  "  Perhaps  you  get 
asleep  first.     Did  you  ever  hear  yourself  snore?" 

"No,  I  never  did,"  said  Nap,  ingenuously. 

"  That  proves  you  don't  snore.    Therefore  I'll  take  you." 

<' Well,  suppose  you  do  !  I  doubt  if  Molly  will  have  me 
before  I  make  a  fortune,  and  that  may  be  too  long  for  me 
to  wait.  Durned  if  I'm  afraid !  I'll  try  your  mettle, 
Miss  !"  said  Nap,  determined  to  stand  his  ground  bravely, 
not  doubting  that  the  indomitable  Polly  would  soon  take 
the  alarm  and  beat  a  retreat. 

««  Ready,  sir  !     Try  me  !"  said  she. 

<'  I'll  try  you  !  Will  any  one  present  marry  us  ?"  asked 
Nap,  turning  toward  several  countrymen  who  were  the 
amused  witnesses  of  the  scene. 

"I  will  accommodate  you,"  said  one  of  them,  who  was 
a  stranger,  stepping  forward  very  gravely. 

Nap  now  supposed  the  girl  would  "hang  fire;"  but  she 
seemed  to  be  "as  true  as  steel."  She  grasped  his  prof- 
fered hand  with  animation,  and  with  a  determined  expres- 
sion of  features. 

"Go  on,  stranger,"  said  she. 

"  I  pronounce  you  man  and" 

"One  moment!"  said  Jack,  quickly,  and  at  the  same 
time  placing  his  hand  on  the  stranger's  mouth. 

i  What  have  you  got  to  say?"  asked  Polly,  turning  to 
Jack. 

"  Nap's  innocent" 

"Innocent?  You  don't  suppose  marrying  a  man  is 
hanging  him,  do  you  ?  Or  that  the  uttering  of  a  marriage 
ceremony  is  a  sentence  of  death  ?  Do  you  think  I  would 
have  him  if  he  had  been  guilty" 

"But  he  is  guilty.     That's  what  I  meant  to  say." 

<' Guilty  of  what?" 

"  Snoring.  He  snores  like  a  porpoise.  I  did  him  great 
injustice." 

"  Is  that  all  ?     And  if  you  can  bear  to  be  near  him  in 

his  sleep,  w^hy  not  I?" 

3*  • 


30  LIFE  AXD   ADVEXTURES 

"I  keep  him  awake  by  scratching  and  kicking,  until  I'm 
asleep  myself." 

« Why  can't  I  do  the  same  thing  ?  It  is  too  late  now. 
Go  on,  stranger!" 

"  Dinged  if  it  is  too  late,  though !"  said  Nap,  breaking 
away^  and  leading  over  the  counter.  Jack  had  heard 
some  <me  say  the  stranger  was  a  magistrate,  and  he  con- 
triyed  to  whisper  the  information  in  Nap's  ear,  who 
instantly  began  to  tremble. 

Polly,  apparently  vexed  at  the  interruption,  next  as- 
sailed Jack. 

"  Then,  sir,"  said  she,  "since  you  own  that  you  are  not 
tiie  snoring  gentleman,  suppose  I  take  you,  I  must  have 
one  of  you." 

"  Oh,  take  your  choice  !"  said  Jack,  so  composedly  that 
the  wild  girl  desisted  from  her  folly,  and  soon  after  de- 
parted, but  not  without  uttering  threats  of  what  she  would 
do  if  ever  she  caught  either  of  the  young  men  from  home. 
She  told  them  to  beware  of  her,  as  well  as  of  Mulroony, 
for  they  would  fcid  her  quite  as  dangerous  a  subject  to 
deal  with. 


CHAPTER  IV. 


V 


TaloBg  mm.  aeeovnt  ni  stock— Tcniee  pieaciwed  <m  speenbUioB — ^Froits 
mad  Moonfi^t— f%e  \mA  aad  tear— }S«p  ffntm  into  poetics— Hot  sad 
cold— rAgoe  sad  feTca*  eemnr  \mf%. 

At  length  our  merchants  were  in  the  midst  of  the  dull 
season.  Seasons  in  business  fluctuate  periodically  like 
other  sessons:  Joseph  Handy  had  suddenly  resolved  to 
take  an  account  of  the  stock  on  hand,  and  make  an  esti- 
mate, while  he  had  nothing  else  to  do,  ef  the  amount  of 
profits  he  had  realized. 

Jack,  of  course,  did  not  relish  the  Job,  and  perhaps  no 


OP   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  31 

clerk  ever  did.  So  he  combated  the  project  as  long  as  he 
could,  but  all  in  vain.     His  brother  was  inexorable. 

One  day,  when  not  a  single  customer  was  in  the  store, 
the  senior  Handy  announced  to  Jack  that  they  would 
begin  the  inventory  at  once ;  and  he  told  him  to  awaken 
Nap,  who  was  lying  on  his  back  upon  the  counter,  fast 
asleep  and  snoring  very  loudly.  He  wanted  him  to  weigh 
the  heavy  articles  in  the  wareroom. 

Jack,  finding  his  opposition  unavailing,  made  a  virtue 
of  necessity,  and  assumed  a  cheerful  air.  Having  called 
Nap  .once  or  twice  without  receiving  an  answer,  or  even 
causing  a  suspension  of  his  snoring,  he  walked  softly  to 
where  he  lay,  and  yelled  loudly  in  his  ear  these  startling 
words : 

"I  pronounce  you  man  and  wife!" 

"Hello!  stop!  stop!"  cried  Nap,  bouncing  up,  and 
then  tumbling  down  on  the  floor.  "  I  won't  have  her  !  I 
don't  consent!"  he  continued,  as  he  scrambled  toward  the 
door,  where  the  hot  rays  of  the  bright  sun  were  pouring 
in,  unintercepted  by  the  presence  of  any  object. 

"What's  the  matter  with  you?"  asked  Jack. 

"  The  matter  !  Haven't  they  married  us,  in  spite  of  all 
I  could  do  to  prevent  it?" 

"Have  they?  Where's  the  bride?  Where's  the  ma- 
gistrate?" 

"  Sure  enough,  where  are  they  ?"  exclaimed  Nap, 
glancing  round.  "  I'm  sure  I  heard  some  one  pronounce 
the  fatal  words,  and  I  thought  I  had  Polly  by  the  hand." 

"Nonsense,  Nap;  it  was  the  counter-brush,  and  it  is 
still  in  your  hand.  You  were  dreaming.  But  iiow  that 
you  are  awake,  you  must  know  we  are  going  to  commence 
taking  an  inventory  forthwith,  and  Joseph  wishes  you  to 
weigh  the  iron,  the  castings,  and  the  sugar  and  coffee  in 
the  other  room." 

"Very  well.  I'd  rather  do  that  or  any  thing  else  than 
have  such  terrible  dreams.  But  still  I  don't  know.  Jack, 
why  I  should  be  so  much  frightened  at  the  idea  of  marrying 


32  LIFE    AND    ADVENTURES 

Pollj  Hopkins.  She's  not  ugly.  Yet,  you  know,  even 
when  one  has  been  ill-treated  by  his  first  love,  he  can't 
love  any  other  girl  for  a  long  time." 

<'Iknow  that  very  well,"  was  Jack's  assenting  reply, 
while  his  thoughts  reverted  to  the  one  he  had  left  behind 
him. 

The  young  men  worked  slowly.  There  was  no  necessity 
for  being  in  a  hurry.  At  the  end  of  a  few  days  the  ope- 
ration was  completed,  and  Joseph  declared  himself  satisfied 
with  the  result.  He  then  made  another  visit  to  his  lady- 
love and  married  her. 

During  the  days  of  solitude  that  now  often  occurred,  for 
whole  days  often  passed  away  without  more  than  one  or 
two  customers  being  in  town,  Nap  employed  his  idle  time 
in  a  correspondence  with  Molly  Brook.  In  reply  to  his 
voluminous  letters,  he  received  a  brief  note,  equivocal  and 
unsatisfactory  in  its  expressions.  This  treatment  roused 
the  lion's  spirit  which  had  so  long  lain  dormant  within  his 
capacious  breast.  He  resolved  to  make  a  large  fortune. 
Hitherto  he  had  supposed  he  might  bie  contented  with  what 
was  merely  termed  a  fortune.  But  now  it  should  be  a 
large  one.  And  it  was  his  intention  to  constrain  Molly 
to  manifest  a  more  obliging  disposition.  As  yet  he  had 
not  supposed  it  possible,  under  any  circumstances,  for  him 
to  make  overtures  to  any  other  damsel.  In  pursuance  of 
his  ambitious  determination,  he  gave  fifty  dollars  for  some 
forty  acres  of  land  situated  on  the  river  bottom  about 
twenty  miles  above  Tyre.  And  upon  this  alluvial  tract, 
densely  covered  with  immense  forest-trees,  workmen  were 
soon  after  employed  in  the  erection  of  a  rough  wooden 
storehouse,  and  in  clearing  away  the  vines  and  bushes 
where  it  was  designed  to  lay  out  the  streets.  Nap,  although 
his  purchase  of  the  land  was  much  laughed  at  in  the 
countrv,  considered  himself  a  rich  man  the  moment  the 
deed  was  executed.  And  after  some  reading,  and  no  little 
cogitation,  he  bestowed  a  ridiculous  name  upon  his  town. 
It  was  Venice,  and  he  was  to  be  a  merchant  prince,  if  not 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  33 

doge.  Late  in  the  fall  it  was  his  intention  to  begin  busi- 
ness on  his  own  account. 

"When  no  customers  were  ^'in  town"  to  occupy  the 
attention  of  the  young  men,  they  sometimes  amused  them- 
selves firing  at  a  target,  or  catching  huge  catfish  down  at 
the  steamboat  landing.  And  they  partook  of  other  enjoy- 
ments. Fruits  and  melons  grew  in  great  abundance  in  the 
vicinity,  and  were  most  delicious.  No  country  produces 
them  in  greater  perfection.  Of  course  they  Avere  brought  to 
the  store  every  day  and  presented  to  the  young  merchants. 
The  merchant  in  a  new  country  is  always  an  influential 
character,  and  every  thing  good  and  desirable  is  laid  at  his 
feet.  Our  young  men  did  not  spare  these  luxuries  of  the 
season,  during  the  prolonged  absence  of  Joseph.  They 
weffi,  however,  ultimately  to  pay  dearly  for  them. 

But  that  which  afforded  them  the  most  exquisite  delight 
was  their  moonlight  rambles,  and  interchange  of  romantic 
cogitations.  The  sky  seemed  to  be  of  a  deeper  blue  and 
the  moonlight  of  a  greater  brilliance  in  Missouri  than  else- 
where. And  they  enjoyed  themselves.  They  traversed 
the  roads,  and  became  familiar  with  all  the  deer-paths  in 
the  vicinity.  Sometimes  they  conversed  upon  the  incidents 
of  the  past,  in  their  still  beloved  Kentucky,  and  formed 
gigantic  projects  for  the  future.  But  always,  when  their 
fortunes  were  made,  they  concurred  entirely  in  the  pur- 
pose of  returning  to  the  cherished  homes  of  their  child- 
hood, and  after  first  making  their  mistresses  undergo  the 
penance  of  some  mortification  and  delay,  then  to  marry 
them. 

It  was  during  such  rambles  and  confidential  intercom- 
munication of  thoughts  as  these,  the  young  men  had 
observed  that  several  fine  deer  were  in  the  nightly  habit  of 
meeting  them  near  the  centre  of  a  grove  of  oak  saplings, 
through  which  one  of  the  narrow  paths  they  traversed 
wound  its  serpentine  way.  For  several  evenings  in  suc- 
cession, at  the  same  hour,  and  near  the  same  locality, 
they  were  confronted  by  this  promenading  company  of 


34  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

browsing  bucks.  The  deer  would  suffer  the  young  men  to 
approach  within  sixty  feet  of  them,  and  then  leap  aside 
into  the  bushes,  showing  the  white  portion  of  their  tails  and 
snorting  loudly. 

When  this  had  been  repeated  several  times.  Jack  con- 
ceived the  idea  of  adding  some  fine  venison  to  the  luxuries 
he  was  in  the  daily  habit  of  enjoying.  So  he  and  Nap 
formed  a  plan  which  they  thought  must  result  in  the  death 
of  a  buck.  At  that  season,  the  flesh  of  the  buck  is  pecu- 
liarly tender  and  deliciously  flavoured.  Their  horns  are 
soft,  and  their  broad  fat  backs  are  covered  with  short  red 
hair.  So  one  day  they  informed  Mrs.  Black  of  their 
intention  to  provide  her  with  a  royal  haunch  of  venison 
some  time  during  the  ensuing  evening.  The  incredulous 
lady  merely  smiled,  and  said  she  would  be  much  indebted 
to  them  if  they  succeeded  in  performing  their  promise. 

At  early  twilight,  the  young  men,  one  armed  with  a 
rifle,  and  the  other  with  an  old  musket  charged  with  buck- 
shot, set  out  on  their  bloody  mission.  When  they  reached 
the  vicinity  of  the  grove,  which  was  not  more  than  two 
hundred  yards  in  length,  and  much  less  in  width,  they 
separated,  Jack  making  a  detour  for  the  purpose  of  entering 
the  wood  by  the  narrow  path  at  the  farther  extremity, 
while  Nap  was  to  penetrate  it  at  the  opposite  point.  Thus 
they  were  to  guard  both  ends  of  the  path  which  traversed  the 
grove.  When  arrived  at  the  point  agreed  upon,  they  were 
to  conceal  themselves  and  await  the  approach  of  the  deer. 

Nap  had  penetrated  the  grove  some  thirty  paces,  when 
he  halted  behind  a  tree  of  somewhat  larger  dimensions  than 
the  rest  in  the  vicinity,  and  awaited  the  event.  Jack  did 
the  same  at  the  other  end  of  the  grove. 

For  more  than  an  hour  the  young  men  awaited  the  coming 
of  the  deer  in  their  silent  coverts.  No  sounds  were  heard 
but  the  cries  of  the  whippoorwill,  the  hooting  of  an  owl, 
and  the  occasional  howling  of  a  wolf  in  the  distance.  Still, 
for  a  long  time  they  did  not  doubt  that  the  party  of  bucks 
would  as  usual  cross  their  path. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  35 

In  the  mean  time,  however,  the  sky  became  slightly 
overcast  by  light,  dappled  clouds,  and  it  was  difficult  for 
the  eye  to  penetrate  more  than  a  few  paces  along  the 
crooked  path.  Besides,  it  was  in  many  places  obscured 
by  overhanging  hazel-bushes  and  the  spreading  branches 
of  the  trees.' 

''  If  they  were  to  come  now,  I  couldn't  see  well  enough 
to  shoot  them,"  soliloquized  Nap.  ''I  will  get  up  in  the 
tree.     That  is  the  best  position." 

He  did  so.  The  tree  forked  some  seven  feet  from  the 
ground,  and  there  he  sat,  with  his  musket  "Scross  his  knees, 
striving  to  trace  the  windings  of  the  path  dimly  seen 
beneath.  But  the  intervening  vines  and  foliage  of  the 
bushes,  together  with  the  deepening  obscurity  above,  ren- 
dered his  vision  quite  as  indistinct  as  it  had  been  when  he 
stood  upon  the  ground.  Yet  he  determined  to  remain 
where  he  was,  thinking  several  times  he  distinguished  the 
approach  of  the  deer,  and  knowing  that  if  they  did  not 
leave  the  path  they  usually  traversed,  they  must  pass 
within  reach  of  the  muzzle  of  his  gun. 

Jack  had  hitherto  met  with  no  bettor  success,  and  even 
despaired  before  Nap  did  of  seeing  the  game.  He  recol- 
lected that  upon  mentioning  their  project  to  an  old  hunter 
during  the  day,  he  had  been  informed  that  the  deer  could 
discover  a  man  by  the  smell  as  easily  as  they  could  dis- 
tinguish him  by  the  eye  or  the  ear ;  and  as  the  wind  had 
changed  f^om  the  point  it  had  been  recently  blowing, 
it  was  probable  the  bucks  would  walk  that  night  in  some 
other  direction.  Hence,  after  waiting  until  the  arrival  of 
the  time  when  they  were  in  the  habit  of  confronting  the 
deer,  and  finding  no  indications  of  their  presence  in  the 
vicinity,  he  placed  his  rifle  on  his  shoulder,  and  strolled 
along  the  path  in  the  direction  of  Nap. 

It  was  the  approach  of  Jack  which  had  been  detected 
by  the  ear  of  Nap,  and  which  he  feH  more  and  more  con- 
vinced must  be  the  deer  1  He  cocked  his  gun,  and  pointing 
the  muzzle  in  the  direction  of  the  sound  of  Jack's  feet. 


86  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

now  heard  quite  distinctly,  prepared  to  fire  upon  the  first 
movement  his  eye  might  detect. 

Jacl^,  not  supposing  Nap  had  penetrated  so  far  into  the 
grove,  was  altogether  ignorant  of  his  dangerous  proximity. 
Nevertheless  the  clicking  sound  attending  the  cocking  of 
the  gun  up  in  the  fork  of  the  tree  had  not  escaped  his  ear, 
and  it  caused  him  to  pause  abruptly.  Upon  cas'ting  his 
eyes  upward,  he  beheld  the  indistinct  outlines  of  his  friends 
form  ;  but  instead  of  recognising  him,  partly  hidden  as  he 
was  by  the  pendent  leaves  that  hung  between,  it  flashed 
upon  his  mind  that  he  stood  in  the  presence  of  a  bear  ! 
And  after  the  first  tremor  of  excitement  subsided  a  little, 
he  prepared  to  take  a  steady  aim  at  his  victim. 

Thus  the  two  frinds  were  unconsciously  taking  deliberate 
aim  at  each  other,  and  both  with  their  fingers  on  the  fatal 
triggers  !  But  as  they  were  now  motionless,  each  awaiting 
sonle  movement  which  might  reveal  the  other  more  dis- 
tinctly, there  was  a  long  pause.  Finally,  being  impatient 
to  fire,  and  mutually  convinced  from  the  proximity  of  the 
objects  they  were  aiming  at,  that  there  was  no  probability 
of  missing  the  marks,  it  occurred  to  them  both  at  the  same 
instant  that,  still  holding  their  guns  to  their  shoulders, 
they  would  venture  to  cough  slightly,  and  see  what  effect 
it  would  produce.  Upon  the  slightest  movement  they 
intended  to  fire. 

They  did  so.     Their  astonishment  may  be  imagined. 

<' Why,  you  ain't  a  buck  !"  exclaimed  Nap.  ' 

"  Nor  you  a  bear !"  replied  Jack,  uncocking  his  gun, 
and  lowering  the  muzzle  as  he  stepped  forth  in  full  view. 

<'No!  don't  shoot — for  mercy's  sake!"  cried  Nap, 
sliding  down  to  the  ground  as  quickly  and  as  heavily  as 
even  a  bear  might  have  done. 

"  I  was  very  neai  shooting  you.  Nap :  I  had  a  bead  on 
you,  and  my  finger  on  the  trigger.  If  you  had  moved 
hand  or  foot  instead  of  coughing,  I  should  have  killed 

you." 

Nap  had  sunk  down  beside  the  path,  and  did  not  hear 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  37 

the  CGnclusion  of  the  speech.  He  had  fainted.  For  a 
long  time  Jack's  efforts  to  produce  animation  were  unsuc- 
cessful. At  length,  some  water  brought  from  a  brook  in 
his  hat  restored  his  friend  to  consciousness. 

That  was  their  first  hunting  adventure.  As  thej  re- 
turned side  by  side  to  the  store,  scarcely  a  word  was 
exchanged  between  them.  They  were  occupied  with  their 
own  fearful  thoughts.  Both  of  them,  if  they  had  fired  at 
the  same  moment,  might  have  been  slain,  and  then  in  all  pro- 
bability another  "fatal  duel"  would  have  been  chronicled. 
They  might  have  grown  angry  at  each  other  as  they 
walked  silently  homeward,  for  presuming  to  point  the  mur- 
derous tubes  as  they  did;  but  then  the  thought  that  both 
had  offended  in  the  same  manner,  constantly  recurred  to 
them,  and  each  had  to  acquit  his  friend  on  the  same  plea 
that  vindicated  himself.  Yet  it  was  one  of  those  unpre- 
meditated afi'airs  such  as  they  mutually  hoped  might  never 
again  occur. 

Their  taciturnity  continued  after  their  arrival  at  the 
store.  Nap  made  his  pallet  in  one  room,  and  Jack  in  the 
other.  The  rays  of  moonlight  streaming  through  the 
unshuttered  windows,  rendered  the  igniting  of  a  candle 
unnecessary. 

"Now,  Nap,"  said  Jack,  when  they  had  thrown  them- 
selves down  on  their  couches,  the  partition  door  between 
them  being  always  open,  "  I  think  your  infernal  snoring 
won't  disturb  me.  If  I  am  not  mistaken,  you  will  not  be 
able  to  sleep  much  before  morning." 

"  You  still  insist  upon  it  that  I  snore  ;  but  I  have  some- 
times doubted  it,"  said  Nap.  "I  have  often  thought  of 
getting  Tom  Black  to  come  over  and  sit  up  beside  my  bed, 
and  give  me  his  candid  opinion.  I  know  he  never  jests 
No  matter  ;  sleep  on  ;  I'll  not  annoy  you  to-night." 

"  Thank  you.  I  thought  not.  But  what  will  you  do  ? 
What  will  you  think  about  ?" 

"  Molly  Brook  !  0,  Jack,  just  to  think  !  Here  we  are, 
tender  young  men,  a  thousand  miles  from  home,  lying  on 


88  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

our  backs,  and  the  solemn  moon  playing  through  the  cran- 
nies and  streaming  its  light  on  our  pale  faces.  The  great 
<mad  Missouri,'  like  a  muddy  eel,  a  mile  broad  and  a 
continent  in  length,  crawling  for  ever  past  our  feet  !  The 
whippoorwill  wailing  down  in  the  dark  valley,  through 
which  Mr.  Black's  spring-branch  is  running;  and  ever 
and  anon  the  wolf  is  heard  howling  in  the  river  bottom. 
The  katydid" . 

u  Why,  Nap  !"  exclaimed  Jack,  starting  up  on  his  elbow, 
"you  are  growing  romantic  and  poetical." 

"  I  know  it.     How  can  I  help  it  ?     I'm  homesick." 

"  Homesick  !     Is  there  any  romance  in  that  ?" 

<'  Lots  of  it ;  and  love  too." 

"  Love  !  Oh,  you  said  you  would  think  of  Molly.  But 
to  your  figure.     The  katydid" 

"  That's  a  typification  of  Molly — only  Molly  didn't  do 
what  Katy  did.  Her  cousin  Kate  married  Oliver  Hodge, 
because  his  father  had  a  fine  farm — and  I,  poor  me !  am 
driven  a  wild  wanderer  into  solitary  exile." 

«'  Not  solitary.  Nap.  I  am  with  you,  as  well  as  the 
moon,  the  continental  eel,  the  whippoorwill,  the  wolves,  and 
the  katydid.     Is  there  no  comfort  in  that?" 

"-  Oh  yes, — but  it's  all  dashed  down  again,  and  made  a 
torment,  when  I  think  how^  near  I  was  losing  you  to-night. 
My  gracious!  Suppose  my  gun  had  gone  ofi"!  "What 
would  I  have  done  then?" 

«'  I'll  tell  you.  You  would  probably  have  lain  a  corpse 
at  the  foot  of  the  tre^,  with  a  bullet  through  your  brain. 
I  had  a  fine  aim  r4  the  centre  of  your  head,  for  I  was 
certain  it  could  be  nothing  else  than  a  bear's  head." 

"True,  Jack.  Don't  think  of  it.  Let  us  promise 
never  to  m^^ntion  the  occurrence  ;  never  even  to  think  of  it 
again." 

"  Very  well.  I'm  sure  it  would  frighten  my  mother  to 
hear  of  it  a  year  hence." 

"  To  be  sure  it  would,  and  Kate  Frost  too.  Your  Katy 
that  didn't,  as  well  as  my  Molly.     I  wonder  what  Molly 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  39 

would  say,  and  how  she  would  look,  if  she  were  to  hear 
of  it  ?  Jack,  you  must  let  me  WTite  an  account  of  the 
transaction  to  my  mother.  I  will  get  her  to  read  it  to 
Kate  and  Molly,  and  then  write  me  how  they  bear  it. 
What  do  you  say?" 

Jack  said  nothing.  He  was  asleep.  If  he  did  not 
snore,  he  breathed  heavily,  and  occasionally  uttered  a 
groan  in  his  fitful  slumber. 

Nap  did  not  disturb  him;  but  finding  it  impossible  to 
sleep  himself,  continued  the  indulgence  of  his  own  teeming 
thoughts  and  half-coherent  images.  Thus  he  lay  and 
tossed  from  one  side  to  the  other  of  his  couch  until  late  in 
the  night. 

The  wolf  ventured  to  approach  within  a  few  paces  of  the 
door,  and  there  uttered  his  discordant  howl.  The  whip- 
poorwill  alighted  on  the  roof  of  the  house,  and  mocked 
him  with  its  monotonous  note.  The  moon  sank  down 
sadly,  throwing  her  horizontal  streams  of  fading  light 
athwart  the  recumbent  young  men.  Th«  one  troubled  by 
unpleasant  visions  in  his  slumber,  and  the  other  startled 
by  the  fancies  of  his  waking  dreams. 

But  all  within  was  still,  and  silent  as  the  grave,  save 
the  chirp  of  the  cricket,  and  the  tick  of  the  beetle,  known 
as  the  death-watch. 

It  was  at  such  a  moment,  when  Nap,  who  had  for  some 
time  been  lying  without  any  resemblance  of  animation, 
sprang  up  suddenly  and  ran  to  the  corner  of  the  room  in 
which  the  guns  had  been  placed.  He  seized  them,  one 
after  the  other,  and  hastily  examining  the  locks,  burst 
forth  into  a  hearty  fit  of  laughter.  He  drew  forth  the 
ramrods  and  plunged  them  down  the  barrels,  and  the 
result  produced  a  more  boisterous  cachinnatory  explosion 
than  ever.  He  then  replaced  them,  and  danced  a  hearty 
jig  upon  the  floor.  The  whippoorwill  flew  away,  and  the 
wolf  vanished  mutely  in  the  dark  bushes.  Even  the  cricket 
and  the  beetle  were  heard  no  more. 


40  '  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

^<  Nap  !  Nap !  What  in  the  world  is  the  matter  with 
you  ?     Are  you  crazy  ?" 

<'No,  Jack,  but  a  little  wild." 

"  Wild  ?     What  made  you  so  ?" 

"Joy." 

"Joy?" 

"Yes.  Don't  you  recollect  we  intended  to  wash  out 
our  guns  before  supper,  that  we  might  go  on  the  hunt  as 
soon  as  we  got  back  from  Mr.  Black's,  and  that  I  got  the 
tow  and  the  water  ?" 

"  Yes.  And  didn't  you  wash  them  out  while  I  was 
selling  the  cloth  to  Colonel  Miller?" 

"No,  indeed.  For  when  you  were  waiting  on  the 
colonel,  didn't  Burton  Lawless  buy  a  bushel  of  salt  and  a 
long-handled  skillet  of  me  in  the  wareroom  ?  Didn't  you 
see  me  charge  them  in  the  blotter?" 

"Yes.     Then  the  guns  were  not  cleaned?" 

"  No, — neither  were  they  loaded.     Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !" 

"And  so  a  brace  of  fools  went  out  to  kill  game  with 
empty  guns !" 

"  Good  !  Oh,  I'm  rejoiced  to  the  heart.  I'm  not  home- 
sick, now ;  and  I'll  sleep  as  calmly  as  an  infant.  We  were 
in  no  danger,  after  all.  And  yet  we  were  frightened  as 
much  as  if  we  had  made  a  narrow  escape." 

And  Nap  did  sleep.  And  he  snored  tremendously,  while 
Jack,  vexed  and  suffering  with  aching  limbs,  for  he  had 
not  been  quite  well  for  several  days,  fruitlessly  strove  to 
regain  his  lost  repose.  Near  the  dawn  of  day  he  was 
seized  Avith  a  slight  ague.  He  called  to  Nap  to  throw 
more  blankets  on  him.  But  if  Nap's  sonorous  organ,  now 
in  full  blast,  did  not  disturb  his  own  slumber,  it  was 
absurd  in  Handy  to  suppose  his  cries  might  awake  him. 
So  he  ceased  the  attempt  in  despair,  and,  ill  as  ho  was, 
and  as  had  been  predicted  by  Mr.  Black  when  he  saw  the 
young  men  eating  immoderate  quantities  of  fruit,  and 
indulging  in  romantic  moonlight  walks  through  the  woods, 
he  had  to  help  himself  in  the  best  manner  he  could.     The 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  41 

whole  stock  in  trade  of  woollens  was  brought  in  requisition; 
and  although  he  was  almost  smothered  under  the  Aveight, 
yet  the  desired  circulation  in  the  extremities  of  his  limbs 
could  not  be  produced.  He  shivered  and  groaned  for 
many  minutes,  and  then  he  was  assailed  by  a  scorching 
fever.  The  mountain  of  wool  was  overturned  and  tumbled 
down ;  even  the  sheet  w^as  cast  aside ;  the  front-door  ^Ys.s 
flung  wide  open  ;  the  pitcher  was  emptied  of  its  contents  ; 
and  a  large  fan  snatched  from  the  shelf  was  industriously 
used, — but  the  heat  remained  unassuaged,  and  the  pain  in 
his  head  knew  no  diminution. 

When  Nap  awoke  in  the  morning,  the  slanting  rays  of 
the  sun  w^ere  pouring  though  the  door  and  reaching  mid- 
way across  the  room.  He  looked  in  astonishiiient  at  tho 
blankets  and  other  goods  tumbled  about  in  confusion. 

"Jack!"  cried  he,  <-get  up,  and  see  what  a  deuce  of  a 
scatterment  has  been  made  by  somebody.  Who  opened 
the  door?  We've  been  robbed,  by  jingo  !  Burglars  have 
been  about.  No  I"  he  continued,  finding  the  money  had 
not  been  taken  from  the  desk,  "  the  cash  is  safe.  Do  you 
think  it  could  have  been  a  wolf.  Jack?" 

"I  know  it  was  a  wolf,"  said  Jack,  half  deliriously, 
referring  to  the  howling  that  had  annoyed  him  in  the  night. 

"  But  how  did  he  get  the  door  open  ?  I  put  the  bar  of 
steel  across  it  as  usual." 

"I  opened  it  myself." 

"You  were  very  accommodating,  truly  !  How  did  you 
know  he  wouldn't  eat  a  slice  of  your  ham  ?" 

"  Deuce  take  the  wolf  !  Nap,  please  to  get  a  pitcher  of 
fresh  water.     Water,  water,  blessed  water!" 

"Water?  I'll  bring  some  as  usual  when  we  come  from 
breakfast." 

"  Breakfast !     Pah  !     Don't  mention  it.  Nap," 

"  Why,  what's  the  matter.  Jack  !  Your  face  is  as  red 
as  flannel.     Are  you  not  sick?" 

"I  believe  I  am." 

"You  believe  you  are?     I  Jcnotv  it/'  continued  Nap, 

4-3 


42  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

placing  his  hand  on  his  friend's  forehead.  ''  It  is  the 
confounded  fever  and  ague,  the  disease  of  the  country  they 
warned  us  against." 

<'  Warned  us.  Why  not  warn  it.  What  good  does  it 
do,  warning  a  man  against  the  air  he  breathes  ?  For 
heaven's  sake  get  me  a  pitcher  of  water  !" 

"  I'll  get  Mr.  Black  to  come  over.  He  says  he  can  cure 
the  ague  as  well  as  Dr.  Sappington." 

Nap  went  over  alone  to  the  boarding-house ;  but,  while 
sitting  at  the  breakfast-table,  was  taken  ill  himself.  He 
hastened  back  to  the  store.  Mr.  Brown  promised  to 
follow  him  as  soon  as  he  could  get  ready  his  medicines. 
Nap  found  Jack  sitting  up,  with  his  shirt  torn  from  his 
neck,  waiting  impatiently  for  the  refreshing  water. 

<' Where's  the  pitcher.  Nap?" 

"Mr.  Black  will  fetch  it,"  replied  Nap,  between  his 
chattering  teeth.  His  nose  was  cold  and  tallow-hued,  his 
fingers  purple,  and  his  step  unsteady.  Without  pausing, 
he  gathered  up  the  scattered  blankets,  and  piling  them 
on  his  own  couch,  in  the  room  he  had  occupied  during  the 
night,  burrowed  under  them  in  a  shivering  spasm. 

Jack  sat  still,  and  watched  the  motions  of  his  comrade 
in  silence,  save  the  occasional  utterance  of  a  groan,  which 
was  replied  to  by  a  sighing  yawn. 

"Oh,  I'm  burning  up!"  at  length  he  exclaimed,  re- 
garding the  pile  of  blankets  heaped  upon  Nap,  which  he 
could  discern  through  the'  partition  door. 

"And  durned  if  /  ain't  freezing !"  replied  Nap. 

"  I  say  it's  infernal  hot !  Nobody  can  freeze  in  such 
weather!" 

"  I  swear  it  is  bitter  cold  !" 

"  Come  here,  in  this  room,  and  you'll  find  it  warm 
enough  without  blankets." 

f^  Come  in  this,  and  you'll  not  require  water  to  cool 
you. 

"Water,  water,  water!"  cried  Jack. 

"Fire,  fire,  fire  !"  cried  Nap. 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  43 

"  You  are  saying  it  is  cold,  to  annoy  me,  Nap. 

"You  are  saying  it  is  warm,  to  vex  me.  Jack." 

"  Come,  come,  boys — no  quarrelling,  now  !"  said  Mr. 
Black,  who  entered  just  then,  with  an  ill-suppressed  smile 
on  his  face.     You  are  both  ill ;  but  I'll  cure  you." 

^'  The  water,  Mr.  Black,  if  you  please  !"  cried  Jack. 

"  But  I  don't  please — that  is,  you  shall  not  have  more 
than  a  mouthful.  It  will  make  the  fever  worse.  Here ; 
drink  just  a  spoonful." 

"  Make  a  fire !  Give  me  an  armful  of  hot  bricks,  if 
you  please  !"  cried  Nap. 

"It  don't  please  me,"  said  Mr.  Black ;  "it  would  do 
you  harm.     I  would  rather  give  you  your  sweetheart." 

"Sweetheart!  Don't  talk  to  me  of  sweethearts,"  said 
Nap.  "I  wouldn't  give  a  fig  for  Molly,. now.  They  say 
love  is  incurable.  It's  a  lie.  This  Missouri  ague  can  do 
the  business." 

"Nonsense;  your  love  will  return  like  your  appetite," 
said  Mr.  Black,  pouring  out  his  medicine  in  a  couple  of 
spoons.  "  Here,  drink  this,  both  of  you ;  and  after  it 
has  been  swallowed  tAvo  hours,  each  of  you  must  take  a 
dose  of  calomel.  Measure  it  on  the  point  of  my  knife. 
I  will  lend  it  to  you  to-day.  You'll  both  be  in  the  bushes 
this  evening.  Those  chills  are  nothing  to  men  who  are 
used  to  them.  I've  known  many  a  man  have  an  ague  in 
the  morning,  and  kill  a  deer  in  the  afternoon." 

They  swallowed  the  liquid  he  held  to  their  lips.  Jack 
stipulating  for  another  sip  of  the  water,  and  Nap  begging 
Mr.  Black  to  hold  his  shoulder-blades  in  their  places.  He 
declared  they  would  flap  together  like  a  pigeon's  wings  if 
not  forcibly  held  apart.  But  soon  a  moisture  began  to 
spread  over  the  temples  of  Handy,  and  the  fever  followed 
Nap's  chill.  Nap  then  owned  that  his  room  was  quite 
warm  enough,  and  that  the  blankets  were  equally  as  super- 
fluous to  his  comfort  as  Molly  would  have  been. 

Mr.  Black  remained  with  them  until  the  emetic  had 
produced  the  desired  eff"ect.     The  boys  were  dreadiully  ill 


44  LIFE   AND    ADVENTUEES 

under  its  operation,  ignorantly  supposing  all  the  time 
that  their  new  sufferings  were  occasioned  bj  the  disease, 
and  not  the  remedy.  Mr.  Black  did  not  undeceive  them, 
because  he  had  more  than  once  heard  Jack  say  no  con- 
sideration would  induce  him  knowingly  to  swallow  an 
emetic  ;  and  that  he  would  punish  any  physician  who 
should  venture  to  administer  it  to  him. 

But  it  was  indispensable,  in  Mr.  Black's  estimation,  and 
doubtless  it  contributed  much  in  arresting  the  progress  of 
the  disease. 

Fortunately  there  were  not  many  customers  in  town 
that  day.  The  few  that  came  had  to  be  waited  on  alter- 
nately by  the  debilitated  salesmen ;  but  toward  evening 
both  were  much  better,  and  the  next  day  they  had  vora- 
cious appetites,  and  their  affection  for  their  absent  sweet- 
hearts returned  as  glowingly  as  ever.  Yet  they  had 
several  returns  of  the  chills,  each  less  violent  than  the 
last,  on  alternate  days ;  and,  as  Mr.  Black  had  predicted, 
they  soon  ceased  to  terrify  them. 


CHAPTER  V. 


Adventure  with  Mulroony — Polly  in  the  prairie — Model  Missouri  farm — 
A  pig's  tail  and  a  tomcat. — N.  B.  The  dumb-waiter — A  monkey  cru- 
elly murdered. 

At  the  beginning  of  autumn  there  was  a  great  camp- 
meeting  to  be  held  in  the  vicinity  of  Tyre,  and  it  was 
decided  by  Joseph,  who  had  returned  in  high  spirits  with 
his  bride,  that  both  Jack  and  Nap  should  go  thither  on  an 
electioneering  and  collecting  mission.  As  the  people  were  to 
be  gathered  together  from  the  four  quarters  of  the  county, 
and  from  several  of  the  counties  adjacent,  it  was  no  novel 
thing  in  the  merchant  to  seize  upon  such  occasions  to 
participate  in  the  ceremonies  with  an  eye  to  business. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  40 

But  Joseph  scorned  to  dissemble.  Once  a  zealous  parti- 
cipant in  such  scenes,  his  pride  of  consistency,  if  not  the 
force  of  conviction,  would  have  held  him  fast  in  the  faith. 
His  day  of  salvation  had  not  yet  dawned.  And  so  the 
boys  were  permitted  to  ride  out  to  the  encampment,  having 
permission  to  remain  on  the  ground  as  long  as  they  might 
be  disposed  to  tarry  there. 

Nap's  impatience  to  be  at  a  Missouri  camp-meeting  could 
brook  no  delay.  He  could  not  wait  until  the  morning 
fixed  upon  for  going  thither ;  and  it  was  arranged  that  he 
should  depart  in  the  evening  alone,  to  be  followed  by  Jack 
the  next  day.  Jack  had  to  post  the  books,  which  might 
keep  him  at  the  desk  until  late  in  the  night. 

Nap  set  out  alone,  humming  a  hymn.  He  was  a  famous 
singer,  and  could  be  easily  heard  a  mile  in  the  woods. 
And  it  was  the  knowledge  of  this  fact,  perhaps,  which  had 
caused  brothers  Steele,  Weighton,  and  Nave  to  press  hira 
so  flatteringly  to  be  present  on  the  camp-ground.  But  he 
had  not  been  gone  more  than  twenty  minutes,  before  Le 
was  seen  returning  at  full  speed,  lashing  and  spurring  his 
fleet  horse  at  every  leap. 

The  clatter  of  hoofs  attracted  the  attention  of  the 
Handys. 

"  That's  Nap's  brown  horse,"  said  Jack. 

"And  that  is  Nap  on  him,"  replied  Joseph,  looking  up 
the  road,  with  a  hand  over  his  eyes. 

"  Something  has  frightened  his  horse,  surely." 

"  I  think  it  more  likely  that  the  rider  has  been  fright- 
ened." 

When  Nap  arrived  in  front  of  the  store,  he  sprang  to 
the  earth  and  ran  into  the  house  precipitately,  and  panted 
excessively. 

"What's  the  matter.  Nap?"  exclaimed  Joseph,  following 
him  into  the  farther  room. 

"Has  any  thing  happened  to  you?"  asked  Jack, 

"Yes.     I  saw  him — I  met  him" 

"Who?  who?" 


46  LIFE  AND   ADVENTURES 

"The  wild" 


"A  bear?  a  panther?"  demanded  Jack,  quickly,  and 
taking  up  his  gun. 

*'No — 'twas  the  desperate  wild  Irishman,  Mulroony, 
whose  face  you  split  open  with  the  bottle.  He  wanted  to 
kill  me" 

«'  How  do  you  know?"  asked  Joseph. 

"  I  saw  it  in  his  devilish  smile.  And  when  I  turned  my 
horse,  he  whipped  after  me.  But  there  is  no  animal  on 
this  side  of  the  river  that  can  overtake  mine.  See  what 
it  is  to  be  a  judge  of  a  horse — he  saved  my  life." 

"  Jack,  get  on  your  horse  and  go  with  him — I  will  post 
the  books,"  said  Joseph,  perceiving  his  brother's  anxiety 
to  be  in  the  prairie. 

As  Jack  and  Nap  rode  away,  Nap  denied  that  he  had 
been  scared.  He  declared  that  he  had  only  hastened  back 
to  get  some  weapon  with  which  to  defend  himself. 

Jack,  as  usual,  had  his  rifle  with  him.  Perhaps  fifty 
men  who  attended  the  camp-meeting — which  was  to  last  a 
week — carried  their  rifles  along.  It  is  the  custom  in  the 
far-western  States.  While  some  are  singing  and  praying, 
others  are  procuring  venison.  Besides,  as  Jack  and  Nap 
had  a  number  of  accounts  along  with  them  to  collect,  if 
possible,  and  an  unlimited  leave  of  absence,  they  might, 
in  their  long  rides,  after  departing  from  the  camp-ground, 
have  some  use  for  the  gun. 

After  emerging  into  the  glorious  prairie,  and  riding 
some  minutes  along  the  smooth,  dry  road,  the  young  men 
entered  one  of  those  solitary  groves  scattered  at  pleasant 
intervals  over  the  fertile  plains.  The  road  was  just  wide 
enough  for  carriages  to  pass.  On  either  side  a  dense 
growth  of  hazel,  plum,  and  persimmon  bushes,  entangled 
with  grape-vines,  rendered  any  attempt  at  penetration  for 
man  or  beast  seemingly  impracticable. 

It  was  just  where  the  road  made  a  slight  angle,  that 
Nap,  always  looking  ahead  since  his  late  unexpected  meet- 
ing wuth  the  Irishman,  perceived  that  desperate  worthy 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  47 

again,  not  fifty  paces  ahead,  seated  quietly  on  his  horse, 
which  stood  drinking  in  the  centre  of  a  large  transparent 
rivulet  that  ran  sparkling  across  the  road. 

Jack  perceived  him,  and  instantly  recognised  his  enemy. 
Resolving  not  to  remove  his  eyes  from  Mulroony,  he  did 
not  turn  his  head  toward  Nap,  who  was  several  paces  in 
the  rear,  upon  hearing  a  plunging  noise  behind.  He  sup- 
posed it  was  a  deer  leaping  through  the  bushes. 

The  Irishman  had  his  rifle  on  his  shoulder,  and  a  cold 
chill  was  experienced  by  Jack  when  his  foe  raised  his 
head  and  gazed  steadfastly  at  him  from  beneath  his  'dark 
brow.  They  were  now  not  exceeding  twenty  paces  asunder. 
It  would  not  do  to  flee  away,  as  Nap  had  done ;  yet  he  was 
conscious  of  the  sensation  of  fear.  Jack  knew,  however, 
that  if  it  must  come  to  the  arbitrament  of  arms,  he  was 
deservedly  a  famous  shot.  Having  made  up  his  mind  that 
there  was  no  other  alternative  but  to  meet  his  deadly  foe, 
in  that  narrow  road,  his  subsequent  conduct  was  the  result 
of  an  unerring  instinct  which  had  more  than  once  extri- 
cated him  in  moments  of  sudden  peril.  He  checked  his 
horse  and  dismounted,  and  pretended  to  adjust  the  girth. 
But  he  so  arranged  the  animal — (apparently  by  accident, 
though  in  reality  altogether  by  design) — that  while  there 
should  be  ample  room  for  his  adversary  to  pass,  his  horse's 
body  would  at  the  same  time  be  interposed  between  them. 
He  kept  his  eye  fixed  on  the  Irishman,  and  his  rifle  at  rest  on 
his  left  arm,  while  he  held  the  breech  and  lock  in  his  right 
hand.  His  foe  did  not  seem  to  have  any  inclination  to 
turn  and  fly.  But  he  hesitated,  when  his  horse  was  done 
drinking.  He  had  once  received  a  blow  from  Jack's  hand 
which  had  wellnigh  sufliced  him.  Perhaps  he  was  specu- 
lating about  the  chances  of  receiving  further  injury,  rather 
than  meditating  vengeance.  This  idea  occurred  to  Jack, 
and  caused  him  to  act  with  more  decision.  He  would 
have  been  justified  had  he  killed  him,  for  it  was  notorious 
that  he  still  threatened  to  take  his  life.  But  Jack  had  no 
such  intention.     His  purpose  was  only  to  escape  with  an 


48  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

unperforated  skin.  Assuming  as  much  fierceness  as  possible, 
the  compressed  his  lips,  and  still  kept  his  eye  fixed  upon 
the  Irishman.  At  length  the  latter  touched  his  horse  with 
the  spur,  and  advanced  very  slowly.  His  gun  was  still 
on  his  shoulder,  but  his  hand  was  on  the  lock  and  guard. 
When  he  was  within  about  five  paces  of  Handy,  his  ear 
distinguished  the  clicking  of  the  young  man's  trigger,  for 
he  was  setting  it  preparatory  for  action.  The  Irishman 
paused  an  instant.  His  gaze  became  unsteady,  and  his 
head  drooped  slightly,  so  that  his  wide-brimmed  straw  hat 
almost  obscured  his  eyes.  Jack  saw  that  he  was  pale, 
and  that  the  hand  which  held  the  reins  was  trembling. 
Although  it  was  palpable  he  was  a  coward,  yet  he  was 
undoubtedly  a  dangerous  man,  and  would,  if  an  opportu- 
nity offered,  shoot  an  enemy  in  the  back.  And  another 
chill  ran  up  Jack's  spine,  when  he  perceived,  for  the  first 
time,  that  Nap  had  vanished. 

"  What  are  you  going  to  do?"  asked  the  Irishman,  in 
a  tremulous  tone.  Jack  had  been  unable  to  utter  a  word 
himself.  He  felt  that  he  could  not  speak  without  betray- 
ing great  agitation  and  alarm.  So  he  merely  responded 
by  a  motion  of  the  head  for  him  to  pass. 

''  Do  you  intend  to  shoot  me  ?"  continued  the  subdued 
foe. 

Again  Jack  motioned  for  him  to  pass,  and  this  time 
with  greater  energy  and  impatience.  The  bully  now 
looked  imploringly  in  the  face  of  the  young  man,  which 
was  plainly  understood  to  be  a  petition  for  mercy. 
Treacherous  himself,  he  feared  he  could  not  safely  rely 
upon  the  honour  and  forbearance  of  others.  So  he  rode 
on  very  slowly,  his  face  still  turned  toward  Jack,  who  had 
the  advantage  of  position.  As  he  rubbed  past,  Jack 
turned  slowly,  keeping  his  eyes  upon  him,  knotting  that  the 
first  to  fire,  if  shots  were  to  be  exchanged,  would  be  the 
victor.  But  his  enemy  passed  on,  and  as  he  got  farther 
away,  his  gait  was  increased.  Presently  he  put  spurs  to 
his  horse,  and  hastily  disappeared. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  49 

<«  Nap  !"  cried  Jack,  "  where  are  you  ?" 

"  Here  I  am,"  replied  Nap,  not  more  than  two  rods  off, 
in  the  vines  and  bushes. 

"  Nap,  you  always  were  a  despicable  coward,  and  always 
will  be." 

This  was  followed  by  a  tremendous  struggle  in  the 
bushes,  and  the  next  moment  Nap  succeeded  in  urging  his 
horse  back  into  the  road,  bleeding  from  the  many  scratches 
he  had  received.  Nap  himself  soon  followed,  holding  by 
the  tail  of  his  steed. 

«  That  was  a  very  unkind  remark,  a  very  harsh  obser- 
vation of  yours.  Jack,"  said  he,  "after  what  I  have  just 
been  doing  for  you." 

"What  have  you  been  doing  for  me,  but  hiding  from 
me!" 

"I  saved  your  life  !" 

"Pray  tell  me  how." 

"  I  will.  When  the  fellow  saw  us,  I  perceived  he  had 
his  gun" 

"No  doubt,  no  doubt !" 

"But  listen.  Being  behind  you,  he  could  not  see  that/ 
had  none.  He  merely  got  an  imperfect  glimpse  of  me. 
Then  I  plunged  into  an  ambush.    Don't  you  understand  ?" 

"  Oh  yes,  perfectly  !" 

"  No,  you  don't !  I  see  you  don't.  But  you  must  learn 
that  an  experienced  woodsman  never  follows  a  rattlesnake 
into  the  grass.  When  he  loses  sight  of  him,  the  man  is 
careful  to  get  away  from  the  ground  as  quickly  as  possible. 
Well,  the  fellow  having  seen  me,  and  knowing  I  was  in 
concealment,  but  within  shooting  distance  of  him,  and  yet 
ignorant  of  the  fact  that  I  was  unarmed,  determined  to 
have  no  conflict  with  you,  and  so  passed  harmlessly  on." 

"  That  is  hardly  convincing.  Nap.  You  would  make 
me  believe  that  your  absence  inspired  terror  in  his  breast, 
and  that  your  presence  would  have  resulted  in  my  death." 

"Exactly — perhaps  in  the  death  of  both  of  us,  but 
certainly  in  yours." 

5 


50  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"It  won't  do,  Nap  !" 

"  It  will  do,  and  you  will  not  deny  it  when  I  tell  you, 
truly,  that  your  gun  was  not  charged  !  I  recollected,  when 
I  sprang  into  the  bushes,  that  you  had.  not  charged  it 
before  we  set  out,  and  I  knew  it  was  empty  this  morning." 

This  was  true  ;  and  Jack  was  almost  prostrated  with  the 
consciousness  of  the  fact. 

Silently  they  sprang  upon  their  horses,  dashed  through 
the  brook  where  they  had  first  discovered  the  Irishman,  and 
never  paused  until  they  were  a  quarter  of  a  mile  out  in  the 
prairie  on  the  opposite  side.  Then  they  dismounted.  Jack 
being  now  too  feeble  and  unsteady  to  stand.  The  com- 
motion of  his  blood  had  brought  on  a  slight  return  of  the 
ague,  and  he  lay  down  on  his  saddle-blanket,  until  the 
fever  which  ensued  subsided  in  a  measure.  Nap,  in  the 
mean  time,  had  very  deliberately  loaded  the  gun. 

They  were  roused  by  the  trampling  of  an  approaching 
horse,  which  came  from  an  opposite  direction  to  the  one 
upon  which  their  eyes  had  been  mostly  fixed.  L^pon 
turning,  they  perceived  the  rider  was  of  the  feminine 
gender. 

"What's  the  matter?  Why,  it's  you.  Jack  !  How  are 
you,  my  dear  boys?"  exclaimed  she,  checking  her  panting 
horse  suddenly,  and  leaping  to  the  ground.  The  horse 
began  to  graze  about  with  the  others,  after  the  usual  brief 
salutations  with  their  noses.  They  were  all  trained  to  stay 
beside  their  masters  and  mistresses.  And  the  girl,  Polly 
Hopkins,  whom  Nap  and  Jack  had  almost  as  much  feared 
to  meet  (alone)  as  the  desperate  Irishman,  seated  her- 
self beside  the  prostrate  young  man.  But  she  had  no 
rifle,  and  did  not  w^ar  a  threatening  aspect.  Yet  she,  too, 
knew  how  to  use  firearms;  and  so  Nap  slyly  uncapped 
his  tube. 

"What's  the  matter.  Jack?"  she  again  asked. 

"  I  believe  I  had  a  slight  chill." 

"Let  me  see,"  said  she,  feeling  his  pulse.  "You  have 
very  little  fever — very  little  indeed." 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  51 

"  See  if  J  haven't  some,"  said  Nap,  boldly  thrusting  out 
his  hand. 

"  Go  off,  my  dear  !  You  are  not  sick — not  even  love- 
sick," she  continued,  turning  from  him. 

"I  must  get  out  of  the  sun,"  said  Jack,  ««or  I  shall 
have  a  bad  headache." 

"  You  must,  indeed.  Come  along  with  me,  both  of  you. 
I  have  some  medicine  that  will  cure  you.  Jack, — and  will 
"keep  you  well,  husband." 

"  Husband!"  cried  Nap.  "You  still  hold  to  that,  do 
you  ?  Take  care  !  You  may  get  me  in  the  humour,  some 
of  these  days." 

"  The  sooner  the  better.  Say  the  word  now,  if  you 
choose." 

"  Durned  if  she  don't  make  me  tremble,  even  out  here 
by  ourselves !"  said  Nap  to  Jack,  but  he  was  overheard  by 
Polly. 

"  What  are  you  afraid  of  ?  A  girl  nineteen  years  old, 
weighing  just  one  hundred  and  thirty  pounds ;  without 
speck  or  wrinkle;  fair-skinned,  blue-eyed,  and  hair  only 
slightly  auburn  !"  She  might  have  added  an  oval  face,  a 
tall  stature,  and  altogether  a  handsome  persori. 

"  I  ain't  afraid,"  said  Nap,  rather  hesitatingly. 

'<  Then  just  let  Jack  join  our  hands,  and  pronounce  us 
man  and  wife.  That's  a  lawful  wedding  in  Missouri. 
After  that  I  shall  be  yours,  provided  you  treat  me  well. 
That's  all  I  want,  and  it's  what  I'll  have.  Come  now ! 
I'm  in  the  market.     What  do  you  say  ?" 

"Let  me  speak,"  said  Jack,  amused.  "I  pronounce 
you  man  and — Stop,  Nap !  What  are  you  running  away 
for?" 

Nap  had  taken  to  his  heels. 

"Wife  !"  cried  Polly,  laughing  heartily,  and  pursuing 
him. 

"  Keep  off !"  cried  Nap,  halting.  "  I  won't  run  an  inch 
farther.  Stop — don't  put  your  hands  on  me.  I'm  afraid 
of  you — I'm  afraid  of  myself — I'm  afraid  of  Molly  !     You 


52  LIFE  AND   ADVENTURES 

are  prettier  than  Molly,  and  if  I  hadn't  pledged  myself  to 
her,  I  tell  you  candidly  there  would  be  some  danger  of 
my  falling  in  love  with  you." 

"  Pledged !  What  man  ever  yet  cared  for  a  pledge  ? 
Won't  you  break  it,  for  me  ?" 

"  Then  I  might  break  my  pledge  to  you,  for  the  next 
handsome  girl  I  met  with!" 

"If  you  did,  I'd  break  your  neck !  But  come,"  she 
continued,  seizing  his  hand  and  laughing  gayly,  "  let  us 
return  to  Jack.  We've  had  fun  enough  for  one  day,  and 
you  have  a  red  face.  Mount,  Jack,  and  let  us  all  ride  up 
the  country  to  our  house." 

"No,  Polly,  not  to-day.  We  expect  to  see  some  men 
on  business  in  the  opposite  direction." 

"Well,  if  it  must  be  so,  it  must,"  she  replied,  gravely. 
"  But  neither  of  you  must  be  offended  at  my  nonsense  at 
the  store,  or  out  here.  I  get  into  girlish  freaks  some- 
times, and  resolve  to  do  something  that  w^ill  be  talked 
about  and  laughed  at.  My  novels  say  that  fine  ladies  do 
pretty  much  the  same  things  in  the  great  cities  and  grand 
places,  only  in  a  different  way.  They  must  have  dis- 
tinction, and  so  will  I.  I  am  as  free  as  air,  and  inde- 
pendent as  a  swallow.  They  may  call  me  odd,  mad,  if  they 
please ;  but  no  one  ever  dared  to  cast  a  foul  aspersion  on 
my  character.     That  I  should  fearfully  avenge  !" 

This  was  true. 

"Farewell,  Polly,"  said  Jack,  mounting  into  his  saddle. 
"We  will  call  at  your  house  soon.  But  to-night  we  must 
stay  at  Mr.  Townley's,  and  to-morrow  we  go  to  the  camp- 
meeting." 

"  Oh  yes !"  cried  she,  laughing  mockingly,  and  spring- 
ing with  great  agility  upon  her  horse ;  "I  understand : 
you  are  going  there  to  be  nursed  by  Miss  Mary.  You 
are  going,  perhaps,  to  make  a  proposition.  She'll  have 
you." 

"No,  indeed,  Polly;  I  feel  like  anything  else  than  a 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  53 

lover,  now ;  and  besides,  to  tell  you  the  truth,  I  left  my 
sweetheart  behind  me,  as  Nap  did  his." 

"  I  know  it.  Oh,  you  are  astonished  that  I  should  have 
heard  it  before !  I  can  tell  you  her  name.  Kate  Frost. 
We  girls  soon  know  all  about  such  engagements.  And  I 
suppose,  like  Nap,  you  could  not  be  induced  to  violate 
your  engagement  ?  Take  care  !  Mary  may  bewitch  you, 
as  I  intend  to  bewitch  Nap.  Nap  !  I  give  you  fair  warn- 
ing. I  have  a  design  upon  you.  I  will  meet  you  at  the 
camp-meeting.  ^Meet  me,  meet  me  hy  moonlight,  love.'  " 
Saying  this,  or  rather  singing  the  conclusion  of  it,  she 
galloped  away. 

The  young  men  proceeded  at  a  brisk  pace  toward  the 
residence  of  Mr.  Townly,  where,  if  they  were  not  expected 
that  evening,  they  knew  they  were  always  sure  of  having 
a  hearty  welcome. 

"  Jack,"  said  Nap,  after  a  prolonged  silence,  and  check- 
ing his  horse  until  he  fell  into  a  slow  walk,  ''  it  strikes 
me  that  it  would  be  serving  Molly  as  she  deserves,  if  I 
were  to  marry  Polly  Hopkins." 

i' But  how  would  it  be  serving  yourself?"  responded 
Jack,  dryly. 

"Very  well;  I  think  Polly  is  a  very  pretty  girl,  and 
very  spirited." 

<'Very.  That  is,  high  mettled.  Don't  be  a  fool.  Nap, 
and  marry  that  girl.  If  you  do,  you  will  catch  a  Tartar. 
You  are  the  most  susceptible  person  I  ever  met  with  in 
my  life.  When  you  hear  Colonel  Benton  talk  politics  ten 
minutes,  you  turn  politician;  and  although  you  don't 
belong  to  his  party,  you  repeat  his  arguments,  imitate  his 
gestures,  mimic  his  voice,  and  even  reiterate  his  terrific 
denunciations.  And  yet  you  are  a  Whig  in  principle, 
although  you  call  yourself  a  Democrat" 

"  Stop,  Jack — hear  me,"  said  Nap,  letting  the  reins  fall 
on  his  horse's  neck.  With  his  left  hand  he  grasped  a 
white  handkerchief  in  the  centre,  and  waved  the  corners 
gracefully  to  and  fro.     All  the  fingers  of  his  right  hand 

6* 


54  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

were  doubled  up,  excepting  the  middle  one,  which  was 
pointed  stiffly  toward  his  companion.  This  was  in  exact 
imitation  of  the  Rev.  Mr.  Darling,  an  eloquent  preacher 
whom  he  had  recently  heard  at  Tyre.  "  Hear  me,  Jack. 
I  own  that  I  am  a  tariff-man,  and  an  advocate  of  internal 
improvements.  I  believe  in  Adam  Smith  and  Henry  C. 
Carey;  but" 

"  But  what  ?  How  the  deuce,  then,  can  you  be  called  a 
Democrat?" 

"  I'll  tell  you,  confidentially,  as  Mr.  Benton  told  it  to 
me.  I  would  rather  be  the  follower  of  an  irresistible 
monster  than  its  opponent.  I  would  rather  hold  a  mad  bull 
by  the  tail  than  the  horns."  While  Nap  spoke,  his  hand- 
kerchief was  gracefully  waved,  and  the  middle  finger  of 
his  right  hand  pointed  more  stiffly  than  ever. 

Jack  gazed  at  him,  recognising  without  difficulty  the 
gestures  and  even  the  tones  of  the  preacher.  He  was 
aware  that  Nap's  mimicry  was  involuntary,  and  knew  that 
such  habits  were  incurable,  for  they  had  been  practised  by 
him  in  Kentucky.  Hence  he  affected  not  to  mark  the 
ludicrous  finger  pointed  toward  him. 

"But,  Nap,  if  one  calls  himself  a  Democrat,  and  is  yet 
a  Whig  in  principle,  might  he  not  be  deemed  a  hypocrite 
in  politics,  nay,  a  vile  demagogue?" 

"Don't  let  us  talk  politics.  Jack.  That  was  not  the 
subject.     It  was  Polly" 

"The  Tartar?" 

"I  think  not.     She  is  handsome" 


"And  so  is  a  wildcat,  a  panther,  and  a  skunk." 
"  Nonsense.  She  would  soon  become  tame  enough, 
like  other  married  women,  or  I'm  much  mistaken.  But 
then,  truly,  I  am  virtually  pledged  to  Molly  Brook.  In 
the  glow  of  enthusiasm,  or  rather  in  the  zeal  of  admira- 
tion, when  inspired  by  the  presence  of  this  girl,  I  am 
sometimes  tempted  to  break  my  word — but  not  at  other 
times.  If  Molly  were  to  die,  or  to  marry  somebody  else, 
1  aril  sure  1  could  not  resist  Polly  Hopkins ;.  but,  as  it  is, 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  55 

whatever  else  I  may  be  called,  no  one  shall  ever  reproach 
me  for  having  committed  a  dishonourable  action.  I  may- 
be impressible,  indeed  I  am  too  susceptible,  as  you  charge 
me;  but  I  am  honest."  As  Nap  said  this,  he  thrust  for- 
ward his  finger,  and  wiped  his  eyes  with  the  handkerchief 
in  the  other  hand. 

"You  are.  Nap — you  are  !"  said  Jack,  heartily. 

"  Yes,  I  may  be  a  fool  in  a  thousand  other  things — and 
no  doubt  I  am — but  I'll  die  an  honest  man  !"  Here  Nap 
flourished  the  handkerchief  again  before  his  moistened  eyes, 
and  poked  himself  on  the  breast  with  his  middle  finger. 

They  rode  a  mile  farther  in  silence,  which  brought  them 
in  front  of  Mr.  Townly's  house.  The  dogs  came  barking 
at  them  when  they  paused,  but  were  quickly  followed  by 
Mr.  Townly  himself,  who  drove  them  away,  and  requested 
the  young  men  to  dismount.  They  did  so,  and  when  the 
negro  boy  took  charge  of  their  horses,  they  were  about  to 
follow  Mr.  T.  into  the  house ;  but  hearing  him  say  that  his 
wife  and  daughter  were  absent,  and  would  not  be  at  home 
for  an  hour.  Jack  requested  his  host  to  show  him  over  his 
farm.  Both  Jack  and  Nap  had  been  admiring  the  arrange- 
ment of  the  fields,  the  good  condition  of  the  fences,  and 
the  fine  appearance  of  the  stock;' and  having  expressed 
their  admiration,  their  host  took  great  pleasure  in  giving 
them  all  the  information  on  the  subject  they  desired.  As 
they  strode  over  the  premises  they  learned  the  following 
particulars  of  the  preceding  year's  crop  : — Mr.T.  had  sold 
fifteen  tons  of  hemp,  at  ninety  dollars  per  ton ;  five  thou- 
sand pounds  of  bacon,  at  eight  cents  per  pound ;  three 
yoke  of  oxen,  at  sixty  dollars  each — all  equal  to  one  thou- 
sand nine  hundred  and  thirty  dollars,  besides  supporting 
his  family,  numbering,  with  the  negroes,  thirty-one.  There 
were  three  hundred  and  twenty  acres — which  he  had  pur- 
chased originally  for  one  dollar  and  twenty-five  cents  per 
acre — but  which  was  worth  more  than  ten  times  as  mucli 
then,  for  the  place  was  highly  improved,  besides  having  a 
commodious  brick  mansion  on  it. 


56  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

Nap  was  in  raptures,  and  might  easily  have  been  per^ 
suaded  to  become  a  farmer.  He  thought  of  his  host's 
pretty  daughter  Mary — but  then  he  likewise  thought  of 
his  honour. 

Mrs.  Townly  and  her  daughter  Mary  reached  home 
before  Mr.  T.  had  got  through  with  showing  the  young 
men  over  the  farm.  And  when  Nap  and  Jack  entered  the 
house,  they  were  not  only  greeted  by  the  smiles  of  the 
hospitable  ladies,  but  they  beheld  evidences  of  the  good 
cheer  which  had  been  already  provided  for  them. 

Mr.  T.  was  not  a  seeker  of  popularity.  He  wanted  no 
office ;  he  desired  no  praise  from  natural  fools  or  crafty 
fanatics ;  and  he  belonged  to  no  temperance  society,- 
though  strictly  temperate  himself.  He  was  content  to' 
work  for  his  living,  as  God  designed  mankind  to  do.  He 
scorned  to  solicit  subscriptions  to  employ  lazy  temperance 
lecturers,  or  to  lecture  himself,  and  levy  contributions' 
from  a  pack  of  deluded  simpletons.  He  left  that  mode 
of  distinction,  and  of  obtaining  a  beggarly  support,  to  the 
worthless  vagabonds  and  idle  hypocrites  whom  he  heartily- 
despised.  Therefore,  no  denunciations  could  restrain  him 
from  practising  the  old-fashioned  hospitality  of  placing- 
some  spirits  before  his  guests,  "  for  the  stomach's  sake."' 
And  as  the  dew  had  fallen  upon  them,  our  brace  of  young 
gentlemen  sipped  moderately  and  temperately,  to  withstand 
the  vicissitudes  of  the  climate,  and  to  temper  their  systems 
to  the  atmosphere. 

Afterward  they  partook  with  the  family  of  a  sumptuous 
repast ;  and  then,  in  the  good  old  way  of  our  ancestors, 
they  ranged  themselves  around  the  blazing  fire,  made 
agreeable  by  one  of  those  cool  evenings  which  sometimes 
follow  a  sultry  day  in  Missouri. 

The  chairs  they  sat  in  were  likewise  the  comfortable 
old-fashioned  split-bottomed  ones,  and  the  young  men  felt 
and  acted  as  if  conscious  that  the  more  they  enjoyed 
themselves,  the  more  they  would  contribute  to  the  enjoy- 
ment of  their  entertainers.     They  joked,  told  amusing 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  57 

tales,  and  laughed  heartily.  And  Mary  sang  several  old- 
time  love-songs  for  them,  until  Nap's  sighing,  and  enthu- 
siastic admiration  convinced  Jack  that  he  was  in  danger 
of  receiving  a  new  impression.  But  yet  he  could  not 
entirely  divest  himself  of  his  favourite  Mr.  Darling's 
gestures.  Mr.  Darling  was  a  perfect  model,  in  Nap's 
eyes,  of  elocution  and  captivating  manners.  Hence  his 
left  hand  waved  the  handkerchief,  and  his  right  pointed 
his  remarks  with  the  usual  finger. 

Jack  grew  excessively  tired  of  seeing  that  finger  pro- 
truded on  the  delivery  of  every  sentence ;  but  he  felt  that 
it  would  be  indelicate  to  venture  any  remark  on  such  a 
nuisance.  So  he  determined  to  gaze  at  the  offensive  mem- 
ber every  time  it  was  thrust  before  the  company,  and 
endeavour  to  stare  it  out  of  countenance.  And  he  suc- 
ceeded. For  Nap,  observing  that  his  friend's  eyes  were 
fixed  upon  his  finger  so  often  and  so  steadfastly,  at  length, 
and  for  the  first  time,  looked  at  it  himself.  He  perceived, 
with  shame  and  confusion,  that  it  was  not  only  a  very 
long,  thick,  and  rough  member  to  be  flourished  in  a  timid 
young  lady's  face,  but  that  it  had  been  blackened  with 
powder  when  he  charged  the  gun,  and  he  had  afterwards 
neglected  to  wash  it.  Then  he  sedulously  strove  to  conceal 
it,  after  every  one  present  had  seen  it  a  hundred  times. 
As  is  sometimes  found  to  be  the  case  in  the  best  regulated 
households,  there  was  a  smart  rent  in  the  bottom  of  the 
chair  he  occupied  :  and  as  the  finger  still  would  remain 
straightened  from  long  habit,  he  determined  to  hide  it  in 
the  fracture  of  the  seat.  So  he  thrust  it  in  the  hole  under 
the  skirt  of  his  coat ;  and  although,  in  the  progress  of  an 
animated  discussion,  it  would  occasionally  reappear  and 
assume  its  accustomed  attitude,  he  would,  as  soon  as 
conscious  of  its  offensive  presence,  by  a  spasmodic  effort, 
hurl  it  down  again  to  its  place  of  concealment. 

Upon  one  occasion,  when  the  finger  descended  through 
the  bottom  of  the  chair,  it  was  seized  by  one  of  Mary's 
pets — a   beautiful  white   tomcat.     Nap   started  slightly. 


58  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

He  had  seen  the  cat  playing  with  Mary's  apron-string, 
and  was  at  once  convinced  it  was  not  a  rattlesnake  tickling 
him.  Besides,  puss  w^as  gentle,  and  did  not  pain  him  by 
a  severe  infliction  of  his  claws.  Hence,  to  avoid  attracting 
the  notice  of  the  company  to  the  point  assailed,  Nap  bore 
the  annoyance  for  some  minutes  with  the  stoicism  of  a 
philosopher.  But  in  his  quiet  efforts  to  thrust  or  frighten 
Tom  away  by  the  motions  of  his  finger,  he^  seemed  to 
render  the  animal  the  more  violent  and  pertinacious  in  his 
assaults.  And  yet  poor  Nap  was  content  to  bear  a  few 
smart  punctures  rather  than  make  another  exhibition  ofi 
his  great  blackened  finger. 

Mary,  however,  had  observed  the  exercises  of  the  cat ; 
but  she  never  dreamed  the  projecting  object  that  puss  was 
attacking  could  be  a  man's  finger.  It  struck  her  it  must 
be  quite  another  thing ;  and  that  supposition  made  her 
altogether  as  ill  at  ease  as  Nap  himself.  A  pig  had  been 
slaughtered  on  the  farm  that  day,  which  was  to  be  sent 
over  to  the  camp-meeting  as  a  neighbourly  contribution 
to  the  daily  feasts  in  the  woods  ;  and  as  Mary  had  seen 
one  of  the  little  negroes  playing  in  the  yard  with  the  pig's 
tail,  she  felt  convinced  that  it  must  have  been  brought 
into  the  house,  and  had  somehow  become  wedged  between 
the  slits  of  the  chair. 

For  many  moments  Mary  strove  to  entice  the  puss  away, 
but  without  success.  Then  embracing  an  opportunity, 
when  her  mother  was  entertaining  the  young  men  with  an 
amusing  anecdote  of  the  early  v  times  in  Missouri,  she 
glided  unobserved  out  of  the  room.  She  hastened  into  the 
kitchen  and  seized  a  pair  of  tongs  from  the  hands  of  the 
fat  cook,  who  was  tumbling  the  blazing  fagots  about  in  the 
capacious  fire-place,  where  every  thing  was  kept  nearly  at 
a  white  heat.  Thus  provided,  she  tripped  lightly  back, 
and  entered  the  room  softly  on  tiptoe.  None  of  the 
company  observed  her,  as  all  of  them  had  their  faces 
turned  toward  the  hearth. 

Thus  encouraged,  Mary  noiselessly  approached  Nap's 


OP   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  59 

chair.  Stooping  gently  down,  she  applied  the  heated 
tongs  to  the  supposed  pig's  tail. 

i'Scat!  hem!"  said  Nap,  quivering  convulsively,  but 
still  suffering  his  finger  to  remain  where  it  was.  The  cat, 
retreating  before  the  heated  tongs,  sprang  from  under  the 
chair,  and  ran  across' the  hearth. 

i'Scat!"  said  Mr.  Townly,  at  the  same  time  aiming  a 
slight  blow  at  Tom  with  his  foot. 

"  That  is  Mary's  pet — don't  hurt  him,"  said  Mrs.  T. 

"  I  was  not  aware  that  you  disliked  cats.  Nap,"  said 
Jack,  <'for  we  have  one  at  the  store,  and  I  do  not  recollect 
ever  seeing  you  drive  it  away." 

'^  Oh  no ;  I  don't  dislike  cats ;  I  like  them  very 
much" 

"Except  in  your  sausages,"  added  Mr.  T.,  laughing. 

Meantime,  Mary,  during  this  colloquy,  had  desisted 
momentarily  from  her  attempt  to  remove  the  pig's  tail, 
and  stood,  half  stooping  and  breathless,  fearing  to  be 
discovered.  However,  no  one  having  seen  her,  and  the 
cat  having  retreated  from  the  room,  she  made  one  more 
effort  to  pull  away  the  tail,  and  a  more  determined  one 
than  the  first.  Grasping  the  tongs  with  both  hands,  she 
again  seized  the  devoted  finger,  which  she  pressed  most 
resolutely  and  endeavoured  with  all  her  strength  to  re- 
move. She  pulled,  and  Nap  pulled.  Of  course  he  could 
not  bear  this  in  silence. 

"Murder  !"  cried  he,  springing  up,  and  overturning  the 
chair.  The  old  gentleman  and  lady,  as  well  as  Jack, 
sprang  to  their  feet  in  great  alarm.  The  tongs  fell  from 
Mary's  hands,  and  she  fled  to  the  kitchen.  Her  mother 
pursued  her. 

"What's  the  matter?"  demanded  Mr.  Townly.  "What 
was  she  doing  with  the  tongs?" 

"  She  had  me  by  the  finger — and  the  tongs  were  hot !" 
cried  Nap,  holding  up  the  wounded  meiaber,  and  at  the 
same  time  making  a  wry  face. 

Just  then  an  explosion  of  merriment  was  heard  in  the 


60  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

kitchen.  Mr.  T.  ran  thither,  followed  by  Handy.  A 
moment  after,  Nap  heard  them  all  uttering  shouts  of 
laughter,  for  Mary  had  told  them  the  whole  truth. 

Mary  then  flew  to  her  chamber,  declaring  it  would  be 
impossible  for  her  to  confront  her  injured  victim  again 
that  night.  Her  mother  undertook  to  make  an  explana- 
tion, and  to  apologize  for  her.  But  she  was  incompetent 
to  the  task ;  for  when  she  came  to  the  pig's  tail,  she  was 
so  violently  convulsed  with  laughter,  as  to  be  unable  to 
utter  a  word  more.  Jack  then  undertook  it,  but  with  no 
better  success ;  while  Nap  looked  and  listened  in  embar- 
rassment and  pain.  Mr.  Townly  alone  could  accomplish 
it;  and  he  did  so  very  gravely,  and  in  his  usual  dry 
manner.  ■^' 

'« It  was  natural — it  was  nothing  to  laugh  at,"  said  Nap. 
"  I  admire  her  delicacy  in  quietly  attempting  to  remove 
what  she  supposed  to  be  the  tail  of  a  pig.  An  apology  is 
not  at  all  necessary." 

At  the  urgent  solicitation  of  Nap,  Mary  was  then  sent 
for ;  but  she  declared  she  could  not  make  her  appearance 
again  that  night,  being  so  excessively  mortified  at  what 
had  happened.  Nap  then  begged  for  pen,  ink,  and  paper, 
and  addressed  her  the  following  note : — 

"My  Dear  Miss  Mary, 
"I  entreat  that  you  will  not  be  mortified  at  the  uninten- 
tional mistake  you  committed.  I  appreciate  your  motive, 
in  attempting  to  remove  the  supposed  offensive  member 
without  disturbing  me.  I  am  only  sorry  that  I  allowed 
myself  to  be  agitated,  and  that  I  was  the  cause  of  agita- 
tion in  others.  Had  I  known  what  was  the  nature  of  the 
instrument  which  held  my  finger,  and  that  you  had  guided 
it,  no  such  startling  exclamation  should  have  escaped  my 
lips.  I  pray  that  you  will  pardon  me,  and  believe  me 
truly,  your  frieifd  and  admirer, 

"N.  B.Wax." 


OF   A    COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  61 

According  to  another  ridiculous  habit  Nap  had  fallen 
into,  or  had  been  induced  to  adopt  several  years  previously 
by  a  wag,  he  signed  his  name,  as  usual,  about  midway  of 
the  paper,  instead  of  placing  it  at  the  right-hand  side  of 
the  page. 

The  note  was  sent  up  by  a  negro  girl,  and  was,  contrary 
to  the  expectation  of  every  one,  promptly  responded  to. 
Mary,  although  she  could  not  forgive  herself  for  commit- 
ting such  a  blunder,  was  willing  to  contribute  any  thing  in 
her  power  to  alleviate  the  pain  of  her  victim.  The  idea 
of  affording  relief  to  the  sufferer,  having  once  occurred  to 
her  mind,  all  the  shame  and  mortification  she  had  experi- 
enced vanished  from  her  breast.  And  so  she  quickly  reap- 
peared, with  a  bold  visage,  holding  in  one  hand  a  linen 
rag,  and  in  the  other  a  cake  of  beeswax. 

<'  Won't  you  melt  it,  while  I  make  some  lint  ?"  she  asked 
of  her  mother,  placing  the  wax  in  her  hand. 

"Is  that  good  for  a  burn,  child?"  asked  her  mother. 

"  I  suppose  so.     He  requested  me  to  bring  him  some.'* 

"Nap,  is  that  what  you  were  writing  about?"  asked 
Jack. 

"No,  indeed!"  exclaimed  Nap,  in  great  surprise. 

"I  beg  pardon,  then;  for  I  must  have  misunderstood 
the  nota  bene.  I  supposed  it  meant  that  you  desired  me 
to  bring  you  some  wax  to  apply  to  the  wound,"  said  Mary. 
Oh,  I  understand  it.  Nap  signs  his  name  in  so  pecu- 
liar a  manner  as  to  make  any  one  suppose  it  to  be  a  mere 
postscript ;  and  in  this  instance,  when  you  were  probably 
conjecturing  what  might  be  the  proper  remedy  to  apply 
to  the  wound,  the  word  «wax'  very  naturally  suggested 
the  idea  that  he  desired  to  have  a  salve  made  of  that 
substance." 

"And  it  was  no  bad  idea,"  said  Mr.  Townly,  dryly; 
"  for  it  is  an  excellent  remedy,  when  mixed  with  softsoap 
Get  some,  Mary,  and  tie  up  his  finger." 

"And  Nap,  I  would  advise  you  hereafter,"  said  Jack, 
"to  write  your  name  differently,  so  that  it  cannot  be  mis- 


62  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

taken.  Write  it  in  full,  Napoleon  Bonaparte  Wax ;  or  if 
you  like  it  better,  sign  yourself  as  the  ancient  Romans 
did,  making  an  initial  stand  for  the  first  part  of  the  name, 
and  write  the  balance  in  full ;  for  instance,  N.  Bonaparte 
Wax.  Cicero  signed  himself,  M.  Tullius  Cicero ;  Brutus, 
M.  Junius  Brutus ;  Csesar,  C.  Julius  C^sar.  Why  should 
not  we  Americans  imitate  the  Romans  ?" 

"I'll  tell  you  why,"  said  Nap,  flourishing  his  handker- 
chief, and  unconsciously  extending  his  bandaged  finger. 
<'But  the  reason  is  not  original  with  me;  1  had  it  from 
Colonel  Benton.  He  says  it  has  become  a  preposterous 
habit  with  silly  parents  to  bestow  upon  their  coxcombs  in 
politics,  and  shallow  fops  in  literature,  the  names  of  great 
men,  as  if  a  mere  appellation  could  be  a  substitute  for 
brains.  He  says  he  has  been  flea-bitten  a  hundred  times 
by  the  assaults  of  Was-hington,  Clay,  Jackson,  Madison, 
and  Hamilton ;  or  rather  by  Mr.  G.  Washington  Snooks, 
Mr.  H.  Clay  Pippin,  Mr.  A.  Jackson  Squib,  Mr.  J.  Madi- 
son Pumpkin,  and  Mr.  A.  Hamilton  Squash — scribblers  for 
the  papers,  or  frothy  declaimers  from  the  stump.  And  he 
says  that  during  his  long  experience,  all  such  insects, 
sporting  those  grandiloquent  names,  have  been  too  con- 
temptible in  his  eyes  to  merit  annihilation.  He  deemed  it 
punishment  sufficient  for  them  to  be  doomed  to  bear,  during 
their  lives,*  such  aggravating  sponsorial  curses.  From  that 
moment  I  determined  to  sign  myself  simply  N.  B.  Wax.  I 
will  never  be  indebted  to  another  man's  name  for  any  dis- 
tinction I  may  win." 

"And  any  man  may  win  distinction,"  said  Jack,  "by 
perseverance.  Water  wears  away  the  rock  that  obstructs 
its  course :  so  man  may  mould  his  own  fortune  into  any 
shape  he  shall  resolve  upon,  provided  he  is  not  diverted 
from  the  path  that  leads  to  the  object  he  desires  to  attain. 
Wax  may  be  made  to  assume  as  imposing  a  shape  as  even 
that  of  Bonaparte." 

"That  is  true,"  said  Mr.  T.,  with  a  serious  visage,  "for 
I  have  seen  it.     There  was  a  show  of  wax  figures  in  this 


OF   A    COUNTBY  MERCnANT.  63 

county  last  year,  and  they  had  Napoleon,  Josephine,  Wel- 
lington, &c.,  as  large  as  life,  and  twice  as  natural,  as  they 
told  me." 

Fortunately  for  Nap,  he  did  not  hear  this.  His  head 
had  gradually  declined  against  the  mantel-piece,  and  a 
gurgling  sound  issued  from  his  nose,  which  Jack  knew  to 
be  the  prelude  to  something  more  startling.  He  therefore 
aroused  him  by  a  smart  slap  on  the  shoulder,  and  begged 
permission  of  his  host  for  them  to  retire,  alleging  the 
fatigues  of  the  day,  and  the  exhausting  laughter  of  the 
night,  as  an  excuse  for  making  the  request  at  such  an  early 
hour.  The  petition  was  granted ;  and  Jack  then  intimated 
to  Mrs.  T.,  in  a  whisper,  that  as  his  friend  habitually 
snored  very  loudly,  she  would  do  well  to  send  her  guests 
to  a  room  as  remote  as  possible  from  the  part  of  the  house 
occupied  by  the  family. 

She  did  so;  and  acting  upon  Jack's  suggestion,  with 
some  care  for  his  own  comfort,  she  had  the  young  men 
placed  in  different  rooms.  The  chamber  Nap  occupied 
was  a  spacious  one,  and  was  usually  slept  in  by  four  or  five 
children,  who,  on  the  present  occasion,  had  been  required 
to  relinquish  it  for  the  benefit  of  the  guest.  But  one  of 
the  boys,  who  had  visited  a  menagerie  which  had  been 
recently  exhibited  in  the  vicinity,  having  garnished  the 
w^all  with  one  of  the  large  show-bills,  the  eyes  of  Nap 
rested  upon  it  on  entering  the  room,  and  ^or  a  long  time 
he  was  strangely  rendered  incapable  of  finding  his  accus- 
tomed rest.  He  read  every  word ;  he  gazed  at  every 
figure,  and  he  wondered  how  it  happened  that  he  had 
never  witnessed  such  an  exhibition.  He  could  distinctly 
remember  half  a  dozen  of  such  shows  being  exhibited  in 
the  neighbourhood  of  his  abode,  and  yet  ho  had  never 
beheld  any  of  them.  He  had  never  seen  an  elephant, 
lion,  zebra,  or  monkey,  in  all  his  life.  It  was  truly  re- 
markable. He  then  ran  over  the  obstacles  which  had 
prevented  him  from  being  present  on  such  momentous 
occasions  to  boys  and  curious  young  men.    They  had  been 


64  -  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

the  result  of  accident  in  every  instance,  which  no  foresight 
or  precaution  on  his  part  could  have  prevented.  On  one 
occasion  a  little  cousin  had  been  taken  suddenly  ill,  and  he 
was  sent  several  miles  over  the  country  in  pursuit  of  a  doc- 
tor ;  on  another,  his  father  died;  on  a  third,  he  was  ill  him- 
self; and  on  the  recent  one,  which  he  had  resolved  to 
avail  himself  of,  his  horse,  that  was  usually  suffered  to 
browse  at  liberty  near  the  store,  being  frightened  by  the 
whistle  of  a  steamboat,  took  to  his  heels  and  ran  away. 
When  he  succeeded  in  capturing  him,  it  was  too  late  to 
ride  such  a  distance  with  any  hope  of  seeing  the  exhibition 
that  day — and  that  day  was  the  last  of  it. 

Nap  dwelt  on  these  things,  and  for  a  long  time  found  it 
impossible  to  sleep.  He  concluded  there  must  be  some- 
thing significant  and  mysterious  in  such  a  series  of  acci- 
dents, tending  to  the  same  result,  and  his  mind  was 
troubled.  But  by  slow  degrees  slumber  overpowered  him ; 
though  not  till  he  had  paced  the  room  a  great  many  times 
in  much  perturbation ;  nor  until  he  had  cooled  his  throb- 
bing temples  near  an  open  window,  before  which  a  fine 
forest-tree  had  been  tastefully  permitted  to  stand. 

No  one  heard  him  snore  that  night,  though  doubtless  he 
snored  as  loudly  as  usual  when  he  sank  to  repose.  It  was' 
late  when  he  awoke  the  next  morning.  The  sun  was 
shining  brightly  through  the  window,  the  sash  of  which 
had  remained  up  all  night.  Perhaps  it  was  the  violent 
motion  of  a  branch  of  the  tree  near  the  window,  and  a 
scratching  sound  at  the  casement  which  had  awakened 
him.  And  upon  gazing  steadfastly  in  that  direction,  he 
beheld  a  large  monkey  that  had  escaped  from  the  itinerant 
showman.  It  was  dressed  in  scarlet,  and  wore  a  three- 
cornered  hat,  which,  though  fastened  to  his  neck  by  a 
string,  he  could  remove  at  pleasure.  Thus,  when  Nap 
stared  at  it,  it  lifted  the  hat,  as  it  had  been  trained  to  do, 
and  after  bowing  very  low,  replaced  it  on  its  head. 

<«Well,  my  little  nigger,"  said  Nap,  smiling,  "that's 


OP   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  65 

polite.  And  that's  a  pretty  dress  they  have  furnished  you 
with,  just  to  wait  upon  me.     What's  your  name?" 

The  monkey  uttered  a  chattering  sound,  and  jumped  up 
smartly  once  or  twice. 

"  I  don't  understand  such  gibberish.  Perhaps  you're  a 
Guinea  negro,  and  don't  understand  our  language.  Well, 
pour  me  out  some  water,  and  then  black  my  boots." 

The  animal  looked  him  saucily  in  the  fjice  and  winked 
his  eyes  repeatedly  ;  but  did  not  evince  any  inclination  to 
obey  the  command. 

"  Why  don't  you  do  what  I  tell  you,  Sambo  ?  What 
did  you  come  here  for,  if  not  to  wait  on  me,  you  rascal. 
Didn't  your  mistress  send  you  to  do  something?" 

Nap  uttered  these  words  somewhat  angrily,  as  he  rose 
from  the  bed  and  proceeded  to  put  on  his  clothes.  But 
the  change  in  his  tone  only  had  the  effect  to  make  the 
monkey  leap  about  more  violently  than  before,  and  to  grin 
and  snap  his  teeth. 

"Why,  what  sort  of  a  negro  is  that?"  exclaimed  Nap, 
pausing  in  the  act  of  pulling  on  his  breeches.  <'  I  never 
saw  such  teeth  in  a  negro's  head  before.  He  must  be  a 
raw  Guinea  negro.  See  here,  my  chap,  if  you  behave 
in  that  manner,  I'll  slap  your  jaws.  Don't  give  me  any 
of  your  impudence !" 

The  monkey  only  responded  by  several  loud  stamps  on 
the  floor,  and  other  menacing  gestures  and  grimaces.  It 
then  walked  to  the  washstand  and  poured  some  water  into 
the  basin. 

''I'm  glad  you  can  understand  me,  you  little  rascal, 
though  I  can't  make  out  the  meaning  of  your  squeaking 
jargon.  Hello !  What're  you  doing  there,  you  infernal 
African?"  Nap  uttered  this  upon  seeing  the  monkey  lift 
up  the  basin  and  drink  heartily  of  its  contents.  "Put  it 
down,  you  nasty,  dirty  imp  1"  he  continued. 

Jacko,  however,  instead  of  obeying  the  mandate,  danced 
toward  Nap  with  the  basin  in  his  hands,  and  when  within 
a  couple  of  paces  of  him,  dashed  the  water  in  his  face. 

6* 


6Q  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"  You  black  devil,  you !  You,  you  impudent  scoundrel ! 
I'll  beat  you  half  to  death  for  this!"  cried  the  enraged 
Nap,  running  around  the  room  in  pursuit  of  Jacko,  who 
eluded  him  with  ease.  Sometimes  he  dodged  between  his 
legs,  and  at  others  he  sprang  over  his  head.  At  last  the 
monkey  retreated  to  a  corner  and  seemed  to  bid  defiance 
to  his  pursuer.  As  Nap  approached,  Jacko  indicated  by 
a  display  of  his  teeth  what  would  be  the  consequence  if 
assaulted  in  that  position. 

*' You  don't  mean  to  say  you'll  bite  me, do  you?"  asked 
Nap,  advancing.  "  If  you  do,  I'll  knock  you  down  with 
my  fist,  and  it's  a  heavy  one!"  Saying  this.  Nap  attempted 
to  throttle  Jacko  with  his  left  hand,  which  was  immediately 
seized  by  the  animal's  formidable  array  of  white  teeth. 
True  to  his  threat.  Nap  doubled  up  his  fist,  and  at  one 
blow  knocked  the  monkey  some  fifteen  feet  from  the 
corner  where  he  was  standing.  He  fell  heavily  on  the 
floor,  and  after  a  convulsive  quiver,  and  a  spasmodic 
motion  of  the  limbs,  remained  perfectly  still,  for  his  neck 
had  been  dislocated. 

Nap  looked  at  him  in  alarm.  He  turned  him  over  with 
his  foot,  and  perceived  that  he  was  dead. 

"  Good  gracious  !"  said  he,  trembling.  "  I  believe  I've 
killed  the  infernal  negro.  What  did  the  fool  bite  me  for, 
when  I  told  him  I  would  knock  him  down  if  he  did  so  ? 
What  will  they  do  with  me  ?  Goodness  !  I'm  afraid  they'll 
hang  me — at  least  try  me  for  murder."  And  for  seve- 
ral moments  he  quivered  violently,  being  desperately 
alarmed 

Then  hastily  completing  his  toilet,  he  descended  in 
silence  to  the  breakfast-room.  His  troubled  visage  soon 
attracted  the  notice  of  Jack. 

"I  hope,  Nap,"  said  his  friend,  <' since  it  was  out  of 
your  power  to  disturb  any  one  else  last  night,  that  your 
snoring  did  not  interfere  with  your  own  slumber.  Yet 
you  do  not  look  refreshed." 

''  I  trust  the  little  occurrence  with  the  tongs,  for  which 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  67 

I  am  to  be  blamed,  did  not  deprive  you  of  your  rest,"  said 
Mary. 

"  Oh  no,"  said  Nap,  laconically. 

"Then  why  don't  you  eat?"  asked  Mr.  Townly,  who 
observed  that  he  scarcely  tasted  any  thing. 

"  Every  thing  is  very  good — only,  somehow,  I  have  no 
appetite  this  morning." 

"  No  occasion,  he  meant  to  say.  You'll  see  what  an 
immense  quantity  he'll  eat  before  hb  rises  !"  observed 
Jack. 

"  Perhaps  he  had  bad  dreams,  or  has  seen  a  ghost," 
remarked  Mary.  "  I  hope  he  don't  suifer  much  pain  from 
the  wound  I  gave  him." 

"  Oh,  not  at  all;  it's  quite  well,  I  thank  you.  But  as 
to  dreams  and  ghosts,  I  can  assure  you  I've  seen  an  awful 
sight  this  morning !" 

<' What  was  it  ?     Pray  tell  us  !"  exclaimed  Mary. 

<'  Why,  Nap,  you  do  look  excited,  just  as  you  did  after 
our  moonlight  hunt.  But  what's  that?"  continued  Handy, 
seeing  the  wounds  made  by  the  monkey's  teeth  on  his 
friend's  hand.  "That  was  not  done  by  the  cat  or  the 
tongs.  It  was  the  finger  of  your  right  hand  which  suffered 
last  night." 

"  I  know  it.  And  the  sight  I  saw  this  morning,  you 
may  be  assured,  was  no  fanciful  vision  ;  for  the  thing  I 
beheld  bit  my  hand." 

"  AVhat  was  it  ?"  asked  Mrs.  Townly. 

"  A  negro." 

"  A  negro !  Impossible.  Not  one  of  them  durst  go 
into  your  room  without  being  summoned  thither,"  said  the 
hostess. 

'  But  I  assure  you  one  did  come  in,  and  a  very  impu- 
dent rascal  he  was,  too.  And  yet  when  I  came  out  of  my 
room,  I  confess  the  door  was  bolted  on  the  inside,  just  as 
I  had  left  it  before  lying  down." 

"Then  it  was  a  dream,  sure  enough,"  said  Mr.  Townly. 


68  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

«  Then  these  prints  of  his  teeth  are  nothing  but  imagi- 
nary punctures." 

"  But,  Nap,"  said  Jack,  "  you  don't  mean  to  say  a  negro 
boy  bit  your  hand  with  his  teeth?" 

4'  He  didn't  do  it  with  his  nose.  You  see  I've  been 
bitten.  Well ;  I  say  a  negro  boy  did  it  in  my  chamber 
since  I  awoke  this  morning." 

Mr.  Townly  laid  down  his  knife  and  fork,  and  leaning 
back  in  his  chair,  gazed  steadily  at  his  guest,  as  if  in  doubt 
of  his  sanity. 

<' What  else  did  he  ?"  asked  Jack. 

<'Why,  when  I  told  him  to  pour  me  out  some  water,  he 
dashed  a  basinful  in  my  face.  You  see  my  shirt  is  wet. 
This  is  no  mere  fancy." 

Mary  covered  her  face  with  her  handkerchief,  declaring 
that  her  coffee  had  scalded  her. 

'<■  Then  what  did  you  do  ?"  continued  Jack. 

"  I'm  afraid  I  did  wrong — I  knocked  him  down." 

"No,  sir,  you  did  right — if  a  negro  of  mine  had  the 
impudence  to  throw  water  in  your  face." 

"  I  might  as  well  tell  all,  Mr.  Townly,  for  it  must  be 
found  out.  He  did  not  get  up  again  !  Oh,  sir,  will  you 
forgive  me  ?     Do  you  think  they'll  try  me  for  murder?" 

"Did  you  kill  him  ?" 

"As  dead  as  a  door-nail.     He  never  kicked,  though  I 
struck  him  only  once,  and  that  was  when  he  bit  me." 
-"You  say  the  door  was  bolted?" 

"Yes,  sir;  and  I  saw  him  get  in  at  the  window.'* 

"How  was  he  dressed?" 

"In  a  red  coat,  and  a  sharp-cornered  outlandish  hat." 

"  They  won't  hang  you,  I'll  answer  for  it.  Eat  your 
oreakfast  as  quickly  as  possible,  for  I  must  laugh  soon,  or 
burst." 

"You  are  sure  I  won't  be  tried?" 

"  Quite  certain.  I'll  stand  in  your  shoes  for  a  six- 
pence." 

"Thank  you!"  said  Nap,  at  length  beginning  to  eat 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  69 

heartily.  "  I  forgot  to  tell  you,"  he  continued,  between 
the  enormous  quantities  of  savoury  food  he  conveyed  to 
his  mouth,  "that  there  was  a  remarkable  feature  about 
the  negro  which  I  never  before  saw  on  any  human  being." 

''What  was  it?"  asked  Mary,  quickly. 

"A  long  tail.  I  didn't  discover  it  until  after  I  had 
knocked  him  down." 

i'Jacko!  It's  the  lost  Jacko,  they  were  hunting  the 
other  day,"  said  Mr.  T.,  now  giving  vent  to  a  hearty  peal 
of  laughter. 

"Jacko?  Was  that  his  name?"  asked  Nap.  "I  called 
him  Sambo;  but  he  didn't  answer  me." 

"Is  Jacko  up-stairs?"  asked  Mary,  rising.  «Eun, 
Peyton !  don't  let  him  get  away.  Get  the  ladder  and 
close  the  window." 

"  Don't  be  uneasy,"  said  Nap,  in  the  midst  of  his  tre- 
mendous repast.  "You  need  not  fear  he  will  escape. 
Put  yourself  to  no  inconvenience.  If  ever  he  runs  away 
from  his  master *again,  I'll  agree  to  eat  him." 

"They  do  eat  them  in  South  America,"  said  Mr.  T., 
"and  they  say  their  meat  is  very  palatable." 

"What,  negro  meat?"  exclaimed  Nap,  dropping  his 
knife  and  fork.  "  I'm  done  with  the  pig's  ribs  for  to-day. 
Eat  negro  meat?" 

"No,  I  didn't  say  so.     I  said  monkey's  meat." 

"  Monkey's  meat  ?  Mon — I  never  saw  one  in  my  life. 
Mon — I'll  be  durned" 

"  Why,  Nap,"  said  Jack,  with  difficulty  maintaining  a 
grave  face,  for  he  now  fully  comprehended  what  had  hap- 
pened, "do  you  know  what  you  are  saying?  Are  you 
aware  there  are  ladies  present  ?" 

"  Pardon  me,  ladies  ;  but — durn  me  if — if — blast  me  if 
I  don't  believe  if  it  was  a  monkey  I  killed !  Mr.  Townly, 
did  you  ever  know  a  negro  to  have  a  tail?" 

"  No,  I  never  did.  But  that  don't  prove  they  never 
have  them.  There's  a  Yankee  lady  gone  over  to  England, 
who  knows  more  about  such  things  than  we  planters  in  the 


70  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

South.  If  she  tells  the  duchesses  and  countesses  they 
have  tails,  the  wise  people  of  the  old  world  will  believe  her ; 
and  then  I'd  advise  you  never  to  go  very  far  North  to  buy 
your  goods,  for  they  might  snap  you  up  and  hang  you.  At 
all  events,  they'll  have  you  in  the  papers,  and  call  you  a 
monster  and  a  murderer.  And  that  will  not  be  all ;  they'll 
anathematize  the  entire  white  population  of  the  South." 

"What,  because  I  killed  a  monkey?" 

<'  They'll  magnify  him  into  an  oppressed,  persecuted 
individual,  and  subscribe  money  for  the  benefit  of  his  kin- 
dred, friends,  and  defenders." 

"Jack!"  said  Nap,  rising  abruptly,  "do  you  know  a 
monkey  when  you  see  him?" 
'  "Oh  yes." 

"  Then  come  w^ith  me  up-stairs." 

"Lead  on;  I'll  follow.    Perhaps  he's  not  dead  after  all." 

"  Then  I'm  no  judge  of  death,  when  a  body's  cold  and 
stiff." 

When  they  entered  the  room,  followed  by  the  family, 
they  found  poor  Jacko  just  where  Nap  had  left  him,  and 
quite  dead.  Nap,  when  assured  beyond  the  possibility  of 
a  doubt  that  his  victim  was  truly  a  monkey,  was  quite  as 
merry  as  the  rest.  But  he  begged  them  not  to  tell  what 
he  had  done ;  at  least  never  to  divulge  his  error  in  sup- 
posing it  to  be  a  negro.  They  promised  to  keep  the  secret 
— and  performed  it  faithfully. 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MEKCHANT.  71 

CHAPTER  VI. 

The  Camp-meeting. 

It  being  Sunday,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Townly  and  Mary 
accompanied  Nap  and  Jack  to  the  camp-meeting.  When 
they  arrived  in  the  vicinity,  the  horn,  as  they  called  a  tin 
trumpet,  was  sounded  for  the  people  to  assemble  within 
the  area  of  the  hollow  square  formed  by  the  temporary 
huts.  Upon  the  ground  where  the  pulpit,  the  altar,  and 
the  benches  were  placed,  there  grew  a  number  of  fine 
forest-trees,  whose  foliage,  still  green,  served  to  shelter 
the  host  of  worshippers  from  the  heat  of  the  sun,  or  from 
the  damp  of  a  passing  shower.  On  one  side,  the  ground 
was  bounded  by  a  sparkling  brook,  which  came  from  a 
delicious  spring  of  refreshing  water  in  the  immediate  vici- 
nity; on  the  other  was  a  pleasant  grove,  beyond  which 
the  high  undulating  prairie  was  perceptible. 

The  horses  of  our  party  being  tied  securely  to  the  bushes, 
they  proceeded  toward  the  stand  whither  the  great  mass 
of  the  people  were  collecting,  and  secured  seats  on  a  rough 
bench  in  front  of  the  pulpit. 

In  the  pulpit  were  several  venerable  preachers,  who 
had  been  engaged  for  many  years  in  the  great  work  of 
conducting  repentant  sinners  to  the  fold  of  Him  to  whose 
service  their  lives  were  honestly  devoted.  Beside  them 
were  the  middle-aged  and  the  more  youthful  labourers  in 
the  field.  Among  the  latter.  Nap  had  the  satisfaction  to 
recognise  his  especial  favourite,  the  reverend  Mr.  Darling. 
But  if  he  expected  to  witness  any  of  his  rhetorical  flou- 
rishes, or  to  hear  any  of  his  thrilling  appeals  to  the 
passions  of  the  people  during  that  day,  he  was  doomed  to 
be  disappointed. 

The  most  grave  and  venerable  minister  present  arose 
and   began  the   morning   exercises.     He  was   tall,  pale. 


72  LIFE    AXD   ADVENTURES 

deliberate,  and  dignified.  His  white  hair  was  combed 
smoothly  back,  and  contrasted  strongly  with  his  black  coat, 
having,  as  usual,  its  sharp,  short  collar.  He  nrade  no 
effort  to  sweep  away  the  hearts  of  his  hearers  by  a  hurri- 
cane of  impassioned  declamation.  On  the  contrary,  his 
text  was  announced  in  an  orthodox  manner,  and  faithfully 
adhered  to  throughout.  He  did  not  even  recite  an 
anecdote  to  excite  a  smile,  or  relate  some  thrilling  semi- 
supernatural  occurrence  to  startle  the  minds  of  his  audi- 
tors with  visions  of  agonizing  horrors.  But  he  laboured 
to  convince  the  understanding  and  to  subdue  the  heart, 
by  the  manifest  truthfulness  of  his  demonstrations,  and 
the  undeniable  policy  of  always  discharging  one's  duty  to 
God  and  man. 

Nap  frequently  remarked  that  it  was  an  excessively  dull 
meeting ;  and  expressed  a  wish  that  they  would  come  to 
the  exciting  part  of  the  entertainment.  But  he  was 
informed  that  the  scene  he  desired  to  witness  would  not 
be  exhibited  before  night ;  and  so  he  embraced  an  oppor- 
tunity to  escape  from  his  company,  for  the  purpose  of 
exploring  the  tents,  and  visiting  the  booths  in  the  remote 
parts  of  the  grove,  where  some  extra  refreshments  might 
be  had  for  the  money. 

Jack  remained  and  listened.  He  listened  to  the  sound 
of  the  aged  preacher's  voice,  but  did  not  always  mark  his 
words.  He  had  heard  him  in  Kentucky,  in  infancy,  in 
boyhood,  and  now  in  manhood ;  and  reminiscences  of  the 
past  crowded  upon  his  memory.  The  few  straggling  rays 
of  sunlight  that  streamed  upon  the  altar  before  him,  and 
the  shadowy  outlines  of  the  quivering  leaves  that  "flitted 
fairy-like  at  his  feet,  seemed  by  their  magic  influence  to 
transport  him  back  to  the  days  of  his  early  boyhood,  w^hen 
sitting  beside  his  father  he  had  witnessed  a  similar  spectacle, 
and  heard  the  identical  voice  then  sounding  in  his  ears. 
And  now  his  father  reposed  among  the  dead,  having 
departed  exulting  in  the  truth  of  the  doctrine  expounded 
by  the  venerable  speaker  before  him. 


OP  A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  73 

A  deep  and  lasting  impression  was  made  upon  his  heart, 
if  not  upon  his  understanding,  and  he  had  a  strong  incli- 
nation to  enlist  in  the  great  army  of  the  zealous  followers 
of  Christ.  Although  the  venerable  preacher  did  not  aim 
to  become  impassioned,  yet  he  had  succeeded,  from  the 
associations  he  had  produced  in  the  memory  of  Jack,  in 
rousing  his  feelings  almost  to  a  state  of  enthusiasm. 
Every  now  and  then  a  tear  would  steal  silently  down  the 
young  man's  cheek,  and  an  electric  thrill  would  shoot  with 
the  velocity  of  lightning  through  his  breast.  But  he  re- 
mained still  and  silent  like  the  rest.  What  he  had  heard  was 
only  the  distant,  heavy  artillery,  which  precedes  the  fury 
of  the  conflict.  And  he  was  yet  to  witness  the  contest  with 
the  hosts  of  the  evil  one,  at  close  quarters,  and  in  the 
whirlwind  of  frenzy.  The  victory  might  be  on  the  side 
of  the  devoutly  inclined  ministers  and  the  truly  pious 
soldiers  of  the  cross  ;  but  the  triumph,  perhaps,  was  not  to 
*be  without  its  sacrifices,  wherein  certain  victims  were  to 
fall,  and  to  become  the  trophies  of  the  evil  one. 

During  the  day  there  were  four  argumentative  sermons 
preached,  each  a  little  more  impassioned  than  the  last. 
This  was  in  strict  accordance  with  the  consummate  skill  of 
the  generals,  and  sanctioned  by  the  commander-in-chief, 
Mr.  Green,  the  presiding  elder.  As  the  day  drew  near 
its  close  the  work  became  warmer  and  the  scene  more 
exciting.  The  presiding  elder  himself  opened  his  effective 
battery  upon  the  obdurate  portion  of  the  congregation, 
in  point-blank  range  of  him  ;  and  although  he  was  natu- 
rally dry  in  his  remarks,  and  ordinarily  unpoetical  in  his 
ideas,  yet  on  the  present  occasion,  as  the  critical  moment 
had  arrived  for  the  commencement  of  a  grand  demonstra- 
tion, he  made  extraordinary  exertions  to  emit  the  spark 
which  was  to  ignite  every  heart,  and  finally  wrap  them  all 
in  flames  of  holy  fervour.  For  this  purpose  he  displayed 
unusual  animation.  His  gestures  became  nervous,  his 
sentences  terse,  and  his  tones  emphatic ;  and  at  the  con- 

r 


74  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

elusion  of  every  paragraph  there  were  shrill  <^Amens!" 
responded  by  the  zealous  brethren. 

At  the  conclusion  of  the  sermon  there  was  an  invitation 
given  to  the  religiously  inclined  auditors  to  go  within  the 
altar  and  be  prayed  for.  They  were  invoked  to  come 
forward  during  the  singing  of  a  hymn,  and  to  kneel  down 
before  a  bench  placed  in  front  of  the  pulpit  for  the 
purpose. 

The  sober  countenance  of  young  Handy  had  been 
observed  by  many.  Brothers  Steele,  and  Nave,  and  Black 
had  watched  his  serious  aspect  with  the  solicitude  with 
which  it  might  be  supposed  they  would  regard  the  phases 
of  the  physiognomy  of  an  anticipated  convert  of  surpass- 
ing influence.  And  Nap,  from  sympathy  and  example, 
likewise  became  spiritually  endued,  and  was  quite  ready  to 
accompany  his  comrade  into  the  fold.  Hence,  when  the 
pressing  invitation  was  given,  several  of  the  lay  brethren, 
and  as  many  sisters,  all  customers  at  Tyre,  contrived  to  b^ 
as  near  as  possible  to  the  young  men,  so  that  they  might 
encourage  them  with  words  of  entreaty,  and  stimulate 
them  by  the  happiness  expressed  in  their  own  countenances, 
to  press  forward  into  the  holy  place. 

But  it  so  happened  that  the  arch  enemy  likewise  had 
one  of  his  emissaries  posted  in  the  vicinity.  This  was  the 
notorious  Tom  Hazel,  an  incorrigible  sinner,  and  perti- 
nacious scoffer  of  the  pious  portion  of  the  community. 
And  when  several  females  and  one  or  two  of  the  other  sex 
arose  and  boldly  advanced  toward  the  <' anxious  seat,"  as 
he  termed  it,  he  exclaimed  in  an  undertone,  but  which  was 
heard,  as  it  was  designed  to  be,  by  both  of  our  young 
gentlemen — 

"  Now,  they're  coming  to  the  rich  licks  !  Jewhittikin  ! 
there  goes  a  drove  of  'em  !  There's  Sally  Weighton,  old 
Mrs.  Fennel,  Tom  Turner,  Araminta  Fall — all  stool- 
pigeons,  every  one  of  'em !  Every  year  they're  the  first 
to  go  up.  They  do  it  just  to  lead  on  the  green  ones. 
Strangers  think  they're  new  ones,  that's  just  been  con- 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  75 

victed;  but  they've  been  convicted  a  dozen  times,  to  my 
sartain  knowledge.  I'll  swear  to  it !  Catch  who  ?  You 
can't  come  it  over  me,  with  that  sort  of  bait !  I've  seen 
'em  down  in  the  straw  twenty  times  !" 

Nap  and  Jack  were  deaf  to  these  detractions,  or  rather 
loathed  such  irreverent  expressions  in  such  a  sacred  place. 
Brothers  Nave,  Black,  Green,  and  Steele,  besought  them 
to  go  within  the  altar,  and  see  if  it  would  not  result  in 
their  salvation.  If  it  failed,  no  harm  could  ensue ;  if  it 
succeeded,  they  would  for  ever  bless  the  hour  in  which  their 
friends  prevailed  on  them  to  take  a  step  fraught  with  so 
many  happy  consequences.  Thus  they  urged  them  in 
tones  of  the  utmost  kindness,  and  with  tears  in  their 
beseeching  eyes. 

Jack's  feelings  were  deeply  stirred,  and  he  could  see  no 
impropriety  in  going  within  the  enclosure  to  be  prayed 
for ;  and  Nap,  becoming  more  and  more  excited  as  he  be- 
held the  animated  face  of  Miss  Sally  Weighton,  thought 
that  he  too  was  not,  perhaps,  past  praying  for.  So  the 
young  men  arose  and  followed  the  line  proceeding  toward 
the  altar.  Now,  Jack  and  Nap  were  known  by  nearly 
every  one  present ;  and  as  the  merchants  are  generally 
supposed  to  be  rich,  of  course  much  importance  is  attached 
to  their  actions,  and  the  influence  they  wield  is  consider- 
able. Hence,  when  our  brace  of  excited  young  men  re- 
paired to  the  altar,  old  Mrs.  Fennel,  the  little  old  shouting 
woman  in  a  black  hat,  clapped  her  hands  violently  together 
and  shouted  "  Glory  1"  Then  the  penitents  prostrated  them- 
selves at  the  bench  within  the  charmed  circle.  The 
singers  enunciated  the  words  of  the  hymn  they  were  sing- 
ing more  energetically,  and  several  of  the  preachers, 
thanking  their  Maker  parenthetically  between  the  pauses 
of  the  song,  descended  from  their  elevated  stand  and 
mingled  with  the  "seekers,"  as  well  as  among  the  congre- 
gation at  large,  shaking  hands  alike  with  saint  and  sinner, 
old  and  young,  male  and  female,  black  and  white. 

At  the  conclusion  of  the   hymn,  a    solemnly  exciting 


76  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

prayer  was  uttered  by  the  presiding  elder,  wliicli  was 
responded  to  throughout,  and  at  the  conclusion,  by  hun- 
dreds of  emphatic  "  Amens  !" 

At  length  the  hour  for  refreshment  arrived.  Supper  had 
been  prepared  at  each  of  the  fifty  tents  or  huts  that 
surrounded  the  place  of  worship,  and  our  fascinated  young 
men  were  literally  overwhelmed  with  pressing  invitations 
to  partake  of  the  most  savoury  viands  and  the  rarest  deli- 
cacies which  the  country  afforded.  It  had  been  arranged 
for  them  to  return  with  the  Townlys  and  spend  another 
evening  with  them  ;  and  the  Townlys  were  now  mounted 
on  their  horses,  and  impatiently  awaiting  them.  But  the 
many  religious  friends  of  the  young  men  would  not  allow 
the  arrangement  to,  be  carried  into  execution  ;  and  Mary 
seemed  to  be  somewhat  chagrined  when  Jack  expressed  a  dis- 
position to  stay.  Mr.  T.  warned  him  not  to  be  snared  and 
made  a  fool  of  by  the  drunken  hypocrites — drunken  with 
frenzy — as  he  expressed  it.  And  so  the  T.'s  rode  away, 
leaving  their  susceptible  young  guests  to  their  fate. 

Nap  followed  Sally  Weighton  to  her  father's  tent,  while 
Polly  Hopkins,  at  a  distance,  looked  daggers  and  made 
mouths  at  him.  Jack  was  swept  with  the  tide  into  another 
tent,  where  he  was  surrounded  by  the  women  and  preach- 
ers. Tom  Hazel  and  Jackson  Fames,  the  latter  with  a 
bottle  of  brandy  in  his  pocket,  mounted  unperceived  up  in 
one  of  the  huge  oaks  which  overshadowed  the  pulpit  and 
altar,  where  they  regaled  themselves  and  plotted  mischief. 


OP   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  77 


CHAPTER  VIL 

Tlie  dark  tents,  and  mistakes  of  the  night — Nap  and  Jack  squeeze 
hands — Polly  Hopkins  appears — She  lectures  Nap  on  the  subject  of 
excitements — Sal  Weighton — Nap  and  Jack  not  "through" — Spiritual 
manifestations. 

Twilight  was  deepening  over  the  scene.  The  repast 
was  ended,  and  yet  no  candles  were  lighted  within  the 
tents,  for  the  floors  of  all  of  them  were  thickly  covered 
with  straw,  and  if  lights  had  been  used,  there  would  have 
been  great  danger  of  an  accidental  ignition.  Besides,  the 
costumes  of  the  ladies  were  to  be  frequently  readjusted, 
and  if  lights  had  been  taken  into  the  small  sleeping  apart- 
ments allotted  for  that  purpose,  the  irreverent  glances  of 
the  curious  gazers  without  would  not  have  failed  to  wander 
through  the  innumerable  interstices  of  the  frail  structures. 
As  it  was,  many  mistakes  were  unavoidably  made.  Pious 
brethren,  and  even  occasionally  an  inspired  preacher, 
might  be  seen  retreating  hastily  from  those  private  apart- 
ments, having  inadvertently  turned  to  the  left  when  they 
should  have  gone  to  the  right.  A  word  of  pious  explana- 
tion and  apology  sufficed  to  reassure  the  startled  dames. 
But  into  others  of  these  sleeping  huts  companies  of  young 
ladies  and  gentlemen  were  ushered  for  the  purpose  of  pre- 
liminary exercises.  They  groped  their  way  to  the  rude 
benches  placed  for  the  purpose,  and  sat  indiscriminately 
together,  attuning  their  voices  in  sweet  accord  preparatory 
for  the  duties  of  the  evening.  As  there  were  no  lights,  of 
course  their  books  were  not  opened ;  but  in  the  far  West 
the  girls  and  boys  commit  to  memory  all  the  hymns  they 
sing  in  public. 

Into  one  of  these  felicitous  circles  Nap  and  Jack  were 
ushered,  and  each  found  himself  under  the  necessity  of 

squeezing  down  upon  a  seat  in  a  very  narrow  space  between 

7* 


78  LIFE   AND  ADVENTURES 

two  young  girls,  who  seemed  to  strive  desperately  to  make 
room  for  them.  Who  they  were,  our  young  gentlemen 
had  no  means  at  first  of  ascertaining,  for  it  w^as  as  dark  as 
Erebus,  and  as  hot  as — there  was  any  necessity  for.  But 
soon  the  one  that  separated  the  boys,  she  being  imme- 
diately on  Nap's  left  and  on  Jack's  right,  was  recognised 
by  her  voice.  It  was  Sally  Weighton,  and  she  sang  like  a 
nightingale.  As  Nap  was  likewise  a  famous  singer,  she 
had  determined  to  have  him  at  her  side ;  and  as  Jack 
seemed  to  be  moved  with  spiritual  influences,  she  deemed 
it  requisite  to  have  him  near  at  hand  also,  that  he  might 
receive  the  full  effect  of  their  holy  symphony.  Hence 
she  contrived  to  be  between  them.  In  the  rear,  on  a 
parallel  bench,  for  benches  were  placed  across  the  con- 
tracted floor  within  a  foot  of  each  other,  at  the  suggestion 
of  the  presiding  elder,  who  intimated  that  the  greater  the 
number  of  persons  present,  the  greater  would  be  the  safety, 
sat  the  famous  Polly  Hopkins,  in  demure  silence,  and  pre- 
serving for  some  unfathomed  purpose  a  strict  incognito. 
And  in  front,  but  with  his  back  to  our  party,  for  they  sat 
w^ith  their  faces  the  same  way,  was  Mr.  Darling,  Nap's 
precious  model  preacher. 

As  the  exercises  progressed,  if  the  devil  had  unvailed 
the  party,  and  with  flaming  torches  had  exposed  the 
thoughts  and  attitudes  of  the  black  sheep  which  had  found 
admission  into  that  little  fold,  no  doubt  every  pious  mi- 
nister witnessing  the  spectacle  would  have  betaken  him- 
self to  his  legs  and  abandoned  the  field.  Black  sheep  are 
found  in  every  flock,  and  more  than  one  was  present  on 
that  occasion.  In  the  house  of  prayer,  in  the  pulpit,  at 
the  altar — wherever  the  pious  may  assemble — the  devil 
is  sure  to  be  among  them.  And  it  seems  that  at  such 
places  his  most  strenuous  and  desperate  efforts  are  made 
to  resist  the  influences  of  his  Master.  If  he  meets  with 
no  success  at  that  point,  the  crisis  is  over,  and  the  soldier 
of  the  cross  may  exult  in  his  hard-earned  victory.  But 
the  experience  of  thousands  will  attest  that  the  great 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  79 

Deluder  does  not  always  fail  to  snatch  his  subjects  from 
the  very  brink  of  salvation. 

A  ray  of  light,  ignited  at  the  pulpit  where  the  people 
were  assembling,  gleamed  through  a  crevice  of  the  hut, 
and  revealed  momentarily  to  the  astonished  eyes  of  Nap, 
a  picture  which  really  astonished  him,  and  filled  his  per- 
turbed breast  with  additional  emotions.  Mr.  Darling,  who 
sat  immediately  in  front  of  him,  either  had  his  arm  around 
the  w^aist  of  Mrs.  Dickson,  or  else  Nap's  eyes  deceived 
him.  Mrs.  Dickson  was  a  handsome  sister  in  the  church, 
that  had  not  pleased  her  husband,  who  was  in  the  bond  of 
iniquity,  by  going  some  fifteen  or  twenty  miles  from  home 
to  live  a  week  in  the  woods  among  strangers.  Nap  rubbed 
his  eyes;  but  when  he  sought  to  reassure  himself,  some 
interposing  object  had  vailed  the  scene.  But  he  could 
distinctly  hear  some  one  behind  him  give  vent  to  a  low 
mocking  utterance. 

It  is  a  habit  at  camp-meetings,  and  in  other  religious 
assemblies,  for  the  brethren,  when  they  become  sufficiently 
excited,  to  indulge  extensively  in  the  shaking  of  hands. 
The  preachers  themselves  set  the  example — and  doubtless 
it  might  be  a  very  innocent  example,  if  its  indulgence  could 
only  be  kept  within  the  bounds  of  moderation.  But  to  see 
one  of  the  masculine  gender  grasp  a  fair  plump  hand  be- 
tween both  of  his,  and  rub  it,  and  squeeze  it,  long  retaining 
it  without  resistance,  and  only  relinquishing  it  for  another 
with  mutual  reluctance — if  it  be  an  evidence  of  brotherly 
love  and  sisterly  affection,  furnishes  at  the  same  time, 
without  doubt,  an  opportunity  for  the  devil,  who  is  always 
at  one's  elbow,  to  insinuate  a  modicum  of  his  infernal  heat 
into  the  throbbing  veins  of  the  unsuspecting  parties. 

Such  an  example  was  extensively  followed  in  the  dark 
tent  occupied  by  our  young  enthusiasts.  Jack  somehow, 
for  he  was  unconscious  of  the  manner  of  it,  found  Miss 
Sally's  hand  within  his.  But  we  do  assert  that  it  was  only 
a  holy  zeal  that  inspired  him.  He  was  incapable,  as  yet, 
of  being  actuated  by  any  other  motive  than  that  of  a 


80  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

strictly  religious  character  in  such  a  place  and  on  such  an 
occasion.  It  may  have  been  the  same  with  Sally;  but  she 
being  of  the  weaker  sex,  we  will  not  venture  a  positive 
assertion.  But  certainly  gentle  pressures  were  given  and 
returned,  and  no  offence  was  taken.  And  Nap's  hand  had 
wandered  in  the  same  direction.  It  was  dark,  and  hymn 
succeeded  hymn  with  an  unceasing  fervency;  and  the  per- 
vading enthusiasm  had  wellnigh  reached  a  climax,  when 
Elder  Green's  voice  Avas  heard  at  the  doorway,  as  he  pulled 
aside  the  counterpane,  saying,  ^'  Come,  brothers  and  sis- 
ters, sons  and  daughters,  let  us  repair  to  the  stand.  The 
candles  are  lighted,  and  they  are  about  to  sound  the  horn. 
Evil  spirits  may  come  amongst  you  in  this  darkness." 

Instantly  all  within  arose  to  their  feet,  but  both  Nap 
and  Jack  had  their  hands  grasped  more  closely  than  ever, 
and  each  of  them  felt  that  it  would  be  uncharitable,  if  not 
rudeness  itself,  to  be  the  first  to  extricate  his  member.  It 
was  only  a  pledge  of  Christian  brotherhood  and  sisterhood 
in  the  estimation  of  those  present ;  and  so  they  would  feel 
no  particle  of  shame  on  being  discovered  in  that  attitude. 
But  when  some  anxious  mothers  entered  the  hut  with 
lights  in  their  hands,  our  young  gentlemen  made  a  dis- 
covery which  surprised  them  exceedingly,  and  it  was 
fortunate  that  the  eyes  of  only  one  besides  themselves 
perceived  the  extent  and  source  of  their  mortification. 
Instead  of  each  of  them  having  a  hand  of  Sally,  it  ap- 
peared that  she  had  extricated  hers  from  both  of  them,  and 
that  the  boys  were  now  actually  grasping  the  hands  of  each 
other  !  It  is  needless  to  say  that  they  instantly  detached 
themselves. 

Jack  led  the  way  out  to  the  stand,  with  Sally  undis- 
guisedly  holding  him  by  the  arm,  while  Nap  instinctively 
followed,  with  his  elba\v  protruded  on  the  other  side.  It 
was  seized  by  Polly  Hopkins  ! 

"  See  here.  Nap,"  said  she,  "  I  don't  like  this  business. 
You  are  getting  upon  a  spree,  and  there  is  no  telling  what 
may  come  of  it." 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  81 

"A  spree,  Polly?" 

''  Yes  ;  you  are  getting  intoxicated,  and  you  may  com- 
mit some  dreadful  crime  before  you  are  aware  of  it." 

"  What  crime  can  I  commit  ?" 

"  Oh,  /can't  tell ;  but  Satan  might." 

^'  Satan !  Why  he  has  no  business  here.  It  is  alto- 
gether a  religious  excitement.  I  am  excited,  I  admit — 
but  it  is  with  religion." 

''And  it  might  just  as  well  be  with  wine,  or  politics,  or 
anger,  or  love.  I  have  been  reading  an  essay  on  excitement. 
When  one  is  excited  to  a  certain  extent,  he  is  insane,  and 
not  conscious  of  what  he  is  doing.  When  excited  with  wine, 
one  is  ready  for  any  violent  action ;  with  politics,  he  will 
foolishly  hazard  his  fortune  on  the  success  of  his  candidate ; 
with  anger,  he  will  stab  his  best  friend ;  vfith  love,  he 
would  destroy  an  angel ;  and  with  religion,  the  writer  says, 
he  may  commit  every  thing  I  have  enumerated.  lie 
declares  it  was  undue  religious  excitement  that  the  devil 
made  use  of  to  strew  the  plains  of  the  Holy  Land  with 
human  bones ;  to  arm  nation  against  nation,  and  disgrace 
Christendom  with  innumerable  outrages  and  crimes.  It 
was  this  which  plunged  thousands  within  the  flames  at  the 
stake.  This  it  is  which  sows  dissension  between  man  and 
wife  ;  the  one  making  use  of  his  power  to  punish,  and  the 
other  taking  refuge  in  the  arms  of  a  more  congenial  pro- 
tector. It  is  this  which  is  founding,  on  a  gigantic  scale, 
on  the  banks  of  the  Great  Salt  Lake  in  the  wilderness, 
a  community  of  beastly  bigamists.  Nap,  take  a  wild  but 
guileless  girl's  advice,  and  turn  your  back  on  this  pack  of 
pious  inebriates  and  over-righteous  fools." 

"I  can't  do  it,  Polly.  It's  pleasant.  It  maybe  as  you 
say  ;  but  so  far  I  have  had  no  evil  thoughts,  and  have  been 
in  no  danger." 

"  Then  how  came  your  hand  to  be  interlocked  with" — ■ — 
here  she  was  overcome  by  laughter,  and  her  utterance 
failed. 


82  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"  Oh,  ay ! — interlocked  with  Jack's.  It  was  Jack's 
hand." 

"It  was  not  always  Jack's  hand.  I  saw  you  have 
Sally's.     How  was  that?" 

"  Upon  my  soul,  I  don't  know." 

"I  believe  you." 

"  I  don't  know  how  it  happened.  But  I  had  no  evil 
thoughts — I  am  sure  of  that." 

"  No  doubt.  I  will  not  deny  it.  In  the  moment  of 
excitement,  or  in  the  glow  of  religious  enthusiasm,  and 
without  being  aware  of  it,  you  pressed  the  hand  of  the 
tempting  girl  at  your  side.  And  the  reverend  Mr.  Darling 
encircled  the  body  at  his  side.  Neither  of  you  had  any 
evil  thoughts.  I  am  willing  to  admit  it.  It  was  the 
inspiration  of  the  moment.  And  so  an  irremediable  crime 
might  be  committed,  and  what  would  it  avail  afterward  to 
say  you  had  no  evil  thoughts?" 

"  Oh,  there's  no  danger." 

"Then  go  on." 

"  I  will.  That  is,  I'll  follow  Jack.  I  know  he  medi- 
tates nothing  evil." 

"  No ;  he  does  not.  But  I'll  wager  more  than  I'll  mention, 
that  this  religious  drunkenness  will  cause  you  both  to 
commit  extravagant  absurdities,  which  you  will  be  sorry 
for,  and  which  will  bring  many  a  tinge  of  shame  to  your 
cheeks  in  after  life,  whenever  you  shall  chance  to  recall 
them  to  memory." 

Nap  had  lingered  outside  of  the  limits  of  the  ground 
whereon  the  people  were  reassembling  during  this  dialogue, 
and  when  the  first  hymn  was  sung,  the  prelude  to  the 
services  of  the  night,  he  moved  forward  and  joined  young 
Handy,  who  sat  within  the  small  enclosure  in  front  of  the 
stand,  or^ulpit.  Polly  declined  accompanying  him  up  to 
the  altar,  alleging  as  a  reason  that  she  was  not  yet  pre- 
pared for  the  sacrifice,  and  that  she  had  not  faith  in  the 
authenticity  of  the  calling  of  Mr.  Darling  and  one  or  two 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  83 

other  young  ministers  then  present.  But  she  said  she 
would  be  an  auditor  of  the  performances. 

After  the  hymn  and  a  prayer,  Kap's  great  model,  Mr. 
Darling  liimself,  arose  to  preach.  He  commenced  in  a  key 
of  such  altitude  that  in  a  very  brief  space  of  time  he  was 
soaring  above  the  clouds  among  the  cherubim.  Amens  ! 
Glorys  !  and  Hallelujahs  !  were  responded  at  every  pause 
by  the  sympathetic  crowd  beneath,  and  by  none  more 
vociferously  than  Sister  Dickson,  who  occupied  a  seat 
immediately  in  front  of  the  seemingly  inspired  speaker. 
The  growing  enthusiasm  manifested  on  all  sides,  and  which 
was  without  doubt  sincerely  felt  by  hundreds  of  truly 
pious  and  happy  mortals,  was  shared  by  the  aged  preachers 
on  the  stand,  who  smiled  an  approbation  of  the  effective 
•discourse  their  talented  young  coadjutor  was  delivering. 
Devoid  of  guile  themselves,  they  could  not  suppose  that 
beneath  the  manifestation  of  so  much  Christian  zeal  and 
pious  eloquence  in  the  speaker,  there  could  possibly  be 
concealed  a  stratum  of  worldly  wickedness. 

So  great  was  the  effect  of  Mr.  Darling's  sermon,  that  at 
its  conclusion,  many  hands  were  clapping  in  irrepressible 
holy  exultation,  and  many  voices  were  shouting  unrestrained 
iiosannahs  to  the  Lord.  With  some  this  was  the  natural 
and  unavoidable  consequence  of  inordinate  and  ungovern- 
able excitement ;  with  others  it  was  the  force  of  habit  and 
example  ;  but  doubtless  there  were  many  who  indulged  in 
such  excesses  in  the  absence  of  an  involuntary  impulse, 
and  with  motives  of  questionable  propriety.  Nevertheless, 
such  a  scene  was  calculated  to  have  a  powerful  influence 
on  the  younger  portion  of  the  vast  congregation ;  and  if 
the  invitation  to  approach  the  altar  had  even  then  been 
given,  many  a  startled  sinner  would  have  flown  thither  for 
refuge.  But  the  critical  moment  had  not  yet  arrived. 
The  mere  warmth  which  animated  the  breasts  of  the 
multitude  was  to  be  fanned  into  a  glowing  flame,  pervad- 
ing and  irresistible. 

Exhorters,  mostly  youthful   and   inordinately  zealous, 


84  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

were  now  pushed  forward,  until  the  common  ejaculations 
usually  responded  to  eloquent  speakers  were  changed  to 
boisterous  exclamations  and  spasmodic  groans.  Tearful 
eyes  fixed  in  adoration  upon  the  heavenly  vault  above  ; 
seraphic  smiles  beaming  from  wrinkled  faces,  and  endearing 
epithets  mumbled  from  toothless  gums  ;  these,  together 
with  uplifted  hands,  and  robust  forms  writhing  in  uncouth 
contortions,  exclusive  of  the  howling  pandemonium  en- 
compassing them  on  every  side,  were  quite  sufficient  to 
strike  terror  into  the  most  obdurate  hearts,  and  to  induce 
especially  the  youthful  auditors,  not  gifted  with  an  extra- 
ordinary degree  <of  courage,  to  flee  to  any  asserted  ark  of 
safety  that  might  be  pointed  out  to  them.  And  a  hundred 
hands  pointed  to  the  enclosure  around  the  altar. 

"When  the  speakers  ceased  their  violent  exercises  on  the 
stand,  most  of  them  descended  to  the  altar,  where,  as  had 
been  anticipated,  a  great  number  of  the  seriously  affected 
pushed  forward  to  be  saved.  They  were  prayed  for  in 
strains  of  extravagant  ebullition,  which  Polly  Hopkins 
subsequently  declared  were  enough  to  deafen  the  ears, 
and  utterly  disgust  the  one  to  whom  the  petitions  were 
addressed.  Be  that  as  it  may,  a  great  number  of  the 
seekers  of  religion  soon  professed  to  have  found  it,  and 
cried,  and  wept,  and  laughed,  and  shouted  as  well  as  the 
rest.  These  were  pronounced  «' through,"  and  were  di- 
rected to  disperse  themselves  among  the  hardened  out- 
siders, to  assure  them  of  the  marvellous  effects  of  their 
precious  conversion. 

But  neither  Nap  nor  Jack  were  fortunate  enough  to  get 
«'  through"  so  expeditiously.  They  were  conscious  of  the 
weight  of  sin  which  burdened  them.  To  confess  that  was 
an  indispensable  preliminary.  But  then  all  the  prayers 
that  had  hitherto  been  uttered  in  their  especial  behalf  did 
not  seem  to  produce  the  miraculous  change  of  feeling 
which  others  professed  to  experience,  and  which  was  de- 
clared to  be  requisite  before  a  thorough  conversion  could 
be  accomplished.     If  Jack  had  confessed  that  he  felt  a 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  85 

change  within  him,  no  doubt  Nap  would  have  done  the 
same  thing,  for  he  could  easily  have  imagined,  if  not  felt, 
whatever  sensation  his  friend  might  have  experienced. 
For  he  was  in  such  a  whirl  of  excitement,  that  he  was 
capable  of  fancying  any  thing,  and  doing  any  thing.  But 
Jack  would  not  utter  a  falsehood,  notwithstanding  the 
unremitting  ministrations  of  Miss  Sally  Weighton,  who 
repeatedly  implored  him  to  strive  his  utmost  to  obtain 
salvation. 

When  a  temporary  cessation  of  prayers  occurred  from 
the  exhaustion  of  ideas,  words,  and  voices,  singing  by  the 
congregation  was  resorted  to ;  and  in  that  portion  of  the 
exercises,  Nap  could  always  perform  a  conspicuous  part ; 
for,  as  has  been  already  intimated,  he  had  a  tremendous 
voice.  So  he  arose,  after  a  protracted  effort  to  get 
"through,"  on  his  knees,  and  his  voice  was  soon  heard 
above  all  others,  particularly  in  the  chorus,  which  contained 
the  joyful  exclamation  of  "Oh,  salvation!"  But  Nap, 
perhaps,  from  thinking  of  another  species  of  felicity, 
invariably  made  a  long  pause  after  the  Sal — and  then 
pronounced  the  remainder  very  much  like —  Weighton. 

It  was  while  singing  this  hymn,  and  when  moving  about 
in  the  midst  of  the  crowd,  that  Nap  felt  some  one  pluck 
him  by  the  sleeve.     On  turning  aside  he  beheld  Polly. 

"  I  forbid  you  calling  upon  her  name  !"  said  she. 

"  Calling  upon  whose  name?"  demanded  Nap. 

"  Sally  Weighton's." 

^'I  haven't  been  calling  her." 

"You  have.  You  thought,  perhaps,  it  was  « salvation,' 
but  it  was  Sal — Weighton.  You  needn't  think  she  can 
save  you ;  burnt  brandy  wouldn't  do  it,  if  you  stay  here 
among  these  noisy  fools.  You  have  no  idea  how  ridiculous 
you  appear.  Just  step  with  me,  and  I'll  show  you  the 
other  side  of  the  picture."  Saying  this,  she  led  him  around 
to  the  rear  of  the  preacher's  stand,  where  the  discordant 
voices  and  spasmodic  motions  of  a  motley  crew  attracted 
his  attention.     It  seemed  that  a  score  of  negroes  of  both 


86  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

sexes,  not  being  admitted  to  seats  in  front,  had  congre- 
gated at  this  place  for  the  purpose  of  getting  or  enjoying 
religion  among  themselves.  One  or  two  white  exhorters 
had  joined  them,  and  even  some  white  women,  originally 
from  Massachusetts,  of  the  fanatical  school,  had  thrown 
themselves  among  them,  and  contributed  to  the  extrava- 
gance of  the  scene.  Some  were  rocking  to  and  fro,  inces- 
santly shouting  "Glory!"  Others  clapped  together  their 
hands,  and  merely  laughed  vociferously.  Some  prayed, 
and  some  improvised  a  sort  of  jargon  about  rapping- 
spirits,  hoe-cakes,  and  cracking  corn,  to  which  others 
appended  an  irregular  and  inapplicable  chorus.  Thus  the 
medley  of  sounds  was  kept  up,  until  a  big  fellow,  as  black 
as  Satan  himself,  could  no  longer  restrain  his  pent-up 
feelings,  and  he  gave  vent  to  them  by  divesting  himself 
of  his  coat,  and  springing  in  the  midst  of  his  converted 
brothers  and  sisters,  where  he  danced  violently,  alternately 
slapping  his  hands  together  and  patting  his  thighs  in  uni- 
son with  the  motions  of  his  feet.  He  had  not  long  been 
exercising  himself  in  this  manner  before  the  contagion  of 
his  example  spread  among  the  sweltering  women,  and 
several  of  them  joined  him  in  the  dance. 

At  this  point  Nap  turned  away  in  disgust. 

"  How  do  you  like  it  ?"  asked  Polly. 

"  It's  the  ugliest  sight  I  ever  beheld !"  said  Nap. 

"  There  are  worse  scenes  than  that  enacting  on  the 
ground,  if  one  could  behold  them.  Why  not,  then,  turn 
your  back  on  the  whole  concern?" 

Before  Nap  had  time  to  reply — and  there  is  no  telling 
whither  the  mischievous  girl  might  have  conducted  him — 
Jack  confronted  him,  with  Miss  Sally  Weighton  still 
attending  at  his  side. 

"Oh,  Mr.  Wax !"  said  Miss  Sally,  "  they  are  hunting  for 
you  everywhere.  Do  not  abandon  the  altar  until  you  are 
renewed.  And  you,  Polly  Hopkins,  if  you  will  only  go  in 
with  him,  I  will  get  down  on  my  knees  and  pray  for  your 
conversion." 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  8T 

"  I  thank  you  !  But  wouldn't  you  like  to  be  prayed  for 
yourself?  And  wouldn't  you  prefer  to  have  a  handsome 
young  man  perform  that  office  ?" 

"Oh,  for  shame !" 
/*    "No  such  thing!     And  depend  on  it,  your  calling  and 
election  cannot  be  sure  until  you  have  such  a  one  to  pray 
for  you." 

"  Monstrous !  You  judge  others  by  yourself !  You 
outrageous' ' 


There  is  no  telling  what  might  have  been  the  issue  of 
the  rising  anger  of  the  two  young  ladies,  had  they  not 
been  interrupted  in  their  charitable  intentions  by  the 
appearance  of  the  reverend  Mr.  Darling. 

"One  more  effort,  brothers!"  cried  he.  "Go  in  once 
more,  and  resolve  not  to  rise  from  your  knees  until  your 
desire  be  accomplished.  Perseverance  will  succeed,  take 
my  word  for  it." 

"I  suppose  you  speak  from  experience,"  said  Polly. 
■    "Ah,  Polly!"  said  Mr.  Darling,  endeavouring  to  take 
her  hand,  which  she  prevented,  "every  one  has  heard  of 
the  wild  and  reckless  spirit  within  thee.    How  gladly  would 
I  wear  out  my  knees  in  wearying  heaven" 

"  Stop,  now  !  Don't  weary  me  ;  and  if  you  should  ever 
kneel  for  me,  don't  do  it  in  my  presence,  nor  let  me  know 
any  thing  about  it.  When  I  want  any  of  your  kneeling 
for  me,  or  to  me,  I'll  let  you  know  it." 

"Come  !"  said  the  preacher,  placing  his  hand,  in  which 
was  his  soiled  white  handkerchief,  familiarly  on  Nap's 
shoulder,  and  turning  away  from  the  contracted  brow  of 
Polly,  which  could  just  be  distinguished  by  the  dim  red 
glare  of  the  candles  and  torches. 

"Jack,  have  you  got  through?"  asked  Nap,  turning  in 
hesitation  to  his  young  friend. 

"No.  I  can't  say  that  my  feelings  have  improved  any 
since  sundown.  But  I  will  freely  go  with  you.  They 
promise  that  the  next  effort  will  bring  about  the  miracu- 
lous change." 


00  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

<'Come  on,  then!"  said  Nap,  half  angrily.  ^'I'll  try- 
it  once  more.  And  if  I  don't  get  through  this  time,  Mr. 
Darling,  durn  me  if  I  try  it  again  !" 

"What,  what!"  said  Mr.  Darling.  Polly  laughed  out- 
right. The  reverend  gentleman  then  began  to  utter  a 
rebuke  of  the  wild  girl,  as  the  probable  cause  of  the 
expression  which  had  just  fallen  from  the  lips  of  Nap, 
when  she  whispered  something  in  his  ear  relative  to  Mrs. 
Dickson,  and  he  was  stricken  dumb. 

When  our  party  arrived  at  the  place  appointed,  they 
w^ere  met  by  other  stragglers  from  the  fold,  who  had  been 
hunted  up  and  brought  back  by  the  active  messengers  sent 
in  quest  of  them.  Once  more  the  singing,  the  praying, 
and  the  shouting  resounded  through  the  forest.  True  to 
his  promise.  Nap  got  down  on  his  knees  with  a  firm  reso- 
lution to  remain  in  that  posture  until  the  promised  change 
had  taken  place,  or  until  he  should  despair  of  any  such 
miraculous  revelation  being  vouchsafed  him. 

"Now,  brother,  bewail  your  sins  in  tears!"  said  a 
famous  exhorter,  by  the  name  of  Snorter,  who  knelt  by 
the  side  of  Nap,  and  placed  his  arm  around  his  neck. 

"I  can't  cry!"  said  Nap. 

"  My  dear  brother,  consider  the  enormity  of  your  sins, 
and  how  great  was  the  goodness  of  your  Redeemer,  who 
suffered  death  to  atone  for  them." 

"  I  haven't  committed  any  very  enormous  sins,  that  I 
know  of;  but  if  I  have  done  so,  didn't  our  Saviour  suifer 
death  before  I  committed  them,  and  before  I  was  born  ?" 

"Your  sins  have  been  the  consequence  of  the  fall  of 
Adam ;  they  were  entailed  upon  the  human  race,  and  your 
Redeemer  suifercd  upon  the  cross  as  an  expiation  for  all 
mankind." 

"  That  I  believe  ;  it  is  a  quotation  from  Wesley.  I  am 
thankful  for  it.  I  acknowledge  the  infinite  debt  of  grati- 
tude I  owe  him.  I  worship  him,  I  adore  him,  and  I  rejoice 
in  his  loving-kindness  to  me,  a  poor  frail  mortal.     But 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  89 

■wherefore  should  I  weep?     I  tell  you  again,  1  can't  cry 

and  howl." 

1    i'But  you  must  repent  of  your  evil  deeds." 

"  I  do  repent  them.  I  say  I  do,  and  I  tell  the  truth. 
But  what's  the  use  of  blubbering  about  it  ?" 

^' Ah,  my  dearly  beloved  brother,  when  you  have  heartily 
repented  and  obtained  forgiveness,  you  will  shout  for  joy 
in  spite  of  yourself.  Your  eyes  will  open  upon  a  new 
scene,  your  heart  will  expand,  and  your  joyful  feelings 
will  find  expression  like  the  rest." 

:  "  Well,  when  that  takes  place  I'll  believe  in  this  sort  of 
conversion.  Those  who  have  been  converted  tell  me  the 
same  thing,  and  I  have  been  waiting  to  see  it  and  feel  it. 
I  could  jump  up  as  high  and  tumble  down  as  hard  as  the 
rest ;  but  then  it  would  not  be  an  involuntary  business.  I 
am  waiting  to  be  moved  by  the  Spirit  which  they  say  moves 
them  ;  but  it  hasn't  come  yet." 

i'Have  faith." 

^f  I  have — that  is,  in  the  Christian  plan  of  redemption, 
which  the  Bible  teaches." 

"  Remember  the  manner  of  St.  Paul's  conversion." 

"I  do.     He  was  knocked  as  blind  as  a  bat.     Let  some 
great  change  similar  to  that  happen  to  me,  and  then  I'll 
swear  genuine  miracles  are  not  ended." 
■  "Be  not  obdurate.    Beseech  your  Saviour  to  pour  down 
a  flood  of  light  from  heaven  upon  your  understanding." 

'« I  will.  And  I  would  prefer  that  to  total  blindness,  if 
any  sudden  change  is  to  happen." 

Mr.  Snorter  grew  weary  of  his  impracticable  subject, 
and  withdrawing,  ascended  the  pulpit  and  commenced 
thundering  from  the  stand.  His  discourse  consisted  mainly 
of  marvellous  occurrences  he  had  partly  witnessed  himself, 
and  partly  learned  from  others,  and  all  of  them  were  suffi- 
ciently authenticated  to  obtain  ready  credence  witii  a 
majority  of  his  hearers. 

It  was  during  the  delivery  of  this  vociferous  exhortation, 
that  Nap  was  accosted  by  Brother  Keene,  who  had  for 


90  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

some  time  been  kneeling  silently  at  his  side — for  many 
knelt  during  the  exhortation,  seemingly  engaged  in  prayer. 
But  Brother  Keene  had  not  hitherto  addressed  a  word  to 
the  anxious  seeker,  nor  uttered  a  syllable  audibly  in  his 
behalf. 

"Nap,"  said  he,  at  length,  in  a  low  tone,  <'what  do  you 
think  of  brother  Darling's  gray  mare?" 

«'  I've  never  seen  her  but  once ;  but  I  think  she's  a  fine 
animal."  Nap  had  the  reputation  of  being  an  excellent 
judge  of  horses. 

"  How  much  boot  do  you  think  I  ought  to  give  with  my 
bay  horse  for  her?" 

"What,  has  Mr.  Darling  offered  to  swap?" 

"Yes." 

"To-day?" 

"  No,  that  is,  he  merely  wished  me  to  make  up  my  mind 
by  to-morrow.  lie  says  he  wants  a  horse.  And  I  want  a 
large  mare  to  breed  mules." 

"Well,  I  wouldn't  give  him  more  than  ten  dollars." 

At  this  juncture,  Mr.  Snorter  became  intensely  interest- 
ing, and  riveted  the  attention  of  every  one  present.  He 
was  upon  the  subject  of  spiritual  rappings,  table-moving, 
&c.  He  declared  that  a  child  five  years  old  had  moved  a 
large  table  from  room  to  room  in  his  house,  with  himself 
and  wife  standing  on  it,  and  that  the  spirit  of  Wesley  had 
commanded  him  to  go  forth  and  exhort.  He  therefore 
spoke  in  the  name  of  John  Wesley,  and  no  doubt  the  spirit 
of  that  great  saint  was  then  present  in  the  assembly.  He 
besought  him  to  manifest  his  invisible  presence  by  some 
sudden  emotion  in  the  hearts  of  his  hearers.  This  was 
responded  to  by  a  simultaneous  outcry  of  approbation. 
The  speaker  declared  it  was  the  voice  of  Wesley  himself 
speaking  by  the  mouths  of  the  congregation.  But  he 
warned  his  hearers  to  beware  of  evil  spirits.  "  There  are, 
my  beloved  friends,"  said  he,  "evil  spirits  as  well  as  good 
ones.  There  are  fallen  angels  as  well  as  the  pure  angels 
of  God.     The  evil  spirits  speak  by  the  same  mediums  and 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  91 

to  the  same  people  that  the  others  do.  It  is  hard  to  tell 
them  apart.  But  jou  may  detect  them  by  their  falsehoods, 
for  they  are  the  greatest  liars  that  ever  existed.  One  of 
them  said  I  had  thirty  pieces  of  silver  in  my  pocket,  when 
I  solemnly  declare  that  in  one  pocket  there  were  only  a 
few  copper  cents,  brought  with  me  from  Pennsylvania, 
and  in  the  other  there  was  nothing  but  a  hole,  the  bottom 
being  entirely  out  of  it.  I  said  nothing  at  the  time,  and 
only  smiled ;  but  now  I  utter  my  emphatic  contradiction, 
and  defy  the  evil  one  to  make  good  his  words.  As  I  have 
appealed  to  the  spirits  of  the  good  to  bear  witness  of  the 
truth  of  our  cause,  so  I  now  pronounce  condemnation  upon 
the  evil  ones,  and  def}?-  them  to  dispute  what  I  have  said 

in  this  holy  place.     Let  any  one  of  them  dare" He 

paused  abruptly.  The  torch  at  his  elbow  had  emitted  a 
blue  flame,  and  a  sulphurous  odour  seemed  to  spread  around 
the  pulpit.  Again  it  was  seen.  Once,  twice,  thrice,  in  quick 
succession.  The  thunderstricken  exhorter  stood  rooted  to 
the  spot,  staring  with  wide,  protuberant  eyes.  Meantime 
Jackson  Fames  and  TOm  Hazel  maintained  their  gravity 
up  in  the  tree.  Drop  by  drop  the  brandy  from  the  hands 
of  one  fell  upon  the  torch,  while  the  other  sprinkled  down 
the  pulverized  brimstone. 

The  aged  preachers  adjusted  their  spectacles  and  stared 
steadily  at  the  unexpected  spiritual  manifestation.  Snorter 
continued  entranced,  his  nostrils  extended,  and  his  body 
quivering  with  terror.  The  anxious  seekers  below,  still  on 
their  knees,  looked  up  and  turned  pale.  A  profound 
silence  ensued.  For  a  long  space  of  time  not  even  a 
whisper  was  uttered.  At  length,  Brother  Snorter  made  a 
desperate  effort  to  speak,  and  succeeded  in  uttering  only 
these  words : 

"  I — I  acknowledge  I  had  some  bank-bills  sewed  in  the 
hem  of  my  under-shirt !"  At  this  confession,  instead  of 
vanishing,  the  blue  lights  flamed  still  higher. 

t'  This  is  most  extraordinary!"  said  the  presiding  elder, 
rising  up,  but  not  approaching  the  light. 


92  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

"It's  getting  to  be  a  serious  business,"  said  Mr.  Snorter, 
<«  and  I  shall  have  nothing  more  to  do  with  it."  He  with- 
drew hastily,  and  was  followed  by  many  of  the  congrega- 
tion, who  dispersed  precipitately. 

One  glance  had  sufficed  Nap.  He  broke  away  and  ran 
into  the  bushes  as  soon  as  he  beheld  the  blue  blazes  and 
scented  the  brimstone.  Jack  and  Polly  endeavoured  to 
follow,  but  soon  lost  sight  of  him.  Sally  Weighton 
swooned.  But  the  presiding  elder  and  the  aged  preachers 
remained  upon  the  ground,  with  sufficient  valor  to  do  battle 
bodily  Avith  the  devil  himself.  So  they  at  once  plumped 
down  on  their  knees,  and  called  upon  all  present  to  do 
likewise.  They  then  appealed  to  their  great  Master,  the 
Captain  of  their  salvation,  to  manifest  his  power  by  re- 
buking the  evil  spirits,  if  such  there  were,  then  obtruding 
in  that  presence.  And  soon  the  spirits  ceased  to  appear, 
for  the  brandy  had  given  out.  Then  a  yell  of  triumph 
rang  through  the  wilderness.  The  owls  flapped  their 
wings  and  vanished  from  the  tallest  boughs,  and  the  wolves 
in  the  distance  ceased  to  howl. 

In  the  mean  time.  Jack  and  Polly  traversed  the  most 
intricate  paths,  overgrown  by  plum-trees  entangled  toge- 
ther by  densely  clustered  vines,  whence  temptingly  hung 
ripe  and  luscious  grapes.  But  they  did  not  pause.  They 
continued  the  search  for  Nap.  Presently  they  heard 
voices  in  the  deepest  obscurity  of  a  grove  on  the  left. 

<'  Is  not  that  Nap,  praying?"  asked  Polly. 

"No;  it  is  not  his  voice,"  said  Jack.  "Besides,  there 
are  two  voices.  Neither  of  them  resembles  his."  Here 
Jack  stumbled  in  the  bushes,  making  a  considerable  noise. 
The  voices  were  instantly  hushed. 

"Polly,"  continued  Jack,  upon  regaining  his  feet,  "what 
do  you  think  caused  the  blue  blazes?" 

"Burnt  brandy,  which  may  often  be  regarded  as  the 
worst  of  evil  spirits  that  afflict  mankind,  or  rather  that 
men  afflict  themselves  with,  for  the  spirits  could  hurt  no 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  93 

one  if  let  alone.     Jackson  Fames  and  Tom  Hazel  did  it. 
They  were  up  in  the  tree." 

"And  none  of  them  had  the  wit  to  look  upward." 

"None  but  me." 

Footsteps  were  now  heard  approaching  from  the  direc- 
tion whence  the  voices  had  proceeded,  and  a  moment  after, 
instead  of  beholding  Nap,  the  reverend  Mr.  Darling  ap- 
peared before  them. 

"Is  it  possible!"  exclaimed  he,  upon  recognising  the 
young  couple.    "  Kemember,  there  is  a  heaven  above" 

"And  an  earth  beneath,"  said  Polly,  interrupting 
him. 

"And  darkness,  however  impenetrable,  cannot  obscure 
any  thing  from  the  vision  of  the  one  whose  eye  never 
slumbers  nor  sleeps,"  continued  Darling. 

"And  you  suppose  that  the  evil-minded  love  the  dark- 
ness ?"  asked  Polly. 

"Yes.     And  I  have  the  sanction  of  holy  writ  for  it." 

"  Then,"  said  Jack,  "why  did  you  seek  the  darkness?" 

"I  came  to  pray." 

"  And  was  your  prayer  answered  ?  Suppose  we  intena 
to  do  the  same  thing?"  responded  Polly. 

"But  come !"  said  Jack.  "We  are  in  quest  of  Nap.  We 
fear  some  evil  may  have  befallen  him." 

But  he  was  forcibly  withheld  by  Mr.  Darling  as  he  at- 
tempted to  pass  him  in  the  narrow  path. 

"  He  is  not  there.  I  know  it.  I  saw  his  horse  at  night- 
fall tied  to  a  sapling  over  yonder  near  the  spring.  No 
doubt  he  mounted  his  beast  and  whipped  for  home." 

Jack  and  Polly  turned  in  the  direction  indicated,  and 
the  handsome  orator  approached  the  encampment. 

"What's  that?"  asked  Polly,  as  they  drew  near  the 
spring. 

"  That's  Nap  !"  cried  Jack.    "  That's  his  snore :  I  would 
know  it  among  a  thousand." 
-    "And  he  does  snore,  then?"  said  Polly,  archly. 

"You  can  listen  for  yourself." 


94  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

<'  It  is  not  unmusical.  Let  us  pause  a  little  and  listen. 
He  is  safe." 

"But  he  must  have  been  very  sleepy.  I  am  sleepy, 
myself.  It  must  be  near  daylight.  We  are  in  a  strange 
place  at  such  an  hour.     Are  you  not  afraid  of  snakes  ?" 

"No  more  than  they  should  be  afraid  of  me,"  said  she; 
but  she  really  did  seem  to  cling  somewhat  closer  to  young 
Handy.  Jack  broke  through  the  bower  of  leaves  and 
blossoms  by  a  violent  effort,  and  they  stood  over  the  pros- 
trate form  of  Nap,  whose  head  was  pillow^ed  upon  the 
neck  of  his  horse,  and  both  were  sound  asleep. 

Nap  w^as  no  sooner  aroused  than  the  three  were  con- 
fronted by  several  aged  women  on  horseback,  and  among 
them  was  Polly's  mother.  They  declared  they  would  stay 
no  longer  at  the  encampment,  and  insisted  upon  Polly  and 
the  young  men  accompanying  them  home.  The  whole 
party  emerged  a  moment  after  into  the  cleared  space  in 
the  vicinity  of  the  encampment,  where  they  paused  until 
the  horses  of  Jack  and  Polly  were  brought  forth. 

The  aged  minister  was  still  triumphing  over  the  expul- 
sion of  the  evil  spirits,  and  hundreds  believed  that  the 
cessaiion  of  the  annoyance  was  owing  to  the  divine  inter- 
position. But  w^hile  they  gazed  upon  the  scene,  it  hap- 
pened that  Tom  Hazel  w^as  overcome  by  drowsiness.  He 
nodded,  and  his  hat  fell  down  from  the  tree,  and  sin- 
gularly enough  lodged  upon  the  head — a  bald  one — of  the 
devout  minister  in  the  midst  of  his  prolonged  prayer,  if 
prayer  it  might  be  called,  but  it  was  in  reality  a  command 
dictated  to  God,  directing  what  should  be  done,  and  what 
should  be  left  undone  by  him. 

All  eyes  w^ere  now  directed  toward  the  source  from 
whence  this  missile  had  fallen,  and  the  whole  secret  of  the 
disturbance  flashed  upon  the  congregation.  A  rush  was 
made  toward  the  tree,  and  vengeance  was  threatened 
against  the  offenders.     But  in  the  melee  they  escaped. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  95 


CHAPTER  YIII. 

An  intercalated  year,  and  a  short  chapter. 

We  must  leap  over  a  whole  year  in  the  life  of  our  hero, 
subsequent  to  the  adventures  upon  the  camp-ground.  We 
must  pass  without  special  notice  those  periods  in  the 
career  of  Nap  which  were  not  marked  by  any  very  striking 
events,  and  hasten  to  those  occurrences  which  particularly 
merit  the  attention  of  his  biographer. 

A  brief  recapitulation  of  the  ordinary  events  of  the 
year  which  is  skipped  over,  may,  however,  be  necessary 
for  the  more  perfect  elucidation  of  the  extraordinary  ones 
to  follow. 

The  young  merchants  then,  had  succeeded  handsomely 
in  their  business.  It  could  not  be  otherwise  in  a  new 
country,  where  any  degree  of  business  talent  was  em- 
ployed. Everywhere  the  secret  of  accumulation  is  the 
art  of  preserving  what  has  been  acquired.  Anywhere 
one  may  gather  sufficient  wealth,  if  he  can  only  devise  the 
means  of  retaining  what  he  receives.  Thousands  are  poor 
who  have  made  fortunes ;  and  most  of  the  rich  men  in  the 
world  have  become  so  merely  by  dint  of  a  pertinacious 
determination  not  to  spend. 

In  that  portion  of  the  State  of  Missouri  selected  by  our 
young  merchants  as  the  field  of  their  operations,  there 
were  no  inducements  to  spend ;  nay,  scarcely  a  possibility 
of  squandering  what  they  made.  The  expense  of  board- 
ing and  clothing  did  not  exceed  one  hundred  dollars  per 
annum,  and  with  the  exception  of  a  few  demands  from 
itinerant  philanthropists,  and  donations  for  the  build- 
ing of  places  of  worship,  which  included  school-houses 
and  the  salaries  of  teachers,  there  were  no  other  sources 
of   disbursement.      Hence   the   merchant's   profits   were 


96  LIFE   AND   ADA^ENTURES 

added  to  his  means,  and  were  continually  swelling  his 
capital  and  enlarging  his  sphere  of  business. 

Nap's  original  plan  of  commencing  business  on  his  own 
account  at  Venice  had  been  modified ;  and  the  style  of  his 
firm  was  now  N.  B.  Yfax  &  Co.  Joseph  Handy  was  his 
partner. 

Jack  Handy  had  likewise  gone  with  a  small  stock  of 
goods  from  the  head-quarters  at  Tyre  to  the  projected 
capital  of  a  new  county  in  the  interior,  some  distance 
beyond  Nap's  point  of  business. 

i\nother  brother  of  the  Handys,  Benjamin,  had  come 
out  from  Kentucky,  and  was  the  clerk  of  Joseph,  in  whose 
school  he  was  quite  sure  to  learn  correctly  the  mystery  of 
fortune-making. 

So  much  for  the  merchants.  Among  the  rest  of  the 
characters  of  whom  mention  has  been  made,  Mr.  Darling's 
parenthetical  history  demands  some  notice.  The  mare  he 
had  disposed  of  to  Brother  Keene,  proved  to  have  fallen 
short  of  his  description  in  some  essential  particulars.  In 
truth  she  was  quite  a  worthless  animal,  and  bore  no  mules 
at  all ;  and  Brother  Keene,  feeling  that  he  had  been 
cheated,  and  having  obtained  witnesses  to  prove  he  was 
made  the  victim  of  a  deception,  resolved  in  his  indigna- 
tion to  bring  the  reverend  jockey  to  trial.  The  result 
was  a  suspension  from  the  ministry  for  two  years.  Mr. 
Darling  had  likewise  some  kind  of  a  personal  difficulty 
with  a  Mr.  Rogers,  the  nature  of  which  no  one  seemed  to 
be  acquainted  with.  It  occurred  in  the  street  of  the 
village  where  Mr.  R.  lived,  and  late  in  the  night  when  no 
witnesses  were  present.  High  words  and  the  report  of  a 
pistol  were  all  that  any  third  party  ever  heard  of  the 
particulars  of  the  occurrence.  Mr.  Darling  was  found 
standing  alone,  while  Mr.  Rogers,  was  seen  retreating 
briskly  to  the  inn.  Who  fired  the  pistol  no  one  could 
tell,  since  the  parties  themselves  would  say  nothing  on  the 
subject  But  it  was  surmised  that  the  preacher  had  fired 
at  his  assailant,  else  why  should  the  latter  have  been  seen 


OP  A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  97 

hastily  retreating  ?  At  all  events,  the  occurrence  did  the 
parson  no  good  at  his  trial;  and  he  submitted  silently 
to  the  verdict  passed  upon  him.  He  then  became  a 
temperance  lecturer,  and  advocate  of  the  Maine  Liquor 
Law. 

Tom  Hazel  still  prowled  about  the  country,  hunting  and 
fishing,  and  some  said  co-operating  with  the  "bogus" 
money  manufacturers.  Jackson  Fames  had  not  been  seen 
since  the  night  he  acted  as  a  medium  at  the  camp-meeting. 
Neither  had  Mr.  Snorter's  fine  horse  been  heard  of  since 
that  eventful  night.  Fames,  it  was  supposed,  had  stolen 
him  and  made  his  escape  into  the  Indian  territory,  or 
beyond  the  limits  of  the  State  in  the  south,  where  the  horse 
thieves  and  counterfeiters  were  supposed  to  have  their 
head-quarters. 

Polly  Hopkins  had  frequently  appeared  on  the  tapis, 
always  the  same  in  spirits,  and  ever  delighting  in  her 
peculiar  species  of  feminine  adventure.  On  more  than  one 
occasion  she  had  wellnigh  induced  Nap  to  forget  his 
honour  and  forego  his  Molly.  Even  Jack  had  been  more 
than  once  half  bewitched  by  her,  though  firmly  resolved 
never  to  commit  himself  to  another  until  he  had  once 
more  beheld  his  first  love,  the  absent  Kate.  But,  as  Polly 
had  foretold,  both  he  and  Nap  subsequently  became 
heartily  ashamed  of  the  parts  they  had  enacted  during  the 
hurricane  of  excitement  at  the  camp-meeting.  Jack 
especially  avoided  Sally  Weighton  ever  after,  because  she 
reminded  him  of  the  extravagances  of  that  night,  and. 
indeed,  had  contributed  to  promote  them. 


98  -    LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 


CHAPTER  IX. 

The  new  city  in  the  West — Nap  hunts  a  turkey  and  kills  a  bitch — Tried 
by  Squire  Nix — The  barrel  of  mackerel. 

The  sun  arose  in  great  glory,  and  cast  its  magnificent 
horizontal  rays  upon  the  tall  spires  of  Venice — the  wes- 
tern Venice — the  majestic  spires  being  those  of  nature's 
own  production,  viz.  the  oaks,  the  elms,  the  pecans,  and 
the  cottonwoods.  And  it  must  be  owned  that  Nap's  city 
in  the  swamp  could  not  as  yet  boast  of  more  than  three 
houses.  One  of  them  was  the  store,  another  was  the 
tavern  at  which  he  boarded,  kept  by  Mr.  Samuel  Marsh, 
a  great  stutterer,  and  the  last  was  a  blacksmith's  shop, 
owned  and  worked  by  the  reverend  John  Smith,  a  Camp- 
bellite  Baptist  preacher.  Nap  had  given  Smith  and 
Marsh  a  title  to  the  lots,  upon  condition  that  they  would 
build  upon  them  and  occupy  them.  If  they  abandoned 
them,  the  property  was  to  revert  to  the  original  owner, 
together  with  the  improvements  erected  thereon. 

They  called  Nap  a  fool  when  he  bought  the  ground,  for 
it  lay  between  a  slough  and  the  river,  and  its  limits  were 
bounded  by  them.  But  he,  having  a  hint  from  Colonel 
Benton,  cared  not  what  all  the  world  besides  might  say. 
And  in  pursuance  of  the  hint  from  the  great  man,  he 
caused  it  to  be  known  that  every  alternate  lot  was  at  the 
service,  "in  fee  simple  and  for  ever"  as  it  was  termed,  of 
any  one  would  undertake  to  erect  a  building  thereon. 

But  on  the  morning  that  the  sun  shone  so  resplendently 
upon  the  trees.  Nap  was  absent  from  the  store,  about  half 
a  mile  distant,  in  pursuit  of  a  flock  of  wild  turkeys,  which 
had  run  past  his  door  when  he  was  sweeping  the  litter  and 
dust  from  the  steps  into  the  street.  Every  time  he  at- 
tempted to  take  aim  at,  them,  it  seemed  they  dodged,  or 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  99 

thrust  their  heads  down  and  ran  along  under  cover  of  the 
sheltering  bushes.  He  pursued;  but  ever  when  he  had 
overtaken  them,  and  was  upon  the  eve  of  pulling  the 
trigger,  down  went  their  heads  again  entirely  out  5f  sight. 
Thus  they  had  led  him  so  great  a  distance  from  the  store, 
and  he  grew  quite  angry  at  their  conduct ;  for  a  day  or" 
two  before,  a  fine  budk  had  stood  perfectly  still  while  he 
shot  him  from  his  own  door. 

He  followed  the  ''  contrary  gobblers,"  as  he  termed  them, 
across  the  narrow  tract  of  bottom  or  alluvial  land,  and 
ascended  the  bluff  in  the  vicinity  of  Jack  Grove's  cabin 
on  the  summit.  Jack  Grove  was  not  Nap's  friend,  and  did 
not  deal  with  him,  but  preferred  riding  to  Tyre  for  his 
goods.  The  reason  of  this  enmity  or  coldness  was  simply 
because  Grove  wanted  to  buy  the  land  that  Nap  had  pur- 
chased, but  lacked  the  money  to  pay  for  it,  and  hence  he 
considered  himself  an  ill-used  man.  And  when  Nap  passed 
near  the  little  cornfield.  Grove's  brindle  cur  bitch  ran  at 
him  and  attempted  to  bite  him.  Nap  thought  her  master 
had  set  her  at  him,  for  Grove  himself  was  in  the  field,  ac- 
companied by  Brother  Keene,  who  had  never  forgiven  him 
for  divulging  what  had  passed  between  them  on  the  camp- 
ground in  relation  to  Darling's  mare,  (and  which  had  ever 
since  been  a  standing  joke  at  K.'s  expense,) — and  by  Tom 
Hazel,  whom  he  had  off'ended  because  he  would  not  trust 
him  for  three  yards  of  blue  satinet  to  make  him  a  new  pair 
of  breeches.  Seeing  these  persons  standing  by  the  side 
of  Grove,  and  being  incensed  at  the  perverse  conduct  of 
the  turkeys  in  so  long  eluding  him,  he  became  inflamed 
against  the  bitch ;  and  as  she  persisted  in  the  attempt  to 
seize  him,  he  levelled  his  gun  and  fired  at  her.  She  fell 
instantly.  Her  master  approached,  uttering  awful  male- 
dictions, while  Nap  charged  his  gun  with  as  much  expe- 
dition as  possible,  and  retreated  homeward. 

When  he  arrived  at  the  inn,  he  informed  Marsh  and 
Smith  of  the  occurrence,  and  although  they  were  both 
rejoiced  to  hear  of  the  death  of  the  bitch,  because  she  was 


100  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

a  notoriously  dangerous  animal,  yet  they  feared  the  impla-  ' 
cable  nature  of  Grove  would  probably  lead  him  into  litiga- 
tion ;  and  they  knew  from  Nap's  description  of  the  locality 
that  the  affair  must  have  taken  place  on  the  land  belonging 
to  Grove.  If  it  had  been  in  a  public  thoroughfare,  the 
shooting  would  have  been  justifiable. 

And,  in  effect,  before  they  had  risen  from  the  breakfast- 
table,  the  arrival  of  Grove  was  announced.  He  was 
accompanied  by  Brother  Keene,  Tom  Hazel,  and  Squire 
Nix.  Nap,  attended  by  Marsh  and  Smith,  met  them  in 
bar-room.  The  principals  were  sullen,  and  their  friends 
silent.  Not  a  word  was  spoken  for  several  minutes  ;  but  all 
sat  quite  still,  mutely  looking  at  each  other  or  on  the  floor. 

"  Boys,  let  me  pint  out  the  way  that'll  settle  the  hash 
betwixt  you,"  at  length  proposed  Squire  Nix,  a  tall,  gaunt, 
gray-haired  old  woodman.  "  I'm  both  your  friends,  a.nd  , 
would  as  lief  as  not  be  both  your  fathers,  if  you'd  take  a 
notion  to  some  of  my  darters.  What  say  you  ?  Heads 
or , tails — a  friendly  fixin'  of  it  up,  or  a  right-down  cat-a- 
mouse  law-fight  ?  If  a  reg'lar  jury  were  to  gin  you.  Jack 
Grove,  twenty  dollars  damages,  it  would  cost  you  ten 
dollars  of  it  to  pay  expenses.  I  know  it  would.  My  law 
experience  proves  it.  No  jury  in  this  here  county  would 
gin  you  damages  and  make  Nap  pay  costs  too,  because  it* 
was  an  unpopular  dog" 

"Wouldn't  they  go  according  to  law?"  asked  Grove, 
interrupting  him. 

i'And  justice — law  and  justice,"  said  the  Squire. 

"  Th-tha-that's  it  I"  said  Sam  Marsh,  the  innkeeper. 
"  If  they  gin  yo-you  d-da-^am-ages,  they'll  g-gi-gin 
him  c-co-costs."  The  last  words  were  jerked  out  vio- 
lently. 

"  Say,  boys — heads  or  tails  !"  and  the  Squire  threw  up 
a  dollar. 

"Heads  !"  said  Nap. 

"Heads  it  is  !"  said  the  Squire.  "Now  if  you  don't 
agree,  Jack,  you  won't  even  git  damages." 


OF    A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  101 

"  Heads  let  it  be,  then.  You  know  the  law,  Squire. 
Here's  my  witnesses.  Swear  'em.  But  mind,  there's  to 
be  no  costs." 

<'  No  ;  I'll  not  charge  any  thing  for  my  sarvices.  All  I 
want  is  to  make  peace  'twixt  neighbours.  Come,  Brother 
Keene,  and  you,  Tom  Hazel,  come  here  and  kiss  the 
book."     And  the  Squire  swore  them  both  on  the  Bible. 

The  witnesses  swore  positively  that  they  had  seen  Nap 
kill  the  bitch  ;  and  that  it  was  done  on  Grove's  premises. 

"  Now,  Nap,  it's  your  turn  to  hear  my  speech.  You 
have  been  guilty  of  a  high  trespass  in  going  on  his  pro- 
perty and  killing  his  bitch  without  leave  or  license.  The 
law  is  agin  you,  as  sure  as  you  set  there.  And  if  this 
scrape  was  to  git  into  the  hands  of  the  lawyers,  they'd  be 
sartain  to  pull  a  double  X  out  of  you — ten  for  fees,  and 
ten  for  damages.  You  couldn't  git  out  of  it  no  way  you 
could  fix  it.  Now  I  don't  insinuate  that  you  done  it  a 
malicious  propensity — no,  durned  clear  of  it.  It  isn't  in 
your  natur.  But  you  done  it — the  witnesses  swore  to  it 
pine-blank.  Well,  now,  what  can  I  do  ?  I  don't  wish  to 
have  you  mad  with  me — I  don't  want  to  stop  gwien  to 
your  store  o'  Saturdays,  and  buying  my  fixens  as  hitherto- 
fore.     You  won't  be  mad,  will  you.  Nap  ?" 

"  No,  Squire.  Say  your  say,  and  I'll  submit  to  it  as  a 
good  citizen  ought.  And  then  I  want  you  to  go  over  with 
me  and  see  a  barrel  of  fish  opened.  Your  wife,  I  know, 
likes  mackerel." 

<'  To  death  !  She  does  !  Yes,  you  are  a  good  citizen — 
an  honest  man,  and  a  smart  man.  I'd  vote  for  you  to  go 
to  Congress.  But  Nap,  I  must  do  my  duty,  though  it 
goes  mightily  agin  the  grain  this  time.  I'm  mighty 
sorry — but  you've  got  into  a  scrape.  You're  in  the  mud, 
Nap ;  another  step  forward,  and  you'd  be  in  the  mire. 
Retreat,  Nap ;  let  me  help  you.  I'll  lift  you  out  as  easy 
as  I  can.  Only  one  foot  is  in  it  now — if  you  were  to  go 
on,  both  feet  would  be  in  it.     This  lawing  is  a  durned 

9* 


102  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

dirty  business.  Well,  Nap,  with  a  clean  conscience,  the 
best  thing  I  can  do  for  you,  is  to  say  ten  dollars." 

"Thank  you,  Squire!"  said  Nap.  "I'll  pay  it,  and 
•will  never  think  the  worse  of  you." 

"  I  know'd  it ! — Nap,  you're  a  noble  fellow !  and  if 
Grove  don't  shake  hands  with  you,  I'll  lick  him  the  first 
time  I  catch  him  where  there  ain't  no  witnesses." 

"  Here's  my  hand,"  said  Grove. 

"  And  here's  the  money,"  said  Nap,  paying  it.  "But 
before  I  knock  open  the  barrel  of  mackerel,  I  want  to  see 
where  I  struck  the  bitch.  Stay  here.  Squire,  till  I  come 
back.     Won't  you  go  with  me,  Sam  ?" 

Nap  returned  with  Grove  to  his  house,  accompanied  by 
Sam  Marsh,  Brother  Keene,  and  Tom  Hazel.  And,  to 
their  utter  astonishment,  they  found  the  bitch  alive,  and 
lying  in  the  yard,  whither  she  had  come  without  assistance. 

"N-no-now,  Nap  !"  said  Sam,  plucking  Nap  aside,  after 
they  had  been  gazing  some  time  at  the  wounded  animal. 
"N-Na-Nap  !  n-no-now  you've  g-got  'em  on  the  hi-hip  ! 
S-su-sue  'em  f-for  p-per-perjury  !" 

"  I  will !  See  here.  Brother  Keene,  Tom  Hazel,  and  the 
whole  batch  of  you  I  You  swore  I  killed  the  bitch. 
She's  alive !  'Twas  perjury.  You  know  where  I  can 
send  you  to,  now  I" 

"  To  Jef-Jef-Jefferson  C-ci-city,  J  th-thi-think  !"  said 
Marsh.  Keene  and  Grove  were  temperance  men,  and 
Marsh  wouldn't  trust  Hazel  at  his  bar. 

Grove  and  his  party  thought  of  the  penitentiary.  They 
turned  pale,  and  trembled  a  great  deal. 

"L-1-letme  to-toss  up,  and  m-me-mend  it  all,"  con- 
tinued Marsh,  taking  a  small  coin  from  his  pocket. 

"  Go  ahead !"  said  Keene  and  Hazel. 

"Heads  !"  said  Grove. 

"  He-a-ds  it  is  !"  said  Marsh. 

"  Honour  bright !  Now  Marsh,  make  peace  betwixt 
neighbours,"  said  Grove. 

<'P^p-^pay  him  b-^ba-back  the  t-ten  d-dol-lars,  then  !" 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  108 

It  was  done.  And  declaring  lie  was  satisfied,  and 
pledging  himself  not  to  prosecute  any  of  them  for  perjury. 
Nap  returned  with  Marsh  to  town,  where  they  were  soon 
after  joined  by  the  discomfited  party,  who  required  a 
written  obligation  not  to  prosecute  them.  It  was  given, 
and  then  they  retired  seemingly  well  satisfied. 

Nap  proceeded  to  open  the  barrel  of  mackerel.  Both 
Nix  and  Marsh  eagerly  awaited  the  result.  Nap,  in  full 
confidence  of  the  superiority  of  the  article,  a  great  luxury 
in  the  West,  spoke  in  high  terms  of  its  quality,  as  he  was 
in  the  habit  of  doing  of  every  thing  purchased  of  Joseph 
Handy  at  Tyre,  whence  this  barrel  had  been  procured. 
He  had  indeed  selected  it  himself,  a  few  days  before,  from 
among  many  barrels  in  the  w^areroom. 

After  some  vain  attempts  to  loosen  the  hoops  with  a 
hammer.  Nap  seized  the  axe,  and  with  a  desperate  blow 
knocked  in  the  head.  But  such  was  the  impetuosity  of  the 
blow,  that  the  brine  was  splashed  in  every  direction,  and 
of  course  upon  the  clothes  and  in  the  faces  of  all  present. 

"  Never  mind  that !"  said  Nap,  removing  the  fragments 
of  the  heading;  "it  shows  how  well  the  fish  have  been 
preserved.  Sometimes  we  find  them  uncovered  and  dry, 
and  of  course  they  are  good  for  nothing.  I'll  show  you 
these."  He  then  threw  off  his  coat  and  rolled  up  his 
shirt-sleeves.  "Look  here,"  said  he,  thrusting  in  his 
hand.  But  he  caught  no  fish.  "  They  are  farther  down," 
he  continued,  plunging  his  arm  deeper,  and  feeling  about 
in  every  direction.  Still  no  fish.  He  even  reached  the 
bottom,  but  with  the  same  result. 

"  Well !"  said  he,  withdrawing  his  arm,  streaming  with 
the  liquid.  "  That  beats  all  the  brine  I  ever  saw  or 
heard  of.  It  is  the  best  that  ever  was  made.  Just 
think  of  it !     It  was  so  strong  it  ate  up  all  the  fish !" 

His  auditors  stared  in  wonder.  Then  Marsh,  taking  up 
a  piece  of  the  heading  and  scrutinizing  it  closely,  suc- 
ceeded in  deciphering  the  following  words  :  "  Train  Oil." 

"What !     Let  me  see  !"  cried  Nap,  taking  the  heading 


104  LIFE    AND    ADVENTURES 

and  reading  the  words.     <' Well !  it  wasn't  brine,  after  all. 
Wliat  a  mistake  !     And  now  we  have  no  fish." 

"But  we  have  a  mighty  good  fish-tale,''  said  Squire 
Nix.  "Well,  give  me  some  powder  and  lead,  and  I'll  let 
vou  off  this  time." 


CHAPTER  X. 


Spouting  on  Temperance,  and  political  speeches — The  "  Jackson  Reso* 
lutions" — Colonel  Benton  on  the  stand — Major  Jackson  replies — A 
telegraphic  despatch — Colonel  B.  on  National  Conventions — A  rat 
killed. 

The  next  day  was  Saturday,  and  a  great  crowd  was  to  be 
in  town  to  hear  Mr.  Darling  deliver  a  lecture  on  the  subject 
of  Temperance.  Such  gatherings  are  always  promoted 
by  the  merchants  and  the  politicians.  Mr.  Darling  was 
the  favourite  and  friend  of  Nap,  and  the  appointment  to 
speak  on  the  subject  above  mentioned  was  in  pursuance  of ; 
the  latter's  suggestion.  Many  pounds  of  tobacco  and. 
yards  of  calico  are  sold  on  such  occasions.  ' 

But  Mr.  Darling  was  likewise  a  Democrat  of  the  deepest^ 
dye,  and  he  had  noti-fied  Colonel  Benton,  who  was  stump-4 
ing  the  State  against  the  "Jackson  Resolutions,"  of  theV 
time  and   place  of  the   meeting.     And  Marsh,  who  wasr 
devoted  to  the  interests  of  Major  Jackson,  had  likewise^ 
despatched  information  to  him.     While  Nap,  who  owned 
he  was  a  Whig   at  heart  while  politically  preaching   De- 
mocracy, for  the  purpose  of  contributing  to  the  excitement, 
and  swelling  the  number  of  auditors,  had  secretly  sent' 
notes  of  invitation  to  Mr.  Miller,  of  Boonville,  the  Whig 
candidate  for  Congress  ;  to  Claude  Jones,  the  miscellaneous 
orator  and  poet,  and  to  Colonel  Birch,  a  famous  and  able 
anti-Benton  stump-speaker. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  105 

At  an  early  hour,  Mr.  Darling,  with  the  entire  approba- 
tion of  Nap,  seated  himself  in  a  commodious  split-bottomed 
chair  in  front  of  the  store,  and  leaned  back  against  the 
wall  of  the  house.  It  was  a  pleasant  morning ;  a  pearly 
sky  without  a  cloud ;  while  a  delicious  breeze  gave  a  grace- 
ful motion  to  the  elastic  boughs  of  the  trees.  Directly 
in  front  of  the  store  was  a  spreading  oak,  which  served  as 
a  capacious  awning. 

"Nap,"  said  Darling,  as  the  fidgety  merchant  threw 
himself  in  a  chair  beside  him,  <'it  is  just  eight  o'clock. 
Which  will  be  the  most  to  your  interest,  for  me  to  begin 
early  and  finish  soon,  or  to  put  oiF  speaking  until  your 
customers  get  through  with  their  dealing?" 
^    "I  think  you  had  better  begin  to  speak  at  ten  o'clock." 

"  And  continue  how  long?" 

"  Oh,  I  want  it  kept  up  till  night.  They'll  listen  awhile 
and  trade  awhile,  and  stay  all  day." 

"  It'll  be  a  laborious  effort  to  keep  up  speaking  all  day. 
But  I  think  I  may  look  for  some  assistance.  I  would  not 
like  to  break  down  on  the  stand.  But  I  should  hate  it 
worse  if  my  audience  gave  out." 

«  Don't  fear  that ;  I'll  keep  them  stimulated." 

"Do  you  intend  to  keep  open  the  back  door  of  the 
Wareroom  ?" 

"  Yes,  to  be  sure.  And  you  must  not  be  hurt  if  you 
hear  that  I  have  been  ridiculing  your  speech.  Jim  Hue 
will  superintend  the  back  department.  And  he  is  to 
assist  me  hereafter  permanently."  Jim  was  never  known 
as  an  over-zealous  champion  of  the  temperance  cause. 

"  But  suppose  I  give  out  ?" 

"  I'll  stimulate  you.  I  have  a  long  green  bottle,  which 
can't  be  seen  through,  filled  with  fourth-proof.  Put  it  in 
one  pocket,  and  a  large  spoon  in  the  other.  You  know  the 
cholera  is  about.  Take  the  medicine  on  the  stand  by  the 
spoonful.  You  may  take  it  as  often  as  you  please.  No 
one  will  suspect  it  is  brandy  swallowed  in  such  a  place  and 
on  such  an  occasion." 


106  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

<<  They'll  smell  it!" 

"  If  they  do,  then  you  must  have  the  diarrhoea.  That'll 
be  enough." 

"Nap,  I  feel  some  symptoms  now !" 

"You  do?  Then  come  in  and  try  the  medicine.  And 
you  had  better  put  the  bottle  in  your  pocket  before  the 
crowd  arrives." 

The  first  arrivals  were  Colonel  Benton  and  Squire  Nix. 
Nix  was  telling  him  about  the  occurrence  of  the  preceding 
day,  when  they  halted  in  front  of  the  tavern. 

"  You  did  right,  sir.  Solomon  in  all  his  glory  could  not 
have  rendered  a  more  righteous  judgment." 

Such  were  the  words  spoken  by  the  Colonel  when  he 
dismounted. 

"W-w-walk  in.  Colonel.  I'm  g-glad  to  s-see  youp-p- 
pop  into  our  t-t-town  accidently.  Y-your  h-horse  and 
y-yo-yourself  shall  be  f-fed,  and  both  w-w-wel-welcomed 
at  my  N-n-north  American  Hotel,  even  if  I  am  a-ag- 
agin  you  in  p-p-po-politics." 

"  Thank  you,  sir.  But  my  horse  and  myself  have  both 
breakfasted  at  Squire  Nix's.  I  will  take  a  seat  on  your 
porch,  though." 

"  Do  it,  C-co-colonel !  C-colonel,  didn't  I  h-he-hear 
you  s-s-say  the  Squire  d-d-done  right  in  de-de-ciding 
the  bi-bi-bitch  case  yesterday?"  *--^i  f^; 

"  Yes,  I  did  say  so.  It  was  a  neighbourly  office,  an4  a 
wise  decision.  Take  my  advice,  sir,  and  keep  beyond  the 
reach  of  the  fangs  of  the  law.  I  am  a  lawyer,  sir — a 
lawyer  gives  you  that  advice." 

"  I'm  ob-ob-obleeged  to  you.  Colonel.  B-but  haven't 
you  h-hearn  that  the  Squire's  de-decision  w-wa-was  re- 
varsed?" 

"No!"  cried  the  Squire,  starting  up.  "If  any  magis- 
trate in  the  county  has  had  the  impudence  to  revarse  my 
decision" 

"It  w-w-wasn't  a  magistrate." 

"  Who  was  it,  then  ?     That's  all !" 


OF   A    COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  107 

"  The  b-bi-bitch  herself." 

"How  was  that?"  asked  the  Colonel. 
<Not  dead,  by  zooks !    Wasn't  that  it,  Marsh?" 
^That  w-was  it,  S-squire." 

"  Then  Grove  shall  pay  back  the  money!  He  shall  do 
it,  or  my  name's  not  Nix  !" 

Marsh  related  what  had  occurred,  which  satisfied  the 
Squire,  and  amused  the  Colonel,  who  compared  his  own 
case  to  it.  He  said  that  when  the  <' Jackson  Resolutions" 
were  adopted  in  the  legislature,  his  enemies,  the  "  Softs" 
and  the  "Rottens"  believed  he  was  a  dead  dog;  but  when 
they  got  to  their  homes,  they  found  him  alive  and  kicking. 
Nix  yelled  out  an  approbation  of  this  speech  with  his 
whole  heart. 

Just  then,  Jack  Grove,  accompanied  by  Brother  Keene, 
Tom  Hazel,  and  Claude  Jones,  stepped  into  the  porch. 
The  latter,  having  heard  the  remarks  of  Colonel  Benton, 
exclaimed  aloud — 

"  If  the  dog  ain't  dead,  I'll  be  shot !" 

"What  dog  do  you  mean,  sir?"  said  the  Colonel,  rather 
fiercely. 

"  Oh,  the  bitch  !" 

"It's  true.  Squire  Nix,"  said  Grove.  "After  we  re- 
turned the  money,  to  keep  him  from  penitentiarying  us 
for  perjury,  we  went  back  to  the  house  to  see  if  the  slut 
was  badly  hurt.     And  what  do  you  think  ?" 

"I  don't  know." 

"Hanged  if  she  wasn't  dead,  that  time." 

"I  said  the  dog  was  dead — the  bitch  I  mean,"  said 
Claude  Jones. 

"But  the  lion  lives  to  grind  the  bones  of  his  enemies !" 
said  the  Colonel,  involuntarily  showing  his  teeth.  This 
sally  produced  a  hearty  laugh  at  the  expense  of  Jones. 

"What  would  you  advise  me  to  do  now.  Colonel?"  asked 
Grove. 

"Throw  the  bitch  to  the  buzzards,  and  let  Claude  Jones 
wait  upon  them  with  napkins  and  tooth-picks !" 


108  LIFE  AND    ADVENTURES 

Convulsive  roars  of  laughter  followed. 

"Oh  yes !"  said  Claude;  <'but  the  lion  must  swallow 
his  share."  This  was  thought  to  he  a  good  retort,  and 
was  heartily  applauded. 

"Do?"  continued  the  Colonel,  addressing  Grove.  "I'll 
tell  you  what  to  do.  Bury  the  hatchet  with  Nap  Wax.  He 
did  right,  and  the  law  will  give  you  nothing.  But  go  to 
work  and  scourge  the  nullifiers  out  of  the  country.  Chase 
Fox  Jackson,  Birch,  and  Napton  out  of  the  prairies.  They 
are  worse  than  the  Camanches.  Ask  Claude  Jones  why 
he  appears  here  to-day" 

"  I  know  why  he  is  here :  I  invited  him  to  come  with  me. 
He  was  on  his  way  to  the  Springfield  court" 

"Fudge!  He  was  on  his  way  to  Venice,  to  make  a 
speech  against  Colonel  Benton — and  he  might  as  well 
speak  against  the  bluff  upon  which  your  cabin  stands !" 

"Why  are  you  here  to-day.  Colonel?  This  is  to  be 
a  temperance  gathering,"  said  Jones. 

"Because  I  saw  proper  to  come.  I  have  announced  my 
intention  to  speak  to  every  body  of  men  I  can  find  assem- 
bled together  on  any  occasion.  By  what  authority  does 
Colonel  Benton  address  Missourians  ?  Sir,  I  made  Mis- 
souri what  she  is !  I  made  her  respectable  in  the  eyes  of 
the  world.  She  has  had  peace,  prosperity,  and  no  public 
debt.  I  have  only  to  root  out  a  few  sprouts  of  nullifica- 
tion, and  imprison  some  thieving  bank  officers,  and  the 
state  will  be  purified  again,  as  it  was  in  the  days  of  Gene- 
ral Jackson — not  this  Fox  Jackson.  I  use  no  subterfuges, 
sir.     I  am  here  in  pursuance  of  my  plan." 

By  this  time  parties  were  arriving  from  various  direc- 
tions— men,  women,  and  children.  And  a  proposition 
from  Nap,  that  the  speaking  should  take  place  under  the 
umbrageous  oak  standing  in  front  of  the  store,  was  readily 
acceded  to  by  Mr.  Darling,  and  acquiesced  in  by  the  Colonel. 
Boxes  were  piled  up,  and  logs  were  rolled  around,  so  that 
both  the  speakers  and  the  listeners  were  accommodated. 

Mr.  Darling  was  the  first  to  ascend  the  topmost  box. 


0¥   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  109 

With  his  white  handkerchief  in  his  left  hand,  (a  habit  he 
got  originally  at  Washington  City,  having  once  witnessed  an 
oratorical  display  by  Mr.  Rives,  in  the  Senate,)  and  waving 
the  right  to  and  fro  as  he  warmed  with  his  subject,  and 
recuperated  with  his  medicine,  a  large  spoonful  of  which 
,he  swallowed  every  ten  minutes,  he  contrived  to  inspire 
most  of  his  auditory  with  an  enthusiastic  conviction  that 
the  use  of  spirituous  liquors  was  baneful  to  society,  and 
that  the  vending  of  them  should  be  prohibited  by  law.  To- 
ward the  coftclusion  of  his  address,  his  face  grew  red,  and 
his  elocution  more  animated.  He  complimented  the  dis- 
tinguished statesman  then  present,  averring  that  his 
surpassing  vigour  of  body  and  intellect  might  be  justly 
attributed  to  his  uniformly  temperate  habits.  This  refer- 
ence to  Missouri's  greatest  man,  undoubtedly  produced 
the  loudest  outburst  of  applause  that  had  hitherto  been 
heard.  Such  an  opportunity  was  not  to  be  lost.  And  so 
the  lecturer,  finding  his  medicine  was  exhausted,  and  com- 
plaining that  there  was  no  subsidence  of  the  "symptoms," 
declined  occupying  more  of  the  time  of  his  hearers.  He 
requested,  however,  that  some  friend  of  the  cause  would 
take  round  a  hat  and  receive  a  collection  to  defray  the 
expenses  of  its  champions,  who  contributed  their  time  and 
energies  for  the  benefit  of  the  community. 

A  somewhat  lengthy  pause  ensued,  during  which  a 
stranger  mounted  the  box,  and  after  some  pertinent  re- 
marks, for  he  was  sincerely  devoted  to  the  cause,  he  threw 
a  five-dollar  bill  into  his  own  hat,  and  said  he  felt  proud 
in  being  able  to  set  so  good  an  example. 

<' Who  is  he  ?  who  is  he  ?"  cried  many  voices,  as  the  hat 
travelled  about  from  hand  to  hand,  receiving  liberal  dona- 
tions. 

"My  name,  gentlemen,"  said  the  stranger,  "you  have 
no  doubt  heard  mentioned  frequently.  I  am  sure  you  ^ill 
hear  it  often  during  the  ensuing  campaign — but  I  hope, 
nay,   I  believe,  you  will  never   hear  it  coupled  with  a 

10 


110  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

disgraceful  epithet.  I  am  the  nominee  of  the  "Whig  party 
in  this  district  for  Congress." 

"Your  hand,  sir!"  said  the  Colonel,  mounting  up  be- 
side him.     <'  Fellow-citizens,  I  know  Mr.  M to  be  a 

gentleman — which  cannot  be  said  of  some  of  the  renegade 
Democrats,  who  w^ould  sell  you  to  the  nullifiers  and  dis-. 
unionists.  And,  Whig  as  he  is,  I  would  rather  see  him 
Bent  to  Congress  than  any  of  the  <  Softs'  or  <•  Rottens.'  Now, 
sir,"  he  continued,  "I  have  introduced  you.  You  can 
make  a  speech.  This  is  a  mixed  multitude,  comprised  of 
all  parties." 

It  was  not,  it  seemed,  Mr.  M 's  intention  to  make  a 

speech  on  that  occasion.  He  had  been  handsomely  intro- 
duced, however,  and  was  satisfied  to  rest  upon  the  favour- 
able impression  he  had  made. 

Not  so  the  Colonel.  He  came  there  to  make  a  speech. 
He  avowed  it.  He  had  heard  there  was  to  be  a  temperance 
lecture,  w^hich  he  had  no  intention  to  interfere  with.  But 
he  had  resolved  to  address  the  people  after  the  lecturer 
had  concluded  his  harangue.  And  he  always  preferred  to 
address  sober  men,  for  they  w^ould  be  better  able  to  com- 
prehend his  meaning,  and  more  likely  to  appreciate  his  mo- 
tives. Then,  for  an  hour,  he  played  his  tremendous  battery 
upon  the  author  of  the  famous  '<  Resolutions,"  and  all  his 
aiders  and  abettors.  After  which  he  told  the  crowd  what 
he  intended  to  do  for  them.  He  said  that  just  where  he 
stood,  perhaps — certainly  not  far  remote  from  it — the 
greatest  thoroughfare  would  run  that  ever  belted  any  por- 
tion of  the  habitable  globe.  The  importations  from  China 
would  pass  through  Missouri  to  the  East,  to  New  York  and 
Philadelphia,  to  London  and  Paris,  and  all  the  treasures 
of  California  and  Oregon  would  be  poured  into  their  laps. 
Here  the  women  held  up  their  aprons,  their  imaginations 
picturing  the  heaps  of  gold  which  the  Pacific  railroad  was 
to  be  the  means  of  transporting  eastward. 

Then  the  people  were  startled  by  the  sound  of  a  hunter's 
horn,  which  was  followed  by  the  yelping  of  hounds,  and 


OP   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  Ill 

the  "hark  away"  of  their  master.  Presently  a  thin,  tall, 
straight  man  came  galloping  along  the  road,  as  if  in  pur- 
suit of  a  deer.     He  seemed  to  have  no  intention  of  haltinc^ 

o 

in  the  place,  and  really  appeared  to  be  urging  his  reluctant 
steed  toward  the  upper  end  of  the  slough.  But  being 
recognised  by  some  of  the  old  hunters  present,  he  was 
hailed,  and  finally  constrained  to  dismount.  A  shout  of 
triumph  from  the  Antis  attested  their  exultation  at  this 
unexpected  and  accidental  arrival  of  their  champion.  It 
was  Major  Jackson  himself. 

Marsh  having  stuttered  to  him  the  substance  of  the 
Colonel's  animadversions,  with  all  of  which  he  had  been 
made  familiar,  he  mounted  the  box  quite  prepared  to 
launch  forth  a  seemingly  impromptu  reply  and  defence  of 
himself.  Being  a  handsome  man  and  a  ready  speaker,  his 
reception  was  sufficiently  flattering.  Besides,  neither 
Colonel  Benton  nor  his  satanic  majesty  himself  had  the 
power  of  intimidating  him.  He  was  a  man  of  cool  self- 
possession,  and  a  first-rate  shot. 

The  Major  began  by  recapitulating  the  censures  which 
he  had  no  doubt  were  passed  upon  him  in  his  absence. 
This  elicited  an  affirmative  response  from  the  audience. 
Then  he  proceeded  to  refute  them  in  a  strain  of  earnest 
eloquence.  He  proved  that  he  stood  on  the  same  Demo- 
cratic ground  he  had  always  occupied;  he  had  never 
appealed  to  the  Whigs  to  help  him ;  his  Resolutions,  which 
had  been  so  much  condemned,  embodied  the  same  doctrine 
that  was  held  by  Democrats  in  all  the  slave-holding  States, 
and  were  not  at  all  at  variance  with  the  Baltimore  platform. 
He  declared  that  Colonel  Benton  had  openly  opposed  the 
wishes  of  the  party  in  Missouri,  by  his  opposition  to  the 
annexation  of  Texas  in  1844.  General  Jackson,  then 
living,  [here  Colonel  Benton  withdrew  to  the  porch  to  the 
tavern,]  had  attributed  his  political  aberraiion  to  an  addling 
of  the  intellect  caused  by  the  fatal  explosion  on  board 
the  United  States  steamship  Princeton.  Ever  since  that 
event  the  Colonel  had  been  like  a  buck  shot  in  the  eye. 


112  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

He  could  not  go  straight  five  minutes  together,  but  was 
continually  bumping  against  trees  and  rocks,  and  running 
roughshod  over  his  old  friends  and  supporters.  ^'  He  has 
repeatedly  asserted,"  continued  the  Major,  "  in  the  pre- 
sence of  public  assemblies,  that  my  Resolutions,  adopted 
by  the  legislature  of  the  State,  were  concocted  by  the 
secessionists,  and  were  the  result  of  a  nullification  plot — 
Mr.  Calhoun  himself  being  the  father.  Fellow-citizens, 
I  need  not  defend  myself  against  any  such  charges.  You 
know  me  too  well  to  suppose  such  a  thing  possible.  But 
you  will,  I  hope,  permit  me  to  read  a  telegraphic  despatch, 
which  I  have  received  from  Washington,  giving  a  brief 
sketch  of  the  ColoneVs  secret  plots.  I  do  not  vouch  for  the 
truth  of  the  statements.  I  shall  merely  read  them,  so 
that  if  they  be  without  foundation,  the  Colonel  may  employ 
himself  in  disproving  them.  That  will  be  much  better 
employment  than  manufacturing  charges  against  me.  I 
will  merely  state  that  the  author  of  the  letter,  the 
substance  of  which  was  telegraphed  to  me,  has  been  in 
a  position  which  gave  him  an  opportunity  to  obtain  a 
vast  amount  of  political  information.  But  I'll  read  the 
despatch  : 

«  Dear  Sir, 
«Here  is  a  lightning  streak  revelation  of  the  secret 
springs  of  ^' Old  Bullion's"  conduct  and  position.  First 
intrigue  :  Placing  in  Mr.  Van  Buren's  possession  docu- 
mentary facts  which  resulted  in  the  alienation  of  General 
Jackson  from  Mr.  Calhoun.  But  Van  Buren  was  after- 
ward made  President  by  General  Jackson,  Colonel  Benton 
being  repugnant  to  him,  as  he  had  a  bullet  from  B.'s 
pistol  then  rankling  in  his  arm.  Intrigue  second  :  Getting 
control  of  the  columns  of  the  Globe,  making  a  fortune 
for  himself,  and  marring  the  fortunes  of  others.  For 
instance,  when  he  intimated  to  Mr.  Buchanan  that  he  ouo:ht 
not  to  stand  in  Mr.  V.  B.'s  way,  Mr.  B.  remarked  to  a 
friend,  "I  withdraw.     It  is  better   to  walk  down  stairs 


OF    A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  113 

voluntarily  and  quietly,  than  to  be  kicked  down."  Intrigue 
third :  To  defeat  the  annexation  of  Texas  in  1844. 
Intrigue  fourth :  To  be  made  Lieutenant-General  in 
Mexico — nipped  in  the  bud  by  the  Senate.  Intrigue 
fifth:  To  have  the  Buffalo  platform  erected,  and  cause 
Mr.  V.  B.  to  get  upon  it.  V.  B.  did  so,  because  he 
had  reaped  the  benefit  of  the  first  intrigue,  and  thought 
his  prompter  infallible.  Intrigue  sixth:  Finding  the 
last  move  a  failure,  resolved  not  to  identify  himself  with  it 
openly,  but  to  have  it  secretly  understood  by  the  Quakers 
and  Free-soilers  that  he  was  with  them  in  principle.  In- 
trigue seventh:  To  oppose  the  Democratic  administra- 
tion ;  condemn  all  nominating  conventions  ;  announce  a 
book  from  his  scathing  pen  to  frighten  the  great  party 
leaders ;  and  finally  to  be  an  independent  candidate  for 
the  Presidency,  whenever  the  Whig  party  might  be  in  the 
article  of  dissolution.  To  be  the  champion  of  the  great 
Pacific  railroad — whom  Whigs,  anti-administration  Demo- 
crats, Free-soilers,  Abolitionists,  and  Quakers  will  support. 
And  he  will  be  elected.' 

■i' Such,  gentlemen,"  continued  the  Major,  ^^are  the 
statements  of  this  writer.  I  do  not  endorse  them  all,  as 
I  have  not  the  means  of  substantiating  them.  If  they  be 
unfounded,  they  can  be  refuted.  And  I  deem  myself 
justifiable  in  bringing  forward  such  weapons  in  my  own 
defence.  You  have  all  heard  his  assault  upon  me  and  ray 
friends.  Now  let  him  defend  himself.  Fair  play  is  a 
jewel." 

''Who  wTote  that  letter?  His  name!  His  name!" 
cried  the  Colonel,  approaching  with  gigantic  strides,  and 
with  a  flushed  face. 

"  His  name  is  signed  at  the  bottom,"''  said  the  Major, 
with  an  imperturbable  countenance. 

"I  demand  his  name,  sir  !     I  demand  his  name  !" 

"You  demand  it?  I  intend  to  come  down  stairs  when 
it  suits  my  convenience.  And  as  I  am  through  with  my 
speech,  I  will  meet  you  face  to  face  on  the  common  level.*' 

10* 


114  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

«  Calhoun  wrote  part  of  it !" 

"No,  sir.     Impossible." 

"Did  you  not  say  you  held  yourself  responsible  for  the 
writer's  statement?" 

"Did  you  not  hear  me  say  the  contrary?" 

"  You  are  not  responsible,  then.  I  blow  it  to  the  wind 
like  the  thistledown.  A  mere  catalogue  of  goundless 
surmises,  sir.  They  cannot  injure  me.  I  throw  them 
behind  me,  sir,  like  waste  paper  !"  And  before  the  Major 
could  avow  what  he  intended,  the  Colonel  had  turned  away 
again  and  retired  out  of  hearing. 

Another  accidental  arrival.  This  was  Mr.  Winston,  the 
Whig  candidate  for  Governor.  He  came  up  the  river- 
bank  with  a  struggling  cat-fish  in  his  hand,  which  he  had 
just  taken.  He  seemed  surprised  to  find  himself  in  the 
midst  of  such  a  large  body  of  his  fellow-citizens,  who 
deafened  his  ears  with  their  plaudits.  He  was  a  famous 
hunter  and  fisherman,  and  was  in  the  habit  of  traversing 
the  State  alone,  and  on  foot,  plunged  in  abstruse  medita- 
tion. He  was  the  grandson  of  the  renowned  Patrick 
Henry.  Wherever  he  appeared  he  was  welcomed  by 
Whig  and  Democrat,  although  the  latter  would  not  vote 
for  him ;  and  his  eccentric  appearance  anywhere  never 
produced  astonishment.  They  soon  had  him  on  the  top- 
most box,  where  he  spoke  most  eloquently  for  more  than 
an  hour. 

The  last  arrival  was  Judge  Birch.  ^  He  had  a  bridle  in 
his  hand,  and  was  in  quest  of  his  horse,  which  he  said  had 
escaped  from  him  in  the  bushes.  He,  too,  was  a  famous 
Anti-Benton  orator,  and  one  the  Colonel  looked  upon  with 
serious  aversion.  They  had  him  up  on  the  box,  and  he 
was  vociferously  cheered  at  the  end  of  every  sentence. 
[Mi.  Darling  having  departed  with  the  proceeds  of  the 
collection,  there  was  a  constant  stream  of  spirits  flowing 
at  the  wareroom  in  the  rear  of  the  store.]  The  Judge, 
having,  as  he  confessed,  once  been  identified  with  the 
Whigs,  professed  to  know  their  principles;  and  he  pro- 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  115 

ceeded  with  great  dexterity  and  logical  precision  to  show 
that  Colonel  Benton  differed  from  them  in  no  material 
point.  As  he  proceeded  it  was  quite  perceptible  that  the 
Whigs  present  evinced  an  unfeigned  delight  at  the  infor- 
mation, while  the  incredulous  Democrats  withdrew  by 
degrees  and  clustered  around  their  old  leader  in  the  porch 
of  the  inn. 

This  disposition  of  affairs  being  exactly  such  as  the 
Colonel  might  have  desired,  he  indulged  in  one  of  his 
characteristic  conversations  for  the  especial  enlightenment 
of  his  friends.  One  of  his  partisans  having  asked  him 
what  he  really  thought  of  National  Conventions,  he  re- 
plied— 

"  Humbugs  !  Humbugs,  sir  !  National  curses  !  A  game 
of  blindman's-buff !  With  their  eyes  bandaged  they  say 
who  shall  be  President.  To  be  sure,  they  see  under  the 
bandage,  and  cheat,  like  we  used  to  do  in  the  nursery. 
They  take  the  one  who  agrees  to  give  them  the  most  sugar- 
plums. The  purple  is  put  up  at  auction.  The  highest  bid 
takes  it,  sir !  A  humbug,  sir !  An  infamous  humbug ! 
What  sort  of  men  do  they  nominate  ?  A  general  ? 
Washington  and  Jackson  were  generals,  sir  !  They  knew 
how  to  fight.  They  had  the  intellect  and  the  nerve. 
What  battles  have  the  President  and  his  Attorney-General 
gained?  The  first  met  w^ith  mishaps  before  engaging  with 
the  enemy ;  the  last  had  his  ankle  twisted  by  his  horse,  or 
something  of  the  kind" 

i'No,  Colonel,"  said  an  emigrant  from  Newburyport, 
"  he  wounded  a  Mexican — he  broke  one  of  the  enemy's 


"  He  ?  If  he  did,  it  was  a  Donna's,  not  a  Don's  !  A 
parasite,  sir !  In  politics,  a  fungus  springing  from  the 
ordure  of  national  nightshade  conventions.  A  virulently 
poisonous  boletus,  which  is  death  to  the  party  swallowing 
it.  I  sometimes  eat  the  genuine  mushroom  myself;  but 
my  stomach  turns  at  the  deadly  fungi  which  are  coriaceous 
in   texture,  and   have   a  membranous   collar  around  the 


116  LIFE   AND   ADVEXTURES 

stem  !  They  are  poison,  sir  !  No,  sir  !  These  generals 
came  from  the  dunghill.  They  were  not  of  the  fighting 
breed.  But  a  convention  of  conspirators  against  the 
people,  gave  them  the  first  honours  of  the  Republic.  It 
is  a  vile  humbug,  sir.  What  speeches  have  they  delivered? 
One  of  them  made  two  in  the  Senate.  I  rose  up  and  left 
my  seat.  My  brow  burned  with  shame,  sir  !  One  was  in 
opposition  to  the  claim  of  an  old  lady  on  the  treasury ; 
the  other  all  about  removals  from  ofiice.  Spoils,  sir ! 
Spoils  !  Taylor  was  a  humbug  President,  sir, — and  so 
was  Harrison ;  but  they  were  not  humbug  generals,  sir  !  I 
can  put  up  with  single  humbugs,  sir  ;  but  not  double  ones." 

<' You  are  right.  Colonel !"  said  the  Baptist  parson  and 
blacksmith,  John  Smith. 

"  Right,  sir  ?  I  know  it,  sir  !  Let  us  have  Presidents 
and  cabinet-ministers  who  have  laboured  for  the  country 
and  benefited  the  people.  And  you  are  right,  sir  in 
building  a  shop  and  erecting  the  bellows  in  this  town. 
The  lot  you  got  for  nothing  may  be  worth  a  hundred 
dollars  per  foot  to  your  children.  And  these  majestic 
woods  and  undulating  prairies  will  bring  one  hundred 
dollars  per  acre.  Missouri,  supposed  to  be  cast  in  the 
obscure  and  almost  impenetrable  wilderness,  will  be  the 
most  fruitful  and  wealthy  State  in  the  Union.  You  will 
live  to  see  the  time  when  you  may  take  fresh  venison  and 
grouse  to  New  York  in  two  days.  Your  hemp,  tobacco, 
and  grain  [speaking  to  the  farmers]  will  be  taken  to  market 
as  quickly  and  almost  at  as  small  an  expense  as  the 
products  of  Kentucky,  where  the  land  now  sells  for  one 
hundred  dollars  per  acre.  Your  land  will  produce  double 
as  much  as  theirs,  with  half  the  labour.  So,  every  one 
of  you  who  leaves  a  quarter  of  a  section  to  his  children 
will  leave  them  a  fortune.  These  things  are  to  be  done 
by  the  power  of  mind ;  but  men  must  b^  gifted  with  brains 
before  they  can  think.  Humbug  conventions  must  be 
abolished,  and  men  of  intellect,  be  elevated  to  positions 
which  will  enable  them  to  accomplish  great  results." 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  117 

Thus  the  day  was  spent — the  politicians  speaking 
alternately  from  the  box,  some  assailing,  some  defending 
Colonel  Benton,  while  the  Colonel  himself  sat  in  the  porch 
of  the  inn  and  instructed  as  many  eager  listeners  as  could 
get  within  earshot  of  him.  But  if  all  this  expenditure 
of  eloquence  was  designed  to  be  the  sowing  of  seed  which 
were  to  germinate  at  a  future  day,  we  must  say  that 
Nap's  operations  were  of  quite  a  different  description.  It 
was  harvest-time  with  him.  Both  in  the  store  among  the 
dry-goods,  and  in  the  wareroom,  where  it  was  not  so  dry, 
there  was  a  constant  scene  of  activity  and  business. 
While  the  husbands  were  luxuriating  in  the  idea  of  a  vast 
increase  of  wealth  being  brought  to  their  doors  by  the 
Pacific  railroad,  the  wives  were  purchasing  the  material 
with  which  to  array  themselves  in  a  manner  becoming  the 
high  station  they  were  to  assume.  The  only  unpleasant 
occurrence  was  a  confusion  which  seized  upon  the  intellects 
of  poor  Jim  Rue,  toward  night.  He  said  it  must  be  the 
smell  of  the  liquor,  because  the  drinking  of  it  never  had  that 
efi*ect.  After  many  trials  he  owned  that  it  was  impossible 
to  count  the  money  he  had  received  correctly.  He  could 
not  make  the  "pile"  agree  with  itself,  as  he  stated.  The 
amount  of  cash  he  received  varied  between  sixty-nine  and 
seventy-three  dollars,  and  no  two  countings  made  the  same 
result.  "  There's  two,"  said  he,  making  a  final  and  des- 
perate efi'ort.  "No,"  said  Nap, ''it's  only  one."  "Then," 
said  Jim,  "I  see  double  ;  and  that's  the  truth  of  it." 

At  supper.  Nap  was  pleased  to  find  himself  in  the  near 
vicinity  of  the  Colonel. 

"Colonel,"  said  he,  "although  I  am  a  Whig  in  prin- 
ciple, I  shall  vote  for  no  Anti-Benton  man.  I  owe  more  to 
you  than  to  all  the  politicians  put  together." 

"  That's  not  improbable." 

"  It  is  just  as  I  say.  In  the  first  place  I  settled  here 
because  I  once  saw  you  put  your  finger  on  the  map  and 
assert  that  this  point  would  some  day  be  improved.  It  is 
a  central  location ;  and  I  am  selling  more  goods  than  J 


118  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

supposed  I  would.  But  that  is  not  all.  To-day,  while  you 
were  telling  them  about  the  increase  in  the  value  of  farms 
and  of  town-lots,  every  now  and  then  one  of  your  listeners 
slipped  out  of  the  crowd  and  came  to  me  to  enter  for  a 
lot.  I  gave  away  ten,  upon  which  they  are  to  erect  houses 
immediately;  and  I  have  sold  a  number  to  others  who 
buy  on  speculation.  I  am  to  have  five  dollars  a  piece  for 
them ;  and  they  will  amount  to  vastly  more  than  I  gave 
for  the  whole  town." 

^'  How  many  lots  have  you  remaining  ?" 

"  Oh,  I  suppose  there  are  five  hundred,  counting  the 
eighteen  feet  ones  and  all." 

"  Don't  sell  any  more  until  you  find  you  can't  give  them 
away.  A  lot  given  away,  upon  which  a  house  is  to  be 
built,  is  better  for  you  than  to  sell  it  for  fifty  dollars." 

"I  understand.  I'll  follow  your  advice.  Colonel.  But, 
Colonel,  do  you  really  think  Mr.  Darling  was  right  in 
advocating  the  Maine  Liquor  Law  ?  I  admire  him  very 
much;  but  I  don't  think  I  can  go  with  him  that  far." 

"  All  humbug !  They  might  as  well  enact  a  law  pro- 
hibiting the  sale  of  daggers,  because  men  stab  one  another, 
and  sometimes  destroy  themselves  with  them;  or  pistols 
and  guns  in  time  of  peace,  because  men  do  murder  with 
them.  No !  let  them  lecture  the  intemperately  inclined 
against  the  danger  of  indulgence.  Man  is  a  free  agent ; 
and  if  he  resolves  to  destroy  himself,  no  laws,  human  or 
divine,  can  prevent  him  from  doing  it." 

"  Th-tha-that's  m-my  doc-doctrine  !"  said  Marsh,  his 
face  glowing  with  enthr.siastic  approbation. 

"It  is  undoubtedly  a  disgraceful  and  brutal  habit  to 
indulge  in  drinking  to  excess,"  continued  the  Colonel; 
<'  but  the  responsibility  and  the  penalty  must  be  with  the 
one  who  does  it." 

"  Th-tha-that's  m-my  doc-doctrine  !"  said  Marsh,  who 
had  &old  not  less  than  one  hundred  drinks  that  day. 

Q^ho  Colonel  retired  early,  as  was   his  wont.     No  one 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  119 

could  induce  him  to  break  his  rule.  And  Nap  returned, 
much  fatigued,  to  the  store. 

The  full  moon  illumined  the  sky  and  the  earth  as  soon 
as  the  sun  descended  below  the  western  horizon.  Objects 
could  be  discerned  almost  as  distinctly  as  by  the  light  of 
day.  It  was  a  brilliant,  calm,  pleasant  evening.  The 
mocking-bird  sang  incessantly ;  and  had  it  not  been  for 
the  unharmonious  croaking  of  the  frogs  up  the  slough, 
one  might  have  been  enchanted  with  the  scene  and  the 
sounds. 

Jim  Kue  had  fallen  asleep  on  a  bale  of  Chicopee  D 
muslins,  bought  for  less  than  cost  of  a  house  which  made  a 
fortune  by  discounting  its  bills  and  notes  at  the  market  rate. 
Nap  had  not  disturbed  him  when  the  signal  for  supper  had 
been  heard;  and  now  he  found  him  in  the  same  slumbering 
condition,  and  in  the  same  attitude,  not  having  moved 
hand  or  foot.  The  only  change  preceptible  was  that  his 
chin  had  fallen  more  and  his  mouth  was  wider  open. 

Nap  sat  down  beside  him  in  a  chair  and  leaned  back 
against  the  counter.  He  smoked  a  cigar  in  solitude  and 
profound  silence.  But  the  stillness  soon  brought  forth 
one  of  those  pests  of  all  river  towns,  a  large  gray  tom-rat. 
He  galloped  over  the  floor  several  tim.es,  smelling  in 
different  directions  for  food.  Finally  he  paused  near  the 
foot  of  Jim,  which  hung  pendent  near  the  floor,  and  stand- 
ing up  on  his  hind  legs,  actually  began  to  gnaw  the  leather. 
Nap  noiselessly  reached  back  and  grasped  a  two-pound 
weight.  Taking  a  deliberate  aim,  he  struck  the  animal  on 
the  head  and  killed  it.  But  the  missile  had  likewise  come 
in  contact  with  Jim's  heel,  and  awakened  him. 

«  What's  that,  Nap  ?"  he  asked. 

"  A  rat.     He  wanted  to  make  a  supper  of  you." 

"  Let  him  rip.     He'll  have  tough  chawing." 

"I've  killed  him.  Here  he  is,"  said  Nap,  holding  him 
up  by  the  tail. 

"He's  a  whopper!"  said  Jim.  "  Throw  him  out,  and 
I'll  take  another  nap." 


120  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

"  Hadn't  you  better  eat  your  supper  first  ?" 

"  No,  I'm  not  hungry.     Mrs.  Marsh  sent  me  a  roasted 

prairie-hen  to-day.     I  eat  it  when  you  went  to  supper." 
The  next  moment  Jim  was  again  asleep,   and  silence 

once  more  reigned. 


CHAPTER  X. 


Snoring  and  rats — Polly  Hopkins  arrives  when  Nap  is  dreaming  of 
her — Nap  kisses  her  in  return  for  the  loan  of  a  pistol — Nap  hides  his 
treasure — He  is  robbed. 

Nap  watched  for  another  rat.  His  success  gave  him 
a  peculiar  relish  for  the  sport ;  but  he  thought  it  strange 
that  he  could  kill  only  bitches  and  tom-rats.  How  long 
he  sat  watching  we  have  no  means  of  ascertaining.  No 
other  victim  offered  himself  for  his  amusement,  although 
an  abundance  of  them  could  be  seen  in  the  street,  or  road, 
in  front  of  the  store.  The  door  being  wide  open,  Nap 
diverted  himself  watching  their  gambols.  He  hoped  one 
(he  did  not  wish  for  more)  might  come  in  and  be  killed; 
but  being  disappointed  in  this  desire,  he  drew  back  once 
with  the  intention  of  hurling  the  iron  in  their  midst.  He 
restrained  himself,  however,  when  he  reflected  that  he 
might  lose  his  weight,  as  the  lot  opposite  was  covered  by  a 
dense  growth  of  sumach  and  hazel  bushes. 

At  last,  overcome  by  the  exercises  of  the  day,  physical 
and  mental,  he  fell  asleep.  Of  course  he  snored.  The 
rats  in  the  street  paused  in  the  midst  of  their  moonlight 
gambols,  and  standing  on  their  hind  feet,  listened  to  the 
sound.  It  was  familiar  to  their  ears ;  and  no  sooner  had 
they  recognised  it,  than  they  boldly  entered  the  door. 
They  ran  under  the  chair  in  which  Nap  was  sitting ;  and 
they  sprang  upon  the  Chicopee  D  bale  of  muslins,  where 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  121 

Jim  was  sleeping.  They  stood  no  longer  in  fear  of  losing 
their  lives.  Their  present  concern  was  how  to  sustain 
them.  They  mounted  the  shelves  in  thewareroom  in  quest 
of  cheese ;  cut  open  the  bags  of  dried  peaches ;  and 
gnawed  into  a  sugar-barrel.  But  this  sort  of  forage  did 
not  content  them.  They  sounded  a  tattoo  on  some  dry 
beef-hides,  and  another  old  gray  grandfather  smelt  Jim's 
heel. 

At  that  hour,  Nap,  if  he  had  been  awake,  and  Jim,  if  he 
had  been  duly  sober,  might  have  heard  the  sounds  of  the 
hoofs  of  a  horse  galloping  down  the  road.  The  rider 
sprang  to  the  ground  in  front  of  the  store,  and  hastily  tying 
the  horse  to  the  rack,  entered  without  further  ceremony. 
The  dim  rays  of  the  iron  lamp  suspended  from  the  ceiling 
were  not  necessary  to  make  it  apparent  that  Nap  was 
plunged  into  a  profound  slumber.  The  sound  which  pro- 
ceeded from  his  nasal  organ  was  not  altogether  unfamiliar 
to  the  ears  of  the  visitor,  who,  approaching,  and  slapping 
the  sleeper  smartly  on  the  shoulder,  exclaimed — 

«  Wake  up,  Nap  !     You're  wanted  !" 

"Why!"  exclaimed  Nap,  spreading  wide  his  eyes,  his 
arms,  and  his  fingers.  Why — hello  !  It's  Polly — durned 
if  it  ain't!     I  was  dreaming  about  you!" 

"  Indeed  !  And  pray  what  were  you  doing  in  your 
dream ?     Making  me  your  wife?" 

"No,  not  exactly.     But  sit  down,  and  I'll  tell  you." 

"  I  haven't  time.  Make  haste  and  tell  me ;  and  then  I'll 
tell  you  what  brings  me  here." 

"  Well,  as  I  said  I  wasn't  exactly  making  you  my  wife ; 
because  I  dreamt  I  had  done  it  already.  But  about  a 
month  after  we  were  married,  I  received  a  letter  from 
Molly  Brook,  full  of  lamentations  and  reproaches.  You 
saw  me  reading  it.  I  was  weeping  in  pity.  You  came 
behind  me  softly  and  looked  over  my  shoulder,  and  when 
you  saw  who  it  was  from,  and  what  was  in  it,  you  snatched 
it  away  and  put  your  foot  on  it.  I  stooped  down  to  lift 
your  leg  away,  but  could  not  budge  it.     I  said  I  had  no 

11 


122  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

idea  a  woman  could  be  so  strong;  and  you  said  a  -woman 
had  a  right  to  be  strong  after  she  was  married." 

"  That  will  do,"  said  Polly,  laughing  slightly. 

"But  what  do  you  want  to-night,  Polly?" 

"A  pistol,"  said  she,  her  lip  compressed  and  her  cheeks 
pale. 

'  No  !     Jim,  wake  up  !"     Jim  drew  a  long  breath  and 
sat  up  on  the  bale,  staring  at  Polly. 

<'Let  Jim  alone,  and  get  me  your  revolver.  I  have 
been  insulted.  I  have  been  spending  the  day  with  grand- 
ma Fennel,  who  is  really  a  pious  Methodist  Christian,  if 
she  does  shout.  She  don't  know  any  better.  She  kept 
me  till  after  supper,  telling  of  her  adventures,  forty  years 
ago,  when  the  Indians  prowled  through  the  country.  She 
was  the  only  granny  in  this  region,  and  was  always  kept 
on  the  move  from  post  to  post;  and  she  travelled  mostly  in 
the  night,  accompanied  by  the  husband  of  the  next  lying- 
in  wife.  She  entertained  me  by  relating  many  perilous 
adventures,  until  it  grew  dark,  and  then  I  mounted  and 
cantered  away.  I  had  not  gone  a  mile  before  I  met  an 
ill-looking  fellow,  whom  I  thought  I  recognised.  He 
wheeled  his  horse  and  galloped  at  my  side.  I  asked  him 
who  he  was  and  what  he  wanted.  He  said  he  had  many 
names,  but  no  wife ;  and  he  thought  I  would  just  suit  him. 
I  attempted  to  spit  in  his  face.  He  seized  my  bridle,  and 
strove  to  lead  my  horse  into  the  bushes.  Just  then  a  hound 
yelped  close  to  us  on  the  trail  of  a  deer,  and  a  moment 
after,  a  tall  hunter,  well-mounted,  hallooed  encouragingly  to 
the  dog.  He  was  obscured  by  the  bushes,  yet  he  frightened 
my  man  away.  I  then  put  whip  to  my  horse  and  con- 
tinued on  my  way  homeward.  But  soon  the  rascal  over- 
took me,  for  he  rode  a  splendid  steed.  I  warned  him  to 
keep  off,  saying  I  had  a  pistol.  He  did  not  care  for  that, 
he  said ;  and  was  about  to  seize  the  reins  again,  when  we 
came  in  sight  of  Brother  Keene's  house.  He  cursed  the 
house,  and  dashed  into  the  woods  on  the  right.  But  I  had 
not  gone  a  mile  before  he  was  at  my  side  once  more.     He 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  123 

said  he  would  let  me  off  if  I  would  dismount  and  give 
him  a  kiss" 

<'The  infernal  scoundrel !"  said  Nap. 

"If  it  had  been  you,  Nap — or  Jack" 

"Jack  be  hanged !" 

"  But  let  me  go  on.  I  wore  out  my  hickory  switch  on 
my  beast.  The  earth  seemed  to  fly  behind  us.  All  at  once 
the  rascal  drew  back  again,  and  disappeared." 

"Why?"  asked  Nap. 

"Because  we  were  in  sight  of  town,  and  he  knew  you 
would  protect  me." 

"And  I— I  will!" 

"No ;  I'll  protect  myself.  Lend  me  your  pistol.  He'll 
be  sure  to  overtake  me  again,  and  it  shall  be  the  last 
time !" 

"  Here's  the  pistol,  Polly.  But  suppose  I  take  out  the 
bullets.  If  you  let  him  see  you  are  armed,  it  will  do.  If 
you  w^ere  to  shoot  him  sure  enough — Who  do  you  think  it 
is,  Polly?" 

"  Jackson  Fames,  the  thief  and  counterfeiter.  I'll  blow 
him  through  if  he  dares" 

"No,  don't,  Polly!"  said  Nap. 

"Let  her  rip !"  said  Jim.  "He's  a  double-purple 
madder-dyed  villain !" 

"  If  it's  loaded  with  powder,  and  mustard-seed  shot,  it'll 
do.  Polly,  if  you'd  sting  his  horse  with  small  shot  the 
next  time  he  comes  up  to  you,  he'd  get  a  fall,  and  perhaps 
have  a  limb  broken" 

"I'll  aim  at  his  heart!"  said  she,  taking  the  pistol  out 
of  Nap's  hand. 

"Let  her  rip,  I  say  !"  continued  Jim. 

"  I  will !"  said  she.  "  And  now,  Nap,  good-night.  But 
keep  an  eye  out  for  Fames.  He's  back  here  after  no 
good  to  any  one.  If  you  had  asked  me  for  the  kiss," 
she  continued,  archly 

"May  I  have  one  ?" 

"  I  owe  you  thanks  for  the  pistol.     I  feel  secure,  now.* 


124  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"But  may  I?" 

«'  I  must  thank  you,  I  say." 

<'Now,  Polly!" 

<'  Don't  you  understand  ?     Take  it !" 

Nap  did.  It  was  the  first  time  he  ever  tasted  such  a 
thing  in  his  life,  and  it  came  near  running  him  crazy.  He 
trembled,  flew  about  in  every  direction,  and  was  speechless. 
Polly  only  laughed. 

"Let  him  rip,  Polly!"  cried  Jim,  gettmg  up  with  his 
feet  on  the  Chicopee  D  bale,  and  towering  above  them 
both.     "I'll  see  fair  play." 

"Do  you  get  down  again,«Jim,  and  go  to  sleep!"  said 
she.  And  before  either  of  the  young  men  could  recover 
from  the  sudden  confusion  into  which  they  had  been 
plunged,  Polly  had  leaped  upon  her  horse  and  was  gallop- 
ing away.  She  soon  slackened  her  pace,  however,  and  then 
lingered  along  the  silent  road  overhung  w^ith  boughs  and 
vines,  through  which  the  moon  shone  but  dimly.  But  she 
"was  not  molested.  It  was  quite  probable  Fames  had  heard 
every  word  that  had  been  spoken  in  the  store ;  and  if  so, 
he  knew  that  Polly  might  prove  to  be  a  dangerous  cus- 
tomer. At  all  events  he  did  not  persecute  her  any  more. 
And  when  she  reached  the  high  prairie,  and  drew  near 
her  father's  house,  so  confident  was  she  of  her  entire  safety, 
that  she  amused  herself  firing  at  a  wolf  that  ran  aiong 
parallel  with  the  road. 

Nap  and  Jim  finding  that  no  customers  came  but  the 
rats,  closed  the  door  and  retired  for  the  night.  Jim 
occupied  a  cot  in  the  wareroom,  like  a  sentinel  at  his 
post,  guarding  the  spirits  he  presided  over  during  the 
day.  The  rats  never  disturbed  him.  Even  Nap's  snoring 
was  no  molestation.  Day  or  night,  whether  sitting  up  or 
in  a  recumbent  position,  if  he  remained  perfectly  still  and 
silent  for  ten  minutes,  he  fell  asleep.  Happy  man  !  No 
pricks  of  conscience  ever  tormented  him  ! 

Nap  spread  his  blankets  on  the  counter.  Then,  with 
his  thoughts  dwelling  upon  what  Polly  had  revealed  in 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  125 

relation  to  Fames,  lie  made  the  door  doubly  fast,  but 
neglected  to  secure  the  window.  He  usually  left  the 
shutters  open,  to  enable  him  to  see  the  first  streaks  of  the 
morning.  He  always  slept  with  his  feet  toward  the 
window,  and  as  his  head  was  elevated  by  the  pillow,  of 
course  his  eyes  opened  upon  the  trees  in  front  of  the  store. 
When  his  eyes  were  open  it  would  be  impossible  for  any 
one  to  present  himself  at  the  window  without  being  seen 
by  him.  But  he  forgot  that  one's  eyes,  when  one  is  asleep, 
are  of  no  more  use  to  see  with  than  a  couple  of  leaden 
balls. 

And  Nap  had  a  considerable  sum  of  money  about  the 
house,  viz.  one  thousand  dollars  in  silver,  two  hundred  and 
fifty  in  gold,  and  two  hundred  and  fifty  in  bank-notes.  The 
silver,  tied  up  in  shot-bags,  he  placed  in  a  nail-keg ;  and 
pouring  a  few  pounds  of  eightpenny  brads  over  them,  suf- 
fered the  keg  to  remain  uncovered  between  others  containing 
sixpenny  and  fourpenny  nails.  The  gold  he  poured  into 
the  leg  of  a  boot  in  one  of  Conrad,  Thompson  &  Co.'s  boxes. 
The  paper  money,  in  an  old  pocket-book,  was  shoved  under 
his  shirts  and  drawers,  beside  a  long  pistol,  in  a  trunk  from 
Haddock,  Reed  &  Co.,  in  which  straw  bonnets  had  been 
originally  packed.  His  treasure  thus  disposed  of,  he 
thought  there  was  no  danger  of  being  robbed.  He  was 
one  of  the  many  country  merchants  who  believed  there 
was  more  security  in  concealing  the  place  of  deposit,  than 
in  bolts  and  locks  when  the  locality  of  the  treasure  was 
known.  He  scarcely  ever  used  the  same  hiding-place 
twice  in  succession ;  and  on  one  occasion,  failing  to  re- 
member where  he  had  deposited  his  pocket-book,  he 
believed  he  had  been  robbed.  After  searching  in  vain  for 
hours,  he  scooped  it  out  of  a  bag  of  coffee  when  selling  a 
dollar's  worth  of  that  article. 

At  Tyre,  at  Venice,  and  at  Troy,  the  merchants  had 
been  for  weeks  diligently  collecting  funds,  which  it  was 
their  purpose  to  concentrate  at  the  first-named  and  most 
ancient  city  by  a  certain  day,  in  anticipation  of  the  arrival 

11* 


126  LIFE   AXD    ADVENTURES   , 

of  several  gentlemen  from  the  East,  who  represented  a 
number  of  the  houses  to  which  the  three  concerns  were 
indebted.  These  gentlemen  from  the  East,  it  must  be 
noted,  were  not  exactly  on  a  dunning  expedition  ;  but  they 
had  been  notified  that  a  certain  amount  of  funds  would  be 
paid  them  if  they  would  call,  which  they  were  pressingly 
invited  to  do.  They  were  agreeable  companions,  and  not 
averse  to  the  free  enjoyment  a  new  country  affords. 
Among  them  were  ''  Joe"  T.,  Jno.  P.,  (a  famous  singer,)  M. 
J.,  Enoch  H.,  S.  S.  C,  and  W.  P.R. 

It  was  after  midnight.  A  solitary  individual  dismounted 
noiselessly  from  his  horse  some  fifty  paces  distant  from  the 
store.  He  approached  stealthily.  There  were  no  sounds 
without  but  the  hooting  of  owls  and  the  howling  of  wolves. 
Within,  ISTap  was  snoring  as  usual.  Indeed,  from  the  still- 
ness around,  the  sounds  of  his  untiring  organ  seemed  to 
be  unusually  astounding  and  grating.  Yet  it  was  music 
to  the  ears  of  Fames,  who  rose  up  boldly  from  under  the 
window,  where  he  had  stooped  down  a  moment  to  listen. 
He  knew  that  Nap  never  dissembled  in  the  article  of  sleep 
at  that  hour  of  the  night. 

With  a  stick  prepared  for  the  purpose,  the  burglar, 
stooping  down  again  so  that  his  head  might  not  be  within 
range  of  a  bullet,  slowly  lifted  the  sash.  This  operation 
produced  some  little  noise,  and  for  several  minutes  Fames 
remained  quite  still,  and  out  of  sight  if  any  one  should  be 
awakened  within.  He  listened  intently.  Nothing  was 
heard  but  the  continuous  snore,  and  the  occasional  squeak- 
ing of  rats.  The  burglar  then  propped  up  the  sash,  and 
placed  one  of  the  boxes  which  had  been  used  by  the  ora- 
tors under  the  window.  He  listened  again.  His  guiding 
sound,  the  friendly  snore,  assured  him  there  was  no  danger. 
So  he  entered.  He  knew  exactly  where  the  trunk  was. 
Disguised  with  false  whiskers,  he  had  been  among  the 
crowd  in  the  store  during  the  day,  and  had  seen  Nap 
exchange  specie  for  paper,  and  deposit  the  pocket-book 
in  the  trunk  under  the  counter.     And  now  the  full  moon 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  127 

poured  a  flood  of  light  through  the  Avindow,  illuminating 
even  the  sleeper's  features,  and  making  the  burglar's  scene 
of  operations  sufiiciently  plain  to  him  without  calling  in 
requisition  the  aid  of  his  lantern.  He  stooped  down 
beside  the  trunk.  It  was  locked.  He  wrenched  off  the 
hasp,  and  again  remained  still  a  few  moments,  to  listen  if 
either  of  the  young  men  had  been  disturbed  by  it.  There 
being  no  such  indications,  he  deliberately  opened  the  trunk 
and  removed  the  clothes.  The  long  pistol  first  attracted 
his  notice.  He  took  it  up,  and  running  the  ramrod  down 
the  barrel,  smiled  triumphantly  upon  finding  it  heavily 
charged.  He  retained  it,  to  use  against  its  owner  if  he 
awoke.  But  Nap  did  not  dream  of  such  a  thing.  He  was 
smiling ;  perhaps  supposing  himself  to  be  in  the  company 
of  Molly  or  Polly. 

Fames  next  seized  the  pocket-book,  which  he  deposited, 
without  opening  it,  in  his  own  pocket.  He  then  proceeded 
to  search  for  the  gold  and  silver.  He  knew  there  was  a 
large  amount  in  the  house.  He  had  heard  Nap  say  so, 
and  that  he  wished  to  exchange  it  for  paper,  which  would 
be  more  portable  for  Ben  Handy  when  he  came  from  Tyre 
on  a  collecting  tour.  And  Ben  was  daily  looked  for.  But 
the  robber  was  balked.  No  specie  was  to  be  found  in  the 
trunk.  One  moment,  and  for  a  moment  only,  he  had  an 
impulse  to  withdraw  and  be  contented  with  what  he  had 
secured.  Belinquishing  that  idea,  he  determined  to  look 
further  for  Nap's  treasure.  He  examined  several  drawers 
in  which  fine  goods  were  kept ;  but  to  no  purpose.  He 
then  espied  the  end  of  the  cash  drawer  under  the  counter. 
It  was  within  a  few  inches  of  Nap's  head,  and  one  of  his 
hands,  extending  beyond  the  edge  of  the  counter,  hung 
directly  over  the  front  of  the  drawer,  and  efi'ectually 
secured  it.  It  could  not  be  drawn  out  while  the  hand 
remained  in  that  position,  without  arousing  the  sleeper. 
Fames  stood  a  long  time  beside  the  unconscious  Nap  in 
deep  and  direful  meditation.  Once  he  cast  a  glance  at  the 
window  to  see  that  the  way  was  clear,  and  then  placed  the 


.128  _  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

muzzle  of  the  pistol  within  an  inch  of  poor  Nap's  temple. 
He  paused  with  his  finger  on  the  trigger,  and  cast  his  eyes 
toward  the  door  leading  into  the  wareroom,  which  was 
open.  He  knew  that  Jim  slept  there,  and  Jim  he  knew  to 
be  as  brave  as  Caesar,  although  slow  of  locomotion.  He 
then  moved  softly  to  the  door,  with  the  intention  of  closing 
and  securing  it.  He  was  chagrined  to  find  a  barrel  of 
sugar  and  a  pile  of  log- chains  would  have  to  be  removed 
before  his  purpose  could  be  cfi'ected.  This  he  could  not 
undertake  to  perform.  He  glided  back  to  Nap,  and  again 
stood  beside  him  in  deep  meditation.  Finally  a  smile 
played  on  his  dark  lip.  He  stooped  down  under  the 
counter,  and  taking  up  a  pin  which  glistened  in  the  moon- 
light on  the  floor,  punctured  the  obtruding  hand.  Nap 
moved  slightly,  and  then  slapped  the  wounded  place  vio- 
lently with  his  other  hand.  Still  the  obtrusive  member  was 
not  removed*     Fames  applied  the  point  of  the  pin  again. 

"Plague  take  the  mosquitoes  !"  said  Nap,  turning  over 
and  catching  violently  at  the  supposed  insect.  But  as  his 
face  was  away  now,  and  his  hand  removed,  he  was  no  more 
troubled  by  the  mosquito,  which,  no  doubt,  he  supposed 
to  be  killed.  A  few  moments  after  he  snored  again.  Then 
Fames  rose  up  and  pulled  out  the  drawer.  He  found 
nothing  in  it,  however,  but  a  few  pieces  of  small  change, 
a  half-finished  letter  to  Molly  Brook,  and  a  rough  map  of 
the  embryo  city.  None  of  these  were  molested  by  him ; 
and  he  concluded  that  it  would  be  a  fruitless  search  to 
hunt  further  for  the  specie.  So  selecting  a  fine  riding- 
whip  which  hung  near  the  window,  he  made  good  his 
escape.  Mounting  his  fine  horse,  (stolen  from  Judge  B.,) 
he  set  out  at  a  brisk  pace  on  the  road  leading  to  Troy, 
which  was  in  the  route  to  the  boundary  line  separating  the 
State  from  the  Indian  Territory. 

At  early  dawn,  as  was  his  usual  custom.  Nap  arose 
much  refreshed.  Jim  was  up  too,  sweeping  the  floor,  and 
quite  himself  again,  with  his  throat  perhaps  a  little  more 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  129 

than  ordinarily  thirsty.  A  quid  of  tobacco  soon  remedied 
that. 

"Nap,"  said  he,  standing  with  the  broom  in  his  hand, 
"how  did  you  happen  to  leave  the  window  up  all  night  ?" 

"I  didn't  know  it,"  said  Nap,  looking  in  surprise  at  the 
raised  sash.  "  I  didn't  leave  it  up !  I'm  almost  sure  I 
didn't." 

<«  You  must  have  done  it  in  your  sleep.'* 

"  No,  I  never  walk  in  my  sleep.  That  is,  I  never  heard 
of  my  doing  so.  It  must  have  been  up  all  night,  for  I  was 
cold  this  morning,  and  the  mosquitoes  came  in  and  bit  me. 
Look  there  at  the  whelks,"  he  continued,  showing  his  hand. 

t'This  don't  look  right.  Nap!"  said  Jim,  perceiving  the 
sash  had  been  raised  from  the  outside,  and  was  still  prop- 
ped up  by  the  pronged  stick  Fames  had  used. 

"Who  could  have  done  that?"  exclaimed  Nap. 

"  Nobody  after  any  good.  As  sure  as  day,  he  was  a 
double-purple,  madder-dyed  villain.     A  forger" 

"A  burglar,  you  mean,"  said  Nap,  pale  and  panting. 

"A  madder-dyed  rascal,  anyhow!  I'll  bet  a  hundred 
dollars  it  was  Fames.     Where's  the  money.  Nap  ?" 

Nap  sprang  to  the  nail-keg.  All  was  right  there.  The 
gold  was  likewise  safe  in  the  boot-leg.  But — alas !  the 
clothes  were  tumbled  out  of  the  trunk,  and  the  pocket- 
book  missing ! 

Nap  pulled  a  handful  of  hair  from  each  side  of  his  head, 
and  threw  himself  down  on  the  couch  he  had  just  risen 
from.  He  did  not  snore.  He  had  a  chill.  Jim  swore 
like  a  trooper,  and  spat  every  half  minute. 


130  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 


CHAPTER  XL 

Ben  Handy,  and  longings  for  money — Jack  and  Ben  Handy  have  a 
cash  customer  at  Troy — Silyer  exchanged  for  paper — Ben  arrives  in 
Venice,  and  puts  the  people  on  the  track  of  Fames — The  robber  taken 
and  the  money  recovered — Polly  Hopkins  returns  with  the  revolver 
and  frightens  Ben  Handy — Ben's  horses  run  away  with  the  specie — 
Dollars  scattered  in  the  dust. 

Benjamin  Handy,  the  youngest  of  the  family  of  Han- 
dys,  as  we  stated  before,  had  been  sent  for  by  Joseph  to 
assist  him  at  Tyre.  And  there  he  learned  the  rudiments 
of  the  art  and  mystery  of  merchandising.  Little  Ben,  as 
he  was  frequently  called,  had  by  nature  perhaps  one  of 
the  best  qualifications  to  obtain  wealth  of  any  of  the 
family.  He  had  stability.  If  he  was  not  gifted  with  the 
same  quickness  and  activity  of  mind  that  characterized 
some  of  his  brothers,  he  had  the  faculty  of  pursuing 
steadily  any  object  he  designed  to  accomplish.  Unlike 
most  young  men  who  fritter  away  their  time  and  talents 
in  the  partial  and  ineffectual  pursuit  of  a  constant  succes- 
sion of  new  projects,  never  persevering  to  the  consumma- 
tion of  any  of  them,  he  marked  out  deliberately  a  course 
to  be  pursued  for  the  attainment  of  his  desires,  and  unfal- 
teringly adhered  to  it.  If  the  constant  water-drop  will 
wear  away  the  rock,  what  obstructions  and  difficulties  can 
prevent  the  steadfast  and  undeviating  efforts  of  a  man 
from  achieving  fortune  ? 

Just  previous  to  the  time  when  the  arrival  of  the  young 
gentlemen  from  the  East  was  expected,  Ben  had  been 
despatched  by  Joseph  to  bring  in  from  Troy  and  Venice  all 
the  money  that  Jack  and  Nap  might  have  on  hand.  As 
Troy  was  the  most  distant  point  from  Tyre,  Ben  determined 
to  go  thither  first,  and  to  return  by  way  of  Venice. 

On  the  morning  succeeding  the  night  of  the  robbery. 


OF  A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  131 

Ben  was  engaged  with  Jack  in  counting  and  tying  up 
rouleaus  of  dollars,  which  were  to  be  conveyed  in  his 
saddle-bags.  He  was,  besides,  to  lead  a  pony  from  Troy 
to  Tyre,  and  of  course  he  had  his  "hands  full."  But  he 
determined  that  the  pony  should  bear  the  weighty  saddle- 
bags. Jack,  however,  prevailed  on  him  to  remain  till  noon, 
hoping  that  he  might  have  an  opportunity  of  exchanging 
some  of  the  specie  for  current  bank-notes. 

Several  persons  arrived  in  the  town  during  Ben's  stay, 
and  very  willingly  made  the  exchange,  for  specie  alone 
was  taken  at  the  land-office.  Thus  Ben's  ''load"  was 
materially  diminished,  for  Jack  had  accumulated  a  pretty 
considerable  ''pile." 

But  before  Ben  had  completed  his  final  arrangements, 
Jackson  Fames  arrived  and  entered  the  store.  Jack  had 
never  seen  him  but  once,  and  then  briefly  and  indistinctly, 
at  the  camp-meeting.  Fames  had  no  fear  of  being  recog- 
nised by  him,  nor  did  he  care  much  whether  he  was  known 
or  not.  He  was  certain  the  news  of  the  robbery  could 
not  have  reached  Troy ;  and  if  it  had,  why  should  any  one 
suspect  him?  So  he  entered  the  store  boldly,  with  the 
stolen  whip  in  his  hand,  and  said  he  wished  to  purchase  a 
pair  of  boots — the  best  in  the  house.  Ben  had  a  passion 
for  selling  goods  to  ready  buyers,  and  believing  from  the 
appearance,  of  Fames,  whom  he  had  never  seen  before, 
that  he  was  in  "earnest,"  he  volunteered  his  services  in 
accommodating  him  with  the  article  demanded.  He  sold 
him  a  pair  of  boots  for  six  dollars,  which  had  cost  but  three 
and  a  half.     Fames  gave  him  a  ten-dollar  note  to  change. 

"That's  just  into  my  hand,"  said  Ben,  holding  the  note. 
"I  want  paper  money." 

"If  that's  the  game,  stranger,"  said  Fames,  "I  can 
let  you  have  a  couple  of  hundred  for  the  specie."  And  he 
displayed  a  large  roll  of  bank-notes — the  pocket-book 
having  been  destroyed. 

"Agreed!"  said  Ben.  "But  while  Jack  is  counting 
the  money,  I  want  to  sell  you  something  else."     And  he 


132  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

did  sell  him  fifteen  or  twenty  dollars'  worth  more.  But 
inasmuch  as  the  fellow  never  objected  to  the  price  of  any 
thing,  Ben  began  to  scrutinize  him  closely,  and  to 
examine  the  money  carefully.  He  was  almost  afraid  that 
something — he  could  not  conjecture  what — was  wrong 
about  his  careless  customer.  At  last  Ben's  eyes  rested 
upon  the  whip  in  the  hands  of  Fames,  and  he  recognised 
the  mark  on  the  ticket,  which  the  rogue  had  neglected  to 
remove.  "  I'll  bet  I  can  tell  where  you  bought  your 
whip,"  said  Ben. 

"I'll  bet  you  !"  said  Fames. 

"  You  bought  it  of  N.  B.  Wax  &  Co.,  at  Venice." 

"Durned  if  I  did!  But  what  made  you  think  so?" 
asked  Fames,  becoming  somewhat  restless. 

(■  Because  I  know  the  mark  on  the  ticket.  We  use 
the  same  mark  at  all  three  of  the  places  where  we  do 
business." 

"  I  won't  dispute  that — and  it  mought  have  come  from 
there— but  I  didn't  buy  it." 

"You  swapped  for  it  then,  or  found  it.  Somebody 
bought  it  there." 

"  That's  another  thing.  But  I  must  be  off.  Good  day." 
And  gathering  up  the  specie,  which  he  had  not  taken  the 
pains  to  count  himself,  the  rascal  mounted  his  (Judge  B.'s) 
fine  horse  and  cantered  away. 

"  He's  a  singular  genius,"  said  Ben. 

"He's  either  a  fool  or  a  knave,"  said  Jack.  "These 
are  good  notes,  though." 

"Let  me  see  that!"  said  Ben,  recognising  the  hand- 
writing of  Nap  on  the  back  of  a  ten-dollar  bill.  It  was 
the  name  of  Mr.  Keene,  which  had  been  written  there. 
"  No  doubt  the  fellow's  been  at  Venice.  He  may  have  got 
a  large  note  or  two  changed  there." 

"  I  wonder  he  didn't  get  specie  then,"  said  Jack. 

Ben,  dismissing  the  matter  from  his  mind,  set  out  at 
the  appointed  hour.  The  distance  to  Venice  was  less  than 
twenty  miles,  and  he  could  easily  reach  it  by  supper-time 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.'  133 

"without  pushing  the  horses.  So  he  trayelled  leisurely 
along,  dwelling  upon  the  great  project  which  generally 
occupied  his  mind,  viz.  how  he  might  some  day  make  a 
large  fortune  for  himself. 

He  reached  Venice  before  sundown,  and  after  having 
his  horses  fed  by  Marsh,  presenting  himself  with  his  saddle- 
bags on  his  arm  before  Nap. 

"  I  hope,  Nap,"  said  he,  after  the  usual  brief  salutation, 
"that  your  money  is  not  specie." 

"Well,  it  isn't  any  thing  else !"  said  Nap,  dryly. 

"  I'm  sorry  for  it.     But  have  you  much  of  it  ?" 

Nap  told  him  the  amount. 

"  That'll  break  the  pony's  back.    Have  you  no  paper  ?" 

"Not  a  rag !" 

"  That's  strange  !  What's  the  matter  ?"  continued  Ben,- 
observing  Nap*s  extreme  agitation. 

*«Ben,"  said  Nap,  very  gravely,  "I'd  rather  by  a 
hundred  dollars  you  had  come  yesterday." 

"Why?" 

"  I — I  was  robbed  last  night !" 

Ben  heartily  sympathized  with  him.  Then  the  thought 
flashed  upon  his  mind  that  the  customer  to  whom  he  had 
sold  the  boots  might  be  the  robber.  He  got  Nap  to 
describe  to  him  the  denominations  of  the  notes,  and  the 
banks  they  were  upon,  as  well  as  he  was  able.  And  when 
he  remarked  that  one  of  the  notes  had  been  paid  him  by 
Brother  Keene,  whose  honesty  he  doubted,  and  in  conse- 
quence he  had  written  his  name  on  the  back  of  it,  Ben 
brought  down  his  hand  so  violently  on  the  counter  where 
Nap  was  sitting,  that  the  specie  in  the  drawer  beneath 
rattled  loudly.     Nap  started  in  surprise. 

"What's  to  pay  now,  Ben?"  he  asked,  quickly. 

"  See  here!"  said  Ben,  taking  out  the  notes  he  had  got 
from  Fames,  and  spreading  them  on  the  counter. 

"  These  are  the  very  notes  I  was  robbed  of!"  exclaimed 
Nap,  recognising  them. 

12 


134  LIFE  AND   ADVENTURES 

<'If  they  ain't,  I'm  a  Dutchman!"  said  Jim,  likewise 
recognising  several  of  them. 

<' Huzza!"  cried  Nap,  almost  dancing  with  delight. 
<< Here's  the  money  back  again  !     Huzza  for  you,  Ben!" 

"Ben's  a  trump  !"  said  Jim. 

During  all  this  time  the  imperturbable  gravity  of  Ben's 
face  manifested  no  change.  He  merely  winked  more 
rapidly  than  usual. 

<'How  did  you  recover  the  money?"  at  length  asked 
Nap. 

"  I'll  tell  you,"  said  Ben,  in  so  grave  atone  as  to  repress 
Nap's  rejoicings.  He  did  relate  the  manner  in  which  he 
became  possessed  of  the  notes;  and  once  more  Nap's 
chin  fell  despondingly.  Jim  was  dumb  and  dispirited,  and 
took  a  dram. 

There  were  a  number  of  Nap's  friends  and  customers, 
in  the  store ;  and  when  Ben  described  the  man  who  bought 
the  boots,  and  Nap  related  the  conversation  he  had  held 
with  Polly  Hopkins,  they  declared  unanimously  that  it 
must  be  Fames.  Marsh  came  in,  and  upon  hearing  what 
Ben  had  narrated,  stuttered  out  a  proposition  that  a  dozen 
men  should  mount  their  horses  and  go  in  pursuit.  He 
knew  where  Fames  would  stop  in  the  Indian  Territory, 
and  volunteered  to  guide  the  party  to  the  place.  Arming 
themselves  with  pistols  and  butcher-knives,  and  several 
having  their  rifles  with  them,  (a  habit  with  many  in  the  far 
West,)  nearly  all  present  seemed  impatient  to  start  in 
pursuit  of  the  robber,  under  the  guidance  of  Marsh.  Nap 
alone  hung  fire.  Ben,  who  was  fatigued,  ofiered  to  stay 
and  assist  Jim.  But  Nap  declared  he  was  ill.  He  was 
sorry  for  it,  but  he  could  not  go.  He  said,  however,  as 
it  was  necessary  for  some  one  from  the  store  to  be  in 
the  pursuing  party,  Jim  might  go.  Jim  mounted  with 
alacrity. 

They  rode  all  night  at  a  rapid  pace,  and  at  dawn  had 
passed  the  boundary  line  and  were  in  sight  of  Dr.  Weed's 
house.    The  Doctor  was  universally  regarded  as  a  desperate 


OP   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  '      '        135 

Character.  He  had  served  a  term  in  the  penitentiary  for 
robbing  the  mail  in  Pennsylvania,  and  was  now  supposed 
to  be  a  member  of  a  band  of  counterfeiters. 

"  Th-that's  the  pl-pla-place,  b-bo-boys  !"  said  Marsh. 
They  halted  and  held  a  brief  consultation.  Then  they 
separated  for  the  purpose  of  approaching  the  house,  which 
was  in  the  midst  of  a  grove  of  black-jacks,  from  different 
directions.  Thus  the  premises  would  be  surrounded,  and 
the  escape  of  the  robber  prevented.  It  was  agreed  that 
if  Fames  could  not  be  stopped  in  any  other  way,  should 
he  take  to  flight,  he  was  to  be  shot  down. 

As  had  been  concerted,  the  party  approached  from 
different  points,  and  arrived  at  the  house  simultaneously. 
The  dogs  gave  the  alarm,  and  the  lights  were  extinguished. 

"  He-hel-hel-lo  !"  cried  Marsh. 

''Who's  there?  What  do  you  want?"  demanded  the 
Doctor,  from  an  upper  window. 

"We've  come  for  Fames  !"  said  one  of  the  party. 

'"A-an-and  w-w-we'll  h-ha-have  him!"  said  Marsh. 

"He's  not  here!"  said  the  Doctor. 

"It's  a  d-d-d d  lie  !"  said  Marsh. 

By  this  time  all  the  doors  were  guarded,  and  the  Doc- 
tor was  told  there  would  be  no  use  in  attempting  to  conceal 
Fames,  or  in  resistance.  Much  bustle  and  confusion 
could  be  heard  in  the  house,  and  it  was  quite  apparent 
that  more  than  the  Doctor's  family,  consisting  of  himself 
and  daughter,  were  within.  The  Doctor  was  ordered  to  light 
the  candles  and  open  the  door.  The  command  was  re- 
luctantly obeyed.  The  foremost  of  the  party,  accompanied 
by  several  of  the  boldest  men,  ascended  the  stairway, 
while  the  rest  remained  below  and  watched  the  doors  and 
windows.     Marsh  opened  a  chamber  door  on  his  right. 

"  What  do  you  want  here  ?"  cried  a  female,  in  bed, 
whose  white  cap,  and  the  upper  portion  of  her  face,  wero 
alone  visible.    It  was  the  Doctor's  daughter. 

"F-Fa-Farnes!"  said  Marsh. 

"Don't  you  see  he's  not  here?" 


136  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"  B-b-but  I  w-wa-Avant  to  s-see  that  he  is  h-he-here  !" 
replied  Marsh,  approaching  the  bed. 

*' Go  off!"  exclaimed  the  girl. 

"  G-ge-get  up.  D-do-don't  be  a-a-shamed.  Y-you've 
g-got  a  go-gown  on." 

"  I  won't!  you  ought  to  be  ashamed!'* 

"E-ex-cuse  me,  m-mi-miss  !"  said  Marsh,  extending 
his  hand  and  stripping  off  every  particle  of  the  covering. 

"  You  beast !"  cried  she,  red  with  rage. 

"G-get  up." 

"Well !"  cried  she,  springing  up.  "Now  what  else  do 
you  want  ?" 

"I-I'll  s-see."  Stooping  down  and  thrusting  a  candle 
under  the  bed,  they  beheld  Fames  lying  on  the  cords. 
The  bed  had  been  placed  on  him,  and  the  girl  had  got  on 
the  bed. 

"  J-Ja-Jackson  F-Farnes,  you're  w-wanted !"  said 
Marsh,  throwing  off  the  bed.  And  then  turning  to  the 
frowning  girl,  who  looked  defiance,  he  said,  "  W-wasn't 
y-you  a-a-shamed  to  g-get  on  t-t-top  a-and  h-hi-hide 
h-him  ?" 

"  No  !  I  had  a  right  to  do  it,  for  we  were  to  be  married 
lawfully  to-morrow." 

"  W-wh-where's  the  m-mo-money.  Fames?"  continued 
Marsh,  turning  to  the  cowed  and  unresisting  captive. 

"Whose  money?"  he  asked. 

"N-Nap  W-Wax's." 

"  I  haven't  got  it.     Not  a  dollar -ef  it." 

"No,  you  double-purple,  madder-dyed  villain,  you  ex- 
changed it  with  Jack  and  Ben  Handy  for  specie!"  said 
Jim. 

"Prove  it !"  said  Fames. 

"Here's  the  boots  he  bought  of  Ben !"  said  Jim,  lifting 
them  from  the  bed-clothes;  "and  they're  mighty  heavy." 
Turning  them  up,  a  quantity  of  specie  fell  out  and  rolled 
about  the  floor. 

"You  have  no  right  to  take  Fames  here!"  cried  the 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.        '  137 

Doctor,  rushing  in.  ^'  This  is  out  of  the  State,  out  of  the 
United  States,  and  I  want  to  know  by  what  authority  you 
act?" 

t'J-Judge  L-Lynch !"  said  Marsh.  "B-be  qu-quiet, 
Doctor,  or  y-you'll  g-get  into  a  s-scrape." 

The  money  was  gathered  up  and  counted.  Nearly  the 
whole  amount  that  had  been  stolen  was  recovered.  Then, 
fearing  the  Doctor  might  soon  collect  a  large  number  of 
his  lawless  band  to  attack  them.,  the  party  mounted  their 
horses  and  whipped  back  over  the  line,  taking  Fames  with 
them,  his  feet  tied  to  the  stirrups  of  hi^  saddle. 

Fames,  recovering  his  composure,  joked  and  laughed 
with  his  captors  as  they  rode  along,  and  frequently  ban- 
tered them  for  a  race.  He  appealed  to  them  to  "  give  a 
fellow  a  chance,"  and  let  him  have  sufficient  start  of  them 
to  be  out  of  reach  of  their  rifles.  He  knew  his  horse  was 
the  fleetest  one  in  company,  and  if  he  could  only  get 
beyond  the  range  of  their  guns,  he  might  easily  make  his 
escape.  They  encouraged  him  to  believe  they  were  re- 
lenting, and  prevailed  on  him  to  confess  he  had  committed 
the  robbery.  He  said,  the  window-shutter  being  open,  and 
Nap's  snore  distinctly  heard  from  the  road,  the  temptation 
was  too  strong  to  be  resisted.  He  described  the  minute 
particulars  of  his  operations,  and  dwelt  upon  those  points 
which  seemed  to  entertain  his  auditors  the  most.  When 
questioned  whether  he  really  intended  to  use  the  pistol,  he 
said  that  if  Nap  had  opened  his  eyes  he  intended  to  shoot 
him  through  the  head.  This  avowal  dyed  him  ''  double- 
purple"  again  in  Jim's  estimation. 

When  they  drew  near  Venice  they  met  Judge  B.,  who 
was  hunting  his  horse.  The  Judge  had  purposely  turned 
him  loose  originally,  never  supposing  that  he  would  be  taken 
up  by  a  rogue.  Major  Jackson,  who  was  still  sporting  in 
the  neighbourhood,  soon  after  joined  them,  and  testified 
'that  it  was  truly  the  Judge's  horse,  for  they  had  tiavelled 
much  together  over  the  State,  riding,  as  Colonel  Benton 
said,  pretty  much  the  same  hobby.     The  Judge  took  pos- 

12* 


138  '  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

session  of  his  horse,  and  rode  away  with  the  Major  toward 
the  next  place  of  meeting. 

Fames  was  escorted  into  town  on  foot  by  three  horse- 
men on  each  side  of  him  and  as  many  in  the  rear.  His 
hands  were  bound  behind  him,  and  all  eyes  were  fixed 
upon  him.  Yet  he  did  not  seem  to  be  abashed.  Jim  was 
,the  first  to  announce  the  capture  of  the  robber  to  Nap  and 
Ben ;  and  when  he  displayed  the  money  that  had  been 
recovered,  Ben's  features  relaxed,  and  then,  for  the  first 
time  since  his  arrival,  he  laughed  very  heartily. 

Fames  was  placed  in  one  of  the  upper  rooms  of  the  inn, 
and  a  watch  set  over  him. 

About  this  time,  it  being  still  early  in  the  day,  Polly 
Hopkins  came  in  to  return  Nap's  revolver,  to  buy  some 
dimity,  and  to  hear  the  news.  She  seemed  much  pleased- 
at  meeting  Ben  there,  and  to  learn  he  was  to  set  out  in  an 
hour  for  Tyre,  because  his  course  would  be  along  her  road/ 
Ben  only  looked  grave. 

"  But,  Nap,"  said  she,  upon  learning  what  had  occurred, 
"  didn't  I  warn  you  against  Fames  ?" 

"Yes,  you  did;  but  I  didn't  think  there  was  any  dan- 
ger.    I  thought  he  was  after  you." 

'<  I  wanted  him  to  show  me  his  face  once  more  !  If  he 
had,  he  would  not  have  drawn  blood  from  you." 

"  Drawn  blood  from  me  ?     He  didn't  do  it !" 

"He  did.  He  told  Brother  Steele,  the  constable,  a 
little  while  ago,  that  your  hand  hung  over  the  money- 
drawer,  and  that  he  ran  a  pin  into  it  to  make  you  jerk  it 
away." 

Nap,  struck  speechless,  let  fall  the  yard-stick  with  which 
he  was  measuring  some  alpaca  for  several  ladies  in  the 
store,  and  stared  in  terror  at  the  marks  of  the  punctures 
on  his  hand. 

"A  mosquito  saved  your  life.  Nap!"  said  Jim. 

"But  it  wasn't  a  mosquito  !"  said  Nap. 

"No  matter.  You  thought  it  was,  and  that  was  the 
same  thing." 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  139 

^•Coine,  Ben,"  said  Polly,  "there's  stuttering  Marsh  at 
the  door  with  your  horses.     Let  us  be  off." 

"I'm  in  no  hurry!"  replied  he,  rather  coldly. 

"You  needn't  be  afraid  of  robbers,  Ben,"  said  Nap, 
"while  you  have  Polly  with  you." 

"I'm  not  afraid  when  I'm  by  myself,"  was  the  dry 
response. 

"A-are  you  ar-armed?"  asked  Marsh. 

"Yes." 

"What  with?"  asked  Polly. 

Ben  exhibited  a  very  small  pocket-pistol. 

"  That  pop-gun  wouldn't  frighten  a  woman,  much  less  a 
man!"  said  Polly.  "Nap,  I'll  keep  your  revolver  till  I 
see  you  again." 

"Very  well;  take  good  care  of  Ben,  and  take  care  of 
yourself." 

"  I'm  in  no  danger,  I  thank  you.  Come,  Ben,"  she 
continued,  going  out  and  mounting  her  horse. 

Ben,  after  some  hesitation,  silently  followed,  and  they 
rode  away  together.  When  they  had  proceeded  about  a 
mile,  Polly  abruptly  turned  her  face  toward  her  com- 
panion. 

"Ben,"  said  she,  "I  don't  believe  you  were  ever  in  love 
in  your  life." 

"  I  know  I  never  was  !"  was  the  half-angry  reply. 

"Why?" 

"Because  I  don't  care  any  thing  about  the  girls." 

"Nap  and  Jack  both  have  sweethearts  in  Kentucky,  and 
that's  the  reason  they  don't  fall  in  love  with  me." 

"  They  are  silly  for  it." 

"  I  think  so  too.  You  have  seen  Kate  and  Molly.  Are 
they  better  looking  than  I  am?" 

"  I  don't  know.     I  never  noticed  them." 

"Then  look  at  me." 

"I  don't  want  to  look  at  any  girl." 

"Ben,  I  know  you  hate  old  bachelors.  ' 

"  How  do  you  know  it  ?" 


140  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

<'Your   brother  Joseph  was  telling  me  last  week  that 

you  went  to  school  to  a  Miss  E ,  who  was  forty  years 

of  age ;  and  once,  when  she  lifted  a  switch  to  whip  you, 
you  became  very  angry,  and  called  her  an  old  bachelor. 
She  laughed  so  heartily  at  your  mistake,  that  the  switch 
dropped  from  her  hand." 

"But  she  was  an  old  maid,  and  not  a  bachelor,"  said 
Ben,  smiling,  for  he  had  really  made  the  ludicrous  blunder. 
"It  was  an  old  maid  I  hated." 

"You  don't  call  me  an  old  maid,  I  hope  ?" 

"  I  don't  call  you  at  all !  Keep  your  horse  out  of  my 
way." 

"  Ben,  I  think  I  must  be  your  first  love,  and  marry  you 
some  of  these  days." 

"  Get  out,  with  your  nonsense  !" 

"  How  old  are  you,  Ben  ?" 

"Sixteen." 

"A  nice  age  for  a  pet !" 

"I've  got  a  young  wolf  chained  at  the  store;  you  may 
have  him." 

"Never  mind,  you'll  get  older  some  of  these  days." 

"And  wiser." 

"Yes.     I'll  teach  you." 

"I  want  none  of  your  instruction." 

"You're  a  fool,  Ben!" 

"You're  another  !" 

A  running  dialogue  of  this  kind  was  kept  up  until  they 
reached  the  road  which  led  to  Polly's  house,  and  there 
they  parted.  She  could  not  persuade  her  impracticable 
companion  to  accompany  her  home  and  take  some  refresh- 
ment. 

When  the  sun  was  about  an  hour  high,  Ben  had 
reached  within  some  seven  miles  of  Tyre,  where  his  horses 
grew  excessively  dull,  and  evinced  an  indisposition  to  pro- 
ceed farther.  lie  could  not  keep  their  mouths  from  the 
rank  grass  that  grew  along  the  roadside  in  the  rich  prairie 
through  which  he  was  passing.    He  kicked  and  cuffed  them 


OP  A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  141 

until  he  grew  weary.  He  even  fired  his  pistol  occasionally 
at  the  flocks  of  grouse  that  continually  flew  up  from  the 
road,  where  they  had  been  wallowing  in  the  dust.  But  the 
jaded  horses  could  not  be  startled.  They  did  not  even 
lift  their  heads  when  he  fired. 

He  dismounted,  opposite  a  low  thicket.  He  transferred 
the  saddle-bags  from  the  pony,  whose  back  had  so  long 
bent  under  their  weight,  to  the  strong  horse  on  which  he 
had  been  riding.  Then,  letting  the  animals  browse  toge- 
ther, he  stepped  aside  and  cut  an  elastic  switch,  with 
which  he  determined  to  make  better  progress  homeward. 

But  no  sooner  did  he  display  the  switch,  than  the  pony, 
which  had  hitherto  seemed  to  be  ready  to  fall  with  ex- 
haustion, kicked  up  his  heels  and  cantered  away,  followed 
by  the  old  horse.  Ben  vainly  cried  "Whoa!"  The 
animals  only  cast  mischievous  glances  back  at  him,  and 
increased  their  speed.  He  followed  panting,  and  perfectly 
miserable.  Presently  he  saw  the  saddle-bags  tumble  over 
and  hang  under  the  horse's  belly.  This  made  the  animal 
spring  forward  more  violently  than  ever,  and  soon  after 
the  last  strap  gave  way,  and  the  saddle-bags  fell  in  the 
centre  of  the  road. 

The  young  man  was  certainly  in  an  unpleasant  predica- 
ment, and  from  his  distressed  expression  of  countenance, 
one  might  have  seen  that  he  fully  realized  his  apparently 
hopeless  condition.  He  could  do  nothing  but  follow  the 
road  the  horses  had  taken  until  he  came  to  the  "saddle- 
bags. But  long  before  he  reached  the  place  where  they 
had  fallen,  he  perceived  that  a  portion  of  the  money  had 
been  jolted  out  and  was  strewed  along  in  the  dust.  The 
first  parcel  he  found  was  a  rouleau  of  fifty  dollars,  the 
coins  not  having  burst  the  paper  enveloping  them.  Such 
was  not  always  the  case  with  the  rest  of  the  packages.  For 
soon  he  espied  Mexican  dollars  and  five-franc  pieces  scat- 
tered promiscuously  in  the  road.  Of  course  he  did  not  pass 
by  any  of  them,  but  diligently  collected  all  he  could  find, 
and  placed  them  in  a  strong  handkerchief.    He  progressed 


142  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

slowly.  Sometimes  the  dollars  lay  several  feet  apart ;  in 
other  places  fifteen  or  twenty  were  found  together,  and 
occasionally  he  picked  up  an  unbroken  rouleau.  It  was 
just  when  he  had  reached  the  saddle-bags,  that  he  espied 
a  man  riding  across  the  prairie  with  a  large  buck  before 
him  on  his  horse. 

"What  are  you  hunting,  Ben?"  cried  he,  when  he  had 
approached  within  fifty  yards  of  the  young  man. 

"Money,"  said  Ben,  when  he  recognised  Brother  Nave, 
whose  house  stood  on  the  road  to  Tyre,  some  three-quarters 
of  a  mile  ahead  of  them. 

Brother  Nave  was  much  astonished,  and  at  first  believed 
the  boy  had  become  demented,  thinking  of  the  placers  in 
California.  But  when  every  thing  had  been  explained  to 
him,  he  dismounted  and  assisted  Ben  in  the  search.  Not 
a  dollar  was  found  on  the  ground  Ben  had  passed  over. 
And  when  they  arrived  at  the  house,  it  was  ascertained 
that  nothing  had  been  lost !  Brother  Nave  sent  a  negro 
boy  down  the  road  to  a  small  stream,  which  was  then  not 
fordable ;  and  there  the  runaway  horses  were  found  stand- 
ing in  the  ferry-boat,  waiting  to  be  rowed  over.  They 
w^ere  led  back,  and  Ben  yielded  to  the  proposition  of 
Brother  Nave  to  remain  with  him  all  night,  and  make  a 
fresh  start  in  the  morning.  And  the  next  morning  the 
pony  paid  the  penalty  decreed  by  Ben  for  his  misconduct. 
The  saddle-bags  were  securely  lashed  to  his  back,  and  he 
was  urged  forward  unmercifully  under  the  stimulation  of  an 
elastic  hickory  switch. 

A  few  days  after,  news  came  from  Venice  that  Fames 
had  escaped,  and  had  stolen  Brother  Keene's  famous 
horse.  He  was  pursued,  however,  and  taken;  and  finally 
s  3rved  a  term  at  Jefierson  City,  sawing  stone. 


OF  A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  143 


CHAPTER  XII. 

A  foggy  morning,  but  a  bright  day — Nap  rides  out  to  hunt  deer  with  a 
party  of  Eastern  merchants — Nap  has  a  crooked  gun — A  buck  started 
— Nap  fires  and  kills  Colonel  Hopkins's  bitch — And  slaughters  the 
prairie-hens. 

The  day  was  just  dawning.  A  dismal  fog  rested  upon 
the  broad  river.  The  whippoorwill  had  ceased  its  song, 
and  taken  its  flight  into  an  impenetrable  thicket.  Even 
the  wolves  stopped  howling,  as  if  affrighted  at  the  harsh 
sounds  they  made  themselves  on  the  motionless  air.  They 
slunk  away  into  their  dens,  and  sullenly  rested  with  their 
heads  pressed  to  the  earth  between  their  paws.  And  the 
great  green  frogs,  which  had  made  the  slough  loudly 
reverberate  their  deep  bass  notes,  were  likewise  awed  into 
silence,  and  sat  with  their  heads  stooped  low,  and  their 
long  legs  drawn  under  them.  The  misty  cloud  which 
immersed  every  thing  seemed  to  have  robbed  them  of  their 
spirits,  and  to  have  plunged  them  into  a  profound  melan- 
choly. Thus  they  remained  for  a  brief  space  of  time  ; 
and  then,  as  if  with  a  desperate  resolution  to  end  their 
woes — to  rush  away  from  the  humid  and  sombre  atmo- 
sphere enveloping  them — they  leaped,  one  and  all,  into  the 
deep  oblivious  stream  and  sank  to  the  bottom. 

The  cock,  perched  upon  a  persimmon-tree  in  Sam 
Marsh's  garden,  clapped  his  wings  and  crowed.  An 
opossiim,  which  had  been  foraging  on  the  same  tree,  closed 
his  eyes  and  fell  to  the  earth;  but  immediately  after 
disappeared,  as  no  bones  had  been  broken. 

Nap  was  snoring  away,  as  if  sleeping  against  time  for  a 
wager.  As  he  drew  near  the  end  of  the  race  he  seemed 
to  be  urged  forward  by  whip  and  spur,  for  the  sounds  were 
uttered  in  quicker  succession,  and  each  louder  than  the 


144  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

last,  till  the  final  tremendous  explosion  awoke  him.     He 
sprang  up,  and  aroused  Jim. 

"  Come,  Jim  !"  said  he.  "  Be  up  and  stirring.  I  must 
be  off.  The  Philadelphians  and  New-Yorkers  must  not 
be  upon  the  ground  first.  I  am  to  be  the  pioneer  in  the 
hunt.  I  hope  Polly  will  have  some  spinning  or  weaving  to 
do,  to  keep  her  at  the  house.  Captain  Jewett  will  be  here 
to-day  with  his  new  boat.  Put  all  the  produce  on  board, 
Jim,  and  have  the  bills  of  lading  properly  signed. 
Consign  to  D.  T.  &  Co.  Write  them  to  sell  for  the  most 
they  can  get,  and  keep  the  money  till  further  orders.  As 
for  these  confounded  deeds,"  he  continued,  glancing  im- 
patiently at  some  half-a-dozen  instruments  of  conveyance 
lying  on  the  desk,  "  I'm  getting  sick  of  'em.  It's  give, 
give,  give — and  I  get  nothing  back" 

"You  are  selling  a  sight  of  hardware  though,  and  other 
building  materials,"  said  Jim,  pausing  with  the  broom  in 
his  hand. 

"  True,  Jim.  That's  a  fact ;  and  I  make  'em  pay  a 
profit.  But  it  seems  to  me  that  it's  about  time  to  begin 
to  sell  some  of  the  lots.  Very  soon  every  man  who  wants 
to  live  here,  or  build  him  a  shanty,  will  be  supplied. 
Then  when  my  alternate  lots  are  put  up  for  sale,  there 
v/ill  be  no  buyers.  I'm  afraid  Colonel  Benton's  advice 
won't  do  me  any  good." 

<'  Let  it  rip.  Nap  !  Go  it  blind  !  Colonel  Benton  can 
see  about  as  far  ahead  as  other  men  of  his  age  can  see 
behind  'em.  I  never  could  guess  how  the  things  he 
predicted  were  to  come  to  pass ;  but  they  never  failed  to 
do  it.  And  now  if  he  was  to  tell  me  to  give  my  horse 
away,  I'd  do  it.  Somebody  would  be  sure  to  give  me  a 
nigger!" 

In  fact,  ever  since  the  time  that  Colonel  Benton  had 
told  the  people  crowding  around  him  in  Sam  Marsh's 
porch,  that  Venice  would  some  day  be  a  real  town,  Nap 
had  been  daily  applied  to  for  lots.  And  now,  although 
scarcely  a  week  had  elapsed,  some  eight  or  ten  wooden 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  145 

buildings  were  going  up  in  the  bushes.  The  sounds  of 
axes,  saws,  and  hammers  began  with  the  rising  of  the 
sun,  and  only  ceased  with  the  setting  thereof. 

Nap  had  sold  all  his  nails,  augers,  saws,  hammers,  axes, 
hinges,  locks,  window-glass,  &c.,  and  had  sent  more  than 
once  both  to  Tjre  and  Troy  for  new  supplies.  But  this 
was  not  all.  The  spirit  of  enterprise  is  always  contagions. 
Many  of  the  vacant  lands  in  the  vicinity  were  entered, 
and  families  hitherto  in  the  habit  of  dealing  at  other  points 
concentrated  their  business  at  Venice.  They  brought  all 
their  "truck"  to  Nap,  and  bartered  for  his  "plunder." 
The  shipment  his  faithful  Jim  was  to  make  consisted  of 
twenty  bales  of  deer-skins,  for  which  he  had  paid  twelve 
and-a-half  cents  per  pound ;  five  thousand  pounds  of  bees- 
wax, for  which  he  had  given  a  shilling  a  pound;  otter 
skins  at  a  dollar ;  mink  at  twenty  cents,  and  several 
hundred  "coons"  at  fifteen  cents.  All  paid  for  in  mer- 
chandise at  seventy-five  per  cent,  advance  on  the  Eastern 
cost ! 

In  truth,  so  multifarious  were  Nap's  engagements,  that* 
he  imagined  he  grew  thinner  and  lighter.  He  certainly 
became  more  active.  But  a  day  having  been  appointed  for 
him  to  meet  the  Eastern  gentlemen  on  the  famous  hunting- 
grounds  in  the  vicinity  of  Colonel  Hopkins's  farm,  he  had 
made  preparations  to  join  them  with  his  usual  punctuality. 
And  that  he  might  not  be  a  mere  spectator  of  the  sport, 
he  had  provided  himself  with  a  double-barrelled  shot-gun. 
He  had  swapped  a  rifle  for  it.  The  one  (an  itinerant 
pedlar)  with  whom  he  made  the  exchange,  warranted  the 
fowling-piece  to  be  of  excellent  quality,  and  sure  to  do 
execution  if  aimed  right.  He  fired  both  barrels  at  a 
mark  himself,  in  Nap's  presence,  and  placed,  at  a  distance 
of  thirty  yards,  some  fifteen  pellets  in  a  paper  not  larger 
in  circumference  than  a  dollar. 

Thus  provided,  Nap,  after  an  early  breakfast,  mounted 
his  horse  and  rode  out  to  the  place  of  meeting.  The  sun 
had  risen  in  great  glory,  and  he  rejoiced  to  find  himself 

13 


146  .  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

the  first  one  upon  the  ground.  He  was  soon  joined,  how- 
ever, by  Colonel  Hopkins. 

"  Nap,"  said  the  Colonel,  "  who's  with  these  city  folks  ? 
Who's  to  show  them  where  to  find  the  game,  and  how  to 
killit?" 

"Joseph  Handy  is  to  come  with  them.  No  one  else,  I 
believe." 

"And  he'll  be  like  the  man  in  Scripture — the  blind 
leading  the  blind.  I  heard  him  say  last  week  he  had  not 
fired  a  gun  since  he's  been  living  in  Missouri." 

"But  I'm  here  !"  said  Nap,  somewhat  exultingly. 

"You!  You  killed  Jack  Grove's  bitch.  That's  all  I 
ever  heard  of  you  killing.  You  don't  know  the  first 
principles  of  hunting.  See  here.  Before  us  lies  extended 
one  of  the  finest  hunting  tracts  in  the  world.  We  can, 
from  this  eminence,  see  over  five  thousand  acres  of  prairie, 
interspread  with  hazel  and  sumach  thickets.  Parallel 
ravines  run  through  it,  and  small  brooks  of  cold  clear 
water  gurgle  along  from  a  dozen  springs.  The  whole 
ground  is  practicable  for  horses  and  hounds,  and  most  of 
it  for  carriages.  There  never  was  a  prettier  field  for 
sport ;  and  I  venture  to  say  that  within  the  same  space 
there  can  nowhere  be  found  a  larger  quantity  of  game. 
Deer,  turkeys,  and  prairie-hens  are  there  in  droves" 

"I  don't  see  one  I"  said  Nap. 

"  Of  course  you  don't.  But  I'll  bet  more  than  one  buck 
and  more  than  a  hundred  prairie-hens,  are  now  looking  at 
you.  Perhaps  a  wolf's  mouth  is  watering  for  a  slice  of 
your  thigh." 

"  Durned  if  I  like  that,  Colonel !" 

"  Pshaw  !  My  Polly  would  chase  a  whole  regiment  of 
them!" 

"  You  will  stay  with  us,  won't  you,  Colonel  ?  You  are 
an  old  hunter,  and  can  teach  the  boys." 

"  Of  course  I  will.  I  have  my  rifle,  and  will  blow  up 
my  hounds.  I  intend  to  have  you  all  at  my  house  to- 
night, and  I  must  provide  some  meat  for  you.     But  I  shall 


OF  A  COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  147 

have  to  kill  it  myself,  I  suppose.  There  is  only  one 
among  the  batch  of  the  city  gentry  I  saw  at  Tyre,  Avhose 

eye  looks  as  if  it  could  draw  a  bead.     That  is  E, 11. 

He  has  the  right  sort  of  an  eye.  But  what  can  he  expect 
to  do  with  a  shot-gun  ?" 

"I  have  a  shot-gun  too, .Colonel." 

"Nap,  I  didn't  think  you  were  so  green,  after  living  as 
long  as  you  have  done  in  Missouri.  Let  me  see  it.  Well ! 
if  you  kill  any  thing  with  this  gun  to-day,  I'll  agree  to  eat 
it  raw,  hide  and  all !"  continued  the  Colonel,  running  his 
eye  along  the  barrels. 

"Why  do  you  think  so.  Colonel?" 

"Because  it  isn't  straight.  It  has  a  twist  to  the  left. 
Some  rascal  has  cheated  you." 

"You're  mistaken.  Colonel.  I  saw  him  try  it.  He 
fired  twice,  and  hit  the  mark  both  times." 

"He  did?     I'll but  yonder  come   the   boys,  some 

on  horseback  and  some  in  buggies.  Talking  and  laughing 
loudly,  while  the  game  is  listening.  Novice  like.  I'll 
blow  for  the  hounds." 

He  sounded  his  horn,  and  immediately  the  dogs  were 
heard  yelping  in  the  distance  toward  the  house.  They 
were  led  by  an  old  negro. 

The  party  approaching  were  yet  a  quarter  of  a  mile 
distant ;  but  their  voices  could  be  distinctly  heard. 

"Nap,"  said  the  Colonel,  "if  I  were  not  h^re,  what 
would  you  do  first  when  the  boys  arrive  ?" 

"  We'd  take  stands  at  the  other  end  of  the  ground,  and 
put  in  two  drivers  with  the  dogs  at  this  end." 

"  You  would,  would  you  ?  I  thought^  so !  And  the 
standers  might  just  as  well  be  sitting  in  my  porch.  Not 
one  of  them  would  get  a  shot." 

"  Why,  that's  the  way  Sam  Marsh,  who  is  a  good  hunter, 
told  me  to  do." 

"And  did  he  say  nothing  about  the  wind?" 

"Oh  yes,  I  forgot  that!" 

"What  did  he  say?" 


148  LIFE  AND   ADVENTURES 

"  Hanged  if  I  recollect !" 

"  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  You  have  forgotten  the  most  essential 
portion  of  your  instructions.  Don't  you  see  the  breeze 
comes  from  the  other  end  of  the  ground?" 

^'Yes." 

"  Well.  Every  buck  is  lying  with  his  nose  to  the  wind, 
and  not  one  would  run  toward  the  standers.  They  would 
turn  and  come  this  way.  The  drivers  might  have  some 
shots,  and  that  would  be  all.  No,  since  the  wind  is  in  this 
direction,  and  as  there  are  no  good  stands  here,  we  must 
all  ride  over  the  ground  parallel  to  each  other,  and  about 
a  hundred  yards  apart.  The  dogs  must  be  kept  in  the 
rear  to  chase  the  wounded  deer.  If  all  the  men  have 
shot-guns,  none  of  the  bucks  will  fall,  if  hit,  liefore  running 
a  long  distance.  'We  must  ride  among  them  and  start 
them  up  ourselves.  They  will  try  to  get  around  us,  and 
if  one  misses,  another  may  hit,  as  they  run  along  the  line." 

When  the  party  joined  Colonel  Hopkins  and  Nap  on 
the  eminence,  from  whence  they  could  see  over  the  exten- 
sive grounds,  ever  famous  for  their  abundance  of  game, 
and  for  the  rare  sport  which  had  been  enjoyed  there  by 
hundreds  of  hunters,  they  were  greatly  charmed  w4th  the 
prospect,  and  unaffectedly  eager  to  engage  in  the  exciting 
diversion.  All  had  shot-guns  except  the  Colonel.  His 
rifle  was  uncouth  in  appearance,  long  and  heavy,  but  a 
celebrated  instrument  of  destruction.  It  had  been  made 
by  Daniel  Thornton. 

Mr.  II ,  or,  as  he  was  called,  '<  Uncle  Billy,"  was 

placed  on  the  extreme  left,  and  Colonel  Hopkins  posted 
himself  on  the  ri^ht.  They  w^ere  about  half  a  mile  asunder, 
and  the  intermediate  space  was  occupied  by  four  of  the 
city  boys,  the  redoubtable  Nap,  and  Joseph  Handy.  They 
were  ranged  about  a  hundred  yards  apart,  and  were  formed 
in  a  straight  line  across  the  plain.  The  flankers,  Colonel 
Hopkins  and  Uncle  Billy,  were  some  fifty  paces  in  advance. 
The  dogs  were  kept  in  the  rear  by  the  Colonel's  negro 
man. 


OF   A    COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  149 

Upon  a  signal  from  the  Colonel,  the  party  moved  for- 
ward simultaneously  at  a  brisk  walk,  each  man  having  his 
gun  in  readiness  to  fire.  Their  guns  being  charged  with 
buckshot,  it  was  understood  that  no  one  was  to  fire  at 
smaller  game  than  deer.  Uncle  Billy  was  §oon  thrown 
into  a  state  of  nervous  excitement.  Scarcely  a  minute 
elapsed  that  he  was  not  within  pistol-shot  of  quails,  phea- 
sants, and  grouse,  which  were  continually  flying  up  in 
front  of  the  horses,  and  temptingly  presenting  their  fat 
rumps.  Sometimes  they  rose  from  under  the  horses'  feet, 
and  scarcely  ever  beyond  the  range  of  No.  5  shot.  The 
truth  was,  they  had  never  been  fired  at  on  the  wing  in 
that  section  of  the  country;  and  such  "small  game"  were 
rarely  molested  at  all  by  the  resident  hunters.  Resolving 
to  pay  his  respects  to  these  birds  before  he  left  the  ground, 
Uncle  Billy  suffered  them  for  the  present  to  fly  away  un- 
harmed. 

"Look  at  him  !  See  there  !"  exclaimed  Joseph  Handy, 
as  a  fine  short-haired  buck  sprang  up  from  his  bed  in  the 
tall  grass,  within  fifteen  feet  of  him.  As  he  arose,  he 
could  be  heard  expelling  a  long  breath,  like  a  disturbed 
ox  with  full  paunch  forced  reluctantly  to  leave  his  com- 
fortable quarters.  He  shook  his  ponderous  and  many- 
pronged  horns,  and  threw  up  his  tail  as  he  leaped  grace- 
fully and  without  precipitation  over  the  tall  sumach-bushes 
to  a  bald  spot  in  the  prairie,  about  forty  paces  from  his 
fair,  where  he  paused  and  made  a  brief  survey  of  the  field. 

"  Shoot !  Why  don't  you  fire  ?"  exclaimed  half  a  dozen 
roices. 

"  I  didn't  think  of  that !  I  forgot  I  had  a  gun  !"  said 
«i/oseph,  endeavouring  to  make  his  horse,  which  was  a 
hunter  and  wanted  to  pursue  the  game,  stand  still  while 
he  fired.  But  when  he  succeeded  in  arresting  his  animal, 
and  raised  his  gun  to  his  shoulder,  the  buck  was  gone. 
The  tips  of  his  antlers  only  were  seen,  and  the  thumps  of 
his  hard  feet  on  the  dry  earth  could  be  distinctly  heard; 
but  he  was  beyond  the  range  of  Handy's  lead.     He  ran 

13* 


150  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

down  with  the  breeze  a  few  moments  and  then  made  a 
curve  toward  the  left  of  the  advancing  line  of  hunters. 
Not  liking  the  "cut"  of  Uncle  Billy's  eye,  as  Colonel 
Hopkins  expressed  it,  he  carefully  avoided  his  aim,  so  that 
when  he  turned  his  nose  toward  the  hunters  again,  he  con- 
verged sufficiently  toward  the  centre  to  be  more  than  a 
hundred  paces  from  Uncle  Billy's  muzzles.  At  first  he 
seemed  to  be  inclined  to  charge  through  the  line  within 
twenty  feet  of  Joseph  Handy ;  and  he  really  approached 
within  a  few  paces  of  the  bed  where  he  had  first  been 
lying,  notwithstanding  the  cry  from  all  parts  of  the  field 
to  Joseph  to  "look  out."  He  did  look  out;  but  not  in  the 
right  course.  His  eyes  were  directed  from  one  hunter  to 
another  as  they  successively  uttered  the  warning  cry.  His 
horse  saw  the  buck  and  pawed  the  earth  impatiently,  while 
the  rider  continued  to  look  in  every  direction  but  the  right 
one,  until  the  deer,  abandoning  the  slight  curtain  of  black- 
berry bushes  that  screened  him,  and  as  if  in  mockery  of 
the  whole  squadron  of  novices,  started  off  deliberately  at 
a  measured  gallop,  in  a  parallel  line  with  the  hunters,  from 
left  to  right,  exposing  his  broadside  to  them,  and  within 
fifty  paces  of  their  guns.  Joseph  fired  when  it  was  too 
late.  Joe  T.,  M.  J.,  J.  P.,  and  S.  S.  C.  fir^d  one  after  an- 
other, like  minute-guns  at  sea,  but  without  efi'ect.  The 
buck  neither  lowered  his  flag  (tail)  nor  widened  the  dis- 
tance between  him  and  the  inoffensive  battery  of  shot*? 
guns. 

At  this  juncture,  an  old  bitch,  the  mother  of  the  Colonel's 
pack,  escaped  from  the  negro  in  the  rear,  and  entered  the 
chase,  although  there  were  no  indications  that  any  one  of 
the  hunters  had  brought  blood,  or  even  touched  a  hair  of 
the  noble  deer.  Hearing  the  w'^arning  voice  of  this  foe 
upon  his  track,  the  buck  again  paused  to  survey  the  field. 
He  had  just  passed  a  diminutive  wild-cherry  tree,  upon  which 
were  perched  a  dozen  grouse.  Nap  had  long  been  regard- 
ing the  birds,  and  regretting  that  he  was  bound  to  reserve 
his  fire  for  the  deer.     The  young  wild-cherry  tree  was 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  151 

directly  in  front  of  him,  and  not  forty  yards  distant.  But 
now  there  was  no  longer  a  restraint  imposed  upon  him. 
The  buck  stood  with  his  huge  body  fully  and  temptingly 
exposed,  some  iSfteen  or  twenty  feet  to  the  right  of  the 
grouse,  having  passed  under  the  diminutive  tree  without 
alarming  the  birds.  There  he  stood,  in  perfect  defiance 
of  Nap.  Turning  his  head  over  his  back,  he  merely 
marked  the  approach  of  the  yelping  old  bitch.  He  was 
panting  slightly  from  the  moderate  exercise  he  had  taken 
— being  very  fat — but  exhibited  no  symptoms  of  distress, 
or  even  of  alarm.  He  could  not  have  avoided  seeing 
Nap;  but  he  looked  upon  him  and  his  endeavours  with 
perfect  contempt.  He  seemed  to  grow  angry.  He  shook 
his  horns,  stamped  his  foot,  and  flashed  his  eyes,  as 
he  observed  the  progress  of  the  old  bitch  on  his  trail.  He 
suffered  her  to  approach  as  far  as  the  tree,  and  then  he 
bounded  forward  without  any  extraordinary  exertion  or 
seeming  affright.  But  as  he  sprang  up  in  making  the  first 
leap.  Nap,  who  had  been  striving  to  repress  his  agitation, 
(the  "buck  ague,")  fired  both  his  barrels  at  him.  The 
report  was  tremendous,  and  horse  and  rider  were  both 
enveloped  in  a  cloud  of  smoke,  which,  for  several  moments, 
obscured  them  from  the  eyes  of  the  rest  of  the  sportsmen. 
And  when  the  wind  had  swept  away  the  cloud,  it  was  per- 
ceived that  the  horse  and  man  were  some  twenty  feet 
apart,  standing  face  to  face,  and  staring  at  each  other  in 
amazement — Nap,  indignant  at  the  horse  for  throAving 
him — the  horse  w^ondering  why  his  rider  had  tumbled  ofi*. 
Nap  stooped  down  and  picked  up  his  gun.  It  had  evi- 
dently been  overcharged,  and  had  rebounded  from  his 
hands.  His  nose  was  bleeding,  and  his  lip  was  slightly 
cut.  In  no  good  humour  he  approached  his  horse,  which 
did  not  move  a  hoof.  He  succeeded  in  mounting  him,  and 
then  cast  a  glance  toward  the  tree,  where  neither  birds  nor 
buck  now  greeted  his  uncertain  vision. 

"I've  killed  him,  Sam!"  he  cried  to  C,  who  was  next 
to  him  in  the  line. 


152  LIFE    AND    ADVEIn^TURES 

"How  do  you  know?"  asked  Sam. 

"Because  I  don't  see  him.  He  must  be  lying  in  the 
low  bushes.  I'll  load  my  gun  and  go  there.  But  I'm 
sure  he's  dead,  because  I  don't  hear  the  slut  any  more. 
Before  I  fired  she  yelped  every  second." 

While  he  was  charging  his  gun,  however,  the  buck  was 
seen  by  the  rest  of  the  company  rising  from  a  slight 
depression  in  the  prairie,  and  approaching  the  extreme 
right  of  the  line,  evidently  with  the  intention  of  turning 
the  flank  of  his  army  of  pursuers,  and  retiring  from  the 
field  in  their  rear,  and  toward  the  river.  But  he  was  not 
destined  to  succeed.  An  eye  was  upon  him  of  which  he 
had  no  knowledge.  Colonel  Hopkins,  in  advance  of  the 
line  of  hunters,  guarded  the  right  flank.  Sitting  on  his 
motionless  horse,  and  entirely  hidden  by  a  plum-bush 
matted  over  with  grape-vines,  from  which  hung  luxuriant 
clusters  of  the  purple  fruit,  he  marked  every  manoeuvre  of 
the  deer. 

Supposing  himself  to  be  beyond  the  reach  of  further 
annoyance,  the  notle  buck  now  slackened  his  pace,  and  as 
he  ran  gracefully  along,  with  his  side  exposed  to  the 
ambushed  marksman,  at  a  distance  of  about  sixty  paces,  he 
cast  a  glance  at  the  disappointed  novices.  Just  then  the 
sharp  report  of  the  Colonel's  rifle  was  heard,  and  the 
noble  buck,  pierced  through  the  heart,  stumbled  along 
some  ten  feet  and  fell  to  the  earth.  The  dark  blood 
gushed  up  in  a  jet,  and  in  its  descent  sprinkled  the  grass 
around.     A  groan,  a  sigh,  and  life  was  extinct. 

Without  casting  a  second  glance  in  the  direction  of  the 
fallen  victim,  for  he  knew  perfectly  well  the  fatal  efi'ect  of 
his  unerring  aim,  the  Colonel  proceeded  to  reload  his  rifle, 
a  habit  always  observed  by  hunters,  before  approaching 
the  fallen  game.  And  when  he  did  draw  near,  his  pace 
was  without  evidence  of  excitement  or  precipitation.  He 
stooped  down  and  cut  the  buck's  throat,  that  any  blood 
remaining  might  escape.  However,  but  little  remained. 
It  had  gushed  through  the  orifice  made  by  his  bullet.     He 


OF  A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  153 

then  blew  his  horn  for  the  boys  to  assemble  around  him 
from  all  parts  of  the  field. 

Nap  understood  the  signal,  for  it  had  been  previously 
explained  to  the  party.  They  knew  a  buck  had  fallen, 
and  were  anxious  to  have  a  close  inspection  of  his  pro- 
portions. 

"  Stop,  Sam !"  said  Nap,  to  Mr.  C,  as  the  latter  gal- 
loped past.     «'  Go  with  me  out  yonder  by  the  tree." 

"  Nonsense,  man  !  We  all  saw  the  buck  after  you  fired. 
You  missed  him,  clear;  but  Colonel  Hopkins  killed  him." 

''  Not  a  bit  of  it !  It  was  another  buck.  I  killed  mine 
to  a  certainty.  I  had  a  good  aim,  and  he  was  standing — 
that  is,  he  began  to  jump  just  as  I  pulled  both  triggers. 
I  had  fifteen  large  buckshot  in  each  barrel — thirty  in  all, 
and  must  have  peppered  him." 

"You  may  have  peppered  him,  but  the  Colonel  salted 
him.  I  believe  I  hit  him  myself,  and  all  the  boys  say 
they  struck  him ;  but  shot-guns  wont  do  ;  buckshot  won't 
kill  such  large  deer.  Come  on  ;  you  needn't  look  there  !" 
cried  Sam,  riding  straight  on  while  Nap  turned  his  horse 
toward  the  tree. 

"Hanged  if  I  don't  look,  anyhow,"  said  Nap,  riding  to 
the  spot  where  the  buck  had  stood,  and  looking  in  vain 
for  him.  He  did  not  even  see  a  hair,  or  a  particle  of 
blood. 

"What's  that !"  he  cried,  as  he  heard  a  fluttering  under 
the  cherry-tree.  "  There  he  is,  by  jingo  !  No  it  ain't !" 
he  continued,  on  approaching,  and  finding  it  to  be  a  grouse 
in  its  last  expiring  struggle.  "  How  the  deuce  did  I 
happen  to  kill  you?"  said  he,  dismounting  and  taking  up 
the  bird.  "Jerusalem  and  blue  blazes  !  See  there  !"  he 
continued,  as  he  discovered  five  more  grouse  dead  upon  the 
ground.  "Well,  that  beats  all !  Six  prairie-chickens  at  a 
time  !  I  didn't  aim  at  'em.  The  buck  was  at  least  fifteen 
or  twenty  feet  to  the  right,  and  I  took  a  dead  aim  at  him. 
Hello  !  What's  this  ?"  he  cried,  starting  back.  "  Colonel 
Hopkins's  old  bitch !     As  I'm  living,  she's  as  dead  as  a 


154  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

smoked  herring.  There  are  three  holes  through  her  side. 
No  wonder  she  stopped  yelping !  But  I'm  in  a  scrape* 
The  Colonel  swears  he  wouldn't  swap  her  for  the  best 
horse  in  the  country.  He  says  she  was  imported  by 
"Dinks,"  a  celebrated  sportsman  in  the  East,  and  was 
stolen  from  him  by  a  Mormon  preacher.  All  the  good 
hounds  in  the  county  came  gut  of  her.  What  shall  I  do  ? 
That's  the  question.  I'm  glad  Sam  C.  didn't  stop  !  She's 
as  dead  as  a  door-nail,  and  stiff  as  a  poker,"  he  added, 
turning  her  over  with  his  foot.  He  then  bent  a  tuft  of 
long  luxuriant  grass  over  the  body,  so  as  to  conceal  it  from 
any  one  happening  to  pass  in  that  direction.  He  did  not 
fear,  if  it  were  known  he  had  accidentally  killed  the  bitch, 
that  the  Colonel  would  prosecute  him ;  but  he  knew  her 
death  would  be  regretted,  and  that  her  owner  would  be 
irritated,  and  might  perhaps,  as  he  was  not  usually  fas- 
tidious in  the  choice  of  his  words,  utter  some  sarcasms  not 
pleasant  to  be  heard. 

Having  concealed  the  dead  body  with  something  like  a 
feeling  of  guilt  oppressing  him.  Nap  mounted  his  horse 
and  set  out  in  the  direction  of  the  scene  of  the  slaughtered 
buck,  where  the  rest  of  the  party  had  already  assembled 
and  seemed  to  be  disputing  for  the  honour  of  having  slain 
him.  The  Colonel  hearing  several  of  the  boys  declare 
they  knew  they  had  wounded, the  buck,  because  they  saw 
him  stagger  and  stumble  (a^  they  supposed)  when  they 
lired,  only  smiled,  and  covered  the  deer  with  his  saddle- 
blanket. 

"Now,  Joe,"  said  he,  "where  did  you  hit  him?" 

"  I  aimed  at  the  head,"  replied  Joe  T,  Joseph  Handy 
and  Uncle  Billy  had  no  pretensions  to  the  honour  of  having 
killed  him" 

»«I  aimed  at  his  heart,"  said  Sam  C. 

"And  I  at  his  flank,"  said  Jno.  P.;  "and  I  know  I 
struck  him,  because  I  saw  him  wince." 

"Where  did  you  hit  him  ?"  the  Colonel  asked  of  Mar- 
shall J. 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  155 

"  Nowhere.  I  thought  I  had  surely  riddled  his  short 
ribs,  but  since  I  have  examined  mj  gun,  I  find  it  didn't  go 
off.  I  exploded  both  caps — real  G.  D.'s — but  the  powder 
was  too  coarse.  When  I  went  to  load  again,  I  found  both 
barrels  still  charged." 

"You  are  too  candid,"  said  the  Colonel;  "you  ought 
to  have  been  mum.  How  could  they  tell  whose  shot  made 
the  holes  in  the  buck  ?  There  ought  to  be  fifty  shot  in 
him  at  least." 

"Besides  the  thirty  Nap  says  he  put  in  him,"  said 
SamC. 

"  I  w^as  mistaken,  Sam,"  said  Nap,  exhibiting  his  large 
bunch  of  birds.  "  I  had  been  looking  so  long  at  the 
prairie-hens,  that  when  I  intended  to  pull  trigger  at  the 
buck,  the  barrels  would  point  at  the  tree.  So  I  beat  you 
all — killed  six,  and  here  they  are."  Uncle  Billy  examined 
them  with  the  eye  of  a  connoisseur,  and  regarded  them 
with  as  much  interest  as  the  rest  did  the  buck. 

"Nap  aimed  well,"  said  the  Colonel.  "He  made  the 
best  shot  of  the  whole  party.  I  saw  him  when  he  fired  at 
the  buck,  and  watched  the  tree  to  the  left" 

"  Did  you  see  ine  ?"  asked  Nap,  upon  the  eve  of  making 
a  confession. 

"I  did,  and  I  saw  the  tree  rain  down  prairie-chickens.*' 

"  Did  you  see  any  thing  else  ?" 

"  No ;  I  then  watched  the  buck ;  for  I  knew  if  I  didn't 
kill  him  we'd  have  no  meat" 

"I  beg  your  pardon,"  said  Uncle  Billy.  "The  grouse 
are  better  than  venison  ;  and  these,  with  those  I  intend  to 
kill,  would  make  a  royal  feast." 

"We  don't  often  eat  such  small  game.  They  are  not 
considered  very  good." 

"Because  they  don't  understand  cooking  them.  To- 
night, if  you  have  no  objection,  I  will  show  the  cook  how 
to  prepare  them." 

"  I  shall  have  no  objection,  if  you  have  no  fear  of  the 


156  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

poker  and  tongs,  and  Polly's  tongue,  which  can  cut  some- 
times like  a  razor  ;  can't  it.  Nap  ?" 

^'  She  has  a  sweet  voice,"  said  Nap,  amid  the  smiles  of 
the  party. 

"  But  let  us  see  who  killed  the  buck !"  said  the  Colonel, 
throwing  aside  the  blanket. 

They  surrounded  the  prostrate  deer,  and  of  course  found 
but  one  perforation,  and  that  was  made  by  the  rifle-ball, 
which  passed  through  the  heart.  All  who  had  fired  at 
him  seemed  to  be  struck  dumb  with  disappointment.  • 

By  this  time  the  negro  who  had  charge  of  the  hounds 
came  up. 

<'  Here,  Grippa,"  said  his  master,  "  take  this  bunch  of 
birds  home  to  Polly.     Where  are  the  dogs  ?" 

<'  Gone,  Massa !  I  couldn't  keep  'em  back  when  dey 
heard  such  a  tarnation  shooting.     Don't  you  hear  'em?" 

They  were  distinctly  heard  chasing  other  deer  in  divers 
directions.  When  they  disdained  further  control,  they 
had  rushed  into  the  prairie  and  started  perhaps  a  dozen,, 
which  they  were  now  pursuing  without  restraint,  and  of 
course  without  effect. 

.     "But   where's   Juno?"   continued   the    Colonel.      "I 
thought  I  heard  her  running  after  the  buck  ?" 

"  She  did  run  arter  him,  Massa ;  I  couldn't  keep  her 
back.     But  I  doesn't  know  whar  she  is." 

<'  She's  as  deaf  as  a  post,  and  can't  hear  the  horn,  nor 
the  music  of  the  other  dogs  either.  Do  you  take  the  buck 
home.  I'll  carry  the  prairie-chickens,  and  see  if  Polly 
can't  fix  'em  right.  Boys,  when  you  get  tired  of  the  sport, 
you  know  the  way  to  the  house.  I  promised  to  kill  only 
one,  if  you  failed.  You^l  find  me  aiding  the  women  to  pre- 
pare something  for  your  comfort.  If  you  see  my  pied  bitch, 
throw  her  into  the  buggy  and  bring  her  along.  I  wouldn't 
take  a  hundred  dollars  for  her.     She  has  blood  in  her." 

<'  Not  much,"  thought  Nap,  whose  face  was  turned  away, 
and  who  trembled  with  alarm  all  the  time  the  Colonel  was 
speaking.  - 


OF  A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  157 


CHAPTER  x^III. 

The  boys  hunt  the  deer  again,  and  grow  weary  of  the  sport — Nap  and 
Uncle  Billy  stay  to  shoot  grouse — Uncle  Billy's  success — Nap  fires  at 
one  and  kills  another — Slight  dispute  about  a  bird. 

The  young  gentlemen  mounted  their  horses  again,  and 
proceeded  with  the  hunt.  Not  more  than  half  the  ground 
allotted  for  the  sport  had  been  traversed.  But  one  of 
those  sudden  changes  of  weather  for  which  Missouri  is 
remarkable,  had  taken  place  since  the  slaughter  of  the 
noble  buck.  The  wind  had  changed  to  the  opposite 
quarter,  and  the  sky  was  dappled  over  with  clouds. 

For  an  hour  our  industrious  sportsmen  beat  the  bushes 
and  galloped  over  the  plain,  in  the  hope  of  being  able  to 
<' duplicate"  the  buck  *' knocked  down"  by  Colonel  Hop- 
kins, as  they  expressed  themselves  in  mercantile  parlance. 
But  the  hope  was  illusory.  No  one  could  get  a  shot  at  a 
deer  within  killing  distance.  They  started  numbers,  some 
thirteen  in  all ;  but  they  invariably  sprang  up  and  ran 
away  before  the  huntsmen  arrived  within  a  hundred  yards 
of  them.  They  had  the  wind  now,  blowing  from  the  men 
to  them,  and  were  enabled  to  perceive  the  danger  in  time 
to  avert  it.  If  the  dogs  had  not  been  recalled  by  the 
Colonel's  horn,  they  might  have  driven  a  buck  within 
reach  of  the  guns ;  as  it  was,  the  boys  were  left  to  their 
own  resources,  which  they  very  soon  perceived  to  be  of  no 
avail.  All  of  them,  therefore,  with  the  exception  of  Nap 
and  Uncle  Billy,  turned  the  heads  of  their  horses  toward 
the  hospitable  mansion  of  their  host,  where  they  antici- 
pated much  sport  with  the  wild  Polly,  whose  fame  was 
spread  far  and  wide ;  and,  indeed,  for  the  sake  of  spend- 
ing an  evening  in  her  company,  the  meeting  in  that  vicinity 
had  been  originally  planned. 

"  I'll  stay,"  said  Uncle  Billy,  ''  and  have  rare  sport  yet. 

14 


158  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

I'll  carry  to  the  house  in  my  buggy  the  weight  of  a  deer 
in  grouse." 

"You  can't  do  it ;  they're  all  in  the  grass,"  said  Nap. 

"That's  just  where  I  yant  them." 

"But  you  can't  see  'em  on  the  ground." 

"  I  don't  want  to.     I  want  to  see  them  fly." 

"  They've  quit  lighting  on  the  trees.  Don't  you  see, 
when  they  fly  up,  they  all  pounce  down  in  the  grass, 
again  ?" 

"  I'll  shoot  them  on  the  w4ng. 

"  Can  you?  I'll  stay  with  you  and  see  it.  I've  heard 
of  that  kind  of  shooting,  but  never  saw  it.  If  you  can 
do  that,  I'll  show  you  plenty  of  birds,  and  pick  them  up 
for  you  when  they  fall.  There's  a  blind  road  running 
near  the  spring  branch  yonder,  that  I  never  travelled 
-without  starting  them  up  every  ten  paces.  Let  us  get  in 
the  buggy  and  drive  along  there  slowly." 

This  was  agreed  to.  Nap  sent  his  horse  to  the  house, 
and  got  into  the  buggy  with  Uncle  Billy.  They  drew  out 
the  buckshot  from  their  guns  and  loaded  with  No.  5.  At 
the  urgent  solicitation  of  Nap,  Uncle  Billy's  pointer  was 
compelled  to  keep  his  place  in  the  buggy.  Nap  assured 
him  there  would  be  no  difficulty  in  finding  as  many  birds 
as  they  might  desire  to  shoot  at. 

The  road  they  were  to  traverse  was  a  wagon-track  lead- 
ing from  several  farms  across  the  country  to  a  mill,  and 
was  never  sufficiently  used  to  destroy  the  vegetation. 
There  were  places,  however,  where  the  grouse  found 
enough  dust  to  wallow  in,  and  they  resorted  thither  for 
that  purpose,  as  they  were  not  liable  there  to  frequent 
molestation.  Within  a  few  paces,  and  parallel  to  this 
track,  ran  one  of  those  sparkling  rivulets  which  have  been 
alluded  to.  Those  brooks  had  likewise  attracted  the  atten- 
tion of  Uncle  Billy,  and  caused  him  to  recollect  that  before 
leaving  the  city  he  had  put  several  finely  tempered  fish- 
hooks in  his  pocket-book. 

When  Uncle  Billy  and  Nap  were  in  readiness  to  proceed 


OF   A   COUNTEY   MERCHANT.  159 

over  the  grouse-covert,  and  while  the  thirsty  horse  had  his 
mouth  still  thrust  into  the  sparkling  brook,  where  he  had 
been  suffered  to  pause  a  moment,  two  birds  fluttered  out 
of  the  bushes  near  the  buggy,  and  separating  when  some 
twenty  feet  high,  started  off  in  different  directions.  But 
Uncle  Billy's  eye  had  covered  them  both  before  they  had 
time  to  escape,  and  they  were  brought  abwn  flapping  and 
dying  in  full  view  of  Nap,  who  sprang  out  of  the  carriage 
and  picked  them  up. 

"Well!"  said  he,  returning,  "that's  curious.  I  never 
saw  that  done  before.  They're  both  dead,  and  here  are 
the  shot-holes.     I  wish  I  could  do  it." 

"It  is  easily  done,"  said  Uncle  Billy,  indifferently,  but 
at  the  same  time  experiencing  a  thrill  of  inexpressible 
delight  and  proud  satisfaction ;  for  it  was  a  feat  not  very 
often  performed  even  by  crack  sportsmen,  and  one  which 
he  did  not  suppose  he  could  accomplish  at  the  first  trial. 
However,  the  first  trial  is  not  generally  the  worst. 

"Do  you  think  I  could  do  it  ?"  continued  Nap,  with  his 
gun  to  his  shoulder,  which  he  threw  around  horizontally, 
as  if  following  a  bird  with  it. 

"After  some  practice  and  a  little  instruction,  no  doubt 
you  could.  Let  me  kill  a  few  more,  and  watch  me  when  I 
fire.     That  will  teach  you  the  rudiments." 

By  this  time,  two  more  arose  near  the  horse  as  he  walked 
along  the  road.  Without  checking  him.  Uncle  Billy  at- 
tempted to  repeat  the  operation  so  handsomely  performed 
before.  He  did  not  succeed,  however ;  yet  he  brought 
one  of  them  down,  which  Nap,  a  capital  retriever,  soon 
deposited  with  the  others. 

When  a  dozen  birds  had  been  killed  in  this  manner.  Nap 
thought  it  time  to  try  his  hand ;  and  Uncle  Billy,  after 
bestowing  some  instructions  on  him,  such  as  when  the 
birds  flew  across,  and  were  at  a  certain  distance,  to  aim  a 
few  inches  ahead  of  them,  and  not  to  be  in  too  great  a 
hurry  to  fire,  leaned  back  and  calmly  awaited  the  result. 

As  usual,  the  birds  seeming  to  be  in  pairs,  two  rose  up 


160  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

together  and  flew  in  straight  lines  awaj,  presenting  their 
broad  rumps,  the  most  vulnerable  parts,  to  Nap.  They 
were  some  fifteen  feet  apart,  and  Uncle  Billy  told  his  com- 
panion to  fire  at  both.  Nap  pulled  a  trigger  at  the  right 
hand  one,  and  the  other  instantly  fell. 

iiWhj  didn't  you  fire  both  barrels,  and  kill  them  both?" 
asked  Uncle  Billy. 

<''Gad,  when  the  smoke  cleared  away,  they  were  a  hun- 
dred yards  off,  that  is,  the  one  I  fired  at.  I  was  so 
blinded,  I  couldn't  see  which  way  the  other  flew.  But  it 
was  a  clear  miss,  I  suppose." 

<' A  clear  miss  ?  Not  at  all.  It  was  a  capital  shot.  I 
couldn't  have  done  it  better  myself." 

<'Then  why  didn't  he  fall?" 

<'He  did." 

"  Did  he  ?  I  thought  I  saw  him  fly  away ;  but  it  might 
have  been  another.     Won't  you  show  me  where  he  fell?" 

^'Look  near  the  root  of  yonder  persimmon-bush.  The 
one  with  the  grape-vine  on  it." 

Nap,  although  half  incredulous,  leaped  down  and  ran  to 
the  place  pointed  out.  He  stooped  eagerly  and  picked  up 
a  bird.  He  paused  and  examined  it  in  silence.  He  shook 
it.  It  was  quite  dead.  He  smelt  it.  He  placed  his  hand 
under  a  wing. 

*'  It's  warm  !  Hanged  if  it  ain't.  It  must  have  been 
me  who  killed  it,"  he  continued,  joining  his  companion. 

"Oh  yes.  I  saw  it  fall  when  you  fired.  It  was  done 
very  handsomely."  "         .-•■ 

Nap  felt  inclined  to  exult  in  his  success,  but  had  a 
secret  consciousness  that  he  aimed  at  the  other  bird,  which 
certainly  flew  away.     But  he  said  nothing. 

At  length  a  solitary  bird  flew  up,  and  both  fired.  It 
fell 

"I  saw  that  fellow  fall !"  cried  Nap,  running  to  it.  <•! 
aimed  well  that  time,  didn't  I?" 

''I  don't  know  so  well  about  that,"  said  Uncle  Billy, 
gravely.     "I  am  sure  J  aimed  well  at  it." 


OF    A    COUNTRY    MERCHANTj  161 

"You  !  did  you  shoot,  too  ?     I  didn't  hear  you." 

"We  fired  together." 

"  But  I  saw  him  fall  when  I  fired.  It  must  have  been 
me  who  killed  it." 

"  We'll  decide  it  in  this  way.  You  alone  shall  fire  at 
the  next  bird.  If  you  kill  it,  and  I  miss  the  one  I  fire  at 
afterward,  we'll  say  it's  your  bird." 

"i\  greed." 

Of  course  Nap  missed,  while  his  companion  was  suc- 
cessful.    Nap  then  fired  without  effect  five  or  six  times. 

"  Something  must  be  the  matter  with  my  gun  !"  said  he. 

<■<-  Take  mine,"  said  Uncle  Billy.  It  made  no  difierence. 
Nap's  excitement  and  anxiety  had  grown  to  such  a  pitch, 
that  he  was  incapable  of  aiming  well.  And  when  Uncle 
Billy  had  fired  his  companion's  gun  several  times  to  no 
purpose,  he  was  quite  ready  to  agree  with  him  that  some- 
thing was  the  matter  with  it.  But  Nap,  finding  both  alike 
in  his  hands,  now  defended  his  gun  because  it  had  done 
notable  execution  that  day. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

The  girls  at  the  house  upon  their  P's  and  Q's — The  girls  know  single 
men  from  married  ones — Tale  of  a  wild  boar — The  pied  bitch  again — 
The  Colonel  proposes  a  gameofpoker— The  women  had  forestalled  the 
game — Catching  a  Missouri  salmon — A  bass — Nap  and  Polly  steal 
away. 

When  Nap  and  Uncle  Billy  arrived  at  the  house  their 
buggy  was  literally  loaded  with  grouse.  The  prairies 
between  the  farms,  half  overgrown  with  bushes  and  vines, 
are  always  frequented  by  these  birds  in  great  abundance. 
They  breed  in  such  coverts,  and  remain  in  them  until  the 
frost  destroys  the  sheltering  leaves.     Then  they  congre- 

14* 


162  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

gate  in  large  flocks  and  remain  together  until  spring. 
Late  in  the  fall  they  consume  uncounted  barrels  of  the 
corn  left  ungathered  in  the  fields  ;  and  in  the  winter  thej 
will  attack  the  stacks  and  barns. 

Contrary  to  what  might  have  been  expected,  Nap  found 
the  company  assembled  in  the  house  quite  reserved  and 
decorous.  Polly  had  with  her  for  the  occasion  Miss  Sally 
Weighton  and  one  or  two  other  girls,  the  daughters  of  her 
neighbours,  to  assist  in  entertaining  the  company.  But 
the  capricious  Polly,  whom  the  gentlemen  presumed  would 
be  found  as  usual  in  a  boisterous  and  romping  humour, 
was  now  the  impersonation  of  modesty.  Her  sentiments 
were  refined,  her  expressions  delicate,  and  her  words  low 
and  musical.  Surprised  and  disappointed,  the  young 
gentlemen  felt  themselves  to  be  in  a  helpless  condition. 
The  subjects  they  were  prepared  to  discuss  were  not 
broached ;  the  jokes  they  had  composed  for  the  occasion 
were  not  called  in  requisition,  and  their  premeditated 
laughter  was  altogether  suppressed.  At  least  such  was 
the  case  until  the  arrival  of  Nap. 

Nap  thought  he  never  had  beheld  Polly  looking  so  love- 
ly. Indeed,  she,  as  well  as  her  female  companions,  were 
handsomely  dressed,  and  in  accordance  too  with  the  latest 
and  most  approved  fashion.  On  the  other  hand,  our 
gentlemen  had  left  their  best  clothes  in  their  trunks,  and 
now  surveyed  themselves  with  no  pleasure  decked  in  their 
shabbiest  costume.  Polly  perceived  and  enjoyed  their 
disappointment,  and  as  their  embarrassment  increased,  she 
became  more  interesting,  and  slightly  more  familiar. 

Nap  stepped  in  with  a  large  bunch  of  grouse  in  either 
hand,  followed  by  Uncle  Billy. 

"  This  is  Mr. — Mr." said  he,  forgetting  the  name  of 

Uncle  Billy,  whose  introduction  devolved  upon  him.  He 
was  "dumb-founded,"  as  he  declared,  the  moment  his 
eyes  fell  upon  the  ladies,  and  on  Polly  in  particular. 
Uncle   Billy   bowed    repeatedly   and   smiled    graciously. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.    .  163 

PoUj  advanced,  bearing  him  a  chair,  and  calling  him  by 
name. 

"Why,  Polly,"  said  Nap,  "you  look  beautiful" 

"  Surely,  Mr.  Wax,"  said  she,  interrupting  him  and 
slightly  frowning,  "you  are  not  going  to  offend  me  by 
such  familiar  language  as  that  ?  My  mirror  may  say  such 
things,  but  only  when  we  are  by  ourselves,  and  then  in  a 
low  whisper." 

Nap  staggered  back  to  a  chair  and  sat  down  in  dismay. 
It  was  the  first  time  that  Polly  had  ever  called  him  Mr. 
Wax,  and  the  only  time  she  had  ever  rebuked  his  rude- 
ness. He  stared  at  her  in  silent  amazement ;  but  still  he 
thought  she  was  unusually  beautiful. 

Some  how  or  other  the  girls  seeme,d  to  have  found  out 
who  of  the  gentlemen  were  married  and  who  were  single. 
Sally  Weighton  occupied  a  chair  at  Jno.  P.'s  elbow  ;  Miss 
Nave,  one  beside  Sam  C,  and  Polly  seemingly  by  accident, 
sat  down  next  to  Marshall  J.  Joseph  Handy,  Joe  T.,  and 
Uncle  Billy  could  not  avoid  perceiving  that  they  were 
"shut  out,"  like  "poor  men  at  a  frolic."  Now  some  of 
these,  and  particularly  Joe,  had  promised  themselves  a 
large  share  of  amusement.  Joe  was  the  cause  of  it  in  others, 
and  had  a  keen  relish  for  it  himself.  And  upon  finding 
himself  thus  unexpectedly  thrust  aside  as  it  were,  he  was 
slightly  disconcerted.  And  although  not  used  ^o  blushing, 
his  face  seemed  to  have  a  somewhat  deeper  colour  than  that 
of  one  in  delicate  health.  Neither  Uncle  Billy'^  features 
nor  colour  changed.  Nor  was  he  stricken  dumb.  Turning 
his  chair  to  the  right  and  left,  he  spoke  to  any  and  all  of 
the  young  ladies  without  hesitation,  and  was  listened  to 
with  complaisance. 

But  Jno.  P.  and  his  girl  soon  became  very  voluble. 
Jno.  never  lacked  words  on  any  subject,  and  he  was  really 
one  of  the  finest  singers  that  ever  entertained  homesick 
stage-passengers  at  midnight  on  the  mountains.  Having 
learned  that  Sally  was  an  enthusiastic  Methodist,  he  became 
very  pious,  and  thus  unlocked  her  lips.     Her  tongue  soon 


164  ,       LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

rattled  "without  intermission,  and  her  bosom  rose  and  fell 
as  she  caught  her  breath,  and  manifested  her  inflammable 
zeal  in  the  cause  with  the  merits  of  which  she  seemed  to 
be  so  familiar. 

Sam  C.  made  many  ineffectual  attempts  to  get  started 
with  Miss  Nave,  a  short  fat,  dark-eyed  girl  of  German 
descent.  Accidentally  he  mentioned  having  stumbled  over 
a  pig  in  the  bushes,  which  was  cracking  hazel-nuts,  and  the 
girl's  lips  were  unsealed.  She  said  the  pigs  were  the 
pests  of  her  life.  They  destroyed  the  hazel-nuts,  the 
hickory-nuts,  and  the  pecans,  which  were  worth  so  much 
per  bushel.  They  even  rooted  under  the  fence  and  got 
into  her  garden,  where  they  destroyed  her  melons  and 
squashes.  But  she  had  her  revenge  when  marking-time 
came.  She  held  them  for  her  father.  Sam  pretended  to 
be  familiar  with  the  subject,  but  soon  found  that  his 
information  was  not  quite  adapted  to  that  longitude.  For 
when  he  spoke  of  the  advantage  of  putting  yokes  on  the 
pigs,  as  they  did  in  the  East,  she  shook  her  head  and  said 
the  brutes  were  not  worth  the  trouble.  She  would  rather 
"knock  their  dratted  brains  out."  More  would  come. 
They  never  missed  any,  though  the  wolves  lived  on  them. 
They  were  born  in  the  woods  every  day,  and  the  only  way 
they  could  know  which  were  theirs  and  which  belonged  to 
their  neighbours,  when  killing-time  came,  was  by  the 
marks.  They  never  knew  exactly  whether  those  they 
marked  belonged  to  them — neither  did  their  neighbours ; 
but  they  all  marked  enough  to  do  them.  To  an  inquiry 
whether  all  were  marked  that  were  born,  she  replied  with 
serious  emphasis  that  not  near  all  were  subjected  to  that 
ordeal.  Hence  the  great  number  of  new  litters,  and  the 
dangerous  quantity  of  wild  boars  in  the  woods,  which  the 
men  had  to  thin  out  with  their  rifles  every  winter.  And 
then  she  related  an  interesting  occurrence  which  had 
happened  once,  when  she  was  out  in  the  woods  gathering 
shell-barks,  to  trade  at  the  store  for  silk  gloves.  A  boar, 
with  curled  tusks  as  long  as  her  hand,  had  treed  her,  and 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  165 

kept  her  up  there  two  hours,  while  he  was  splintering  the 
roots  with  his  horrid  teeth.  She  knew  not  what  might 
have  happened,  if  Strother  Brown  had  not  come  that  way 
and  shot  the  monster.  She  owed  her  life  to  Strother. 
But  she  said  he  was  already  engaged  to  Polly  Walker. 
Sam  of  course  thought  it  was  the  most  romantic  and 
interesting  adventure  he  had  ever  heard  related. 

If  Polly  Hopkins  saw  fit  to  be  suddenly  sedate  and  re- 
served, she  met  with  her  match  when  she  cast  her  lot  beside 
Marshall  J.  He  seemed  to  be  quite  as  indifferent  to  her 
charms  as  Ben  Handy.  He  was  pretty  much  of  the  same 
temperament,  and  was  soon  voted  incorrigible.  He  was 
familiar  with  every  subject  usually  broached  in  the  West, 
and  was  prepared  to  discuss  any  question.  He  could  like- 
wise relate  his  share  of  anecdotes ;  but  he  was  too  cool 
and  self-possessed  to  be  captivated  by  the  blandishments  of 
any  of  the  opposite  sex.  The  girls  attributed  his  sang- 
froid to  the  chills  which  had  recently  assailed  him. 

Perforce  Polly  had  to  relax  her  premeditated  frigid 
propriety,  and  she  mingled  her  remarks  with  those  of  Joe, 
Uncle  Billy,  and  Nap.  Nap  was  becoming  deeply  smitten 
with  her  charms,  in  spite  of  himself  and  Molly  Brook,  and 
began  to  feel  symptoms  of  jealousy  when  she  strove 
to  emit  some  rays  from  the  callous  heart  of  M.  J.  Joe  T. 
was  full  of  fun  and  romance,  and  talked  of  sparkling  eyes, 
ruby  lips,  and  Cupid's  darts.  Uncle  Billy,  in  his  deliberate 
way,  was  not  bad  at  an  innocent  innuendo.  Joseph  Handy 
was  occupied  apart,  writing  a  business  letter. 

Thus  they  were  engaged  when  the  Colonel  entered  to 
announce  dinner. 

"  Come,"  said  he,  «' the  venison  and  the  prairie-chickens 
are  ready.  The  old  woman  would  suffer  no  one  to  inter- 
fere. She  got  out  her  Leslie  cook-book,  and  did  every 
thing  right,  as  she  thinks.  Come !  the  proof  of  the 
pudding  is  in  the  eating.  Nap,"  he  continued,  turning 
abruptly  to  the  one  addressed,  "you  didn't  bring  homo 
my  bitch." 


166  LIFE  AND   ADVENTURES 

Nap's  head  fell.  Those  who  observed  it  supposed  his 
embarrassment  was  caused  by  the  mention  of  such  an 
animal  at  such  a  time  and  in  such  a  place.  This  was 
fortunate  for  poor  Nap. 

"Never  mind  it  now,"  continued  the  Colonel;  "I'll 
send  Grippa  out  to  hunt  her.  I  wouldn't  swap  her  for  the 
best  horse  in  the  county.  Hello,  boys,  don't  elbow  the 
girls  that  way.  They  know  the  road  to  the  dining-room, 
and  how  to  eat,  when  they  get  there.  Go  ahead,  first, 
girls." 

The  boys  had  oifered  their  arms  to  the  ladies,  the  mean- 
ing of  which  was  not  exactly  understood  in  that  prairie. 

At  the  dinner-table  there  was  more  hilarity.  Anecdotes 
and  hearty  laughter  enlivened  the  scene.  The  game, 
both  venison  and  grouse,  proved  to  be  excellent ;  and  the 
"native  wine,"  with  "something  stronger,"  detracted 
nothing  from  the  general  animation.  At  length  the  time 
came  for  the  Colonel  to  hint  at  the  grand  scheme  he  had 
meditated  ever  since  the  day's  sport  had  been  projected. 
He  was  a  famous  poker-player,  and  he  doubted  not  the  young 
gentlemen  knew  just  enough  of  the  game  to  be  the  victims 
of  its  fascinations.  He  little  dreamed  that  his  "  old  wo- 
man" and  Polly  had  likewise  meditated  on  the  subject,  and 
had  forestalled  him  by  communicating  their  wishes  to 
Joseph  Handy,  whom  they  knew  to  be  ignorant  of  the  game, 
and  seriously  averse  to  seeing  his  friends  engage  in  it. 

"Boys  !"  said  the  Colonel,  in  fine  humour,  "when  you 
are  done  with  the  girls,  we'll  have  some  amusement  at 
cards.     What  do  you  say  to  it  ?" 

They  said  nothing.  But  the  girls  looked  as  if  they  were 
not  yet  "done  with."  They  were  now  all  smiles  and  hap- 
piness. 

"Joe,"  continued  the  Colonel,  somewhat  surprised  at 
the  unlooked-for  hesitation  to  respond  to  his  proposition, 
"you  know  how  to  play,  I'm  sure." 

"  Upon  my  word,  I  don't.  I  never  could  understand, 
when  travelling  on  the  steamboats,  how  a  man  could  be 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  167 

<  blind'  one  moment,  and  then  say  he'd  <see'  his  neigh- 
bour. Sometimes  I  would  hear  them  say  they  were  all 
blind  but  the  dealer.  Then  I  supposed  that  was  the  end 
of  the  game.  But  no.  The  next  moment  one  of  the  blind 
players  would  rake  in  the  money.  So  I  turned  away,  and 
if  I  could  find  a  lady  on  board  who  would  talk  to  me  in  a 
social  way,  I  preferred  her  to  poker." 

The  Colonel  looked  blank.  Polly  cast  a  quick  glance 
at  Joe.  If  his  eye  did  not  quail,  a  slight  perspiration 
covered  his  high  forehead. 

"And  what  do  you  think  your  wife  would  say?"  she 
asked. 

"Good!"  exclaimed  Uncle  Billy,  leaning  back  and 
laughing.  "  He  tries  sometimes  to  pass  for  a  single  man. 
What  business  has  he  to  be  talking  in  a  social  way  to  the 
ladies !" 

"Oh,  you  are  no  bachelor,  I'm  sure,"  continued  Polly, 
turning  her  mischievous  eyes  on  the  crack  shot. 

"  How  can  you  tell  ?"  asked  he. 

"Easily.     But  no  matter  how.     It  is  my  secret." 

"And  must  not  be  pried  into,"  added  Joe,  quite  reco- 
vered from  the  discovery  of  his  married  condition,  and  as 
gallant  as  ever. 

"  I  suppose  I  might  as  well  confess  I'm  a  married  man," 
said  Marshall  J. 

"  If  you  did  it  would  not  be  true.  I  know  to  the  con- 
trary." 

"And  how  do  you  know  that,  Miss  Polly?" 

"  Because  you  are  not  so  enthusiastic  an  admirer  of  the 
girls  as  the  married  men,  who  appreciate  them  because 
they  know  their  value." 

This  made  amends.     The  married  men  felt  whole  again. 

"But  you  know  how  to  play  poker,  don't  you?"  asked 
the  Colonel,  addressing  J. 

"Not  I,  sir.  I  never  saw  it  played  but  once,  and  then 
the  young  man  who  lost  his  money  jumped  over  board. 
After  that  I  always  retired  when  the  game  was  proposed.'' 


168  LIFE   AXD   ADVENTURES 

<' And  sought  a  more  agreeable  game?"  asked  Polly,  at 
the  same  time  sending  him  an  approving  glance. 

"  I  don't  know  what  you  allude  to." 

"  I  mean  some  amusement  in  which  you  could  lose  no- 
thing. If  it  was  the  society  of  the  ladies,  of  course  you 
had  nothing  to  lose." 

''  Oh,  I  lost  my  heart  long  ago." 

«'But  you  play,  don't  you?"  persisted  the  Colonel,  turn- 
ing to  Sam  C. 

"■1  never  played  a  game  in  my  life,"  was  the  prompt 
reply. 

The  disconcerted  Colonel  was  silent  a  moment. 

<<  Drink,  then,  all  of  you,  and  help  yourselves.  I'll  go 
and  hunt  for  the  pied  bitch,"  said  he,  rising  and  going  out. 

''  Why  didn't  he  ask  me  ?"  said  Uncle  Billy. 

^'  Because  you  look  like  a  contemplative  whist-player, 
or  sentimental  angler,  and  neither  would  suit  his  impetuous 
humour,"  responded  Polly. 

"  That's  his  character  to  a  T,"  said  Jno.  P.,  whose  sanc- 
tified visage  and  profusion  of  pious  observations  directed 
to  Sally,  but  which  had  been  observed  by  the  Colonel,  ex- 
empted him  likewise  from  interrogation  on  the  subject  of 
playing.     But  he,  too,  had  his  negative  in  readiness. 

"I  am  sometimes  pleased  with  a  game  of  whist,"  said 
Uncle  Billy,  <'for  amusement,  and  not  for  gain.  I  differ 
from  those  who  believe  it  sinful  to  indulge  in  a  little 
innocent  play,  when  time  is  not  to  be  more  profitably  em- 
ployed." 

"  1  know  why  the  Colonel  didn't  ask  me,"  said  Nap. 
"  He  learned  me  how  to  play  the  game  one  night  at  the 
store.  Sam  Marsh  was  looking  on,  and  was  to  give  me 
the  wink  when  to  stop.  Three  hands  were  dealt  me,  and 
I  won  every  time,  but  not  much.  The  fourth  deal  I  got 
four  tens,  and  bet  all  I  had  won  on  them.  The  Colonel 
went  five  dollars  better ;  and  when  I  was  about  to  go  my 
<pile,'  Sam  gave  me  the  wink.  I  stopped  short  and  rose 
from  the  table." 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  169 

"You  would  have  -won,"  said  Jno.  P.  "What  did  you 
stop  for  ?" 

"How  do  you  know?"  asked  Miss  Polly,  in  astonish- 
ment. 

"  Oh,  I've  heard  it  said  that  hand  was  a  strong  one." 

"Sam,"  continued  Nap,  "told  me  afterward  that  the 
Colonel  held  four  Jacks." 

"  So,  Nap,  you  were  willing  to  play  a  winning  game 
only.     Stick  to  that,"  said  Joseph. 

"There  would  be  no  amusement  in  losing,"  was  the 
candid  reply. 

As  the  subject  of  angling  had  been  hinted  at.  Uncle 
Billy,  thinking  of  the  brooks  in  the  prairie,  and  the  hooks 
in  his  pocket,  inquired  of  Mrs.  Hopkins  if  there  were  any 
trout  in  the  neighbourhood.  She  replied  in  the  negative, 
and  said  a  deceased  brother,  who  was  well  informed  on  the 
subject,  had  often  remarked  that  there  were  no  trout  in 
the  State. 

"But  surely  there  must  be  some  game  fish  in  such  pure 
waters." 

"Oh  yes,"  said  Polly;  "I  have  frequently  seen  them. 
All  the  brooks  come  together  behind  the  orchard,  and  form 
what  is  called  Spring  Creek.    In  it  there  are  salmon" 

"  Salmon !  No,  no.  Miss  Polly,"  said  Uncle  Billy, 
firmly,  being  incredulous. 

"Yes,  yes,  I  say.  I  have  seen  them  taken  out  in  a  net 
— I  have  seen  them  under  the  ice — I  have  eaten  them." 

"I'll  swear  to  it !"  said  Nap.  ^ 

"What,  the  genuine  salmon?"  continued  Uncle  Billy, 
with  more  energy  of  manner  than  he  had  hitherto  evinced. 

"Yes,  genuine  Missouri  salmon,"  continued  Nap.  "Sam 
Marsh  had  several  on  his  table  the  day  Colonel  Benton 
dined  in  Venice." 

"Won't  they  bite?  Can't  one  be  taken?"  asked  Joe, 
who  was  a  keen  angler,  and  felt  an  interest  in  the  subject. 

"No  doubt,"  said  Nap,  "if  we  had  hooks  and  the  right 
sort  of  bait.     The  folks  in  Missouri  don't  fish  much  out 


170  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

of  the  great  river,  where  they  take  <  cats'  weighing  from 
one  to  two  hundred  pounds,  which  is  like  lassoing  buffalo. 
But  these  salmon,  they  say,  won't  bite  often.  I  suppose 
the  people  don't  know  what  sort  of  bait  to  use." 

"i  would  give  something  handsome  to  see  one,"  said 
Uncle  Billy.  "  If  they  are  game  fish — salmon  is  out  of 
the"  question — I  know  what  sort  of  bait  to  use.  Have 
they  teeth?" 

«'  They  have  !  One's  mouth  rasped  my  finger.  But 
they  are  not  like  the  pike  or  Jack  I've  seen  in  Kentucky." 

"Miss  Polly,  can  you  rig  us  up  some  lines?"  asked 
Uncle  Billy,  taking  some  hooks  from  his  pocket-book. 

Polly  said  she  could.  And  she  did.  Several  very  good 
flax-thread  lines  were  soon  in  readiness,  and  one  of  the 
negroes  brought  as  many  reeds  for  rods. 

t^Now  for  the  bait,"  said  Nap.     "What  shall  it  be?" 

"Grasshoppers,"  said  Uncle  Billy.  No  sooner  said 
than  done.  The  negro  boy,  in  a  brief  space  of  time,  had 
captured  a  score  of  them,  which  he  imprisoned  in  his 
hat. 

Nap  and  Polly  led  the  way,  followed  by  Joe  T.  and 
Uncle  Billy,  while  Sam  C.  and  Jno.  P.  remained  with 
Sally  Weighton  and  Miss  Nave,  singing  hymns  and  psalms. 
Joseph  Handy  was  making  calculations  about  his  business 
affairs,  and  had  already  covered  several  pages  of  foolscap 
with  figures.  ^ 

The  "Creek,"  as  .they  called  it,  was  a  very  pretty 
stream  of  clear,  cool  water.  It  was  some  twenty-five  feet 
in  width,  flowing  briskly  over  a  stony  bottom,  and  fringed 
on  either  side  fey  willows,  wild  rose-bushes,  and  hawthorns. 
There  were  alternately  ripples  and  deep  pools,  just  as  an 
angler  would  have  them. 

After  imposing  silence.  Uncle  Billy  and  Joe  T.  moved 
softly  to  a  spot  just  where  the  water  tumbled  over  a  peb- 
bled descent  into  a  deep  pool.  When  they  threw  their 
lines  above,  that  they  might  float  down  with  the  lively 
current,  they  were  themselves  obscured  by  the  trees  on 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MEECHANT.  171 

the  margin,  while  Nap  and  Polly  remained  a  few  paces  in 
the  rear,  witnessing  the  operation. 

Joe  met  with  no  success  the  first  throw.  But  there  was 
a  slight  splash  at  Uncle  Billy's  hook  as  it  glided  into  the 
deep  water. 

"  I've  got  him!"  said  he. 

"A  salmon?"  asked  Polly. 

"I  don't  know.  But  he's  game!"  continued  the  prac- 
tised angler,  playing  his  fish.  He  yielded  when  it  made 
a  violent  rush,  just  keeping  his  elastic  rod  sufficiently  bent 
by  the  fish's  weight  to  prevent  the  hook  from  getting  loose 
in  his  mouth.  Thus  tightening  the  line  and  yielding  it 
alternately,  and  sometimes  following  along  the  margin  of 
the  stream  as  his  captive  attempted  to  run  up  or  down,  he 
succeeded  at  last  in  landing  his  prize. 

"That's  a  beauty!"  exclaimed  Joe,  putting  down  his 
rod  and  joining  his  piscatory  comrade. 

"That's  one  of  them,"  said  Nap.  "That's  what  we 
call  a  Missouri  salmon." 

"It  is  not  a  salmon;  but  it  is  a  noble  fish !"  said  Uncle 
Billy,  carrying  it  a  few  paces  back  from  the  water,  and 
placing  it  on  the  grass. 

The  fish  was  eighteen  inches  in  length,  with  large  beautiful 
eyes,  and  teeth  resembling  a  trout's.  But  its  scales  were 
as  large  and  as  hard  as  those  of  a  rockfish,  and  the  shape 
not  dissimilar.  It  was  not,  however,  so  thick,  nor  so 
deep  from  the  dorsal  fin  to  the  belly,  and  would  not  weigh 
so  much  as  a  rockfish  of  the  same  length.  Its  colour  when 
taken  was  silvery  white ;  but  when  exposed  to  the  rays  of 
the  sun,  and  when  expiring,  the  colours  of  the  rainbow 
seemed  to  flit  along  its  sides.  When  dead,  it  grew  dark 
and  dull  in  aspect. 

"I  wish  I  had  learned  to  draw!"  said  Uncle  Billy, 
standing  over  his  prize  and  witnessing  its  struggles.  "  I 
have  a  boy  at  home  who  shall  take  lessons.  He  shall 
never  have  cause  to  regret  that  that  portion  of  his  educa- 
tion was  neglected.     I  wish  it  could  be  skinned  or  pre- 


172  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

served  some  way,  so  Frank  Forrester  could  see  it." 
"While  he  thus  soliloquized,  studying  the  form  and  features 
of  the  fish,  Joe  had  stepped  forward  to  the  stream,  and 
cast  out  his  line  again. 

"I've  got  one.  Uncle  Billy!"  said  he,  in  very  great 
excitement,  effectually  rousing  his  companion  from  his 
abstraction,  who  immediately  joined  him  to  witness  the 
operation  of  landing  another  specimen  of  the  Missouri 
salmon.  Joe  knew  how  it  should  be  done,  and  in  process 
of  time  he  accomplished  the  feat.  But  it  was  not  a 
"duplicate"  of  the  other.  Though  quite  as  heavy,  it  was 
five  or  six  inches  shorter.  This  was  the  Western  bass,  a 
species  not  known  on  the  seaboard,  and  it  elicited  almost 
as  much  admiration  as  the  other.  It  was  a  game  fish, 
hardly  inferior  to  the  trout,  and  much  larger  than  the 
trout  usually  taken  in  the  United  States.  It  was  broad 
across  the  shoulders,  active  and  powerful,  and  of  a  light 
yellow  colour. 

For  more  than  an  hour  the  anglers  enjoyed  their  de- 
lectable sport — the  best,  as  they  owned,  they  had  ever 
experienced  in  their  lives.  So  absorbed  were  they  in  the 
prosecution  of  their  exhilarating  exercise,  that  the  absence 
of  Nap  and  Polly  had  not  been  observed  by  them  until 
their  bait  was  exhausted. 


CHAPTER  XV. 


Nap  makes  a  declaration  under  the  hawtliorn-tree — Uncle  Billy  and  Joe 
T.  accidentally  overhear  him — Sour  grapes — Joe  Handy  strikes  a 
bargain  with  Nap — An  eye  to  business — The  Colonel's  bitch  again — 
Nap  fires  at  a  barn-door  and  misses  it. 

It  was  when  the  anglers  were  in  the  midst  of  their  sport 
that  Nap  wandered  away.  He  paused  under  a  hawthorn- 
tree,  thickly  matted  over  with  tangled  grape-vines.     Then 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  173 

turning  his  eyes  toward  Polly,  who  watched  in  silence  his 
mysterious  departure,  he  beckoned  her  to  join  him.  She 
did  so  unobserved  by  the  piscatorial  gentlemen. 

"  What  is  it,  Nap  ?"  she  asked.  "  What  have  you  found 
there  to  show  me  ?  Crab-apples  ?  Or  haws  ?  They  are 
worthless ;  besides,  the  thorns  forbid  that  we  should  molest 
them.  The  grapes  ?  They  are  too  high  and  too  green. 
They  are  sour.  Nap.     Then  what  is  it?" 

<^  Polly,"  said  he,  averting  his  face,  and  in  an  exceed- 
ingly grave  tone,  "  I  have  been  thinking  a  great  deal" 

Here  he  paused. 

'<  Indeed,  Nap  !  Well,  I  hope  you  are  well  through  with 
it.     Did  you  suffer  much  ?" 

«  I  have  suffered  immensely,  waking  and  sleeping" 

"  Nap,  when  you  suffer  in  your  sleep,  do  you  snore  ?" 

"  Don't  make  fun  of  me,  Polly  !    You  see  I  am  serious." 

"  Let  me  see.  Why,  yes,  you  are  as  grave  as  a  weeping 
willow.  Don't  cry,  Nap.  Poor  fellow  !  Can  I  do  any 
thing  for  you?" 

"Yes." 

"What?" 

"Let  me  marry  you." 

"  Nap-Napoleon  Bonaparte  Wax  !  Haven't  I  proposed 
it  over  and  over  again,  and  you  wouldn't  have  me?" 

"  But  now  I  would." 

"  Why  would  you  now  ?" 

"  Because  every  time  I  set  my  eyes  upon  you,  you  seem 
to  be  prettier  than  ever;  and  to-day  you  are  perfectly 
lovely.  At  the  store,  I  can't  add  up  a  column  on  the 
ledger  for  thinking  of  you.  And  when  I  go  to  charge  any- 
thing on  the  day-book,  I  am  sure  to  begin  writing  your 
name,  and  have  to  rub  it  out  again.  You  ought  to  see  my 
blotter." 

"What  does  all  that  signify?  I'm  not  a  witch,  and 
don't  know  anything  about  it." 

"  But  it's  because" 

"What,  Nap?" 

15* 


174  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

u  I_I'ni" 


"You  are  what,  Nap?     Speak  quick." 

"In  love!" 

"  Oh,  I  know  that.  You  told  me  so  the  first  time  we 
met.  Molly  Brook  would  go  into  hysterics  if  she  could 
hear  you  proposing  to  marry  me." 

"Not  a  bit  of  it !  When  she  heard  a  letter  read  which 
described  my  miraculous  escape  from  being  shot,  what  do 
you  think  she  did?" 

"  Didn't  she  scream?" 
'"No." 

"  Didn't  she  swoon?" 
'"No." 

"  But  she  turned  pale  ?" 

"  Hanged  if  she  did  !  She  turned  red,  and  bursted  her 
corsets  laughing.  She  said  I  resembled  a  bear  so  much, 
no  wonder  Jack  was  about  to  shoot  me  for  one." 

"  That  seems  cruel,  don't  it?" 

"  It  don't  seem  like  any  thing  else." 

"But  it.,  was  something  else.  She  knew  the  object 
of  the  letter.  Kate  had  received  a  letter  from  Jack, 
giving  an  account  of  the  affair,  and  stating  that  you  would 
write  to  your  mother.  Kate  and  Molly  went  to  your 
mother's  house  together,  and  agreed  to  laugh  at  your 
expense." 

"  She  shall  cry  for  it !  I'm  in  love  with  ?/ow,  Polly,  and 
will  marry  you  whenever  you  say  the  word.  I  will,  upon 
my  honour" 

"Your  honour!  Stop  there.  Nap!  Recollect  Molly 
has  your  honour  in  her  keeping.  You  can  have  none, 
unless  she* returns  it  to  you." 

"  Didn't  she  laugh  at  me  ?" 

"  What  has  that  to  do  with  one's  honour  ?  Laughter  is 
an  innocent  thing.  No  one  can  laugh  away  another's 
honour.  And  if  you  have  no  honour,  do  you  suppose  I 
will  marry  you  ?     What  can  any  girl  want  with  a  man 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  175 

without  honour?  She'd  much  better  let  him  alone,  and 
remain  single  all  her  life." 

"  Hang  it,  Polly !  Ain't  you  going  to  have  me,  after 
all  your  propositions  and  entreaties  ?  You  said  you'd 
marry  me  at  the  drop  of  a  hat !  Once  we  were  half 
married !  And  again,  when  I  pleaded  my  honour,  you 
said  you  would  see  if  I  couldn't  be  made  to  disregard  it." 

«<And  haven't  I  seen  it  ?" 

"Yes,  but  you  ma,de  me  do  it !' 

"And  if  your  honour  were  pledged  to  me,  wouldn't 
others,  more  captivating  than  myself,  make  you  <  do  it' 
again  and  again?" 

"  No,  I'll  be  durned  if  they  would.  There  isn't  a  girl 
living  upon  the  face  of  the  earth  more  captivating  than 
you  are" 

"  Come,  Nap,  that's  nonsense,  and  of  a  dangerous  kind, 
too.     Let  us  speak  of  Molly." 

"  Oh  pshaw!     I  wish  she  was  married — or" 

"  Stop  !  I  don't  like  that !  If  you  ever  loved  her — 
did  you  ?" 

"  Oh,  yes.  But  she's  not  so  tall,  nor  so  fine-looking  as 
you  are." 

"  Nonsense,  again  !  But,  Nap,  I  say  if  you  ever  loved 
Molly,  you  would  regret  to  see  another  marry  her ;  and 
you  would  grieve  to  see  her  dead." 

"  I  didn't  say  I  wished  to  see  her  dead." 

"You  came  very  near  it.     I  can  read  your  thoughts." 

"You  made  me  say  and  think  as  I  did.'.' 

"  Nonsense,  again !" 

"But  I'm  sure  I  love  you  best." 

"My  husband  shall  love  me  only!  Nap,  hear  me. 
Molly  was  your  first  love.  If  you  prove  recreant  to  her, 
no  one  else  should  trust  you.  I  believe  you  have  some  sort 
of  an  attachment  forme" 

"A  most  furious  and  powerful  one  !" 

"  That  may  be.     But  sometimes  the   largest  flame  h 


176  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

soonest  extinguished.  Had  you  never  loved  and  abandoned 
Molly" 

"  I  didn't.     She  abandoned  me  !" 

"  If  you  had  never  loved  her,  I  might  safely  rely  upon 
securing  your  affections." 

"  I  loved  her  first,  because  I  saw  her  first.  If  I  had 
seen  you  first" 

"You  might  have  loved  her  last.  No  matter.  Nap; 
my  resolution  is  fixed.  I  will  not  have  you  until  you  shall 
have  seen  her  again,  and  parted,  mutually  contented, 
for  ever.     That  is  my  decision." 

"  Why,  Polly,  I  thought  I  could  get  you  at  a  word,  any 
time." 

"But  you  see  you  were  mistaken." 

"I  do  see  it.     I  feel  it!"  he  continued,  almost  sobbing, 

"  In  fun  you  could  have  had  me.  Nap.  But  now  it  is 
getting  to  be  a  serious  business." 

"  Yes,  I'm  in  earnest." 

<«  And  so  am  I !" 

<' Polly,  I  hope  you  ain't  treating  me  in  this  manner 
because  those  fine  city  gentlemen  are  at  your  father's 
house.     They  are  all  married  but  three" 

"  Pooh,  Nap.  Don't  think  me  so  silly.  I  see  through 
them.  They  want  sport,  not  wives.  The  married  ones 
would  be  quite  as  ready  for  a  flirtation  as  the  single  ones, 
and  the  latter  have  no  idea  of  marrying  any  of  us — no 
more  than  I  would  of  having  one  of  them.  I  would  rather 
have  you,  Nap,  than  any  of  the  crowd.^  You  are  at  home, 
and  known.  They  are  away  from  home,  and  unknown. 
No  one  can  tell  what  they  do  in  their  travels,  or  how 
many  broken  hearts  they  leave  behind.  Married  and 
single,  it  is  all  the  same  ;  men  are  not  to  be  trusted." 

"If  I  were  married,  I  know  I  could  be  trusted." 

"I  pity  the  one  that  would  trust  you  after  you  had  been 
absent  from  your  home  a  month.  No,  Nap  ;  married  men 
are  frequently  the  greatest  rogues  that  go  unhung  !" 

This  was  said  with  great  emphasis,  and,  a  moment  after. 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  ^  177 

two  gentleman  might  have  been  seen  gliding  away  from 
the  vicinity  in  a  stooping  posture,  so  that  the  embankment 
of  the  stream  upon  which  the  tree  and  vine  grew  might 
hide  them  from  view.  They  had  followed  the  stream 
thither,  unaware  of  the  presence  of  the  lovers. 

"  Uncle  Billy !"  said  Joe,  when  they  had  returned  to  the 
place  where  the  fish  had  been  taken. 

•'  What  do  you  want  ?" 

<'I  say,  listeners  rarely  hear  any  good  of  themselves." 

"  So  I've  heard  before." 

"I  know  it  now." 

"  Hush  !    They  are  coming." 

"Well,  gentlemen,  what  luck?"  asked  Polly,  with  her 
old  flow  of  spirits. 

"  Capital,"  said  Uncle  Billy;  "and  it  might  have  been 
better,  but  we  had  no  more  bait." 

"  We've  been  trying  to  get  you  more,"  said  Nap ;  "  and 
that's  the  reason  we  left  you." 

"  Were  there  no  more  grasshoppers  on  the  lawn  where 
the  negro  boy  got  the  others  ?  I  saw  him  going  in  that 
direction.  You  went  there,  didn't  you?"  asked  Joe, 
marking  Nap's  blushes. 

"No!"  said  Polly.  "We  crept  along  the  margin  to 
yonder  tree  and  vine.  But  no  success  was  met  with  there. 
It  was  not  the  right  place,  Mr.  T." 

"  Joe  !"  said  Uncle  Billy,  striking  his  elbow  against  his 
comrade's  ribs,  "she  saw  us  or  heard  us.     Let  her  alone." 

"  Are  there  not  some  grapes  there.  Nap  ?"  j)ersisted  Joe. 

"Yes,  indeed,"  said  Nap,  in  confusion. 

"  But  they  are  very  sour,'  added  Polly,  "and  I  would 
not  commend  them  to  your  taste.  You  would  not  like 
them.  Better  let  me  have  the  fish  prepared  for  your  palate." 

"I  think  so,  too,"  said  Uncle  Billy."  "Fish  cannot 
be  served  up  too  soon  after  they  are  killed.  Not  so,  how- 
ever, with  grouse ;  and  I  must  bury  one  of  the  birds  in 
the  garden  to-night  for  my  especial  benefit  in  the  morning." 

When  the  party  returned  to  the  house,  they  found  the 


178  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

young  gentlemen  and  ladies  still  singing,  and  sitting  very 
closely  together.  John  P.  and  Sam  C.  had  evidently  im- 
proved the  time  and  opportunity.  The  girls,  from  their 
languishing  eyes,  seemed  to  be  almost  taken  captive. 

"Sally,"  said  Polly,  addressing  Miss  Weighton,  whom 
she  called  into  another  room,  "  how  do  you  like  these  city 
beaus?" 

<'  I  declare  Mr.  P.  has  the  sweetest  voice  I  ever  heard 
in  my  life.  I  never  want  to  hear  any  other  the  rest  of  my 
days !" 

"And  you  could  listen  to  him  for  ever !" 

"For  ever  and  ever  !" 

"  I  won't  say  Amen  to  it."  . 

"Why?" 

"  Do  you  suppose  you  could  make  a  Methodist  of  him  ?" 

"I'm  sure  he  is  a  good  man — he  has  such  a  heavenly 
voice  !" 

"  Don't  let  his  voice  make  a  fool  of  you.  Has  he  hinted 
any  thing  pleasant  to  you?" 

"He  says  I  sing  with  much  feeling,  and  he  likes  to  be 
tenor  to  my  treble." 

"  There's  no  harm  in  that,  so  long  as  there  is  no  bass  m 
it.  He'll  be  off  in  the  morning,  and  you'll  never  see  him 
again." 

"  I  shall  be  so  sorry  !  I  shall  ever  think  of  him." 

"And  no  doubt  others  do.  From  the  cut  of  his  jib,  I 
should  suppose  he  has  pleased  many  a  girl.  But  what  do 
you  think  of  your  beau?"  she  continued,  addressing  Miss 
Nave. 

"He  smiles  pretty,  and  he  has  nice  eyes  and  hair;  and 
he  says  he  would  like  to  be  a  farmer,  and" 

"And  you  wDuld  like  to  be  his  wife  !  Go,  girls,  sing 
and  be  merry  to-day,  for  to-morrow  they  leave  you." 

Marshall  J.  sat  beside  the  broad  hearth,  smoking  a  so- 
ciable pipe  with  the  old  lady,  and  conversing  familiarly  on 
any  subject  she  happened  to  broach. 

Joseph  Handy  had  completed  his  calculations  and  arrived 


OP   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  179 

at  a  result.  It  was  ascertained  to  his  satisfaction  that  he 
might  advantageously  dispose  of  his  interest  in  the  con- 
cern at  Venice.  Already  Nap  had  paid  back  to  him  more 
than  the  gross  amount  invested  in  the  store,  and  the  only 
claim  that  Joseph  might  now  prefer  was  for  his  share  of  the 
profits.  So,  when  he  proposed  to  sell  his  interest  to  Nap, 
he  found  a  willing  listener.  The  sum  named,  in  the  ab- 
sence of  authentic  data,  as  the  estimated  amount  of  Jo- 
seph's share  of  the  profits,  did  not  seem  extravagant  to 
Nap,  who  had  an  aversion  to  making  inventories.  He 
agreed  to  give  it,  and  the  arrangement  was  consummated 
at  once.  Nap  had  the  money  at  home,  and  promised  to 
send  it  to  Tyre  the  next  day. 

This  matter  despatched,  Joseph  excused  himself  on 
some  plea  of  business,  and  returned  home  that  night.  He 
had  no  taste  for  hunting  or  fishing,  and  no  time  to  fool 
away  with  the  girls.  When  he  departed,  Polly  declared 
that  they  never  would  have  got  him  to  join  the  party  at 
all,  if  he  had  not  supposed  he  could  accomplish  something 
relating  to  business  before  separating  again.  She  had  no 
doubt  he  came  there  to  strike  a  bargain  with  Nap  ;  and 
she  congratulated  our  hero  upon  becoming  sole  proprietor 
of  the  establishment  at  Venice. 

Nap  likewise  felicitated  himself.  There  was  now  no 
one  who  had  a  right  to  restrain  him  in  any  thing.  He 
had  money  enough  in  hand  to  pay  Joseph,  and  it  was  the 
only  debt  he  owed  in  the  world.  The  stock  of  goods  on 
hand  was  small,  but  well  assorted,  and  of  more  value  than 
the  original  capital  invested.  He  had  likewise  some  notes 
for  merchandise  sold  to  solvent  men  on  time.  Besides, 
he  had  made  that  day  a  considerable  shipment  of  produce 
to  his  commission-merchant  in  St.  Louis.  If  that  brought 
a  fair  price,  he  would  be  in  funds  to  replenish  his  stock, 
and  to  increase  it  materially. 

But  that  which  contributed  most  to  his  satisfaction  was 
the  assurances  of  the  young  gentlemen  from  the  East,  that 
their  respective  houses  would  be  happy  to  supply  him  with 


180  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

goods  on  the  same  terms  they  had  sold  to  Joseph,  viz.  at 
six  months,  with  the  privilege  of  twelve,  interest  to  he 
charged  after  the  expiration  of  the  first  half-year.  And 
they  pressed  him  to  visit  Philadelphia  that  winter.  Jo- 
seph, before  departing,  had  said  to  them  that  they  might 
safely  credit  Nap  for  any  reasonable  amount,  as  he  had  no 
bad  habits,  and  was  not  likely  to  form  any  in  his  secluded 
place  of  abode.  And  they  had  learned  that  Venice  would 
certainly  become  an  important  business  point  in  a  very  few 
years. 

<'If  you  go  to  the  Eastern  cities  this  winter,  Nap/'  said 
Polly,  ''I  suppose  you  will  have  the  pleasure  of  seeing 
your  mother  on  the  way." 

<'I  will,"  said  Nap,  winking  significantly.  '       - 

"And  I  think  Mr.  Handy,  or  some  one  else,  said,  there 
was  a  Miss  Molly  he  might  desire  to  meet  with,"  remarked 
Joe.  ;;        -  ', 

"Well!"  said  Polly,  "he's  an  unmarried  man,  and  has 
a  right  to  see  the  young  ladies." 

"  Oh  yes,"  said  John  P.,  "a  cat  may  look  at  a  king." 

Just  then,  Colonel  Hopkins  returned. 

"I've  not  found  my  pied  bitch,  boys,"  said  he.  "The 
infernal  Mormons  have  stolen  her.  They  tell  me  a  party 
of  them  crossed  the  prairie  to-day.  To-morrow  I'll  pur- 
sue them.  I'll  have  my  bitch  or  I'll  scalp  a  Mormon. 
Nap,  won't  you  go  with  me  ?  You  can  prove  she's  mine, 
if  we  find  her." 

Nap  was  very  much  confused.  It  was  not  observed, 
however,  by  any  but  Polly  and  the  two  wedded  anglers, 
the  latter  supposing  they  knew  the  cause  of  it. 

"Upon  my  word.  Colonel,  it  will  be  altogether  out  of  my 
power  I  have  to  send  a  certain  sum  of  money  to  Tyre 
to-morrow,  and  I  am  sorry  I  can't  be  absent  from  home. 
The  animal  was  a  valuable  one,  and  the  man  who  stole 
her  ought  to  be  punished  severely.  I  would  almost  be 
willing  to  shoot  him  myself." 

"Ha!  ha!  ha!    Shoot  a^ him,  you  mean.     That  gun  of 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  181 

yours  is  worth  nothing.  You  couldn't  hit  my  barn-door, 
with  a  rest." 

"It's  a  first-rate  gun!"  said  Nap,  who  really  believed 
what  he  said.  "  Recollect  the  execution  it  has  done 
to-day." 

i'l'll  bet  a  pound  of  powder  you  can't  hit  my  barn- 
door ;  that  is,  the  left  half  of  it,  with  a  dead  rest,  at  forty 
yards." 

"Done,  sir!  Come  on,  we'll  see  at  once,"  said  Nap, 
willing  to  venture  a  pound  of  powder  on  such  odds. 

The  whole  party  followed  the  Colonel  and  Nap  over  the 
square  lawn  toward  the  barn.  Two  chairs  were  taken  out, 
one  for  Nap  to  sit  in,  and  the  other  for  his  gun  to  rest  upon. 
The  barn-door  was  some  fourteen  feet  high,  .and  ten  in 
width.  It  was  closed,  and  presented  a  broad  enough  surface 
to  be  struck  with  an  apple  thrown  by  the  hand  of  a  lad  at 
the  distance  of  forty  yards.  Nap  was  really  incensed  at  the 
Colonel's  confident  declarations  of  his  inability  to  hit  so 
large  a  mark ;  and  he  was  annoyed  to  find  the  witnesses 
looking  on  in  mock  gravity,  as  if  half  convinced  that  the 
Colonel  would  win  the  wager. 

"Nail  a  piece  of  paper  about  the  size  of  a  half-dime 
on  the  door,"  said  Nap.     «I  mean  to  drive  the  centre." 

"I'll  put  up  two  targets,"  said  the  Colonel,  "one  for 
you  and  one  for  me.  I'll  bet  on  mine.  I'll  wager  lead  for 
the  powder  that  you'll  come  nearer  mine  than  yours." 

"Done  !"  said  Nap,  impatiently. 

A  paper  target  was  affixed  to  the  door,  about  eighteen 
inches  from  the  left  edge  of  it.  Another  was  placed  upon 
the  plank  fence,  some  fifteen  feet  farther  to  the  left. 

"Now  fire  away,"  said  the  Colonel.  "The  left  hand 
mark  is  the  one  I  bet  on." 

"But  you  bet  on  both,"  said  Jno.  P.,  who  had  not 
clearly  understood  the  particulars  of  the  proceeding; 
"and  if  you  lose  one,  won't  you  win  the  other  ?" 

"  No ;  I'll  win  both.     I  bet  he'll  miss  the  mark  he  aims 

16 


182  LIFE  AND   ADVENTURES 

at,  and  hit  the  one  he  don't  aim  at,  or  at  least  will  come 
the  nearest  to  it." 

"Well,  I'll  show  you!"  said  Nap,  sitting  down  and 
firing  the  right-hand  barrel. 

«'  Shoot  the  other  barrel  too  !"  cried  the  Colonel.  "I'll 
give  you  a  double  chance." 

"Very  well,"  said  Nap,  "I'll  spoil  your  barn-door  for 
you."  He  fired  again,  and  doubted  not  he  had  put  some 
five  hundred  pellets  in  the  door. 

They  all  went  forward  to  see  the  result.  Nap  assured 
that  he  had  not  missed  even  the  diminutive  paper,  much 
less  the  huge  barn-door.  But  the  extent  of  his  amazement 
could  not  be  measured,  when  he  failed  to  discover  a  single 
perforation,  in  the  door. 

"Now  let  us  examine  my  target,"  said  the  exulting 
Colonel.  The  surprise  of  Nap,  and  of  the  whole  party, 
was  quite  as  great  on  perceiving  that  the  shot  of  both 
barrels  had  entered  the  plank  in  the  vicinity  of  the  Colo- 
nel's target. 

"  That's  the  work  of  the  spirits,"  said  Jno.  P. 

"Let  me  have  a  fire.  Nap,"  said  Joe.  Nap  gave  him 
the  gun  in  silence,  for  he  was  inextricably  puzzled.  He 
had  been  told  by  the  Colonel  that  his  gun  was  crooked ; 
but  he  supposed  it  to  be  a  mere  joke.  He  had,  moreover, 
killed  the  birds  and  the  bitch  since  then. 

Joe  fired,  and  down  fell  the  left-hand  paper.  He  looked 
curiously  at  the  gun,  and  gave  it  up. 

"  Now  I  know  why  I  couldn't  kill  the  grouse  with  your 
gun.  Nap,"  said  Uncle  Billy. 

"  Then  I  wish  you  would  tell  me,"  replied  the  other. 

The  Colonel  explained.  He  made  them  perceive  a  slight 
bend  in  the  barrels,  so  slight,  indeed,  that  none  of  them 
would  have  discovered  it,  nor  even  the  Colonel  himself, 
had  he  not  been  informed  of  the  source  from  whence  it 
came. 

"I'll  sue  the  rascally  pedlar  !"  said  Nap.  "  No  wonder 
I  didn't  hit  the  deer!" 


OP   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  183 

"  Oh,  that's  not  the  reason  you  missed  the  buck,"  said 
the  Colonel.  ''  All  the  shot-guns  on  the  ground  were  not 
bent.  But  I  have  won  a  pound  of  powder  and  four  pounds 
of  lead.  Now  if  I  had  only  my  pied  bitch — blast  the 
infernal  Mormons  !" 

ii  Colonel,  send  out  when  you  please  for  the  powder  and 
lead,"  said  Nap,  desirous  of  keeping  his  host's  thoughts 
upon  the  winnings. 

After  supper,  it  being  ascertained  that  the  young  gen-' 
tlemen  and  ladies  had  sung  themselves  hoarse,  innocent 
games  were  introduced,  and  they  had  a  boisterous  night  of 
it.  They  separated  at  bedtime,  (the  hour  being  indicated 
by  a  startling  snore  from  Nap,)  mutually  delighted  with 
the  entertainment.  Sally  Weighton  being  the  only  one, 
perhaps,  whose  lids  were  insensible  to  the  approaches  of 
slumber. 


CHAPTER  XVI, 


Nap  prepares  to  go  Eastward,  and  adopts  the  costume  to  appear  in — 
Jack  joins  him,  and  they  go  together — Nap  repulsed  by  a  belle — His 
revenge— Nap  roused  from  his  couch — Is  the  victim  of  a  practical  joke. 

The  winter  so  far  had  been  a  mild  one,  and  the  steam- 
boats had  not  ceased  running.  It  was  now  the  beginning 
of  February.  Nap  was  engaged  packing  his  clothes  in  a 
trunk,  preparatory  to  embarking  on  Captain  Jewett's  new 
boat,  which  was  every  hour  expected  to  arrive  from  above. 

Nap  was  singularly  costumed  for  the  voyage  Eastward. 
Happening  once  to  hear  Colonel  Benton,  when  upon  the 

subject  of  apparel,  describe  the  dress  of  Mr.  C s,  of 

A n,  he  had  ever  since  imitated  it.     If  he  could  dress 

as  men  of  distinction  did,  of  course  he  might  be  in  some 
slight  measure  great  himself.  Fortunately,  in  this  in- 
stance, the  passion  for  adopting  a  novel  fashion,  was  by 
no  means  attended  with  any  extraordinary  expenditure  of 


184  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

money.  But  the  dress  the  Colonel  had  described  was  one 
worn  in  the  summer,  which  seemed  to  have  escaped  Nap's 
recollection,  at  least  so  far  as  his  hat  was  concerned.  And, 
being  fat,  and  the  weather  not  cold,  he  still  retained  his 
old  palm-leaf  covering.  The  brim  had  originally  been  a 
very  wide  one ;  but  it  had  been  shorn  of  half  its  propor- 
tions by  the  obtrusive  mouth  of  Sam  Marsh's  cow.  It  was, 
besides,  much  stained  by  the  dust  which  had  settled  around 
*the  band  in  moments  of  profuse  perspiration.  His  coat, 
vest,  and  pantaloons  were  all  of  Kentucky  jeans,  originally 
brown,  but  now  sadly  faded.  The  vest  was  pinned  toge- 
ther in  front,  and  the  buttons  were  off  the  coat.  He  had 
no  suspenders  to  his  pantaloons,  and  his  nether  garments 
might  at  times  be  observed  where  the  junction  of  the 
waistband  and  the  vest  should  have  been  complete.  His 
boots  were  of  coarse  cowskin,  foxy,  and  ripped  open  in 
several  places. 

"While  engaged  in  the  process  of  packing,  as  above 
stated,  Nap  heard  a  horseman  dashing  up  the  road  at  a 
more  than  ordinarily  rapid  rate.  He  turned,  and  beheld 
Jack  Handy. 

"  Hello,  Jack !"  cried  he,  "where  are  you  bound  for  in 
such  a  hurry?" 

"  I  thought  I  was  bound  for  the  place  of  your  destina- 
tion, and  supposed  we  were  to  go  in  company.  But  now  I 
doubt  it." 

"  Eh  ?    Are  you  going  East,  too  ?" 

«'I  am.  going  East.  I  am  sorry  you  are  not  going  thi- 
ther also." 

"Why,  where  do  you  think  I'm  going  then  ?" 

"  To  some  rag-fair.  What  in  the  name  of  all  the  pawn- 
brokers are  you  dressed  in  that  style  for?" 

"  The  exterior  aspect  of  a  man  is  of  no  importance,  as 
Colonel  Benton  says.  Some  of  the  richest  and  greatest 
men  in  the  nation  go  in  plain  garments." 

"But  not  in  ragged  ones." 

"  Clothes  will  wear  out,  and  the  Colonel  didn't  say  when 


OF    A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  185 

they  should  be  changed  for  others.  But  everybody  on  the 
river  knows  me ;  and  those  elsewhere  who  don't  know  me, 
will  never  suppose  I  have  three  thousand  dollars  in  my 
belt." 

"  That's  true.  Nap.  I  didn't  think  of  that.  Have  you 
another  suit  for  me?" 

"  Jim  has  ;  haven't  you,  Jim  ?" 

"No!"  said  Jim,  gruffly,  for  he  was  pained  to  see  his 
principal  so  shabbily  attired.  "And  if  I  had,"  he  added, 
''  I'd  give  'em  to  one  of  my  daddy's  negroes  to  hang  up  in 
the  field  as  a  scarecrow." 

"  Scarecrow  !  That's  it !"  said  Nap.  "  Crows  are 
thieves,  and  of  course  thieves  are  crows ;  and  I  think 
these  clothes  will  scare  them  away." 

"I'd  carry  a  pistol,  and  let  'em  rip,  if  it  was  me,"  said 
Jim. 

"And  so  I  will  take  my  pistol.  But,  Jack,  I  thought 
your  brother  Joseph  was  going?" 

"  So  he  was.  But  he  has  heard  that  a  stranger  is  com- 
ing, and  he  wants  to  be  at  home  to  receive  him." 

"  Who  is  it  ?    What's  his  name  ?" 

"  Oh,  he's  not  named  yet." 

"Not  named?" 

"No;  it's  a  little  stranger,  his  wife  intends  introducing 
early  in  the  spring,  and  probably  before  he  could  return." 

"Let  her  rip!"  cried  Jim.  "I  always  said  that  girl 
was  a  trump." 

"And  you  are  going  in  his  place?" 

"  I  am.     I  am  to  buy  for  Tyre  and  Troy  both." 

"  Good !  Jack,  won't  you  go  through  Kentucky  with  me  ?" 

"Yes,  indeed!" 

"Where's  your  trunk,  man?  The  boat  may  be  here 
in  an  hour." 

"  I  have  none  ;  but  I'll  empty  my  saddle-bags  into  your 
trunk  if  you  have  no  objection." 

No  objection  was  made.  And  the  young  men  were  in 
readiness  to  embark  when  the  boat  landed  shortly  after, 

16«- 


186  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

Captain  Jewett,  who  was  intimately  acquainted  with 
Nap,  as  he  was  likewise  with  all  the  Handy  family,  and 
being  by  nature  one  of  the  most  polite  and  accommodating 
masters  on  the  river,  gave  our  young  merchants  one  of  his 
best  state-rooms — one,  he  said,  which  had  been  reserved 
for  them.  Nap,  however,  at  first  made  some  objection  to 
it.  He  was  fearful  that  so  fine  a  room  might  betray  him. 
To  which  Jack  replied,  that  he  would  lodge  there  and  no- 
where else,  and  his  companion  might  sleep  with  a  party  of 
Indians,  if  he  pleased,  who  crept  every  night  under  the 
boilers.     Nap  submitted,  after  some  hesitation. 

They  were  rejoiced  to  meet  with  their  Philadelphia 
friends,  besides  a  number  of  others  from  the  Eastern  cities, 
to  whom  they  were  introduced,  all  wending  homeward,  to 
be  on  hand  at  the  opening  of  the  busy  season.  There 
were  also  many  country  merchants  on  board,  going  in 
quest  of  their  early  spring  supplies.  To  these  our  brace 
of  young  gentlemen  needed  no  formal  introduction.  They 
became  personally  acquainted  with  them  without  cere- 
mony, as  is -often  the  custom  with  merchants  from  the 
same  State. 

There  had  been  recently  a  considerable  rise  in  the  river, 
and  the  steamer  made  some  twenty-five  miles  an  hour  down 
the  "mad,"  impetuous  stream.  Her  rapid  progress  was 
entirely  in  unison  with  the  "fast"  ideas  of  her  living 
cargo. 

The   belle  of county,  Miss  Mary  W.,  was  on 

board,  and  she  was  the  only  lady  among  the  passengers 
that  Nap  had  any  acquaintance  with.  With  her  he  had 
been  on  terms  of  intimacy,  having  sold  her  many  a  gown, 
and  bartered  for  many  a  piece  of  jeans  of  her  making. 
After  supper,  he  walked  to  where  she  was  sitting,  and 
spoke  to  her  in  his  most  winning  manner.  But  to  his  sur- 
prise he  received  in  return  a  cold  and  distant  nod.  Miss 
Mary  was  splendidly  dressed,  and  did  not  choose,  in  his 
present  predicament,  to  have  it  supposed  by  the  fine  gen- 
tlemen in  view,  that  she  was  acquainted  with  one  who  made 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  187 

SO  mean  an  appearance  in  company.  A  very  few  efforts 
on  the  part  of  Nap  to  engage  her  in  conversation,  sufficed 
to  convince  him  that  she  judged  her  bird  by  his  plumage. 
He  turned  away  and  occupied  a  seat  near  Joe  T.  and 
Uncle  Billy. 

"  The  other  Polly,"  said  Nap,  "is  wortli  a  thousand  of 
such  primroses." 

"When  a  man's  in  love.  Nap,"  said  Joe,  "he  supposes 
his  sweetheart  to  excel  all  other  women.  But  you  have 
two,  they  say.     Which  do  you  like  best.  Nap  ?" 

Nap  made  a  frank  confession  of  his  attachments,  for  his 
heart  was  full,  and  Joe  had  an  open  countenance,  inviting 
confidence,  the  highest  possible  requisite  of  an  accom- 
plished salesman.  But  Nap  candidly  owned  that  he  was 
not  prepared  to  decide  which  of  his  two  girls  he  loved  the 
most.     He  would,  however,  soon  ascertain. 

"But,"  said  Joe,  "you  will  not' give  the  Kentucky  girl 
a  fair  chance." 

"Why?"  asked  Nap. 

"Because  you  won't  appear  before  her  in  as  fine  clothes 
as  you  do  sometimes  in  the  presence  of  the  Missouri  girl. 
Look  at  Jack.  He  is  one  of  the  best  dressed  gentlemen 
on  board." 

"I  didn't  think  of  that,  by  George!  But  now  I  do 
think  of  it,  Molly  shall  make  choice  of  me  in  these  rags, 
or  not  at  all.  She  put  me  off  when  I  had  on  a  new  suit,  but 
precious  little  money  in  my  pocket.  Now  I  intend  to 
appear  before  her  in  an  old  suit,  with" — here  he  lowered 
his  tone — "  with  thousands  in  my  belt.  But  don't  mention 
it  to  anybody.  I  have  a  thousand  dollars  with  me  now, 
and  there  are  two  thousand  more  at  Tatum's,  in  St.  Louis, 
for  me." 

Joe  smiled,  and  said,  he  wouldn't  mention  it.  He  had 
in  his  own  belt  upward  of  forty  thousand.  But  he  knew 
the  nature  of  Nap's  feelings,  his  hopes  and  fears,  in  his 
new  position,  and  appreciated  them.  He  had  likewise  ob- 
served the  treatment  Nap  had  received  from  the  prett}^ 


188  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

little  belle,  and  readily  entered  into  a  scheme  the  former 
proposed  by  way  of  retaliation.  So  he  procm-ed  a  formal 
introduction  to  her,  and  introduced  his  friend  Mr.  R.  from 
Philadelphia.  Nap  sat  by  and  witnessed  the  efforts  of 
the  belle  to  captivate  one  or  both  of  her  city  beans.  He 
was  now  the  happiest  man  on  board  the  boat.  He  could 
easily  perceive  that  Miss  Mary  supposed  that  she  was  dis- 
playing her  attractions  to  bachelors,  and  that  she  was  de- 
luded with  a  conviction  that  an  impression  was  being" 
made,  which  might  not  be  so  easily  obliterated.  And  it 
was  his  purpose  to  spoil  her  rest  by  whispering  in  her  ear 
that  the  gentlemen  were  both  already  married. 

But  he  did  not  accomplish  his  purpose.  After  sitting 
a  long  time  watching  the  young  lady  and  the  poker-tables 
alternately,  a  curtain  seemed  to  fall  over  his  eyes,  and  the 
scene  vanished  from  his  vision.  How  long  he  remained 
thus  he  could  not  tell.  But  he  was  presently  aroused  by 
an  uproarious  explosion  of  laughter.  He  started  up,  and 
looking  to  the  right  and  left,  beheld  only  mirthful  faces 
and  merry  glances  from  different  quarters  directed  toward 
himself.  He  could  not  conjecture  the  meaning  of  it,  and" 
might  have  remained  in  ignorance  until  startled  again, 
had  not  Mr.  W.,  Mary's  father,  approached  and  asked  him 
if  he  was  in  the  habit  of  snoring. 

This  opened  Nap's  eyes.  He  saw  it  all  then.  And 
he  immediately  retired  to  his  state-room.  Being  larger 
and  heavier  than  Jack,  who  was  still  in  conversation  with 
the  Philadelphians  and  New  Yorkers,  he  took  possession 
of  the  lower  berth.  He  was  soon  snoring  again  ;  but  the 
loud  conversation  going  on  in  the  cabins,  mingled  with 
laughter,  and  the  rapping  of  knuckles  on  the  tables,  that 
occasionally  jingled  with  the  specie  so  often  won  and  lost, 
seemed  for  a  time  to  swallow  up  the  sounds  emitted  from 
his  nostrils.  When  the  hour  arrived  for  the  games  to 
cease,  and  for  the  ladies  to  be  enclosed,  by  the  shutting  of 
the  great  folding-doors,  within  their  ow^n  cabin,  the  nasal 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  189 

notes  from  Nap's  state-room  became  more  painfully  per- 
ceptible. 

Mary  W.  and  her  mother  occupied  a  state-room  next  to 
the  partition  separating  the  ladies'  from  the  gentlemen's 
cabin;  and  first  on  the  gentlemen's  side  was  the  state- 
room in  which  Nap  was  snoring.  Mary  was  just  unlacing 
her  corsets,  which  had  bound  her  palpitating  heart  in  too 
small  a  compass,  and  was  beginning  to  breathe  freely,  when 
she  was  startled  by  the  grating  sound. 

^'What's  that,  mother  ?"  cried  she,  stooping  in  a  listening 
attitude,  her  soft  dark  hair  falling  over  her  shoulders. 
Her  mother  was  sleeping  calmly,  having  retired  early. 
"Mother!"  she  continued,  "what  makes  *  that  horrid 
noise?" 

"What's  the  matter,  child?"  asked  the  mother,  opening 
her  eyes. 

"Don't  you  hear  ?" 
"  Yes,  indeed  !     That's  a  man." 
"  A  man  ?  Mercy  on  us  !     Where  is  he  ?" 
"  In  the  next  room,  and  in  the  gentlemen's  cabin.     A 
thin  pknk  only  separates  our  room  from  his." 
"It's  too  bad!     I  can't  sleep  so  near  him." 
"Pooh!  he's  asleep.     What's  the  danger ?" 
"But  I  hear  every  breath  he   takes.     Who  can  fall 
asleep  with  such  a  sound  as  that  in  one's  ears  ?" 
"Try,  Mary.     There  is  no  remedy." 
"I  will  try,  but  I  know  I  shan't  succeed.". 
She   did  try,  without  success.      And  her  mother  now 
fared  no  better.     For  hours  they  lay  awake  under  the  in- 
fliction ;  and  Nap  surely  had  his  revenge  without  know- 
ing it. 

Jack,  being  somewhat  fatigued,  and  long  accustomed  to 
the  sound,  had  fallen  asleep  after  tossing  about  impatiently 
for  an  hour. 

But  not  so  with  the  gentlemen  and  stewards  in  the  vi- 
cinity. As  they  reclined  one  after  another,  some  in  their 
berths,  and  some  upon  the  floor,  (there  being  a  great  many 


190  ^LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

passengers,)  and  when  a  comparative  silence  otherwise 
reigned  in  that  part  of  the  boat,  the  snoring  seemed  to 
grow  upon  them  until  it  expanded  into  the  terrific  vibrations 
of  a  hotel  gong.  Hopes  were  expressed  that  the  sound 
might  soon  cease.  Jokes,  at  the  expense  of  the  snorer, 
were  related.    And  finally  some  maledictions  were  uttered. 

Mrs.  W.  summoned  Ellen,  the  chambermaid.  She  de- 
clared it  was  impossible  for  any  one  to  sleep  within  hear- 
ing of  such  a  monster,  and  requested  that  something  might 
be  done  to  abate  the  nuisance.  Ellen,  proverbially  ac- 
commodating, passed  into  the  gentlemen's  cabin,  and  made 
known  the  nature  of  the  grievance  to  the  head  steward. 
The  steward  got  up  and  listened  some  time  with  his  ear 
near  the  doors  of  the  two  state-rooms.  But  so  distracting 
and  voluminous  was  the  sound  that  he  could  not  be  certain 
whether  it  proceeded  from  Nap's  room,  or  the  one  next  to 
it,  occupied  by  a  Presbyterian  clergyman,  and  Frank  B.,  of 

B .    Both  rooms  were  locked  on  the  inside,  and  the  only 

way  in  which  he  could  interfere  would  be  to  awaken  the 
sleeper  by  calling  or  knocking.  He  hesitated  to  do  either, 
because  he  could  not  be  absolutely  sure  who  it  was  that 
snored.  Ellen  saw  the  difficulty,  and  promised  to  explain 
it  to  Mrs.  W.  But  before  withdrawing  her  head  from  the 
partially  opened  folding-doors,  she  told  the  steward  she 
had  heard  that  if  some  one  were  to  whistle  in  the  vicinity 
of  the  snorer,  he  would  cease  the  annoyance.  She  then 
withdrew. 

The  steward,  quite  as  incapable  of  enjoying  his  accus- 
tomed repose  as  the  rest,  tried  the  experiment  of  whistling. 
It  had  no  efi'ect,  of  course.  Then,  after  listening  some 
time  longer  to  the  discordant  note,  he  lost  his  temper,  as 
some  stewards  are  sometimes  in  the  habit  of  doing,  and 
uttering  a  furious  oath,  hurled  a  chair  at  the  door  of  the 
room  occupied  by  the  parson  and  young  B.  The  crashing 
sound  brought  them  both  out  in  their  night-garments. 

"God  bless  me!  wh<it  has  happened?"  exclaimed  the 
preacher,  with  his  hands  uplifted,  and  trembling. 


OF  A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  191 

"I  suppose  somebody  fell  from  the  table,"  said  B. 
"The  boat's  going  ahead;  that  convinces  me  nothing 
serious  has  happened." 

The  steward  confessed  that  some  one  (he  did  not  say 
who  did  it)  had  thrown  a  chair  against  the  door,  to  stop 
the  snoring  within.  Now  the  snoring  had  ceased.  Nap 
had  sprung  up,  and  was  about  to  open  the  door,  when  he 
heard  the  steward's  explanation.  Of  course  he  desisted, 
and  laid  down  again. 

"But  I  didn't  snore,"  said  the  parson. 

«I  don't  snore,"  said  B. 

"  Somebody  over  there  has  been  snoring  like  thunder !" 
cried  a  man  in  an  opposite  state-room.  "I'm  glad  you 
stopped  it,  steward." 

"  You  see  the  snoring's  stopped,"  said  the  steward,  really 
believing  he  had  aimed  the  chair  at  the  right  door. 

"  It  could  not  have  been  me,"  persisted  the  parson.  "I 
am  a  married  man,  and  surely  my  wife  would  have  told 
me  if  I  had  been  in  the  habit  of  doing  it." 

a  J) d  if  I  snore!"  said  B.,  forgetting  the  parson's 

presence,  and  turning  in  again.  He  was  followed  by  the 
preacher,  and  the  door  was  once  more  locked. 

But  before  those  who  had  been  the  victims  of  the 
annoyance  could  have  time  to  sink  into  the  repose  they 
so  much  needed,  the  grating  sound  again  saluted  their 
ears. 

Frank  B.  immediately  opened  the  door  of  his  room  and 
came  forth  to  vindicate  himself. 

"You  see  now,  it  was  not  me,  nor  my  room-mate  either. 
It  is  some  one  next-door." 

The  steward  admitted  his  innocence,  and  said  he  would 
now  find  the  guilty  one,  and  move  him  to  some  other  part 
of  the  boat.  About  the  same  time,  a  voice  in  the  ladies' 
cabin  was  heard  calling  for  Ellen.  But  Ellen  had  vanished, 
no  one  knew  whither. 

The  rapping  of  the  steward  awakened  Handy. 

"Who's  there  ?"  he  asked. 


192  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"Me — the  steward." 

"What  do  you  want?" 

"  I  want  to  see  the  man  in  the  other  berth." 

"He's  asleep.     Is  it  a  matter  of  importance?" 

"  Yes,  sir  ;  of  very  great  importance." 

"  Get  up,  Nap — some  one  wants  to  see  you,"  said  Jack, 
shaking  his  companion. 

"  Well  ?     What  is  it  ?"  asked  Nap. 

"  Some  one  wants  to  see  you." 

"  Oh,  yojir  granny!  What  does  any  one  want  to  see  me 
at  this  time  o'  night  for?  Be  kind  enough  to  say  I'm 
engaged." 

"  It  is  one  of  the  officers  of  the  boat ;  and  you  must 
get  up." 

Nap  did  so  very  reluctantly ;  and  when  he  had  drawn 
on  his  pantaloons,  he  strode  forth  in  no  very  good  humour. 

"Well,  what  do  you  want  with  me,  steward !"  he  asked. 

"  Some  ladies  and  gentlemen,  sir,  say  you  snore  so 
loudly  they  cannot  rest;  and  they  have  asked  me  to  re- 
quest you  to  sit  up  and  keep  awake  until  they  get  asleep." 

"  Is  that  all  ?  I  certainly  do  not  snore  louder  than 
the  escape-pipe  puffing  off  its  steam,  do  I  ?  Why  don't 
they  ask  you  to  have  the  engine  stopped  till  they  get 
asleep?" 

"  Oh,  they're  used  to  that.'* 

"Why  don't  they  get  used  to  the  other?  I  hear 
several  other  persons  snoring,  now.  Why  do  they  single 
out  me  ?" 

"Yours  is  altogether  a  different  snore.  Sometimes  it's 
like  the  sawing  of  planks,  and  sometimes  it's  like  boilers 
bursting." 

"  Do  the  ladies  hear  me  !     What  ladies?" 

"  Mrs.  W.  and  her  daughter  are  in  the  next  room  to 
yours." 

Nap  said  nothing ;  but  he  felt  rather  gratified  to  learn 
that  Miss  Mary  had  suffered  a  little.  However,  being 
very  sleepy,  and  deeming  it  uncertain  when  every  one  but 


OP   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  19S 

himself  might  be  oblivious  of  sounds  in  their  deep  repose, 
he  proposed  to  lie  down  at  the  other  end  of  the  cabin. 
The  steward  ordered  one  of  his  boys  to  make  him  a  bed 
on  the  table  in  the  place  indicated.  Here  Nap  once  more 
prostrated  his  relaxed  body,  and,  as  usual,  his  escape-pipe 
was  heard  again.  Unfortunately,  several  gentlemen  in  the 
vicinity  were  not  yet  slumbering  so  profoundly  as  to  be 
insensible  to  the  infliction. 

One  of  Nap's  neighbours,  a  Mr.  N.  H.,  lying  on  the 
same  table,  (which  extended  nearly  the  whole  length  of 
the  cabin,)  had  been  unlucky  at  cards,  having  lost  a 
considerable  sum  of  money,  and  of  course  was  in  no  good 
humour  with  any  one,  not  even  with  himself.  He  exe- 
crated himself  for  << calling"  a  stronger  "hand"  than  his 
own,  when  he  might  have  won,  as  he  generally  did,  by 
"strong  bluffing."  While  pondering  over  this  matter,  and 
turning  impatiently  from  one  side  to  the  other,  his  ears 
were  assailed  by  the  universally  unpopular  snore  of  Nap. 
He  listened  a  few  moments,  and  then  smiled  maliciously, 
utterly  forgetting  his  ill-luck  in  his  contemplated  amuse- 
ment. He  reached  down  and  awakened  a  cabin-boy  under 
the  table.  He  placed  a  quarter  of  a  dollar  in  the  little 
fellow's  hand,  and  whispered  something  in  his  ear.  The 
boy  nodded  assent,  and  disappeared  by  way  of  one  of  the 
doors  leading  out  on  the  guards,  while  N.  H.  breathed 
deeply,  as  if  in  a  profound  slumber. 

When  every  one  seemed  to  be  quite  still,  the  rascally 
urchin  reappeared  with  a  pan  of  water  in  his  hand.  He 
strode  stealthily  toward  the  head  of  Nap.  Looking  several 
times  from  his  position  toward  his  couch  under  the  table,  as 
if  calculating  the  distance,  and  the  time  it  would  require 
to  reassume  his  late  recumbent  posture,  he  paused  with  the 
pan  suspended  in  his  hands.  He  then  dashed  its  contents 
over  the  neck  and  face  of  Nap,  and  vanished  under  the 
table,  concealing  the  pan  among  his  bed-clothes. 

"Hello!  Ugh!  Hello,  I  say!"  cried  Nap.  "  Tho 
boat's  sunk !    The  boat's  sunk  !"    He  tumbled  ciown  on  the 

17 


194  LIFE   AND  ADVENTURES 

floor,  and  rolled  over  on  his  face,  kicking  lustily  with  his 
feet,  and  striking  out  his  hands,  as  if  swimming  in  the 
river. 

A  simultaneous  unlocking  of  state-rooms  was  heard, 
and  a  moment  after  the  cabin  was  entered  bj  many 
half-dressed  male  passengers.  These  were  immediately 
joined  by  as  many  women  in  their  night-gowns  and  white 
caps,  who  came  pouring  in  from  the  ladies  cabin.  Screams 
and  howls  w^ere  heard  in  every  direction ;  but  N.  H.  and 
the  cabin-boy  seemed  to  remain  fast  asleep.  Ellen  now 
appeared  and  strove  to  calm  the  ladies,  assuring  them 
nothing  serious  had  happened. 

Meantime  Nap  continued  his  struggles  on  the  floor. 

"  Seize  his  feet  and  hands  !"  cried  some  one,  and  it  was 
done.     Joe  T.  and  Jno.  P.  held  him. 

"  Hold  me  fast,  boys ;  I  can't  swim.  Don't  let  me 
sink !"  cried  Nap. 

^'  How  deep  is  the  water.  Nap  ?"  asked  Joe,  smiling, 
and  presuming  it  was  only  a  bad  dream  which  had  fright- 
ened him. 

"How  deep?"  iterated  Nap,  wiping  his  eyes  and 
staring  around,  f'lt  was  over  my  head!  My  hair  is 
wringing  wet." 

Captain  Jewett,  who  approached  the  scene  of  confusion, 
suspected  some  trick  had  been  played  on  him. 

"Dick,"  said  he  to  the  cabin-boy,  "you  know  something 
about  this.  Who  threw  the  water  in  the  gentleman's 
face?"  - 

"  I  was  fast  asleep,  sir  !  How  could  I  know  any  thing 
of  it?" 

"What's  this  pan  doing  here?"  continued  the  Captain, 
kicking  it  from  under  the  bed-clothing. 

<«  I  don't  know,  sir.     I  didn't  have  it." 

"  You  lie,  you  rascal !  Mr.  Wax,  I'll  punish  the  boy. 
But  some  one  hired  him  to  do  it.  Who  was  it,  Dick?" 
Dick  whispered  who  it  was  ;  but  the  Captain  did  not  say 
any  thing   to   N.  H.,  not  wishing   to   have   any  further 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  195 

disturbance,  and  secretly  rejoicing  at  the  occurrence,  for 
he  well  knew  Nap's  habit  of  annoying  others.  So,  after 
repeating  his  purpose  of  having  the  offenders  properly 
punished,  he  led  Nap  to  his  own  state-room,  where  he  was 
permitted  to  snore  ad  libitum  the  balance  of  the  night. 


CHAPTER  XVII. 


Nap  and  Jack  arrive  at  St.  Louis — Their  produce  well    sold — Buying 
exchange — Nap  presents  a  check  payable  to  his  own  order,  and  is 

incensed  at  the  conduct  of  the  teller — Taking  passage  for  M e — 

They  arrive  at  C on  foot — Nap's  meeting  with  old  Brindle  and 

with  Sting — The  young  men  conceal  themselves  till  night  at  the  inn — 
The  hostess's  news  and  advice. 

When  Nap  arrived  in  St.  Louis,  he  found  quite  as  much 
money  subject  to  his  order  in  the  hands  of  his  commission 
merchant  as  he  had  calculated  upon.  His  beeswax  had 
brought  twenty-four  cents  per  pound;  his  deer-skins, 
twenty ;  his  coon-skins,  thirty  cents  each ;  and  his  minks, 
fifty.     Handy  was  also  quite  as  fortunate  in  his  shipment. 

The  next  thing  to  be  done  was  to  procure  bills  of 
exchange,  payable  in  the  East.  This,  Mr.  T.  offered  to 
obtain  for  Nap  from  Messrs.  J.  J.  A.  &  Co.  The  drafts  were 
to  be  drawn  on  the  Messrs.  S.  P.  &  Co.,  while  Mr.  Wm.  M. 
M.,  a  true  friend  of  the  Handys,  was  to  give  Jack  his 
own  drafts  on  the  Messrs.  F.  &  Co.,  and  on  one  of  the 
Eastern  banks,  where  he  was  in  the  habit  of  keeping  funds 
on  deposite. 

Bat  before  Nap's  business  could  be  despatched  it  was 
necessary  to  present  a  check  he  had  obtained  from  a 
tobacco  agent  at  the  counter  of  the  Bank  of  Missouri. 
This  Mr.  T.  intended  to  do  for  him ;  but  that  gentleman 
being  called  aside  by  some  one  with  whom  he  was  in  treaty 
for  a  cargo  of  coffee.  Nap  took  up  the  check  and  went  to 


196  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

the  bank  liimself.  He  placed  it  in  the  hand  of  the  paying 
teller. 

"This  is  good,"  said  the  bank  officer. 

"  I  know  it,"  said  Nap ;  '^  I  gave  gold  for  it.  Just 
give  me  five  hundred  dollars  of  your  bank  paper  for  it." 

''It  is  payable  to  the  order  of  N.  B.  Wax,"  said  the 
official.     "  It  must  be  endorsed  by  him." 

''  Oh,  I  forgot  that !"  said  Nap,  taking  up  his  pen  and 
writing  his  name  on  the  back  of  the  check.  "  There,"  he 
continued  ;  "  now  it  is  endorsed." 

"Yes,  it  is  endorsed;  but  we  don't  know  who  did  it," 
said  the  money  functionary,  glancing  at  the  shabby  exterior 
of  our  hero. 

"  You  don't  know  who  did  it?" 

«No." 

u  Why,  durn  it !  didn't  you  just  see  me  do  it?"; 

"Oh  yes." 

"Well,  I'm  N.B.  Wax." 

"  I  don't  deny  it.     But  I  don't  know  it.''" 

"  Don't  know  it  when  you  see  me,  and  hear  me  say  so  ?" 

"  I  never  saw  you  before.  How  can  I  know  you  are 
not  somebody  else." 

"  Somebody  else  beside  myself !  Colonel  Benton's 
right.     Down  with  the  impudent  banks,  I  say !" 

"  If  some  one  were  to  steal  a  check  from  you,  ought  I 
to  pay  it  to  the  thief?" 

"No.     But  I  am  no  thief!" 

"  Excuse  me.     I  don't  know  that." 

"  Confound  you" here  Nap  checked  himself,  seeing 

the  teller  was  perfectly  cool.  "  I-I'll  bring  a  man  here, 
sir,  you  do  know — one  who  knows  me — and  knows  I'm  no 
thief.  I'll  sue  you,  sir  I  Durn  your  bank !  I'll  never 
have  any  thing  to  do  with  it  again.  I'll  bring  a  man  who 
knows  me,  sir!" 

The  teller  informed  him  that  that  was  precisely  what  he 
wished  him  to  do,  and  what  he  should  have  done  at  first. 

Nap  retired  in  a  great  rage.     When  he  repeated  to  Mr. 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  197 

T.  "what  had  taken  place,  that  gentleman  smiled,  placed 
his  own  name  on  the  back  of  the  check,  and  sent  it  by  a 
black  porter  to  the  bank,  who  soon  returned  with  the 
money.  Nap  was  not  fully  reconciled  even  when  the 
necessity  of  the  course  adopted  by  the  teller  was  explained 
to  him.  lie  could  not  see  why  payment  should  be  refused 
to  him  and  granted  to  a  negro. 

Meeting  Jack  at  the  office  of  Mr.  M.,  whose  checks 
were  not  quite  in  readiness,  Nap  proposed  going  down  to 
the  wharf  and  engaging  a  state-room  on  one  of  the  Ohio 
river  boats,  and  then  having  their  baggage  taken  on  board 
while  Jack  was  adjusting  his  business.  To  this  Jack 
readily  agreed,  and  so  Nap  sallied  out  alone,  and,  at  the 
water's  edge,  accosted  the  clerk  of  the  B.  F. 

"What  is  the  passage  to  M e?"  asked  he. 

"Four  dollars,"  said  the  clerk,  gkncing  at  Nap's  cow- 
eaten  hat,  and  at  his  tattered  garments. 

"  That's  low  enough.  There  are  two  of  us  ;  we'll  take 
the  same  state-room." 

"  State-room  ?     You  want  a  cabin  passage  ?" 

"  To  be  sure  we  do  !  Do  you  think  we're  deck  passen- 
gers?" 

"Oh,  you  can  go  in  the  cabin  if  you  like;  but  it  is 
eight  dollars  there— eight  dollars  each." 

"  So  you  meant  a  deck  passage  ?  I  always  go  in  the 
cabin,  sir — and  I'm  always  able  to  pay  my  passage,  sir." 

"Very  well.     I  don't  dispute  it." 

"  But  you  were  going  to  put  me  among  the  deck  pas- 
sengers*!    Do  I  look  like  a  deck  passenger  ?" 

"I've  seen  as  good-looking  men  among  them.  But  I'm 
busy  now,  unless  you  want  a  row.  I  always  take  time  for 
that!" 

Nap  didn't  want  a  row.  Nor  did  he  like  the  laughter 
that  ensued  from  the  crew.  So  he  said  he  would  go  on 
board  and  select  a  state-room. 

On  board  he  confronted  the  second  or  "mud  clerk,"  ir, 
the  office. 

17* 


198  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

<'  I  want  to  engage  a  state-room  in  the  cabin,  sir,"  said 
he,  <'for  myself  and  friend.  Let  me  see  the  register,  if 
you  please." 

t'lt  is  locked  up,"  said  the  "mud  clerk,"  closing  it 
before  Nap's  eyes,  "  and  the  captain's  got  the  key." 

"  I  thought  that  was  it  you  just  shut  up,"  said  Nap. 

"  That's  another  one,"  said  the  clerk,  looking  contemp- 
tuously at  Nap's  garments.  "But  if  you  want  a  state- 
room, I'll  make  a  memorandum  of  your  name  and  take  the 
money.     No  room  is  engaged  till  paid  for." 

"Are  there  many  rooms  not  engaged?" 

"Only  two,"  said  the  imperturbable  "mud  clerk," 
although  the  truth  was  just  the  reverse,  for  only  two  had 
yet  been  taken. 

"Let  me  see  them,  if  you  please,"  said  Nap,  secretly 
rejoicing  that  he  had  not  delayed  his  application  until  it 
was  too  late. 

"  Here's  one  of  them,"  said  the  clerk,  when  he  led  Nap 
to  the  room  opposite  the  wheel-house,  on  the  right-hand 
side  of  the  cabin. 

"  But  it's  dark,  being  against  the  wheel-house,  where 
there  will  always  be  a  furious  knocking  of  the  paddles. 
I  don't  like  it.    There  won't  be  light  enough  to  shave  by." 

"The  barber  shaves  the  gentlemen." 

"Yes,  at  a  dime  apiece.     He  don't  shave  me !" 

"Well,  suppose  you  look  at  the  other  room.  I  think  it 
will  please  you  better." 

It  was  just  opposite,  and  precisely  similar  to  the  first. 
The  only  difference  was,  that  it  was  against  the  larboard 
wheel-honse. 

"I  don't  like  it,"  said  Nap. 

"It's  'Hobson's  choice;'  the  only  chance  for  a  ride  on 
the  B.  F." 

"  Well,  I'll  take  the  other.  Let  us  go  to  the  office  and 
settle." 

Nap  had  paid  for  the  passage  of  himself  and  Jack,  and 
was  just  departing  from  the  office,  when  a  finely  dressed 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  199 

gentleman  stepped  up  and  asked  if  any  choice  state-rooms 
remained  unengaged. 

<' Plenty,  sir!"  responded  the  clerk. 

Nap  paused  abruptly.  But  after  some  hesitation,  not 
wishing  to  get  into  a  "row,"  he  strode  away,  groaning  as 
he  thought  of  the  indignities  he  suffered  on  account  of 
Molly  Brook.  And  he  determined  that  when  his  interview 
with  her  was  over,  to  show  the  world  that  he  could  wear  as 
fine  clothes  as  anybody  else. 

It  was  perhaps  a  fortunate  thing  for  Nap  that  he  was 
put  into  the  dark  room.  It  was  certainly  lucky  for  the 
rest  of  the  passengers,  as  the  continued  thumping  of  the 
wheel  in  his  vicinity  prevented  his  snoring  for  once  from 
being  extensively  heard.  The  voyage  was  without  special 
incident  to  M e,  where  the  young  men  entered  a  stage- 
coach. 

Arrived  at  M g,  Kentucky,  our  young  men  descended 

from  the  stage.  They  were  now  within  ten  miles  of  their 
early  home,  where  their  aged  mothers  still  dwelt.  Although 
they  certainly  were  richer  than  when  they  set  out  in  quest 
of  their  fortunes,  yet  they  did  not  choose  to  hire  a  car- 
riage, or  even  a  pair  of  horses,  to  convey  them  the  re- 
mainder of  the  distance.     They  resolved  to  make  an  early 

start  the  next  morning,  and  go  on  foot  to  C ,  their 

native  village. 

So,  at  the  hour  appointed,  Nap  and  Jack,  each  with  a 
small  knapsack,  trudged  along,  in  happy  companionship, 
on  the  great  highway  leading  toward  their  parents  and 
sweethearts. 

Sometimes,  communing  only  with  their  own  thoughts, 
they  walked  for  many  minutes  in  silence.  Often  their 
sensations,  as  scenes  of  infantile  delights  were  recalled  to 
memory,  seemed  too  sacred  for  expression.  At  other 
times,  as  reminiscences  of  the  past  crowded  upon  their 
minds,  all  their  powers  of  speech  were  brought  in  requisi- 
tion, and  yet  their  tongues  failed  to  keep  pace  with  their 
thoughts. 


200  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

However  humble  may  have  been  one's  early  home,  and 
few, his  comforts  in  childhood,  still,  if  his  absence  be  not 
too  long  protracted,  he  feels  a  thrill  of  pleasure — sad,  it 
may  be,  but  still  a  pleasure — upon  returning  to  it.  If 
there  be  no  friendly  faces  to  give  him  a  kindly  greeting, 
yet  he  feels  a  glow  of  affection  for  the  trees,  the  brooks, 
and  the  hills  where  in  boyhood  he  wandered. 

Neither  of  our  young  men  had  enjoyed  the  luxuries  of 

life  during  their  abode  in  C ;  poor  and  insignificant, 

no  one  had  felt  any  interest  in  their  welfare,  save,  perhaps, 
the  members  of  their  own  families,  and,  it  might  be,  the 
young  ladies  for  whom  they  had  conceived  the  passion  of 
lovers.  Yet,  as  they  approached  the  town,  every  familiar 
object  arrested  their  attention,  and  often  exacted  the  tri- 
bute of  an  honest  tear.  They  lingered  under  the  tall 
sugar-maples,  just  bursting  their  buds,  upon  whose  strong 
boughs  they  had  once  fastened  the  vine-swing,  and  whiled 
away  many  an  innocent  hour.  They  strayed  through  the 
pastures,  draped  in  early  green,  which,  when  schoolboys, 
they  had  traversed  so  often  and  so  joyfully.  The  lark 
which  now  sprang  up  from  their  path  and  soared  and  sang 
so  blithely,  seemed  to  be  the  same  that  had  enchanted 
their  youthful  hearts.  The  brook  that  gurgled  over  its 
pebbly  bed,  although  it  certainly  did  not  disport  the  same 
waters,  was  nevertheless  quite  as  pellucid,  and  seemed  in 
no  manner  changed  since  the  time  they  were  wont  to 
cast  their  lines  upon  its  surface. 

Such  v^ere  their  feelings  and  impressions  when  they 
came  within  sight  of  the  village.  Hitherto,  neither  of  the 
young  men,  although  they  had  been  met  by  divers  persons 
whose  faces  they  knew,  had  yet  elicited  a  recognition  from 
any  human  being.  No  wonder,  then,  their  affection  was 
the  more  intense  for  inanimate  objects.  They  could  not 
evince  a  desire  to  avert  their  faces  from  their  old  acquaint- 
ances, whether  they  returned  with  improved  fortunes  or  as 
paupers.  They  neither  stared  them  coldly  in  the  face,  nor 
frowned  upon  them  with  aversion. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  201 

"  There's  an  old  friend  will  know  me  !"  cried  Nap,  run- 
ning out  on  the  common,  and  endeavouring  to  embrace  old 
Brindle,  his  mother's  cow,  which  he  used  to  drive  home  of 
evenings,  and  which  always  permitted  him  to  hold  one  of 
her  horns,  and  caress  her  neck  as  much  as  he  pleased. 
But  Nap  was  mistaken  this  time.  She  did  not  know  him. 
She  shook  her  head  at  him,  and  shied  around  with  her  tail 
erect,  her  eyes  gleaming  with  surprise  and  fear,  mingled 
with  anger,  and  her  nostrils  emitting  a  deep-drawn  breath. 

"Ah,  old  Brindle!"  said  Nap,  bitterly,  "I  would  have 
almost  as  soon  thought  of  being  repulsed  by  my  own  mo- 
ther as  by  you !  You  nursed  me  !  For  years  I  subsisted 
on  your  rich  milk,  and  I  thought  you  could  never  forget 
me.  But  you  have  forgotten  the  nubbins  you  received 
from  my  hand,  before  I  forget  the  many  rich  draughts 
that  nourished  me,  drawn  from  your  teats  !" 

"Nap,"  said  Jack,  ''she  don't  know  you  in  these  clothes. 
And  if  she  won't  recognise  you  thus  costumed,  how  can 
you  expect  to  get  a  hearty  reception  from  Molly?  It  is 
not  right,  Nap.  At  least  throw  away  your  old  straw  hat, 
and  put  on  the  cap  in  your  knapsack." 

"  To  satisfy  you,  Jack,  I  will.  And  I  must  own  the  old 
hat  does  cut  too  bad  a  figure.  Here,  Brindle,  it  shall  be  a 
peace-offering  to  you.     One  cow  had  a  bite  of  it" 

"But  then  it  was  new,"  said  Jack,  seeing  the  cow  turn 
away  from  the  hat  which  had  been  thrown  on  the  grass 
before  her,  after  smelling  it  once. 

<■<■  She's  an  old  brute  !"  said  Nap  ;  "and  I'll  not  drink 
her  milk  again.  But  yonder  comes  one  of  the  family  that 
I  am  sure  will  know  me,"  he  continued,  espying  Sting,  his 
mother's  terrier  dog,  w^iich  had  been  taught  to  follow  the 
cow,  and  to  drive  her  home  in  the  evening.  "Here  Sting! 
come  here,  my  little  fellow,"  said  Nap,  endeavouring  to 
place  his  hand  upon  him  as  he  met  him  in  the  path.  But 
Sting  growled  and  snapped  at  his  fingers.  "Go,  and  be 
blamed  to  you,  you  rascally  son  of  a  b !"  exclaimed 


202  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

Nap,  red  -with  anger.  "  I  snatched  that  dog  out  of  the 
pond,  when  he  was  a  pup,  but  four  days  old,  and  carried 
him  home.  I  placed  him  on  a  blanket,  near  the  fire,  and 
raised  him  with  the  bottle.  Old  Brindle's  milk  sustained 
him.  We  were  like  brothers.  And  now  you  see  his 
ingratitude !  He's  like  the  viper.  He  would  bite  the 
hand  that  rescued  him  from  death  !" 

"  It's  your  old  clothes,  Nap.  That  dog  thinks  his  mas- 
ter should  make  a  more  genteel  appearance.  Nap,  you 
must  put  on  your  other  coat  before  you  go  home,  or  else 
your  own  mother  will  be  ashamed  of  you." 

"If  she  is,  I'll  hang  myself.  But  she  won't  be.  I 
know  her  too  well.  If  I  stood  under  the  gallows,  it  would 
make  no  difference  with  her.  But,  hello  !  here's  Sting 
smelling  about  my  feet  and  wagging  his  tail.  Sting ! 
don't  you  know  me  ?"  He  did,  at  last.  He  now  wriggled 
his  tail  faster  than  one  would  suppose  it  possible  the  motion 
of  that  member  could  go.  He  whined,  he  barked,  and 
finally  leaped  up  in  Nap's  arms,  who  hugged  him  aff'ec- 
tionately,  and  wept  over  him  truly  like  a  brother.  «'  Poor 
Sting !  You  didn't  know  me  at  first,  and  you  couldn't 
help  it.     I  forgive  you.     You  are  not  ungrateful.     You 

are  not  a  rascally  son  of  a  b .     My  poor  Sting  !" 

■  "Put  down  the  dog.  Nap,"  said  Jack,  petulantly.  "He 
has  muddied  your  shirt-bosom,  and  torn  your  vest.  The 
people  will  think  we  are  crazy." 

"  Let  'em  think  what  they  please,  Jack.  Sting  is  my 
friend,  and  I  am  his ;  and  I  will  not  slight  a  friend  to 
please  idle  spectators.  But  who's  looking  at  us  ?  I  don't 
want  it  to  get  out  before  night  that  we  have  arrived.  And 
then  I'm  sure,  if  Sting  had  the  power,  he  would  celebrate 
the  event  by  an  illumination." 

'"Let  us  go  to  the  inn,  then,  and  conceal  ourselves.  We 
know  how  to  get  in  the  back  way,  and  Mrs.  Ilankin  will 
hide  us." 

"Agreed.     But  how  am  I  to  get  rid  of  Sting?     You 


OF  A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  203 

see  he  won't  leave  me.  And  if  he  did,  I'm  sm*e  he'd  make 
the  news  known  to  my  mother.  She  understands  his  looks, 
and  can  read  every  wag  of  his  tail." 

"  Bring  him  along,  then.  We  must  make  him  a  pri- 
soner." 

Mrs.  R.  did  cheerfully  undertake  to  conceal  the  arrival 
of  the  young  men.  She  had  water,  soap,  and  towels 
taken  to  their  room,  they  being  much  needed,  and  likewise 
sent  them  a  bountiful  supply  of  substantial  refreshments. 
And  before  the  shades  of  evening  began  to  gather  over 
the  village,  Mrs.  R.  presented  herself  at  their  door,  and 
most  graciously  offered  to  impart  any  information  she 
could  in  regard  to  the  changes,  present  condition  of  the 

people,  &c.,  in  C .    From  her  Jack  learned  that  Kate 

had  no  new  beau.  Her  relative  and  guardian.  General 
Frost,  remained  quite  as  frigid  as  ever,  and  never  failed 
to  chill  away  any  young  man  who  ventured  to  visit  his 
house  for  the  purpose  of  seeing  his  niece.  Kate  alone 
had  the  courage  to  face  the  old  General,  and  to  oppose 
his  unreasonable  exactions;  and  to  her,  alone,  he  was 
sometimes  in  the  habit  of  yielding.  She  was  the  only 
relative  he  had  in  the  world,  her  father  having  been  his 
only  brother.  He  was  her  guardian,  and  managed  her 
little  fortune,  to  which  might  some  day  be  added  his  own, 
that  was  larger,  provided  she  remained  with  him  and 
obeyed  him,  or  married  with  his  consent.  He  was  a  tall, 
white-haired  old  bachelor.  He  had  served  with  distinction 
in  the  war  of  1812,  and  had  been  subsequently  elected  to 
Congress,  and  was  once  the  Governor  of  the  State. 

Mrs.  R.,  however,  informed  Jack,  with  a  significant 
smile,  that  if  Kate  did  not  often  have  visitors  at  the  man- 
sion of  her  aristocratic  kinsman,  yet  she  was  by  no  means 
compelled  to  remain  at  home  in  utter  seclusion.  From 
her  earliest  childhood  she  had  been  in  the  habit  of  visiting 
at  will  the  houses  of  her  schoolmates,  whether  haughty  or 
humble,  although  but  few  of  her  friends  had  access  to  her 
guardian's  mansion,  and  this  habit  she  had  not  relinquished 


204  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

in  womanliood.  Many  a  social  hour  she  would  spend  with 
Mrs.  Handy  and  Mrs.  Wax.  She  was  on  very  intimate 
terms  with  Molly  Brook ;  and  Mrs.  R.  said,  to  her  certain 
knowledge,  the  girls  never  met  without  talking  of  their 
absent  beaus  in  Missouri. 

"In  misery?"  asked  Nap,  who  was  near  the  window, 
shaving  himself,  and  did  not  distinctly  hear  what  was  said. 
His  thoughts  might  have  also  been  partly  absent,  and 
dwelling  upon  Polly.  "If  they  think  I  have  been  misera- 
ble," he  continued,  "they  are  mistaken.  There  are  as 
pretty  flowers  in  the  prairie  as  in  the  town." 

"In  Missouri,  I  said !"  replied  Mrs.  R.  "La  me,  you 
mustn't  think  they  want  to  have  their  lovers  miserable ! 
They  want  to  make  'em  happy.  And  they'll  do  it,  too ! 
You  have  no  idea  how  the  girls  have  changed.  I  think  you'll 
both  say  they  are  the  handsomest  women  you  ever  laid 
your  eyes  on.     And  so  merry — they're  always  laughing.'* 

"  That's  by  no  means  an  agreeable  thing  for  us  to  hear," 
said  Jack,  folding  a  note  he  had  written  to  Kate,  which 
Mrs.  R.  had  promised  to  have  delivered. 

"  La,  man,  would  it  make  you  happy  to  see  the  girl  you 
love  always  miserable  ?" 

"  No,  not  miserable ;  but  a  little  sad  because  I  was 
away." 

"  Oh,  nonsense.  They  do  right  to  keep  up  their  sperits 
as  well  as  they  can.  The  more  they  laugh  the  longer 
they'll  look  young.  Look  at  me.  They  say  I've  laughed 
every  waking  hour  since  I  was  born." 

"  I  don't  object  to  their  laughing,  so  they  don't  do  it  in 
the  company  of  the  gentlemen." 

"  And  do  you  run  away  from  all  the  young  ladies  you 
meet  with  out  in  the  wild  Missouri?" 

"  Do  we.  Nap  ?"  asked  Jack,  turning  archly  to  his  com- 
panion in  love's  fetters. 

"  That's  neither  here  nor  there.  I  intend  to  haul  Molly 
Brook  over  the  coals,"  said  Nap,  gravely. 

"And  if  you  do,  you'll  get  your  fingers  burnt!"  said 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  205 

Mrs.  R.  "  She's  changed,  I  tell  you.  But  she's  prettier. 
She's  full  of  sly  humour,  and  looks  serious  when  she's  the 
most  merry.  She  has  jokes  and  all  sorts  of  tricks  at  her 
fingers'  ends.  Take  care  you  don't  offend  her,  or  she'll 
put  you  off  a  year  longer  than  she  intended." 

"Let  her.     She  may  put  me  off  for  ever  1" 

"  Now,  Nap,  I  know  that's  no  such  a  thing  !  Nobody 
that  ever  did  love  such  a  nice,  interesting  girl  as  Molly 
Brook,  could  ever  wish  that.  You  don't  know  how  beau- 
tiful her  complexion  is  with  her  second-mourning  dress  on, 
and  how  her  dark  eyes  flash  sparks  of  fire  when  she  has 
something  wicked  in  her  head" 

"Wicked?" 

"  Oh,  I  mean  innocent  mischief.  And  she  has  the 
darkest  and  silkiest  and  glossiest  and  longest  hair  in  the 
world.  If  I  was  a  man,  I  couldn't  keep  my  hands  ofi"  of 
her." 

"  The  deuce  you  couldn't !  And  perhaps  some  of  the 
men  don't  keep  their  hands  off?" 

"  'Gustus  Smart,  the  lawyer's  son,  couldn't.  He  asked 
her  if  he  mightn't  pay  his  addresses  in  earnest." 

"And  what  did  she  say?" 

"Say?     She  slapped  his  face,  and  set  Sting  at  him  !'* 

"  Good  I     Hurra  for  Sting  !" 

"  I  say  huzza  for  Molly.  Everybody  praised  her  to  the 
skies  !" 

"  Everybody  had  better  mind  their  own  business  !"  said 
Nap,  churlishly. 

"  That's  true,  Mr.  Nap ;  and  you  had  better  attend  to 
yours,  if  you  don't  want  that  trump  of  a  girl  to  slip  through 
your  fingers.  And  the  wisest  thing  you  can  do  will  be  to 
put  on  your  best  'bib  and  tucker,'  before  you  show  your- 
self to  her." 

"  I'm  determined  to  make  my  appearance  in  these  very 
clothes." 

"  What  ?    If  you  do,  you'll  deserve  to  be  hissed  !" 

"  The  clothes  don't  make  the  gentleman." 

18 


206  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

"But  they  make  the  first  impressions.  We  see  them 
first,  because  they're  outside ;  and  the  world  often  judges 
the  inside  by  the  outside,  as  they  do  apples.  I  know  when 
a  handsomely  dressed  gentleman  sits  down  at  our  table,  he 
gets  a  better  dinner  for  the  same  money  than  a  vagabond- 
ish  looking  one  does.  But  it's  time  for  me  to  be  bustling 
about  the  supper.     Good  night.     Remember  my  advice." 

Saying  this  with  a  serious  toss  of  the  head,  Mrs.  R. 
withdrew. 

Our  young  gentlemen  soon  after  descended  to  the  street 
and  proceeded  to  the  humble  domicils  of  their  aged  ma- 
thers,  while  the  stars  blinked  merrily  at  them. 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 


Nap's  mother  criticises  his  clothes — Meeting  of  the  lovers — Nap  is 
repulsed  by  Molly's  father,  and  insulted  by  Mr.  Smart — Jack  makes 
him  send  a  challenge,  and  gets  him  out  of  the  scrape — Nap  throws 
off  his  rags  and  becomes  a  dandy — Polly's  father  learns  he  has 
money,  and  becomes  reconciled  to  him. 

We  need  not  narrate  the  particulars  of  the  meeting  of 
the  young  gentlemen  with  their  aged  mothers.  How  could 
it  be  otherwise  than  affectionate  and  happy?  At  the 
tables  of  both  the  fattest  pullets  were  served  up  at  supper, 
and  specimens  of  the  best  preserves  the  houses  afforded 
were  displayed.  For  Sting,  particularly,  it  was  a  jubila- 
tion. He  frisked  from  one  room  to  another,  following 
his  old  mistress  in  her  search  for  dainties,  and  appeared 
to  sanction  every  thing  she  did  in  honour  of  her  son's 
return.  And  even  the  old  cow  seemed  to  have  caught  the 
enthusiasm,  for  she  lowed  incessantly  at  the  garden  gate. 
Mrs.  Wax  said  she  knew  it  was  for  Nap,  and  that  old 
Brindle  would  never  see  a  happy  moment  until  he  forgave 
her  for  not  recognising  him. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  207 

But  wHen  the  first  transports  of  the  meetmg  began 
to  subside,  as  all  transports  must  do,  Mrs.  Wax  could  not 
avoid  looking  from  Nap's  face  to  his  clothes  and  his  piti- 
able boots. 

"Why,  Nap,"  said  she,  "how  travelling  does  wear  out 
one's  clothes !  I'll  run  and  see  if  your  poor  papa's  black 
coat  is  not  too  much  moth-eaten  for  you  to  put  on.  He 
left  a  good  pair  of  boots,  nearly  new,  when  he  died.  I'll 
get  them  for  you  also." 

''No;  don't,  mother,"  said  Nap,  with  a  firm  expression 
of  countenance.     ''I  couldn't  get  them  on." 

''  That's  true !  You  are  larger  than  your  papa  was. 
He  had  small  feet,  and  was  never  fat  like  you.  You  take 
after  me.  Nap.  But  I'll  send  down  to  the  Jew  clothing- 
store.  They'll  fetch  up  the  things  to  fit  you  out.  Don't 
shake  your  head.  Nap.  I've  got  money  enough  to  pay  for 
'em.  I'm  not  so  poor  as  some  of  the  rich  folks  think. 
There's  a  hundred  dollars  in  the  old  walnut  desk."  She 
said  this  in  a  whisper,  so  that  the  hired  negro  girl  might 
not  hear  it. 

''  Never  mind,  mother ;  I  have  a  reason  for  appearing 
thus." 

"  But,  Nap,  I  have  a  reason  for  wishing  you  to  appear 
otherwise.  I  am  older  than  you,  and  have  seen  more  of 
the  world" 

"Not  more  of  the  world,  mother." 

"Well,  more  of  life,  then  ;  and  more  of  human  nature. 
My  reason  is  this.  Some  of  the  girls  may  come  in  pre- 
sently. They  do  it  at  all  hours,  and  without  ceremony. 
You  have  no  idea  how  many  come  to  see  me.  They  have 
comforted  me  a  great  deal  in  your  absence." 

"  It  was  no  comfort  to  me,  mother,  to  hear  that  they — 
and  Molly  Brook  among  them — came  here  to  make  fun 
of  my  being  taken  for  a  bear,  and  being  nearly  shot." 

"  They  wouldn't  have  done  it.  Nap,  if  it  hadn't  been 
for  Jack  Handy's  letter,  saying  the  guns  were  not  loaded. 


208  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

Wlij,  I  laughed  myself,  till  the  water  streamed  from  my 
eyes." 

''Jack's  always  forestalling  me.  He  had  no  business 
writing  any  such  letter.  I  wanted  to  see  how  Molly  would 
behave,  and  judge  whether  she  cared  any  thing  for  me." 

''  She  does  care  for  you,  Nap.  She's  a  splendid  girl, 
and  I  hope  you  will  do  no  worse  when  you  marry.  All  I 
fear  is  she  won't  have  you.  Her  father  wants  her  to 
marry  young  Smart,  because  his  father's  making  money, 
and  because  he  always  dresses  so  genteelly.  I'll  send  for 
the  Jew,  Nap,  to  fit  you  out.  I  have  no  other  use  for  my 
money.     Providence  will  supply  me  with  more." 

Nap's  mother  had  been  kept  in  ignorance  of  his  success 
in  business.  Or  rather,  not  being  aware  of  the  profits 
realized  in  the  far  West  on  the  sales  of  merchandise,  his 
appearance  had  filled  her  with  secret  misgivings  that  he 
might  have  returned  penniless,  and  perhaps  even  pinched 
with  hunger. 

"  No,  mother.  You  must  let  me  have  my  own  way  this 
time.  I  have  made  a  vow  to  meet  Molly  attired  just  as  I 
am.  I  will  be  able  to  judge  then  whether  she  most 
admires  the  man  or  his  clothes." 

"  But  why  not  let  her  admire  both  ?  One's  clothes  don't 
set  up  to  be  one's  rival.  Well,  have  your  own  way — only 
my  money  is  at  your  service." 

"  Money  !  Mother,  I'm  going  to  tell  you  a  secret.  I 
am  not  a  beggar.  I  don't  return  worse  ofi"  than  I  was 
when  I  left  home." 

"You  had  five  hundred  dollars.  Nap,  when  you  left 
home." 

<'Let  me  whisper  something  in  your  ear,  mother.  I 
have  brought  hack  three  thousand  dollars!'' 

This  announcement  was  certainly  gratifying  to  his 
affectionate  parent ;  but  it  did  not  make  so  great  an 
impression  as  Nap  thought  it  would.  The  efi"ect  was  not 
so  thrilling  as  he  supposed  it  might  be.  Her  love  would 
have   been   the   same,  perhaps  greater,  if  he  had  been 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  209 

clothed  with  her  little  savings.  Yet  she  was  pleased  to 
hear  it,  for  she  knew  he  had  come  by  it  in  an  honest  way ; 
and  she  felt  the  pride  and  satisfaction  of  being  convinced 
that  when  his  success  was  made  known  in  the  village,  the 
people  would  treat  him  with  more  respect  than  they  had 
been  in  the  habit  of  doing.  That  was  the  extent  of  her 
exultation.  Riches  had  no  intrinsic  value,  in  her  estima- 
tion, besides  the  influence  they  exerted  over  the  minds  of 
others.  Contentment  was  her  motto  ;  and  she  knew  that 
one  could  be  happy  with  a  mere  sufficiency  to  supply  one's 
moderate  daily  wants. 

<«  Then,  Nap,"  said  his  mother,  after  some  grave  re- 
flection, "Jet  me  send-^word  to  Molly  that  you  have  made 
a  fortune,  if  you  don't  choose  to  dress  extravagantly." 

"  No — not  for  the  world  !  That  would  spoil  my  stra- 
tagem!" 

But  Jack  had  already  informed  her  of  it.  In  his  letter 
to  Kate,  written  at  the  inn,  he  had  explained  every  thing. 
And  as  he  was  not  sure  upon  what  footing  he  might  be 
received  at  the  mansion  of  General  Frost,  he  had  beirjred 

'  too 

her  to  meet  him  at  the  cottage  of  Nap's  mother,  accom- 
panied by  Molly. 

Just  as  Nap  uttered  the  word  "stratagem,"  the  gate  in 
front  of  the  cottage  was  heard  to  open,  and  the  friendly 
wag  of  Sting's  tail  made  his  mistress  aware  that  some  of 
her  familiar  visitors  were  approaching.  A  moment  after, 
delicate,  half-suppressed  laughter  was  heard  in  the  yard. 

"  There  they  come.  Nap  !  I  thought  some  of  the  girls 
would  be  here.  They  come  nearly  every  night  to  keep 
me  company.  They  are  lively,  good  girls.  I  do  wish  you 
had  on  fine  clothes." 

"Mother,"  said  Nap,  resolutely,  "never  mind  my 
clothes.  I  have  a  great  design  in  appearing  thus,  and  the 
issue  of  my  scheme  may  decide  my  happiness  for  life.  Do 
you  go  into  the  parlour,  and  give  them  the  usual  welcome. 
Don't  be  excited  and  raise  their  curiosity.  Molly  may 
not   be  with  them.     Just   do  as  usual.      Don't  for    the 


210  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

world  hint  that  I  am  here.     I  will  come  in  at  the  proper 
time." 

His  mother  left  him  to  obey  his  injunctions.  She  strove 
to  meet  Molly  and  Kate  in  the  ordinary  manner ;  but  she 
could  not  altogether  conceal  her  happiness.  The  girls 
strove  likewise  to  conceal  their  knowledge  of  the  arrival 
of  the  strangers.  But  to  do  so  they  had  frequently  to 
avert  their  faces  and  indulge  in  uproarious  merriment. 

Mrs.  Wax,  however,  could  not  avoid  seeing  that  the 
young  ladies  wore  richer  dresses,  and  had  their  hair 
arranged  with  greater  care  and  taste  than  usual  on  such, 
unceremonious  visits.  And  this  again  startled  her  appre- 
hensions for  the  consequences,  when  Nap  should  make  his 
appearance  in  their  presence. 

"I  want  a  glass  of  fresh  water,  Mrs.  Wax,"  said 
Molly,  rising,  <'and  will  go  for  it  myself.  Don't  yoa 
move." 

"But  I  will!  I'll  get  it  for  you,  Molly.  Sit  still!" 
cried  Mrs.  Wax,  seeing  that  the  giddy  girl  was  about  to 
enter  the  room  where  she  had  left  her  son,  and  through 
which  it  was  necessary  to  pass  to  obtain  the  water. 

But  Molly  had  already  sprung  through  the  door  and 
was  out  of  sight.  She  passed  premeditatedly  through  the 
room  in  which  Nap  was  sitting,  without  recognising  him. 
She  had  braced  herself  for  the  accomplishment  of  that 
feat.  She  certainly  saw  him,  and  He  perceived  she  did. 
But  without  raising  her  eyes  to  his,  she  merely  paused  a 
moment,  as  if  in  surprise  to  meet  a  stranger  there,  and 
then  passed  on  without  speaking,  and  before  the  petrified 
youth  had  time  to  recover  his  self-possession  or  utter  one 
word. 

Nap's  temples  burned  with  emotion  of  mingled  chagrin 
and  indignation.  He  thought  if  such  was  to  be  his  re- 
ception by  his  early  sweetheart,  the  sooner  he  returned  to 
Missouri  and  married  Polly  Hopkins  the  better.  And  he 
wished  that  Polly  could  be  transported  in  a  moment  to  his 
presence,  that  he  might  marry  her  at  once,  and  before  the 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  211 

face  of  Molly,  and  thus  he  would  be  sufficiently  revenged. 
He  resolved  now  not  to  remain  alone  in  the  room  till  Molly 
returned,  and  so  he  joined  his  mother  in  the  parlour. 

Jack  had  soon  followed  the  girls  to  the  cottage,  and 
his  meeting  with  Kate  had  been  mutually  agreeable,  and 
altogether  such  as  they  had  desired  and  anticipated.  And 
when  Nap  appeared  before  them,  Kate,  as  had  been  pre- 
concerted, gave  him  a  most  enthusiastic  greeting,  with- 
out once  seeming  to  glance  at  his  mean  attire. 

"You  are  a  happy  man.  Jack,"  said  Nap,  when  the 
salutation  was  over.  "  Kate  is  made  of  the  right  sort  of 
stuif" 

"  Of  flesh  and  blood,  Nap,"  said  she. 

"  Of  the  best  blood.  I  shall  believe  in  blooded  nags 
hereafter" 

"You  talk  as  if  I  were  of  the  imported  stock  !" 

"  And  so  you  are — and  of  the  highest  quality  too. 
They  may  say  what  they  please  about  General  Frost,  and 
the  aristocracy  of  your  family  ;  but  I  like  it,  because  it  is 
as  true  as  steel,  and  never  flinches  for  time,  distance,  or 
circumstance." 

"Why,  Nap,  what  does  all  this  mean?"  asked  Kate,  in 
pretended  surprise.  "  Why  are  you  praising  me  ?  Where's 
Molly?" 

"  I  don't  know.     I  saw  her  run  into  the  kitchen." 

"You've  seen  her,  then?" 

"Yes,  I've  seen  her — and  seen  enough  of  her.  But 
she  wouldn't  see  me !  She  didn't  know  me  in  these 
clothes  !" 

"  Ha  !  ha  !  ha !  Was  it  any  fault  of  hers  if  she  didn't 
know  you  ?" 

"  How  did  you  know  me  ?  If  it  were  not  for  Jack, 
and" 

"Polly?"  asked  Handy. 

"  Yes — I  would  oS"er  to  marry  you  on  the  spot !" 

"You  would?" 

"  Hanged  if  I  wouldn't !" 


212  ^         LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"And  wliat  answer  would  you  make,  Kate?"  asked 
Jack. 

"  Why,  if,  and  if,  and  so  forth,  I  would  take  the  matter 
into  serious  consideration.  What  care  I  for  one's  exterior  ? 
The  heart  is  the  thing;  and  I'm  sure  Nap  has  a  large  one." 

<'  Kate,  I  have  !     But  it  has  been  sorel/  tried." 

"Don't  let  it  break,  Nap.  Molly  will  make  amends. 
Here  she  comes." 

Molly  came  gliding  in  with  a  glass  of  water  in  her  hand, 
and  seeing  Jack  first,  let  the  glass  fall  to  the  floor  and  ran 
to  him.  She  grasped  his  hand,  and  declared  she  was  glad 
to  meet  with  him. 

"Molly,  have  you  forgotten  Nap?"  asked  Mrs.  Wax, 
pointing  to  her  son,  who  had  stepped  back  into  an  obscure 
corner.  '"^ 

"No!  Where  is  he?  Oh,  I'm  dying  to  see  him  !  Is  he 
in  town  ?" 

"  There  he  is." 

"  Where  ?  Nap  !  Is  this  you  ?  Why,  it  is  !  Oh,  I'm 
BO  glad !  Why  do  you  shrink  away  so  ?  Won't  you — 
won't  you  take  my  hand  ?  There  it  is !  Yes  he  will  ! 
How  you  have  improved  !  Nap,  you  are  a  fine-looking 
fellow,  now.  I  don't  care  for  your  travelling-dress;  I 
don't  care  for  poverty — the  heart,  the  heart  is  every  thing 
among  old  friends  !" 

"  There  Nap,"  said  his  mother,  her  eyes  streaming  with 
tears  of  pleasure,  "  that's  Molly !  It  is  her  way.  She's 
a  noble  girl !" 

"Molly !"  said  Nap,  in  a  tremulous  voice. 

"Nap  I"  said  she,  smiling,  and  still  permitting  him  to 
hold  her  hand. 

"Molly — I — thought  you  had  forgotten  me." 

"Why?" 

"Because  you  wouldn't  speak  to  me  in  the  back-room, 
when  you  passed  through  it  for  the  water." 

"Was  that  you?  I  didn't  look  at  your  face.  Why 
didn't  you  speak  ?" 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.     »^  213 

"I  couldn't ;  I  was  choked." 

"And  I  couldn't  look  up;  I  was  frightened." 

"There's  a  mutual  explanation,"  said  Kate,  "and  it's 
all  over.     Nap,  do  you  like  me  as  well  as  ever  ?" 

"  Oh  yes ;  I  have  a  heart  large  enough  to  love  every- 
body." 

"  You  have  ?"  demanded  Molly. 

"  I  mean  to  be  friendly  with  all." 

"And  that's  right,"  said  his  mother. 

"  The  heart  is  every  thing,"  said  Molly.  "No  matter 
what  the  form  may  be,  whether  handsome  or  homely ;  or 
the  dress,  whether  costly  or  common ;  if  the  heart  be  true, 
it  compensates  for  every  other  deficiency." 

"Molly,"  said  Nap,  with  enthusiasm,  "your  heart  is  as 
true  as  steel.  I  thought  differently  once,"  he  added  in  a 
low  tone. 

"  Why  ?" 

"  Because  you  wouldn't  answer  me  affirmatively  when  I 
desired  to  know — you  remember — and  I  attributed  your 
hesitation  to" 

"What?"  she  asked  in  a  half-whisper,  seeing  Jack  and 
Kate  enjoying  an  interesting  t^te-a-t^te  in  the  opposite 
corner,  while  Mrs.  W^ax  was  bustling  about  in  quest  of 
preserved  fruits  and  currant  wine. 

"  My  poverty." 

"  Our  poverty,  and  our  youth.  We  were  too  poor  and 
too  young  to  settle  such  serious  affairs,  and  so  we  are  still. 
But  we  maj-  laugh  over  our  old  sports,  and  enjoy  our- 
selves." 

"  Day  after  to-morrow  I  must  leave  you." 

"  Day  after  to-morrow  ?"  Neither  Kate  nor  Molly  had 
been  informed  that  the  young  men  were  merely  passing  on 
their  way  to  the  East,  and  had  achieved  decided  success  in 
Missouri.     "  And  where  are  you  going.  Nap  ?" 

"  To  Philadelphia  and  New  York,  to  purchase  goods. 
Molly,  now  or" 

"Never?" 


214  •        LIFE  AND   ADVENTURES 

"  It  may  be  so.  Unless  it  is  to  get  a  wife,  it  will  be 
quite  impossible  for  me  to  visit  Kentucky  on  my  retm-n  to 
Missouri.  But,"  he  continued,  Ms  heart  wholly  recap- 
tured as  he  gazed  at  the  handsome  girl,  "  if  you  will  go 
with  me  to  Venice,  I  will  surely  come  for  you." 

She  promised  to  write  him  her  determination.  He 
might  look  for  a  letter  soon  after  reaching  Philadelphia. 
That  was  reasonable,  and  Nap  was  in  high  spirits.  The 
image  of  Polly  then  faded  from  his  mind,  or  assumed  a  re- 
pulsive shape.  Such  w^as  the  impressible  nature  of  Mr. 
Wax.  '  f 

And  Jack  ventured  to  make  a  similar  proposition  to 
Kate.  But  Kate's  father  had  provided  in  his  will  that  if 
his  daughter  married  contrary  to  the  wishes  of  her 
guardian  before  she  arrived  at  the  age  of  twenty-one,  her 
fortune  should  all  go  to  General  Frost.  And  that  was 
not  all :  the  General,  whom  she  sincerely  esteemed,  had 
her  voluntary  promise  not  to  marry  without  his  consent 
during  her  minority.  She  was  then  just  twenty.  There 
was  one  whole  year  to  elapse  before  Jack's  hopes  could  be 
realized.  She  felt  quite  certain  that  the  General  would 
not  give  his  consent  for  her  to  wed  young  Handy,  and  he 
had  her  solemn  promise  not  to  marry  during  the  period 
named.  So  there  was  nothing  left  them  but  patiently  to 
await  the  fulfilment  of  the  allotted  time.  But  during  the 
interval  she  resolved  to  convince  her  guardian  that  no 
other  person  could  make  an  impression  on  her  heart. 

The  sweetmeats  furnished  by  the  old  lady  having  been 
partaken  of  wdth  an  appreciating  appetite  by  the  young 
people,  the  rest  of  the  evening  was  spent  in  the  narration 
of  adventures :  in  Missouri,  by  the  young  men ;  in  Ken- 
tucky, by  the  young  ladies.  And  as  the  ladies  were  the 
last  to  speak,  which  is  said  to  be  not  unfrequently  the 
case,  it  was  not  to  be  wondered  at  that  when  the  clock 
struck  ten,  Nap  startled  them  all  by  a  premonitory  blast 
of  his  nasal  trumpet.  He,  of  course,  apologized,  and 
Jack  assisted  him.     They  had  walked  so  far  that  day,  had 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.      ••  215 

slept  SO  little  the  night  before,  &c.  &c.  The  girls  only 
laughed  the  more  heartily  as  the  boys  grew  the  more  elo- 
quent. 

But  the  time  had  come  for  the  young  ladies  to  depart, 
and  they  arose  for  that  purpose.  It  was  but  a  few  steps 
to  General  Frost's  mansion,  and  thither  Handy  conducted 
Kate,  while  Molly  was  adjusting  her  shawl. 

When  Nap  and  Molly  sallied  out  into  the  street,  they 
were  met  by  two  men  who  paused  in  front  of  them.  By 
the  light  of  the  moon  they  were  recognised  to  be  Molly's 
father  and  Mr.  Augustus  Smart,  the  young  lawyer. 

"  Take  my  arm,  Molly,"  said  the  former.  "  I  don't  ap- 
prove of  your  going  about  of  nights,  or  in  the  daytime 
either,  with  this  idle  vagabond." 

"Idle  vagabond,  father !" 

t' You  haven't  looked  at  his  clothes,  Molly,"  said  Smart. 
<'  I  saw  him  on  the  common  with  a  dirty  dog  in  his  arms." 

"And  you  told  it  to  my  father !" 

"I  called  to  see  you;  you  were  away.  Your  father 
asked  the  news,  and  the  return  of  Nap  was  all  I  had  to 
tell  him." 

<  Good-bye,  Nap,"  said  Molly,  relinquishing  our  hero's 
arm,  and  obeying  the  command  of  her  father. 

"Good-bye,  Molly,"  exclaimed  Nap,  in  a  tragical  tone, 
having  been  hitherto  speechless.  "  But,  Mr.  Brook,"  he 
continued,  following  them  a  few  steps,  "  it's  all  a  lie  about 
my  being  a  vagabond" 

"A  lie,  sir  !"  exclaimed  Smart. 

«I — I've  got  three  thousand  dollars,  Mr.  Brook,"  con- 
tinued Nap,  in  a  bolder  voice,  still  following;  "I've  got 
them  in  drafts,  sewed  up  in  my  drawers,  and  if  you'll  come 
to  mother's  in  the  morning,  I'll  show  them  to  you.  That's 
more  than  you  have  got  yourself,  or  Mr.  Smart's  father 
either.  Vagabond,  indeed  !  I  wore  these  old  clothes  pur- 
posely to  try  Molly's  heart,  and  it's  as  true  as  steel.  I'll 
put  on  better  to-morrow,  if  they  are  to  be  had  in  the  vil- 
lage for  money,  and  then  we'll  see  who's  the  finest  gentle- 


216  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

man,  Mr.  Augustus  Smart  or  Nap  Wax.  I  haven't  told  you 
all  yet,  Mr.  Brook,"  said  the  excited  Nap,  still  following, 
•while  the  one  addressed  seemed  to  linger  and  listen.  «*  I 
own  a  whole  town,  sir,  with  the  exception  of  some  lots  I 
gave  away." 

"What  town?"  asked  Brook. 

"Venus !"  cried  Nap,  unconscious  of  his  mistake  in  his 
whirling  perturbation  ;  "  and  Colonel  Benton  says  I  am  to 
be  the  ^  Dodge  of  Venus  !'  " 

"And  Colonel  Benton  knows,"  said  Smart,  "you'll 
dodge  any  thing  that  kicks  at  you." 

"But  you  won't  dodge  out  of  the  way  when  kicked.  I 
know  Molly  kicked  you." 

"I'll  see  you  to-morrow!"  said  Smart,  recollecting 
Nap's  constitutionarl  weakness.  "  Please  accept  my  arm, 
Miss  Molly,"  he  continued,  turning  to  the  girl. 

"Excuse  me  !"  was  heard  by  Nap,  as  he  wheeled  round 
and  retraced  his  steps  toward  his  mother's  cottage.  Soon 
he  met  Jack,  to  whom  he  related  all  that  had  occurred. 

"Now,  Nap,"  said  Jack,  after  some  little  reflection, 
"  you  have  an  opportunity  to  distinguish  yourself." 

"How?" 

"  He  said  he  would  see  you  to-morrow?" 

"He  either  said  that,  or  else  I  would  hear  from  him." 

"  Good;  Nap,  I  know  him  to  be  a  coward" 

"  Are  you  sure  ?  If  I  thought  so,  I'd  give  him  a  thrash- 
.ng. 

"Nonsense.  You  never  were  rational  on  the  subject  of 
fighting.  But  as  he  meddled  in  this  matter,  and  slandered 
you  to  Molly's  father,  I  would  not  wait  to  hear  from  him.'* 

"Would  you  go  before  he  has  time  to  come  or  send  ?" 

"Listen  to  me,  and  take  my  advice.  I  never  got  you 
into  a  scrape  in  my  life,  but  I  have  helped  you  out  of  dif- 
ficulties." 

"  True,  Jack,  and  I  pledge  myself  to  follow  your  in- 
structions." 

"Very  well.     Then,  at  early  dawn,  Smart  must  hear 


OF  A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  217 

from  you.  He  must  read  your  note  in  bed.  I  will  bear 
it.  You  must  demand  satisfaction,  and  invite  him  to  meet 
you  with  pistols  on  the  common  before  breakfast." 

"Why,  Jack,  blood  might  be  spilt !" 

"  Not  a  drop.  I'll  engage  that  neither  of  you  shall  be 
injured.  Nor  shall  you  fight.  He  will  not  accept  the 
challenge,  I  am  sure.  But  if  he  should  do  so,  rely  upon 
me  to  prevent  the  meeting.  You  will  have  no  use  for 
pistols,  and  need  not  procure  any." 

"I  hope  he  won't  get  any,  either !"  said  Nap. 

"  I  am  certain  he  will  not.  Come  into  your  mother's 
cottage  and  write  what  I  shall  dictate." 

It  was  done,  under  the  repeated  assurances  of  Handy 
that  nothing  serious  should  grow  out  of  it.  The  note  was 
a  peremptory  demand  to  meet  the  writer  at  the  time  and 
place  indicated. 

Long  before  the  sun  had  risen.  Jack  had  penetrated  the 
bedroom  of  Mr.  Augustus  Smart. 

i'By  Jupiter,  Jack,  is  it  you?"  exclaimed  Smart,  rising 
up  in  bed  and  extending  his  hand.  "I  knew  you  had 
arrived ;  but  I  did  not  expect  you  would  be  the  first  to 
call.  I  intended  to  go  over  to  your  mother's  immediately 
after  breakfast.  Well,  how  have  you  been,  old  fellow  ?  I 
am  very  glad  to  see  you." 

"  I  am  very  well ;  and  my  friend  Nap  is  well  also.  He 
has  changed  much,  however,  since  he  left  Kentucky." 

"Is  the  tale  about  his  having  made  money,  true  ?" 

"Every  word  of  it.  But  that  is  not  what  I  meant. 
You  know  he  was  once  supposed  to  be  constitutionally  a 
coward." 

"  Oh  yes.  I've  thrashed  him  many  a  time,  when  he 
might  have  whipped  two  of  my  weight  if  he  had  chosen. 
But  he  hasn't  changed  in  that  respect,  has  he  ?" 

"He  has.  In  Missouri,  he  practised  with  gun  and 
pistol,  first  at  a  target.  When  he  became  a  good  shot,  he 
tried  his  skill  at  animate  objects.  He  shot  one  or  two 
individuals  in  Missouri." 

19 


218  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"  The  devil  lie  did  !  What  a  change  !  I  must  let  him 
alone,  then.  I  did  intend  to  call  hira  to  an  accounx 
for  an  insinuation  he  made  last  night,  which  I  didn't  relish. 
But  I'll  not  do  it." 

••'He  was  fearful  you  would  not.'" 

"Fearful  I  would  notf' 

«Yes." 

"I  will  not,'' 

"  Hence  he  determined  to  make  a  call  upon  you.  He 
charged  me  to  deliver  this  note." 

Mr.  Augustus  Smart  turned  very  pale  as  his  jjo  ra*^ 
over  the  brief  epistle,  and  he  trembled  perceptibly. 

"Handy!"  said  he,  springing  up,  and  endeavouring  to 
put  on  his  clothes,  "do  you  know  what  he  has  written 
me?     Just  read  it." 

"He  read  it  to  me  before  he  sealed  it." 

"  Per-per-haps,  then,  you  are  his  fr-friend?"  said 
Smart,  between  his  quivering  teeth. 

"  I  am.  We  were  always  friends.  I  hope,  though,  this 
matter  may  be  attended  by  no  fatal  consequences.  Of 
course  you  w411  be  on  the  ground  with  your  friend.  Good 
morning." 

"  Stay  !  Don't  go  yet,  Handy.  I've  got  no  friend.  I 
don't  believe  I  ever  had  one  in  my  hfe  !  Won't  you  be  my 
friend,  too?" 

"I  cannot  take  the  responsible  position  of  being  the 
friend  of  both  on  such  an  occasion." 

"  I  mean  a  mediator.  Can  you  not  reconcile  us  ?  Can't 
a  meeting  be  prevented  ?" 

"Oh,  certainly,  in  the  usual  way,  you  know." 

"Tell  me  how?" 

"I  will." 

Taking  up  a  pen.  Jack  wrote  a  few  lines  on  a  sheet  of 
paper  he  found  upon  the  table. 

"  Sign  this,  Smart,  and  the  whole  matter  will  be  ami- 
cably adjusted." 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  219 

"  I  will !"  cried  Smart,  after  reading  it  hastily.  «  There ' 
Now  I  hope  it  is  all  over." 

"I  hope  so,"  said  Jack,  preparing  to  depart. 

"  You  merely  hope  so  ?" 

"  I  know  so,  so  far  as  you  are  concerned.  If  he  doea 
not  ratify  what  I  have  done,  I  shall  take  your  place  on  the 
common.     You  may  go  to  bed  again  and  sleep  in  peace." 

Smart  did  go  to  bed,  but  not  to  sleep,  after  such  a 
spasm  of  excitement ;  and  Jack  proceeded  briskly  and 
gayly  to  Mrs.  Wax's  cottage. 

'i  Have  you  seen  him  ?"  asked  Nap. 

<'Ohyes.    It's  all  settled." 

"Settled?  What  do  you  mean?  You  know  it  was 
agreed  there  should  be  no  fighting.  I  won't  fight.  It's 
against  the  law — its  against  my  conscience,  and" 

"  It  goes  against  the  grain  !" 

"Yes.  I'll  not  fight.  Jack;  and  I  hope  you  haven't 
settled  it  that  we  shall  meet." 

"  Suppose  you  fire  with  powder  only." 

"  'Twon't  do.  I  won't  risk  it.  He  might  slip  in  a  piece 
of  lead." 

"  But  what  can  you  do  if  he  accepts  the  challenge,  and 
demands  a  meeting?" 

"Back  out.     I'll  do  it!" 

"What  would  Molly  say?" 

"  If  she  cares  any  thing  for  me,  she'll  be  glad  of  it.  If 
she  would  have  me  shot,  what  better  proof  need  one  have 
that  she  is  indifierent  about  my  fate.  Then  why  should  I 
hesitate  on  her  account?  What's  that?"  added  Nap, 
seeing  the  note  in  Jack's  hand. 

"It  is  his  answer.     Read  it." 

Nap  did  so.  It  was  a  full  retraction  and  a  complete 
apology.     Nap  rubbed  his  eyes  and  read  it  over  again. 

"Durn  him !"  cried  he,  "I've  got  him  down  as  flat  as  a 
flounder !  Jack,  I  ^hank  you.  I  feel  like  a  hero.  I 
believe  now  it  is  always  the  best  way  to  put  on  a  <  stiff 
upper  lip,'  and  act  the  <  dare-devil.'     I'll  do  it  hereaftei , 


220.  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

Molly  shall  know  all  about  this  affair.  I'm  sure  it  will 
please  her  to  have  a  brave  sweetheart,  and  to  learn  that 
the  persecuting  Gus  Smart  has  been  cowed." 

The  Jew  clothier  was  now  sent  for,  and  Kap  was  soon 
transformed  from  a  vagabond  into  a  dandy.  From  the 
crown  of  his  head  to  the  sole  of  his  foot,  the  metamor- 
phosis was  complete.  He  likewise  bought  sundry  articles 
of  jewelry,  and  among  them  three  or  four  rings  for  his 
fingers,  the  largest  ones  the  Jew  could  furnish.  He  also 
purcJiased  a  quizzing-glass,  which  he  suspended  from  a 
button-hole  by  a  ribbon,  in  imitation  of  Colonel  Benton, 
who  was  under  the  ^.^oossity  of  using  a  magnifier  when 
reading  small  print. 

Thus  attired,  our  hero  sallied  forth  and  boldly  presented 
himself  at  the  house  of  Mr.  Brook,  and  was  instantly 
admitted  by  that  gentleman.  Mr.  B.  had  learned  from 
Handy  that  Nap  had  not  exaggerated  in  regard  to  his 
fortune,  and  he  now  hastened  to  explain  away  his  seem- 
ingly unfriendly  treatment  of  the  preceding  evening.  He 
attributed  it  all  to  the  representations  of  Smart,  whom  he 
denounced  as  a  slanderer,  and  as  one  deserving  disgrace 
and  punishment. 

"  He'll  not  meddle  again !"  said  Nap,  proudly.  "  I  have 
settled  with  him,  and  hermetically  closed  his  lips  for  the 
future." 

"  How  ?"  asked  Mr.  Brook. 

t'What  have  you  done?"  cried  Molly,  fixing  her  large 
dark  eyes  on  Nap  in  utter  amazement. 

"Read  that !"  said  he. 

It  was  done. 

"  Good-!"  said  Mr.  Brook.  "  That's  the  end  of  him. 
He  must  leave  Kentucky  after  that.  He  can  go  to  Oregon 
or  California.  I  didn't  think  such  courage  was  in  you. 
Nap." 

''You  didn't  demand  satisfaction?''  asked  the  incredu- 
lous Molly. 


OF  "A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  221 

"  I  did.  I  challenged  him  to  fight  me  with  pistols ! 
And  that,  too,  on  the  common,  before  breakfast !" 

Molly's  astonishment  was  very  great ;  and  her  father's 
admiration  of  Nap's  conduct  knew  no  bounds.  He  even 
intimated  very  distinctly,  that  henceforth  his  opposition 
to  our  hero's  marriage  with  his  daughter  would  cease.  He 
then  withdrew  and  left  them  together. 

But  the  news  of  the  challenge  did  not  excite  Molly's 
admiration.  Nor  did  Nap's  metamorphosis  seem  to  please 
her  much  better.  She  was  grave  and  taciturn,  and  the 
ronversation  ended  without  any  further  preliminaries  of 
the  match  being  settled. 

Meantime,  Mr.  Brook  hastened  to  circulate  in  the  village 
the  news  of  Nap's  success  in  Missouri,  as  well  as  an  account 
of  his  triumph  over  Smart.  Nap  was  instantly  a  hero 
and  a  gentleman,  and  not  without  honour  in  his  own 
country. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 


General  Frost  lectures  Kate  on  the  blessings  of  celibacy,  and  the  curses 
of  democracy — Mr.  Brook  informs  the  General  how  Jack  managed 
the  affair  of  honour — The  General  approves  his  conduct — Nap  sits  in 
the  porch  of  the  inn,  and  acts  the  lion — Jack  and  Nap  set  out  on 
their  Eastern  journey — The  hack  breaks  down,  and  they  linger  on 
their  old  play-ground — A  row  in  Bullock's  orchard. 

<'Kate,  if  there  is  any  thing  in  your  nature  I  like  above 
all  the  other  qualities  you  possess,  it  is  your  fearless  can- 
dour, your  perfect  honour.  It  shows  the  stock  whence 
you  derive  your  blood  and  name.  How  much  better, 
how  much  braver,  in  you  to  be  the  first  to  tell  me  young 
Handy  had  returned,  and  that  you  were  in  his  company 
last  evening,  than  to  wait  for  others  to  bring  me  the  news !" 

This  of  course  was  spoken  by  the  old  General,  wrapped 
in  his  velvet  gown,  and  sitting  in  the  library  of  his  spa- 

19* 


222  LIFE   AND   ADVENTUIIBS 

cious  mansion,  while  Kate  occupied  a  chair  on  the  opposite 
side  of  the  fire-place. 

"  I  never  have  deceived  you,  sir,  and  I  never  will.  I 
will  do  nothing  which  I  am  ashamed  to  avow." 

«'I  know  it,  Kate.  I  know  that  very  well.  Else  I 
would  not  trust  you  alone,  to  go  and  come  when  you 
please.  You  are  a  Frost — you  will  never  forget  that,  Kate. 
It  is  a  good  name,  and  a  good  family.  And  it  seems  to 
me  the  strangest  thing  in  the  world  that  any  one  should  be 
desirous  of  changing  it.  You  cannot  possibly  get  a  better 
one.     Don't  give  it  up,  Kate." 

"  Do  you  know  any  marriageable  bachelor  of  the  name 
of  Frost,  sir?" 

"No,  Kate,  not  one.     But  why  do  you  ask?" 

"  Simply  to  find  out  whether  you  desire  me  to  live  and 
die  an  old  maid." 

"Live  ar)d  die  an  old  maid !  Why,  Kate,  you  are  a  mere 
girl  yet.  Old  maid !  You  won't  be  one  for  twenty  years 
to  come.  Pooh,  child;  don't  think  of  marrying  until  you 
are  thirty,  at  least.  But  why  the  deuce  should  you  wish 
to  marry  at  all?" 

"  I — I  don't  particularly  desire  it.  But  if  one  should  be 
dying  for  me" 

"Let  him  die  and  be  d dl"  roared  the  old  General, 

furiously.  "  Dying  for  you !  What  business'  has  any 
impertinent  puppy  to  be  dying  for  you  ?  I  didn't  die  for 
anybody,  did  I?" 

"But  have  you  been  happy  all  your  life?  Didn't  you 
fight  Colonel because  he" 

"  Yes  !      But  he  destroyed  the  peace  and  life  of 

No  matter,  Kate.  You  have  no  business  to  be  raking  up 
old  matters.  I  shot  the  rascal,  and  that  was  enough. 
Just  think  how  plain  Mrs.  Handy,  a  common  housewife 
name,  would  sound  beside  Miss  Kate  Frost.  How  do  you 
like  the  contrast?" 

"  Oh,  you  kjiow,  a  rose  by  any  other  name  would  smell 
as  sweet," 


OF    A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  223 

"  That's  poetry,  which  is  nonsense.     All  poets  are  mad. 
Dying  for  love  !" 

But  suppose  Istould  happen  to  be  dying  for  a — a"- 


"  A  fool !     Why,  then,  the  sooner  you  died  the  better." 

"  Suppose  he  was  no  fool ;  say  he  was  young,  handsome, 
brave,  and  chivalrous  ?" 

"  Then  it  couldn't  be  this  counter-hopper  Handy. 
Tradesmen  are  not  that  sort  of  people." 

"  In  Europe,  where  you  have  travelled  so  much,  they 
may  not  be.  But  remember  that  in  this  country  it  is  the 
man,  and  not  his  occupation,  which  is  considered.  Presi- 
dent Fillmore  was  a  clothier,  and  Franklin  a  soap-boiler 
and  printer.  Roger  Sherman  was  a  shoemaker,  and  the 
orovernor  of  Tennessee  is  a  tailor." 

"  They  were  exceptions  to  the  rule.  I  maintain  the 
rule  itself  exists,  and  will  exist  in  this  country  as  well  as 
in  others,  unless  human  nature  itself  be  changed.  De- 
mocracy is  the  devil  in  disguise,  and  would  turn  the  world 
upside  down  if  it  could.  But  its  antics  will  soon  betray 
it  in  all  its  deformity  to  the  people,  and  then  it  will  be 
demolished,  as  it  was  in  France,  or  be  compelled  to  run 
into  the  ocean  and  be  drowned  like  the  swine.  It  must  go 
the  whole  hog.  Here !  I've  just  been  reading  a  speci- 
men of  democracy  in  the  Herald.  Look  at  it,  when  you 
have  leisure.  The  President  or  his  villanous  subordinates 
have  just  removed  one  of  the  C.'s  from  office,  alleging 
as  a  cause  the  incumbent's  ill-health.  His  disease  was 
contracted  from  exposure  in  the  service.  His  ancestors 
were  distinguished  centuries  ago  for  meritorious  conduct, 
and  one  of  the  family  supplied  General  Washington  with 
the  greater  portion  of  his  wealth.  They  served  their 
country  before  the  Revolution  and  since,  and  yet  the 
democracy  would  destroy  them.  On  the  same  day  this 
0.  was  removed — who  has  a  large  family  unprovided  for 
— was  appointed" 

"Who?" 

"  Oh,  you  can't  guess !     You  need  not  try.     Til  tell 


224  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

you.    A S 5  whose  father  was  hung  the  other  day. 

And   the   son    confessed   he   had   been   a  himself! 

That's  your  democracy?" 

<'  But,  my  dear  sir,  the  subject  was  not  politics.  It 
was  matrimony." 

"  Matrimony  !  You  pronounce  it  as  familiarly  as  if  you 
knew  something  of  its  nature." 

"  What  do  you  know  against  it,  sir  ?  You  were  never 
married." 

"  No,  thank  heaven !  And  certainly  never  will  be, 
unless  I  do  it  merely  to  bestow  my  fortune  on  some  one  to 
punish  you.  And  then  it  shall  be  under  a  stipulation  that 
my  wife  shall  never  come  within  my  sight !" 

<^  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  Oh,  General,  you  are  a  woman-hater 
because  jou  never  had  one  to  comfort  you.  Excuse  me ; 
some  one  is  coming." 

When  Kate  retired,  Mr.  Brook  entered,  and  related  what 
had  transpired  between  Nap  and  young  Smart.  He  had 
also  learned  ll^at  Jack  had  dictated  the  challenge,  de- 
livered it,  and  then  wrote  the  retraction  and  apology. 
The  General  listened  with  interest,  and  manifested  symp- 
toms of  approbation.  As  Brook  was  an  humble  admirer  of 
his,  and  a  great  newsmonger,  he  had  easy  access  to  the 
old  soldier,  and  he  was  now  doing  Jack  a  service,  without 
intending  it,  and  without  being  aware  of  it.  For  if  he 
had  thought  that  his  narration  was  calculated  to  affect  the 
young  man's  prospects,  he  would  not  have  dared  to  utter 
a  word  in  his  behalf  in  the  presence  of  his  patron,  whose 
opinions  and  caprices  he  never  ventured  to  oppose. 

Mr.  Brook  soon  withdrew  to  tell  the  news  to  others. 
Although  duelling  was  in  direct  violation  of  one  of  the 
statutes  of  the  State,  as  it  is  in  all  the  States,  yet  the 
enactment  was  necessarily  suifered  to  remain  a  dead  letter, 
since  a  majority  of  the  community  opposed  the  application 
of  its  penalties.  And  in  this  instance  the  rumour  of  a 
challenge  only  produced  an  agreeable  excitement  in  the 
village.     As  long  as  the  lawmakers  are  in  the  habit  of 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  225 

going  to  war,  and  arraying  nation  against  nation  for  the 
purpose  of  wholesale  slaughter,  growing  out  of  some  trivial 
dispute  or  point  of  etiquette — so  long  as  the  most  skilful 
slayer  of  human  beings  and  destroyer  of  the  wealth  of 
nations  is  applauded  the  most,  and  has  the  highest  honours 
showered  upon  him,  it  is  hardly  to  be  supposed  that  indi- 
viduals can  be  kept  from  hostile  collision,  where  calumny 
has  stained  the  innocent,  or  an  unprovoked  insult  is  offered 
the  unoifending. 

Such  at  least  was  the  opinion  of  the  brave  old  General. 
And  whenever  his  eyes  rested  upon  an  eloquent  denuncia- 
tion of  the  duello  in  any  of  the  gazettes,  he  was  in  the 
habit  of  exclaiming.  This  rascal  would  wish  to  have  the 
power  of  inflicting  irreparable  injury  without  incurring  the 
liability  of  being  made  to  suffer  for  it.  A  dastardly 
coward  !  No  doubt  he  has  perpetrated  more  injuries  than 
the  mere  breaking  of  an  antagonist's  arm,  in  a  fair  and 
honourable  manner,  with  one's  own  person  exposed  to  the 
aim  of  his  adversary. 

"  That  fellow  must  have  a  spirit  of  no  low  degree," 
soliloquized  the  General,  a  habit  he  was  addicted  to  when 
pleased  with  any  subject.  "  It  was  admirably  conceived, 
and  executed  with  gallant  intrepidity.  Some  of  the  boy's 
ancestors  must  have  had  good  blood  in  them,  and  it  shows 
its  quality  in  such  acts  as  this.  Blood  is  like  the  mountain 
torrent ;  sometimes  it  is  hidden  in  its  descent  and  sup- 
posed to  be  lost,  and  then,  unexpectedly,  bursts  forth  again 
and  dazzles  the  eye  of  the  beholder." 

"  What  is  that  bright  object,  sir,  which  your  thoughts 
seem  to  be  dwelling  upon  ?"  asked  Kate,  w^ho  came  in 
noiselessly  and  resumed  her  chair. 

"Eh!  Is  that  you,  Kate?"  asked  the  General,  aroused 
'rom  his  abstraction  and  lifting  his  eyes  to  hers.  "  Did  you 
hear  me  ?" 

"  I  could  not  avoid  hearing  you,  sir.  But  you  mentioned 
io  name.     You  merely  said  « that  fellow.'     Who  it  wa^ 


226  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

you  alluded  to  in  terms  of  such  high  commendatioii,  I  am 
unable  to  conjecture." 

"  Oh,  it  was  a  young  fellow  of  spirit ;  one  who  has  per- 
formed an  action  worthy  of  the  past  generation.  A  right 
noble  fellow." 

"  Then,  perhaps,  sir,  he  might  please  your  ward  also ; 
and  of  course  you  could  have  no  objection  to  him.  May 
I  know  him,  sir  ?  I  will  promise  to  admire  him  for  your 
sake." 

"  The  deuce  you  will !  Oh,  no  doubt  of  it.  No  doubt, 
no  doubt.  But  I  won't  tell  his  name,  for  fear  you  will 
want  to  marry  him." 

«« You  know  I  am  to  marry  no  one  without  your  con- 
sent"  

«  For  a  whole  year.  But  I  shall  want  you  longer.  And 
yet  if  I  don't  tell  you  who  this  rascal  is,  your  woman's 
wit  will  find  it  out." 

"  I'll  guess,  sir." 

"Who  do  you  suppose  it  was?' 

"  I  don't  know.  You  say  you  won't  tell.  Is  that 
candid?" 

"  I  will  tell.  I  will  be  as  candid  as  you  are.  It 
was" 

"Who?" 

"  This  Jack  Handy." 

"I  thought  so!"  said  Kate,  blushing  deeply.  "But 
what  has  he  done?" 

The  General  told  her.  Then  she  owned  that  his  con- 
duct did  not  please  her  so  much  at  it  did  her  guardian. 
She  thought  it  was  not  well  to  be  engaged  in  such  affiiirs, 
either  as  principal  or  second.  And  the  General  said  he 
had  no  doubt  that  by  the  time  the  rascal  had  won  his 
consent,  his  wayward  ward  would  be  ready  to  reject  him. 
She  retorted  by  reminding  him  that  it  was  no  part  of  his 
authority  to  cause  her  to  wed  any  one  of  his  selection. 
Th^n  the  General,  in  a  pretended  rage,  ordered  his  horse 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  227 

and  rode  into  the  country,  as  was  his  custom  in  fine 
weather. 

About  the  same  hour  that  the  tall  old  General  bestrode 
his  noble  steed,  Nap  Sallied  out  from  his  mother's  cottage, 
and  moved  toward  the  inn  with  the  deliberate  walk  and 
contemplative  air  of  Colonel  Benton  himself.  He  occupied 
a  seat  on  the  porch,  rising  every  moment  to  shake  hands 
with  the  passing  people.  Those  who  went  by  on  the 
opposite  side  of  the  street  he  bowed  to.  And  as  all  had 
by  this  time  heard  of  his  acquisitions  in  the  West,  and  of 
his  challenge  that  morning,  much  curiosity  was  manifested 
to  see  him,  and  to  converse  with  him.  As  numbers  saluted 
him,  and  accosted  him  with  marked  respect,  it  was  natural 
for  his  susceptible  mind  to  conceive  the  idea  that  he  was 
the  lion  of  the  place  ;  and  so  he  strove  to  play  the  lion's 
part.  His  gestures  and  tones  were  in  exact  imitation 
alternately  of  those  of  the  great  men  whom  he  had  marked 
on  similar  occasions.  It  was  a  happy  hour  for  Nap  ;  and 
as  appearances  always  have  their  effect  upon  the  imagi- 
nations of  the  weak  and  unreflecting,  he  really  succeeded 
in  convincing  numbers  that  he  was  possessed  of  genius 
and  had  not  hitherto  been  appreciated.  But  there  were 
others  who  watched  him  at  a  distance,  and  made  him  the 
target  for  their  shafts  of  ridicule.  His  dress  and  actions 
were  almost  .ridiculous.  But  these  envious  wits  had  seized 
upon  a  portion  of  Mr.  Brook's  literal  narration  of  the  oc- 
currence the  night  before,  and  made  themselves  merry  at 
our  hero's  expense.  They  dubbed  him  "  Dodge  of  Venus," 
and  the  appellation  adhered  to  him. 

The  tide  of  public  opinion,  however,  ran  too  strongly  in 
favour  of  Nap  to  be  arrested  or  diverted  from  its  course  by 
the  jeering  and  depreciating  <^  outsiders,"  who  might  be 
envious  of  his  good  fortune.  When  the  people  ceased  to 
come  forward  and  shake  his  hand,  he  sat  down  and  con- 
versed freely  with  those  who  formed  a  circle  round  him. 
The  tales  of  far-western  habits  and  scenes  never  wearied 
them ;  and  Nap,  like  his  great  prototype,  interlarded  his 


228  '  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

narrations  with  many  prof/mnd,  and  sometimes  rather 
startling  reflections,  which  were  swallowed  by  the  gaping 
multitude.  And  when  the  conversation  flagged,  or  when 
the  industrious  listeners  departed  to  their  shops,  Nap's 
happiness  did  not  cease.  He  scanned  his  new  habiliments 
with  amiable  satisfaction.  His  chain,  his  glittering  rings, 
and  even  his  polished  boots,  so  difl'erent  from  the  old  ones, 
gladdened  his  eyes,  and  elicited  his  unfeigned  admiration. 
His  feet,  however,  were  twelve  inches  long,  and  propor- 
tionally broad,  without  the  usual  curvatures;  and  his 
hands,  like  Sir  Walter  Scott's,  (only  Sir  Walter  never  ad- 
mired his,)  were  of  huge  dimensions,  red,  and  with  an  un- 
smooth  exterior.  It  was  not,  however,  the  uncouth  pro- 
portions of  his  members  that  arrested  his  gaze :  it  was  the 
glittering  sparkle  of  the  rings,  and  the  glossy  surface  of 
the  varnish.  The  enormous  size  of  his  hands  and  feet 
was  not  at  all  strange  or  annoying  to  him — he  had  long 
been  in  the  habit  of  seeing  them  without  emotion,  and  see- 
ing them,  too,  among  others  quite  as  huge  and  unsightly. 
Nap  sometimes  thought  if  Molly  had  married  somebody 
else  during  his  absence,  or  had  openly  contemned  him  in 
his  recent  humble  attire,  that  his  triumph  might  have  been 
still  more  complete.  He  knew  that  his  pride,  high  as  it 
then  was,  would  have  been  more  blissfully  exalted,  and  he 
would  have  inflicted  a  most  consummate  retaliation  on  the 
venality  of  her  gossiping  father.  But  when  he  considered 
the  handsome  manner  in  which  she  had  eulogized  the 
properties  of  true  and  faithful  hearts,  in  contrast  with 
riches  and  the  shallow  adornments  of  the  person,  he  thought 
he  could  not  have  the  resolution  to  perpetrate  any  species  of 
hauteur  toward  the  father,  which  might  also  inflict  a  wound 
upon  the  (laughter.  Nevertheless,  without  being  conscious 
of  it  himself,  Molly  had  a  rival  now,  ever-present — his 
new-born  vanity.  It  must  be  owned  that,  without  consti- 
tutional meanness,  or  premeditated  infidelity,  our  hero  be- 
gan to  admire  himself  almost,  if  not  quite  as  much,  as  his 
early  love.     Supereminently  impressible  himself,  and,  like 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  229 

the  chameleon,  taking  the  hue  of  the  objects  that  interested 
him,  he  presumed  that  he  was  now  creating  an  immense 

sensation  in  the  community  of  C ;  while  he  failed  to 

consider  the  utter  insignificance  and  worthlessness  of  any 
Buch  effect  produced  by  such  a  cause. 

Yet,  evincing  his  delight  by  a  condescending  smile,  he 
towered  in  his  own  estimation  far  above  his  unambitious 
friend  and  fellow-traveller.  And  when  the  day  arrived 
for  their  departure,  and  the  ceremony  of  leave-taking  was 

over,  the  best  hack  that  Mr.  R ,  the  landlord  of  the 

inn,  could  procure,  drove  up  to  Mrs.  Wax's  cottage  gate. 
Jack  was  decidedly  in  favour  of  returning  on  foot  to  the 
point  where  they  were  to  take  the  stage.  But  Nap  would 
not  listen  to  it.  His  days  of  humiliation  were  over. 
Henceforth  he  was  to  be  a  star  of  the  first  magnitude. 
His  fond  mother,  in  the  blindness  of  her  affection,  ap- 
proved of  all  he  did,  and  rejoiced  in  the  rising  importance 
of  her  son.  And  so  did  Mr.  Brook,  exulting  in  the  mag- 
nificence of  his  future  son-in-law.  Molly  regarded  his 
display  differently.  She  saw  that  the  flashing  brilliance 
with  which  he  was  surrounding  himself  might  blind  his 
vision  to  her  more  substantial  charms.  Handy  was  silent 
and  grave.  He  had  just  terminated  a  tender  but  clandes- 
tine interview  with  Kate,  whose  guardian  was  absent  on 
his  daily  ride  into  the  country. 

As  they  drove  up  the  hill,  slowly  departing  from  the 
village.  Nap  folded  his  arms  on  his  breast  and  surveyed 
the  handsome  cushions  of  the  carriage.  It  was  the  first 
time  he  had  ever  enjoyed  the  luxury  of  riding  in  a  hack. 
This  coalesced  gratefully  with  the  grandeur  of  his  ideas. 
In  silent  meditation,  for  Jack  too  had  a  subject  amply 
sufficient  to  occupy  his  thoughts,  they  proceeded  several 
miles,  when,  a  wheel  striking  against  a  rock,  the  hindmost 
axletree  was  broken  in  twain. 

"The  boat  is  sunk.  Nap,"  said  Jack,  as  they  sank  down 
between  the  wheels  ;  <«  but  luckily  there  is  no  danger  of 
drowning  this  time." 

20 


230  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"Hello!  Stop,  driver !"  cried  Nap,  roused  from  hia 
prolonged  reverie,  and  once  more  under  the  influence  of 
his  old  apprehensions  of  injury  to  his  corpulent  person. 
«  Let  me  get  out !"  he  continued.  And  when  he  did  get 
out,  the  driver  assured  him  that  the  horses  had  not  moved 
a  step  after  the  carriage  broke  down.  He  said  that  they 
were  not  of  the  running-off  breed,  and  were  always  ready 
to  stop  when  any  thing  was  the  matter. 

Fortunately,  the  accident  occurred  within  hearing  of  the 
ring  of  a  smith's  anvil,  and  the  accommodating  Yulcan 
was  in  readiness  to  put  aside  all  other  work  and  repair  the 
injury. 

While  the  axletree  was  being  welded,  the  young  men 
strolled  into  the  silent  wood,  where  they  had  often  rambled 
in  early  boyhood. 

There,  for  the  first  time,  at  parting,  Nap  yielded  to  the 
influence  of  a  crowd  of  solemn  memories  that  rushed  upon 
nis  mind.  The  present  faded  away,  and  he  was  in  the 
past.  Silently  he  and  Jack  stood  arm  in  arm,  and  gazed 
at  the  enchanting  scene.  It  had  been  the  play-ground  of 
them  both,  where  Kate  and  Molly  had  often  enlivened  the 
hour  and  partaken  of  their  sports.  If  the  boys  had 
changed,  and  the  girls  had  become  stately  women,  there 
had  been  no  alteration  of  the  scene  where  they  had  played. 
The  hawthorn,  the  beech,  and  the  maple  were  still  there 
on  the  margin  of  the  peaceful  stream.  The  grape-vine, 
suspended  from  the  tallest  tree,  yet  hung  in  its  old  place. 
The  rays  of  golden  sunlight,  struggling  through  the 
young  leaves  above,  illuminated  the  profound  solitude  of 
the  place  precisely  as  they  had  done  in  former  days,  when 
they  exhilarated  the  hearts  of  the  guileless  children.  The 
half-decayed  trunk  of  a  fallen  oak,  the  moss-grown  rock 
projecting  from  the  earth,  an(J  the  old  marks  carved  upon 
the  rind  of  the  beech,  remained  precisely  as  they  had  left 
them.  And  if  none  of  these  mementos  had  changed,  how  was 
it  possible  for  the  young  men  to  avoid  becoming  boys  again 
in  fancy  ?     Years  enough  had  not  rolled  over  their  heads  to 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  231 

produce  forgetfulness ;  a  sufficient  number  of  the  harsh 
vicissitudes  of  the  world  had  not  yet  cicatrized  them  into 
callousness  ;  and  hence  the  healing  fountains  were  stirred 
within  them,  and  grateful  tears  gushed  forth  and  trickled 
down  their  cheeks. 

"Nap,"  said  Jack,  "our  happiest  days  were  passed 
within  this  lofty  arbour.  Such  blissful  moments  will  never 
return.  We  can  only  remember  them,  and  grieve  that  we 
were  forced  to  relinquish  them.  Happy  must  be  the  lot  of 
those  who  are  not  compelled  by  fortune  to  abandon  the 
cherished  scenes  and  innocent  companions  of  their  child* 
hood." 

"  Jack,"  said  Nap,  applying  his  handkerchief  to  his 
eyes,  "  I  have  a  mind  not  to  abandon  them.  I've  never 
been  so  happy  since  I  left  home  as  I  was  before." 

Awakened  to  a  consciousness  of  duty,  the  duty  of  the 
man,  in  contradistinction  to  the  impulses  of  the  child, 
which  now  wholly  possessed  his  companion,  Jack  yield- 
ed, in  the  reaction  of  his  spirits,  to  a  hilarious  fit  of 
laughter. 

"  Why,  Nap,"  said  he,  "  we  could  never  appreciate  the 
enchantments  of  such  scenes  as  these,  if  they  were  not 
revisited  after  long  separations.  We  enjoy  them  because 
we  have  been  absent  from  them.  If  we  had  remained 
here,  we  should  have  grown  weary  of  them." 

"  I  don't  think  so.  I  don't  feel  so.  And  I  am  almost 
determined  to  turn  back  and  remain  with  my  mother  and 
Molly  the  rest  of  my  days.  I  wonder  what  a  few  acres 
of  land  here,  including  this  spot,  would  cost?" 

"  This  is  in  the  centre  of  a  large  farm,  every  acre  of 
which  is  worth  a  hundred  dollars.  It  would  require  all 
your  money,  and  would  then  be  unproductive.  Nonsense, 
Nap.  Make  a  large  fortune,  and  then  come  back  and 
buy  the  whole  county  !" 

"  I  will !  I  can  do  it !  I  have  already  made  more 
money  than  any  one  supposed  I  could  in  a  lifetime.  Who 
of),u  tell  how  far  the  tide  will  lead  me  ?     I  will  follow  it  on 


232  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

to  fortune."  Nap  had  read  Shakspeare  in  Missouri  during 
the  long  rainy  days  and  dreary  nights. 

"  That's  right,  Nap.  It  is  as  the  great  poet  says.  Put 
your  trust  in  him,  and  never  mind  what  malicious  tongues 
in  C choose  to  say  of  you." 

"  Jack,  what  have  you  heard  them  say  ?  I  thought  they 
were  all  praising  me." 

«' Then  you  were  mistaken.  No  one  who  meets  with 
success  is  praised  by  envious  rivals.  They  attribute  your 
good  fortune  to  the  old  hackneyed  adage,  <-  A  fool  for  luck.* 
But  you  must  bear  in  mind  that  any  one  is  a  fool  who 
would  not  be  lucky." 

"  They  are  a  pack  of  idle  fools.  Jack,  and  I  am  glad  to 
leave  them  !  Let  us  go  to  the  shop  and  hurry  up  the 
blacksmith." 

They  did  so ;  but  yet  it  was  far  in  the  afternoon  before 
the  injury  was  repaired. 

Night  overtook  our  travellers  before  they  reached  the 
point  where  they  expected  to  find  the  mail-coach  in  readi- 
ness to  convey  them  to  the  Ohio  river.  And  as  there  was 
an  inn  on  the  roadside,  from  whence  arose  the  savoury 
fumes  of  fried  ham  and  eggs,  the  driver  declared  they 
would  have  to  sojourn  there  until  morning.  He  said  his 
master  never  permitted  the  horses  and  carriage  to  travel 
in  the  night,  unless  there  was  a  special  bargain  made  to 
that  effect.  Of  course  there  had  been  no  special  agree- 
ment of  that  kind  on  the  present  occasion,  and  therefore 
he  paused  at  the  porch  of  the  inn. 

Our  young  men  yielded  the  more  readily  to  this,  inas- 
much as  they  were  both  well  acquainted  with  the  landlord, 
a  jolly  old  publican  by  the  name  of  Bullock.  They  had 
known  him  before  their  emigration  to  Missouri,  and  they 
had  refreshed  themselves  at  his  house  a  few  days  before, 
when  going  to  C on  foot. 

"Ccnsarn  it.  Nap,"  said  Bullock,  "I  didn't  know  you 
in  all  them  gewgaws.  The  other  day  I  told  the  old  ooman 
I  didn't  think  you'd  made  out  very  well  in  Missouri ;  and 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  233 

she  said  she  always  thought  you'd  come  back  worse  off 
than  you  went." 

"You  should  not  always  judge  from  appearances,  Mr. 
Bullock,"  said  Nap,  smiling  condescendingly. 

"That  mought  do  for  other  folks.  No  doubt,  other 
people  oughtn't.  But  we  innkeepers  always  look  at  the 
clothes  and  other  fixins  about  a  stranger  before  we  kill 
the  chickens.     Money  is  scarce,  and  bacon's  high." 

"In  our  case  you  need  have  no  apprehensions,"  said 
Jack,  who  felt  the  pangs  of  a  keen  appetite. 

"  Oh,  I'm  always  bound  to  take  in  old  acquaintances.  I 
meant  strangers.  And  many  times,  strangers,  when  they 
come  to  pay  the  bill,  find  they've  lost  their  money." 

"But  we  haven't  lost  ours,  Mr.  Bullock,"  said  Nap, 
jingling  some  gold  coins  in  his  hand. 

"  I  know  that.  But  if  you  had,  as  I  said  before,  any 
thing  in  my  house  would  be  at  your  sarvice.  But  I've  had 
great  losses  lately." 

"What  losses?" 

"  They  steal  my  chickens  and  turkeys  out  of  the  apple- 
trees.  The  old  ooman  conceits  that  it's  our  own  niggers 
does  it,  and  to-night  I'm  going  to  make  'em  wrap  up  in 
their  buifalo-robes  and  watch  in  the  orchard.  If  another 
turkey  or  chicken  is  missing,  they  are  to  be  cowhided,  by 
their  own  consent ;  and  if  they  catch  anybody  there, 
they  are  to  cowhide  him.  That's  the  bargain.  They  think 
the  rogues  are  white  folks." 

"But  suppose  an  owl  or  an  opossum  should  catch  a  fowl 
to-night?" 

"  Oh,  they  must  keep  their  eyes  skinned.  But  as  a 
nigger  can't  keep  awake,  I  think  they'll  catch  the  hide  in 
the  morning.  Though  I  wouldn't  advise  any  of  you  to  go 
into  the  orchard,  if  you  have  any  occasion  to  travel  to- 
night, w^ithout  letting  me  know  it,  and  having  me  along 
with  you." 

Nap  and  Jack  promised  not  to  go  in  that  direction  ii 
they  should  walk  out. 

20* 


234  LIFE   ANL»   ADVENTURES 

They  had  an  excellent  supper,  and  some  fine  cider,  and 
afterward  retired  well  satisfied  to  bed — Nap  sitting  up 
until  Jack  fell  asleep. 

About  midnight  the  young  men  were  awakened  by  the 
aistressful  cries  of  some  one  in  the  orchard.  The  orchard 
was  near  the  house,  and  the  tree  under  which  the  scene  of 
violence  occurred  was  near  the  window  of  the  room  occu- 
pied by  the  travellers. 

"Stop!  stop,  I  say!"  cried  one,  under  the  lash,  the 
blows  being  distinctly  heard  by  our  young  merchants. 

«'Gin  it  to  him,  Pompey !  Giv  him  Jesse  !"  said  one  of 
the  negroes.  This  was  heartily  responded  to  by  the  shrill 
whistle  of  the  cowhide  as  it  descended  upon  the  back  of 
their  captive. 

"Now  you  gin  him  some.  Sambo  !"  said  the  other. 

"Oh,  you  infarnal  rascals!  Don't  you  know  me? 
Stop,  I  say!"  This  was  answered  by  blows  more  violent 
than  ever.  "Murder!"  cried  the  sufi"erer.  "You'll  kill 
me.     Don't  you  know  me  .^     I'm" 

"  Stop  his  mouth,  Pompey,"  cried  Sambo,  "  or  he'll  tell 
a  lie  to  git  ofi"." 

Pompey  lashed  him  again. 

"  Oh  !  You'll  skin  me  alive  !  Stop,  I  say !  I'm  your 
master  !     I'm  John  Bullock,  your  owner  !" 

"Now  dat's  a  lie  !"  said  Sambo.  " Massa  John  told  us 
to  cowhide  anybody  we  catched  out  here." 

"I'm  your  master,  I  say!" 

"Dat's  a  lie,  I  say,"  continued  Sambo.  "Massa 
John  Bullock's  a  gen'leman.  He's  not  prowling  'bout  dis 
time  o'  night  arter  his  own  chickens ;  and  he  gin  us  liberty 
to  cowhide  any  white  man  we  catched  in  dis  orchard.  Lay 
on  some  more,  Pompey.  Hah !  hah !  He  tell  us  he's 
Massa  Bullock !  when  Massa  John's  been  in  bed  and 
'sleep  dese  four  hours." 

"Stop,  I  say!"  cried  the  desperate  victim.  "If  you 
hit  me  again,  I'll  sell  you  both !" 

"  Sell  us  ?     Lor'  a'mighty  !     Dat  is  like  Massa  John's 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MEPtCHANT.  235 

voice!"  cried  Sarnb^.  "Bless  us!  Is  you  Massa  John, 
sure  nuff?" 

"Yes  I  am,  you  infarnal  scoundrels  !  I  came  out  here 
to  see  if  you  were  watching  well,  and  you've  cowhided  me 
half  to  death." 

"  Lor'  a'mighty,  Massa  John,  why  didn't  you  tell  us  you 
was  comin'  ?  Den  we'd  a-knowed  it  was  you.  We  beg 
your  pardon,  Massa  !  You  tole  us  to  whip  any  white  man 
we  cotched  in  do  orchard." 

"  I  did,  boys ;  that's  a  fact.  And  if  you  didn't  know 
me,  I  won't  punish  you  for  what  you've  done.  But  you 
ought  to  have  known  me." 

"  De  moon  ain't  shining,  Massa  John.  It's  so  dark  we 
can't  know  nobody.  "VVe  won't  tell  de  neighbours  what's  hap- 
pened, Massa  John.  Missus  can  cure  you ;  she's  got  some 
salve  made  of  elderberries,  and  we  knows  it's  good." 

When  Bullock  re-entered  the  house.  Nap  and  Jack  could 
hear  the  low  laughter  of  the  negroes,  and  easily  under- 
stood from  their  remarks  that  they  knew  well  enough  who 
it  was  they  were  cowhiding.  But  the  affair  was  kept 
secret.  Bullock  was  afraid  to  sell  the  negroes,  knowing 
that  if  he  did  so  they  would  make  known  the  cause  of  it, 
and  then  his  neighbours  would  laugh  at  him  all  his  life. 
And  the  negroes  were  afraid  to  divulge  the  secret  while 
they  belonged  to  him,  aware  that  if  they  did  so,  he  would 
certainly  sell  them  to  be  revenged.  But  Nap  and  Jack, 
auditors  and  witnesses  of  the  transaction,  were  not  com- 
pelled to  suppress  it.  And  from  them  the  anecdote  has 
been  derived. 


236  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 


CHAPTER  XX. 

Nap  meets  with  Miss  D ,  and  is  fascinated — Discussion  on  fame — 

Parson  H shocked — Mr.  F argues  "with  the  parson  on  wine — 

A  brief  dispute  between  two  reverend  gentlemen — Nap  converses  with 

Miss  D :    Rich  shopkeepers  and  authors — Nap  has  a  notion  of 

becoming  an  actor. 

In  due  time  our  young  gentlemen  arrived  at  the  Ohio 
river,  and  embarked  on  the  steamboat  Editor,  for  Pitts- 
burgh. 

When  they  sat  down  to  dinner,  Nap's  eyes  rested  upon 
a  lady  opposite  at  the  table,  of  surpassing  personal  charms, 
and  of  such  intellectual  endowments  that,  although  he  had 
so  recently  parted  with  Molly,  they  did  not  fail  to  make 
a  very  great  impression  on  his  susceptible  heart.  So  sud- 
den and  complete  was  his  fascination,  that  the  dinner 
remained  almost  untasted,  notwithstanding  he  had  owned 
to  a  voracious  appetite  but  a  few  minutes  before.     The 

lady  was  Miss  D ,  whom  Nap  had  once  seen  decked  in 

the  habiliments  of  the  princely  house  of  Capulet,  and 
whose  personation  of  the  character  of  the  lovely  Juliet 
had  ever  after  dwelt  in  his  memory  as  the  vision  of  a 
reality,  rather  than  a  mere  counterfeit  presentment.  He 
now  feasted  his  eyes,  while  neglecting  his  plate.  He 
luxuriated  upon  her  musical  words,  and  every  tone  thrilled 
through  his  heart.  Her  very  ideas  were  contagious  ;  and 
he  would  have  defended  with  his  life — if  he  had  been  at 
all  capable  of  voluntarily  putting  it  in  peril — any  position 
she  assumed,  or  argument  she  advanced.  She  was  con- 
versing with  Mr.  F ,  an  actor  of  unrivalled  popularity. 

The  subject  was  one  which  has  engaged  the  attention  of 
critics,  moralists,  and  political  economists  for  centuries, 
and  has  never  yet  been  solved  to  the  satisfaction  of  those 
interested  in  it,  viz.  the  reason  why  one  is  not  immedi- 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  23T 

ately  appreciated  in  one's  own  country,  and  why  so  many 
obstacles  are  to  be  encountered  by  the  author,  the  actor, 
the  orator,  the  editor,  the  artist,  &c. 

The  lady  seemed  disposed  to  attribute  the  reluctance 
of  one's  countrymen  to  acknowledge  the  claims  of  native 
genius,  to  an  original  trait  of  our  nature,  to  which  refer- 
ence had  been  made  by  the  Saviour  himself,  when  he  said 
that  a  prophet  was  not  without  honour  except  in  his  own 
country. 

This  was  followed  by  a  startling  crash,  occasioned  by  a 
gentleman  at  Nap's  elbow,  who  had  petulantly  dashed  down 
his  knife  and  fork  into  his  plate,  and  then  leaning  back  in 
his  chair,  seemed  to  be  half  convulsed  with  rage. 

"My  friends!"  cried  he,  "are  you  not  aware  of  the 
blasphemy  of  using  the  name  of  our  Saviour  in  such  a 
discussion  as  this  ?  Do  not  be  guilty  of  such  profanity,  I 
beseech  you,  as  to  use  his  sacred  name,  and  the  authority 
of  his  words,  in  a  conversation  on  the  merits  of  actors, 
artists,  &c." 

This  of  course  produced  a  sensation,  and  Nap,  like  the 
rest,  scanned  the  face  of  the  speaker,  who  happened  to  be 
no  other  than  Parson  — — ,  from  Missouri,  and  who  had 
been  so  unjustly  suspected  of  snoring  by  the  steward  on 
the  Martha  Jewett. 

"  Sir,"  said  Mr.  F.,  with  one  of  his  majestic  motions  of 
the  hand,  "  Christ  denounced  all  the  evils  of  the  earth, 
and  enumerated  the  perpetrators  of  them.  The  hypocrite, 
the  adulterer,  the  murderer,  the  thief,  and  even  the  lawyer ; 
but  not  the  actor." 

"I  did  not  know  there  were  any  theatres  in  his  time," 
said  the  parson. 

"  But  there  were  very  many ;  there  were  not  less  than 
a  dozen  in  Asia  Minor,  when  the  Saviour  himself  rebuked 
the  usurers  and  the  hypocritical  Pharisees.  There  was 
one  in  Jerusalem,  where  he  taught  daily  in  the  temple. 
They  were  scattered  over  Greece  and  in  Kome,  hundreds  of 


238l  life  and  adventures 

years  before  the  Christian  era,  and  not  once  do  we  find 
them  denounced  by  the  Divine  teacher." 

Parson spasmodically  drew  a  Testament  from  his 

pocket,  with  a  determination  to  find  some  passage  which 
might  admit  of  an  interpretation  condemnatory  of  theatri- 
cal representations. 

Mr.  F.  then  proceeded  to  dilate  upon  the  nature  of  the 
obstacles  usually  to  be  encountered  by  the  young  aspirant 
for  histrionic  or  literary  fame.  He  attributed  them  to 
foreign  influence  and  European  enmity  to  our  republican 
institutions.  British  managers  had  possession  of  most  of 
our  theatres,  and  British  theatrical  critics  pronounced 
judgment  upon  the  merits  of  our  actors.  Mr.  F.  was  a 
thorough  Democrat,  and  desired  to  see  his  country  purged 
of  such  pernicious  influences. 

Miss  D.  then  spoke,  and  Nap  gazed  and  listened  as  if 
under  the  influence  of  some  potent  enchantment.  She 
complimented  Mr.  F.  upon  having  surmounted  all  the 
obstacles  he  had  described,  and  felicitated  herself  upon 
having  overcome  many  of  them,  and  on  being  inspired 
with  an  indomitable  resolution  bravely  to  encounter  any 
others  that  might  be  interposed.  She  then  took  up  the 
cudgels  in  behalf  of  native  authors  and  artists.  "With 
ample  preparation,  and  unwearying  perseverance,  they 
might  succeed  here  as  well  as  in  other  countries.  The 
weak  in  all  nations  complained  of  unjust  treatment,  while 
the  strong  everywhere  succeeded,  if  endowed  with  genius, 
energy,  and  patience.  But  displays  of  greatness  could 
not  be  readily  appreciated  at  home,  among  one's  friends 
and  kindred,  until  fully  contrasted  with  specimens  from 
abroad.  The  child  that  attains  a  gigantic  stature,  does  it 
so  imperceptibly  that  his  parents  and  brothers  are  not 
amazed  at  his  proportions,  until  his  surpassing  height  is 
compared  with  the  altitude  of  others  of  similar  pre- 
tensions. 

Nap  swelled  with  importance.  He  was  not  exceedingly 
tall,  but  he  was  very  fat,  and  might  yet  some  day  shoot  up 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  28^. 

a  head  and  shoulders  above  his  contemporaries.  Handy 
observed  the  animation  of  his  companion  with  interest. 
He  saw  that  his  impressible  heart  was  yielding  to  a  new 
image,  and  he  was  rather  pleased  when  the  reverend  Mr. 

arose  from  the  table  with  a  Testament  in  his  hand, 

and  beckoned  them  both  away. 

Nap,  however,  if  he  had  not  spoken  much  wuth  his 
tongue,  had  been  so  eloquent  with  his  eyes,  as  to  attract 
the  attention  of  the  party  opposite.  And,  when  in  the 
act  of  rising,  he  was  thrown  into  an  ecstatic  convulsion  by 
the  polite  and  condescending  notice  of  Miss  D.  Before 
withdrawing  from  the  table,  she  indicated  by  a  nod  her 
pleasure  that  he  should  fill  his  glass  from  the  Hock  bottle 
standing  between  them,  and  drink  with  the  rest  to  the 
success  of  genius  throughout  the  world.  He  did  so ;  and 
if  his  tongue  was  mute,  his  eyes  said  plainly  that  he  con- 
ceived his  fair  monitress  to  be  the  most  adorable  of  that 
fortunate  class  then  living  in  the  universe. 
»  Soon  after  he  followed  Jack  and  the  preacher  to  the  for- 
ward part  of  the  cabin,  where  divers  parties  had  preceded 
them,  engaged  in  various  animated  discussions. 
'  ;..„  «<  My  young  friends,"  said  the  parson,  seriously,  "  are  you 
aware  that  the  persons  sitting  at  the  table  are  actors  .^" 

<'  One  is  an  actor,"  said  Jack. 
.    "And  the  other  an  actress,"  said  Nap,  <<and  a  glorious 
one." 

"A  what?     Is  it  possible  that  respectable  people  can 
be  found  to  sanction  their  profession  ?" 

a  Why  not?     Christ  did  not  condemn  it." 

<'  But  he  condemned  all  manner  of  lasciviousness.     Did 
I  not  see  you  drinking  wine  with  the  actress  ?" 

<<I  don't  know  whether  you  saw  me  or  not,"  said  Nap; 
"but  I  certainly  drank  with  her." 

"And  did  not    Christ  drink  wine   at  the  wedding?" 

asked  Jack,  who  knew  that  Parson was  a  most  zealous 

advocate  of  total  abstinence. 

j^.  "  It  is  not  said  that  he  drank  it."  ^ 


240  LIFE  AND   ADVENTURES 

«  But  it  is  said  he  made  it.  He  converted  the  water 
into  wine." 

"  It  was  a  miracle,  my  young  friends,  to  show  his  power 
and  his  divinity,  and  could  not  have  been  intended  to 
sanction  the  drinking  of  it." 

"I  think  differently,"  said  Mr.  F.,  who  followed  the 
company  to  the  social  hall,  and  felt  justified  in  partici- 
pating in  the  conversation,  inasmuch  as  the  reverend 
gentleman  had  himself  set  the  example  of  interposing 
during  the  discussion  at  the  table. 

.<«Upon  what  grounds,  sir  ?"  demanded  the  parson. 

"  Upon  the  ground  that  if  it  was  not  his  purpose  the 
wine  should  be  swallowed,  or  if  he  had  not  sanctioned  the 
drinking  of  it,  he  would  have  converted  wine  into  water, 
rather  than  water  into  wine." 

"  That's  a  mere  sophism.  No  one  will  deny  that  the 
use  of  intoxicating  liquors  is  productive  of  incalculable 
evil." 

i'No,"  said  Mr.  F.,  «'that  is  not  to  be  denied;  or  rather, 
the  abuse  of  them." 

"Then  if  the  vending  of  them  be  prohibited  by  law, 
they  will  cease  to  be  made,  and  people  will  cease  to  abuse 
them,  and  not  be  abused  by  them." 

"  I  doubt  it.  They  will  be  made  clandestinely,  and 
surreptitiously  used.  Public  sentiment  will  be  stronger 
than  law."     This  was  said  by  young  Handy,  and  Parson 

was  most   indignant    upon  hearing  him  so  express 

himself,  for  Jack  had  attended  some  of  his  lectures  in 
Missouri,  and  had  even  contributed  money  in  aid  of  the 
good  cause. 

"  Public  sentiment  will  make  the  law,  sir  !  Hence  your 
argument  is  absurd.  You,  yourself,  sir,  seemed  to  sanction 
the  movement  when  at  home !"  The  parson,  naturally 
nervous,  was  now  really  quivering  with  excitement. 

"I  sanction  such  lectures  as  tend  to  demonstrate  the 
immorality  and  misery  flowing  from  a  too  free  indulgence 
of  the  habj^  of  drinking  spirituous  liquors.     But  the  good 


OF  A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  241 

effect  I  look  for  is  the  conviction  of  the  minds  of  those 
addicted,  or  likely  to  become  excessively  addicted  to  tho 
practice.  With  them,  alone,  is  the  responsibility,  and  not 
with  the  manufacturer  or  the  vender  of  the  article." 

i' Monstrous  !"  cried  the  parson. 

<«  To  prohibit  the  manufacture,  or  the  vending  of  liquors, 
I  conceive  to  be  unconstitutional.  It  would  abridge  the 
rights  of  the  citizen.  And  in  regard  to  the  public  senti- 
ment which  shall  cause  such  a  law  to  be  enacted,  I  believe 
it  will  subside  like  other  temporary  excitements.  I  regard 
the  present  enthusiasm  on  the  subject  but  as  an  intemperate 
zeal,  a  species  of  intoxication,  quite  as  likely  to  run  into 
excesses,  if  continued  much  longer,  and  to  produce  as 
extravagant  evils,  as  the  one  it  professes  to  war  against. 
Fanatics  would  make  the  laws,  and  religion,  whose  mission 
it  is  to  conduct  us  to  heaven,  would  soon  be  engrossed  with 
the  politics  of  the  world,  and  employed  in  the  business  of 
overturning  governments,  and  perhaps  in  the  slaughter  of 
offenders  against  temporal  enactments,  as  well  as  against 
the  laws  of  God." 

"  Monstrous  !"  repeated  the  parson,  livid  with  ill-sup- 
pressed rage. 

«' Answer  me  this,"  said  Mr.  F.  "When  one  of  the 
followers  of  our  Saviour  drew  his  sword  and  cut  off  the  ear 
of  the  servant  of  the  high-priest,  was  the  act  sanctioned 
by  him  in  whose  behalf  it  was  done  ?" 

"  No,  sir,  no !  Jesus  healed  the  wound,  and  rebuked 
the  one  who  dealt  the  blow.  But  what  has  that  to  do  with 
the  proposed  'Prohibitory  Law?'  " 

"Something,  perhaps,"  said  Mr.  F.,  smiling.  "The 
act  was  not  approved,  then.  It  was  wrong.  The  sword 
had  perpetrated  a  wrong.  But  the  man  only  was  reproved. 
It  was  not  decreed  that  swords  should  not  be  made  or 
vended.  Millions  have  fallen  by  the  sword  in  battle,  and 
thousands  have  committed  suicide  with  it,  to  the  distress 
and  injury  of  their  families.  Why  not  prohibit  their 
use  or  even  their  abuse,  by  preventing  the  vending  of  them 

21 


242  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

in  time  of  peace.  Yonder  are  men  losing  money  at 
cards ;  why  not  prohibit  the  vending  of  cards  ?  Thousands 
of  evils  seen  around  us  every  day,  might  just  as  well  be 
assailed  in  the  same  manner.  But  then  another  Moses 
would  be  needed,  invested  with  the  awful  power  and  au- 
thority of  the  original,  and  all  human  governments  would 
have  to  be  abolished." 

"You  are  in  error !     You  are  in  error !"  said  the  parson. 

"  I  think  not,"  said  Jack.  "  Since  the  days  of  miracles 
and  prophets  are  over,  and  enlightened  man  is  a  free 
agent,  with  him  alone  rests  the  responsibility  of  doing 
wrong.  Convince  us  it  is  wrong  to  drink  ardent  spirits, 
or  to  do  any  other  evil  thing,  and  persuade  us  to  do  right. 
That  all  will  commend.  But  do  not  attempt  coercion,  or 
legal  restraint,  in  matters  with  which  we  are  only  indi- 
vidually concerned,  or  which  pertain  to  a  future  state  of 
existence." 

"  Yes,"  said  Nap,  whose  eyes  had  hitherto  been  directed 
toward  Miss  D.,  who  was  sitting  at  the  other  extremity  of 
the  saloon,  "  Bender  unto  God  the  things  which  be  God's, 
and  unto  Caesar  the  things  which  be  Caesar's." 

Mr. sprang  up  from  his  chair  abruptly,  and  joined 

a  white-neckerchiefed  gentleman  who  sat  silently  a  few 
paces  apart,  whom  he  supposed  to  be  a  clergyman,  and  one 
in  all  probability  who  would  be  likely  to  agree  with  him  on 
the  great  subject  of  temperance. 

But  in  a  few  minutes,  the  parson's  voice  was  again  heard 
hi  loud  contention. 

"Are  you  not  a  minister  of  God?"  he  asked. 

"  Yes;  I  am  a  bishop." 

"  And  you  will  not  forbid  the  use  of  wine  ?" 

"  I  dare  not." 

"Then  you  cannot  be  worthy  of  the  office." 

"  That  is  a  matter  of  opinion.  I  care  not  what  your 
opinion  may  be." 

"But  you  condemn  crime  and  immorality,  don't 
you?" 


OF  A  COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  243 

"  Oh  yes.  I  am  on  my  way  to  the  East  now,  to  prose- 
cute one  whom  I  have  charged  with  such  offences." 

<^  And  I  am  going  to  summon  a  synod  to  try  one  of  our 
ministers  for  using  in  his  church  the  tunes  of  negro  min- 
strels adapted  to  hymns." 

Literally  true,  every  word.  Both  were  armed  for  the 
contest ;  and  they  separated  mutually  resolved  to  punish 
and  degrade  their  reverend  opponents. 

Meantime,  Nap,  who  ceased  to  feel  any  interest  in  such 
bellicose  subjects,  embraced  the  first  opportunity  of  draw- 
ing as  near  as  possible  to  Miss  D.  And  while  his  eyes 
rested  upon  her,  at  a  respectful  distance,  he  neglected  no 
means  in  his  power  to  attract  her  attention.  His  glossy 
boots  were  thrust  out,  and  his  jewelled  fingers  protruded, 
unmindful  himself  of  the  enormous  size  and  uncouth 
shape  of  his  feet,  and  the  rough  exterior  and  large  dimen- 
sions of  his  monstrous  hands.  But  he  had  quite  an  inge- 
nuous and  not  unhandsome  face,  with  an  exuberant  head 
of  dark  hair.  And  as  it  had  by  some  means  become 
rumoured — which  Jack  attributed  to  the  humurous  pro- 
pensity of  Mr.  J.  H.,  a  Santa  Fe  merchant — that  Nap 
was  very  rich,  being  the  proprietor  of  a  whole  town  in  the 
West,  the  young  man  received  many  flattering  attentions 
from  the  ofiicers  of  the  boat,  and  from  many  of  the  pas- 
sengers. 

In  process  of  time,  Nap  ventured  to  address  a  few  timid 
words  to  Miss  D.,  and  he  was  very  agreeably  surprised  to 
find  that  she  did  not  decline  the  conversation.  Then  he 
was  desperately  involved.  Although  she  spoke  only  on 
the  topics  in  agitation  in  her  immediate  circle,  and  ex- 
pressed no  sentiments  different  from  what  Molly  herself 
might  have  done,  yet  Nap  thought  her  voice  and  manner 
so  superior  to  those  of  any  lady  he  had  hitherto  had  the 
good  fortune  to  meet  with,  that  in  the  exhilaration  of  the 
moment,  he  felt  an  almost  irresistible  inclination  to  lay  his 
heart  at  her  feet,  if  such  a  thing  were  at  all  practicable. 

Nap  had  read  Shakspeare  in  the  solitudes  of  the  West* 


U4A  LIFE  AND   ADVENTURES 

ern  wilderness  ;  and  having  a  retentive  memory,  he  excitea 
the  interest  of  the  gifted  lady  by  repeating  the  passages 
which  had  affected  him  the  most.  Thus  the  student  of 
nature  found  a  subject  not  unworthy  of  her  attention. 
Success  in  her  profession  depended  in  some  measure  upon 
the  impressions  she  produced  on  the  minds  of  just  such 
specimens  of  humanity  as  the  one  before  her.  Hence  she 
was  curious  to  ascertain  which  actions  and  expressions  of 
the  poet's  characters  produced  the  deepest  and  most  last- 
ing emotions  in  the  breasts  of  the  class  represented  by 
our  susceptible  hero.  She  was,  however,  diverted  to  find 
him  something  of  an  enigma,  and  an  admirer  of  the  rather 
unstable  gentleman  of  Verona,  Sir  Proteus. 

But  the  music  of  her  voice  and  the  freedom  of  her  man- 
ner, an  eccentricity  often  the  accompaniment  of  genius, 
completely  enchanted  poor  Nap.  He  undoubtedly  had 
been  her  captive,  if  she  had  chosen  to  put  forth  her  hand 
and  take  him.  During  the  first  ebullition  of  his  unbounded 
admiration,  other  attachments  were  completely  forgotten. 
But  we  must  do  him  the  justice  to  say  that  he  was  not 
designedly  oblivious  of  pre-existing  engagements,  nor  was 
he  capable  of  premeditatedly  violating  their  obligations. 
He  was  only  the  slave  of  impulse,  and  liable  to  be  swept 
away  by  the  last  violent  inclination  that  impelled  him. 
And  although  he  was  quite  prepared  at  any  moment  to 
acknowledge  the  right,  unfortunately  he  was  too  often 
incapable  of  resisting  the  wrong. 

In  the  present  instance,  however,  he  was  in  no  danger 
of  committing  an  abandonment  of  either  his  first  or 
second  love ;  for  Miss  D.  never  dreamed  that  his  palpable 
admiration  of  her  had  been  elicited  by  the  charms  of  her 
person.  She  merely  supposed  he  was  one  of  the  <^troops- 
of  friends"  who  delighted  to  do  her  honour  as  a  public 
character,  and  to  swell  the  plaudits  that  greeted  her  ears 
on  every  side  in  her  professional  career. 

But  Jack,  who  watched  him  narrowly,  knew  better-  He 
saw  that  a  revolution  in  Nap's  purposes  was  being  formed ; 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  245 

and  that  if  the  excitement  under  which  he  laboured  should 
be  prolonged,  the  mercantile  days  of  his  friend  were  num- 
bered. Already  he  manifested  a  repugnance  to  converse 
on  matters  of  business ;  and  had  several  times  hinted  that 
it  was  a  mere  sacrifice  of  life  to  pass  one's  days  in  the 
obscurity  of  the  Western  wilds. 

"What  could  you  do  in  the  East,  Nap?"  asked  Jack, 
one  night,  when  his  companion  was  sighing  in  his  berth  at 
the  prospect  of  parting  with  the  being  he  was  now  wor- 
shipping, and  lamenting  the  cruel  fate  which  had  cast  his 
lot  on  the  slimy  banks  of  the  distant  Missouri. 

"I  might  do  as  well  as  others.  Others  have  gone  from 
the  West  into  the  great  cities  and  succeeded ;  why  might 
not  I  do  the  same?  Why  should  I  not  have  my  name 
repeated  in  the  newspapers  as  well  as  others  ?  Living  in 
obscurity,  who  knows  there  is  such  a  being  as  N.  B.  Wax 
in  existence,  except  his  limited  circle  of  friends?" 

"Oh,  are  you  getting  ambitious.  Nap  ?  Do  you  suppose 
one  is  more  happy  having  his  name  before  the  public,  a 
mark  for  praise  or  censure,  as  he  may  or  may  not  be  suc- 
cessful, or  as  the  caprices  of  his  judges  may  lead  them  to 
decide,  than  he  who  runs  a  prosperous  career  in  private 
life,  with  no  one  to  condemn,  and  ever  contented  with  the 
approbation  of  his  own  conscience?" 

"  I  suppose  the  first  to  be  the  happiest,  even  if  the  cri- 
tics assail  him.  The  last  may  live  in  peace  ;  but  when  he 
dies  he  will  leave  no  trace  behind.  His  name  will  be  for- 
gotten by  the  children  of  his  neighbours,  and  his  own 
grandchildren  will  not  mention  it.  Miss  D.  was  telling 
me  of  a  poor  author,  whose  name  is  in  the  catalogues  of 
all  the  public  libraries,  and  whose  volumes  are  distributed 
by  tens  of  thousands  over  the  land.  His  name,  as  a  moral 
teacher,  will  be  uttered  by  admiring  millions  for  many 
generations  to  come,  perhaps  for  centuries.  But  he  is 
poor.  He  was  compelled  to  sell  his  copyrights,  and  now 
enjoys  but  a  small  share  of  the  profits  derived  from  his 
published  works ;  and  yet  she  says  he  is  happy.    He  dwelld 

21* 


246  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

in  the  neighbourliood  of  a  djcr,  a  chemist,  and  a  dealer  in 
linseys,  who  have  made  fortunes  and  built  fine  houses.  She 
says  they  avert  their  eyes  when  they  meet  him.  He  does 
not  come  up  to  their  standard  of  respectability.  He  is  a 
tenant ;  they  live  in  their  own  houses.  He  rides  in  an 
omnibus  ;  they  in  their  own  carriages.  They  visit  one 
another,  and  others  like  themselves  with  large  incomes; 
but  have  no  intercourse  with  him.  Oh,  you  should  have 
seen  her  lowering  brow,  her  flashing  eye,  and  quivering 
lip,  as  she  denounced  them.  She  said  the  fame  they  coveted 
was  like  that  of  the  butterfly;  while  that  which  would  re- 
ward the  author  she  assimilated  to  the  permanent  brilliance 
of  a  star.  People  would  gaze  upon  it  for  ever.  When 
the  ignoble  dust  of  the  proud  cockney  shopkeepers  shall 
be  mingled  with  its  kindred  earth,  said  she,  their  grand- 
children will  regret  not  being  enabled  to  say  that  those 
who  acquired  fortunes  for  them  had  likewise  merited  the 
esteem  and  enjoyed  the  friendship  of  that  same  poor 
neglected  author." 

"Would  you  be  an  author.  Nap?" 

"  No ;  not  exactly.  I  cannot  write.  It  seems  to  me 
I  never  can  learn  to  punctuate.  My  letters  are  single 
paragraphs,  I  am  told,  and  different  subjects  are  sure  to 
be  run  into  one  sentence.  I  make  no  capital  letters,  no 
periods,  nothing  but  nonsense.  That  is  exactly  what  the 
editors  of  the  Post  and  Courier  said  when  I  offered  them 
contributions.  It  was  in  the  notice  to  correspondents. 
But  I  might  improve." 

"If  you  are  not  a  genius,  what  can  you  do  to  become 
famous?" 

«I  might  be  an  actor." 

"The  deuce!"  ; 

"I  have  been  thinking  of  it  seriously." 

"What  character  would  you  like  to  .personate?" 

"I  would  like  to  be  Romeo  to  Miss  D.'s  Juliet.  But 
that  I  know  is  impossible ;  for  I  heard  her  say  that  all 
Eomeos  should  be  tall  and  slim." 


OP   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  247 

"And  you  are  fat.     How  would  FalstafF  do?'* 

"  Not  at  all.  I  despise  the  character.  I  have  no  low 
humour  in  me.     Mine  is  a  dream  of  romance." 

"Yes ;  and  the  sooner  you  awake  to  the  reality  of  the 
absurdity,  the  better  for  you." 

"  I  have  spoken  to  Mr.  F.  on  the  subject.  But  he  is 
not  to  let  Miss  D.  know  that  I  have  any  such  purpose." 

"What  did  he  say?  Did  he  advise  you  to  become  a 
player?" 

"No.  He  introduced  me  to  Mr.  S.,  who  is  studying  a 
part  in  which  to  make  his  debut.  He  says.  Mr.  S.  has 
some  familiarity  with  the  stage,  some  education,  and  a 
passion  for  theatrical  representations.  If  he  succeeds, 
then,  in  time,  I  may  follow,  if  my  desire  for  that  sort  of 
distinction  continues  unabated.  I  am  to  witness  Mr.  S.'s 
first  appearance  on  any  stage,  the  night  after  we  get  to  the 
city." 

Jack  fell  asleep.  Nap  did  not  now  disturb  him  with  his 
snore.  The  poor  fellow  only  turned  over  and  over  and 
sighed.  Sometimes  he  groaned,  but  was  not  heard  by  any 
one  to  snore.  He  must  have  snored,  however,  if  he  slept 
at  all.  Probably  he  had  a  few  snatches  of  slumber  when 
every  one  else  was  steeped  in  repose  during  the  still  hours 
of  the  night.  But  if  he  did,  he  must  have  been  personating 
the  lover  in  his  dreams,  for  his  perturbed  brain  was  racked 
by  no  other  theme. 

In  short,  he  was  a  changed  being  under  the  influence  of 
the  potent  spell  which  had  been  cast  upon  him.  He  even 
grew  slightly  pale,  and  Avas  becoming  taciturn  on  all  sub- 
jects but  one.  He  seemed  to  be  continually  plunged  in  a 
reverie,  no  doubt  in  fancy  enjoying  the  acclamations  of  a 
worshipping  multitude.  They  sat  in  a  fine  coach,  Miss  D. 
and  himself — in  his  imagination — the  cynosure  of  all  eyes, 
a  dual  constellation  in  a  firmanent  of  his  own  creation. 

Handy  was  much  concerned  for  his  friend.  He  feared 
he  would  go  mad.  His  mind  was  already  much  deranged. 
So  he  exerted  himself  to  counteract  the  eifects  of  his 


248  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

idiosyncrasy.  And  when  they  landed  at  Pittsburg,  and 
Nap  had  taken  a  last  longing  look  at  the  retreating  form 
of  his  divinity,  Jack  made  a  desperate  effort  to  lead  his 
friend's  thoughts  into  a  business  channel.  They  had  some 
purchases  to  make  at  this  place,  such  as  iron,  nails,  cast- 
iron  pots,  ovens,  dog  irons,  spun  yarn,  &c. 

It  was  laughable  to  see  the  aversion  expressed  in  Nap's 
ingenuous  face,  when  Jack  read  over  the  memorandum  of 
articles  usually  bought  in  Pittsburg.  But  as  he  had  come 
to  buy,  he  could  not  refuse  to  purchase.  Jack,  however, 
transacted  most  of  his  business  for  him,  having  merely  a 
passive  concurrence  on  Nap's  part,  and  with  no  manifesta- 
tion of  interest  in  the  operation.  Nap  even  calculated 
the  amount  of  his  funds  carelessly,  when  paying  for  the 
goods,  and  did  not  examine  his  bills  to  see  if  they  had 
been  properly  receipted.  The  merchandise  was  shipped, 
however,  without  delay  for  St.  Louis,  with  instructions  to 
the  consignee  to  forward  it  by  the  first  boat  going  up  the 
Missouri  river. 

The  impatience  of  Nap  to  leave  Pittsburg  was  not  un- 
natural. To  say  nothing  of  his  anxiety  to  behold  those 
"angelic  features"  once  more,  the  dark  cloud  which  hung 
suspended  over  the  city,  began  to  produce  a  very  sombre 
effect  on  his  feelings,  and  the  coal-dust  spoiled  his  shirts, 
of  which  he  had  not  now  a  superabundance  in  a  fitting 
condition  to  wear.  Besides,  he  was  beginning  to  cough 
violently,  and  hinted  to  his  friend  that  he  feared  he  was 
going  into  a  decline.  Jack  merely  replied  that  then  he 
would  be  enabled  to  "look"  the  part  of  Romeo  better. 
He  had  no  fear  of  the  consumption. 


OF  A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  249 


CHAPTER  XXI. 

The  young  men  arrive  in  Philadelphia — Nap  admires  a  chambermaid— 
They  visit  the  theatre,  and  Nap  is  cured — Business  maxims — Nap  and 
Jack  make  some  purchases. 

In  due  time  our  young  men  arrived  in  Philadelphia.  It 
was  late  in  the  afternoon  when  they  descended  from  the 
coach  in  front  of  a  fashionable  hotel,  where  they  intended 
to  sojourn  during  their  stay  in  that  city.  They  were  con- 
ducted  to  their  room  by  a  white  servant,  while  three  or 
four  mulattoes  brought  up  the  rear,  bearing  their  trunk, 
(they  still  had  but  one  between  them,)  their  small  carpet- 
bags, and  their  overcoats.  Each  one  demanded  and  ob- 
tained a  shilling. 

Nap  shaved  himself,  leaving  bushy  mustaches ;  then 
scrubbed  and  scoured  his  hands,  neck,  and  face,  and  put 
on  his  last  clean  shirt.  During  this  operation  the  cham- 
bermaid came  in,  and  asked  if  he  wanted  any  washing 
done.  Of  course  he  did.  He  would  have  had  any  thing 
done  to  accommodate  her.  She  was  handsome  and  neatly 
dressed,  and  Jack  hoped  a  new  impression  was  about  to  be 
made  on  his  susceptible  and  impulsive  friend.  Doubtless 
Nap  would  have  fallen  in  love  with  her,  if  he  had  not  been 
on  the  eve  of  again  beholding  the  enchanting  Miss  D., 
who  had  so  recently  monopolized  all  his  thoughts.  As  it 
was,  he  could  not  avoid  being  amiable  and  condescending. 
But  when  he  uttered  the  first  familiar  expression,  the  girl 
vanished.  She  was  afraid  of  the  strong  Western  men,  and 
was  an  honest  poor  girl,  soliciting  a  job  for  her  indigent 
mother. 

The  young  men  had  not  been  long  engaged  in  the  agree- 
able process  of  renovating  their  persons,  before  the  cards 
of  their  city  acquaintances,  who  had  visited  Missouri,  be- 
gan to  come  in.     Even  the  names  of  others,  whom  they 


250  -  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

did  not  recollect,  were  likewise  sent  up,  accompanied  by 
lithographed  circulars  and  printed  catalogues  of  the  in- 
finite variety  of  articles  they  kept  for  sale. 

This  was  fortunate.  Handy  magnified  the  importance 
of  such  polite  attentions,  and  Nap  pricked  up  his  ears 
while  his  friend  dwelt  upon  the  favourable  auspices  attend- 
ing their  first  visit  to  the  city.  Doubtless  their  names 
were  already  known  to  the  ^'merchant  princes,"  the  men 
of  wealth,  of  character,  and  of  influence;  and  all  were 
quite  ready  to  establish  business  relations  with  them,  and 
probably  some  of  them  might  introduce  them  into  the  very 
best  society.  This  was  exceedingly  agreeable  to  Nap.  He 
was  much  gratified  at  the  prospect,  and  at  the  prompt 
manner  in  which  the  news  of  their  arrival  had  spread  over 
the  city.  He  would  indeed  have  been  in  ecstasies,  had  he 
not  been  previously  fascinated  with  ideas  of  a  difierent 
nature.  As  it  was,  the  distinctions  which  Jack  portrayed 
were  appreciated ;  and  Nap  honestly  confessed  his  regret 
that  nature  had  not  gifted  him  with  a  mind  contented  to 
achieve  triumphs  in  the  mercantile  line. 

After  supper,  tlfe  young  men  visited  the  theatre.  They 
took  seats  in  the  orchestra-box,  that  they  might  have  a 
good  opportunity  to  view  the  actors  more  distinctly  than 
they  could  from  a  more  distant  part  of  the  house. 

The  house  was  crowded  in  every  part.  Large  posters, 
announcing  the  debut  of  Mr.  S.,  who  had  undertaken  to 
perform  an  important  part  in  a  familiar  tragedy,  in  con- 
junction with  Miss  D.,  whose  appearance  on  any  stage 
never  failed  to  attract  large  audiences,  had  filled  the  fre- 
quenters of  the  house  with  eager  curiosity,  and  they 
mustered  in  great  numbers  on  the  present  occasion. 

When  the  curtain  arose.  Miss  D.,  as  usual,  was  received 
with  rapturous  applause.  Nap  being  more  boisterous  in  his 
prolonged  plaudits  than  any  one  else.  When  the  confusion 
abated,  and  the  lady  approached  the  front  of  the  stage,  our 
hero  did  not  doubt  that  he  would  receive  from  her  a  brief 
particular  recognition.    But  he  was  mistaken.     She  did  not 


OF  A  COUNTEl'  MEKCHANT.  251 

deign  to  cast  a  giance  upon  him,  and  he  winced  under  the 
disappointment.  However,  he  cheered  with  the  rest  at 
the  end  of  her  periods,  and  awaited  the  appearance  of  Mr. 
S.,  upon  whose  success  or  failure  depended  his  own  fate  in 
the  profession.  Mr.  S.  was  a  stage-struck,  romantic  youth, 
who  had  absconded  from  his  family.  His  father  was  a 
wealthy  planter,  and  one  of  the  F's. 

Nevertheless,  when  Mr.  S.  appeared,  and  the  applause 
w^hich  kindly  greeted  him  had  subsided,  he  found  himself 
bereft  of  two  indispensable  qualifications  of  an  actor,  viz. 
a  voice,  and  a  knowledge  of  his  part.  Following  his 
father's  hounds,  his  voice  could  be  heard  a  mile  distant; 
and  in  his  own  chamber,  with  the  key  turned  on  the  in- 
side, he  could  stand  up  before  a  mirror  and  repeat  every 
word  of  his  part.  He  had  done  it  twenty  times.  But 
now  he  stood  speechless  and  petrified.  After  a  long  pause, 
he  was  again  encouraged  to  proceed  by  a  smart  clapping 
of  hands.  Then  followed  a  few  hisses.  The  prompter 
repeated  the  word  for  the  tenth  time,  and  at  length  S. 
caught  at  it  and  ran  ofi"  a  sentence  or  two  very  rapidly, 
but  in  so  feeble  a  voice  that  no  one  could  hear  what  he 
was  saying.  Then  the  one  to  whom  these  words  were  ad- 
dressed replied  in  louder  tones  than  usual,  and  thus  fright- 
ened the  debutant  the  more  by  the  contrast.  And  so 
he  mumbled  his  sentences  less  distinctly  than  ever,  and 
his  attempts  at  gesture  were  quite  as  ridiculous  as  any 
thing  else. 

At  the  end  of  the  scene,  poor  S.  was  saluted  with  a 
a  wreath  of  cabbage-leaves,  and  a  thundergust  of  hootings 
and  hisses.  Once  more  he  ventured  to  appear;  but  again 
his  heart  failed  him.  At  the  end  of  the  act,  the  boys 
called  for  him.  They  demanded  that  he  should  appear 
before  the  curtain  to  gratify  their  pleasure.  Then  it  was 
that  S.  evinced  some  degree  of  independence.     He  told 

the  manager  he  would first !     The  manager  said  it  was 

necessary,  else  they  would  not  be  appeased.  S.  said  he 
didn't  care  whether  they  were  appeased  or  not.     Such  a 


252  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

reply  the  manager  had  never  before  heard  from  an  actor. 
He  deemed  himself  absolute — an  autocrat  of  all  the 
mimic  Russias,  and  Denmarks,  and  Englands — and  he 
would  not  put  up  with  it. 

"I  will  not  have  such  a  reply,  sir!"  said  he,  stamping 
his  managerial  foot. 

"Very  well;  throw  it  away  then.  I  will  not  take  it 
back." 

"  You  shall,  sir  !"  ~ 

"  Take  care  !  Don't  menace  me  !  I  may  be  thrown  off 
my  guard  by  your  gas-light  and  painted  scenery ;  but,  sir, 
if  you  approach  another  step  nearer,  you  will  find  me  no 
timid  actor  in  a  real  tragedy."  S.  drew  the  sword  he 
wore,  and  really  seemed  to  be  prepared  for  the  conflict. 
The  manager,  personating  one  of  the  characters  of  the 
play,  likewise  had  a  sword.  But  he  did  not  draw  it. 
Suddenly  he  discovered  danger  in  the  eye  of  the  mortified 
and  desperate  young  debutant  from  the  South,  and  turned 
away  from  him.  S.  immediately  donned  his  own  clothes 
and  left  the  theatre,  while  the  manager  had  to  make  his 
explanations  to  the  audience,  and  have  another  person  to 
play  the  part,  .who  certainly  failed  to  produce  so  great  a 
sensation  in  the  subsequent  acts  as  S.  had  done  in  the 
first  one. 

Mr.  F.,  who  was  incognito  in  the  pit,  whispered  to  Nap 
that  this  was  the  twentieth  debut  he  had  witnessed  of  a 
somewhat  similar  termination,  and  that  his  would  be  the 
twenty-first,  if  he  persisted  in  making  the  attempt. 

Nap  heard  him,  but  was  incapable  of  reply.  He  was 
convinced  now  that  he  could  never  be  a  successful  player, 
and  he  despaired  of  winning  a  smile  from  Miss  D.,  as 
a  slight  reward  for  his  enthusiastic  applause.  By  degrees 
his  plaudits  grew  less  loud  and  frequent.  And  when  the 
green  curtain  fell,  he  arose  to  depart. 

"Jack,"  said  he,  "I'm  awake  now,  and  sober.  Why 
didn't  you  whisper  my  right  name,  for  the  time  being,  in 
my  ear  ?* ' 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  253 

"  What  name  was  that  ?"  * 

"  Christopher  Sly.  I  have  been  a  fool.  But  I  am 
glad  I  have  not  lost  my  money.  Yonder  are  the  boys  we 
saw  in  Missouri.  We  have  been  sitting  with  our  backs 
toward  them,  and  they  couldn't  know  us.  Let  us  join 
them,  and  learn  the  price  of  linseys.  Nap's  a  merchant 
again." 

Handy  felt  an  inclination  to  applaud  this  determination 
publicly,  but  suppressed  it.  They  then  directed  their 
steps  toward  their  Eastern  friends.  Nap  exacting  a  pro- 
mise from  Jack  never  to  divulge  the  tale  of  his  "  love  and 
madness." 

The  greetings  that  followed  were  hearty  and  sincere. 
Uncle  Billy,  Joe  T.,  John  P.,  Sam  C,  M.  J.,  &c.  &c.  &c., 
were  all  in  the  lobby,  between  the  acts,  and  were  sur- 
rounded by  their  Western  constituents.  But  as  our  young 
merchants  were  in  the  city  for  the  first  time,  they  were 
entitled  to,  and  did  receive,  some  extra  attentions.  And 
it  was  well  for  the  novices  that  they  were  taken  in  charge 
by  gentlemen  of  standing  and  respectability,  either  part- 
ners in  or  representatives  of  houses  in  the  highest  repute 
.. — houses  which  might  always  be  safely  relied  on,  and  which 
could  boast  their  customers  of  more  than  thirty  years 
standing. 

But  if  the  old  and  respectable  houses  might  be  relied 
on  to  deal  in  a  proper  manner  with  all  their  customers, 
never  exacting  a  larger  profit  than  was  just  and  reason- 
able under  the  circumstances,  the  young  gentlemen  from 
the  country,  on  their  first  visit  to  the  city,  could  not  them- 
selves be  always  depended  upon  to  buy  of  them  as  freely 
as  they  ought.  They  were  intercepted  in  many  ways, 
and  prevented  from  doing  what  they  designed.  Sociable 
themselves,  strangers  had  no  difiiculty  in  making  their 
acquaintance ;  polite,  they  could  not  avoid  appreciating  a 
kindness  ;  credulous,  they  believed  many  of  the  monstrous 
tales  whispered  in  their  ears  about  superior  goods,  and 
excessively  low  prices ;  and  being  urged  to  "  make  a  be- 

22 


254  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

ginning,"  they  often  purchased  largely  where  they  should 
not  have  bought  at  all — and  bought  nothing,  where  they 
should  have  purchased  every  thing.  Such  had  been  the 
case  with  very  many  novices,  who  repented  it  as  they  grew 
older  and  obtained  experience. 

It  was  not  so  with  Wax  and  young  Handy,  in  Phila- 
delphia. The  brother  of  the  latter  had  written  his  friends 
to  have  them  in  their  special  keeping  until  their  memoran- 
dum-books were  checked  off;  and  as  the  young  men  na- 
turally confided  in  those  they  had  known  the  longest,  it  was 
not  difficult  to  comply  with  Joseph's  wishes. 

The  first  day  was  spent  by  our  young  gentlemen  in 
"looking  around,"  and  calling  upon  their  acquaintances. 
Their  drafts  were  deposited  at  Messrs.  R.  &  Co.*s,  which 
had  been  the  head-quarters  of  the  country  merchants  in 
the  section  of  the  country  they  came  from,  almost  "  from 
time  immemorial."  And  the  chief  of  the  establishment, 
as  was  his  usual  custom  with  very  young  merchants,  took 
an  early  opportunity  to  give  Nap  and  Jack  some  good 
advice.  He  told  them  very  frankly  that  they  would  not 
be  able  to  know  whether  goods  were  really  cheap  or  dear 
by  looking  at  them.  It  would  take  them  a  month  to  be- 
come familiar  with  the  market,  and  as  much  longer  to  be- 
come calm  and  self-possessed  amid  the  strange  sights  and 
confused  noises  of  the  city.  A  proper  selection  of  houses 
to  buy  in  was  more  important  than  a  mere  selection  of 
styles.  Every  house  knew  the  kind  of  goods  they  wanted, 
and  if  they  confined  their  operations  to  the  right  sort  of 
houses,  they  would  not  be  permitted  to  go  wrong.  Every 
jobber,  desirous  of  making  customers  and  retaining  them, 
"wished"  those  who  purchased  his  goods  to  prosper  with 
them.  They  were  deeply  interested  in  the  success  of  their 
customers.  For  if  the  country  merchant  failed  in  busi- 
ness, of  course  the  city  merchant  would  be  the  sufferer. 
If  he  succeeded,  the  city  merchant  shared  his  prosperity. 
They  were  identified  in  interests.  Hence  the  young  gen- 
tlemen could  not  go  amiss  if  they  confided  in  houses  of 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  255 

established  reputation;  and  it  would  be  better  for  them 
to  be  entirely  governed  by  the  advice  of  the  experienced 
members  of  such  houses,  as  to  qualities  and  prices,  than 
to  rely  upon  their  own  judgment.  Of  course,  it  would 
be  necessary  for  the  purchasers  to  exercise  their  taste 
and  discretion  in  regard  to  patterns,  colours,  textures,  &c., 
choosing  those  which  they  might  deem  to  be  the  best 
adapted  to  their  localities.  But  their  safest  policy  would 
be  to  put  as  much  responsibility  as  possible  on  the  jobbers. 
They  would  not  regret  it  when  they  got  home  and  opened 
their  goods.  On  the  other  hand,  if  they  took  all  the 
responsibility  themselves,  relying  altogether  upon  their 
own  judgments,  the  jobbers  would  naturally  seek  to  make 
the  most  they  could  out  of  them,  and  would  be  justifiable 
in  doing  so.  But  in  such  a  contest  he  said  the  jobbers 
would  have  an  immense  advantage,  and  advised  them 
not  to  enter  the  lists  against  them.  The  safest  way  would 
be  to  rely  upon  their  promises,  and  believe  their  state- 
ments, and  they  would  not  be  likely  to  deceive  them. 
And  if  they  did,  they  would  be  accountable,  and  would 
have  to  indemnify  them.  He  concluded  by  saying, 
"There,  boys,  I've  delivered  my  speech.  Think  of  it, 
and  act  as  you  please.  Any  goods  you  want  of  us,  Uncle 
Billy  will  sell  you.  He  knows  what  you  want,  and  you 
know  him." 

Both  Nap  and  Jack  drew  forth  their  memorandum- 
books,  and  purchased  a  considerable  portion  of  their  staple 
dry-goods  immediately  afterward.  In  the  afternoon  they 
monopolized  the  attention  of  their  friend  Joe  T.  They 
implicitly  believed  whatever  he  told  them,  and  they  acted 
wisely.  He  was  perfectly  familiar  with  the  kind  of  goods 
adapted  to  the  wants  of  their  customers,  and  offered  no 
other.  William  S.  and  Mr.  F.  attested  their  cheapness, 
and  the  young  men  knew  the  prices  they  would  bring  in 
Missouri.  So  their  goods  in  Joe  T.'s  line  were  soon 
bought ;  and  the  operations  of  a  few  hours  amounted  to 
thousands  of  dollars. 


"2;^  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

Pretty  much  the  same  thing  occurred  at  ''Sam's"  house, 
at  C.  C.  &  Co.'s,  and  at  Jno.  P.'s.  In  the  hardware  line, 
they  never  dreamed  of  looking  farther  than  S.  &  S.'s,  the 
legitimate  successors  in  one  of  the  oldest  houses  in  the 
city.  And  it  was  very  much  the  same  in  the  hat  line. 
They  had  scarcely  ever  heard  of  any  other  than  the  old 
house  in  Third  street.  Nor  could  they  have  been  induced 
to  look  into  any  other  house  in  Marshall  J.'s  line  than  his. 

Thus  in  a  week  they  had  nearly  completed  their  pur- 
chases, and  had  bought  judiciously,  because  they  dealt 
with  the  right  sort  of  men.  And  if  it  had  not  been  for 
the  stock  Jack  was  to  lay  in  for  Joseph,  they  might  have 
been  ready  to  set  out  on  their  return  home  about  the  tenth 
day  after  their  arrival. 

Generally,  a  moderate  stock,  it  is  supposed  by  ex- 
perienced merchants,  may  be  purchased  within  a  week ;  and 
a  very  small  assortment  it  is  always  best  to  order  by  mail, 
provided  the  country  merchant  is  in  good  credit  and 
fortunate  in  the  selection  of  his  houses.  Such  a  selection, 
it  can  never  be  repeated  too  often,  is  of  infinitely  greater 
importance,  than  any  advantage  a  "smart  buyer"  may 
suppose  himself  capable  of  achieving  by  running  about 
from  house  to  house,  and  city  to  city,  in  pursuit  of  cheap 
goods.  All  the  good  houses  in  the  different  cities  pay 
about  the  same  prices  for  their  goods ;  and  any  of  them 
will  sell,  without  much  urging,  at  a  moderate  advance. 
None  of  them  seek  to  obtain  the  large  profits  which  some 
of  their  credulous  customers  are  led  to  believe.  A  fair 
per  cent., — and  it  is  generally  a  small  one, — is  all  they 
desire  or  strive  to  obtain.  They  do  not  expect  to  realize 
large  profits,  and  generally  they  are  not  disappointed.  If 
a  house  in  the  city  with  a  capital  of  a  hundred  thousand 
dollars  can  sell  the  amount  of  three  hundred  thousand  at 
from  six  to  eight  per  cent,  advance,  it  is  considered  a  good 
business.  In  the  West,  that  amount  of  capital  invested  in 
ten  stores,  if  well  managed,  might  produce  a  gross  profit 
of  fifty  thousand  dollars. 


OF    A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  257 

But  the  idea  that  one  merchant  in  the  city  possesses 
material  advantages  over  his  neighbours  in  getting  up  his 
stock,  or  that  merchandise  is  decidedly  cheaper  in  one 
Eastern  city  than  another,  is  ridiculously  absurd.  Prices 
are  like  flowing  waters,  and  will  reach  a  common  level  in 
all  the  markets  near  to  each  other.  If  the  New  York 
jobber  can  buy  goods  lower  from  the  agents  in  Phila- 
delphia than  from  similar  agents  in  his  own  city,  of  course 
he  will  do  so.  And  the  Philadelphian  is  likewise  sure  to 
go  to  the  commission  house  which  sells  on  the  best  terms, 
whether  it  be  in  Boston^New  York,  Baltimore,  or  at  home. 
So  the  country  merchant,  when  he  hears  that  goods  are 
from  fifteen  to  twenty-five  per  cent,  lower  in  one  city  than 
another,  will  do  well  to  reflect  a  little  before  he  relies 
implicitly  on  the  truth  of  the  statement.  If  such  were 
really  so,  the  intelligent  jobbers  who  were  undersold 
would  hasten  away  and  buy  them  themselves.  And  so 
with  auctions.  If  goods  were  to  be  had  advantageously 
under  the  hammer,  the  jobbers  would  be  the  bidders. 
They  may  seem  to  be  low  sometimes ;  but  it  is  the  part  of 
wisdom  to  know  the  article  will  answer  the  purpose  for 
which  it  is  bought.  The  distant  buyer  cannot  conveniently 
be  indemnified  for  imperfections  discovered  a  month  after 
the  purchase,  and  when  the  article  is  a  thousand  miles 
away. 

Such  is  the  information  derived  from  good  sources,  and 
which  may  be  useful  to  the  young  country  merchant, 
doing  a  limited  amount  of  business.  Without  such  infor- 
mation is  credited  and  acted  upon  at  the  beginning  of  his 
career,  the  inexperienced  countryman  may  blunder  through 
two  or  three  seasons  before  he  is  undeceived  in  regard  to 
the  amount  of  his  talents  and  the  extent  of  his  sagacity. 
After  paying  dearly  for  the  whistle,  and  when  he  is  bound 
to  own  that  he  did  not  know  more  than  those  who  had 
preceded  him — in  short,  when  he  acknowledges  his  igno- 
rance— then  he  is  beginning  to  learn  something  of  the 
jnysteries  of  the  profession,  and  may  with   caution   and 

22» 


258  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

economy,  make  a  fortune.  And  unless  he  is  -willing  to 
learn — instead  of  assuming  to  know  more  than  anybody 
else  in  matters  of  which  he  is  necessarily  ignorant — it 
would  be  much  better  for  him  to  remain  at  home  and  order 
his  goods  by  letter.  If  he  orders  from  houses  of  good 
standing,  he  will  get  his  stock  quite  as  cheaply  as  if  he 
bought  it  in  person ;  but  even  if  he  pays  five  per  cent, 
more,  provided  he  wants  only  a  few  thousand  dollars'  worth, 
still  it  would  be  best  to  do  so,  on  the  score  of  economy. 
His  personal  expenses,  if  he  visits  the  East  from  any  of 
the  distant  States,  will  be  equivalent  to  the  extra  percent., 
not  to  mention  the  value  of  his  time  when  at  home,  and 
the  sacrifices  always  incurred  in  consequence  of  his 
absence. 


CHAPTER  XXII. 


Nap  makes  some  wonderful  discoveries  in  the  city — The  mercantile 
agency  also  makes  a  discovery — A  Mr.  Pike  is  attracted  from  New 
York — Nap  goes  with  him  and  operates  on  a  large  scale — Returns 
to  Philadelphia,  and  has  his  eyes  opened. 

Nap  had  ceased  to  purchase.  His  memorandum-book  was 
"  ticked  off."  His  goods,  about  five  thousand  dollars'  worth 
in  all,  were  shipped,  and  scudding  by  railroad  and  steam- 
boat on  their  way  to  Venice.  He  only  awaited  the  motions 
of  Jack,  now  buying  for  Joseph,  who  had  stipulated  to 
defray  his  expenses  during  his  absence,  and  to  keep 
Benjamin  at  Troy  until  his  return. 

Although  Nap  spent  with  Jack  much  of  the  time  in 
the  various  establishments  where  he  was  making  his  pur- 
chases, and  where  both  of  them  had  become  familiar  with 
the  principals  and  the  clerks,  yet  he  had  ample  leisure  to 
run  about  the  city  and  see  the  lions  and  elephants.  His 
first  annoyance  was  swollen  feet  and  aching  corns.    Larger 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT  259 

boots  than  the  ones  he  wore  could  not  be  obtained;  and 
he  was  not  willing  to  cut  holes  in  them,  as  some  one 
suggested.  Every  morning  they  shone  like  ebony  mirrors, 
and  were  in  such  admirable  contrast  to  the  old  foxy  pair 
he  had  been  in  the  habit  of  wearing  at  home,  that  he  was 
willing  to  bear  the  infliction  rather  than  be  deprived  of 
the  pleasure.  Unfortunately,  no  one  but  himself  was 
aware  of  the  contrast,  and  he  failed  to  see  that  every  one 
around  him  wore  polished  boots,  and  much  better  shaped 
ones  than  his  own. 

We  doubt  if  it  would  be  better  always  to  see  ourselves 
as  others  see  us.  When  Nap  enjoyed  the  felicity  of  expos- 
ing his  polished  boots  on  the  railing  of  the  balcony  at  his 
hotel;  displayed  the  gold  and  jewelled  rings  on  his 
enormous  fingers,  and  stroked  his  dark  bushy  mustaches 
with  an  almost  ineffable  appreciation  of  his  beauty  and 
imposing  appearance — what  would  have  been  his  feelings 
if  he  had  looked  upon  himself  with  the  eyes  of  a  majority 
of  those  whose  attention  he  attracted?  Some  mentally 
called  him  a  fool ;  others  an  ass,  country  booby,  and 
village  snob.  His  large  feet  proved  he  had  been  a  foot- 
passenger  in  the  journey  of  life ;  his  monstrous  hands 
indicated  that  he  had  been  habituated  to  vile  manual 
labour  ;  his  heavy  chain  proved  his  vulgarity,  because  such 
had  been  out  of  fashion  a  whole  year  ;  his  clothes  came 
from  a  slop-shop ;  he  wore  his  shirt-collar  down,  when  it 
should  be  up  ;  he  held  his  quizzing-glass  in  the  wrong 
hand ;  he  leaned  back  in  his  chair,  always  a  sign  of  ill- 
breeding  ;  he  wore  a  black-satin  vest,  in  fashion  five  years 
before ;  he  cleaned  his  finger-nails  and  picked  his  teeth  in 
public ;  he  chewed  tobacco  !  Such  were  the  thoughts  of 
the  beaux  and  belles,  the  fops  and  hotel-waiters,  who  beheld 
our  hero.  And  would  it  have  been  better  for  him  to  have 
beheld  himself  with  their  eyes?  Why,  the  poor  fellow 
might  have  committed  suicide ! 

Nap,  however,  had  explored  the  principal  streets  and 
koked  into  some  of  the  alleys.     Every  morning,  when  he 


260  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

called  at  the  Messrs.  R.  &  Co. 's  counting-room  for  letters, 
lie  made  it  a  practice  to  study  the  map  of  the  city.  One 
morning  he  bent  over  the  chart  so  long,  and  seemed  to  be 
BO  deeply  abstracted,  that  Mr.  R.  placed  his  hand  on 
his  shoulder,  and  in  a  half-jocular,  half-familiar  manner, 
said — 

<'Well,  young  man,  haven't  you  mastered  your  lesson 
yet  ?     Let  me  assist  you.     What  is  it  you  wish  to  find  ?" 

"  I  want  to  solve  some  mysteries,  which  have  been 
puzzling  my  brain  for  two  days." 

"  Mysteries  ?     There  are  no  mysteries  here." 

"No  mysteries!"    said  P.  M r,  from  Tennessee — 

the  office  being  full  of  merchants  from  Missouri,  Ken- 
tucky, and  Tennessee.  "  I  venture  to  say  the  young  man 
will  deny  that.  You  must  not  probe  his  secrets.  He  may 
be  endeavouring  to  trace  the  route  cff  some  of  his  noctur- 
nal wanderings." 

"  No,"  said  Nap,  innocently,  "I  have  not  yet  wandered 
much  alone  after  night.  I  have  been  warned  against  it. 
The  only  time  I  cruised  at  all  in  an  obscure  street  was 
on  Sunday  night,  and  then" 

"Ahem!     Never  mind — never  mind,"  said  the  other. 

"  You  were  in  my  company,"  continued  Nap,  amid  much 
laughter.  Nap  felt  exalted.  He  looked  triumphant,  and 
an  Irish  beggar-woman  coming  in,  he  gave  her  a  quarter 
of  a  dollar,  and  she  curtseyed  to  him,  for  she  had  just  been 
dismissed  at  the  next  door  with  a  copper. 

"  Then,"  said  Mr.  M.,  who  had  laughed  heartily  with  the 
rest,  "you  are  studying  the  map,  perhaps,  for  the  purpose 
of  making  the  next  cruise  by  yourself." 

Nap  had  no  rejoinder  for  this  retort.  He  simply 
denied  it,  and  declared  very  seriously  that  it  was  another 
matter  altogether  he  wished  to  elucidate,  and  until 
he  succeeded  in  doing  so,  he  could  not  be  sure  of  the 
sanity  of  his  mind.  This  announcement  attracted  the 
attention  of  all  who  were  present.  And  Nap,  finding 
himself  thus  noticed,  proceeded  to  declare  that  he  some- 


OF  A  COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  261 

times  believed  the  maker  of  the  chart  must  be  a  madman, 
and  that  many  other  characters  in  the  East  partook  of  the 
same  lunacy,  or  else  his  own  head  was  turned. 

His  audience,  whose  curiosity  was  now  much  excited, 
demanded  the  reason  why  he  supposed  so. 

^'The  other  night,"  said  he,  "I  stepped  into  a  room 
and  saw  a  man  walking  with  his  feet  up  against  the  ceiling 
and  his  head  downward.  His  head  was  turned.  So  much 
for  him.  The  next  day,  I  called  at  the  telegraph-office 
precisely  at  ten  o'clock,  A.  M.,  and  wrote  a  despatch  for 
St.  Louis.  After  paying  for  it,  I  asked  the  operator  when 
he  thought  Mr.  Morrison  would  receive  it.  He  said  about 
a  quarter  before  ten.  <  In  the  evening  ?'  I  remarked.  <  No, 
sir,'  said  he ;  'in  the  morning.'  '  To-morrow  morning,  you 
mean,'  said  I.  «No,  sir!'  said  he;  <this  morning.'  And 
gentlemen' ' 

Here  Nap  was  interrupted  by  explosions  of  laughter. 

"You  may  laugh,  gentlemen,"  he  continued,  quite  red 
in  the  face,  but  hang  me  if  I  ain't  telling  the  truth.  And 
when  the  operator  repeated  the  assertion,  a  very  respectable 
old  gentleman,  who  stood  by,  said  it  was  true.  Then  the 
president  of  the  company,  a  big,  fat  man,  and  a  newspaper 
publisher,  I  am  told,  came  forward  and  offered  to  explain 
the  matter.  I  knew  it  was  impossible.  I  said  I  would  not 
hear  a  madman  explain  such  an  absurdity.  They  might 
as  well  attempt  to  make  me  believe  the  sun  don't  set  in 
the  evening  as  such  nonsense  as  that." 

"  They  were  right,"  said  Mr.  R.,  after  the  uproarious 
laughter  subsided.  "I  could  explain  it  to  you  myself. 
And  I  could  also  convince  you  that  the  sun  don't  set  in  the 
evening." 

"If  i/oM  say  so,  it  is  so,"  replied  Nap,  "and  I  am 
deranged.  But  that  is  not  what  I  am  studying  the  map 
for.  Don't  the  Schuylkill  river  empty  into  the  Delaware 
below  the  city?" 

"Yes,"  answered  several. 

"And  when  one  stands  at  the  foot  of  Market  street 


262  LIFE  AND   ADVENTURES 

and  faces  the  East,  is  not  the  source  of  the  Delaware 
river  on  his  left  hand  and  its  mouth  on  the  right?" 

"  Oh  yes,"  said  they. 

"  You  are  all  quite  sure  of  it  ?  The  left  hand  points  up 
the  river,  and  the  right  down?" 

"  Quite  sure.     You  are  perfectly  right,"  said  Mr.  R. 

"  Then  durn  me  if  you  ain't  perfectly  wrong,  or  else  the 
world's  turned  topsy-turvy !  For  I'll  take  my  oath  that 
two  mornings  in  succession,  I  have  walked  down  to  the 
river,  and  have  seen  the  current  running  at  least  five  miles 
an  hour  up  stream  T' 

A  convulsive  burst  of  laughter  followed. 

"Gentlemen,"  said  Nap,  gravely,  "if  you  will  go  with 
me  now,  and  do  not  find  it  as  I  say,  you  may  pitch  me 
into  the  river.  I  thought  I  would  say  nothing  about  it  for 
a  day  or  two.  But  the  papers  are  silent  on  the  subject. 
Perhaps  no  one  has  informed  the  reporters  of  the  occur- 
rence. It  may  be  an  earthquake  at  sea,  or  a  siak  in  the 
mountains" 

Here  the  deafening  peals  distracted  him. 

"  Gentlemen  !"  said  he,  "  do  you  doubt  my  word  ?" 

"No  !"  said  Mr.  McD 11,  of  Louisville,  an  enterpris- 
ing merchant,  and  sometimes  a  wag,  "  I  do  not  doubt 
your  word,  nor  will  any  gentleman  doubt  it.  It  is  a  most 
strange  and  mysterious  phenomenon.  Gentlemen,"  he 
continued  gravely,  looking  around  significantly,  "let  us 
not  mention  the  affair  to  any  one,  until  we  behold  the 
awful  spectacle  ourselves.  Let  me  see,"  he  added,  looking 
into  an  almanac ;  "  I  have  an  engagement  at  ten  o'clock. 
At  eleven,  let  us  meet  at  this  place  and  go  in  a  body  down 
to  the  river  with  Nap.  Let  us  agree  to  this,  and  promise 
not  to  name  the  wonderful  occurrence  to  any  one  until  we 
return  from  the  wharf." 

They  agreed  to  do  as  he  requested,  and  Nap  seemed 
gratified  that  his  veracity  was  about  to  be  so  signally 
vindicated.  Jack  would  have  interposed,  if  he  had  not 
beAi  withheld  by  Mr.  G.,  of  Kentucky,  who  whispered  that 


OP   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  263 

if  the  joke  were  permitted  to  go  on,  the  lesson  might  be 
serviceable  to  Nap,  in  demonstrating  the  important  fact 
that  the  young  gentlemen  from  the  country,  so  wise  in  their 
own  conceit,  are  not  always  the  best  qualified  to  make 
curious  discoveries  in  a  city. 

At  the  hour  appointed,  some  twenty  merchants  from  the 
"West  and  South  might  have  been  seen  going  in  procession 
toward  the  river.  Mr.  G.  and  Jack  Handy  were  in  the 
van,  while  Nap  was  kept  in  the  rear.  They  marched  down 
through  the  long  market-houses,  and  attracted  much  atten- 
tion. Such  a  number  of  Western  buyers  never  yet  moved 
in  a  body  in  Market  street,  without  producing  a  sensation. 
They  were  joined  by  the  salesmen  from  the  right  and  the 
left  at  every  opening  between  the  stalls.  These  gentlemen 
had  too  keen  a  vision  not  to  distinguish  our  party  among 
the  boarding-house  keepers,  the  butchers,  and  vegetable 
women.  They  were  so  well  practised  that  a  solitary 
merchant,  in  a  large  crowd,  could  be  singled  out  at  a 
glance,  and  taken  on  the  wing  at  a  snap-shot.  All  who 
joined  the  procession  of  course  were  invited  to  accompany 
it ;  and  soon  its  numbers  swelled  to  such  an  extent  as  to 
attract  the  attention  of  the  police  and  the  little  boys. 
Something  extraordinary  must  be  going  on  down  at  the 
river,  and  every  one  felt  a  curiosity  to  see  what  it  was. 

When  the  head  of  the  procession  reached  the  wharf,  a 
double  file  was  formed,  and  Nap  advanced  through  the 
centre.  He  walked  boldly  forward  with  an  expression  of 
triumph  on  his  features.  He  stood  upon  the  extreme 
platform  while  the  water  flowed  at  his  feet.  But  now  it 
flowed  the  other  way.  It  was  running  down  stream. 
Several  times  during  the  long  pause  that  ensued,  Nap  took 
out  his  handkerchief  and  rubbed  his  eyes.  He  then 
scrutinized  the  faces  of  his  friends. 

"What's   the  matter.  Nap?"    asked  Jack;    "you  are 

,le." 

«  God  knows,  Jack !     I  declare  to  you  most  solemnly 


264  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

that  I  saw  it  flowing  the  other  way,  in  the  opposite  direc- 
tion, and  up  stream." 

"I  don't  doubt  it,"  said  McD. 

*«  But  I  do  myself,  now,"  said  Nap,  after  another  fit  of 
abstraction.  "  I  must  have  dreamed  it.  I  saw  it  in  my 
sleep." 

<'  What  is  it  ?"  asked  a  policeman. 

"What's  up?"  asked  a  runaway  London  apprentice. 

"What's  the  row?"  demanded  a  Schuylkill  ranger. 

"  Gentlemen,"  said  Mac,  seriously,  to  the  crowd  of  out- 
siders, "we  are  from  the  West,  and  have  just  come  down 
here  to  look  at  the  Delaware  river?" 

"Just  to  look  at  the  river?"  cried  several. 

"  Yes.  It's  a  very  fine  stream,  isn't  it  ?  It's  broader, 
and  no  doubt  deeper  than  our  Ohio." 

"Sold!"  "Humbugged!"  cried  many  voices,  and  an 
immediate  dispersion  took  place  amid  loud  laughter.  No 
one  inquired  further  about  it.  Many  acquainted  with 
Mac,  supposed  the  whole  afi"air  was  merely  one  of  his 
pleasantries ;  and  of  course  they  had  no  desire  to  acknow- 
ledge themselves  the  victims. 

But  poor  Nap,  as  ignorant  of  the  theory  of  the  tides 
as  he  had  been  of  the  personal  appearance  of  a  monkey, 
seized  Jack's  arm  and  eff'ected  his  escape.  He  saw  from 
the  countenances  of  his  friends  that  he  was  doomed  to , 
be  reminded  of  the  utter  groundlessness  of  his  solemn 
asseveration.  Jack  intended  to  call  at  Messrs.  L.  G.  &  Co.'s, 
where  they  bought  their  books,  and  procure  a  work  on  the 
tides,  for  Nap's  special  benefit,  but  forgot  to  do  so.  And 
four  or  five  hours  afterward.  Nap,  who  had  wandered 
away  from  him,  returned  with  a  most  excited  countenance. 

"What's  the  matter  now.  Nap  ?" 

"Jack,  I've  been  down  there  again.  The  current's 
running  up  stream  now !  Come  with  me ;  I'll  show  it  to 
you!" 

"Nonsense,  Nap!"  said  Jack,  grown  weary  of  the  mat- 
ter.    He  then  explained  the  subject,  as  well  as  the  mys- 


OF  A   COUNTKY  MERCHANT.  265 

tery  of  the  seeming  annihilation  of  time  and  space  at  the 
telegraph  office. 

For  several  days,  Nap  kept  pretty  closely  to  his  hotel, 
and  resisted,  as  well  as  he  was  able,  the  importunities  of 
new  city  acquaintances  to  buy  more  goods.  It  was  in 
vain  he  assured  the  young  salesmen,  and  even  the  princi- 
pals of  very  good  houses,  that  he  had  already  bought  and 
shipped  as  many  goods  as  he  intended  to  send  home  when 
he  left  Missouri.  The  amount  of  the  bill,  they  declared, 
was  not  the  object ;  and  the  houses  that  seemed  so  perti- 
naciously to  solicit  his  custom,  desired  merely  to  have  his 
name  on  their  books,  with  a  view  to  future  operations. 

The  increasing  attentions  which  Nap  received,  at  length 
affected  his  mind.  He  began  to  think  that  he  must  be  the 
most  popular  country  merchant  then  in  the  city.  And  he 
could  only  attribute  this  gratifying  result  to  superior 
qualities  of  intellect  or  developments  of  person. 

But  the  secret  of  it  was,  that  Mr.  J.  H.,  the  Santa  Fe 
merchant  who  travelled  with  him  up  the  Ohio  river,  had 
assured  one  of  the  attaches  of  the  mercantile  agency  that 
Nap  had  not  only  an  ample  capital  invested  in  his  busi- 
ness, but  was  the  owner,  with  the  exception  of  a  few  lots, 

of  the  entire  town  of  Venice,  the  capital  of county. 

And  likewise,  just  at  that  time,  appeared  a  new  Gazetteer, 
containing  the  name  of  his  town,  and  of  the  county  of 
which  it  was  the  capital.  The  number  of  inhabitants  in 
Venice  was  omitted ;  but  the  county  was  described  as  one  of 
immense  resources,  and  the  town  as  being  advantageously 
located. 

The  mercantile  agency  therefore  booked  Nap  as  being 
A.  I.  No.  1.  And,  in  addition,  Mr.  — ,  who  had  been  to 
New  York  and  Boston,  had  represented  the  founder  of  the 
American  Venice  as  one  who  might  be  worth  perhaps  a 
half  million  of  dollars  at  some  future  time. 

Hence  it  was  that  Nap  received  so  many  kind  attentions, 
while  young  Handy  was  neglected,  in  comparison,  by  the 
many  individuals  to  whom  he  had  not  hitherto  been  intro- 

23 


26b  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURi:S 

duced.  Not  only  were  cards  and  circulars  showered  upon 
our  hero,  by  the  business  men  of  Philadelphia;  but  letters 
came  by  the  score  from  New  York  and  Boston,  with  press- 
ing invitations  for  him  to  visit  those  cities  before  returning 
home. 

A  young  gentleman,  by  the  name  of  Pike,  was  sent  over 
from  New  York,  expressly  to  make  his  acquaintance,  and 
to  induce  him  if  possible  to  accompany  him  back,  and 
establish  business  relations  with  the  great  house  he  repre- 
sented. 

This  was  too  flattering  an  instance  of  personal  kindness 
for  the  benevolent  heart  of  Nap  to  resist.  And  finding 
his  efforts  to  induce  Jack  to  bear  him  company  unavailing, 
he  determined  to  accept  Mr.  Pike's  invitation,  and  spend 
a  few  days  in  the  great  metropolis. 

He  was  in  the  finest  spirits  the  day  he  was  to  go  to  New 
York.  He  had  just  received  a  letter  from  Molly.  She 
did  not,  of  course,  say  she  would  accede  to  his  request  and 
marry  him  on  his  return  from  the  city;  but  she  addressed 
him  a  few  lines  because  she  had  promised  to  do  so,  and 
she  could  do  no  less  than  inform  him  of  her  continued  good 
health,  and  of  the  good  health  of  all  those  he  might  have 

an  interest  in  at  C .     Then  she  hoped  his  health  was 

good;  and  she  presumed  he  would  enjoy  his  visit  to  the 
city  very  much.  Finally,  she  warned  him  against  the  temp- 
tations of  her  own  sex,  knowing  his  susceptibility  to  new 
impressions,  particularly  at  first  sight.  Then  after  a  brief 
"Yours,  &c.,"  her  name  followed.  Nap  could  see  no  in- 
timation that  his  suit  had  been  granted  in  such  a  letter  as 
that.  There  was  nothing  in  it  new  or  interesting;  nothing 
worth  the  postage,  which,  however,  had  been  paid  by  the 
fair  writer.  But  there  was  a  brief  postscript,  viz.  "We  shall 
expect  to  see  you  again  on  your  way  back  to  Missouri." 

Now,  as  Nap  had  distinctly  stated  that  it  was  his  pur- 
pose to  return  to  Missouri  without  passing  through  Ken- 
tucky, unless  Molly  would  consent  to  marry  him,  it  was 
impossible  for  him  to  interpret  the  final  line  otherwise  than 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  267 

as  an  acceptance  of  his  offer.  Hence  his  fine  spirits.  He 
had  not  as  yet  distributed  his  money,  pro  rata,  as  he 
intended,  among  those  of  whom  he  had  purchased  his 
goods.  The  only  expenditures  he  had  as  yet  made  were 
for  his  board,  and  to  pay  the  premium  of  insurance  on  his 
goods.  And  now  he  determined  to  postpone  his  disburse- 
ments until  he  returned.  Uncle  Billy  warned  him  that  he 
would  need  some  of  his  funds  in  the  rival  city.  Nap  sup- 
posed not.  At  least  he  would  only  carry  with  him  the 
small  sum  of  fifty  dollars.  If  more  should  be  required,  he 
was  to  draw  on  the  Messrs.  R.  &  Co.  for  it. 

During  their  ride  through  New  Jersey,  Mr.  Pike  was 
assiduous  in  his  efi'orts  to  ingratiate  himself  in  the  con- 
fidence of  his  victim.  So  fine  a  bait  did  not  often  tempt 
a  Pike,  Mr.  Pike  was  one  of  those  salesmen  who  did  not 
receive  a  stipulated  salary.  But  he  got  more.  He  had 
two  and  a  half  per  cent,  on  all  the  bills  sold  to  customers 
of  his  introduction.  If  he  could  sell  Nap  ten  thousand 
dollars'  worth,  his  share  would  be  two  hundred  and  fifty 
dollars,  a  pretty  good  day's  work.  To  that  end  all  his 
talents  were  directed.  He  expatiated  on  the  policy  of  any 
one  having  the  means,  and  unlimited  credit,  overshadow- 
ing his  competitors  by  the  gigantic  stature  of  his  esta- 
blishment. He  had  been  in  Missouri  often.  He  had  seen 
merchants  selling  year  after  year  the  pitiful  amount  of  ten 
thousand  dollars'  worth  of  goods  without  diminution  or 
increase.  Then  one  bolder  than  the  rest  would  double 
his  purchases,  and  find  that  his  sales  increased  in  the 
same  proportion.  Large  stocks  attracted  people  from  a 
distance ;  and  when  a  new  town,  in  a  fine  county  lying 
along  the  river,  took  a  timely  start  in  the  race  of  improve- 
ment, it  was  sure  to  go  ahead.  All  the  little  villages  in 
the  interior  went  down,  while  it  went  up.  No  doubt 
Venice  would  soon  be  the  great  central  trading-point  for 
several  counties.  Small  traders  would  go  there  to  re- 
plenish their  stocks,  and  wagons  would  roll  in  from  a 
distance  loaded  with  produce,  and  always  return  iaden 


268  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

■with  goods.  He  was  convinced  that  from  fifty  to  seventy- 
five  thousand  dollars'  worth  of  goods  might  be  annually 
sold  in  Nap's  town. 

Nap  was  in  a  fitting  frame  of  mind  to  listen  to  such 
suggestions.  Several  merchants  in  Boonville  were  selling 
more  than  the  amount  stated,  and  Boonville  once  was  as 
insignificant  a  place  as  Venice.  If  he  could  increase  the 
amount  of  his  sales  to  forty  or  fifty  thousand  dollars,  he 
might  retire  from  business  in  a  few  years,  and  be  a  doctor, 
lawyer,  or  member  of  Congress. 

Mr.  Pike,  pursuing  the  subject,  and  knowing  that  Nap 
was  beginning  to  be  annoyed  in  his  county  by  several 
competitors  within  twenty  miles  of  him,  ventured  to  pre- 
dict that  if  Mr.  Wax  would  adopt  the  plan  of  the  success- 
ful merchants  before  alluded  to,  that  every  semblance  of 
competition  would  be  swept  away  in  six  months.  In  the 
first  place,  one  half  of  the  petty  establishments  bought 
their  goods  in  St.  Louis,  and  paid  twenty-five  per  cent, 
advance  on  Philadelphia  prices;  and  the  rest  purchased  in 
Philadelphia,  paying  at  least  fifteen  per  cent,  advance  on 
New  York  prices.  He  did  not  go  beyond  New  York ;  that 
was  the  fountain-head. 

Nap  remarked  he  had  been  assured  by  the  merchants 
in  Philadelphia,  that  there  could  be  no  material  difi'erence 
in  prices  between  the  cities. 

"You'd  believe  your  eyes  if  you  saw  a  difference, 
wouldn't  you?" 

"  Oh  yes,"  said  Nap  ;  ^'  though  I  have  lately  seen  some 
things  which  no  one  else  seemed  willing  to  credit." 

"  Well,  I  suppose  you  know  what  you  paid  for  Allen's 
prmts  ?" 

"Yes,  eleven  cents.  They  have  risen  lately.  The  job- 
"bers  make  only  a  half-cent  a  yard,  for  I  saw  the  bills  that 
came  from  Messrs.  F.  L.  &  Co.,  Allen's  agents." 

"And  White  Rock  linseys?" 

"  Oh  yes,  I  paid  twenty-one  cents.  They  cost  twenty 
and  a  half.     I  saw  the  bills." 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  269 

"Very  well.  Now  we  seU  the  same  prints.  ^at-Jieu  cents, 
and  the  linseys  at  twenty." 

"Then  I  shall  buy  some  of  you.  But  it  is  most  asto- 
nishing that  the  merchants  should  make  such  misstate- 
ments.    I  never  do  it  at  home." 

"  Interest — self-interest ;  it  leads  one  to  the  very  devil !" 

Mr.  Pike  did  not  deny  that  his  house  paid  quite  as  much 
as  the  others  for  their  prints  and  linseys.  Nor  did  he 
deem  it  necessary  to  admit  that  he  was  in  the  habit,  as 
many  are  in  all  the  cities,  of  offering  leading  staples  at 
less  than  cost,  with  an  intention  of  piling  the  lost  per 
cent,  on  "something  else;"  and  which  intention,  in  such 
cases,  is  almost  invariably  accomplished.  Mr.  Pike,  at 
the  same  time,  was  conscious  of  having  done  such  things, 
and  of  a  deliberate  purpose  to  repeat  them  upon  Nap. 

They  put  up  at  the  Irving  House.  A  crowd  of  two  and 
a  half  per  cent,  salesmen  immediately  surrounded  our 
hero.  They  were  introduced  by  Mr.  Pike,  who  said  in 
all  candour,  that  he  was  not  only  desirous  of  selling  Mr. 
Wax  all  he  could  himself,  but  was  likewise  anxious  for  him 
to  buy  of  his  friends.  This  was  quite  true.  And  Mr. 
P.  knew  that,  by  an  "arrangement,"  he  would  be  entitled 
to  a  share  of  the  commission  if  Nap  made  a  bill  with  any 
of  the  houses  where  he  might  be  instrumental  in  intro- 
ducing him. 

It  must  not  be  supposed  the  house  represented  by  Mr. 
Pike  belonged  to  the  better  class  of  New  York  establish- 
ments. The  men  of  business  there  are  classed  precisely 
as  they  are  in  other  cities.  But  the  house  of  Messrs. 
Block  &  Tackle,  whose  most  energetic  salesman  was  Mr. 
Pike,  was  a  very  large  concern,  and  did,  if  Mr.  Pike's 
veracity  was  not  to  be  doubted,  a  business  of  a  million  a 
year.  And  yet  a  certain  Wall-street  broker  could  have 
testified  that  the  partners  commenced  business  only  a  few 
years  previously,  with  the  diminutive  capital  of  $17,500. 
The  houses  of  established  reputation  and  of  ample  capital 
did  no  boring.     They  had  no  representatives  authorized 


270  LIFE  AND  ADVENTURES 

to  thrust  themselves  upon  strangers.  Their  salesmen  were 
quite  as  polite  and  kind  in  their  attentions  to  their  cus- 
tomers, as  gentlemen  should  be ;  and  generally  they  were 
gentlemen.  But  when  a  stranger  desired  to  transact  busi- 
ness with  them,  they  invariably  required  a  satisfactory  re- 
ference. They  did  not  send  to  the  <' agency"  to  learn  the 
standing  of  those  with  whom  they  had  no  acquaintance. 

Nap  was  tempted,  and  yielded.  So  great  had  become 
the  influence  of  his  friend  Pike,  that  he  seemed  to  be 
wholly  subject  to  his  will.  They  had  visited  all  the 
lions  in  company,  and  some  of  the  lionesses  and  tigresses. 
They  ate  and  drank  and  smoked  together.  Nap  had  been 
persuaded  to  clothe  himself  anew  from  head  to  foot,  con- 
sulting exclusively  his  friend  Pike's  superior  taste.  He 
had  even  bought  new  rings  and  chains  and  a  watch  of 
Pike's  selection:  on  the  latter  there  was  a  margin  for  a 
commission  of  no  less  than  twenty  dollars.  All  of  which 
were  paid  for  by  drafts  on  Messrs.  E.  &  Co.  The  name- 
less luxuries  were  settled  for  by  Pike.  Nap  was  not  per- 
mitted to  defray  (directly)  any  portion  of  the  expense. 

Even  the  complexion  of  our  hero  improved  under  such 
pampering,  and  his  hands  were  beginning  to  grow  tender 
and  become  smooth.  It  was  with  an  inexpressible  sa- 
tisfaction that  he  now  surveyed  himself  in  his  new  and 
fashionable  habiliments,  standing  before  the  magnificent 
mirrors  of  the  Irving  saloons.  So  great  a  change  had  not 
often  been  wrought  in  so  short  a  period.  And  as  he 
called  to  mind  the  time  when  he  started  out  on  his  adven- 
tures with  only  the  paltry  sum  of  $500  in  his  pocket,  he 
could  not  avoid  contrasting  his  humble  circumstances  in 
the  wilds  of  Missouri  with  his  present  lofty  condition  in 
the  metropolis  of  America.  Now  servants  flew  hither 
and  thither  at  his  nod,  and  even  anticipated  his  slightest 
desires.  His  clothes  were  brushed  every  hour  in  the  day ; 
his  boots  were  always  like  mirrors ;  and  he  was  put  to 
sleep  under  the  process  of  being  shaved.  He  had  a  lofty 
and  gorgeously  furnished  chamber  to  himself,  containing 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  271 

a  fountain  of  sparkling  water  that  ran  whenever  he  touched 
a  plated  tube ;  a  flame  of  brilliant  gaslight  when  he  turned 
a  screw  ;  ice,  soap,  and  snowy  towels.  His  curtains  were 
of  silk  and  lace ;  his  sofa  and  chairs  were  covered  with 
plush,  and  Brussels  carpet  w^as  under  his  feet.  His  bed 
was  of  down,  and  his  pillow-slips  were  ruffled  and  per- 
fumed. Whether  or  not  he  still  snored  in  his  sleep  he 
had  no  opportunity  of  knowing,  for  no  one  dared  to  disturb 
him,  or  ventured  to  intimate  that  they  had  been  disturbed 
by  him.  Surely  such  accommodations  as  these  were  in 
marked  contrast  to  those  he  had  been  accustomed  to  in 
his  own  humble  abode  on  the  dreary  banks  of  the  "  mad 
Missouri." 

Nap,  unmindful  of  the  good  advice  he  had  received  in 
Philadelphia,  was  n'ow  thoroughly  convinced  that  the  tide 
of  his  affairs  was  at  the  flood,  which  he  resolved  should  be 
"taken"  without  delay.  And  Mr.  Pike  sold  him  goods, 
as  he  supposed,  some  ten  or  fifteen  per  cent,  under  the 
prices  he  had  paid  for  similar  articles.  But  there  were 
only  three  or  four  descriptions  of  goods  in  the  whole  pur- 
chase upon  which  Nap  could  institute  a  comparison.  He 
did  not  bring  his  invoices  from  Philadelphia  ;  but  as  Allen's 
prints.  White  Rock  linseys,  and  Laurel  D  brown  muslins 
were  lower  at  Messrs.  Block  &  Tackle's  store  than  in  the 
Philadelphia  houses,  every  thing  else,  in  his  opinion,  must 
be  proportionally  cheap.  And  so  he  went  to  work  and 
bought,  he  knew  not  how  many  goods,  without  his  memo- 
randum-book. He  then  visited  the  houses  of  Mr.  Pike's 
friends,  where  other  descriptions  of  goods  were  kept,  and 
operated  with  them  all  very  liberally. 

Pike  stimulated  him  all  he  could.  He  told  him  repeat- 
edly that  no  money  would  be  wanted,  except  an  insignifi- 
cant sum  to  pay  the  premium  of  insurance  for  the  safe 
transportation  of  the  goods,  and  they  were  all  to  be  en- 
tered on  the  policy  of  Messrs.  B.  &  T. 

At  length,  and  it  was  no  long  time  either,  Nap  sup- 
posed he  had  made  purchases  enough.     The  goods  were 


272  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

shipped,  and  the  invoices  collected.  Then  our  hero  trem- 
bled. Upon  summing  up,  he  found  that  his  New  York 
bills  amounted  to  $30,000 !  For  these,  without  scarcely 
knowing  what  he  was  doing,  for  it  would  have  been  pu- 
sillanimous, after  enjoying  so  great  a  display  of  magnifi- 
cence, to  let  fall  an  expression  of  regret,  or  doubt  of 
ability  to  meet  his  engagements,  he  signed  notes  payable 
in  bank  at  St.  Louis.  He  then  drew  on  Messrs.  R.  &  Co. 
for  some  $600  to  pay  for  insuring  the  safe  transmission 
of  his  New  York  goods  to  Venice. 

Then  they  ceased  to  overwhelm  him  with  kind  attentions. 
They  were  sociable  enough  still,  but  not  so  pertinaciously 
vigilant  in  friendly  offices  as  they  had  been.  Other 
victims  demanded  their  attention.  This  one  had  been 
<'put  through,"  and  they  had  no  further  use  for  him  until 
his  bills  should  mature.  Nap,  obtuse  as  he  was,  perceived 
the  change,  and  immediately  returned  to  Philadelphia. 
He  presented  himself  unexpectedly  before  Handy,  in  his 
room,  where  there  happened  to  be  assembled  a  number  of 
Western  acquaintances. 

«'  Well,  Nap,"  said  Jack,  "  Uncle  Billy  was  right.  He 
predicted  they  would  induce  you  to  buy  something  or  other 
in  New  York ;  and  he  tells  me  they  have  paid  Messrs. 
B.  &  T.  some  $600  on  your  account." 

"If  he  bought  $600  worth  of  goods  from  that  house," 
said  Mr.  S.  from  Arkansas,  who  was  in  the  habit  of 
dividing  his  purchases  between  the  cities,  "I'll  bet  two  to 
one  he  paid  fifty  dollars  more  for  them  than  the  same 
would  cost  at  other  houses  in  the  same  street." 

"  How  easily  I  might  win  your  money,"  said  Nap, 
smiling.  "But  you  have  lost  enough  already  in  not  buy- 
ing all  your  dry-goods  there.  I  paid  ten  cents  for  Allen's 
prints,  twenty  cents  for  White  Rock  linseys,  and  seven 
and  a  quarter  cents  for  Laurel  D's." 

"There  !     I  told  you  so  !"  exclaimed  S. 

"You  thought  you  were  luymg^''  said  Mac,  "but  you 
have  been  regularly  sold.'' 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  273 

■    "  How  SO  ?     Have  you  bought  them  for  less  ?" 

"  Oh  no ;  I  paid  more.  And  they  paid  more.  Hence 
I  know  they  put  the  profit  on  other  things." 

t'Did  you  buy  any  thing  else,  Nap  ?"  asked  Jack. 

"  Certainly,  I  went  my  'pile'  on  such  a  table  as  that." 

"Yes,  and  you  « went  it  blind,'  or  I'm  a  Dutchman!" 
said  Mr.  S.  of  Arkansas. 

"  And  he'll  be  called,  I'm  afraid,  when  he'll  have  no- 
thing worth  showing,"  said  Jack. 

"Don't  be  uneasy,  Jack,"  said  Nap,  still  smiling;  but 
he  did  not  smile  long. 

Jack  proceeded  to  inform  him  that  his  friends  then  pre- 
sent had  assembled  in  his  room  for  the  purpose  of  discuss- 
ing a  matter  in  which  he  was  deeply  interested.  In  con- 
sequence of  a  rumour  being  spread  over  the  city  that  Nap 
was  the  proprietor  of  a  whole  town  in  Missouri,  they 
learned  an  impression  had  gone  abroad  that  he  possessed 
unlimited  wealth,  and  hence  he  had  been  for  a  day  or  so 
the  subject  of  conversation  in  mercantile  circles.  Know- 
ing his  means  were  limited,  and  that  his  credit  might  ulti- 
mately sufier  from  such  representations,  they  had  met  to- 
gether as  common  friends  to  consult  with  Handy  upon  the 
propriety  of  counteracting  such  a  misapprehension  in  his 
absence. 

"But,  Nap,"  continued  Jack,  very  seriously,  "I  have 
learned  since  tea  that  the  mercantile  agency  has  rectified 
the  mistake  to-day,  and  they  have  appended  to  the  in- 
formation they  had  previously  received,  that  the  town  of 
Venice  is  in  a  marsh,  and  would  not  bring  a  thousand  dol- 
lars at  auction." 

"And  that  would  be  no  bad  speculation,"  said  Nap, 
"for  the  ground  cost  me  only  fifty." 

This  produced  much  laughter. 

"I  hope,  Nap,"  said  Jack,  "you  have  not  represented 
it  differently,  and  then  the  matter  will  die  away  quietly. 
But  if  you  had  made  extensive  purchases  while  induc- 
ing the  people  to  believe  your  town  was  very  valuable,  I 


274  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

don't  know  if  they  might  not  have  prosecuted  you  for 
obtaining  goods  under  false  pretences." 

"  I  have  never  said  a  word  about  the  value  of  the  town 
to  any  man,  woman,  or  child  !" 

"  I  am  glad  to  hear  it.  But  it  did  seem  to  me  that  the 
borers  pursued  you-with  more  vigilance  than  any  of  the 
rest  of  us.     Have  they  not  treated  you  very  kindly  ?" 

"Like  a  lord.  I  supposed  all  were  treated  so.  I 
wasn't  to  blame.     But" 

"But  what,  Nap?" 

"  I'm  afraid  I  have  bought  too  many  goods." 

"Your  purchases  here  amounted  to  about  five  thousand 
dollars,  which  did  not  seem  to  be  out  of  the  way.  The 
siex  hundred  dollars  worth  bought  in  New  York  won't  affect 
you  materially." 

"Six  hundred  dollars  worth  !"  exclaimed  Nap,  drawing 
Messrs.  Block  &  Tackle's  invoice,  consisting  of  seven  large 
foolscap  sheets,  from  his  carpet-bag. 

"Eighteen  thousand  dollars!"  cried  Jack,  looking  at 
the  foot  of  the  bill,  and  turning  pale. 

"  Oh,  that  ain't  all  I"  said  Nap,  drawing  forth  other  in- 
voices. 

"  And  here's  a  silk  house  bill,"  continued  Jack,  "  amount- 
ing to  thirty-five  hundred  dollars  !  Why,  Nap,  your  en- 
tire silk  bill  ought  not  to  be  over  five  hundred  !" 

"It's  done  now,"  said  Nap. 

"  Yes,  done  for  !"  said  Mr.  G. 

"I  couldn't  help  it,"  said  Nap;  "they  pressed  me  so 
much.  But  if  they  sold  me  every  thing  low  enough, 
perhaps  I  can  realize  a  profit  and  pay  for  them  at  ma- 
rurity." 

"Never!"  said  Handy. 

A  brief  examination  of  the  invoices  soon  satisfied  the 
party  that  Nap  had  fallen  into  bad  company.  It  was  quite 
apparent  that  he  had  been  charged  most  unchristian  prices 
for  nearly  all  the  goods.     The   leading  articles  invoiced 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  275 

below  the  usual  rate,  did  not  amount  to  more  than  three 
per  cent,  of  Messrs.  B.  &  T.'s  bill ! 

«'  I  will  sell  them  for  cost  and  carriage,"  said  Nap,  <«if 
I  can't  do  better." 

"  It  won't  do  I"  said  Jack.  "I  hope  you  didn't  promise 
to  pay  for  them  under  a  year  or  eighteen  months  ?  Let 
me  see  how  you  closed  the  bills.  Look !  he  has  signed 
negotiable  notes,  payable  in  four  and  six  months  in  bank  !" 

"Negotiable?  What  do  you  mean  by  that?"  asked 
Nap,  reading  for  the  first  time  the  receipts  appended  to 
the  bills.  As  for  the  notes  themselves,  he  did  not  read 
one  of  them  at  the  time  of  signing. 

"It  means  that  they  must  be  paid  on  the  days  of 
maturity,  or  be  protested.  And  if  protested,  bankruptcy 
and  ruin  may, follow  immediately." 

"  Ha !  You  don't  say  so  ?  And  you  think  they  won't 
wait  on  me,  if  I  pay  them  interest  ?" 

"Not  if  they  think  there  is  any  danger  of  your  break- 
ing." 

"But  there  will  be  no  danger.  I  can  make  the  money 
out  of  the  goods.     I  promised  to  be  punctual,  though." 

"I'm  sorry  for  it,  Nap.  Mr.  R.,  who  has  had  forty 
years'  experience  in  his  transactions  with  Western  men, 
advised  me  never  to  promise  any  thing  positively  and 
unconditionally.  He  says,  not  one  in  a  thousand  can  and 
will  comply  strictly  with  a  promise  to  pay  a  certain  sum 
at  a  certain  time.  When  a  correspondent  writes  him  he  will 
remit  two  thousand  dollars  on  the  first  day  of  October, 
it  is  a  safe  calculation  to  rely  upon  receiving  twelve 
hundred  about  the  middle  of  November.  This  is  a 
Western  trait,  which  we  must  acknowledge  does  exist. 
Now  instead  of  being  able  to  raise  thirty  thousand  dollars 
in  four  and  six  months,  I  venture  to  say  you  cannot  realize 
the  fourth  of  it  in  twelve  and  eighteen." 

"Then  what  am  I  to  do?" 
<     "  You  should  have  thought  of  all  this  before  you  ven- 
tured to  engage  in  such  gigantic  operations.     I  do  not 


276  LIFE  AND  ADVENTURES 

know  what  to  advise,  unless  it  be  to  offer  the  goods  in 
payment,  acknowledging  your  inability  to  pay  for  them,  and 
apologizing  for  being  induced  to  buy  them.  That  would 
convince  all  that  your  motives  were  not  bad,  though  your 
judgment  was  certainly  defective.  To-morrow  we  will 
consult  Mr.  E.,  and  confess  all." 

"  I'll  do  whatever  you  advise,  Jack.  I  begin  to  feel 
uncomfortable.  You  got  me  out  of  a  scrape  in  Kentucky, 
and  I  hope  you  will  be  as  successful  here.  But  the  goods 
are  on  the  way  home ;  they  are  on  the  lake  by  this  time. 
I  have  been  a  great  fool !" 

"I will  do  all  I  can  for  you.  Nap,"  said  Handy;  "but 
this  is  a  more  serious  matter  than  the  other.  No  doubt 
that  fish  of  prey — what's  his  name  ? — Pike — was  much  to 
blame.  He  knew  you  were  inexperienced  and  impulsive, 
and  the  temptation  to  prey  upon  such  game  was  too  strong 
to  be  resisted.  But  the  goods  might  be  stopped  at  Detroit 
or  Chicago.  Instructions  could  be  transmitted  by  tele- 
graph. They  must  be  stopped,  Nap.  IJow  will  you  be 
able  to  pay  the  freight  and  charges  on  such  an  enormous 
amount?" 

<'  I  couldn't  raise  the  money.  I  never  thought  of  that. 
What  a  fool !     What  a  fool !" 

The  next  day  they  held  a  consultation  with  Mr.  R.  and 
several  other  experienced  merchants.  They  coincided 
with  Handy,  and  the  houses  in  New  York  were  instantly 
telegraphed  on  the  subject.  They  replied  that  it  would  be 
time  enough  to  take  back  the  goods  when  Nap's  notes  were 
protested;  and  in  the  mean  time  they  would  institute 
measures  to  secure  themselves  against  loss.  Thus  Nap's 
Philadelphia  creditors  became  interested  in  the  result. 
And  as  it  seemed  that  no  satisfactory  adjustment  could  be 
made  with  the  New  York  houses,  Nap  proposed  to  sign 
any  instrument  of  writing  which  might  secure  the  Phila- 
delphians  against  ultimate  loss,  and  which  should  be 
deemed  legal  and  honourable  by  his  friends.  It  was  done. 
And  then  poor  Nap  was  threatened  by  the  other  creditors. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  277 

They  wrote  him  that  if  he  did  not  give  them  satisfactory 
security,  they  would  prosecute  him  for  obtaining  goods 
under  false  pretences.  He  knew  they  could  not  prove  a 
criminal  intention,  by  truthful  witnesses ;  but  as  the 
penalty  was  ignominious  incarceration,  if  found  guilty  by 
false  swearing  or  otherwise,  he  became  dreadfully  alarmed, 
and  even  proposed  to  abscond.  This,  of  course.  Jack  would 
not  listen  to ;  for  that  would  be,  in  the  estimation  of  some, 
an  evidence  of  guilt.  The  poor  fellow  declared  he  was 
the  most  miserable  man  in  existence;  and  he  certainly 
was  not  happy. 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 


Nap  falls  into  the  hands  of  Mr.  De  Coy — He  visits  a  "hell"  out  of 
curiosity — He   wins — He    goes    again — He    loses — Escapes — Nap   is 

.  tempted  to  marry  a  rich  old  maid,  but  is  mistaken — He  resolves  to 
apply  for  an  office — Calls  upon  Colonel  Benton,  who  gives  him  good 
counsel — Nap  sees  the  President — He  sees  the  Secretary,  and  gets  a 
promise. 

It  was  during  this  exacerbation  of  Nap's  evil  star,  that 
a  Mr.  De  Coy  proposed  one  of  those  schemes  by  which 
many  a  fortune  has  changed  hands.  Mr.  De  Coy  was  a 
flashy  gentleman,  who  had  contrived  to  become  acquainted 
with  our  hero  about  the  time  that  rumour  designated  him 
as  a  rich  man — the  proprietor  of  a  whole  town.  So  polite 
was  he  on  all  occasions,  so  assiduous  in  his  agreeable 
attentions,  so  deferential  in  his  conversation,  and  so  obliging 
m  his  trivial  favours,  that  Nap's  heart  was  completely 
won ;  and  in  a  very  brief  space  of  time  a  friendship  of 
the  most  unreserved  description  subsisted  between  them. 
Nap,  however,  had  hitherto  omitted  to  inform  his  fine 
friend  of  his  distracting  reverse  of  fortune  and  unpleasant 
prospects. 

24 


278  LIFE  AND    ADVENTURES 

"Napoleon,"  said  De  Coy  one  evening,  as  they  sat  to- 
gether on  the  balcony  of  the  hotel,  enjoying  the  fine  cigars 
which  the  flashy  gentleman  had  furnished,  "why  the  devil 
do  you  go  about  from  city  to  city  buying  goods  ?" 

"  Pike  prevailed  on  me  to  do  it.  I  am  sorry  enough 
lor  it  now!"  Nap  supposed  his  friend  had  heard  the 
news. 

"  I'm  glad  to  hear  you  say  so.  I  would  not  be  a 
merchant.  The  drudgery  must  be  a  great  bore.  I  hate 
any  sort  of  business  that  keeps  one  from  enjoying  life  at 
all  times." 

"  I  do  too.  But  then  it  is  necessary  to  make  money 
before  one  can  spend  it.  Enjoying  life  as  you  do  here 
must  require  a  very  large  fortune." 

"  Large  fiddlestick  !  You  have  enough  for  half  a  dozen 
men.  What  do  you  think  is  the  amount  I  spend  per 
annum  ?" 

"  Oh,  some  five  thousand  a  year,  I  suppose." 

"  Say  ten." 

"  Then,  if  that  is  your  income,  your  fortune  must  be 
some  hundred  and  sixty  or  seventy  thousand." 

"Not  that  many  cents." 

"  The  deuce  you  say." 

"I  say  it — and  it  is  as  I  say." 

"  Then  where  does  your  spending-money  come  from  ?" 

"From  Dame  Fortune's  bank,  which  is  open  to  all." 

"  I  wish  her  ladyship  would  permit  me  to  have  access 
to  her  vaults  just  about  this  time,"  said  Nap,  with  a 
sigh. 

"No  doubt  she  would.  But  then  you  don't  stand  in 
need  of  her  aid.  It  is  diJOferent  with  me.  To-morrow  I 
shall  have  use  for  a  five  hundred  or  so,  and  to-night  I  shall 
go  to  the  bank  and  get  it.  Would  you  not  like  to  see  the 
operation?" 

"  Oh  yes,  if  it  be  not  a  robbing  operation.  The  banks, 
they  say,  are  closed  in  the  evening." 

"  Not  those  that  supply  me.     The  paying-tellers  place 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  279 

the  funds  in  my  hand  in  the  presence  of  the  proprietors, 
and  before  a  score  of  witnesses." 
.    «  They  cash  your  checks  ?" 

"They  cash  my  cards." 

"  Now  I  understand.  They  pay  when  you  win.  I'm 
told  such  banks  in  the  city  have  large  capitals." 

"  Very  large.  I  shall  break  one  of  them  some  of  these 
days." 

<' Nights,  you  mean.     But  do  you  always  win?" 

"  Nearly  always.  A  bold  better  generally  gains.  Will 
you  go,  and  look  on?  There  will  be  no  necessity  for  you 
to  play  or  bet." 

"Yes!"  said  Nap,  desperately. 

It  was  not  a  long  walk.  Nor  did  they  leave  the 
fashionable  street.  The  signal  was  responded  to,  and 
Nap  was  introduced  into  one  of  the  most  magnificent 
saloons  he  had  ever  beheld.  Some  fifteen  or  twenty  well- 
dressed  individuals  were  betting  at  different  tables,  in  the 
gorgeously  illuminated  room,  and  heaps  of  glittering  gold 
dazzled  the  eyes  of  our  needy  hero.  He  did  not  propose 
to  bet,  however.  All  his  funds,  with  the  exception  of 
some  fifty  dollars,  reserved  to  pay  his  travelling  expenses 
back  to  Missouri,  had  been  disbursed. 

De  Coy  began  with  an  eagle.  It  won.  Both  eagles 
were  suffered  to  remain,  and  both  won.  With  but  little 
shifting,  and  but  few  losses,  he  continued  to  bet  on  several 
favourite  cards,  and  did  not  withdraw  any  of  his  gains 
until  they  had  accumulated  to  a  considerable  amount,  and 
quite  as  m,uch  as  he  had  proposed  drawing  from  the  bank 
on  that  occasion. 

"Now,"  said  he,  deliberately  taking  possession  of  the 
money,  "I'm  at  your  service.  Nap.  Let  me  see,"  he 
continued,  looking  at  his  watch.  "  I  have  detained  you 
just  twenty  minutes.  I  must  apologize  for  consuming  so 
much  of  your  time.     We  will  withdraw,  if  you  please." 

"No,  I'm  in  no  hurry.  This  is  a  very  interesting 
sight." 


280  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"It  is  better  than  selling  goods  for  a  living." 

"  If  one  could  always  win,  as  you  did.  Why  didn't  you 
let  the  money  remain  ?  I  observed  that  you  would  have 
■won  again,  and  doubled  the  whole  amount." 

"  Oh,  I  left  it  for  the  next  time.  But  if  you  desire  to 
try  your  luck,  I'll  wait  for  you.  No  doubt  you'll  win ;  but 
if  you  lose,  it  will  amuse  you.  The  excitement  is  worth 
paying  for." 

"  I  believe  I  will  follow  in  your  footsteps.  I  have  an 
eagle  in  my  pocket." 

Nap  did  follow  in  his  footsteps,  and  even  went  beyond 
them.  For  in  less  than  thirty  minutes  he  had  won  a 
thousand  dollars  !  V'  '^  ^^ 

"De  Coy,"  said  he,  his  face  flushed,  and  his  forehead 
perspiring,  "this  will  do  for  me,  too,  to-night.  Fortune 
is  kind  to  us.     We  are  lucky  dogs." 

"  Well,  quit  if  you  are  tired.  But  let  us  refresh  our- 
selves." 

"I  see  them  drinking  wine  over  yonder.  I  am  the 
largest  winner,  and  must  be  your  entertainer.  What  will 
you  have?" 

"  You  pay  nothing  here.  No  one  pays.  The  bank  that 
supplies  us  with  gold,  furnishes  every  thing  else  free  of 
cost.     Call  for  any  thing  you  please,  and  it  will  appear." 

It  was  as  he  said.  '  They  regaled  themselves  with  divers 
costly  luxuries,  and  no  pay  was  demanded.  Then,  still 
adhering  to  his  purpose,  Nap  retired  to  his  hotel  accom- 
panied by  De  Coy,  w^lio  repeatedly  assured  him  that  they 
might  have  easily  won  forty  thousand  dollars  if  they  had 
persisted  in  playing  the  bold  game.  The  hold  game  was 
the  only  way  to  win.  Nap  believed  him,  and  they  agreed 
to  break  the  bank  the  next  night. 

The  next  morning,  Jack  found,  at  Messrs.  R.  &  Co.'s 
ofl&ce,  a  letter  from  Joseph,  containing  a  supplemental 
order  for  goods.  His  business  was  increasing  rapidly  at 
Tyre,  and  it  was  deemed  necessary  to  have  more  goods 
Bent  out  than  he  originally  intended.      This  would  detain 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  281 

Jack  several  days  longer,  and  he  now  determined  to  visit 
New  York  himself,  as  much  for  the  purpose  of  making  tho 
acquaintance  of  some  of  the  merchants  as  to  purchase 
goods.  But  instead  of  being  introduced  by  the  Pikes  and 
Sharks  of  the  trade,  he  procured  letters  of  introduction 
from  Mr.  R.,  Mr.  C,  and  Mr.  T.,  to  some  of  the  best 
houses  in  the  city.  This  service  is  always  willingly  per- 
formed by  the  merchants  of  high  standing  in  any  of  the 
cities. 

Nap  was  invited  to  accompany  him ;  but  he  promptly 
declined  it.  He  had  had  enough  of  New  York.  He 
hoped  never  to  see  the  city  again,  and  could  wish  never  to 
hear  it  mentioned  more.  And  so  he  remained  at  his  hotel. 
But  he  was  not  happy  with  his  late  acquisition  in  his 
pocket,  nor  much  cheered  at  the  prospect  of  further  gains. 
He  felt,  somehow,  as  if  the  money  so  easily  obtained  did 
not  of  right  belong  to  him ;  but  rather  as  if  he  had  taken 
it  unobserved  from  the  counter  of  some  bank. 

De  Coy  adhered  to  him  during  the  day,  and  strove  to 
cheer  him  up  when  his  spirits  seemed  to  droop.  And  he 
intimated  that  when  it  was  meditated  to  break  a  bank,  one 
ought  not  only  to  brace  his  nerves  to  play  boldly,  but  he 
should  be  furnished  with  a  strong  capital  himself.  These 
hints  were  thrown  out  when  they  were  walking  in  the 
vicinity  of  Messrs.  R.  &  Co.'s  establishment,  whither  Nap 
was  going  to  ascertain  if  any  letters  had  come  for  him. 
Nap  made  no  reply  to  De  Coy's  hint ;  perhaps  he  was 
thinking  of  other  matters.  De  Coy  would  not  enter  the 
counting-room  with  him,  but  remained  without  upon  some 
pretext  or  other,  not  doubting  his  victim  would  act  upon 
his  advice  and  replenish  his  finances. 

In  the  counting-room.  Nap  had  the  mortification  of  meet- 
ing with  Mr.  Pike,  who  was  there  for  the  purpose,  as  he 
said,  of  making  an  <' arrangement"  with  him.  His  saluta- 
tion Avas  cold.  His  smile  was  gone,  and  in  its  place  was  a 
menacing  expression.  Nap,  for  once  in  his  life,  met  the 
threatening  gaze  without  quailing.     He  was  growing  des- 

24* 


282  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

perate,  because  he  considered  himself  already  ruined,  and 
ruined  by  Mr.  Pike. 

Mr.  Pike  had  consulted  with  Nap's  creditors  in  Phila- 
delphia, and  of  course  they  would  not  now  come  to  any 
agreement  for  the  especial  accommodation  of  the  houses 
he  represented  in  New  York.  Their  plan  had  been 
rejected.  And  Nap  had  voluntarily  signed  an  instrument 
which  would  effectually  guard  them  from  loss.  Mr.  Pike 
desired  Nap  to  return  with  him  to  New  York,  and  have  a 
conversation  with  his  creditors  there.  But  he  had  been 
too  well  advised  to  be  caught  in  such  a  trap  as  that.  If 
they  intended  to  proceed  against  him  as  they  had  threat- 
ened, they  must  first  exhibit  some  evidence  of  his  criminal 
intentions.  Until  that  were  done,  they  had  no  power  to 
molest  him  in  Pennsylvania,  where  his  friends  and  wit- 
nesses dwelt. 

<<Why  the  mischief  didn't  you  tell  me  your  humbug 
town  was  worth  nothing?"  asked  Pike,  when  Nap  refused 
to  go  with  him  to  New  York. 

"  I  would  have  told  you  all  about  it,  if  you  had  asked 
me.  I  did  not  know  that  j^ou  were  ignorant  of  the  value 
of  my  property  in  Venice." 

"  What,  then,  did  you  suppose  made  me  so  anxious  to 
sell  you  goods,  if  it  were  not  that  I  believed  you  to  be  a 
man  of  capital?" 

"I  thought  it  w^as  your  friendship  for  me." 

"Friendship  for  a  stranger  !" 

"Why,  you  introduced  yourself,  and  seemed  to  be  as 
familiar  as  a  brother." 

"  It  is  my  business  to  sell  all  the  goods  I  can  to  good 
men." 

"Yes,  and  to  get  all  jou  can  from  new  men.  You 
charged  me  ten  per  cent,  too  much  for  most  of  the  mer- 
chandise." 

" If  you  knew  that,  why  did  you  buy?" 

"  I  didn't  know  it  at  the  time.     I  was  a  novice.     But  if 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  283 

you  didn't  know  I  was  good  for  my  contracts,  why  did  you 
sell  me?" 

<'I  thought  I  knew  it,  but  was  deceived." 

"  And  I  thought  you  were  selling  me  goods  at  honest 
prices,  but  was  cheated  !" 

"  Something  must  be  done,  Mr.  Wax ;  and  it  is  not  ne- 
cessary to  use  reproachful  language,"  said  Pike,  wincing 
under  the  retort. 

"I  shall  do  all  in  my  power  to  pay  my  debts,"  said 
Nap. 

<'  No  doubt.  And  I  have  a  plan  which  would  satisfy  all 
parties.  Let  one  or  two  men  be  appointed  to  receive  the 
proceeds  of  your  sales,  and  distribute  them  pro  rata  among 
the  creditors." 

"And  what  shall  I  do?" 

"Sell  the  goods." 

"And  let  your  agent  receive  the  money?" 

"Yes." 

"I  won't  do  it." 

"But  you  must  do  something  to  satisfy  us." 

"It  was  upon  your  tempting  representations  that  the 
goods  were  bought ;  and  it  was  in  consequence  of  your 
urgent  solicitation  that  I  bought  so  many.  I  did  wrong 
ignorantly — you  have  not  the  same  justification,  for  you 
knew  such  an  amount  of  merchandise  ought  never  to  be 
taken  to  a  country  store.  I  shall  do  the  best  I  can  with 
the  goods.  I  will  sell  them  at  a  profit,  if  possible,  and  pay 
for  them  when  my  notes  mature,  if  I  can.  That's  all  I 
will  promise." 

"  That  won't  satisfy  us." 

"  Then  you  may  go  to  the  devil !  The  goods  are  bought, 
shipped,  and  settled  for.  You  were  very  eager,  I  thought, 
to  have  my  signature  to  the  notes.  Well,  I  signed  them. 
Now,  as  I  am  advised,  you  can  have  no  demands  against  me 
until  they  mature,  and  the  less  you  annoy  me  in  the  mean 
time,  the  better  it  will  be  for  all  parties.  I  intend  to  go 
home  and  divide  the  goods,  sending  portions  of  them  to 


284  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

diflferent  points ;  and  perhaps  I  will  sell  some  of  them  at 
auction  to  realize  money." 

<« We'll  stop  that!  We'll  get  out  an  injunction,"  said 
Pike,  in  great  excitement. 

<'You  can't  do  it,  sir!"  said  Mr.  R.,  who  had  been  a 
silent  auditor.  "  You  were  to  blame  for  selling  him  the 
goods  under  the  circumstances ;  and  if  he  sees  proper  to 
avail  himself  of  the  laws  of  his  State,  he  can  keep  you 
from  realizing  any  of  the  money  for  eighteen  months. 
And  rather  than  make  any  sacrifices,  I  would  advise  him 
to  do  so." 

"I  am  informed,"  said  Pike,  with  some  humility,  "that 
if  he  were  to  scatter  the  goods,  and  attempt  to  run  them 
off,  we  can  stop  him." 

"If  you  can  prove  a  fraudulent  purpose,"  said  Mr.  R. 
"  But  that  you  can  never  do  in  Missouri,  where  he  is  known 
to  be  an  honest  man.  From  the  outrageous  prices  you 
charged  him  for  many  articles,  it  would  be  no  difficult 
matter  for  him  to  prove  fraud  against  you.  We  intend  to 
send  out  a  friend  to  invoice  the  goods  he  bought  of  you  at 
the  market  rates,  and  that  is  all  you  will  recover.  You 
may  send  a  man  also,  if  you  like." 

"If  he  does,  his  friend  had  better  get  his  life  insured," 
said  Colonel  T.,  from  the  southern  part  of  the  State,  who 
sat  by.  "  If  the  folks  in  Missouri  learn  how  you  have 
treated  Nap,  and  no  doubt  the  news  will  be  spread  over 
several  of  the  Western  States  in  a  few  weeks,  they  might 
handle  your  man  rather  roughly." 

"When  the  notes  mature,  if  he  is  not  able  to  pay," 
continued  Pike,  "w^e  can  take  possession  of  the  assets." 

"  You  can  do  no  such  thing.  You  can't  even  get  judg- 
ment, unless  you  reduce  your  demands  to  the  standard  of 
justice.  And  even  then,  by  giving  security,  he  may  put 
you  off  a  whole  year." 

"  But  can  he  give  security?" 

"  He  can,  if  it  be  necessary."  Mr.  R.  was  emphatic, 
and  Mr.  Pike  withdrew,  foiled  and  dispirited,  and  con- 


OF  A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  285 

vinced  that  it  was  not  always  safe  to  deal  unjustly  even 
with  Western  novices. 

Nap,  finding  no  letters,  returned  to  his  hotel.  On  his 
way  up  Chestnut  street,  he  was  joined  by  his  smiling 
friend,  De  Coy,  who  had  never  ceased  to  watch  the  door  of 
Messrs.  R.  &  Co.'s  establishment.  He  was  one  of  the 
most  accomplished  "strikers"  or  "barkers,"  as  they  are 
called,  in  the  employ  of  the  "hells;"  but  he  likewise  did 
not  always  realize  the  full  extent  of  his  expectations  from 
the  "green  ones"  he  introduced  into  the  jungle  of  the 
tigers. 

If  Nap  had  confided  the  occurrence  of  the  night  before 
to  any  of  his  friends,  he  would  not  have  returned  to  the 
faro-bank.  But  the  first  wrong  step  taken  is  ever  apt  to 
be  followed  by  others.  Whichsoever  way  a  man's  face  is 
turned,  thitherward  his  walk  is  likely  to  be  directed.  And 
if  he  travel  the  road  to  ruin,  every  step  brings  him  nearer 
to  destruction.  De  Coy  had  warned  him  against  breathing 
a  syllable  in  regard  to  their  operations  until  they  had 
broken  the  bank.  He  said  if  their  intentions  were  known, 
the  bank  might  adopt  measures  to  defeat  their  purpose, 
or  other  persons  might  forestall  them  and  carry  off 
the  treasure. 

At  the  appointed  time  they  repaired  to  the  gilded 
"hell,"  and  were  met  with  smiling  faces  by  the  demons. 
Every  luxury  for  the  palate  which  money  could  buy  was 
spread  before  them  ;  while  paintings  and  prints,  decorating 
the  walls,  contributed  to  stimulate  the  evil  resolutions  of 
the  unwary  beholders. 

De  Coy,  as  on  the  previous  night,  was  the  first  to  bet ; 
and  again  he  won,  but  not  quite  so  uniformly  as  before. 
Once  all  his  gains  were  swept  away ;  but  then  he  doubled 
his  venture,  and  recovered  them. 

Nap's  impatience  to  realize  at  least  enough  to  pay  his 
New  York  creditors  could  brook  no  longer  delay.  So  he 
put  down  five  hundred  dollars  on  a  single  card,  and  won ! 
He  continued  to  win  until  his  gains  still  on  the  table,  and 


286  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

Still  hazarded,  amounted  to  several  thousand  dollars. 
Then  he  paused,  under  the  influence  of  a  sudden  impulse 
which  prompted  him  to  seize  what  he  had  won,  and  retire  for 
ever  from  a  place  where  his  money  was  subject  to  the 
chances  of  fortune  or  the  knavery  of  the  dealer.  His 
hesitation  was  marked,  and  probably  his  purpose  was  un- 
derstood ;  and  before  he  could  put  his  intention  in  execu- 
tion, an  adverse  card  was  turned  up,  and  all  his  treasure 
on  the  table  had  vanished.  He  grew  pale,  and  then  almost 
blind.  But  recollecting  how  De  Coy  had  retrieved  his 
loss,  he  immediately  put  down  all  the  money  he  had  with 
him,  having  held  a  sum  in  reserve  which  he  proposed 
taking  away  with  him  under  any  circumstances.  He  was 
not  aware  that  such  intentions  are  impracticable  in  such 
places.  He  ventured  all.  That  was  playing  the  bold 
game,  and  the  bold  game,  as  he  had  been  instructed,  was 
the  one  with  which  to  break  the  bank.     He  lost  it ! 

<^  Napoleon,"  saidDe  Coy,  <' remember  your  name.  That 
is  a  mere  trifle.  Don't  be  agitated.  Do  as  I  did.  It  is 
the  way  here.  When  you  are  in  Rome,  do  as  the  Romans 
do." 

<«And  when  you  are  in  Turkey,  do  as  the  turkeys  do," 
said  one  of  the  spectators. 

Nap  had  done  it  already,  and  was  done  for.  He  had 
lost  his  all,  and  stood  rooted  to  the  floor,  staring  in  con- 
sternation at  the  witnesses  of  his  ill  luck,  who  were  evi- 
dently prepared  to  see  him  launch  out  thousands. 

"  Why  don't  you  bet — and  bet  largely  ?"  asked  De  Coy. 

«'Will  you  lend  me  some  money?"  asked  Nap. 

"Lend  you?     Why  you  are  not  a  loser." 

"  Only  fifty  dollars,"  said  the  banker. 

"Fifty,  besides  what  I  won  last  night,"  said  Nap. 

"Well,"  continued  De  Coy,  "What  of  that?  Did  you 
not  bring  other  funds  to  bet  ?" 

*^No!" 

"You  didn't?  But  you  have  other  funds  to  draw 
upon?" 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  28T 

^<No!" 

"You  have  a  town,  and  unlimited  credit. 

"No.  My  town  has  only  about  a  dozen  inhabitants, 
and  would  not  bring  under  the  hammer  as  much  money  as 
I  have  lost  to-night.  I  was  taken  in  and  led  astray  in  New 
York.  I'm  a  ruined  man,  and  that's  the  reason  I  came 
here.     I  wanted  to  win  money — I  had  none  to  lose." 

"Is  that  true?"  asked  De  Coy,  confronting  his  victim 
with  ill-suppressed  rage,  and  looking  him  steadily  in  the 
eye. 

"  It  is,  upon  my  honour." 

"  I've  spent  more  than  fifty  dollars  of  the  bank's  money 
on  you,  or  on  your  account,  which  is  the  same  thing. 
And  so  you  are  a  humbug,  are  you  ?" 

"I  suppose  so,  if  you  thought  me  rich." 

"  The  deuce  !     What  do  you  propose  doing  now  ?" 

"I  don't  know.  I  wish  you  would  advise  me.  The 
bank  scheme  is  a  failure.  Is  there  not  something  else 
you  can  suggest?" 

"  Yes.     Follow  me  I" 

Nap  did  so  intuitively,  and  they  entered  a  small  room 
but  dimly  lighted  and  miserably  furnished. 

"Here,"  said  De  Coy,  "is  the  last  remedy;  and  I  ad- 
vise you  to  make  use  of  it  at  once,  and  be  relieved  of  your 
distress.  It  is  an  infallible  specific,  and  has  cured  thou- 
sands." 

"What  am  I  to  do  with  this?"  asked  Nap,  staring  at  a 
pistol  which  De  Coy  thrust  into  his  hand. 

"Blow  your  brains  out." 

"I'll  be  hanged  if  I  do!" 

"  No  you  won't.  But  you  may  be  hanged  if  you  don't. 
Fire  away !  I  want  to  see  you  disposed  of.  I  like  to 
have  the  witnesses  against  me  put  themselves  out  of  the 
way.  Dead  men  tell  no  tales.  Why  don't  you  blow  your 
brains  out?" 

am  bed dif  Ido!" 

«  Of  course  you  will." 


288  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"Then  I  shan't  do  it!" 

"  You  shall !     If  you  don't,  I'll  do  it  for  you." 

"  No,  sir !  I'm  a  coward,  I  confess,  when  there  seems  to 
be  a  possibility  of  escaping  danger.  But  when  it  comes  to 
this,  that  I  must  either  kill  myself  or  my  enemy,  I  find 
that  I  am  cool  and  dangerous.  If  you  but  crook  your 
finger,  I'll  blow  your  brains  out !  I'll  tell  my  tab,  and 
the  sympathy  of  the  public  will  be  on  my  side.  So  be- 
ware !  They  w^ill  not  hang  me  for  killing  a  gambler  who 
confesses  to  have  been  a  party  to  acts  of  suicide,  and  who 
threatens  to  kill  me  if  I  refuse  to  kill  myself." 

De  Coy,  if  he  did  not  regard  the  words  of  his  victim, 
believed  his  looks ;  and  they  said  Nap  might  execute  his 
threat.  He  believed  likewise  that  the  act  would  have  the 
approbation  of  the  public ;  and  being  really  a  coward  him- 
self, he  endeavoured  to  change  his  tone  and  laugh  lightly, 
assuring  our  hero  that  it  was  all  a  joke. 

<■(•  That  may  be,"  said  Nap,  "but  I  am  not  in  the  mood 
to  enjoy  it.  Open  that  door  in  the  rear,  and  proceed 
down  the  back  way  before  me.  I  shall  follow,  and  will 
not  take  my  eyes  away  from  you  until  we  are  in  the  street. 
Obey,  or  I  fire.  My  nerves  never  were  more  steady  in  my 
life."  This  was  true,  and  Nap  was  much  surprised  at  his 
own  coolness.  The  "striker"  obeyed.  Nap  dismissed  him 
at  the  door  of  the  hotel,  and  then  shut  himself  up  in  his 
room,  a  prey  to  his  own  reflections.  He  did  not  snore 
much  that  night.  No  position  in  his  bed  could  induce  re- 
freshing slumber  to  visit  his  unquiet  couch. 

He  tumbled  about  on  his  pillow,  and  groaned  repeat- 
edly in  agony  of  spirit.  He  had  been  assured  that  his 
numerous  purchases  would  ruin  him,  and  he  believed  it. 
How  was  it  possible  for  him  to  realize  even  cost  for  his 
goods,  after  paying  the  expenses  of  transportation,  in  the 
time  stipulated?  The  prospect  was  cheerless.  He  felt 
convinced  that  exorbitant  prices  had  been  charged,  and 
he  was  sure  a  great  many  costly  articles  had  been  added 
which  he  had  not  selected,  and  which  were  not  adapted  to 


OF  A    COUNTRY  MEllCHANT.  289 

the  wants  of  his  customers.  On  these,  enormous  sacrifices 
would  have  to  be  made.  It  was  true,  as  Pike  had  been 
told,  he  might  keep  his  creditors  at  bay  some  eighteen 
months,  and  in  the  mean  time  dispose  of  a  portion  of  the 
stock  at  the  usual  prices ;  but  then,  ultimately,  interest 
must  be  paid  on  all  the  notes  from  the  day  they  matured. 

Whichsoever  way  he  launched  his  thoughts,  the  result 
was  the  same — unhappiness.  And  all'because  he  had  failed 
to  remember  and  follow  the  advice  of  one  whose  experi- 
ence during  a  long  series  of  years  was  entitled  to  profound 
respect.  Poor  Nap  even  doubted  whether  Molly  would 
keep  her  engagement  with  him,  when  she  heard  of  his 
fatal  imprudence,  if  she  had  not  heard  it  already.  He 
felt  convinced  that  her  father  would  not  now  consent  to 
the  match.  And  if  Molly  refused  him,  he  could  not  be 
sure  that  Polly  would  take  another's  "leavings."  Mise- 
rable man  !  He  felt  tempted  to  marry  a  pious  old  maid 
whose  acquaintance  he  had  made  at  the  dinner-table  of 
the  hotel,  and  who  was  said  to  be  rich.  This  was  a  pale 
and  thin  pattern  of  maidenly  propriety,  who  boarded  at 
the  hotel,  and  almost  invariably  sat  at  the  table  with  the 
gentlemen.  She  had  become  quite  sociable  with  our  hero ; 
but  her  conversation  was  generally  on  religious  subjects, 
or  rather  in  condemnation  of  irreligious  practices.  Upon 
sitting  down,  she  always  bowed  her  head  forward  and 
mutely  prayed,  instead  of  briefly  giving  thanks — a  practice 
much  indulged  in  by  the  uninformed.  But  when  there 
were  no  strangers  to  mark  her,  and  but  few  persons  sit- 
ting in  her  vicinity,  she  made  short  orisons.  At  a  full 
table,  and  when  many  eyes  were  on  her,  she  bowed  very 
low,  and  remained  long  in  silent  prayer.  She  prayed 
thus,  most  innocently,  and  surely  without  being  aware  of 
it,  to  make  an  exhibition  of  her  piety  to  the  company  pre- 
sent. If  the  One  to  whom  her  prayers  were  due  remained 
unthought  of,  it  was  not  to  be  supposed  that  any  such  dis- 
respect was  intended. 

Miss  Pucker  and  Nap  had  agreed  very  well  on  all  the 

26 


290  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

subjects  discussed  between  tliem.  He  had  accompanied 
her  to  church  twice,  and  she  had  intimated  a  hope  that 
her  Western  friend  might  become  a  member  of  the  de- 
nomination to  which  she  belonged.  Matters  stood  thus, 
"when  it  occurred  to  our  hero  that  in  the  event  of  his  being 
rejected  by  both  Molly  and  Polly — a  thing,  now  that  luck 
was  against  him,  he  thought  by  no  means  improbable — he 
might  win  the  hand  and  fortune  of  Miss  Pucker.  Then  he 
would  bid  adieu  to  the  West,  and  to  the  drudgery  of  busi- 
ness pursuits. 

Hence,  after  his  night  of  troubles,  he  dressed  with  more 
care  than  usual,  thinking  he  might  meet  the  lady  at  the 
breakfast-table.  He  was  not  disappointed  in  his  expecta- 
tion. She  was  sitting  before  a  plate  opposite  to  his,  with 
a  newspaper  in  her  hand,  which  she  perused  with  such  in- 
tensity as  to  be  incapable  of  observing  Nap's  salutation. 
He  bowed  twice  without  making  any  impression  on  her, 
so  absorbing  was  her  abstraction.  And  when  she  placed 
the  paper  beside  her  plate,  and  completed  a  secret  prayer 
of  unusual  prolongation,  poor  Nap,  who  supposed,  per- 
haps, she  had  been  praying  for  him,  was  doomed  to  meet 
with  no  better  success.  Her  eyes  were  studiously  averted 
in  some  other  direction.  She  would  not  deign  to  bestow 
the  slightest  notice  on  him,  until  he  addressed  her  by 
name.  Then,  without  moving  her  thin  lips,  she  handed 
him  the  paper.  The  secret  was  revealed.  There  was  a 
paragraph  giving  an  imperfect  account  of  his  operations 
in  New  York.  His  name  was  not  mentioned,  but  his 
person  was  described. 

"I  suppose.  Miss  Pucker,"  said  Nap,  "you  have  been 
told  who  this  refers  to  ?" 

She  looked  in  another  direction,  and  would  not  hear 
him.  She  had  resolved  to  cut  him,  and  she  did  it  in  a  de- 
cided way,  before  the  charitable  company  then  present.  In 
truth,  she  was  a  fortune-hunter  herself,  and  had  hoped  to 
share  Nap's  reputed  wealth. 

Nap  was  deeply  wounded,  and  the  blood  rushed  into  his 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  291 

face.  But  a  moment  after,  Miss  Pucker  was  forgotten. 
Another  idea  had  flashed  across  his  mind.  His  eye  had 
fallen  upon  a  paragraph  of  news  from  Washington,  in 
which  it  was  stated  that  a  land-office  was  about  to  be 
established  in  his  county,  and  that  Colonel  Benton  had 
proposed  Venice  as  the  most  eligible  point  for  its  location. 
Nap  at  once  resolved  to  apply  for  the  appointment  of 
receiver  or  register.  He  thought  there  could  be  no 
doubt  of  his  getting  it.  If  the  government  placed  the 
office  in  his  town,  he  felt  that  he  was  entitled  to  demand 
the  best  situation  in  it.  So  he  hastened  into  Market 
street,  and  procured  enough  money  to  defray  his  expenses 
to  Washington  and  back  again  to  Philadelphia,  where  he 
was  to  remain  until  Handy  returned  from  New  York. 

Upon  reaching  Washington  he  called  immediately  upon 
Colonel  Benton,  who  gave  him  a  cordial  reception.  But 
the  statesman's  brow  darkened  somewhat  ominously  when 
Nap  explained  the  object  of  his  visit  to  the  federal  city. 

"What  claims  have  you?"  asked  the  Colonel. 

« I'm  a  Whig,  but" 

<' Being  a  Whig  might  not  prevent  you  from  getting  an 
appointment  under  this  Democratic  administration,  I  sup- 
pose, since  so  many  others  have  succeeded;  but  upon 
what  grounds  do  you  apply,  aside  from  being  a  Whig?" 

"  I  wouldn't  vote  for  General  Scott,  because  I  thought 
some  great  statesman  of  long  experience,  such  as  Clay, 
Webster,  or  Fillmore,  should  have  been  nominated.  It  is 
true,  I  didn't  vote  for  the  other  candidate  either,  because 
I  didn't  like  the  'heads  or  tails'  game  by  which  he  was 
nominated.  But  then  my  example  and  influence  caused 
other  Whigs  to  withhold  their  votes  from  Scott,  and  in 
that  manner  I  aided  to  elect  Pierce." 

<«Bah!  You  don't  understand  me  yet.  What  I  mean 
by  claim  or  ground  is  not  what  you  may  have  done  for 
the  successful  candidate.  He  is  now  the  President.  The 
election  is  over ;  and  of  course  he  has  forgotten  to  whom 
he  is  indebted  for  his  success.     Such  a  thing  as  gratitudo 


292  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

in  politics  was  never  heard  of.  That  is  not  the  ground 
upon  which  appointments  are  made." 

"Then,  Colonel,  what  is  the  inducement?" 

"  Inducement !  That  comes  nearer  the  mark.  That  is 
a  good  word.  Do  you  not  conceive  ?  He  desires  to  be  a 
candidate  again.  Can  you  aid  him?  If  so — if  you  can 
convince  him  of  it — your  business  is  done :  you  will  get 
the  appointment.  Remember  that  Presidents,  and  their 
Cabinet-ministers,  are  oblivious  of  the  past.  They  reward 
services  to  he  performed,  or  rather  contract  to  pay  for 
them;  but  they  rarely  settle  for  benefits  voluntarily 
conferred,  because,  in  such  instances,  there  are  no  quid 
pro  quo  stipulations.  The  question  with  them  is,  What 
good  can  he  do  us,  if  we  appoint  him  ?  or  Wliat  injury 
can  he  inflict^  if  we  disappoint  him  ?  Will  you  recollect 
this?" 

"Yes ;  I  can  recollect  it.  But  I  don't  see  what  good  1 
can  do  the  President  hereafter." 

"  Who  do  you  intend  to  vote  for  at  the  next  Presidential 
election  ?" 

"  I  intend  to  vote  for  you,  Colonel.  But  when  you  are 
elected  you  mustn't  be  an  abolitionist.  You  say  there  is 
no  such  thing  as  gratitude  in  politics ;  but  hang  me  if  there 
isn't  such  a  thing  in  private  life.  You  have  always  been 
my  friend ;  and  I  haven't  had  very  many  in  this  world. 
You  advised  me  to  buy  the  land  and  lay  off  the  town  of 
Venice.  It  cost  me  some  fifty  dollars ;  and  before  I  left 
home  I  could  have  sold  the  vacant  lots  for  a  thousand. 
Still  I've  been  unfortunate."  Nap  then  confided  to  him 
his  unlucky  speculation  in  merchandise,  while  the  Colonel 
listened  and  wrote  alternately. 

"You  have  been  unfortunate,  sir.  It  can  do  you  no 
harm  to  tell  me  of  it.  But  be  careful  not  to  mention  it  to 
the  President.  It  would  defeat  your  application,  sir,  even 
supposing  there  was  a  possibility  of  your  getting  the  ap- 
pointment. One-half  the  fools  who  apply  for  assistance  come 
with  tales  of  misfortune,  ill-health,  or  distress  of  some  kind. 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MEECHANT.  293 

and  petition  for  office  to  relieve  them.  I  never  heard  of 
such  applicants  being  successful.  What  can  invalids  and 
paupers  accomplish  for  presidential  aspirants  ?  Sir,  they 
are  dead  cocks  in  the  pit !  They  are  of  value  only  to  the 
buzzards.  No !  the  applicant  who  is  undaunted,  confident 
of  his  powers  to  enhance  the  pretensions  of  the  President 
seeking  a  re-election,  and  who  has  the  courage  to  menace 
the  incumbent  if  he  don't  grant  his  request,  is  far  more 
apt  to  succeed  than  the  poverty-stricken  beggar.  Charity 
may  be  given  from  one's  private  purse ;  but  there  is  no 
virtue  in  bestowing  alms  from  the  public  treasury.  Here, 
sir,  I  have  written  a  brief  application  for  you,  and  signed 
my  name  to  it.  Get  all  the  Missourians  in  the  city  like- 
wise to  sign  it,  and  then  call  upon  the  President  in  person. 
But  no  begging,  sir — remember  that." 

Nap  withdrew,  knowing  there  were  a  great  many  others 
awaiting  an  audience  in  the  antechamber  of  the  great  man. 
He  found  no  difficulty  in  getting  signatures,  after  the 
Colonel  had  signed  his  application.  Neither  did  he  meet 
with  difficulty  in  finding  access  to  the  President.  For 
when  he  rang  at  the  door,  and  was  told  by  the  porter  that 
it  was  Cabinet-day,  and  consequently  no  one  could  see  the 
President,  he  replied  boldly  that  he  must  and  would  see 
him,  and  that  he  bore  a  letter  from  Colonel  Benton  to  him. 
The  name  of  Colonel  B.  staggered  the  porter.  Porters  at 
the  White  House  hear  a  great  deal,  if  they  have  good  ears. 
And  what  this  one  may  have  heard  the  President  or  those 
in  his  confidence  say  in  relation  to  the  importance  of 
granting  Colonel  B.'s  requests,  or  otherwise  conciliating 
him,  if  possible,  it  would  be  difficult  to  conjecture.  Never- 
theless, after  a  brief  hesitation,  the  door-keeper  ran  up 
stairs  and  whispered  that  there  was  a  gentleman  below 
with  a  letter  from  Colonel  Benton.  The  effect  was 
tremendous.  The  council  was  adjourned.  A  file  of 
secretaries  came  out,  brushing  past  Nap,  and  some  of  them 
apparently  scowling  at  him.  He  looked  them  bravely  in 
the  face,  remembering  his  instructions. 

25* 


294  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

The  Cabinet-ministers  were  followed  by  the  porter,  who 
said  the  President  would  see  Mr.  Wax  immediately.  Nap 
followed  him  up  the  broad  stairs,  and  without  pausing  at 
any  of  the  anterooms  on  the  left,  boldly  entered  the  office 
of  the  chief  executive  officer  of  the  United  States.  His 
hand  was  cordially  shaken,  and  he  was  kindly  invited  to 
sit  down  in  a  commodious  chair  luxuriantly  cushioned. 
The  President  himself  took  possession  of  one  with  a  leathern 
bottom  and  a  rickety  frame.  But  General  Jackson  used 
to  sit  in  it. 

"  You  have  a  letter,  I  believe  ?"  said  the  great  function- 
ary in  a  mild  tone  and  with  a  sweet  smile. 

"Not  exactly  a  letter,  either,"  said  Nap,  taking  the 
document  from  his  hat,  "  but  it  is  folded  like  one.  Here 
it  is,  sir ;  and  I  hope  it  will  be  successful." 

The  President  received  it.  Instantly  he  recognised  the 
handwriting,  and  his  attention  was  fixed.  But  an  ex- 
pression of  disappointment  spread  over  his  face  when  he 
saw  the  nature  of  its  contents. 

"This  is  an  application  for  an  appointment,"  said  he. 
«I  presume  you  are  the  Mr.  Wax  ?" 

"  Yes,  sir  ;  and  I  hope  it  will  be  convenient  for  you  to 
appoint  me." 

"  I  must  send  you  to  the  Secretary.  He  takes  charge 
of  all  applications.  Yours,  you  may  be  assured,  backed 
as  you  are  by  men  of  such  high  standing,  will  receive  due 
consideration." 

"  Thank  you,  sir.  Will  you  please  to  tell  me  where  I 
can  find  the  Secretary  ?  I  am  in  a  prodigious  hurry,  and 
must  leave  the  city  in  a  few  hours,  and  return  to  Phila- 
delphia." 

"  You  will  find  him  in  the  Treasury  building.  Any  one 
will  show  you.  But  sit  still  with  me  a  moment.  Perhaps 
you  can  give  me  some  information  in  relation  to  the 
condition  of  things  in  your  State.  I  cannot  understand 
how  the  parties  are  divided ;  but  I  see  Whig  Representa- 
tives coming  here  from  Democratic  districts." 


OP   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  295 

"The  Loco  Focos,"  said  Nap,  "are  divided  into  two 
parts — the  Hards  and  the  Softs.  The  Hards  are  the  ori- 
ginals— all  bullion  and  Benton  men.  The  Softs  are  the 
paper-money  or  bank  men,  slightly  tinctured  with  the  old 
nullification.  Sometimes  they  are  called  Rottens.  But 
old  Bullion  is  a  host  himself;  and  where  one  Loco  Foco 
turns  rotten,  two  Whigs  grow  hard." 

"I  must  confess  your  elucidation  does  not  make  the 
matter  quite  plain  to  me.  In  New  York  we  have  Hards 
and  Softs,  but  the  significations  are  very  diff'erent.  There 
the  Hards  do  not  hold  opinions  assimilating  with  Colonel 
B.'s." 

"  Oh,  they  stole  the  names  from  him,  but  did  not  have 
the  sense  to  comprehend  his  meaning.  Every  thing  he 
originates  is  stolen  by  somebody.  Texas  was  his  thunder, 
but  the  Tylerites  stole  it.  The  great  Pacific  Railroad  is 
his  thunder,  and  they  are  trying  to  steal  that  too." 

"  He  has  his  troubles.  But  why  do  you  call  the  Demo- 
crats Loco  Focos?     The  Whigs  do  that." 

"I'm  a  Whig." 

"You  a  Whig?" 

"That  is,  I  used  to  be." 

"And  you  come  here  an  applicant  for  ofiice  ?" 

"  Certainly.  You  have  members  of  your  Cabinet  who 
were  Whigs ;  ministers  abroad,  comptrollers  and  auditors, 
collectors  and  postmasters.  What  difference  does  it 
make  ?" 

"Oh,  none,  if  you  are  a  Democrat  now.  You  voted  for 
— Did  you  support  Scott?" 

"No,  sir!     I'm  opposed  to  generals." 

"But  one  was  elected,"  said  the  President,  smiling. 

"Not  much  of  a  one.  You  had  not  been  a  military 
man  all  your  life.  I'll  be  candid.  I  didn't  vote  for  you, 
either.  I  was  neutral,  and  caused  other  Whigs  to  stay  at 
home.  I  did  not  like  the  way  in  which  you  were  nomi- 
nated. It  looked  like  the  convention  was  selling  the  ofiice 
to  the  highest  bidder — and  truly  its  members  have  been 


296  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

rewarded.  But  you  had  never  been  heard  of  as  a  candi- 
date. Indeed,  the  nation  had  forgotten  there  was  such  a 
man  living ;  perhaps  a  large  majority  never  knew  such  a 
person  ever  existed.  It  was  like  a  king  dying  without 
children,  and  being  succeeded  by  some  cousin  from  another 
country,  who  had  never  been  looked  upon  as  the  heir  ap- 
parent. I  condemn  all  conventions,  because  they  never 
nominate  the  men  the  people  want  to  elect.  They  are 
sure  to  pass  over  the  names  of  the  great  statesmen  who 
have  served  the  country  all  their  lives.  Excuse  me,  sir :  I 
speak  to  you  as  I  do  to  other  people." 

"  Oh,  certainly,"  said  the  President,  rather  dryly.  "But 
who  is  your  man  for  the  next  heat  ?" 

"  I  won't  lie.  I  am  for  Colonel  Benton,  first,  last,  and 
all  the  time.  I  owe  him  a  debt  of  gratitude.  He  made 
Missouri.  He  has  been  known  for  three-quarters — no, 
one-quarter  of  a  century,  as  the  greatest  senator  on  his 
side  of  the  house.  His  name  is  blazoned  all  over  the 
world,  and  his  speeches  in  every  document  in  the  archives. 
We'll  vote  for  him,  and  against  all  conventions.  We  Whigs 
needn't  try  to  elect  a  Whig  again" 

Here  he  was  interrupted  by  a  bow  from  the  President, 
which  he  couldn't  understand ;  so  he  sat  still,  and  nodded 
back  at  him. 

"Good  morning,  sir,"  said  the  President,  bowing  again 
and  rising. 

"Good  day,  sir,"  said  Nap,  bowing  once  more,  and  still 
sitting.  "  I  suppose  you  have  a  great  deal  to  attend  to. 
Shall  I  wait  here  till  you  come  back?"  he  added,  seeing 
the  President  about  to  withdraw  by  a  side  door  leading 
into  another  room. 

"No,"  was  the  reply,  and  the  next  moment  Nap  was 
alone.  After  remaining  thus  for  a  minute  or  so,  he  arose 
and  descended  to  the  grounds.  He  wound  his  way,  aided 
by  such  information  as  he  could  pick  up  in  the  streets, 
around  to  the  Treasury  building.  After  entering  the  pre- 
mises, he  wandered  about  a  long  time  before  he  could  find 


OP   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  297 

the  Secretary's  office,  because  the  directions  of  the  mes- 
sengers and  clerks  were  brief,  and  sometimes  conflicting. 

Arrived,  at  last,  at  the  door  of  the  important  func- 
tionary, our  hero  again  blundered  upon  the  right  means  of 
obtaining  instantaneous  admission.  He  said  to  the  door- 
keeper that  he  had  a  letter  from  Colonel  Benton  to  the 
Secretary.  Although  this  sub-official  person  had  just 
turned  away  high  revenue  functionaries,  and  even  a  Demo- 
cratic Governor,  yet  he  whispered  to  Nap  that  if  he  would 
stand  there  two  seconds  he  should  be  admitted.  He  va- 
nished and  returned  with  a  smile  of  success.  Nap  was 
ushered  in  abruptly,  and  invited  to  sit  down. 

The  Secretary  held  out  his  hand  to  receive  the  letter  he 
understood  Nap  was  the  bearer  of.  Nap  gave  him  the 
application.     He  read  it,  and  then  frowned  most  darkly. 

"Is  this  all?  Why,  sir,  there  are  the  B.'s,  the  S.'s, 
the  J.'s — to  say  nothing  of  Dr.  P.,  Colonel  M.,  and  some 
forty  others,  applying  for  the  same  office.  They  are  all 
known — you  have  never  been  heard  of  before." 

"  Does  that  make  any  diff'erence?"  asked  Nap. 

"I  think  it  ought." 

"Why,  sir,  the  President  had  never  been  heard  of  before 
he  was  nominated,  and  there  were  such  men  as  Buchanan, 
Cass,  and  Benton  applying.  And  you,  sir,  were  never 
known  very  extensively  before  you  got  this  appointment ; 
and  I've  no  doubt  many  distinguished  characters  were 
longing  for  the  place." 

"  This  is  extraordinary  language  for  one  who  is  seeking 
favours." 

"No,  I  don't  ask  it  as  a  favour." 

"Upon  what  plea  then  do  you  demand  it  ?" 

"  Colonel  Benton's  recommendation,  my  popularity  and 
influence  in  the  State,  and  my  interest  at  Venice." 

"I  will  file  yoiir  application,  sir,  with  the  rest." 

"  I  would  like  to  have  an  answer  before  I  leave,  if  pos 
sible." 

"It  is  hardly  possible." 


298  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"To  get  the  answer,  or  the  appointment?" 

"Either." 

"And  when  Colonel  Benton  recommends  me?" 

"  Colonel  Benton  is  not  omnipotent.  His  recommenda- 
tions are  not  always  successful." 

"But  I  must  have  the  office." 

"Why  must  you?" 

"Because  I  own  the  whole  town,  with  the  exception  of  a 
few  lots ;  and  if  you  don't  appoint  me,  I  won't  let  you  put 
the  office  there  at  all !" 

"  That  is  a  novel  inducement,  truly.  Is  not  Venice  the 
capital  of  the  county?" 

"  Yes,  sir  ;  and  I  am  absolute  there.  I  have  given  the 
county  a  lot  on  which  to  build  the  court-house.  At  pre- 
sent they  hold  the  court  in  Sam  Marsh's  barn." 

"In  a  barn!" 

"  On  the  bank  of  a  slough.  Piles  were  driven  down  in 
the  sand,  and  the  barn  was  built  on  them.  Underneath  is 
a  stable,  where  Sam  keeps  his  Jack ;  and  it  would  make 
you  laugh  to  hear  him  bray  sometimes  when  the  judge  is 
speaking.  This  year,  I  believe.  Squire  Nix  intends  to 
keep  his  stud  there" 

"Stud?" 

"  Yes,  Albany  Black,  the  largest  stallion  in  the  State. 
There  is  a  high  sandbank  near  the  barn,  behind  which  the 
pole  is  kept,  and  there  they  can't  be  seen  by  the  people 
coming  to  the  store." 

"Mr.  Wax,  where  were  you  from  originally?" 

"  I^entucky,  sir  !" 

"  Indeed !  Well,  sir,  I  am  much  engaged  now.  But 
hang  me,  if  you  shan't  have  the  office,  provided  my  influ- 
ence can  serve  you." 

"  Why,  the  President  sent  me  to  you.  All  you  have  to 
do  is  to  say  the  word." 

"  So  he  made  you  believe.  But  it  is  a  Presidential  ap- 
pointment. You  don't  understand  those  matters.  Rely 
upon  my  influence.     Good  day,  sir." 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  299 

"Farewell.  I  must  go.  I'll  tell  Colonel  Benton  you 
are  worth  a  dozen  penny  presidents." 

"Penny  presidents?" 

"Yes,  or  copper  ones.  I  mean  those  made  by  tossing 
up  a  copper — heads  or  tails — those  caught  in  the  game  of 
blindman's  buff  in  the  convention,  who  had  never  been 
heard  of  before." 

"You  mustn't  speak  that  way,  if  you  hope  to  be  the 
register  of  the  office." 

"  Oh,  I  only  do  it  to  you  in  confidence.  Good-bye." 
Nap  departed  abruptly,  without  having  felt  or  manifested 
any  of  the  awe  which  office-seekers  usually  evince  in  the 
presence  of  the  high  functionaries  to  whom  they  are  the 
humble  petitioners. 

He  called  upon  Colonel  Benton  again,  and  related  to 
him  all  that  had  occurred.  The  Colonel  laughed  very 
heartily  at  his  literal  narration,  and  told  him  it  was  by  no 
means  improbable  the  Secretary  w^ould  keep  his  word, 
because  the  novelty  of  the  application  could  not  be  easily 
forgotten.  But  he  said  nineteen  in  twenty  of  the  promises 
of  the  bestowers  of  official  patronage  were  sure  to  escape 
recollection.   It  had  always  been  so,  and  would  so  continue. 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 


Nap  and  Jack  return  to  Kentucky  via  Bullock's  inn — A  bridal-chamber 
prepared — Mr.  Brook  looks  coldly — Molly  has  taken  umbrage — A 
telegraphic  despatch,  and  a  cibange  in  Nap's  fortune — Mr.  Brook  is 
reconciled  to  the  match — But  Molly  won't  relent — Kate  grants  an 
audience  to  Jack — They  are  joined  by  a  third  person — The  General 
capitulates,  on  condition  that  Jack  will  never  be  a  demagogue. 

Nap  and  Jack  met  at  the  hotel  in  Philadelphia,  both 
having  returned  thither  on  the  same  day.  Handy  ex- 
hibited the  invoices  of  the  goods  he  had  bought  in  New 


300  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

York,  wliich  compared  very  well  with  the  Philadelphia 
purchases,  and  proved  that  Nap  had  paid  exorbitant  prices 
to  the  employers  of  Mr.  Pike.  They  proved,  likewise, 
that  there  were  fair  and  honourable  houses  in  the  great 
metropolis  as  well  as  elsewhere. 

Nap  then  confided  to  Jack  his  adventure  in  the  "hell," 
and  the  result  of  his  trip  to  Washington.  He  w^as  now 
out  of  money ;  and  as  he  did  not  like  to  draw  on  his  friends 
in  Market  street  for  more,  he  borrowed  of  Jack. 

The  young  gentlemen  then  hastened  to  complete  their 
final  arrangements,  and  the  next  day  they  were  in  the  cars 
rattling  westward.  No  incident  of  importance  occurred 
on  the  way,  until  they  landed  in  Kentucky,  and  put  up  at 
Mr.  Bullock's  inn. 

Handy  had  been  persuaded  to  accompany  his  friend  to 
Kentucky  and  see  him  married.  He  had  received  no  letter 
from  Kate,  nor  other  intimation  that  his  own  happiness 
might  be  promoted  by  the  visit,  save  in  the  meeting  of 
his  mother  and  friends.  But  he  was  willing  to  felicitate 
Nap  on  the  joyful  realization  of  his  hopes,  and  bide  his 
own  time,  truly  faithful  to  the  end,  and  as  patiently  as 
possible. 

<'  Good  morning  to  your  noses !"  said  Bullock,  on  re- 
cognising the  young  men.  "I'm  glad  to  see  you  back 
safe.  I've  hearn  tell  that  young  chaps  don't  often  get 
away  from  Fillymaclink  in  as  good  health  as  when  they 
enter  it." 

"  We  did,"  said  Jack.  "I  am  always  well,  and  Nap  is 
still  fat,  you  see." 

"I  do  see." 

"I'm  not  quite  as  heavy  as  I  was,"  said  Nap.  "My 
coat  is  not  so  tight,  and  I  am  paler." 

"You're  red  enough  yet,  and  big  enough  too.  But 
didn't  you  say  you  wasn't  coming  this  way  again  till  next 
year?" 

"  I'll  tell  you  a  secret,  Mr.  Bullock,"  said  Jack,  whisper- 
ing loudly  in  his  ear.     "  Can  you  keep  a  secret  ?" 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  801 

"I  can.  Sambo!"  said  he  to  his  negro  man,  who  was 
passing. 

"Massa,  d'you  speak  to  dis  one?" 

"I  did.     Sambo,  can  I  keep  a  secret?" 

"  To  de  day  ob  you  deaf.  Massa  wouldn't  tell  ef  his 
back  'oud  bust  open." 

<«  Clear  out,  you  rascal !"  said  his  master. 

<«Well,  Bullock,  Nap  has  come  back  to  get  married. 
He  intends  to  take  Molly  with  him  to  Missouri.  So  you 
may  look  for  us  to-morrow  evening,  and  have  a  bridal- 
chamber  in  readiness." 

«'  I'll  turn  my  old  ooman  out  of  the  love-chamber.  We 
always  call  it  love-chamber  since  we  slept  there  the  first 
night  after  we  were  tied  together.  She  shall  hang  up  the 
fine  curtains,  and  put  two  beds  in  it.  I  don't  mean  two 
separate  beds,  but  one  top  t'other,  so  as  to  make  it  soft 
laying  for  Nap,  who  is  fat  and  heavy.  And  I'll  have  a 
turkey,  as  well  as  ham  and  eggs ;  some  eggnog,  and,  if 
you  like,  a  shiveree" 

"  No !  none  of  that  nonsense,  Mr.  Bullock,  if  you  please," 
said  Nap. 

"I  won't,  then.  But  I  always  did  like  weddings.  They 
are  the  only  real  frolics,  because  they  last  all  your  life. 
But  sometimes  they  bring  aching  heads,  too !  Well, 
I'm  glad  you're  going  to  get  Molly.     I  always  liked  that 

gal,   but  her   dady's   a  hog.     I   know   now   you're 

getting  along  in  the  world.  Nap  ;  if  you  weren't,  old  Brook 
wouldn't  let  you  have  her.     I  know  him  well !" 

<'  That's  not  saying  much  for  Nap's  father-in-law,"  said 
Jack,  laughing. 

<«I  know  'tain't,  but  he  must  excuse  it,  for  it's  the  truth. 
No  matter ;  he  ain't  going  to  marry  the  old  man.  It's  the 
gal  he'll  have  to  do  with,  and  she's  a  plump  one." 

Nap  was  not  very  communicative.  His  thoughts  were 
not  felicitous,  for  he  could  not  be  sure  that  the  change  in 
his  circumstances  would  not  make  a  change  in  the  senti- 
ments of  both  the  father  and  daughter. 

26 


302  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

The  next  day  our  young  merchants  arrived  at  C ,  and 

were  affectionately  received  by  their  mothers.  After  the 
shaving  and  boot-blacking  were  completed,  which  they  per- 
formed themselves,  they  sought  interviews  with  their  re- 
spective mistresses. 

Nap  called  at  Mr.  Brook's  house  without  hesitation,  for 

when  he  left  C for  the  East,  a  few  weeks  before,  ho 

was  on  the  best  terms  with  the  whole  family.  This  time, 
however,  he  was  not  to  be  so  cordially  treated.  For  when 
Mr.  Brook  came  to  the  door,  he  looked  coldly,  and  even 
declined  the  proffered  hand  of  his  once  chosen  son-in-law. 

"  Why,  what's  the  matter,  sir?"  stammered  Nap. 

"  Come  in,  and  I'll  tell  you.  Our  merchants  heard 
strange  things  of  you  in  Philadelphia,"  he  continued,  when 
they  were  seated  in  the  parlour.  <' And  since  then,  the 
things  you  did  in  New  York  have  been  published  in  the 
papers.  Everybody  says  you  are  a  ruined  man ;  and  some 
declare  your  conduct  wasn't  honest." 

"It's  a  lie,"  said  Nap. 

"  Oh,  that  may  be — probably  the  last  part  is,  because  a 
man  needn't  be  dishonest  to  ruin  himself.  But  ain't  you 
ruined?" 

"  I  have  got  into  a  difficulty,  sir  ;  but  some  of  my  friends 
think  I  won't  lose  much  by  it.  Yet,  if  I  lose  all  I  have 
made,  so  I  give  up  every  thing,  the  Philadelphia  merchants 
have  promised  to  let  me  have  more  goods.  If  they  do,  I 
can  make  a  profit  on  them,  and  then  get  up  in  the  world 
again.  In  Missouri,  credit  is  as  good  as  capital,  when  one 
has  friends  in  the  East  who  know  him  to  be  honest." 

«'  That  may  be.  But  Molly  don't  marry  you  with  my 
consent.  She  can  do  better,  and  she's  a  dunce  if  she 
don't." 

Before  Nap  could  frame  a  reply  to  this  emphatic  speech, 
Molly  herself  entered,  and  silently  and  rather  coldly  gave 
the  tips  of  her  fingers  to  him. 

"No,  Nap,"  said  she,  "you  must  return  to  Missouri 
without  me.     But  I  do  not  refuse  you  because  you  have 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  303 

been  unfortunate;  and  I  am  ashamed,  sir,"  she  added, 
turning  to  her  abashed  parent,  "that  you  should  make 
such  an  excuse  for  withholding  your^  consent." 

"Then,  Molly,"  cried  Nap,  <Mvhy  won't  you  have  me? 
If  you  say  the  word,  we'll  be  married,  anyhow." 

"  I  will  not  say  the  word !" 

"  Good !  I'll  leave  you  to  settle  the  rest !"  said  Mr. 
Brook,  departing  to  spread  the  news  of  Nap's  rejection  by 
his  daughter. 

"  You  will  at  least  give  me  some  reason  for  the  change 
in  your  intentions." 

"Oh  yes  !"  said  she,  taking  a  letter  from  her  pocket, 
which  she  placed  in  his  hand.  "I  received  that  a  few 
days  ago.  It  was  too  late  to  write  you  again  in  Philadel- 
phia, else  I  should  have  advised  you  not  to  come." 

Nap  stared,  and  his  heart  palpitated  as  he  read.  The 
letter  was  from  Polly  Hopkins.  It  was  a  direct  inquiry 
whether  Molly  intended  to  marry  Nap  or  not.  Whether 
she  loved  him  ;  and,  if  so,  whether  it  was  reciprocated. 
She  said  he  had  avowed  his  love  for  herself,  and  was  quite 
willing  to  wed  her ;  but  she  had  heard  of  his  attachment 
for  Molly,  and  had  declined  acceding  to  his  request,  until 
he  had  seen  his  Kentucky  sweetheart  once  more.  Suffi- 
cient time  had  elapsed  for  him  to  have  done  so,  and  he  had 
failed  to  notify  her  of  the  result.  Therefore,  and  not  to 
be  kept  any  longer  in  suspense,  she  had  taken  the  liberty 
of  addressing  a  letter  to  Molly  on  the  subject,  and  begged 
to  be  favoured  with  a  reply  by  the  return  mail. 

"Did  you  answer  it?"  asked  Nap. 

"I  did;  and  I  was  as  candid  as  herself.  I  told  her  of 
our  agreement.  But  I  also  informed  her  that  the  commu- 
nication she  had  made  would  be  the  cause  of  my  non-com- 
pliance with  the  engagement.  And  I  told  her,  moreover, 
that  I  never  would  marry  you  until  I  was  convinced  you 
were  incapable  of  loving  any  one  else." 

"Ah,  Molly!     Won't  you  believe  me,  now?     Wont 


304  LIFE    AND    ADVENTURES 

you  take  my  word,  when  I  declare  that  at  this  moment 
you  are  the  only  girl  in  the  world  I  love  ?" 

<'  Yes,  I  believe  you.  I  will  take  your  word  that  you 
love  me  only  at  the  present  moment,  when  you  see  no 
other.  But  I  cannot  believe  that  you  are  incapable  of 
loving  others.  I  will  not  believe  that  you  w^ill  not  love 
this  Miss  Hopkins  more  than  any  one  else  when  you  meet 
her  again.  Nap,  it  is  your  nature,  and  I  can't  say  I 
blame  you  for  it.  I  might  make  you  faithful,  if  the  knot 
were  once  tied.  But  I  don't  know  it.  It  would  be  too 
great  a  risk  to  run.  I  will  not  try  the  experiment.  Such 
is  my  decision,  and  it  cannot  be  changed.  Return  to 
Missouri,  and,  if  you  will  not  wholly  relinquish  the  thought 
of  some  day  obtaining  my  hand,  agree  to  do  penance  a 
whole  year,  like  the  characters  in  <■  Love's  Labours  Lost.' 
Either  abstain  from  loving  others,  or  else  marry  the  next 
one  you  do  love,  and  think  no  more  of  me.  But  if  at  the 
end  of  twelve  months  you  can  produce  satisfactory  evi- 
dence that  your  heart  is  captive  to  me  alone,  and  has  not 
been  enthralled  by  others  during  that  period,  I  may  per- 
haps listen  to  your  suit — provided  I  am  not  married  my- 
self, or  engaged  to  some  one  else." 

"  That  isn't  fair,"  said  Nap. 

"It  may  not  be  fair  in  your  opinion ;  but  it  is  final.  I 
impose  no  restrictions  upon  myself,  because  I  have  not 
been  faithless." 

"But  you  vfould  not  have  me  before  I  w^ent  to  Mis- 
souri." 

"  I  know  it ;  and  I  did  right.  One  should  be  able  to 
steer  his  own  bark  safely  through  the  world  before  he  un- 
dertakes to  carry  passengers  on  such  a  long  voyage.  You 
were  inexperienced." 

"  But  then  you  say  I  oughtn't  to  be  blamed  for  what  I 
can't  help.  I  acknowledge  I  can't  help  admiring  a  prett;^ 
girl  wherever  I  meet  her.     It  is  my  nature." 

"And  suppose  I  could  not  avoid  falling  in  love  with 
every  handsome  man  I  met  ?     Would  you  like  that  ?" 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  305 

"No,  by  Judy  !" 

"  It  might  not  be  my  fault,  but  my  nature.  But  then 
one  is  not  under  the  necessity  of  marrying  a  natural 
monstrosity.  A  hair-lipped  or  club-footed  man  is  not  to 
be  blamed  for  his  deformity ;  but  neither  is  a  girl  to  be 
censured  for  declining  to  make  such  blemishes  her  own. 
Farewell.  I  have  been  frank  with  you."  She  placed  her 
slightly  trembling  hand  in  his,  and  turned  away  her  face. 

"  Oh  Molly !  Don't  leave  me.  I'll  root  out  my  very 
nature  for  you.  I  loved  you  when  we  were  little  children 
together.  Only  you.  I  love  you  now  more  than  ever. 
Fortune  may  smile  again." 

"Nap,  if  all  the  gold  in  California  w^ere  yours,  my 
resolution  would  not  be  changed.  But  were  your  incon- 
stant nature  changed,  I  would  take  you  without  a  dime  in 
your  pocket!"     And  then  she  vanished. 

Nap  strolled  despondingly  homeward.  As  he  entered 
his  mother's  gate,  Mr.  Brook  came  out.  He  did  not  seem 
to  observe  him,  and  Mr.  B.  brushed  past  without  speaking. 

Mr.  Brook  had  just  informed  Mrs.  Wax  of  the  news. 
She  was  the  last  in  the  village  to  hear  of  her  son's  mis- 
fortune. But  she  was  the  fii'st  to  cheer  him.  She  knew 
he  was  incapable  of  meditating  a  dishonourable  action, 
and  believed  he  would  soon  retrieve  any  loss  consequent 
upon  his  imprudent  purchases  in  New  York.  She  was 
aware,  however,  that  a  change  had  taken  place  in  the 
mind  of  Molly;  but  she  did  not  attribute  it  to  the  pecu- 
niary difficulty.     She  knew  her  better. 

Nap  told  her  every  thing,  and  she  said  she  could  not 
blame  Molly.  She  insisted  that  Molly  was  a  good  girl, 
and  the  proper  one  for  her  son  to  marry.  But  she  was 
resolute,  and  he  would  have  to  abide  her  decision.  She 
believed  Molly  to  be  sincerely  attached  to  him ;  and  if  his 
mind  could  be  once  fixed,  they  might  be  very  happy  to- 
gether. She  therefore  advised  her  son  to  be  circumspect 
and  patient  for  twelve  months,  and  he  would  then  be  well 
rewarded. 

26* 


806  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

Handy  at  that  moment  came  in,  bringing  a  letter  and  a 
telegraphic  despatch  for  Nap,  which  he  had  found  at  the 
office. 

"Which  shall  I  open  first,  Jack?"  ask?d  Nap,  reallj 
shivering  with  the  apprehension  that  he  was  to  hear  more 
bad  news.  Every  communication  he  had  received  of  late, 
whether  by  telegraph  or  by  mail,  had  been  a  source  of 
annoyance  to  him. 

"  I  think  I  would  open  the  despatch  first,  as  it  probably 
contains  the  most  important  news.  It  may  not  be  bad 
news,  though,  for  the  sender  of  it  seems  to  have  paid  for 
its  transmission.  Perhaps,  however,  you  had  better  pause, 
and  prepare  your  nerves,  which,  if  what  Mr.  Brook  has 
been  telling  about  town  be  true,  must  be  in  a  shattered 
condition." 

"  It  is  true.  Jack,  and  old  Bullock's  arrangements  will 
be  for  nothing,  unless   you  can   persuade   Kate   to   go 
Hanged  if  you  don't  blush  !" 

"Do  I?  But,  Nap,  I  didn't  think  Molly  was  capable 
of  acting  in  this  manner." 

"  Oh,  it  isn't  because  he's  been  unfortunate,"  said  Nap's 
mother,  "  but  because  he  fell  in  love  with  that  wild  Polly, 
and  wanted  to  marry  her.  She  has  written  Molly  a  long 
letter." 

"  Nap,  I  thought  Polly  would  get  you  into  a  scrape. 
Don't  you  remember  what  she  threatened  the  day  she  met 
us  in  the  prairie,  when  I  had  a  chill  after  meeting  the 
bloody  Irishman  ?  But  I'm  glad  that  Molly  hasn't  re- 
jected you  on  account  of  the  New  York  dif" 

"It's  over!  It's  over!  Huzza!"  cried  Nap,  who  had 
peeped  into  the  despatch.  Leaping  up  and  upsetting 
chairs  and  tables,  he  danced  over  the  floor,  and  continued 
to  huzza  with  all  his  might,  while  holding  the  paper  over 
his  head. 

"Nap  !  are  you  going  mad?"  cried  his  mother.  "You 
have  broken  a  flower-pot  and  upset  a  pan  of  milk!" 

"What  is  it,  Nap  ?"  demanded  Jack,  following  him. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  807 

"  Sunk  !  Sunk  !  The  boat's  sunk  in  Lake  Erie  with  all 
my  New  York  goods  on  board  !" 

<'  Lord  bless  us !  What  a  misfortune  i"  cried  his  mother, 
clasping  her  hands  and  looking  upward.  "Oh,  my  son, 
you  seem  to  be  born  to  bad  luck !" 

"  Good  luck,  mother  I  Say  good  luck  !  Fortune  smiles 
on  me,  mother  !" 

"Don't  go  mad,  my  poor  boy !"  cried  Mrs.  W.,  weeping 
bitter  tears. 

"Mother!  won't  you  believe  me?  I  say  it's  the  best 
news  I  ever  received  in  my  life.  It  puts  thousands  in  my 
pocket !" 

"  I  can't  understand  that.  The  vessel  is  sunk  with  your 
goods  on  board." 

"Yes.     The  despatch  says  a  total  loss." 

"And  yet  you  gain  by  it  ?" 

"  Certainly.  The  goods  were  insured  in  a  strong 
office." 

"  Insured  ?     Then  won't  the  office  lose  ?" 

"  That's  not  my  look  out.  If  they  hadn't  been  sunk, 
the  office  would  have  got  my  six  hundred  dollars  for 
nothing." 

"It  is  true,  Mrs.  W.,"  said  Jack  Handy,  reading  the 
despatch,  and  evincing  almost  as  much  excitement  as  Nap. 

The  communication  came  from  Mr.  R.,  of  Philadelphia. 
lie  stated  that  the  proper  course  to  pursue  would  be  to 
send  him  a  power  of  attorney  to  receive  the  money  from 
the  underwriters ;  that  the  goods  had  been  shipped  under 
a  contract  to  deliver  them  at  St.  Louis  ;  consequently,  no 
expense  had  been  incurred  besides  the  premium  of  insu- 
rance. Moreover,  they  had,  as  usual,  been  insured  for  ten 
per  cent,  above  the  cost,  which  amounted  to  three  thou- 
sand dollars.  The  six  hundred  dollars  premium,  when 
deducted,  would  still  leave  Nap  the  handsome  sum  of 
two  thousand  four  hundred  dollars  profit.  But  that  was 
not  all.  Mr.  R.  could  obtain  a  discount  of  five  per  cent. 
on  all  the  New  York  bills,  which  would  be  equivalent  to  one 


308  LIFE   AXD   ADVENTURES 

thousand  five  hundred  dollars  more,  making  for  Nap, 
altogether,  a  clear  gain  of  three  thousand  nine  hundred 
dollars  on  his  operations  in  New  York. 

No  wonder  the  poor  fellow  felt  relieved  of  the  burden 
which  had  oppressed  him ;  it  was  not  strange  that  he 
danced  about  and  huzzaed.  He  felt  that  he  was  out  of  the 
woods,  and  might  exercise  his  lungs. 

"Now  for  the  letter !"  said  Nap.  "I'm  not  afraid  to 
open  it,  now.  It's  from  Jim  Rue ;  I  know  his  hand.  I 
wrote  him  that  a  letter  would  find  me  here  about  this 
time.  I  had  just  got  Molly's  letter  in  Philadelphia.  I'm 
only  sorry  I  told  him  I  was  to  be  married.  No  doubt 
Polly  has  been  informed  of  it,  and  I  shall  get  neither. 
The  women  don't  seem  to  care  half  as  much  for  money  as 
we  men." 

He  broke  the  seal  and  read  the  badly  written  epistle. 
None  but  he  could  read  it;  and  it  required  patience  even 
for  him  to  understand  the  whole.  Jim  began  by  wishing 
him  joy,  which  caused  Nap  to  make  a  wry  face.  He  then 
said  "let  her  rip,"  and  passed  to  other  subjects.  It 
seemed  that  many  applications  were  made  for  lots  after 
Nap's  departure,  and  that  Brother  Keene  had  no  sooner 
erected  a  building  on  his  premises  than  he  leased  it  to  a 
Mr.  Rhino,  a  Dutch  Jew,  who  had  put  a  stock  of  goods  in 
it,  which  he  sold  at  lower  prices  than  Nap  had  been  in  the 
habit  of  doing.  Thus  he  had  competition  next  door  to 
him.  Jim  likewise  stated  that  some  twenty  new  buildings 
had  been  erected,  or  were  in  the  process  of  erection, 
since  Nap  had  left  Venice,  and  that  there  was  much 
speculation  going  on  in  houses  and  lots.  He  had  at  the 
store,  offers  for  more  than  twenty  lots,  amounting  alto- 
gether to  upward  of  two  thousand  dollars,  which,  of 
course,  could  neither  be  accepted  nor  declined  until  Nap 
returned.  He  said  the  whole  of  Nap's  interest  in  the 
unimproved  portions  of  the  town  would  no  doubt  bring 
ten  thousand  dollars  if  sold  under  the  hammer ;  and  that 
a  lawyer  from  St.  Louis,  who  had  been  telegraphed  from 


OP   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  309 

New  York,  had  spent  several  days  at  Sam  Marsh's  hotel, 
and  was  willing  to  offer  nine  thousand  dollars,  provided 
Nap  would  take  his  own  notes  given  the  house  of  B.  &  T. 
in  payment.  Jim  further  said  that  trade  had  been  pretty 
fair  until  the  <'  double-purple  madder-dyed  rascal  of  a  Jew" 
opened  his  smuggled  goods  alongside  of  them.  But  his 
collections  had  been  good,  as  well  as  cash  sales,  and  hence 
he  thought  he  would  have  money  enough  to  pay  freights 
and  charges,  unless  a  whole  steamboat  load  of  goods  should 
be  landed  for  them  at  one  time.  In  a  postscript  he 
mentioned  having  seen  Polly,  who,  he  said,  was  not  quite 
so  "  dare-devilish"  as  usual,  when  informed  that  Nap  was 
to  be  married  to  Molly.  "But,"  he  concluded,  "let  her 
rip  !" 

Here  again  was  cheering  news  for  Nap.  He  could  not 
keep  still.  He  sat  down  first  in  one  chair  and  then  in 
another.  He  reclined  on  the  settee  for  a  few  moments, 
and  then  leaped  up  and  walked  the  floor,  backward  and 
forward,  very  briskly,  as  if  urgently  in  pursuit  of  some 
object  which  could  only  be  obtained  by  violent  physical 
exertion. 

Meantime,  Jack  Handy  had  withdrawn  without  being 
observed,  so  profound  was  Nap's  abstraction. 

"Mother !"  said  he,  turning  to  his  sedate  parent,  "  I'm 
worth  twenty  thousand  dollars.  At  least  that.  Perhaps 
double  that.  I  will  be  worth  a  hundred  thousand.  I'll 
tear  down  this  house" 

"You  shan't  do  any  such  thing.  Nap!  Are  you 
crazy  ?" 

"  Oh,  I'll  build  you  another.  You  shall  have  the  best 
house  in  town  !     It  shall  be  a  palace." 

"  I  don't  want  a  palace.  This  old  cottage  suits  me  well 
enough.  I  love  it,  and  the  garden,  and  the  yard.  The 
rose-bushes,  the  grape-vines,  and  trees,  and  the  green 
grass  are  my  delight.  I  won't  have  any  thing  changed. 
I  am  happy  enough,  now ;  don't  make  me  miserable.  Nap, 
with  any  changes.     Let  well  enough  alone.     There  are 


310  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

changes  enough  in  the  world  in  spite  of  us.  Don't  let  us 
make  more  than  we  can  help." 

"  But  I  am  rich,  mother  ;  and  have  no  one  else  to  bestow 
mj  wealth  upon  but  you." 

"  I  don't  want  it.  I  am  content  with  the  little  I  have. 
I  have  a  house  and  sufficient  victuals  and  clothes.  Oh,  I 
have  seen  rich  folks  in  my  day !  And  they  had  constant 
toil  and  care  and  vexation.  And-  what  was  it  all  for  ? 
Just  for  their  victuals  and  clothes.  They  did  not  eat  a 
larger  amount,  nor  wear  more  comfortable  dresses  than  I 
did,  and  all  my  life  I  have  been  called  poor.  But  I  never 
envied  them,  for  I  knew  I  was  as  happy  as  the  best  of 
them.  Now  yonder  comes  a  fool.  It  is  Brook.  Jack's 
been  telling  him  the  news." 

"Let  bygones  be  bygones.  Nap,"  said  Brook,  coming 
in  hastily.  "  It  was  only  a  mistake.  Say  it  was  a  duty  I 
owed  my  daughter — mere  parental  affection.  If  you  love 
Molly,  you  won't  blame  me  for  endeavouring  to  promote 
her  happiness.  Won't  you  forget  what  passed  betwixt  us, 
Nap?" 

t'  Oh  yes.     I  forgive  every  thing.    Think  no  more  of  it." 

"  Give  me  your  hand  !  I  wish  you  joy,  my  fine  fellow ! 
You  are  about  the  richest  man  in  town,  now ;  and,  although 
I  say  it,  who  perhaps  ought  to  be  silent,  yet  it  must  be 
confessed  by  all,  that  you  are  going  to  get  a  girl  who  will 
make  one  of  the  finest  wives  the  State  of  Kentucky  ever 
produced." 

"  It  is  a  pity  it  can't  be  as  you  wish,"  said  Nap. 

"  Can't  be  as  I  wish?  What !  do  you  intend  to  abandon 
her  ?  If  you  do,  I'll  sue  you  for  breach  of  marriage  con- 
tract!" 

'« That  will  not  be  necessary.  I  would  marry  her  this 
hour,  if  she  would  have  me." 

•'What!  you  think  she  won't  have  you — you  who  are 
worth.  Jack  says,  more  than  ten  thousand  dollars  ?" 

"  I  know  she  won't  have  me  for  a  whole  year.  She  said 
so — and  what  she  says  is  so." 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  311 

"■  That  was  when  she  thought  you  had  nothing  to  make 
the  pot  boil.  .  She'll  think  better  of  it." 

"You  don't  know  your  own  daughter,  Mr.  Brook,"  said 
Nap's  mother.  "  She  has  the  good  sense  and  firm  resolu- 
tion of  her  mother." 

"  Would  you  call  it  good  sense  to  put  off  such  a  match 
for  twelve  months?" 

"  I  shall  not  call  it  any  thing.  I'll  not  make  or  meddle 
in  any  such  affairs ;  and  you  had  better  follow  my  example. 
Let  the  young  folks  fix  it  to  please  themselves." 

<'  She  shall  have  him  I" 

i'Will  you  tell  her  so?" 

"Well,  I  wouldn't  like  to  do  so  in  those  words.  But 
I'll  reason  with  her." 

"And  then  she'll  have  the  advantage  of  you." 

"  Come  with  me,  Nap.    You  shall  plead  for  yourself." 

"No,  sir.  I  have  done  that  already.  She  might  have 
relented  if  I  had  not  heard  of  my  good  fortune,  for  she 
couldn't  help  pitying  me.  But  now  she'd  turn  her  back  on 
me  in  disdain.     I  know  her  well." 

"  Then  I'll  reason  with  her.  I'll  promise  to  give  her 
the  largest  wedding  she  ever  dreamt  of." 

"That  will  do  no  good.  She  despises  such  displays. 
We  would  have  left  town  in  twenty  minutes  .after  the 
ceremony  was  performed." 

"Nap,  suppose  you  threaten  to  sue  her  for  breach  of 
marriage  contract?" 

"Nonsense!" 

"  I'll  go  mad  if  you  ain't  married  !  My  heart's  fixed 
upon  it !"     Saying  this,  Mr.  Brook  ran  off  toward  home. 

"  He's  been  half-witted  all  his  life,  and  a  worshipper  of 
wealthy  men.  He  thinks  happiness  consists  in  riches.  He 
is  a  toady  to  General  Frost,  merely  because  he  is  rich.  I 
believe  he  would  flatter  the  Old  Boy,  if  he  carried  money 
about  him.  Nap,  if  ever  you  do  marry  Molly,  I  advise 
you  not  to  dwell  under  his  roof." 

"Molly  is  quite  different  from  her  father." 


312  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

« I  know  that !  She  is  a  fine  girl,  and  would  make  any 
deserving  man  happy." 

<'  Mother,  I  wish  you  would  go  and  see  her  for  me,  while 
I  write  to  Mr.  R.  If  she  puts  it  off  a  whole  year,  I'm 
fearful  something  will  happen  to  prevent  it  altogether." 

His  mother  did  go  to  Mr.  Brook's  house,  and  had  a  long 
interview  with  Molly.  But  Molly  could  not  be  moved  from 
her  purpose.  She  read  the  letter  from  Nap's  Missouri 
sweetheart  to  the  old  lady. 

"He  got  that  habit  from  his  father,"  said  Mrs.  W.^ 
<'and  he  can't  help  it  to  save  his  life.  His  father  loved 
another  when  he  proposed  to  me,  and  I  put  him  off,  too. 
But  the  longer  I  put  him  off,  the  more  he  fell  in  love  with 
others.  So  I  married  him,  and  put  an  end  to  it.  He  never 
loved  another  afterward.  He  was  cured.  And  so  it  will 
be  with  Nap ;  if  you  postpone  it,  he'll  keep  loving  all  the 
handsome  girls  he  meets ;  but  if  you'll  marry  him,  he'll 
be  satisfied." 

It  did  not  avail.  Molly  adhered  to  her  resolution..  But 
she  sent  a  kind  word  to  Nap.  She  said  she  did  not  desire 
to  be  an  obstacle  in  his  way,  if  he  preferred  Polly,  or  any 
one  else  to  her.  Bitt  that  it  would  be  useless  for  him  to 
suppose  she  could  be  induced  to  alter  her  determination. 

During  the  progress  of  these  events.  Jack  Handy  had 
not  neglected  his  own  affairs.  He  had  sought  and  ob- 
tained an  interview  with  Kate.  She  had  even  received 
him  in  the  General's  library,  the  General  himself  being 
absent  on  one  of  his  accustomed  rides.  Strange  to  say, 
after  the  first  greetings,  their  conversation  related  chiefly 
to  the  affairs  of  Nap  and  Molly. 

"  He  might  have  known  she  would  be  informed  of  his 
passion  and  proposition  in  Missouri ;  nothing  of  that  kind 
ever  was  long  concealed,"  said  Kate,  her  clear  blue  eyes 
fixed  upon  Jack's  face. 

"Polly  informed  her  by  letter.  She  had  it  directly 
from  the  Missouri  lady  herself." 

"  I  am  glad  of  it.    It  served  him  right.    What  business 


OF  A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  813 

had  he  to  be  falling  in  love  with  any  one  else,  when  there 
was  a  girl  in  Kentucky  to  whom  he  had  plighted  his  faith?" 

"  She  had  never  promised  to  wed  him ;  he  did  not  know 
that  Molly  would  wait  for  him,  or  indeed  consent  to  wed 
him  if  he  awaited  the  expiration  of  her  time.  Polly  was 
handsome  and  seemed  to  be  willing" 

"And  the  temptation  was  great !" 

a  Very.  No  wonder  the  poor  distressed  fellow  could 
not  resist  it." 

"Oh  no;  and  I  suppose  all  the  distressed  fellows  find  it 
difficult  to  resist  such  temptations.  You  must  be  sadly 
distressed  when  so  long  absent ;  and  it  may  be  presumed 
temptations  are  never  wanting,"  said  Kate,  shrugging  her 
alabaster  shoulders. 

"But,  as  yet,  I  have  never  yielded  to  any  such  tempta- 
tions." 

"How  do  I  know  that?" 

"You  don't  know  the  contrary.  No  one  has  written 
you  that  I  have  acted  as  Nap  did;  you  have  no  evidence 
of  my  transgression,  or  reason  to  charge  me  with  any 
semblance  of  infidelity." 

"But  I  have,  sir!" 

"You  have?"  asked  Jack,  looking  her  full  in  the  face 
with  the  boldness  of  perfect  innocency. 

"Yes,  I  have.  Your  youth,  your  absence,  the  continued 
presence  of  young  ladies,  the" 

"There  is  nothing  criminal  or  censurable  in  all  that." 

"  But  there  is  temptation.  Confess,  now,  that  you  have 
been  strongly  tempted." 

« I  will  confess  that  I  am  strongly  tempted  now,  to — to 
snatch  a  kiss !" 

"  Have  you  never  snatched  them  from  others  ?" 

"No,  indeed!"  said  Jack,  yielding  to  the  temptation, 
which  had  not  removed  itself  or  resisted. 

"  Molly  will  not  relent.  I  know  she  won't !"  said  Kate, 
without  uttering  a  single  reproving  remark  upon  what  had 
just  occurred. 


814  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"  I'm  sorry  for  it.  She  would  cure  liim  efFectually,  and 
remove  him  beyond  the  reach  of  temptaition  hereafter. 
But  she  is  implacable.  There  will  be  no  wedding.  And 
after  he  had  engaged  a  bridal  chamber,  too  !" 

" Had  he  engaged  such  a  chamber ?  Where?  Describe 
it  to  me." 

Jack  repeated  what  had  transpired  at  Bullock's  inn,  and 
Kate  seemed  to  sympathize  with  the  doomed  victim. 

"But  there  is  more  than  one  victim,  Kate !"  said  Jack. 
"What  is  it  but  mere  caprice  which  withholds  the  greatest 
happiness  I  have  dreamt  of,  hoped  for,  lived  for " 

"Are  you  quite  certain  the  possession  of  the  object  you 
seek  would  be  such  happiness?" 

"I  know  it!  Oh,  Kate,  why  not  seize  the  present 
time" 

"  And  not  disappoint  old  Bullock  ?     Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !" 

"  Do  not  laugh  at  me,  or  treat  the  subject  lightly.  I 
speak  with  an  anxious  and  aching  heart.  Who  knows,  if 
we  part  now,  whether  we  shall  ever  meet  again  ?  Disease, 
accident,  death,  may  make  it  an  eternal  separation.  The 
bursting -of  a  boiler,  the  cholera,  which  is  now  in  Missouri 
— but  no  !  I  would  not  expose  you  to  it.  You  should  be 
kept  beyond  the  limits  of  its  ravages" 

"Jack,  don't  frighten  me  I"  Kate  exclaimed,  spasmo- 
dically, and  quite  pale.  "  Don't,  describe  the  dangers  to 
w^hich  you  will  be  exposed !  You  will  run  me  mad,  if  you 
do.  I  have  pledged  my  word  to  my  guardian,  as  you  are 
aware,  and  must  keep  it.  Were  I  absolved,  I  would  go 
with  you.     Your  fate  should  be  mine  I" 

"  Would  he  not  absolve  you,  if  you  were  to  plead  with 
him  ?  He  is  generous  and  noble.  An  aristocrat,  he  has 
in  an  eminent  degree  the  attributes  of  true  nobility.  As 
Nap  and  I  approached  the  village,  we  met  him,  and  he  sur- 
prised me  by  bowing  and  smiling  as  he  cantered  past." 

"He  saw  you,  then?"  asked  Kate,  quickly,  and  some- 
what startled. 

«  Yes.     Why  do  you  ask  ?" 


OF  A  COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  315 

"Because  he  may  return  sooner  than  I  supposed  he 
would;  and  he  might  think  it  cool  impudence  in  me  to 
introduce  into  his  library  one  whose  visits  he  has  inter- 
dicted.    Yet  he  admires  you." 

"Admires  me?" 

"He  does,  indeed,  notwithstanding  his  haughty  and 
repulsive  looks.  Sometimes  of  late,  when  I  have  been 
paying  more  attention  to  my  flowers  than  usual,  and  with- 
holding myself  from  his  presence,  he  has  come  upon  me, 
and  scolded  me  for  being  pale,  and  thinking  too  much  of 
some  one  then  absent.  At  such  times  it  is  difficult  for  him 
to  keep  his  countenance  when  indirectly  attempting  to 
detract  from  your  merits.  His  features,  whose  language 
I  have  learned  to  understand  perfectly,  contradicted  every 
word  his  tongue  uttered.  And  most  generally,  for  he  can 
likewise  read  my  thoughts,  he  has  ended  by  admitting 
<  the  fellow  is  good-looking  enough ;  he  has  some  spirit, 
too,  and  knows  how  to  manage  an  affair  of  honour.' 
That  was  the  comfort  he  felt  bound  to  apply  after  the 
infliction." 

"  I  have  always  revered  the  General,  as  a  high-toned 
gentleman  of  the  old  Virginia  school.  I  can  appreciate 
his  designs.  And  although  they  seem  adverse  to  the  con- 
summation of  my  wishes,  I  know  they  are  not  the  result 
of  any  disreputable  motives.  He  simply  deems  me  unworthy 
of  you,  as  indeed  I  am,  and  as  any  man  would  be" 

"  What  do  you  mean,  Jack?  Have  you  the  presumption 
to  utter  such  words  before  my  face,  and  then" 

"  Seek  your  hand  ?  It  is  true.  What  I  have  said  is 
true.  What  I  presume  to  seek  is  confessed.  But  without 
feeling  any  enmity  for  me,  your  guardian  would  have  you 
wed  some  one  of  greater  wealth,  or  more  distinguished 
family,  or  more  eleyated  position" 

"Enough,  Jack  !" 

"Not  merely  for  his  own  gratification,  for  he  is  generous 
and  noble — but  for  your  own  welfare." 

"  My  welfare !     Should  I  not  know  what  would  most 


816  LIFE  AND  ADVENTURES 

conduce  to  it?  What's  that!"  she  exclaimed,  hearing 
some  one  sneeze. 

"Damn  the  snufF!"  said  the  General,  striding  forth  from 
a  curtained  recess,  and  walking  deliberately  toward  the 
lovers,  who  stared  in  silent  amazement. 

"Sir!"  said  he  to  Jack,  but  at  the  same  time  kindly 
taking  his  hand,  "you  have  stolen  over  my  walls,  as  young 
Romeo  did — and  you  have  found  a  Juliet,  quite  as  romantic 
and  accommodating  as  the  stage  heroine.  But  then  there 
is  no  fend  between  our  houses.  Take  her  !"  He  joined 
their  hands,  and  turned  away  his  face.  They  rushed  into 
each  other's  arms. 

"Stop  that!  No  nonsense  before  me  !"  continued  the 
General.  "  You  are  not  married  yet ;  you  are  only 
affianced.  Sit  down.  Kate,  what  the  devil  can  I  do  with- 
out you  ?  I  won't  part  with  you  !  You  shan't  have  her, 
sir !  How  dare  you  presume  to  rob  an  old  man  of  his 
only  comfort  ?  And  you,  miss  !  What  makes  you  so  cold 
and  cruel  as  to  desire  to  leave  me  here  alone  to  sicken  and 
die  without  a  nurse  ?  I  will  not  suffer  long !"  The 
General's  eyes  were  moistened.  Kate  kissed  his  hands, 
and  wound  her  arms  around  his  neck.  "  I  know  you  love 
me,  Kate,"  he  continued;  "but  I  don't  understand  why 
you  w^ould  kill  me.  I  had  the  infernal  gout  all  the  time 
you  were  absent  at  school.  But  I  thought  the  bishop's 
rules  at  the  Hall  would  promote  a  habit  of  celibacy." 

"We  were  plighted  to  each  other,  sir,  before  she  was 
sent  to  St.  Mary's  Hall,"  said  Jack. 

"  The  deuce  you  were  !  Silence,  sir  !  let  her  speak  for 
herself!" 

"It  is  true,  sir." 

"  What  an  absurdity  !  The  idea  of  children  being  faith- 
ful to  their  engagements!" 

"You  know,  sir,  one  of  your  lessons  has  been  that 
we  should  always  scrupulously  perform  a  promise,,however 
trivial  it  may  be." 

"In  business  matters,  miss !  or  in  affairs  of  honour!" 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  317 

"  Our  honour  was  involved,  sir.-' 

<«  Oh,  of  course.  That  was  it.  You  were  bound  in 
honour  to  marry,  and  rob  an  old  fool  of  his  happiness. 
I  have  some  fortune,  sir ;  and  I  propose  making  it  yours, 
if  you  will  agree  not  to  rob  me  entirely  of  my  ward." 

"  I  will  settle  my  affairs  in  Missouri,  sir,  if  you  advise 
it,  and  then  bring  Kate  back  to  your  hospitable  roof." 

"  Be  it  so !     Bat  I  don't  like  the  bringing  Kate  back  !" 

"You  don't  ?"  exclaimed  Kate. 

<^  No,  Miss  Pert !  Because  it  implies  that  he  will  take 
you  away." 

"But  we  will  soon  return." 

"  The  sooner  the  better,  if  you  would  see  me  alive.  All 
the  morning  I  have  felt  the  gout  coming.  It  may  reach 
the  stomach  next  time.  Master  Handy,  I  believe  you 
have  some  good  blood  in  your  veins,  or  else  I  would  see 
you  at  Jericho  before  you  should  have  my  Kate.  Blood  is 
like  water  under  the  earth.  It  may  run  out  of  view  for 
'generations,  but  can  never  be  destroyed.  I'll  tell  you  an 
anecdote.  The  Duke  of  B ,  who  was  childless,  as- 
sembled all  his  tenants  one  day,  and  gave  them  a  feast. 
He  declared  that  his  line,  in  a  direct  descent,  would  be 
extinct  at  his  death,  and  he  knew  not  who  would  be  his 
successor.  While  speaking  thus,  his  eyes  fell  upon  a 
young  man  of  lofty  forehead  and  noble  bearing.  He 
turned  to  an  old  portrait  in  the  gallery,  which  had  been 
hanging  there  three  hundred  years,  and  was  struck  with 
the  resemblance  it  bore  to  the  young  man's  features. 
Others  then  observed  it.  Every  one  said  the  likeness  was 
perfect.  An  investigation  was  instituted,  and  by  the 
undoubted  records  of  several  parishes,  it  was  ascertained 
that  the  young  man  was  a  lineal  descendant  of  one  of  the 
Duke's  ancestors,  and  the  legitimate  heir  to  the  title  and 
estates.  And  so  he  succeeded  him.  Thus,  sir,  whatever  may 
be  the  vicissitudes  of  life,  or  the  results  of  circumstances — 
no  matter  what  may  happen  to  be  one's  occupation — if  he 
has  good  blood  in  his  family,  it  will  develop  itself.     It 

27* 


318  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

may  be  known  by  chivalrous  acts,  by  lofty  aspirations, 
and  by  the  confidence  it  inspires  in  others.  You  have 
such  blood,  sir  ;  else  you  would  not  have  dared  to  aspire  to 
the  hand  of  my  niece,  nor  would  Kate  have  reciprocated 
your  affection." 

^'  No  doubt  of  it,  sir !"  said  Kate. 

"You  know  nothing  about  it,  you  baggage  !  But,  sir," 
he  continued,  addressing  Jack,  "  before  I  yield  my  final 
consent,  you  must  make  me  certain  pledges." 

<'Name  them,  sir." 

"  First,  if  you  ever  turn  politician,  that  you  will  scorn 
to  be  a  demagogue." 

"  I  will  pledge  myself  to  that." 

"  But  you  must  learn  from  me  what  a  demagogue  is.  I 
was  elected  Governor,  without  seeking  the  'sweet  voices' 
of  the  people ;  and  might  have  been  re-elected,  if  I  had 
numbled  myself  to  the  demagogues  and  ignoramuses, 
which  I  scorned  to  do.  I  would  advocate  no  measure  I 
did  not  deem  proper  in  itself  and  worthy  the  advocacy  of 
a  gentleman." 

"Neither  would  I,  sir." 

"  Then,  sir,  never  be  an  advocate  of  the  Maine  Law — 
the  main-spring  of  fanaticism — nor  of  the  Public  School 
project" 

"  Is  that  a  bad  measure,  sir  ?" 

"  It  is  unconstitutional.  Education  is  a  good  thing,  I 
grant.  So  is  food,  and  so  is  clothing.  We  should  bestow 
alms  in  charity.  That  is  well  enough,  so  it  be  voluntary. 
But  who  would  submit  to  be  taxed  to  buy  bread  and  meat 
and  clothing  for  all  the  idle  paupers  and  improvident 
people  in  the  country  ?  And  yet  it  would  be  quite  as 
constitutional  as  the  other  clap-trap  measure." 

"It  seems  so,  indeed." 

"  It  is  so.  The  demagogues  will  have  public  granaries 
next,  as  they  did  in  Rome.  Let  them  alone.  They  will 
get  all  power  soon,  and  then  they  will  quarrel  over  the 
spoils  and  cut  their  own  throats,  as  they  did  in  France. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  319 

Then  a  purification  will  ensue,  and  men  of  honour  and 
intelligence  will  take  the  reins  of  government.  But  until 
that  time  arrives,  the  most  respectable  citizens  will  remain 
in  obscurity.  The  post  of  honour  now  is  in  private  life. 
Blackguards  rule  the  country,  and  no  decent  man  would 
associate  with  them." 

Jack  found  no  insurmountable  difficulty  in  agreeing  to 
the  terms,  and  he  had  the  felicity  of  espousing  Kate  that 
very  day. 


CHAPTER  XXY. 


The  bridal  party  set  out  for  Missouri,  staying   at  Bullock's   inn  the 
first  night — The  steamboat  Meteor  blows  up — Nap  escapes. 

"Where's  Molly,  Nap?"  asked  Bullock,  as  the  party 
descended  from  the  carriage  before  the  inn. 

"  Don't  mention  her,  I  beg  of  you,"  said  the  disconsolate 
young  man. 

"  Wouldn't  have  you  ?  Then  you  must  give  security  for 
your  bill.  I  know  Brook  would  have  made  her  marry 
you  if  you  had  done  well  in  the  world.  You  must  be  out 
of  money!" 

Jack  Handy  informed  the  host  that  such  was  not  the 
case.  He  then  introduced  Kate  as  his  wife,  and  whispered 
that  the  decking  of  the  bridal-chamber  had  not  been  for 
nothing. 

"Good!"  said  Bullock.  "You're  a  clever  fellow.  I'll 
tell  my  old  ooman  to  fix  every  thing  right.  You  shall 
have  a  nice  lodging,  and  the  best  to  eat  the  country  affords.. 
But  I  pity  Nap  !" 

"See  here,  Mr.  Bullock,"  said  Nap,  plucking  him 
aside  when  Jack  and  Kate  entered  the  inn,  "I  don't 
want  you  to  be  telling  the  folks  that  I  engaged  the  bridal- 
chamber  for  Molly  and  myself,  and  was  disappointed" 


320  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

"  It's  too  good  a  joke  not  to  be  told  !    I  can't  keep  that 
a  secret." 

»<  If  you  don't,  I  won't  keep  your  secret." 

*'What  secret?  The  old  ooman  and  me  have  no 
secrets  now." 

"  Don't  you  remember  the  night  Jack  and  I  stayed  here 
when  we  were  on  the  way  to  Philadelphia?" 

"  Yes,  I  do  remember  it !"  was  the  emphatic  reply. 

"And  I  don't  think  you'll  ever  forget  it.     Do  you?" 

"No.     But  what  did  you  see  or  hear  then  ?" 

"  One  of  the  windows  of  the  room  I  slept  in  was  next  to 
the  orchard,  you  recollect?" 

"  So  it  was  !     Did  you  see  or  hear  any  thing?" 

"Every  thing?" 

"  The  dickens  you  did  !" 

"Mum  for  mum,  you  know!" 

"Mum's  the  word!" 

"  The  negroes  have  never  told  it  ?' 

"No,  confound  'em!" 

"Well,  I  shan't  either,  if  you  don't  tell  on  me.*' 

"I'm  dumb  !  Walk  in.  You  shall  pay  no  bill."  And 
Bullock  kept  his  word. 

Nap  snored  but  little,  if  any,  that  night,  as  he  could  not 
sleep  until  the  day  dawned,  for  brooding  over  his  disap- 
pointment, and  contrasting  his  lot  with  Jack's.  But  when 
he  did  fall  into  a  slumber,  he  slept  fast  and  snored  loudly. 

"What  is  that.  Jack  ?"  asked  Kate,  awaking  just  as  the 
first  streaks  of  morning  could  be  discerned  through  the 
curtained  window,  and  listening  to  the  sounds  in  the  next 
chamber. 

"It  is  an  organ  that  I  have  heard  before,"  said  Jack, 
. springing  up.  "I  will  soon  silence  it.  Sleep  on;  don't 
let  it  disturb  you." 

"  But  what  sort  of  an  organ  is  it  ?  I  never  heard  one 
like  that  before." 

"A  nasal  organ.  Poor  Nap  has  just  fallen  asleep,  and 
he  always  snores." 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  321 

"  Oh,  is  that  all  ?  Then  let  him  alone.  Don't  disturb 
him  on  my  account.  I  am  sure  it  will  not  prevent  me 
from  sleeping  now,  since  I  know  what  it  is." 

Then  Jack  abandoned  his  purpose,  and  permitted  Nap 
to  remain  unmolested. 

Our  bridal  party  were  late  at  the  breakfast-table,  but 
they  did  justice  to  the  viands.  Bullock  never  once  al- 
luded to  Nap's  disappointment  or  disconsolate  looks.  But 
his  "old  ooman"  could  not  refrain  from  some  sly  insinu- 
ations in  the  ear  of  Kate,  who  alone  heard  them,  and  red- 
dened at  them.  Jack  could  only  extort  a  promise  from 
her  to  repeat  them  to  him  on  some  future  occasion,  which 
promise,  it  may  be  presumed,  she  did  not  fail  to  fulfil. 

Before  night,  they  arrived  at  a  point  on  the  Ohio  river 
where  there  was  lying  at  the  wharf  a  steamboat  bound  for 
St.  Louis.  It  was  the  old  Meteor,  a  second-class  boat, 
with  inferior  accommodations  for  passengers,  and  our  party 
embarked  on  it  with  reluctance.  But  it  might  be  several 
hours,  and  perhaps  a  whole  day,  before  a  better  boat  would 
arrive  bound  for  the  port  to  which  they  were  travelling. 

The  Meteor,  however,-  to  their  chagrin,  had  not  been 
under  way  ten  minutes  before  the  Western  Merchant,  a 
fine  new  boat,  hove  in  sight,  and  rounded  to  at  the  place 
whence  they  had  embarked.  It  was  a  regular  packet  in 
the  St.  Louis  trade,  and  no  one  doubted  it  would  arrive  at 
that  port  before  the  Meteor.  Many  openly  expressed  their 
opinions  on  the  subject.  The  captain  hearing  such  dero- 
gating surmises,  resolved  to  do  his  utmost  to  prevent  their 
realization.  Hence  the  officers  and  crew  not  only  put  on 
more  steam  than  usual,  but  worked  with  greater  energy 
in  the  receiving  and  discharging  of  freight,  wooding,  &c. 
By  this  means  the  \yestern  Merchant,  which,  with  a  mode- 
rate pressure  of  steam,  would  perhaps  run  eleven  miles 
while  the  Meteor  ran  but  ten,  was  kept  behind  all 
that  day  and  the  succeeding  night.  But  it  was  apparent 
it  could  be  no  equal  race,  while  one  boat  was  strained  in- 
cessantly to  keep  its  distance  ahead,  and  the  other  had 


322  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

not  as  yet  made  an  effort  to  pass  it.  The  Western  Mer- 
chant  might  at  any  moment  put  an  end  to  the  contest  by 
a  little  exertion,  and  it  was  not  in  the  nature  of  any 
commander  of  a  fine  boat  long  to  resist  such  a  temptation. 

Hitherto,  nevertheless,  the  predictions  of  the  Meteor's 
passengers  had  not  been  fulfilled,  and  a  supposition  began 
to  prevail  that  the  W.  M.  was  not  so  swift  a  boat  as  the 
newspapers  had  represented  it  to  be.  Once  or  twice 
during  the  ensuing  day  the  pursuing  boat  came  in  sight ; 
but  when  the  black  columns  of  smoke  arose  from  the 
Meteor's  chimneys,  which  was  invariably  the  case  on  such 
occasions,  the  W.  M.  fell  back  out  of  view  again. 

The  race  was  the  topic  of  conversation  as  long  as  the 
passengers  were  excited  with  the  prospect  of  being  beaten. 
Several  of  the  travellers,  sympathizing  with  the  captain, 
were  quite  willing  to  run  some  hazard  rather  than  have 
the  boat  on  which  they  voyaged  ignominiously  passed 
under  way.  Others  deprecated  any  violent  efforts  to  pre- 
vent such  an  occurrence,  and  expressed  their  apprehen- 
sions of  a  catastrophe  ensuing  if  they  were  not  discon- 
tinued. Among  those  who  condemned  the  ofiicers  for 
making  such  extraordinary  exertions  for  the  sake  of  main- 
taining a  contest  with  a  superior  boat,  or  with  any  boat, 
were  Nap  and  Jack.  Nap  was  always  alive  to  danger  of 
any  species.  Jack  seemed  to  be  more  particularly  anxious 
for  the  safety  of  his  dear  Kate,  for  whom  his  love  seemed 
to  increase  every  hour.  She  only  laughed  at  his  fears, 
unconscious  of  the  danger. 

But  one  may  become  accustomed  to  danger  itself;  and 
perils,  from  familiarity,  may  cease  to  be  exciting.  It  was 
so  with  our  party;  and  they  soon  ceased  to  entertain  any 
fears  that  they  might  be  involved  in  a  calamity.' 

Then  it  was  observed  by  Jack  and  Kate  that  a  change 
had  come  over  the  spirit  of  Nap.  His  jewelry,  his  gloves, 
and  his  fine  clothes  were  discarded,  and  were  succeeded  by 
the  plain  apparel  usually  worn  by  capitalists.  And  he 
grew  taciturn,  seeming  to  be  in  the  habit  of  thinking  much 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  323 

more  than  he  spoke.  At  first  they  supposed  it  to  be 
melancholy,  the  accompaniment  of  a  wounded  heart ;  but 
presently  they  had  convincing  evidence  that  it  was  merely 
the  pride  of  riches,  the  affected  reserve  and  unassuming 
ostentation  of  one  who  had  amassed  a  greater  amount  of 
wealth  than  most  of  those  in  pursuit  of  fortune  with  whom 
he  mingled. 

Yet  Nap  had  learned  more  than  one  valuable  lesson. 
He  had  tested  the  experiment  of  travellers  wearing  mean 
attire.  It  brought  contempt  from  strangers  and  debarred 
him  from  the  enjoyment  of  good  entertainment.  He 
learned  that  the  world  judges  of  one's  merits  very  often 
by  external  appearances,  and  that  the  poor  in  purse  do 
not  receive  much  consideration  from  their  fellow-creatures. 
He  had  likewise  learned  that  too  great  a  display  of  the 
evidences  of  wealth,  sometimes  subjects  one  to  the  ap- 
proaches of  sharpers.  He  had  been  the  victim  of  De  Coy, 
Therefore  he  adopted  a  medium  course  as  the  best  policy. 
It  was  also  an  imitation  of  the  apparel  of  some  of  the 
very  wealthy  men  who  had  been  pointed  out  to  him  in 
the  East. 

Yet  Nap  could  not  avoid  betraying  very  great  animation 
when  the  clerk  of  the  boat  required  him,  the  second  night 
after  he  had  been  on  board,  to  surrender  the  upper  berth 
of  the  state-room  in  which  he  had  slept.  Rich  men,  al- 
though they  may  be  reserved  and  plainly  dressed,  gene- 
rally think  they  are  entitled  to  more  privileges  and  greater 
consideration  than  others ;  and  they  feel,  if  they  do  not 
express,  much  indignation  when  others  are  in  any  manner 
exalted  above  them.  By  the  merest  accident,  Nap  had 
taken  the  upper  berth,  for  he  could  have  no  especial  par- 
tiality for  it;  but  when  the  Hon.  Mr.  K.  desired  to  have  it, 
then  he  preferred  it  decidedly.  He  told  the  clerk  that 
although  Mr.  K.  might  be  an  M.  C.,he  doubted  whether  he 
was  a  richer  man  than  himself.  And  when  the  clerk  per- 
sisted in  giving  the  berth  to  Mr.  K.,  Nap  said  he  would 
not  sleep  in  the  other.     And  he  did  not.     He  slept  upon 


324  '  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

tlie  floor,  and  snored  so  loudly  that  Mr.  K.  would  most 
certainly  have  evacuated  his  quarters  before  the  termina- 
tion of  the  night,  had  he  not  been  prevented  from  put- 
ting his  design  into  execution  by  an  unexpected  occur- 
rence. 

There  was  not  a  single  individual  sitting  or  standing  in 
the  cabin.  All  had  retired.  It  was  after  midnight.  At 
such  an  hour,  the  officers  having  charge  of  the  Western 
Merchant  determined  to  pass  ahead  of  the  Meteor.  To 
accomplish  this,  an  extra  pressure  of  steam  was  applied. 
On  the  Meteor  the  same  means  were  resorted  to  to  defeat 
the  purpose.  The  consequence  was  an  explosion  of  one 
of  the  Meteor's  boilers.  The  rear  end  of  it  blew  out  and 
carried  aAvay  several  of  the  state-rooms  in  the  gentlemen's 
cabin.  Some  three  or  four  of  the  passengers  were  killed 
by  the  iron  fragments  which  passed  through  the  frail  sides  of 
the  rooms,  and  as  many  by  inhaling  the  scalding  vapour 
which  followed.  There  was  a  dull,  stunning  report — a  crash, 
succeeded  by  screams  and  groans.  The  consternation  that 
ensued  among  the  surviving  passengers,  and  particularly 
those  in  the  ladies'  cabin,  where  no  injury  had  been  sustained, 
made  a  scene  not  to  be  described.  The  steam  which  had 
filled  the  cabins  was  however  soon  dispersed  or  condensed, 
and  no  further  injury  was  to  be  apprehended.  Lights 
were  brought  in  to  ascertain  the  result.  Jack  Handy 
ran  to  the  state-room  which  Nap  had  occupied.  Upon 
opening  the  door  he  discovered  his  friend  lying  on  his 
back,  perfectly  still,  and — snoring !  The  explosion  had 
not  disturbed  him.  Mr.  K.  they  likewise  found  lying  in 
his  berth,  but  quite  dead.  A  piece  of  iron,  weighing  seve- 
ral pounds,  had  passed  through  the  slight  wooden  partition 
and  penetrated  his  temple. 

<«  Awake,  Nap  !     Arise  !"  shouted  Jack. 

"No  ;  I'll  sleep  here,  if  I  can't  have  my  berth.  I  have 
funds  in  R.  &  Co.'s  hands,"  said  Nap,  rubbing  his  eyes.  The 
steam  having  expanded  upward,  the  hot  stratum  did  not 
aflfect  those  in  the  lower  berths,  much  less  the  men  lying 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  325 

on  the  floor;  hence  Nap's  ignorance  of  the  "serious  acci- 
dent" which  had  occurred,  and  which  had  precipitated  a 
number  of  human  beings  into  eternity. 


CHAPTER  XXVI. 


Our  party  taken  on  board  the  W.  M. — Nap  meets  with  Miss  D.  again, 
and  wants  to  marry  her — She  rejects  him  kindly — A  dissertation  on 
authors — They  arrive  at  St.  Louis  and  find  their  goods — They  likewise 
find  true  friends — Letters  from  Joseph  Handy  and  Jim  Rue — Nap  ar- 
rives at  Venice,  and  hardly  knows  his  own  town — Nap  hopes  to  hear 
something  about  Polly,  but  won't  inquire — his  Jew  competitor — Nap 
goes  out  to  shoot  snipe — Immense  success. 

The  passengers  on  board  the  <' ill-fated"  Meteor  had 
been  transferred  to  the  Western  Merchant,  which  now 
ploughed  its  way  alone  through  the  sparkling  waters. 

Nap  of  course  had  been  much  shocked  at  the  spectacle 
he  beheld  on  board  the  Meteor.  Although  unconscious  of 
danger  when  the  catastrophe  occurred,  the  mere  contem- 
plation of  the  horrid  death  he  had  escaped,  subsequently 
made  him  turn  pale  and  tremble. 

The  morning  succeeding  the  transfer  of  the  passengers 
to  the  W.  M.,  our  hero,  after  a  moderate  breakfast,  sat 
pale  and  alone  on  the  guard  behind  the  wheel-house.  With 
his  hand  under  his  chin,  and  his  elbow  resting  on  the  rail- 
ing, he  seemed  to  be  reflecting  on  the  vicissitudes  of  life, 
as  he  w^as  wafted  over  the  smooth  surface  of  the  Ohio. 
It  was  a  calm,  warm,  cloudy  day.  Long  he  remained  in 
this  pensive  attitude  without  being  accosted  by  any  one. 
After  his  thoughts  had  run  their  course,  having  been 
aroused  from  sleep  and  deprived  of  his  accustomed  rest  the 
preceding  night,  his  eyelids  gradully  drooped,  and  he  would 
have  fallen  into  a  profound  slumber,  had  he  not  snored  so 

28 


326  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

startlingly  as  to  awaken  himself.  He  was  upon  the  eve 
of  rising  from  his  chair,  to  indulge  his  innocent  propensity 
in  his  state-room,  when  he  felt  himself  gently  tapped  on 
the  shoulder.  He  turned  his  head  slowly  and  gazed  in 
silence,  in  astonishment,  but  in  admiration.  Miss  D.  stood 
before  him.  She  looked  like  one  of  the  Muses,  and  seemed 
to  enjoy  his  surprise.  She  then  gave  him  her  hand  in 
friendly  greeting. 

"Why,"  said  she,  "don't  you  exclaim — 

*  Angels  and  ministers  of  grace,  defend  us ! 
Be  thou  a  spirit  of  health,  or  goblin  damn'd. 
Bring  with  thee  airs  from  heaven,  or  blasts  from  hell, 
Be  thy  intents  wicked  or  charitable, 
Thou  comest  in  such  a  questionable  shape,' — 

and  so  on." 

"<That  I  will  speak  to  thee,' "  added  Nap,  rising. 

"  Say  on,  but  sit  still,  and  I  will  sit  beside  you.  Tell 
me  your  adventures  since  we  parted,"  said  she. 

If  Nap  had  been  unmoved  by  the  explosion  of  a  boiler, 
he  could  not  resist  such  charming  condescension  on  the 
part  of  the  actress.  He  felt  as  if  he  was  in  the  presence 
of  an  old  acquaintance,  with  whom  he  had  been  long  upon 
terms  of  intimacy;  and  not  only  so,  but  she  was,  in  his 
opinion,  decidedly  the  most  gifted  and  the  most  beautiful 
woman  it  had  ever  been  his  good  fortune  to  converse  with. 
And  hence,  w^hatever  might  have  been  his  promises  to 
Molly,  whatever  might  have  been  his  secret  resolutions  in 
reference  to  the  habit  of  falling  in  love  with  every  hand- 
some girl  he  met,  and  which  had  in  more  than  one  instance 
subjected  him  to  disappointment  and  mortification,  he 
found  himself  now"  taken  by  surprise — caught  napping — 
and  he  felt  that  he  was  quite  ready  to  surrender  his  heart 
at  discretion  to  the  bright  and  beautiful  being  beside  him. 
All  his  ills,  as  if  by  some  magical  process  of  sponging, 
were  obliterated  from  his  memory.  Molly  and  Polly  were 
both,  for  the  time  being,  torn  up  by4he  roots  from  his 
breast  and  thrown  overboard.     Miss  D.  was  the  angel  of 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  327 

his  paradise ;  and,  being  in  a  fine  humour,  she  smiled 
kindly  on  him,  ever  conscious  of  her  own  safety,  but  not 
always  aware  of  the  wounds  she  inflicted  upon  others. 

Nap  took  up  the  thread  of  his  narrative  at  the  point  of 
their  separatibn  in  Philadelphia,  and  omitted  none  of  his 
adventures  from  that  day  to  the  time  of  his  meeting  with 
Miss  D.,  except  a  few  nocturnal  incidents  which  he  was 
ashamed  of. 

"And  so  you  are  rich,  now !  I  am  rejoiced  to  hear  it ! 
And  Molly  would  not  have  you?  It  is  strange — mostwon- 
derful.  She  must  indeed  be  an  extraordinary  girl,  and 
worthy  of  being  wooed  and  won." 

"But  I  will  not  seek  her  any  more.  I  would  not,  I  am 
sure,  if  I  thought" 

"She  would  not  perform  her  promise,"  continued  Miss 
D.,  half  abstractedly,  "because  another  had  once  made 
an  impression  on  your  heart.  Was  it  really  wise  in  her 
to  act  thus  ?  They  say  such  impressions  are  involuntarily 
received.  And  if  you  had  never  met  with  Polly,  and  had 
been  wedded  to  Molly,  what  reason  could  she  have  to  pre- 
sume some  other  lady,  superior  in  every  way  to  herself, 
might  not  have  made  an  impression  on  her  husband  after 
marriage  ?  Every  thing  of  that  nature  must  depend 
upon  the  wife.  Then,  self-reliant,  why  did  she  not  wed 
you?" 

"  She  could  not  argue  the  case  as  ably  as  you  do,"  said 
Nap;  "but  I  should  not  be  sorry  she  acted  as  she  did, 
provided  I  might  have  only  the  slightest  hope,  the  least 
encouragement" 

"And  the  other — what  do  you  think  will  be  her  course?" 
continued  Miss  D.,  unheeding  what  Nap  was  saying,  or 
wishing  to  say. 

"  I  suppose  she  will  put  me  off  again,  because  I  renewed 
my  proposal  to  Molly.     But  if" - 

"  Then,  between  Polly  and  Molly,  you  are  to  have  no 
wife.  It  is  an  anomaly.  You  are  willing  to  marry  either 
of  them ;  either  of  them  would  marry  you  were  the  other 


828  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

away,  or  finally  disposed  of!  It  is  a  curious  affair.  An 
amusing  comedy  might  be  founded  on  it,  if  we  had  any 
real  dramatists." 

"  But  I  will  relinquish  both.  I  will  never  see  either  of 
them  again,  if  you  will  only  have  me.  Myself,  and  all  I 
possess,  I  offer  for  your  acceptance." 

"Mercy  on  me  !  No  wonder  neither  of  them  will  have 
you.     Fate  reserved  you  for  me." 

"Do  you  say  so?" 

"  I  said  so.  But  I  was  precipitate.  Yet  I  would  not 
fear  what  other  ladies  could  do  to  my  husband.  But  I  am 
already  wedded." 

"  It  ain't  possible  !  You  don't  say  so  !"  exclaimed  Nap, 
rising. 

"  Sit  down,  and  I  will  tell  you.  It  is  not  to  any  man, 
but  to  all" 

^'What?" 

"I  mean  the  praises  of  all.  I  am  wedded  to  my  pro- 
fession. I  must  win  the  highest  distinction,  achieve  the 
greatest  triumph,  in  the  line  I  have  adopted.  It  might 
have  been  different  before  I  embarked  in  the  pursuit  of 
fame" 

"  But  will  you  never  marry  a  man  ?" 

"  I  may.  But  it  must  be  one  capable  of  facilitating  my 
progress  to  the  nich  I  aspire  to  in  the  temple  of  fame." 

"And  might  I  not  do  it?" 

"  No.  Let  me  be  candid  with  you.  Listen.  Our  affec- 
tions should  not  be  divided,  else  conflicts  would  ensue. 
You  would  love  me  too  well,  and  I  would  be  devoted  only 
to  my  profession.  I  must  have  one  in  love  with  my  fame 
more  than  with  my  person.  One  capable  of  sympathizing 
with  me  in  my  longings  and  my  triumphs.     One" 

"  But  could  you  not  retire  from  the  stage  ?  I  would 
have  sufficient  fortune" 

"To  buy  your  wife  a  few  useless  diamonds,  perhaps. 
Retire  ?  No,  sir !  You  know  not  the  many  sleepless 
nights  through  which  I  have  feverishly  tossed,  the  long  days 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  329 

of  toil  through  which  I  have  struggled,  and  the  almost 
insuperable  difficulties  I  have  painfully  surmounted,  to 
reach  the  eminence  I  now  enjoy.  To  abandon  the  pursuit 
at  this  epoch  in  my  life,  would  be  like  a  relinquishment  of 
my  existence  !  I  am  just  beginning  to  carve  my  name 
on  the  eternal  cliffs.  I  will  not  scratch  it  out  and  substi- 
tute another's  in  its  place.  I  will  complete  the  inscrip- 
tion"  

"You  can  do  it  easily,  and  it  will  remain  for  ever!" 
cried  Nap,  blazing  with  enthusiasm. 

"  Not  easily.  No,  not  easily.  The  world  supposes  that 
the  gift  of  genius  bestowed  by  nature  is  the  summum 
bonum.  It  is  not  so.  Untiring  energy,  indomitable  for- 
titude, the  will  to  do,  the  power  to  bear,  are  indispensably 
necessary.  They  think  it  requires  no  exertion  for  me  to 
pass  triumphantly  through  my  role  !  That  it  is  nothing  to 
bear  the  frowns  of  the  envious  and  detracting  of  my  own 
sex — to  hear  the  awful  denunciations  of  the  clergy,  who 
repeat  the  same  words  of  the  poet  in  the  pulpit  that  I  do 
on  the  stage — to  be  shut  out  from  heaven,  and  shunned 
on  earth" 

"I  seek  you!  Who  shuns  you?  Let  any  one  dare  to  do 
it!"  cried  Nap,  with  extraordinary  zeal  and  heroic  emo- 
tion, the  effect  of  the  inspiration  he  had  caught. 

"These,  then,  are  the  sacrifices,"  continued  the  actress, 
unheeding  the  interruption,  "  which  must  be  submitted  to 
by  those  who  would  have  their  names  repeated  and 
achievements  admired  by  future  generations.  And  all  the 
days  of  one's  life,  and  all  the  faculties  of  one's  mind,  will 
alone  suffice  to  win  the  prize.  No  disappointments  must 
dishearten,  no  ill  success  deter  the  one  embarked  in  the 
pursuit  of  fame  from  renewed  attempts  to  win  the  admira- 
tion of  mankind." 

"I,  too,  will  w^in  immortal  fame!"  said  Nap.  "I  will 
accompany  you  in  the  steep  ascent !" 

"  Impossible  !  You  know  not  what  slight  impediments 
may  defeat  one  in  the  pursuit  of  his  most  cherished  object ! 

28* 


330  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

Oh,  the  caprices  of  the  public  are  infinite  and  ineradica- 
ble !  Your  form,  the  mere  shape  of  your  foot,  the  magni- 
tude of  your  hand,  would  be  sufficient  to  cause  your  con- 
demnation." 

Nap  scanned  his  bulky  chest,  his  enormous  hands  and 
feet,  and  felt  that  such  remarks  were  unkind,  even  if  well 
intended. 

"  But  if  I  cannot  be  a  celebrated  actor,  may  I  not  be- 
come a  successful  author?" 

"Have  you  a  genius  for  poetry?  a  talent  for  prose? 
Have  you  ever  written  a  play  which  was  repeated  in  repre- 
sentation without  the  aid  of  influential  friends  ?  Have  you 
published  a  work  whose  merits  alone  caused  repeated  edi- 
tions to  be  issued,  without  concerting  with  the  critics  to 
have  it  simultaneously  puffed  at  an  enormous  expense?" 

<'No,  I  never  did.  I  have  never  written  any  thing  for 
publication,  except  a  few  trifles  which  were  not  accepted. 
But  I  may  have  genius  and  talent  nevertheless,  which 
have  remained  hitherto  undiscovered,  like  the  gold  of 
California." 

"  Have  you  read  every  thing  within  your  reach  ?" 

"I  have.  Shakspeare,  Goldsmith,  Tom  Jones,  Hum- 
phrey Clinker,  and  the  St.  Louis  Republican." 

"I  mean  thousands  of  volumes.  Have  you  travelled 
over  the  world  and  beheld  all  the  wonders  of  art  and 
nature?  Have  you  mingled  with  society,  from  princes 
down  to  robbers  and  cut-throats?" 

"No,  I  have  not!" 

"  Then  you  cannot  be  a  successful  author,  unless  your 
genius  be  of  that  extraordinary  kind  which  supplies  every 
deficiency  of  learning  and  experience  by  intuition.  And, 
besides  all  I  have  enumerated,  you  should  have  a  personal 
acquaintance  with  the  literati  of  the  country.  You  should 
be  familiar  with  the  manners,  the  habits  of  thought,  the 
modes  of  dress,  and  all  the  peculiarities  and  infinite  petti* 
nesseg  of  fashionable  society  in  the  cities.  And  then  all 
your  acquirements,  all  your  labour  may  be  in  vain.     Your 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  331 

book  may  be  successful.  But  success  itself  has  its  mise- 
ries, and  its  fruits  are  not  always  reaped  by  the  one  who 
achieves  it.  The  cupidity  of  some  reckless  publisher  may 
rob  you  of  your  reward.  He  will  steal  your  title,  append 
it  to  some  other  work  of  which  he  may  have  defrauded 
another  author,  and  by  placing  it  in  the  hands  of  thou- 
sands, enrich  himself,  and  deprive  you  of  a  well-earned 
distinction.  Such  things  have  been  done  in  our  own  land 
as  well  as  in  others,  while  the  indifferent  millions  have 
remained  in  profound  ignorance  of  the  injustice  that  has 
been  perpetrated." 

"  I  would  sue  the  rascal." 

"  And  what  would  you  recover  ?  A  mere  valueless 
judgment  of  the  court — a  verdict  in  your  favour,  but  the 
damage  still  to  be  sustained  by  yourself.  No.  You  were 
not  born  to  achieve  either  literary  or  histrionic  fame,  or 
else  there  would  have  been  some  manifestations  of  your 
mission  before  this.  You  would  have  grappled  with  im- 
possibilities, and  although  ever  defeated,  you  would  have 
still  been  planning  new  enterprises,  for  the  very  love  of 
such  desperate  encounters,  and  not  merely  for  the  sake  of 
indulging  an  idle  passion  for  a  poor  fading  object  like  my- 
self.    I  said  I  would  be  candid  with  you.     I  have  been." 

"You  have,  indeed,"  said  Nap. 

"  And  will  be.  More  than  fifty  young  gentlemen  like 
yourself,  engaged  in  respectable  and  lucrative  occupations, 
for  which  nature  and  their  education  qualified  them,  have 
made  similar  proposals  to  me,  and  have  been  tempted  to 
embark  in  new  and  seemingly  fascinating  pursuits,- for  my 
sake,  and  for  the  gratification  of  their  own  romantic 
impulses.  It  is  the  evil  of  the  age  that  men  are  deficient 
in  stability,  and  are  ever  engaging  in  novel  enterprises  for 
w^hich  they  possess  not  the  first  requisite.  To  all  such  my 
advice  has  been — Remain  what  you  are — adhere  to  the 
pursuit  you  have  adopted,  and  continue  in  it  to  the  end. 
Success  in  any  business  will  bring  distinction,  if  that 
be  your   object;   and   success  may  certainly  be  won  by 


332  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

perseverance.  You  can  have  no  idea  of  the  number  of 
disappointed  and  degraded  adventurers  I  have  met  with  in 
the  Eastern  cities.  Young  men  of  education  and  family, 
in  consequence  of  some  defect  in  person  or  speech,  or 
stricken  with  incurable  embarrassment  by  a  wanton  hiss, 
remain  poor,  insignificant  supernumeraries  on  the  stage,  at 
a  salary  of  some  three  or  four  dollars  per  week — the  fre- 
quenters of  oyster-cellars,  unnoticed  in  society,  and  avoid- 
ed by  their  relatives  !  When,  if  they  had  steadily  pursued 
some  branch  of  business  for  which  they  were  abundantly 
qualified,  no  doubt  they  might  have  achieved  fortunes, 
enjoyed  respectable  positions  in  the  community,  and 
reaped  the  bliss  of  being  the  heads  of  happy  families  in 
domestic  life.  And  so  with  many  literary  aspirants. 
After  spending  upon  printers  and  paper-merchants  the 
poor  sum  with  which  they  first  set  out,  and  finding  no 
adequate  return  in  the  accounts  rendered  by  the  publishers, 
they  often  become  the  dependent  and  pitiable  attaches  of 
the  press — gleaners  of  scandal,  fabricators  of  puffs,  often 
of 'Unworthy  and  pernicious  subjects;  or  compilers  for 
indigent  or  avaricious  booksellers,  the  sycophants  of  great 
men,  the  parasites  of  popular  but  unintellectual  singers 
and  dancers,  and  the  slaves  of  unlearned  and  unappreciat- 
ing  taskmasters  !     Would  you  be  one  of  these  ?" 

"Me  ?  I'd  see  them  all  to  the  devil  first!"  said  Nap, 
who  had  weighed  every  word  that  fell  from  the  lips  of  the 
inspired  monitress.  "But  I  would  not  be  a  penniless 
adventurer.     I  have  a  fortune." 

"  How  much  money  have  you  ?" 

"  By  the  end  of  the  year,  I  might  raise  more  than  twenty 
thousand  dollars." 

"  That  amount  might  sufiice  for  a  single  year.  You 
would  be  victimized  at  last.  Schemes  would  be  formed 
by  those  with  whom  you  would  associate,  which  would, 
sooner  or  later,  deprive  you  of  your  fortune,  and  then 
you  could  never  accumulate  any  more.  I  have  known 
SUCH  instances      One  may  be  exceeding  smart  and  sue- 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  333 

cessful  at  home,  but  extremely  ignorant  abroad.  He  may 
be  a  novice  among  those  whose  lives  have  been  spent  in 
acquiring  the  skill  to  win  the  fortunes  of  just  such  victims. 
Remember  Pike  and  De  Coy." 

/  "Egad,  neither  of  them  injured  me  much!"  said  Nap, 
triumphantly. 

"  No ;  chance  favoured  you.  But  fortune  is  fickle.  In 
a  thousand  instances  of  similar  indulgences  you  would 
lose  nine  hundred  and  ninety-nine  times.  Your  success 
in  passing  unscathed  through  their  hands  was  not  owing  to 
any  skill  or  wisdom  of  your  own.  It  was  the  <  tide'  in 
your  (■  affairs ;'  take  it,  and  let  it  lead  you  «on  to  fortune.' 
Such  is  my  advice.     Are  you  offended  ?" 

"No,  indeed!  It  is  good  advice,  and  I  will  follow 
it." 

"Do  so,  and  you  will  not  regret  it.  And  remember 
me  kindly" 


"  That  I  will !  you  are  the  greatest" 

"No  flattery.  But  I  would  have  your  good  opinion. 
You  may  serve  me.  One's  fame  is  in  the  hands  of  the 
people.  If  they  approve,  partial  critics  may  in  vain  vent 
their  detraction.  If  they  condemn,  no  system  of  puffing 
can  long  avail.  When  my  name  is  mentioned  in  your 
presence  by  some  one  who  may  be  actuated  by  splenetic 
prejudice" 

" I'll  knock  him  down!"  said  Nap,  doubling  up  his  fist. 

"  No ;  I  do  not  ask  that.  But  simply  say  I  was  once  a 
poor,  unfriended  American  girl,  striving  to  rise  in  her 
profession  in  spite  of  the  combined  efforts  of  the  foreigners 
who  monopolized  the  theatres  of  her  native  land.  Say 
she  succeeded — that  she  won  both  fame  and  fortune — 
that  she  was  never  a  victim  of  the  vices  supposed  to  be 
inseparable  from  the  profession  she  adopted.  Simply 
speak  of  me  thus,  and  I  will  thank  you.     Farewell." 

"If  I  don't" here   Nap's   utterance   failed   him; 

and  before  he  could  recover  from  the  choking  sensation 
which  oppressed  him.  Miss  J),  had  vanished. 


334  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

On  the  next  day  our  party  arrived  at  St.  Louis.  Nap 
and  Jack  found  there  the  goods  they  had  bought  in  Phila- 
delphia, which  Messrs.  T.  &  Co.  were  about  to  send  up  the 
Missouri  river.  Those  belonging  to  Nap,  however,  were 
held  under  advisement,  inasmuch  as  the  lawyer  employed 
by  Messrs.  Block  &  Tackle,  and  who  had  been  up  to 
Venice  for  the  purpose  of  purchasing  Nap's  real  estate, 
was  endeavouring  to  procure  a  writ  of  attachment  with 
which  to  seize  them.  This  both  Mr.  T.,  and  Mr.  Wm.  M. 
M.,  the  friend  of  the  Handys,  resisted,  and  had  succeeded 
so  far  in  preventing  the  seizure.  None  of  them  had  been 
informed  of  the  fact  that  the  goods  bought  of  Messrs.  B. 
&  T.  were  lost  on  board  the  North  Star  in  Lake  Erie. 
The  loss  of  the  vessel  was  known  to  all,  but  the  names  of 
the  parties  interested  had  not  transpired. 

"And  now,  Nap,"  said  Mr.  M.,  after  relating  what  had 
been  done,  or  rather  attempted  by  the  lawyer,  "  in  the  pro- 
gress of  this  business,  if  you  should  require  a  reference 
to  satisfy  the  judge,  or  even  an  endorser  on  any  document 
to  which  you  may  affix  your  own  signature,  remember  that 
I  am  your  friend,  and  will  take  pleasure  in  serving  you." 

"Thank  you  I  thank  you!"  exclaimed  the  grateful 
Nap ;  "  but  I  have  a  document  here  which  will  quash  the 
jack-lawyer's  proceedings."  He  placed  the  despatch  in 
Mr.  M.'s  hands. 

"  True !  this  will  put  an  end  to  his  application.  I 
know  Mr.  R.,  and  would  venture  my  all  upon  the  truth  of 
his  statement.  Let  me  take  this  to  the  judge.  Give 
yourself  no  further  uneasiness  about  the  matter;  but 
consider  it  as  finally  disposed  of."    '. 

This  conversation  took  place  on  board  the  Western 
Merchant,  a  few  minutes  after  she  had  landed  at  the  wharf. 
Just  above  lay  the  Clendenin,  a  fine  packet,  which  was  to 
leave  for  the  Missouri  river  that  day.  Jack  and  Kate 
took  passage  on  the  C,  and  Nap  was  to  join  them,  pro- 
vided his  goods  could  be  got  on  board  before  the  time  of 
starting. 


OF  A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  335 

Nap  lost  no  time  in  calling  upon  Messrs.  D.  T.  &  Co. 
Already  Mr.  M.  had  been  there  with  the  informa'tion  that 
the  application  for  a  writ  of  attachment  had  been  dis- 
missed ;  and  then  the  goods  were  sent  down  to  the  Clen- 
denin  without  further  delay. 

There  was  also  a  letter  at  the  counting-room  of  Messrs. 
D.  T.  &  Co.,  awaiting  Nap's  arrival,  and  one  from  Joseph 
Handy  for  Jack.  Nap's  was  from  the  ever-faithful  Jim, 
who  crowded  a  superabundance  of  anathemas  in  his  page 
on  the,  "jack-lawyer,"  who  had  lately  been  hinting  some- 
thing about  "security."  Jim  said  he  had  sufficient  funds 
not  only  to  pay  the  freights,  but  was  likewise  enabled  (as 
he  did)  to  enclose  a  draft  to  Nap  at  St;  Louis  for  five 
hundred  dollars,  which  he  had  bought  of  a  tobacco  factor. 
"Buy  groceries,"  said  Jim,  "and  let'em  (the  lawyers, 
perhaps)  rip !" 

Jack's  letter,  which  Nap  carried  to  him,  was  quite 
satisfactory  also.  The  purchases  his  brother  wished  him 
to  make  were  despatched  in  time  for  the  boat.  His 
brother  congratulated  Nap  (supposing  the  young  men 
would  be  together)  on  his  marriage  with  Molly,  and  stated 
he  had  heard  a  rumour  that  morning  of  Polly  Hopkins 
being  married  to  a  schoolmaster  in  the  vicinity  of  Venice  ! 
Poor  Nap  reddened  and  paled  alternately  and  in  quick  suc- 
cession. He  knew  not  what  to  say  or  do  ;  and  so  he  strode 
backward  and  forward  and  whistled.  It  was  no  sort  of 
a  tune.  It  merely  inflated  his  cheeks  and  projected  his 
eyes.  Jack  was  too  much  occupied  with  his  own  thoughts 
to  watch  him  narrowly.  Joseph  had  not  heard  of  his 
marriage  with  Kate,  and  he  wondered  how  he  would  feel 
and  look  when  he  learned  that  Nap  had  met  with  disap- 
pointment, and  he  with  unexpected  success.  He  knew  that 
Joseph  would  approve  the  match,  for  it  was  a  good  one  in 
every  respect.  But  he  doubted  whether  his  brother  would 
cheerfully  sanction  his  pledge  to  wind  up  his  business  and 
leave  the  State. 
^l^'.The  young  merchants   succeeded  in  getting  all  their 


336 


LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 


goods  on  board  before  the  boat  started.  Freights  were 
not  very  abundant,  and  the  captain  generously  delayed  a 
few  hours  to  accommodate  his  friends.  Western  steam- 
boat captains  are  generally  disposed  thus  to  accommodate 
shippers ;  and  they  have  been  known  to  carry  this  sort  of 
complaisance  a  whole  day  beyond  the  hour  appointed  for 
starting. 

In  due  time,  however,  for  the  Clendenin  was  an  excel- 
lent boat,  Nap  stepped  ashore  at  Venice,  and  his  goods 
w^ere  tumbled  out  after  him.  Although  it  was  a  fine  bright 
morning,  Nap  could  scarcely  recognise  his  own  town — the 
town  he  himself  had  founded.  The  sounds  of  hammers 
were  heard  in  all  directions.  Trees  had  been  felled,  bushes 
cleared  off,  and  houses  were  springing  up  on  all  the  lots  he 
had  given  away  or  sold.  The  court-house  was  almost 
completed,  and  had  cost  the  county  seven  thousand  dollars  ! 
Even  Sam  Marsh  had  erected  an  addition  to  his  inn,  and 
built  another  stable.  More  than  half  a  dozen  mechanics 
had  set  up  their  shops  in  the  place ;  and  Mr.  Rhino,  the 
Jew  merchant,  had  built  a  wareroom  on  the  rear  of  his  lot. 
A  spirit  of  speculation  and  improvement  was  rife,  and 
there  had  been  such  an  increase  of  population  in  a  few 
months,  that  Nap  declared  he  felt  like  a  stranger,  although 
standing  on  his  own  premises. 

"  Let  'em  rip  !"  said  Jim.  "  They'll  make  your  fortune 
for  you.  But  I  wish  that  double-purple,  madder-dyed 
Jew  hadn't  come  here." 

"Never  mind  him,  Jim;  we'll  soon  take  .the  wind  out 
of  his  sails,"  responded  Nap,  confidently. 

"  I  don't  know  how  we'll  do  it." 

'<He  bought  his  goods  in  St.  Louis,  and  paid  twenty 
per  cent,  more  for  them  than  I  did  for  mine." 

i'  That  makes  no  difference." 

"It  don't?" 

"No,  not  a  durned  bit.  He  don't  mark  the  cost  on  his 
goods.  If  we  sell  calico  for  twelve  and  a  half  cents  a 
yard,  he'll  sell  the  same  for  a  dime.     That's  his  rule ;  his 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  337 

clerk  told  me  so.  No  matter  what  his  goods  cost  him,  he's 
going  to  sell  them  lower  than  anybody  else." 

"He'll  make  no  profit  then.*' 

"  I  don't  know.  May  he  he  don't  intend  to  pay  for  his 
goods." 

"We'll  see  in  a  few  months." 

This  conversation  took  place  as  they  walked  from  the 
river  toward  the  store,  and  while  the  wagoners  were  en- 
gaged in  transporting  the  goods  just  landed  to  the  ware- 
room.  Nap  was  anxious  to  learn  something  specific  in  re- 
lation to  Polly's  wedding,  but  dreaded  to  inquire;  and 
Jim's  thoughts  being  launched  in  a  different  channel,  he 
did  not  impart  any  information  on  the  subject. 

But  as  our  poor  unfortunate  lover  had  regarded  the 
rumour  as  well-founded,  and  had  meditated  on  it,  and  had 
dreamt  about  it,  as  a  "fixed  fact,"  to  quote  Mr.  Gushing, 
it  was  not  impossible  for  him,  considering  his  susceptibi- 
lities, to  turn  his  heart's  back  on  an  old  lover  and  look 
out  for  a  new  one.  The  new  one,  he  thought,  should  be 
money ;  and  for  several  days  and  nights  the  only  images 
of  women  that  crossed  his  imagination,  whether  sleeping  or 
waking,  were  the  forms  of  Molly  and  Polly,  going  in  dif- 
ferent directions,  and  both  retiring  from  his  presence,  while 
there  arose  at  his  feet  a  most  extraordinary  "pile"  of 
dollars. 

All  the  first  day  after  the  arrival  of  the  Clendenin,  and 
much  of  the  night,  Nap  and  his  faithful  Jim  were  em- 
ployed in  wrenching  off  the  tops  of  boxes  and  marking'  the 
new  goods.  During  this  operation.  Nap  was  continually 
interrupted  by  the  "welcomes  back"  and  congratulations 
of  his  friends.  Indeed,  friend  and  foe  seemed  alike  to 
press  forward  and  seize  his  hand.  A  merchant  is  always 
popular  when  opening  fresh  goods,  and  a  short  absence 
from  home  is  a  great  reconciler  of  differences  in  the  West. 
If  Nap  had  remained  at  Venice,  some  of  his  enemies 
would  never  have  forgiven  him ;  but  now  Jack  Grove  and 
Brother  Keene  were  the  first  to  shake  his  hand  in  token  of 

29 


/ 


/ 


338  LIFE    AND    ADVENTURES 

a  perfect  reconciliation.  Even  Moses  Rhino,  the  Jew 
merchant,  and  his  next-door  competitor,  pressed  forward 
and  greeted  him  in  a  very  friendly  manner. 

Nap  bore  all  this  as  well  as  he  could,  although  it  seemed 
to  him  that  he  was  the  most  popular  man.  Colonel  Benton 
excepted,  that  ever  crossed  the  slough.  He  absolutely 
strove  to  repress  his  vanity,  for  he  had  learned  a  few 
lessons  during  his  absence.  But  now  he  was  lord  of  almost 
all  he  surveyed,  and  it  was  quite  impossible  for  him  to 
avoid  feeling  something  like  a  lord.  Sometimes,  indeed, 
he  felt  an  inclination  to  be  somewhat  of  a  tyrant.  He 
did  not  like  the  flags  or  signs  hung  out  at  the  door  of  the 
Jew,  and  he  wauld  have  compelled  him,  if  it  had  been  in 
his  power,  to  change  them.  They  were  precisely  similar 
to  Nap's.  If  Jim  put  out  a  pennant  of  red  flannel,  or  a 
streamer  of  blue  calico,  to  let  the  travellers  know  they 
Avere  passing  through  a  town  w^hich  had  its  store,  Bhino 
did  the  same,  only  he  displayed  a  few  more  yards  of  each. 
If  Jim  put  on  the  box  beside  his  door  a  frying-pan.  Rhino 
had  two  on  his.  And  this  was  not  all.  Rhino  had  the 
front  of  his  store  modelled  and  finished  in  exact  imitation 
of  Nap's,  so  that  many  persons  from  distant  parts  of  the 
country  fell  unconsciously  into  the  clutches  of  the  Jew. 
He  never  undeceived  them.  On  the  contrary,  when  several 
one  day  asked,  "Is  this  Mr.  Wax's?"  he  replied,  with  a 
slight  mental  reservation,  "  Yes*h,  dish  Mr.  Wax's  blace," 
and  then  sold  them  their  goods. 

Opposed,  or  undermined  in  this  manner,  there  Tvas  reason 
in  Jim's  enmity,  and  there  was  danger  that  Nap's  popu- 
larity might  wane.  Perhaps  there  is  nothing  so  well 
calculated  to  injuire  a  merchant's  popularity  as  for  his 
neighbour  to  undersell  him.  One's  dearest  friends,  even 
one's  own  kindred,  will  leave  their  dollars  on  his  competi- 
tors counter,  if  he  gives  the  most  "pork  for  a  shilling." 
But  Nap's  equanimity  could  not  be  easily  disturbed.  His 
goods,  his  house,  his  town  were  all  paid  for,  and  he  had 
advices  from  Mr.  R.,  informing  him  that  there  remained  in 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  839 

his  hands  a  handsome  sum  of  money,  after  paying  all  his 
debts,  subject  to  his  order.  If  the  money  should  not  be 
drawn  out,  six  per  cent,  interest  would  be  allowed  him,  as 
was  the  usual  custom  of  the  house. 

And  so,  when  Nap  found  himself  idle,  while  his  shelves 
were  filled  with  new  goods,  and  while  Rhino's  store  was 
crowded  with  men  and  women,  buying  at  low  prices, 
he  crossed  his  hands  behind  his  back,  as  he  had  seen  some 
capitalist  do,  and  walked  with  deliberate  step,  proud 
eye,  and  triumphant  lip,  over  his  extensive  grounds,  now 
staked  off  in  lots,  many  of  which  were  worth  fully  $100 
apiece,  although  half  of  them,  from  the  efi'ects  of  recent 
rains,  and  the  level  nature  of  the  ground,  were  covered 
with  water  an  inch  or  so  in  depth. 

The  slight  inundation,  and  the  high  winds  which  pre- 
vailed in  the  spring,  had  brought  upon  the  premises  an  im- 
mense quantity  of  snipe,  while  hundreds  of  wild  ducks 
were  heard  quacking  at  the  mouth  of  the  slough,  where 
there  was  a  great  depth  of  water.  These  arrivals  did  not 
fail  to  attract  the  notice  of  Nap.  Ever  since  he  had  be- 
held Uncle  Billy  knocking  down  the  birds  on  the  wing,  he 
had  determined  to  become  a  good  shot  himself ;  and  for 
this  purpose  he  had  bought  a  fine  gun  of  Messrs.  S.  &  S., 
for  his  own  use,  and  had  procured  a  book  on  sporting  from 
Messrs.  L.,  G.  &  Co.,  which  he  studied  at  intervals  on  the 
steamboats. 

Thus  armed  and  instructed,  Nap  strode  by  the  inn  toward 
the  river. 

"W-wh-where  a-are  yo-you  go-going?"  asked  Sam 
Marsh,  who  stood  near  the  stable,  holding  his  jackass  by 
the  ear,  and  which  was  struggling  to  get  away. 

"  To  shoot  some  birds  for  dinner,"  said  Nap. 

<'  S-sn-sni-snipe  ?" 

"Yes,  snipe.  There  are  flocks  of  them  on  the  flat  lots 
near  the  mouth  of  the  slough." 

"I  k-kn-know  th-that.  But  they'll  f-fl-fly  b-be-be- 
fore  you  can  s-se-see  'em.     I  tri-tried  it  yes-yesterday 


340  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

witli  my  0-ol-old  m-mu-musket,  but  d-did-didn't  get  a 
s-sh-shot  at  'em.  I  cou-couldn't  s-se-see  'em  in  the 
g-gr-grass,  but  they  s-sa-saw  me  and  f-fl-flew.  They 
s-sa-sail  round  and  p-po-pounoe  down  again  out  of 
r-re-ach.     It's  no  u-us-use  to  t-tr-try  'em." 

"How  near  did  they  fly  to  you  ?" 

"  S-so-sometimes  I  g-go-got  in  twenty  s-st-steps  of 
'em  before  they  f-fl-flew  ;  but  I  c-c-cou-couldn't  s-se-see 
any  on  the  g-gr-ground,  unless  they  were  r-ru-running, 
and  I  knew  I  cou-could-couldn't  k-ki-kill  'em  no  more  that 
w-way  th-than  when  they  were  fly-flying." 

"  Tell  Mrs.  Marsh  I'll  bring  her  birds  enough  for  din- 
ner. I  intend  to  shoot  them  on  the  wing.  Didn't  you 
hear  me  practising  a  while  ago?" 

«'  I  he-heard  you  s-sh-sooting.  What  did  you  k-ki- 
kill?" 

"Nothing.  But  I  hit  the  turnip  Jim  threw  up  for 
me.  I'm  a  good  shot  on  the  wing — a  snap  shot,  as  they 
say.  You'll  see,  provided  they  fly  within  forty  yards  of 
me."  And  Nap  proceeded  on  his  way,  unheeding  the  in- 
credulous looks  of  the  innkeeper.  He  had  not  gone  two 
hundred  yards  before  the  birds  began  to  fly  up.  He  was 
not  quite  in  readiness  to  fire.  He  watched  them  well, 
however,  and  marked  where  they  pitched  upon  the  ground. 
He  then  approached  in  a  stooping  attitude,  his  gun 
cocked,  and  his  fingers  on  the  triggers.  Presently  a  cloud 
of  them  arose.  Perhaps  there  were  several  hundred  in 
the  flock.  And  as  they  were  within  the  prescribed  dis- 
tance. Nap  threw  up  his  gun  and  fired  both  barrels.  He 
was  stunned  by  the  rebound,  and  blinded  by  the  smoke, 
for  he  had  put  in  extra  charges.  When  the  atmosphere 
became  clear,  and  he  had  recovered  from  the  shock,  he 
had  the  satisfaction  of  beholding  several  of  the  birds  lying 
on  the  grass  with  their  white  bellies  upward.  What  had 
become  of  the  flock  he  did  not  know.  He  did  not  mark 
them.  So,  in  accordance  with  a  rule  of  Western  gun- 
ners, which  he  happened  to  remember,  he  proceeded  to 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MEECIIANT.  341 

* 

recharge  his  gun  before  moving  on  again.  This  done,  he 
stepped  forward  briskly  to  pick  up  his  birds,  resolving  in 
his  mind  to  boast  of  having  killed  them  on  the  wing,  which 
was  literally  true.  But  scarcely  a  tithe  of  his  success 
had  yet  been  revealed  to  him.  As  he  proceeded,  other 
dead  birds  met  his  astonished  vision.  They  lay  strewn 
over  a  space  of  ground  in  the  direction  he  had  fired  for 
fifty  yards :  he  picked  up  no  less  than  twenty-seven,  and 
among  them  there  were  six  varieties,  embracing  from  the 
smallest  to  the  largest  specimens.* 

«'  That  was  a  great  shot !"  soliloquized  Nap,  regarding 
the  birds  piled  on  the  ground  before  him.  He  then  tied 
them  all  by  the  necks  with  a  string,  having  neglected  to 
procure  a  game-bag,  and  drew  near  the  mouth  of  the 
slough,  where  he  had  a  shot  at  a  large  flock  of  ducks.  He 
killed  five,  but  was  unable  to  get  them,  having  neither  dog 
nor  boat. 

'(■  I'll  send  Sam  for  them,"  said  he,  charging  his  gun, 
and  watching  the  death-struggles  of  his  victims.  Then 
turning  his  face  homeward,  he  had  not  gone  far  before  he 
encountered  the  flock  of  snipe  again,  and  once  more  he 
ventured  to  discharge  both  barrels  at  them,  notwithstand- 
ing his  shoulder  had  been  so  severely  punished  before. 
This  time  he  sufl'ered  very  much,  for  he  had  previously 
been  considerably  bruised.  He  had  not  yet  learned  to 
charge  his  gun  with  the  right  proportions  of  powder  and 
lead.  Immediately  after  he  fired,  his  ears  were  saluted 
with  the  cries  of  Sam  Marsh's  jackass,  which  brayed  voci- 
ferously, and  ran  across  the  lot  in  the  rear  of  the  inn  to 
where  Sam  was  standing.  Nap  gathered  up  the  snipe  as 
he  advanced,  and  found  he  had  slaughtered  almost  as  manj 
as  he  did  the  first  time. 

"What's  the  matter  with  the  jack?"  he  asked,  as  he 
drew  near  to  Marsh,  who  was  caressing  the  animal. 


*  The  author  killed  fifteen,  one  morning,  in  Missouri,  (but  only  one 
at  a  time,)  and  there  were  five  different  sizes  among  them. 

29* 


342  •  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

"  Ha-hanged  if  vou  haven't  s-sli-sliot  him,  N-N-Nap !" 

i'  Shot  him  I     I  shot  him  ?" 

<' Yes,  d-dtirn  him,  and  I'm  g-gl-glad  of  it.  I've  cow- 
cowhided  him,  I've  c-cl-clubbed  him,  and  ne-never  could 
l_le-learn  him  to  co-come  to  me.  B-but  a  few  s-sh- 
shot  in  his  r-ru-rump  has  done  his  b-bus-business.  He's 
as  g-gentle  now  as  a  s-sh-sheep." 

<•<■  But  I  shot  at  the  snipe,  and  killed  about  twenty.  Here 
they  are." 

"  Some  of  the  s-sh-shot  h-hi-hit  him  on  the  b-bu-butt. 
Don't  you  s-se-see  the  b-bl-blood?" 

"  I  do  so.    I'm  sorry  for  it,  Sam.    I  didn't  go  to  do  it." 

Sam  told  him  not  to  mind  it.  They  didn't  go  through 
his  skin.  It  was  as  thick  as  a  bull's  hide.  The  shot  only 
frightened  him,  as  he  couldn't  understand  how  he  had  been 
punished.  He  couldn't  see  what  hurt  him,  and  that  con- 
quered him.  Sam  said  if  he  had  hit  him  with  a  bar  of 
iron,  he'd  a-kicked  up  at  him  and  run  away;  and  ended 
by  declaring  the  next  time  his  jack  wouldn't  come  to  him, 
he'd  get  Nap  to  pepper  him  again. 

Nap  agreed  to  do  it.  And  as  he  walked  toward  the 
store,  he  could  not  help  reflecting  that  there  was  something 
like  a  fatality  to  dumb  brutes  connected  with  his  sporting 
excursions,  for  he  had  shot  two  bitches  and  a  jackass  on 
such  occasions.  As  he  entered  his  own  store,  he  saw 
several  of  his  old  customers  coming  out  of  the  Jew's 
establishment,  bearing  the  goods  they  had  just  been  pur- 
chasing. 


OP  A  COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  343 


CHAPTER  XXVII. 

Nap's  troubles  with  the  Jew — Letter  from  Colonel  Benton — Nap  follows 
his  advice — Showing  how  a  man  may  make  a  fortune — Nap  grows 
ambitious,  and  engages  in  a  tobacco  speculation,  contrary  to  the 
counsel  of  his  friend. 

Weeks  passed  by,  and  it  was  the  same.  The  Jew  did 
the  business.  It  was  in  vain  that  Nap  waited  for  him  to 
exhaust  his  stock  at  the  ruinously  low  prices  he  got  for  his 
goods ;  for  no  sooner  did  his  shelves  become  empty  than 
he  replenished  them.  He  either  visited  St.  Louis  every 
fortnight,  or  ordered  new  supplies  from  thence.  He  sold  for 
cash  alone,  which  he  remitted  every  few  days.  His  sales 
increased  continually,  and  people  came  from  a  great  dis- 
tance to  avail  themselves  of  the  unparalleled  bargains  he 
ojQTered,  while  Nap  would  have  scarcely  sold  any  goods  at 
all,  if  he  had  not  held  out  the  inducement  of  granting  a  long 
credit  to  solvent  men.  These,  although  convinced  they 
paid,  or  were  to  pay  him  at  least  twenty-five  per  cent, 
more  for  their  goods  than  the  Jew  would  have  demanded, 
continued  to  deal  with  him.  But  his  business  was  small, 
while  the  Jew's  cash  operations  amounted  frequently  to 
seven  or  eight  hundred  dollars  per  week. 

Perhaps  the  greatest  service  that  could  have  been  done 
the  Jew,  was  a  remark  made  by  Jim,  and  which  was 
intended  to  injure  him.  It  was  a  hint  that  he  had 
backers  or  partners  in  St.  Louis  and  the  East,  who  smug- 
gled the  foreign  goods  he  sold,  and  clandestinely  sent 
away  their  domestic  fabrics  to  defraud  their  creditors.  -  If 
that  were  really  so,  thought  the  people,  then  Rhino  could 
afi"ord  to  sell  them  at  a  less  price  than  anybody  else,  and 
consequently  he  was  the  man  for  their  money.  The  ques- 
tion of  morality  they  did  not  feel  called  upon  to  discuss. 
They  stood  in  need  of  sundry  articles  of  merchandise,  and 
it  was  natural  to  procure  them  on  the  best  possible  terms. 


844  LIFE    AND    ADVENTURES 

But  Nap  was  benefited  in  a  way  he  could  not  have  anti- 
cipated. The  operations  of  Rhino  attracted  the  attention 
of  the  country  for  many  miles  around,  and  increased  the 
trade  of  the  town  beyond  the  calculations  of  every  one. 
Houses  were  soon  tenanted  at  a  rent  of  two  hundred  dol- 
lars per  annum,  and  lots  were  in  greater  demand  than 
ever.  Even  Tom  Hazel  settled  in  Venice,  and  although 
he  had  joined  the  church  subsequently  to  his  spiritual 
exploit  at  the  camp-meeting,  he  now  opened  a  grocery  or 
dram-shop  in  the  town,  in  spite  of  the  reproaches  of  Mr. 
Darling,  who  had  likewise  induced  him  to  take  the  pledge 
of  total  abstinence.  His  first  customer  was  the  Rev.  Jno. 
Smith,  the  blacksmith,  who  declared  the  brandy  was  to  be 
swallowed  as  a  medicine,  he  being  subject  to  attacks  of  tho 
ague  and  fever. 

About  this  time  Nap  received  a  letter  from  Colonel 
Benton.  It  was  a  proud  moment  for  him  when  he  broke 
the  seal.  Several  of  his  friends  were  with  him,  and  all 
evinced  a  curiosity  to  know  the  subject  of  the  communica- 
tion. The  Colonel  informed  him  that  the  President  had 
just  sent  his  nomination  to  the  Senate,  as  register  of  the 
land-ofiice.  He  stated,  however,  that  there  was  no  proba- 
bility of  the  ofiice  being  a  very  lucrative  one,  and  advised 
Nap  not  to  accept  it  if  it  would  be  likely  to  withdraw  his 
attention  from  more  important  matters.  He  had,  at  all 
events,  been  complimented  by  the  tender  of  the  office,  and 
he  need  not  be  annoyed  in  hunting  up  security,  and  em- 
ploying a  clerk  whose  salary  would  amount  to  as  much  as 
the  register's  compensation,  unless  he  desired  it.  The 
office  would,  at  all  events,  be  located  at  Venice,  and  Nap 
must  reap  the  benefit  of  the  increase  of  business  and  the 
rise  of  real  estate. 

"  I  won't  have  it !"  said  Nap.     "  I'll  resign." 

<'No  !"  said  several. 

"I'm  not  qualified,"  continued  Nap.  "I've  heard  my 
friend  E.  M.  S.  describe  the  duties,  and  I  know  I'm  not 
fit  for  the  office.     I'll  write  to  the  Colonel,  and  give  him 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MEECHANT.  345 

liberty  to  bestow  it  on  some  other  friend  of  his,  who  knows 
all  about  the  business.  I  thought  I  was  ruined  when  I 
asked  the  President  for  it.  Offices  are  only  fit  for  ruined 
men,  who  are  fit  for  nothing  else.  But  Colonel  Benton's 
the  greatest  man  in  America  !    Don't  you  think  so,  Sam?" 

Marsh  believed  he  was,  with  one  or  two  exceptions ;  and 
80  did  Tom  Hazel.  The  town  itself  had  been  spoken  into 
existence  by  him ;  he  had  said,  Let  there  be  a  town,  and 
there  was  one ;  and  it  was  doubtless  owing  to  his  exertions 
and  influence  that  the  office  was  to  be  located  in  Venice. 
The  efiect  of  this  measure  would  be  a  large  accession  of 
guests  at  the  inn,  and  an  increase  of  business  at  the 
grocery. 

And  Nap,  with  whom  the  Colonel  corresponded,  was 
considered  a  great  man,  even  if  Rhino  did  sell  goods  lower 
than  he.  Nap  could  have  been  elected  to  the  legislature 
in  opposition  to  Colonel  Hopkins.  The  people  would  have 
voted  for  him  without  distinction  of  party,  if  they  did  buy 
their  goods  of  the  Je*w. 

So  great  was  the  fame  of  Nap's  speculation  in  real 
estate,  that  many  other  merchants  endeavoured  to  follow 
his  example.  But  most  of  them  had  put  it  off  too  long. 
They  had  not  acted  in  accordance  with  the  advice  of  the 
prescient  statesman ;  on  the  contrary,  a  majority  of  them 
had  been  his  bitter  opponents.  Among  these  were  Joseph 
and  Jack  Handy.  When  they  sought  to  buy  lots  in  their 
respective  towns,  which  were  likewise  increasing  rapidly  in 
population  and  trade,  as  all  the  towns  in  the  Western 
States  do  continually,  they  found  that  the  prices  demanded 
by  the  owners  were  far  above  the  figures  they  were  pre- 
pared to  offer.  It  was  too  late.  But  a  man  of  penetra- 
tion can  at  any  time  lay  the  foundation  of  an  infallible 
fortune  in  Missouri,  Nebraska,  or  in  any  of  the  new  States. 
Let  him  go  to  some  point  where  the  settlements  are  few 
and  far  between.  He  need  be  at  no  loss  in  finding  a  rich 
soil.  There  is  an  abundance  of  it  everywhere  in  the 
West.     But  let  him  acquire  a  correct  idea  of  the  features 


346  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

of  the  country,  and  then  pause  and  consider  which  would 
be  the  most  convenient  and  eligible  location  for  a  town, 
provided  the  lands  were  occupied  by  hardy  and  thrifty 
settlers.  When  that  is  found,  let  him  make  his  purchase. 
He  need  not  expend  many  hundred  dollars.  Then  let  him 
establish  his  store,  and  the  population  will  come.  They 
will  come  from  a  great  distance,  and  he  will  not  fail  to 
sell  his  goods.  It  is  an  undeniable  fact,  that  merchants  in 
some  of  the  older  and  more  thickly  populated  counties  of 
Missouri,  do  not  at  this  day  sell  as  many  goods  as  the  first 
traders  in  them  did  twenty  years  ago.  But  where  there 
was  one  store  then,  there  are  twenty  now.  Yet  it  is  the 
country  merchants  who  found  the  towns.  The  store  is  the 
magazine  of  supplies,  and  a  village  is  certain  to  grow  up 
around  it,  if  there  has  been  a  judicious  selection  of  the 
location.  When  the  store  is  established,  next  will  follow 
the  mechanics,  and  then  the  farmers  will  go  thither  from 
twenty,  forty,  sixty  miles'  distance.  The  lands  rise  in  value 
in  the  vicinity.  Population  increases — is  ever  increasing 
— and,  in  a  few  years, .the  first  investment  of  perhaps  five 
hundred  dollars  will  realize  not  less  than  five  thousand, 
and  probably  fifty  thousand.  It  has  been  known  to  reach 
a  quarter  of  a  million  ! 

It  was  no  wonder  that  Nap's  ideas  expanded  w^ith  the 
astonishing  rise  in  value  of  his  real  estate,  and  with  tho 
gorgeous  prospects  still  before  him.  Most  opportunely, 
the  boat  having  his  enormous  purchases  on  board  went  to 
the  bottom,  thus  making  a  wholesale  transaction  with  the 
underwriters.  If  they  had  been  delivered  at  Venice,  Nap's 
speculation  in  real  estate  would  hardly  have  saved  him.  Even 
the  moderate  amount  of  merchandise  he  had  bought  in 
Philadelphia  seemed  destined  to  remain  on  his  hands. 
But  inasmuch  as  his  goods  were  paid  for,  the  limited  amount 
of  his  sales  could  not  give  him  any  painful  uneasiness. 
But  he  was  doomed  to  be  much  annoyed  by  Rhino,  the 
Jew.  This  enterprising  competitor,  finding  his  system  of 
"quick  sales"  answer  his  purpose,  made  a  flying  visit  to 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  347 

the  East,  and  bought  some  seven  thousand  dollars'  worth 
of  goods  in  two  days,  for  which  he  paid  one-half  the  money 
down,  and  the  balance  in  a  few  weeks  afterwards.  Thus 
he  was  building  up  a  character  for  promptitude  both  in  the 
West  and  in  the  East ;  and  he  seemed  to  be  contented 
with  the  prices  he  realized.  And  if  he  was  satisfied  to 
sell  goods  without  a  profit,  of  course  the  people  were 
pleased  to  buy  them. 

Nap  submitted  to  the  necessity  of  the  case.  He  was 
not  compelled  to  sell  at  a  sacrifice  to  raise  money  to  pay 
his  debts,  or  to  build  up  a  credit  for  ulterior  purposes ; 
and  therefore  he  determined  not  to  sell  at  all  unless 
he  got^a  fair  profit.  But  he  sold  lots.  In  that  business 
he  could  have  no  Jew  competitor.  The  Jews  in  the  West 
rarely  have  any  real  estate,  until  they  have  grown  rich, 
when  they  preach  honesty  as  the  best  policy. 

Nap  had  a  sale  of  fifty  lots  at  public  auction,  which 
brought  him  four  thousand  eight  hundred  and  fifty  dollars. 
And  he  still  owned  upward  of  a  hundred  more.  This  was 
better  than  selling  goods  in  competition  with  a  Jew  whose 
motto  was,  <'  Sell  as  high  as  possible — but  sell,  at  all 
events."  And  Nap  strode  about  over  his  premises  with 
the  important  air  of  a  capitalist.  His  hands  were  thrust 
under  the  skirts  of  his  coat,  and  his  growing  corpulency 
projected  in  front. 

So  intent  did  our  hero  become  upon  the  scheme  of 
fortune-making,  that  for  a  long  time  no  other  object 
seemed  to  occupy  his  attention.  He  had  not  made  any 
inquiries  in  regard  to  the  particulars  of  Polly's  marriage. 
He  did  not  even  ask  any  one  the  name  of  her  husband,  if 
indeed  it  was  really  true  that  she  had  a  husband ;  and  he  had 
not  heard  the  subject  named  by  any  of  his  acquaintances, 
which  he  thought  was  very  strange.  But  he  still  dreamt 
of  her,  and  thought  of  her  sometimes  with  sadness.  Yet 
he  could  not  blame  her,  although  he  thought  her  conduct 
somewhat  inconsistent  with  her  character.  He  had  cer- 
tainly loved  her,  and  would  have  married  her  before  he  ha(l 


348  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

returned  to  Kentucky.  And  she  had  once  intimated  her 
willingness  to  wed  him,  provided  he  were  honom^ably  re- 
leased from  his  engagement  with  Molly.  And  then  to 
marry  another  without  seeing  him,  or  hearing  what  he  had  to 
say  in  explanation  of  his  conduct,  was  an  enigma  which  he 
could  not  solve.  Such  reflections  as  these  often  obtruded 
upon  his  mind.  But  he  made  successful  efforts  to  replace 
them  by  others  of  a  more  pleasing  character. 

In  imitation  of  Joseph  Handy,  Nap  would  seize  his  pen 
or  pencil  and  cover  a  whole  sheet  of  foolscap  with  figures. 
His  calculations  were  on  a  gigantic  scale.  Mountains  of 
wealth  rose  beyond  every  hill  he  ascended  in  the  scale  of 
fortune.  An  acquaintance  residing  at  Venice,  the^ageht 
of  an  Eastern  capitalist,  who  had  bought  all  the  crops  of 
tobacco  in  the  county,  had  realized,  the  preceding  year, 
some  sixty  thousand  dollars  profit !  Nap  was  tempted 
to  forestall  him  this  year,  and  engage  the  crops  for 
himself.  He  sat  down  and  wrote  to  his  friend  R.,  in 
Philadelphia,  on  the  subject,  relating  what  had  been 
accomplished  by  the  agent,  and  intimating  that  within  a 
week,  by  hard  riding,  he  could  secure  all  the  tobacco  then 
growing  in  the  county. 

His  friend  wrote  him  back  substantially  as  follows  : — In 
his  opinion  it  would  prove  a  bad  investment.  Nap  knew 
nothing  about  the  business.  It  was  best  for  every  one  to 
stick  to  his  trade ;  and  it  scarcely  ever  failed  to  be  bad 
policy  for  a  merchant  to  engage  in  any  sort  of  speculation 
whatever,  out  of  the  legitimate  operations  of  his  business. 
In  most  instances — such  as  when  they  were  owing  for  their 
goods — they  had  no  right  to  do  so.  The  money  they 
expended  for  produce  was  not  their  own;  it  really  be- 
longed to  their  creditors.  If  they  made  fortunes  on  the 
capital  thus  used,  they  alone  enjoyed  the  benefit  of  them. 
If  they  broke  at  it,  their  creditors  sustained  the  loss,  and 
that  was  manifestly  unfair.  In  Nap's  case,  however,  his 
capital  was  his  own.  His  goods  fortunately  were  paid  for, 
and  no  one  could  share  the  risk  with  him.     He  had  au 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  849 

undoubted  right  to  engage  in  any  kind  of  speculation. 
Bat  it  was  the  friendly  advice  of  Mr.  R.  that  he  would 
forbear.  Every  one  to  his  vocation.  Nap  had  no  ex- 
perience in  any  other  business  but  the  selling  of  goods. 
The  next  year  might  be  a  disastrous  one  for  the  tobacco 
buyers;  and  he  was  inclined  to  think  it  would  be,  since  it 
was  to  be  inferred  that  inasmuch  as  the  growing  crop  had 
not  been  already  engaged,  the  speculators  had  reason  to 
suppose  there  would  be  a  material  decline  in  the  market. 

Such  was  the  counsel  of  Nap's  prudent  and  experienced 
friend.  But  Nap,  notwithstanding  he  had  once  bitterly 
regretted  having  failed  to  heed  the  advice  of  the  same 
friend,  and  in  exact  accordance  with  the  impulsive  and 
precipitable  nature  of  many  of  the  young  men  in  the  West, 
did  not  await  the  reception  of  the  counsel  he  solicited.  He 
had  already  acted.  The  letter  came  too  late,  although  it 
had  been  promptly  despatched.  And  every  tobacco-planter 
who  had  visited  Venice,  had  already  engaged  his  entire 
crop  to  Nap  at  a  very  high  price.  But  as  Nap  had  stipu- 
lated that  but  little  if  any  of  the  purchase-money  should 
be  paid  until  some  time  after  the  delivery  of  the  tobacco, 
he  did  not  doubt  his  ability  to  ship  it  to  St.  Louis  and  get 
the  proceeds  of  sales  before  the  day  of  payment  would 
arrive.  It  had  been  done  by  the  agent  alluded  to.  He 
had  really  paid  for  all  the  tobacco  without  using  any  of 
his  principal's  capital,  and  realized  the  splendid  profit 
mentioned  besides.  Every  hogshead  had  been  sold  in  St. 
Louis  immediately  upon  its  arrival,  for  cash,  and  at  a 
large  advance. 


80 


350  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 


CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

Nap  resolves  to  buy  Colonel  Hopkins's  tobacco — He  meets  Ben  Handy, 
and  learns  news  of  Polly — He  approaches  the  house  circumspectly — 
Is  joined  by  the  Colonel,  and  they  ride  together  to  the  house — The 
Colonel  goes  in  pursuit  of  his  bitch — Polly  appears  before  Nap — She 
shows  him  a  picture — He  falls  in  love  again. 

The  time  had  arrived  at  last  when  Nap  could  no  longer 
he  kept  in  ignorance  of  the  fate  of  Polly.  It  was 
necessary  for  him  to  see  Colonel  Hopkins,  who  was  a 
tobacco-planter.  The  Colonel,  unlike  the  rest,  had  not 
visited  Venice,  and  it  seemed  to  be  an  important  point 
with  the  speculator  to  secure  his  crop. 

Nap  mounted  his  horse  and  rode  over  the  county,  beau- 
tifully variegated  with  grove  and  prairie,  and  was  charmed 
with  the  bright  colours  and  sweet  odours  of  the  millions  of 
wild  flowers.  And  now  since  his  face  was  turned  in  that 
direction,  his  thoughts  seemed  to  be  almost  entirely  con- 
centrated on  Polly.  He  strove  desperately  to  arrange  some 
plan  of  behaviour  in  his  mind,  provided  he  should  meet 
with  her  at  her  father's  house.  But  he  could  not.  Yet 
he  felt  convinced  that  Polly  could  not  justly  complain  of 
being  ill-used  by  him.  She  knew  he  was  engaged  to 
Molly  long  before  he  had  met  with  her ;  and  if  he  had 
become  reconciled  to  his  first  love,  surely  there  was  no 
cause  of  offence  in  that.  Polly  herself  had  rejected  or 
postponed  him  until  he  should  have  another  interview  with 
Molly.  And  if  their  vows  had  been  renewed,  why  should 
Polly  get  into  a  passion  and  marry  another  man  ?  Why 
did  she  write  to  Molly  ?  Could  she  suppose  that  her 
communication  would  rupture  the  match,  and  that  then 
her  revenge  would  be  complete  by  the  bestowal  of  her 
hand  upon  some  other  suitor  ?  Weak  and  silly  girls  might 
be   capable  of  such   conduct,  but   not   Polly.     She   was 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  351 

emphatically  a  strong-minded  girl,  and  never  resorted  to 
stratagems  to  wreak  her  vengeance.  But  why  had  she 
married?  Nap  could  not  conjecture  why.  Yet  consider- 
ing the  thing  as  done  and  irrevocable,  he  strove  to  banish 
from  his  breast  the  painful  emotions  the  contemplation 
of  the  matter  always  engendered.  And  to  do  this,  he 
had  to  dwell  upon  his  tobacco  speculation.  He  calculated, 
for  the  thousandth  time,  the  number  of  hogsheads  his 
purchases  would  make,  and  how  much  the  whole  would 
cost  him.  Then  supposing  so  many  dollars  would  be  cleared 
on  each  hogshead,  it  was  easy  to  arrive  at  the  sum  total 
he  would  gain  by  the  operation.  And  that  there  should 
be  no  mistake,  no  disappointment,  in  all  his  calculations 
he  put  the  cost  at  home  at  the  maximum,  and  the  price  in 
St.  Louis  at  the  minimum  rates.  The  result  was  never 
less  than  twenty-five  thousand  dollars  clear  gain — provided 
there  was  no  change  in  the  market — just  the  salary  of  the 
President  of  the  United  States. 

It  was  when  Nap  was  plunged  in  such  meditations  as 
these,  that  he  met  unexpectedly  with  an  old  acquaintance, 
but  a  young  man.  It  was  Ben  Handy.  He,  too,  was  in 
a  deep  study,  calculating  the  number  of  thousands  he 
would  possess  at  the  age  of  thirty,  and  as  usual  think- 
ing solely  of  the  dollars  as  an  object  of  paramount  import- 
ance. Indeed  he  seemed  to  have  an  aversion  for  the  girls. 
^He  was  supposing  a  case : — If,  for  instance,  he  should 
have  one-half  the  profits  of  a  concern,  the  sales  of  which 
£^mounted  to  some  twenty-five  thousand  dollars  per  annum, 
the  clear  profits  to  five  thousand  dollars,  how  much  would 
be  his  fortune  at  the  end  of  a  specified  time  ?  The 
_  solution  could  not  be  difficult.  His  personal  expenses 
were  put  down  at  only  one  hundred  and  fifty  dollars  per 
annum,  including  board;  clothes,  and  washing.  Perhaps 
he  allowed  five  dollars  a  year  to  be  cured  of  the  chills,  to 
which  he  was  occasionally  subject. 

The  horses  the  young  men  were  riding  must  have  been 
asleep,  or  else  engaged,  like  their  riders,  in  most  absorbing 


852  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

meditations,  for  their  heads  came  violently  in  collision, 
and  both  were  near  being  prostrated  by  the  shock. 

"Hello  !"  cried  Nap. 

"Hello,  yourself!"  responded  Ben.  "Nap,  I  was  just 
going  to  Venice  to  see  you.  I  wanted  to  know  if  you 
had  any  Missouri  bank-paper  that  you  would  exchange  for 
silver  and  gold.  You  are  not  remitting  East,  and  the  hard 
money  will  answer  your  purposes  at  home." 

"Yes,  I  have  some — a  little,"  said  Nap. 

"  How  much  ?" 

"About  six  thousand  dollars.  Would  that  little  do  you 
any  good?" 

"  That  little  ?     What  do  you  call  much  ?" 

"Wait  till  next  spring,  and  I'll  tell  you!"  said  Nap, 
significantly. 

"  I  don't  know  yet,  Nap,  how  much  paper  I  shall  want. 
I'm  on  my  way  to  Troy,  to  get  all  the  funds  Jack  has  on 
hand.  I  will  call  and  see  you  on  my  return,  and  then  ^ve 
will  make  the  exchange." 

"Very  well.  I'll  reserve  the  paper  for  you.  See  here, 
Ben,"  he  continued,  throwing  his  leg  over  the  pommel  of 
his  saddle,  and  sitting  sideways  like  a  female,  "  can  you 
tell  me  who  Polly  Hopkins  married  when  I  was  in  the 
East?" 

"No,  I  can't.  Nobody  can.  I'm  just  from  there, where 
I  stayed  last  night  and  collected  some  money  from  her 
father,  which  he  had  been  owing  for  eighteen  months.  We 
had  a  squabble  about  the  interest;  but  I  made  him  pay  it  !•" 

"  Then  you  saw  Polly?" 

"  Of  course  I  did.     I  couldn't  help  it." 

"  Did  you  see  her  husband  ?" 

"Husband?  I  hope  not!  I  believe  she  wanted  to 
marry  me." 

"  Marry  you  ?     How  could  she  do  that  ?" 

"I  don't  know.     I  don't  intend  to  let  her  try!" 

"  But  Joseph  wrote  to  Jack  in  St.  Louis,  that  he  had 
heard  of  her  marriage." 


OF   A    COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  353 

«'  I  know  it.  I  heard  Jack  say  so.  But  don't  you  know 
Joseph's  way  ?  Before  he  got  done  writing  it,  he  thought 
of  something  else  connected  with  the  store,  and  then  he 
slapped  down  the  wrong  name." 

"  The  wrong  name  ?" 

<<  Yes.  It  was  Mary  Townly  who  was  married,  and  not 
this  Polly." 

"And  Polly  ain't  married  ?" 

<'  Not  that  I  know  of.  From  her  conduct  to  me,  I  should 
think  she  was  still  in  the  market." 

"Ben,  you  are  a  woman-hater." 

"  Then,  they'd  better  let  me  alone.  I  don't  disturb 
them." 

"Was  the  Colonel  at  home,  Ben?" 

"  He  was.  But  he  was  preparing  to  go  on  a  long 
journey." 

"Where  to?" 

"  To  St.  Joseph.  He  had  just  heard  of  a  bitch  there 
resembling  the  one  he  lost  last  year,  and  he  thinks  she 
must  be  his  animal.  He  sw^ears  he'll  make  some  one 
sweat  for  having  robbed  him  of  his  animal." 

"  Good-bye,  Ben  !"  said  Nap.  "  I  must  see  him  before 
he  leaves  home." 

"  Don't  turn  fool,  Nap,  and  ask  him  for  Polly,"  was  the 
response. 

Both  put  their  horses  into  a  brisk  trot,  and  pursued  their 
different  directions. 

When  Nap  arrived  upon  the  old  hunting-ground,  through 
a  portion  of  which  the  public  road  ran,  he  diverged  in  the 
direction  of  the  bush  where  he  had  made  such  havoc  with 
the  grouse,  and  with  the  Colonel's  pied  bitch.  There  was 
a  thick  tuft  of  rank  grass  growing  over  the  spot  where  the 
animal  had  fallen,  but  the  skeleton  remained,  and  some  of 
the  bleached  bones  were  exposed.  Nap  descended  from 
his  horse,  and  piled  a  quantity  of  brushwood  that  lay  in  the 
vicinity  over  the  remains.  He  had  just  completed  this 
work,  which  caused  him  to  appear,  if  not  to  feel,  like  one 

30* 


354  LIFE   AND   ADVENTUEES 

engaged  in  the  attempt  to  conceal  the  evidences  of  a  crime, 
when  he  beheld  the  Colonel  himself  approaching.  He  was 
riding  rapidly  over  the  prairie,  followed  by  two  or  three 
negro  men,  likewise  mounted  on  horses. 

Nap  hastily  sprang  upon  his  steed,  and  spurred  away 
from  the  fatal  spot ;  but  he  had  not  gone  fifty  yards  before 
he  was  hailed  by  the  Colonel  and  ordered  to  stop. 

"  Which  way?     Which  way,  Nap?"  cried  the  Colonel. 

«'  To  your  house.  Colonel." 

^'  Stop,  then,  a  few  minutes,  and  we'll  go  together.  I'm 
going  back  as  soon  as  I  show  my  men  where  I  want  a  new 
field  to  be  enclosed  and  broken  up.  Here,  boys,"  he  con- 
tinued, turning  to  his  slaves,  "the  fence  must  run  by 
yonder  bush ;  beyond  that,  the  land  is  wet.  Remember  it. 
Nap,  what  were  you  after,  a  w^hile  ago,  under  the  bush?" 

<'  Me  ?"  exclaimed  Nap,  in  great  confusion,  averting  his 
face. 

"Yes,  you.     I  saw  you  dismount  there." 

"Oh,  I've  been  troubled  lately  with  a  slight  dysen- 
tery." 

"And  you  covered  it  over  with  the  bush.  Well,  I  sup- 
pose the  land  can't  get  the  cholera,  if  the  people  do. 
Brandy  is  the  best  remedy.  Come,  let  us  go  to  the  house. 
Polly  will  cure  you.  She  reads  every  thing,  even  the  me- 
dical books  of  her  grandfather,  who  was  a  famous  physi- 
cian. But  why  the  deuce.  Nap,  haven't  you  been  to  see 
us  since  you  returned  from  the  cities  ?  Too  proud,  eh  ? 
Oh,  you're  a  rich  man  now !  But  Handy  says  you  couldn't 
get  the  wife  you  courted.  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  He  says  it  was 
some  of  Polly's  doings.  I  shouldn't  wonder.  She's  a 
genius.  If  she  was  a  man,  she'd  be  another  Missouri 
artist,  like  Bingham.  He's  to  paint  your  town  on  election 
day.  He'll  have  you  in  it,  and  me  too,  with  my  pot-belly. 
Perhaps  Polly  may  be  there.  Daniel  Thornton,  Squire 
Nix,  Adam  Steele,  Brother  Keene,  Mr.  Darling,  Sam 
Marsh,  Jack  Grove,  Jackson  Fames,  Tom  Hazel,  Jno. 
Smith,  and  my  cider-man.  Black  Bob,  will   all  be  in  it. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  355 

I've  seen  the  first  sketch  of  it,  and  it'll  be  a  famous 
picture." 

''Will  he  have  the  tavern  and  my  store  in  it?" 

"  Oh  yes,  and  it'll  be  better  than  an  advertisement." 

i'But  he  mustn't  paint  the  confounded  Jew's  store !" 

"Why  not?  Oh,  he'll  put  down  every  thing  as  it  is, 
I'll  warrant  you.  It'll  be  as  natural  as  life  itself.  He  has 
the  genius  to  do  it.  But  here  we  are.  Jump  down.  Dick, 
take  our  horses,  and  rub  them  down.  Put  the  saddle  on 
mine  in  about  an  hour.  I'm  going  to  St.  Joe  after  my 
bitch,  and  I'll  cut  the  man's  throat  w^ho  deprived  me 
of  her!" 

They  entered  the  house.  Nap's  heart  palpitated  vio- 
lently as  he  saw  Polly's  skirt  vanishing  from  the  room. 
The  old  lady,  however,  came  forward  and  gave  him  a 
friendly  greeting. 

"Where's  Polly?"  demanded  the  Colonel. 

"  She  just  went  out,"  said  Mrs.  Hopkins. 

"  Tell  her  to  come  here  and  make  Nap  some  brandy 
medicine.     He's  got  the  dys" 

"Never  mind.  Colonel!"  said  Nap,  quickly.  "I  feel 
quite  well,  now." 

"  Very  well,  then.  But  if  you  don't  get  sick,  I  doubt 
if  you  can  see  Polly.  She  don't  like  rich  folks  much. 
She's  no  worshipper  of  wealth,  I  assure  you.  So  if  you 
came  to  see  her,  I'd  advise  you  to  get  sick." 

"  I  came  to  see  you,  Colonel." 

"Very  well.     I'm  at  your  service." 

"  I  want  to  buy  your  tobacco." 

"I'm  your  man." 

The  bargain  was  soon  struck.  Nap  gave  him,  or  rather 
agreed  to  give  him,  fifty  cents  per  hundred  pounds  more 
than  he  was  to  pay  some  of  his  neighbours.  But  this  was 
to  be  kept  a  profound  secret. 

"And  now.  Colonel,"  said  Nap,  when  his  host  was  pre- 
paring to  leave  him,  almost  resolved  to  confess  that  he 
had  killed  his  bitch   accidentally,  "you   are  not   going 


S56'  LIFE   AND    ADVENTUEES 

all  the  way  to  St.  Joe  just  to  look  for  that  old  slut  of 
yours!" 

"I  am  !  I'm  determined  to  find  out  who  took  her  away. 
I  don't  care  so  much  for  the  bitch ;  but  the  rascal  who 
stole  her  shall  suffer  for  it !" 

i«  But  suppose  no  one  stole  her  ?  Suppose  she  took  sick 
and  died." 

"If  she  had,  we'd  have  found  her  bones." 

"  But  what  if  some  one  of  your  neighbours  and  friends 
had  killed  her  accidentally?" 

"  If  he  had  told  me  of  it  at  the  time,  I  should  not  have 
thought  any  more  about  it.  But  to  conceal  it  this  long, 
would  make  it  another  matter  !" 

"  True  !     I  hope  you'll  find  her." 

«<I  will,  if  she's  upon  the  top  of  the  earth!"  Saying 
this,  the  Colonel  mounted  his  horse  and  departed  in  quest 
of  the  lost  animal.  His  family  did  not  look  for  his  return 
before  the  expiration  of  a  week  or  ten  days. 

For  more  than  an  hour  Nap  sat  conversing  with  Mrs. 
H.,  who  was  a  highly  intelligent  lady,  and  famous  for  her 
knowledge  of  books,  and  particularly  of  the  romances  of 
Scott,  which  formed  her  principal  source  of  happiness. 

Just  before  dinner  was  announced,  and  when  Nap  was 
quite  alone,  Polly  came  in,  tastefully  dressed,  and  with  a 
pleasant  smile  on  her  lip. 

"Nap,"  said  she,  advancing  to  where  he  was,  and  giving 
him  her  hand,  "  didn't  you  want  to  see  me  ?" 

"Yes — certainly,"  he  stammered,  struck  with  her  fine 
appearance,  her  tall,  majestic  stature,  her  perfect  propor- 
tions, and  her  improved  beauty. 

"  Then  why  didn't  you  say  so  ?" 

"  Oh,  I  thought  you  would  come  in  as  you  used  to  do." 

"  You've  changed  since  I  saw  you  last.  And  why  should 
not  I  change  also?" 

"  How  have  I  changed?" 

"You've  become  rich.  I  can't  be  familiar  with  rich 
men.     They  might  say  I  was  fortune-hunting;  and  that  I 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  357 

could  not  bear.  I'm  too  proud  to  play  for  money.  I  want 
a  man.  Why  have  you  not  been  here  before  ?  I  suppose 
you  looked  for  me  to  go  to  Venice.  You  might  have 
looked  in  vain  !  I  never  would  have  gone  there  until  you 
got  poor  again.     It  was  your  duty  to  call  on  me." 

"I  heard  you  were  married." 
■    "  So  Jack  Handy  told  me." 

<'  And  you  never  told  me  it  was  a  mistake." 

"Why  should  I?  Were  you  not  engaged  to  marry 
Molly  Brook  on  your  way  back  to  Missouri?  Did  you 
inform  me  that  the  marriage  was  not  consummated  ?  I 
heard  of  your  disappointment,  however." 

"  Yes,  you  caused  it !" 

"  Did  I  state  any  thing  that  was  not  true  ?  Do  you 
condemn  me  for  writing  that  letter?" 

"No,  Polly.  You  told  the  truth.  And  now,  since  I 
see  you  again,  and  unmarried,  I  can't  say  I  regret  that 
Molly  would  not  have  me." 

"  Come,  Nap,  don't  let  us  have  a  scene  here  before  din- 
ner. I've  made  up  my  mind  what  to  do  since  you  have 
been  in  the  house.  After  dinner  we  will  stroll  down  to 
the  bank  of  the  silver  stream,  and  talk  over  some  interest- 
ing matters.  Walls  have  ears,  and  eyes  too.  The  little 
negroes  are  peeping  and  listening  now.  Prepare  yourself 
to  hear  my  speeches.  They  will  « harrow  up  your  soul,'  as 
the  poet  says.  I  have  a  picture  to  show  you,  that  will" 

"Binghams?" 

"  No.  That  is  to  be  a  great  one,  though.  Mine  will 
be  for  you  alone.  His  is  for  the  admiration  of  thousands, 
living  and  unborn.     Come  !     Dinner  is  ready." 

The  strange  girl  then  led  our  obedient  hero  to  the  table 
in  the  next  room,  and  carved  for  him,  while  her  mother 
heaped  his  plate  with  vegetables.  He  ate  heartily,  as 
usual,  for  he  had  an  infallible  appetite.  But  his  eyes 
were  constantly  wandering  toward  Polly,  whom  he  thought 
to  be  more  beautiful  that  day  than  he  had  ever  beheld  her 
before.     Between  eating  and  gazing,  he  did  not  have  an 


358  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

opportunity  to  say  much,  but  he  thought  with  great  in- 
tensity. He  was  continually  surmising  what  it  was  Polly 
intended  to  do,  and  what  he  might  do  under  certain  cir- 
cumstances. He  had  recently  resolved  within  his  own 
mind  that  he  would  never  again  be  carried  away  by  his 
enthusiastic  admiration,  and  that  he  would  make  no  more 
precipitate  offers  of  marriage ;  but  wait  until  he  had  real- 
ized a  large  fortune,  before  entering  finally  into  the  in- 
exorable bands  of  wedlock.  And  now,  while  masticating 
the  rich  food  spread  before  him,  and  occasionally  showing 
his  faultless  teeth,  the  remembrance  of  this  resolution  re- 
curred to  him,  and  several  times  while  sitting  at  the  table 
he  determined,  if  possible,  to  carry  it  out. 

After  the  repast  was  over,  Polly  boldly  led  the  way  to- 
ward the  shining  stream.  The  larks  were  singing  on  the 
green  lawn,  and  wild  flowers  of  all  the  varieties  incident 
to  the  soil,  climate,  and  season  perfumed  the  air. 

"Let  us  go  to  the  hawthorn.  Nap,"  said  she.  "The 
same  that  sheltered  us  once  when  solemn  vows  were  uttered. 
I  have  converted  it  into  an  arbour,  and  often  spend  an 
hour  there  in  utter  solitude.  It  is  my  little  world,  where 
none  intrude." 

When  she  ceased  speaking  they  stood  before  it.  She 
had  indeed  tended  it  well.  The  vines  had  been  symmetri- 
cally arranged,  so  as  to  form  a  perfect  shade ;  and  within 
was  a  rustic  bench  formed  of  willow  boughs. 

"  Sit  down.  Nap,"  said  she.  He  obeyed,  and  she  sat 
down  beside  him.  Polly  wore  a  plain  sun-bonnet,  which 
she  had  thrown  upon  her  head  when  leaving  the  house,  and 
which  now  prevented  Nap  from  seeing  her  features.  Sit- 
ting close  beside  him,  with  her  face  slightly  averted,  it 
was  impossible  for  him  to  see  whether  she  was  smiling  or 
grave.  Not  knowing  what  to  say,  he  said  nothing,  but 
awaited  her  developments  almost  with  fear  and  trembling, 
and  vainly  conjecturing  what  she  would  do  next. 

"Now,  Nap,"  she  continued  after  a  pause,  "are  you 
ready  to  see  my  picture  ?" 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  859 

"  Oh  yes,  I'll  take  a  look  at  it,  if  you  have  no  objection." 

«  Then  glance  your  eye  through  this  little  window  of 
our  pavilion,"  said  she,  drawing  his  attention  to  an  open- 
ing on  her  right.  "You  see  yonder  grove,  and  the  undu- 
lating fields  between.  The  sun  is  pouring  his  golden  rays 
upon  them.  How  calm  and  beautiful !  Nearer,  you  see 
the  snowy  sheep,  and  the  innocent  lambs  skipping  about 
in  playfulness.  How  fresh  and  purely  green  the  meadow ! 
All  is  bathed  in  golden  sunlight,  and  no  rude  winds  are 
howling  past.  How  peaceful !  You  can  just  hear  the 
gurgling  ripples  as  the  sparkling  waters  go  dancing  over 
their  pebbled  bed.  See  !  A  bass,  when  I  was  speaking 
of  the  beautiful  stream,  leaped  above  the  surface,  and  his 
scales  glittered  dazzlingly  in  the  sunlight.  He,  too,  is 
jocund  and  happy.  Hear  the  flutelike  melody  of  the 
bluebirds  !  Poised  upon  their  noiseless  wings,  they  sing 
their  young  to  sleep.  Inhale  the  delicious  perfume  of  the 
millions  of  blossoms  around  us ;  hear  the  concert  of  sweet 
sounds  from  hundreds  of  richly-plumaged  birds ;  see  the 
lovely  landscape  spreading  out  in  harmony  wherever  the 
eye  is  turned  ;  and  then  say  if  it  be  not  a  picture  to  make 
one's  heart  palpitate  with  happiness  and  love  1" 

"  It  is  indeed,  Polly.  Why,  you  are  a  poetess  !  I  am 
made  very  happy  in  beholding  such  a  picture,  and  my 
heart  is  full  of  love.  I  did  think  I  would  hold  my  heart 
in  check  hereafter,  and  fix  it  upon  my  business  specula- 
tions ;  but  since  I  have  seen  you  again,  and  heard  your  voice, 
and  beheld  your  charming  picture,  I  feel  my  resolution 
melting  away,  and  know  not  what  is  to  become  of  me. 
I'm  afraid  you  wouldn't  have  me,  Polly,  if  I  were  to  pro- 
pose again.     I'm  afraid" 

"Don't  be  afraid;  I  won't  hurt  you.  Nap,"  she  said 
quickly,  and  exhibiting  just  enough  of  her  chin  and  nether 
lip  for  our  hero  to  see  that  she  was  smiling. 

"  Once  for  all,  then,  Polly  !"  said  he,  spasmodically,  and 
venturing  to  take  her  hand  in  his,  "let  us" 

"  Don't  be  precipitate,  Nap.    You  have  not  seen  the  whole 


360  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

of  my  picture  yet.  Come  with  me  along  the  bank  of  the 
stream."  Still  permitting  him  to  hold  her  hand,  they 
strolled  beneath  the  row  of  hawthorns  and  willows.  "  How 
sweet  the  blossoms !  and  how  purely  white !"  said  she, 
plucking  a  small  twig  from  a  tree. 

i' White  blossoms  are  emblems  of  weddings,  are  they 
not?"  said  Nap. 

"Of  innocence,"  said  Polly,  "and  weddings  are  some- 
times cruel  and  sinful.  Hearts  are  sacrified  for  gold.  Nap, 
you  must  cease  to  grow  rich.  It  will  do  you  no  good.  It 
will  make  you  a  mere  target  for  swindlers,  but  never 
happy,  if  my  books  are  worthy  of  belief.  If  you  grow 
rich,  you  will  not  be  content  to  remain  here.  You  will 
seek  a  denser  and  more  refined  society.  And  then,  if  it 
be  in  the  city,  you  will  meet  with  men  far  richer  than 
yourself,  and  you  will  seem  poor  in  comparison  with  them. 
That  will  make  you  unhappy." 

"But  I  would  have  you  with  me  to  share  my  fortune 
and  give  me  good  advice." 

"  Never  !  I  would  not  dwell  a  month  in  what  is  termed 
purely  fashionable  society  for  all  the  benefits  a  city  life 
could  confer.  My  mother,  when  young,  spent  just  a  month 
in  one  of  the  great  cities.  She  says  the  fashions  changed 
so  fast  she  could  not  keep  up  with  them.  She  had  sent 
for  the  latest  styles  and  patterns  a  month  before  she  left 
home.  But  when  she  arrived  in  the  city,  every  thing  she 
had  was  out  of  date,  and  she  was  laughed  at  and  ridiculed. 
And  so  with  my  father  when  he  visited  her  there.  He 
wore  his  shirt-collar  up,  when  everybody  else  had  turned 
them  down  ten  days  before.  He  wore  square-toed  boots 
a  week  after  round  toes  had  been  adopted.  He  was  termed 
a  simple  booby,  and  my  mother  a  gawky  country-girl. 
Thus  it  would  be  with  you  and  I.  You  never  could  fall 
into  the  habits  of  thought  and  expression  contracted  by 
others  born  and  bred  in  the  city;  nor  could  I  ever  act  and 
dress  to  please  the  proud  madams  and  impertinent  misses. 
We   would   be  insulted  daily  in  the  street,   and  thus  be 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  361 

rendered  very  miserable.  Strangers  would  stare  at  us  if 
our  dress,  our  gait,  our  limbs  and  complexions  differed 
from  the  prescribed  fashion ;  and  our  acquaintances  even, 
I  am  told,  would  avoid  a  recognition  of  us  in  the  public 
streets.  What  then  should  induce  a  country  merchant, 
grown  rich,  and  his  country  wife,  if  he  has  one,  to  push 
themselves  into  fashionable  society?" 

"I  won't  go  into  it!"  exclaimed  Nap.  "I  saw  them 
looking  at  my  big  feet  and  hands,  and  whispering  to  one 
another,  when  I  was  in  the  city.  I  thought  they  were  ad- 
miring my  boots  and  praising  my  rings.  But  I  soon 
found  out  that  the  gentlemen's  servants  wore  quite  as 
highly  polished  boots  as  mine ;  that  the  yellow  barbers 
displayed  more  jewelry,  and  the  apprentices  finer  clothes. 
The  rascals  who  whispered  must  have  been  making  fun  of 
me.  And  as  for  my  mustache  and  goatee,  whenever  I  ex- 
hibited them  on  the  balcony  in  front  of  the  hotel,  I  was 
sure  to  see  some  rascal,  after  glancing  at  me,  wrinkle  up 
his  nose  as  if  he  had  smelt  something  very  unpleasant." 

«  No,  Nap,  the  city  is  not  the  place  for  happiness,  unless 
one  has  been  born  and  raised  in  it ;  and  then  I  am  told 
such  an  one  is  ever  sighing  for  the  country.  But  here,  on 
the  banks  of  this  dancing  stream,  what  could  make  one 
unhappy?  Behold  the  golden  rays  of  the  setting  sun 
streaming  slantingly  under  the  hawthorns.  The  tulips 
beside  the  silent  path  seem  to  spread  their  petals  in  quiver- 
ing ecstasy,  and  the  violets  lift  their  fresh  blossoms  in 
meek  adoration.  The  lark  is  trilling  his  last  note  high 
up  in  the  blue  vault.  The  flocks  are  slowly  winding  home- 
ward, and  the  fowls  are  gathering  under  the  trees  nearest 
the  house,  where  they  may  rest  in  security.  In  such  a 
place  as  this,  why  could  you  not  be  happy  all  your  days  ?" 

"  Oh,  I  could  be,  if  you  would  only  be  happy  with  me. 
I  know  I  could  be  contented  to  spend  my  life  with  you 
here!"  Somehow  or  other,  for  he  was  unconscious  of 
what  he  was  doing  at  the  time.  Nap's  arm  had  found  its 
way  around  the  waist  of  Polly ;  and  it  remained  there  as 


362  I^IFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

if  she  too  was  unaware  of  it,  while  tliey  strode  backward 
and  forward,  and  spoke  of  rural  felicity. 

"But  then  would  not  Molly  be  unhappy?  No  one  can 
be  perfectly  happy  while  causing  unhappiness  in  others. 
Are  you  not  still  engaged  to  her?" 

<<I  don't  know  that  I  am!  She  put  me  off  another 
year ;  but  I  did  not  promise  ever  to  be  on  again.  I  did 
not  agree  to  the  arrangement." 

"But  you  could  not  help  yourself,"  said  Polly,  laughing. 

"  Perhaps  I  can,  though  !  There  are  other  girls  besides 
Molly" 

"  If  you  abandon  her,  what  will  her  father  do  ?  Jack 
has  told  me  that  he  is  anxious  for  the  match." 

"  And  that's  true  !  I  have  received  three  letters  from 
him  already" 

<<  And  how  many  from  Molly  ?" 

"Not  one.  But  her  father  threatens  to  sue  me  for 
$20,000  damages,  if  I  don't  marry  his  daughter." 

"And  does  that  frighten  you  ?" 

"No.  I  wrote  to  Colonel  Benton  on  the  subject.  He 
said  in  reply  that  Brook  was  a  fool,  and  that  if  I  had  been 
ready  and  willing  to  marry  Molly  as  I  returned  through 
Kentucky,  and  she  declined  it,  I  might,  if  inclined,  con- 
sider myself  absolved  from  any  obligation  to  wed  her  at  a 
future  day." 

"  Colonel  Benton  is  right !  And  Nap,.  I  think  your 
Molly  carries  her  Kentucky  pride  a  little  too  high.  Per- 
haps she  wishes  you  to  acquire  a  little  more  polish.  I  don't 
think  she  is  waiting,  like  her  father,  for  greater  riches." 

"No  ;  it  is  not  wealth  that  sways  her;  But  she  dresses 
as  nearly  like  the  Eastern  ladies  as  possible,  and  now 
sees  a  great  many  young  lawyers  and  doctors,  as  her 
father  confesses.  They  know  French  qjnd  Latin,  ^nd  I 
don't.     As  Jim  says,  I'll   <let   her  rip!'     Just  say  the 

word,   Polly,    and   we'll" here   his   utterance   failed, 

but  he  pressed  the  laughing  and  unresisting  girl  more 
closely  to  his  side. 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  363 

<«Nap!"  said  she,  while  he  was  all  attention,  "do  you 
still  snore?" 

"Snore?     I  believe  so!     Don't  laugh  at  me,  Polly; 
■  but  answer  me  !"  said  he,  almost  delirious  with  the  thoughts 
and  passions  which  agitated  his  mind  and  heart — the  letter 
thumping  audibly. 

"Answer  what  question,  Nap?" 

"  Will  you  have  me,  now  !" 

"  Have  you — and  now ?  Nap,  you  have  me!  What  do 
you  mean  by  squeezing  me  so  ?  Let  me  go  !  You  never 
did  that  before.  Let  me  go,  I  say !"  she  continued,  making 
unavailing  struggles. 

"  I  can't !  Upon  my  word  I  can't.  Forgive  me,  Polly — 
but  I  can't,  upon  my  word.  My  arm  has  grown  there. 
Say  yes,  and  let  me  have  just  one  kiss" 

".  Ha !  ha  !  ha  !  And  then  I  suppose  your  lips  would 
grow  there,  too  !  But  enough.  Nap,  you  have  held  me 
long  enough.  Release  me!"  Her  changed  tone  acted 
like  magic.  She  was  instantly  obeyed.  "  And  now,  Nap, 
you  shall  have  my  answer.  I  will  be  yours  when  I  can 
have  all  your  affection.  Don't  interrupt  me.  Jack  Handy 
told  me  you  wrote  to  an  experienced  friend  in  the  East  for 
advice  in  regard  to  your  huge  tobacco  speculation,  and 
that  you  embarked  in  the  ruinous  business  before  receiving 
his  reply.  I  know  what  his  advice  w^as.  If  you  had 
awaited  its  arrival,  and  followed  it,  I  would  have  married 
you  this  summer.  But  now  your  mind  is  to  be  absorbed 
with  your  gigantic  speculation,  and  you  could  not  be  happy, 
or  make  me  happy,  with  your  thoughts  so  occupied.  You 
will  lose  a  great-  deal ;  I  hope  you  may  not  be  ruined. 
There  are  accounts  of  a  decline  of  twenty-five  per  (jent. 
But  when  it  is  over,  you  may  come  to  me  for  consolation. 
And  if  you  will  then  promise  to  relinquish  the  idea  of  ever 
making  a  great  figure  in  the  world,  for  which  nature  never 
designed  you,  and  will  promise  to  live  with  me  all  the  days 
of  your  life  in  humble  contentment" — — 

"But  there  must  be  something  to  live  on  1"  said  Nap. 


364  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

«  Oh  yes ;  you  may  sell  goods  in  a  quiet  way,  or  buy 
this  farm,  which  is  to  be  sold,  and  build  a  mill  and  found 
another  town  on  it,  if  you  lose  Venice" 


a 


I  will !     But  my  tobacco  speculation"- 


He  was  interrupted  by  the  excited  voice  of  one  of  the 
Colonel's  negro  men  who  came  running  in  from  the  new 
field,  bearing  in  his  arms  the  bleached  bones  of  the  bitch 
Nap  had  accidentally  killed,  and  covered  under  the  wild- 
cherry  tree. 

"Miss  Polly!  Miss  Polly!"  said  Agrippa,  "here's 
Juno  !  Here's  her  bones  !  I  found  'em  out  dar  under  de 
wild-cherry  tree.  Som  'tarnel  rascal  shot  her.  Here's 
whar  de  bullets  broke  her  ribs  !" 

"How  do  you  know  these  are  Juno's  bones?"  asked 
Polly. 

"Dar's  de  bone  ob  her  hind  leg.  Don't  you  see  whar 
'twas  mended  ?  You  'member  'twas  broke  once,  whar  de 
ole  cow  kicked  her  ?" 

"Oh  misery!     What  shall   I" exclaimed  Nap,  as 

the  negro  passed  on  with  the  bones. 

"What's  the  matter,  Nap?"  asked  Polly. 

Nap  made  a  full  confession.  And  Polly  seemed  pleased 
that  he  had  confided  his  secret  to  her.  She  told  him  to 
give  himself  no  more  uneasiness  about  the  slaughtered 
animal.  She  would  see  Agrippa,  and  put  a  speech  in  his 
mouth  that  would  satisfy  her  father  and  securely  guard 
her  lover  against  danger.  And  she  told  Nap,  moreover, 
that  if  he  would  confide  all  his  difficulties  to  her,  of  what- 
ever nature,  she  would  remove  them  also,  or  exert  her 
wits  to  the  utmost  to  do  so.  He  promised  to  be  guided 
by  her  in  every  thing,  and  was  rewarded,  as  they  drew 
near  the  house  in  the  dusk  of  the  evening,  with  the  kiss  he 
had  petitioned  for. 


OP   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  3G5 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 

A  mysterious  rush  of  business — Jim  goes  on  a  secret  mission  to  the 
planters — The  rush  continues — Mr,  Brook  writes  again  to  Nap — The 
Jew  grows  melancholy,  then  desperate — Then  exits — Nap  has  a  fit 
of  jealousy — He  is  found  in  the  woods  by  Mr.  Snorter — Another 
letter  from  Colonel  Benton,  who  advises  Nap  to  marry — Nap  flirts 
with  Sally  Weighton — An  oyster  sermon — Polly  surprises  Nap — Mr. 
H.  S.  gets  Nap  out  of  his  difficulties. 

Late  as  it  was  when  Nap  returned  from  his  Elysian  walk 
under  the  hawthorns,  he  mounted  his  horse  and  galloped 
oif  toward  Venice,  for  the  purpose  of  directing  his  faith- 
ful Jim  to  buy  no  more  tobacco.  What  a  change  had  been 
wrought  in  his  ideas  in  a  single  day !  He  bestrode  his 
horse  in  the  morning  with  the  conviction  that  he  was  about 
to  realize  a  fortune  from  a  single  speculation;  and  he 
dismounted  in  the  evening  filled  with  apprehensions  that 
he  was  doomed  to  lose  the  most,  if  not  all,  of  his  property  ! 
But  then  a  vision  of  happiness  had  been  revealed  to  him, 
which  he  thought  would  compensate  him,  if  he  could 
possess  it,  for  all  his  losses,  however  extensive  they 
might  be. 

A  great  change  had  likewise  suddenly  taken  place  in 
the  business  transactions  at  Venice,  and  Nap's  goods  had 
at  last  begun  to  move  off.  It  appeared  that  a  rumour  had 
been  secretly  circulated  in  the  country  of  a  great  pressure 
in  the  money-market  having  caused  several  extensive 
speculators  in  tobacco  and  pork  to  fail ;  and  those  com- 
modities had  in  consequence  suddenly  fallen  in  price.  So 
great  was  the  decline,  that  the  agents  in  Missouri  were 
instructed  to  desist  from  buying  any  more  tobacco  from 
the  planters  unless  purchases  could  be  effected  at  a  figure 
some  twenty-five  per  cent,  under  the  price  Nap  had  beer 
giving. 

31* 


366  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

Hence  it  was  conjectured  that  Nap  would  break  down, 
and  not  be  able  to  comply  with  his  contracts.  And  this 
caused  the  very  natural  alarm  of  the  planters  who  were  in 
the  secret,  and  hence  the  sudden  run  upon  Nap's  store. 
He  was  under  no  obligations  to  pay  them  before  the  ex- 
piration of  the  stipulated  time ;  but  he  could  not  refuse  to 
sell  them  any  goods  they  might  want.  And  now  they 
crowded  in  upon  him  and  ran  up  accounts  with  surprising 
liberality. 

Jim  met  Nap  with  a  broad  grin  of  pleasure  on  his  face. 
He  had  triumphed  that  day  over  the  Jew,  who  had  recently 
received  a  large  accession  to  his  stock,  and  now  looked 
the  impersonation  of  victory.  The  Jew,  who  stood  in  his 
door,  and  could  not  conjecture  why  it  was  that  such  an 
unexpected  improvement  should  have  taken  place  in  his 
Christian  rival's  business,  was  the  picture  of  chagrin  and 
mortification.  He  was  literally  chap-fallen.  The  Jews 
generally  show  their  feelings  in  their  faces ;  and  Jim 
had  long  been  accustomed  to  behold  Rhino's  looks  of 
exultation. 

"Jim,"  said  Nap,  "  we  must  buy" 

"  Let  'em  rip  !"  said  Jim,  waving  his  right  arm  triumph- 
antly.    "  The  richest  men  in   the    county  have  been   in 

to-day,  and  I  sold  'em  a of  a  sight  of  goods  !     Rhino 

didn't  sell  'em  any  thing !" 

"That  was  all  very  well,  Jim.     But  we  must  buy" 

<'  We  can  buy  all  the  tobacco  in  the  county.  Mr.  B. 
hasn't  got  a  hogshead  yet.  And  I  believe  we  can  sell  all 
the  goods  hereafter.     Let  'em  rip  !" 

"  I  say,  Jim,  we  must  buy  no  more  tobacco !" 

"What?" 

"We  must  buy  no  more  tobacco.  The  price  has  gone 
down  in  Europe,  and  I  shall  lose  like  the  mischief  on  that 
I  have  bought.  I  want  you  to  get  me  off  from  as  many 
engagements  as  possible.  Agree  to  pay  a  moderate  forfeit 
to  each  man  that  will  give  up  his  contract." 

"  I'll  ride  out  to  the  bluffs  to-morrow !     I'll  get  you 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  367 

off  with  some  of  'em.  Just  let  me  manage  it,  and  no 
questions." 

"  You  couldn't  do  me  a  greater  service,  Jim.  To  say 
the  truth,  Jim,  if  they  all  hold  me  to  the  price  I  have 
agreed  to  pay,  I'm  afraid  they'll  swamp  me!" 

"I'll  go  to-night!  Yonder  comes  Sam  Marsh,  and  I'll 
hire  his  horse."  He  did  so,  and  was  soon  galloping  out 
in  the  prairie — such  was  his  faithful  devotion  to  Nap, 
whom  he  believed  to  be  the  greatest  man  in  the  State,  or 
born  to  the  greatest  luck. 

It  was  fortunate  that  Nap  asked  Jim  no  questions,  for 
he  could  hardly  have  sanctioned  the  plan  his  lieutenant  in 
business  had  conceived  for  getting  him  released  from  his 
contracts.  Jim  rode  all  night,  and  saw  about  a  dozen  of 
the  largest  planters  who  had  not  heard  the  news.  He 
made  plausible  explanations  to  them  why  he  could  not 
remain  till  morning.  It  was  necessary  for  him  to  reach 
some  place  a  few  miles  distant  without  further  delay,  after 
giving  his  poor  horse  some  corn,  and  taking  a  bite  of  some- 
thing himself.  But  at  every  house  he  was  asked  the  news. 
There  was  nothing  to  tell,  he  intimated,  of  public  interest, 
except  a  prospect  of  an  extraordinary  rise  in  the  price  of 
tobacco.  In  the  Eastern  market,  he  said,  it  was  quoted  at 
twenty  cents.  He  did  not  say  it  was  a  small  lot  of  Jones's, 
from  the  celebrated  James  River  plantation.  This  hint 
sufficed  at  several  places.  They  offered  him  handsome 
fees  to  get  them  released  from  their  contracts  with  Nap. 
Jim  was  generous,  and  would  have  no  bonus.  He  said  the 
planters  were  the  best  customers  of  the  merchant,  and  it 
would  not  be  fair  for  them  to  deliver  their  tobacco  at  a 
price  below  its  value.  And  in  virtue  of  his  authority, 
being  Nap's  duly  accredited  agent,  he  signed  releases. 
By  such  means,  in  less  than  forty-eight  hours,  contracts 
amounting  altogether  to  some  fifty  thousand  dollars'  worth 
of  "the  weed"  had  been  cancelled.  And  that  service, 
together  with  the  run  of  custom  at  the  store,  and  the 


368  LIFE    AND    ADVENTURES 

enormous  profits  charged,*  saved  Nap  from  irretrievable 
ruin,  as  was  quite  apparent  a  few  months  afterward. 

When  Jim  returned  to  Venice,  he  found  Nap  over- 
whelmed with  business.  The  store  was  crammed  with 
customers,  while  the  Jew  stood  before  his  own  door,  "look- 
ing daggers"  at  each  countryman  or  countrywoman  who 
came  forth  from  his  rival's  establishment  burdened  with 
merchandise.  Each  one  of  the  planters  who  had  been 
informed  of  the  change  in  the  tobacco  market,  and  the 
probability  of  Nap's  failure,  had  received  the  communi- 
cation confidentially  and  under  injunctions  of  inviolable 
secrecy.  And  as  it  was  to  their  interest  to  keep  the  secret, 
it  was  done  most  faithfully.  Hence  when  near  neighbours 
met  at  the  store  on  the  same  mission,  and  actuated  by  the 
same  motive,  each  one  supposed  that  he  alone  was  doing 
the  smartest  action.  Nap,  of  course,  was  ignorant  of  the 
motive  which  impelled  them.  Even  their  wives  and 
daughters,  who  could  not  be  intrusted  with  such  a  secret 
on  any  account  whatever,  exulted  in  the  supposed  newborn 
generosity  on  the  part  of  their  lords  and  parents.  And 
as  for  the  Jew,  he  seemed  to  be  upon  the  eve  of  bursting 
with  undissembled  rage,  while  Jim,  although  he  sympa- 
thized with  Nap,  was,  otherwise,  the  happiest  man  in 
existence. 

The  run  of  custom  which  Nap's  store  had  so  unaccount- 
ably obtained,  continued  until  his  stock  was  completely 
broken.  In  the  course  of  a  few  months,  not  one-half  the 
articles  asked  for  could  be  supplied ;  and  Nap,  now  acting 
with  the  advice  of  Polly,  declined  ordering  a  new  supply 
until  the  result  of  his  tobacco  speculation  should  be  known. 
The  idea  of  his  going  East  for  more  goods  until  another 
matter  had  been  consummated,  was  not  at  all  to  be  thought 
of.  And  he  was  the  more  strengthened  in  this  opinion, 
when  the  reverend  Mr.  Smith,  the  blacksmith  of  the  town, 
and  now  the  postmaster,  placed  in  his  hands  a  most  indig- 
nant letter  from  Mr.  Brook.  Mr.  B.  abused  him  roundly 
for  engaging  in  the  tobacco  speculation,  which,  he  said, 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  369 

from  the  information  lie  had  received,  would  certainly 
leave  him  a  beggar.  He  concluded  by  a  most  positive  as- 
sertion that  Molly  should  never  be  his  wife.  No  daughter 
of  his  should  ever  marry  any  such  a  fool.  Nap  laughed 
heartily  at  this  epistle ;  and  Polly  congratulated  him  on 
the  termination  of  his  fears  of  being  sued  for  a  breach  of 
marriage  contract. 

Rhino,  the  Jew,  became  melancholy.  He  declared  that 
the  people  would  rather  pay  Nap  a  dollar  than  himself 
fifty  cents  for  the  same  article.  Never  before  had  he  been 
so  completely  frustrated  in  his  calculations,  and  he  had 
sold  goods  at  more  than  one  point  in  Missouri.  He  had  a 
young  clerk  of  his  tribe,  just  imported  from  Germany,  who 
was,  or  pretended  to  be,  very  ignorant  of  the  English  lan- 
guage;  and  when  complaining  to  Marsh  that  the  "beeble" 
wouldn't  buy  his  ^'goots"  any  more,  Sam  told  him  it  was 
owing  to  his  clerk,  who  could  not  understand  what  was 
called  for,  or  make  himself  understood. 

"  He's  learnt  de  names  of  de  money,  and  can  tell  dem 
de  brice,"  said  Rhino.  But  Rhino  declared  that  when  his 
man  asked  "von  voman"  a  dollar  for  a  shawl,  she  went  to 
Nap's  and  paid  two  dollars  for  one  precisely  similar  to  it. 

But  Rhino  had  not  played  all  his  cards.  Late  one  night, 
Nap  and  Jim  were  awakened  by  a  tremendous  kicking  and 
thumping  at  the  door,  which  was  succeeded  by  a  howling 
such  as  they  had  never  before  heard. 

"  See  what  that  is,  Jim,"  said  Nap,  without  rising  from 
his  pallet  of  blankets  on  the  counter.  Jim  drew  a  loco- 
foco  match  from  his  pocket,  where  he  always  kept  them, 
being  an  inveterate  smoker,  and  lighted  a  candle.  He 
then  proceeded  rather  cautiously  to  open  the  door.  No 
one  was  there.  But  sitting  on  the  step  next  door,  he  be- 
held the  clerk  of  Rhino,  sobbing  and  howling  in  a  most 
unaccountable  manner.  Jim  asked  what  was  the  matter 
several  times  before  he  recollected  that  the  boy  could  speak 
but  few  words  in  English.  He  thought  his  conduct  most 
extraordinary,  and  approached  him  to  see,  if  possible,  what 


370  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

had  occurred.  The  cause  was  soon  evident ;  a  red  glare 
in  the  rear  of  the  store,  and  a  cloud  of  suffocating  smoke, 
saluted  his  eyes  and  nostrils  upon  pushing  open  the  door. 

"You  double-purple  rascal,  what  did  you  do  that  for?" 
cried  Jim,  tumbling  the  boy  over.  <'  What're  you  sitting 
out  here  for,  when  the  store's  on  fire  ?  Nap  !  Nap !  Nap !" 
cried  he,  running  to  the  other  door. 

"  What's  the  matter,  Jim  ?"  cried  Nap,  springing  up. 

"Fire!  fire!  fire!"  was  Jim's  only  response.  He  ran 
over  to  Sam  Marsh's  tavern  and  pulled  away  at  the  bell, 
which  had  been  hung  before  the  door  that  day.  This  un- 
usual sound  at  such  an  hour,  soon  aroused  all  the  inhabit- 
ants of  the  town.  Jim  then  ran  back,  losing  one  of  his 
boots  in  a  mudhole  in  the  middle  of  the  street. 

"Run  into  our  store,  you  infernal  negroes,  and  carry 
out  the  goods  !"  This  order  was  given  to  several  colored 
men  and  women  who  emerged  from  a  neighbouring  kitchen, 
and  being  an  order,  it  was  promptly  obeyed.  But  Nap 
was  a  host  himself.  He  was  a  tower  of  strength.  Bar- 
rels, boxes,  and  bales  fled  before  him  into  the  street.  When 
the  room  was  filled  with  the  neighbours,  he  desisted  from 
that  operation,  and  confined  himself  to  heaping  loads  upon 
the  others.  In  less  than  ten  minutes,  two-thirds  of  his 
stock,  reduced  as  it  was,  had  been  carried  out,  and  piled 
in  the  middle  of  the  street. 

On  the  other  hand.  Rhino,  who  was  soon  upon  the 
ground,  never  attempted  to  save  any  thing.  He  was  fully 
insured.  But,  fortunately.  Brother  Keene,  who  had  leased 
him  the  house,  and  had  no  insurance,  ran  in  and  smothered 
the  fire  with  blankets.  His  hands  were  dreadfully  burned, 
but  his  property  was  saved.  And  so  was  Nap's,  which  was 
separated  from  it  only  by  a  slight  wooden  partition. 

Then  began  the  process  of  carrying  Nap's  goods  back 
again,  and  it  required  a  much  longer  time  to  do  it  than  it 
had  taken  to  run  them  out.  When  this  job  was  over,  both 
Nap  and  Jim  went  into  the  Jew's  store  to  see  how  the  fire 
had  occurred.     It  had  originated  in  a  corner  remote  from 


OF  A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  871 

the  stove,  and  equally  as  distant  from  the  couch  upon 
which  the  clerk  slept.  He  could  give  no  explanation.  He 
merely  declared  that  he  had  lain  down  and  gone  to  sleep 
as  usual,  and  at  the  customary  hour. 

''  There's  a  double-purple  madder-dyed  rascal  some- 
where!"  said  Jim,  after  surveying  the  scene  some  time  in 
silence. 

The  next  day,  Rhino  had  the  damage  assessed,  which 
amounted  to  some  two  thousand  dollars.  Not  one-fourth 
of  that  amount  of  goods  had  been  burned ;  but  the  whole 
stock,  and  it  was  a  pretty  large  one,  had  been  considerably 
smoked.     The  company  ultimately  paid  the  damage. 

And  now  began  a  resuscitation  of  business  with  the  Jew. 
His  damaged  goods  attracted  customers,  and  he  had  a  fine 
run  of  trade,  selling,  as  he  had  always  done,  at  any  price 
he  could  get.  Nap's  stock  grew  more  and  more  imperfect; 
and  hence  his  sales  diminished  as  those  of  the  Jew  in- 
creased. But  Nap  had  enjoyed  the  satisfaction,  if  such  a 
feeling  were  justifiable,  of  learning  from  Rhino's  invoices, 
which  had  been  produced  after  the  fire,  that  his  competitor 
was  in  the  habit  of  paying  from  fifteen  to  twenty  per  cent, 
more  than  he  had  done  for  the  most  common  staples. 
Hence  he  felt  very  sure  that  Rhino  would  not  be  likely  to 
make  a  fortune  from  his  profits  at  the  prices  he  asked  for 
his  goods.     But  he  was  mistaken. 

After  "running  ofi""  his  damaged  goods,  and  reducing 
his  stock  as  much  as  possible,  during  the  month  succeeding 
the  fire.  Rhino  closed  his  door  and  made  an  assignment,  as 
he  said,  for  the  benefit  of  his  creditors.  The  assets 
amounted  to  about  twelve  thousand  dollars,  and  the  liabi- 
lities to  thirty  thousand.  He  had  no  money — for  his 
creditors.     A  few  days  after,  he  was  gone. 

But  two  competitors  came  in  his  place;  they  were 
Christians,  however,  and  Jim  was  satisfied,  while  Nap  con- 
soled himself  with  the  reflection  that  the  more  business 
there  was  done  in  the  place,  and  the  greater  the  number 


372  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

of  inhabitants,  the  more  valuable  would  become  his  unim- 
proved lots. 

One  of  the  new  merchants,  Mr.  Jameson,  was  a  bachelor, 
and  a  very  polite  one.  During  the  two  or  three  months 
succeeding  his  removal  to  Venice,  he  frequently  rode  out 
into  the  country,  "electioneering,"  as  he  termed  it;  but 
his  landlord,  Sam  Marsh,  said  it  was  to  see  the  girls.  Nap 
learned  he  had  bee^  at  Colonel  Hopkins's,  and  did  not  seem 
to  relish  his  visits  there.  But  one  day,  when  Polly  came 
to  town  in  company  with  her  mother,  and  rode  by  his  store 
without  stopping,  and  dismounted  at  Mr.  Jameson's  door, 
assisted  by  Mr.  J.  himself.  Nap  was  seized  with  a  fit  of 
jealousy.  It  was  the  second  time  in  his  life  that  he  had 
been  afflicted  with  the  passion,  and  it  agitated  his  frame 
tremendously.  Jim  was  standing  beside  him  when  the 
ladies  trotted  by,  and  could  not  avoid  observing  his  change 
of  countenance.  Jim  sympathized  with  him  in  every 
thing,  and  words  were  unnecessary,  on  the  present  occa- 
sion, to  be  informed  of  the  condition  of  his  principal's 
feelings. 

"  Let  her  rip  !"  said  Jim,  turning  indignantly  away,  and 
retreating  to  the  extremity  of  the  room,  where  his  cot  still 
remained  spread  open  as  he  had  left  it  in  the  morning. 
But  few  customers  came  now  to  cull  the  remnants  that 
remained,  and  country  merchants  are  apt  to  grow  negli- 
gent when  they  have  but  few  visitors. 

Nap  had  a  habit,  when  greatly  vexed,  of  prostrating 
himself  violently  with  his  face  downward.  This  time  he 
rushed  back  to  where  Jim  was  standing,  and  threw  himself 
on  the  cot.  It  gave  way  under  his  weight,  and  came  down 
with  a  mighty  crash. 

"Let  it  rip!"  cried  Jim.  Nap  neither  spoke  nor 
groaned.  He  remained  perfectly  silent  and.  motionless. 
"What's  the  matter,  Nap?"  asked  Jim,  seeing  he  did  not 
move.     "Are  you  hurt  ?" 

"Yes,"  was  the  laconic  reply. 

"Where?" 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  373 

"  Here  !"  said  Nap,  rolling  over  on  his  back,  and  placing 
his  hand  on  his  breast.  Jim  got  a  bottle  of  opodeldoc  and 
drew  the  cork. 

''Let  me  see.  Nap,"  said  he,  unbuttoning  the  vest  and 
shirt-bosom  of  his  employer.  <<  Let  me  rub  some  of  this 
on  it.  If  it's  a  cut  from  a  splinter,  or  a  bruise,  it'll  cure 
it.  I  don't  see  any  wound.  It  must  be  bruised."  He 
rubbed  a  quantity  of  the  opodeldoc  on  the  place  supposed 
to  be  injured,  before  Nap  could  arrest  his  hand. 

"  The  cot  has  not  hurt  me,  Jim ;  but  Polly  has.  It's 
my  heart,  Jim  !  I  didn't  think  she  was  that  sort  of  a  girl ! 
And  I've  been  to  see  her  every  Sunday  for  the  last  six 
months !" 

s  «  Oh,  she's  just  trying  you.  She  wants  to  know  if  you 
can  be  jealous,  that's  all.  She  asked  me,  one  day,  if  you 
ever  got  jealous.  And  when  I  said  no,  she  said  nobody 
could  be  much  in  love  without  being  a  little  touched  that 
way  sometimes." 

"But  even  if  that's  it,  it  is  cruel  in  her !" 

<'May  be  she's  going  to  call  as  she  goes  back." 

"  She  ought  to  have  stopped  here  first.  Sam  Marsh, 
and  everybody  else,  will  joke  me  at  the  dinner-table. 
They'll  say  Jameson  has  '  cut  me  out.'  She  oughtn't  to 
have  encouraged  the  fellow  any  at  the  start.  He's  forty 
years  old" 

"And  wears  a  wig!"  said  Jim,  quickly. 

"He  does?" 

"  I'll  swear  to  it !  His  head's  as  bald  as  an  egg.  Polly 
don't  know  that." 

"I'll  tell  her  !  If  I  can't  get  a  chance  to  tell  her,  Jim, 
you  must  do  it." 

Jim  promised  to  do  so,  and  to  do  it  that  day.  Nap 
breathed  a  little  easier,  but  he  could  not  altogether  con- 
-trol  his  violent  palpitations.  Sometimes  he  panted  like  a 
porpoise,  and  ever  and  anon  ran  to  the  door  and  peeped 
along  the  street  toward  Mr.  J.'s  store. 

"There  they  are  !"  said  he,  in  a  whistling  whisper. 

32 


374  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"Are  they  coming  here.  Nap?"  asked  Jim,  pushing  the 
•wreck  of  his  cot  under  the  counter. 

"  No  !  The  d 1  take  his  bald  head  !  Jim,  he's  help- 
ing them  on  their  horses.  They  won't  come  to  see  us. 
She  shan't  see  me.  Remember  the  bald  head,  Jim  !" 
Having  uttered  this  injunction.  Nap  rushed  out,  and  turn- 
ing to  the  right,  dashed  spasmodically  along  the  road  until 
he  came  to  the  giant  trees  beyond  the  limits  of  the  town. 
Here  he  paused  and  got  behind  a  large  oak,  from  whence  he 
could  see  if  Jim  hailed  the  party  when  they  rode  past  the 
store.  Soon  he  stooped  convulsively,  with  his  hands  on 
his  knees,  his  eyes  enlarged,  and  his  whole  face  denoting 
the  interest  he  felt  in  what  was  going  on.  He  saw  them 
halt,  and  Jim  step  out  toward  them ;  but  he  strove  in  vain 
to  hear  what  was  said  and  the  manner  of  it.  Presently 
Polly  and  her  mother  rode  on  again.  Nap  retreated 
hastily  a  few  paces  farther  from  the  road,  to  another  large 
tree.  He  heard  the  hoofs  of  the  horses  playing  on  the 
dry  road,  there  having  been  no  rain  for  nearly  two  months. 
Then  hearty  laughter,  ringing  from  the  fair  throat  of  his  affi- 
anced charmer,  struck  upon  his  ears.  It  rang  through  the 
woods  like  the  tones  of  a  bell  on  a  calm  frosty  morning.  Oh ! 
what  could  she  be  laughing  about !  mentally  asked  poor 
Nap,  his  knees  shaking  together  as  violently  as  they  had 
ever  done  during  a  fit  of  the  ague.  When  they  drew  near, 
he  saw  Polly  lean  forward,  and  almost  prostrate  herself  on 
the  neck  of  her  horse,  from  the  exhausting  effects  of  her 
cachinnatory  exercises.  Her  mother,  too,  was  red  in  the 
face  from  recent  merriment.  Then  they  whipped  forward 
rapidly  and  were  soon  out  of  sight  and  hearing. 

Nap  flung  himself  down  on  his  face,  and  kicked  up  his 
heels  in  agony.  He  doubled  up  his  fists  and  thrust  them 
out  frantically  on  each  side  of  his  head.  He  was  found 
in  that  condition  by  the  Rev.  Mr.  Snorter,  the  great  gun 
of  the  camp-meetings,  who  was  to  preach  that  night  in  the 
court-house.  His  horse  had  been  frightened  by  the  motion 
of  Nap's  feet,  which  attracted  his  eyes  in  that  direction. 


OF   A    COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  375 

As  soon  as  he  saw  who  it  was  he  dismounted.  Not  doubt- 
ing that  Nap  was  under  spiritual  influence,  the  well-mean- 
ing parson  prostrated  himself  on  his  knees  beside  the 
young  man.  "0  good  Lord,"  said  he,  "give  him  power 
to  struggle  manfully !  Forgive  his  many  sins,  and  grant 
him  salva" 

Nap  sprang  up  on  his  haunches  and  interrupted  him. 
He  stared  at  the  reverend  gentleman  wildly,  as  he  would 
have  done  at  some  beast  of  prey,  until  he  comprehended 
his  meaning. 

"My  dear  young  brother,"  said  Snorter,  <'I  thought 
you  were  wrastling  with  the  Sperit ;  and  so  I  felt  bound 
to  help  you.  I  never  forget  any  of  our  convarts.  You 
came  once  within  our  holy  altar — it  was  at  the  camp-meet- 
ing in county." 

"I  haven't  much  faith  in  camp-meetings,"  said  Nap, 
sullenly,  and  by  no  means  pleased  with  the  reminiscence. 

"  You  haven't  ?  May  the  good  Lord  have  marcy  on  your 
soul!     What  was  the  matter  with  you?" 

"  Oh,  I  was  afraid  of  having  a  chill,  and  drank  too 
much  brandy,"  said  Nap,  rising  to  his  feet,  and  retracing 
his  steps  toward  his  store,  while  the  parson  walked  beside 
him,  exhorting  him  all  the  way  to  turn  from  his  wickedness. 

"  Did  you  tell  her,  Jim  ?"  asked  Nap,  springing  into  the 
store,  and  unceremoniously  abandoning  Snorter  to  his 
fate. 

"Durned  if  I  didn't!"  said  Jim. 

"And  what  did  she  say?" 

(■  She  almost  split  her  face  open  laughing." 

"Did  she  say  nothing  at  all?" 

"  She  couldn't  for  a  long  time.  But  when  she  got  her 
speech  back,  she  asked  for  you." 

"What  did  you  say?" 

"  I  said  you  had  left  town  just  a  few  minutes  before." 

"What  did  she  say  to  that?" 

"  She  said  she  wanted  to  see  you ;  and  that  she  has 
Bome  news  frcrm  Kentucky." 


876  LIFE    AND   ADVENTURES 

««I  know  what  that  is.  Molly's  married  to  Augustus 
Smart.  And  now  I've  got  only  one  string  to  my  bow. 
That's  the  reason  she  went  to  J.'s  store  first.  Did  she 
say  any  thing  else  ?" 

"  Yes ;  just  as  she  rode  off,  she  said,  Jim,  watch  Nap ; 
don't  let  him  hang  himself  in  the  woods  with  a  grape-vine. 
Then  she  laughed  like  a  wildcat  all  along  the  road  as  far 
as  I  could  hear  her." 

Nap's  incubus,  the  green-eyed  monster,  was  removed  for 
the  time  being  by  the  entrance  of  the  Rev.  John  Smith, 
blacksmith  and  postmaster.  He  bore  a  letter,  the  super- 
scription of  which  was  in  the  well-known  hand  of  Colonel 
Benton.  It  was  in  reply  to  a  letter  written  him  by  Nap, 
at  the  solicitation  of  Polly.  Polly,  it  appears,  had  really 
become  impatient  for  the  expiration  of  the  time  allotted 
Nap  to  put  his  house  in  order  for  matrimony,  notwith- 
standing her  seeming  flirtation  with  Mr.  J. ;  and  she  had 
advised  him  to  compromise  with  the  tobacco-planters  who 
had  not  yet  released  him  from  his  contracts.  She  then 
requested  him  to  write  to  Colonel  Benton  on  the  subject, 
and  get  his  opinion  as  to  the  best  plan  of  his  extricating 
himself  from  his  dilemma. 

The  letter  began  with  a  highly  wrought  eulogy  of  Polly 
Hopkins,  for  Nap  had  told  him  the  whole  tale;  and  it 
ended  by  advising  him  to  settle  with  the  planters  without 
delay,  and  on  the  best  terms  they  would  grant — as  any 
terms  they  might  grant  would  be  better  than  going  to  law. 
The  expenses  of  lawsuits  alone  would  ruin  him.  If  he 
employed  a  lawyer  at  all,  let  it  be  for  the  purpose  of  get- 
ting him  out  of  the  scrape,  and  at  all  hazards  to  keep  out 
of  the  courts.  And  as  soon  as  his  difficulties  were  over, 
the  Colonel  advised  him  to  marry  Polly  Hopkins  without 
delay,  and  always  to  take  her  advice  before  embarking  in 
new  speculations. 

t'Jim!"  said  Nap — Mr.  Smith,  the  blacksmith,  post- 
master, and  preacher  having  withdrawn — ''  how  can  I  marry 
her,  if  she  goes  to  bucking  up  to  this-baldheaded  J.  ?"    . 


OF   A    COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  377 

"  She's  just  doing  it  to  try  you.  You'd  soon  cure  her 
of  that  trick,  if  you  would  make  a  dead  set  at  Sally 
Weighton  during  this  protracted  meeting,  which  begins  to- 
night.    Polly  will  be  here  every  day,  certain." 

Nap  thought  he  would  try  it,  and  was  comforted.  He 
then  sat  down  and  wrote  to  Mr.  Switzler,  at  Brunswick, 
to  come  to  Venice  and  negotiate  him  out  of  his  tobacco 
troubles.  He  did  this,  because  he  understood  some  of  the 
planters  had  determined  to  write  to  the   same  place  and 

engage    the    services  of   Messrs.  S and  A ,  who 

were  at  the  same  time  the  assignees  of  Rhino  and  the 
lawyers  employed  by  his  creditors  to  prosecute  their 
claims. 

The  next  day,  sure  enough,  Nap  was  seen  gallanting 
Sally  Weighton  to  the  court-house.  And  he  ogled  her 
a  great  deal  during  the  singing  of  the  hymns,  and  while 
Mr.  Snorter  was  ranting  from  the  text  of  the  austere  man 
and  the  ten  talents.  Mr.  S.  was  originally  from  the  East- 
ern Shore  of  Maryland,  near  the  Chesapeake  Bay,  and  he 
handled  his  text  in  a  most  unique  manner.  He  pro- 
nounced austere  oyster,  and  converted  the  lord  of  great 
wealth  into  an  oysterman  !  <'My  dear  brethren,"  said 
he,  «'you  are  not  all,  I  reckon,  familiar  with  the  oyster- 
ing  business.  They  go  out  in  large  canoes,  and  with 
long-handled  tongs  pull  up  the  wild  oysters  from  the  bot- 
tom of  the  bay,  in  shallow  places,  when  the  tide  is  at  ebb. 
They  get  'em  up  sometimes  in  great  lumps  as  big  as  a 
half-bushel  basket.  These  lumps  are  made  of  hundreds 
of  oysters  sticking  together.  They  break  'em  apart,  and 
fill  the  canoes  with  'em.  And  then  they  row  up  the  creeks 
and  scatter  'em  in  the  beds  staked  out  in  the  water  near 
the  house.  They  plant  'em  there  to  keep  the  negroes 
from  stealing  'em.  If  anybody  goes  after  'em  in  the 
night,  the  dogs  at  the  house  will  be  sure  to  bark  at  'em 
and  give  warning.  My  dear  friends,  the  next  season  some 
of  these  beds  yield  an  increase  of  tenfold,  some  of  five, 
some  of  two,  and  some  of  nothing.     If  they  are  sown  in 

32* 


378  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

places  where  tlie  tide  leaves  'em  too  long,  they  die,  or  the 
coons  eat  'em.  It  all  depends  on  the  servant  intrusted 
by  the  owner  or  lord  of  the  soil,  just  as  it  was  with  the 
oysterman  who  intrusted  the  talents  with  his  servants. 
The  talents  were  the  same  as  oysters,  and  no  doubt  the 
oysterman  had  received  them  for  a  load  of  oysters.  But 
the  oysterman  was  not  honest  himself.  He  gathered  where 
he  had  not  sown,  and  I  don't  think  he  ought  to  have  pu- 
nished his  servants." 

In  this  manner  Mr.  Snorter  edified  his  hearers  ;  and  be- 
fore the  subject  was  exhausted,  he  had  risen  to  a  high  pitch 
of  enthusiasm,  and  got  some  of  the  congregation,  and  Mrs. 
Fennel  in  particular,  so  greatly  excited,  that  there  was 
considerable  shouting  and  moaning  at  the  end  of  the 
sermon. 

Polly,  who  was  present,  and  whose  presence  had  not 
been  observed  by  Nap,  for  she  occupied  an  obscure  seat 
against  the  wall,  watched  her  plighted  lord  with  serious 
concern.  She  knew  all  about  the  impressibility  of  his 
nature,  and  did  not  believe  Sally,  demure  and  pious  as  she 
pretended  to  be,  wms  any  too  good  to  take  advantage 
of  his  complying  disposition.  Sally  had  a  pretty  foot 
and  ankle,  and  she  displayed  them ;  she  had  a  fine  bust 
and  handsome  shoulders,  and  they  were  exhibited.  These 
things  were  all  apparent  to  Polly,  who  of  course  was  ini- 
tiated into  the  mystery  of  the  best  manner  of  playing 
off  such  innocent  attractions,  and  so  she  determined  to 
cut  the  matter  short,  before  it  had  time  to  grow  into  formi- 
dable dimensions. 

Therefore,  when  the  congregation  was  dispersing  at 
dinner-time,  and  when  Nap  was  about  to  offer  his  left  arm 
to  Sally,  he  felt  a  smart  slap  on  his  right  shoulder. 
Turning,  he  was  confronted  by  the  serious  brow  of  Polly. 
He  turned  pale,  and  then  blushed  deeply.  His  feelings 
were  indescribable,  but  his  back  was  turned  upon  Sally, 
who  went  out  alone  with  her  vail  down  and  concealing  a 
projecting  nether  lip. 


OF   A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  379 

Nap  and  Polly  remained  until  everybody  else  had  left  the 
house. 

<'  "What  do  you  mean,  Nap  ?"  asked  Polly.  » 

"Mean?" 

"Yes.  What  do  you  mean  by  running  after  Sally 
Weighton?" 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  running  after  Mr.  J.  ?" 

"  Oh,  was  that  it?"  she  exclaimed,  laughing.  "Nothing 
at  all.  I  hope  you  don't  suppose  I  could  fall  in  love  with 
a  bald-headed  man?" 

"  I  don't  know.     Sam  Marsh  says  they  are  the  d 1 

after  the  women  !" 

"Indeed!  But  how  did  you  happen  to  fall  in  with 
that  cunning  girl  ?  Did  she  invite  you  to  go  with  her  to 
church  ?" 

"No.     It  was  an  idea  I  got  from  Jim  !" 

"I  thought  so!  Tell  Jim  I'll  pull  his  ears  for  him,  if 
he  don't  attend  to  his  own  business,  and  let  other  people's 
affairs  alone.  Don't  fool  after  that  girl  any  more,  Nap, 
and  I'll  promise  not  to  fall  in  love  with  Mr.  J." 

All  was  amicably  adjusted  before  they  left  the  house ; 
and  as  they  proceeded  lovingly  together  toward  the  ta- 
vern where  they  were  to  dine.  Nap  related  what  had  been 
written  him  by  Colonel  Benton,  and  particularly  the  con- 
clusion of  the  letter.  Polly  thought  the  Colonel's  advice 
very  good,  and  promised  to  name  the  happy  day,  as  soon  as 
Hamilton  S.  had  settled  matters  with  the  planters,  so  that 
Nap  could  dismiss  the  troubles  his  precipitate  speculation 
had  brought  upOn  his  mind,  and  henceforth  attend  to  his 
legitimate  business,  and  love  his  wife  as  all  good  husbands 
should  do. 

In  the  course  of  a  few  weeks,  Mr.  Switzler  had  seen  all 
the  planters  with  whom  Nap  had  made  contracts.  After 
having  a  "talk"  with  each  one  of  them,  and  representing 
the  utter  impossibility  of  Nap's  compliance  with  his 
engagements,  and  the  probability  of  his  bankruptcy  if 
required  to  receive  the  tobacco,  and  which   might   then 

\ 


380  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

prove  a  losing  business  to  all  the  parties,  he  appointed  a 
day  for  them  to  meet  at  the  court-house  for  the  purpose  of 
effecting  a  compromise  on  some  equitable  basis.  Having 
prepared  them  thus  to  entertain  the  proposition  previously 
concerted,  he  returned  to  town,  and  made  a  handsome 
drawing  of  Nap's  unsold  lots.  The  price,  at  a  "fair  valu- 
ation," was  marked  in  red  ink  on  each  lot,  and  the  whole 
number  amounted  to  so  large  a  sum,  that  if  Nap  could 
have  realized  it,  and  had  not  been  tempted  to  speculate 
out  of  the  line  of  his  business,  it  would  have  been  suffi- 
cient for  him  to  retire  with. 

When  the  planters  were  assembled  in  the  court-house 
on  the  day  appointed  for  the  meeting,  Switzler  arose  and 
made  a  most  eloquent  speech  to  them.  .  He  dilated  on  the 
important  service  his  friend  had  rendered  his  county,  in 
founding  a  town  and  bringing  merchandise  into  the 
neighbourhood.  He  had  obviated  the  necessity  of  the 
farmers  going  a  great  distance  for  their  goods,  and  his 
improvements  at  the  county  landing  had  increased  the 
value  of  the  lands,  and  caused  the  agents  of  capitalists  to 
settle  in  their  midst,  thus  making  a  market  at  their  doors. 
In  this  manner  he  painted  the  character  of  his  client,  and 
touched  the  sympathies  of  his  auditory.  He  then  laid  before 
them  his  proposition.  Each  one  was  to  put  down  on  paper 
the  sum  which  he  supposed  would  indemnify  him  for  the 
reduced  price  he  might  be  under  the  necessity  of  taking 
for  his  tobacco  from  the  agents  of  the  capitalists.  This 
w^as  done  immediately,  for  pens,  ink,  and  paper  had  been 
placed  before  them  on  the  long  table.  The  amount,  when 
summed  up,  was  very  considerable. 

"Now,  gentlemen,"  said  Mr.  S.,  unrolling  his  chart, 
"  here  is  Nap's  property.  He  gives  up  all  to  you,  fairly 
and  honourably.  The  lots  are  numbered  and  valued  by 
disinterested  men.  You  can  either  draw  lots  for  the  first 
choice,  or  I  will  put  them  up  to  the  highest  bidder,  with 
the  understanding  that  no  lot  is  to  be  knocked  dow^n  at  a 
less  price  than  the  valuation  placed  upon  it  in  red  ink." 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  381 

The  latter  plan  was  agreed  to,  and  the  bidding  was  soon 
very  spirited.  Jim  stimulated  the  generous  planters  with  an 
abundance  of  good  brandy,  and  most  of  the  lots  brought 
from  ten  to  twenty  per  cent,  more  than  the  valuation. 

And  so  Nap  had  paid  the  penalty  of  his  rash  speculation, 
and  had  only  about  twenty  lots  left  besides  the  one  on 
which  his  store  had  been  built.  But  he  still  had  some 
money  in  the  hands  of  his  Eastern  friend ;  about  one 
thousand  five  hundred  dollars'  worth  of  goods  in  his  store ; 
and  nearly  one  thousand  two  hundred  dollars  in  notes  and 
book  accounts,  after  deducting  the  bills  of  the  planters, 
which  had  been  taken  into  account  in  the  settlement  at 
the  court-house.  Thus  he  was  no  better  off,  though  by  no 
means  a  bankrupt,  than  he  might  have  been,  if  he  had 
done  nothing  from  the  beginning  but  reaped  the  usual 
profits  of  his  business.  His  successful  speculation  in  lots 
had  only  induced  a  second  speculation  which  was  not  so 
fortunate,  and  which  swallowed  up  most  of  the  gains  of 
the  first  one,  for  he  had  advanced  considerable  sums  on 
some  of  the  crops.  But  his  credit  was  saved,  and  he  was 
not  likely  to  embark  in  any  new  projects  which  might 
result  disastrously. 

Joseph  Handy  had  been  the  most  successful  of  any  of 

the  young  merchants  who  left  C ,  in  Kentucky,  without 

capital,  and  sought  their  fortunes  in  the  wilds  of  Missouri. 
Although  enterprising,  and  his  ideas  ever  on  the  wing  in 
quest  of  dollars,  yet  he  never  ventured  far  in  the  field  of 
speculation.  He  pursued  his  proper  business  very  steadily, 
being  thoroughly  conversant  with  it,  and  made  every  thing 
else  subservient  to  his  legitimate  occupation.  No  wild 
scheme,  promising  incredible  results,  could  ever  tempt  him 
to  wander  from  the  beaten  path.  The  system  of  realizing 
fair  profits,  and  consolidating  such  accumulations  with  his 
capital,  while  the  expenses  of  his  family  were  inconsider- 
able, soon  produced  the  effect  he  desired.  His  business 
increased  in  volume  every  year,  like  the  snowball  in  its 
revolutions ;  and  the  amount  of  his  annual  sales,  originally 


382  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

some  ten  or  twelve  thousand  dollars,  now  reached  to  fifty 
thousand,  and  might  in  a  few  years  be  more  than  double 
that  sum ;  while  his  net  profits  could  not  be  less  than  ten 
thousand  dollars. 

Jack  Handy  was  likewise  in  the  full  tide  of  successful 
experiment.  If  his  sales  were  not  so  great,  he  realized 
a  larger  per  cent,  profit,  and  his  expenses  were  less  than 
his  brother's.  He  had  been  absolved  from  his  pledge  by 
the  General,  who  had  gone  to  Europe ;  and  Kate  being 
pleased  to  remain  in  Missouri,  he  resolved  to  continue  in 
the  line  of  business  to  which  he  had  become  habituated. 

Ben  Handy  had  a  small  branch  concern;  and  although 
his  capital  was  small,  he  did  not  despair  of  increasing  it, 
and  ultimately  outstripping  the  whole  family  in  the  race 
for  w^ealth.  His  system  was  to  get  all  he  could — honestly 
and  honourably — and  to  spend  nothing.  The  latter  rule 
was  not  quite  practicable ;  but  he  approximated  it.  His 
annual  profits  were  almost  entirely  added  to  his  capital, 
and  the  young  giant  was  growing  apace. 

There  was  still  another  Handy,  the  eldest  of  them  all, 
who  abandoned  his  profession  and  embarked  in  trade. 
This  was  Richard,  who  with  a  moderate  capital,  settled  in 
the  southern  portion  of  the  State,  and  began  business  on 
the  cash  system.  He  kept  no  books,  and  declined  selling 
goods  to  any  one  who  had  not  the  money  to  pay  for  them. 
He,  too,  was  successful,  and  was  fast  making  a  fortune. 
His  goods  were  mostly  bought  for  cash,  and  selected  out 
of  season.  Hence  he  paid  less  for  them  than  any  one  else 
in  his  region  of  country,  and  could  afford  to  sell  at  a  less 
price.  The  fashions,  styles,  and  patterns  were  matters 
of  no  importance  to  those  who  bought  their  staple  prints 
&c.  of  him.  He  sold  none  but  good  articles,  such  as  he 
could  recommend ;  and  by  the  undeviating  truth  of  his 
representations,  he  acquired  the  confidence  of  his  cus- 
tomers, and  won  the  esteem  of  the  Eastern  jobbers.  The 
latter  were  always  ready  to  give  him  a  hearty  welcome,  and 
happy  to  sell  him  any  amount  he  might  choose  to  name. 


OF  A  COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  383 


CHAPTER  XXX. 

Nap's  wedding — General  rejoicing — Nap  and  Polly  and  Jack  and  Kate 
embark  for  Kentucky. 

At  length  the  time  appointed  for  the  wedding  was  at 
hand.  And  it  so  happened  that  Captain  Jewett  landed 
his  fine  steamer  at  Venice  on  the  morning  of  the  day  upon 
which  the  nuptials  were  to  be  celebrated.  Quite  a  number 
of  Philadelphians  and  New  Yorkers,  as  well  as  Mr.  D., 
from  Baltimore,  were  on  board.  They  were  descending 
the  river,  on  their  way  home,  having  been  out  on  an 
electioneering  and  collecting  tour.  And  as  several  of  the 
gentlemen,  Messrs.  T.,  C,  P.,  and  J.,  in  particular,  were 
acquainted  with  Nap,  they  besought  the  polite  Captain  to 
prolong  the  lading  of  the  freight  he  had  to  take  on  board 
until  they  returned  from  the  wedding.  They  declared 
they  would  witness  the  ceremony,  whether  he  waited  for 
them  or  not. 

Jim  likewise  had  a  conversation  with  the  Captain.  He 
intimated  that  both  Nap,  his  principal,  and  Jack  Handy, 
besides  several  other  country  merchants,  who  would  be  at 
the  wedding,  were  in  readiness  to  go  Eastward  for  their 
new  supplies  of  goods ;  and  if  he  could  delay  a  little  while, 
he  would  not  only  have  more  passengers,  but  lay  the 
merchants  under  obligations  to  ship  their  goods  on  his 
boat  when  they  arrived  at  St.  Louis.  Captain  Jewett  not 
only  agreed  to  wait  until  Nap  could  be  married,  but  like- 
wise resolved  to  attend  the  wedding  himself.  This  was 
announced  in  the  cabin,  and  was  loudly  cheered  by  Nap's 
friends.  It  was,  however,  objected  to  by  a  passenger  from 
Boston,  who  was  anxious  to  get  home. 

"  I  will  make  it  up.  You  shall  not  be  an  hour  later 
getting  to  St.  Louis,"  said  the  Captain. 


884  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

<« You'll  burst  a  boiler!" 

<'  No,  we  never  do  that  here.  But  we  will  not  stop  as 
long  as  usual  at  the  other  places." 

''But  the  water  is  all  running  away.  As  we  went  up, 
I  heard  you  say  the  boat  had  to  jump  the  bars." 

''And  so  she  did.     But  there  is  more  water  now." 

"  How  can  that  be,  since  there  has  been  no  rain?" 

^«  There  has  not  only  been  no  rain,"  said  the  Captain, 
<'but  the  river  has  fallen  three  feet." 

"  And  yet  you  say  there  is  more  water  !" 

"I  do." 

"  Why,  there  were  only  three  feet  and  six  inches  on  the 
bars  as  we  went  up." 

"Granted." 

"  Then  there  can  be  but  six  inches  on  them  now." 

"Four  feet." 

"Instead  of  the  river  being  called  the  'Mad  Missouri,' 
I  think  the  steamboat  captains  ought  to  be  called  mad- 
men !" 

"Not  at  all.  The  river  is  not  half  so  wide  as  it  was 
before  it  fell,  and  there  is  but  one  channel  now.  In  it  the 
current  runs  so  strongly  that  the  sand  is  swept  away,  and 
there  is  actually  a  greater  depth  of  water  than  there  was 
before  the  river  fell.  The  most  unfortunate  thing  that 
could  occur  at  this  time  would  be  a  rise" 

"A  rise?" 

"  Yes ;  that  is  a  moderate  one  of  two  or  three  feet.  It 
would  conceal  the  channel,  and  we  should  be  getting 
aground  continually." 

It  was  precisely  as  the  Captain  stated,  as  all  know  who 
are  at  all  conversant  with  that  strange  stream. 

Just  then  Nap  made  his  appearance  in  the  cabin,  and 
was  saluted  with  loud  huzzas,  for  some  of  the  "boys" 
were  quite  merry.  And  when  the  Captain's  purpose  was 
made  known  to  him,  he  declared  he  felt  so  happy  that  if 
he  were  not  going  to  be  married  that  day,  he  would  have 
a  "spree,"  even  if  it  cost  him  a  headache  afterward.    But 


OF  A   COUNTRY    MERCHANT.  385 

all  the  rest  should  spree  to  their  heart's  content,  and  he 
invited  as  many  to  his  wedding  as  could  find  the  means  of 
going  thither. 

Most  of  the  cabin  passengers  procured  horses^  and 
accompanied  the  bridegroom  out  to  Colonel  Hopkins's. 
Captain  Jewett  rode  Jim's  horse.  Jim  had  not  been  able 
to  restrain  himself  on  the  joyful  occasion,  and  when  the 
time  came  for  him  to  mount,  he  was  unable  to  do  so.  He 
declared  there  were  two  horses  held  for  him,  and  requested 
the  Captain  to  ride  one  of  them  away.  Then  he  said  the 
Captain  had  both. 

"Let  'em  rip!"  cried  he;  <'I'll  walk.  Give  me  your 
arm,  Sam  Marsh.  We'll  go  together !"  Sam  gave  him 
his  arm  and  led  him  into  the  store,  where  he  succeeded  in 
putting  him  to  bed.  Jim  had  not  been  "in  that  way" 
since  the  time  of  Mr.  Darling's  great  temperance  lecture. 
And  he  promised  Sam,  if  he  would  only  excuse  him  to 
Nap,  that  he  would  never  get  "so"  again. 

The  company  was  too  large  for  Colonel  Hopkins's  house, 
and  so  it  was  proposed  by  Polly  herself  that  the  ceremony 
should  take  place  on  the  green,  and  beneath  the  same 
hawthorn  bower  where  Nap  had  proposed  to  marry  her. 
This  announcement  was  received  with  a  shout  of  appro- 
bation, and  acquiesced  in  by  Bishop  Hawkes,  who  was  on 
his  way  up  the  country  to  consecrate  a  church,  and  had  so 
arranged  his  appointment  as  to  be  present  and  officiate  on 
the  occasion. 

While  the  preliminaries  were  being  adjusted  by  the 
bridesmaids  and  groomsmen,  the  Colonel  had  the  pigs, 
the  fatted  calf,  and  an  immense  amount  of  poultry  killed 
for  dinner.  He  knocked  in  the  head  of  a  cider-barrel, 
and  had  demijohns  of  wine  and  brandy  placed  under  the 
table. 

Poor  Nap  was  in  a  terrible  state  of  excitement  when, 
ever  separated  for  a  single  moment  from  Polly.  He  tore 
off  the  thumbs  of  both  his  gloves  in  the  attempt  to  pull  them 
on;  and   one   side  of  his  shirt-collar  wouldn't  stay  up. 

33 


38G  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

He  ran  down  to  see  if  all  was  right  about  the  thorn-bush, 
and  when  passing  some  cows,  he  had  the  misfortune  to 
spoil  the  lustre  of  one  of  his  boots. 

But  when  in  the  presence  of  Polly,  he  was  calm.  She 
was  perfectly  deliberate,  and  when  near  her,  he  partook  of 
her  composure. 

At  length  the  Bishop  put  on  his  robes  and  headed  the 
procession.  Nap  followed,  holding  Polly's  hand  in  his. 
On  his  right  were  Jack  Handy,  "Joe"  T.,  Jno.  P.,  Mar- 
shall J.,  Captain  Jewett,  and  Sam  C.  Polly  was  attended 
by  Sally  Weighton,  Kate  Handy,  and  several  other  young 
ladies,  married  and  single,  of  her  acquaintance.  A  crowd 
of  about  two  hundred  men,  women,  and  children,  black 
and  white,  followed  behind.  Even  the  dogs,  which  had 
accompanied  their  masters,  joined  the  procession.  The 
sheep  baaed,  the  pigs  squealed,  the  geese  gabbled,  and  the 
cows  lowed.  Agrippa  had  been  ordered  by  Polly  to  fasten 
up  the  dun  bull  in  the  barn,  for  fear  of  accident,  and  the 
negro  had  the  good  sense  to  put  the  muscovy  ducks  in  a 
pen  unbidden.  But  the  old  black  turkey-cock  strutted 
about  with  his  red  snout  hanging  down,  and  gobbled 
incessantly. 

It  was  soon  over.  But  it  was  an  impressive  scene. 
Tears  fell  from  the  eyes  of  several.  None  doubted  that 
Polly,  wild  as  she  had  been,  would  make  Nap  a  good  wife ; 
and  he  inwardly  resolved  to  perform  his  duty  as  a  husband. 
The  Biskop  pronounced  the  blessing,  and  then  fled  from 
the  festive  scene  that  was  to  follow. 

It  did  follow.  Eating,  drinking,  laughing,  joking,  toast- 
ing, and  speech-making ;  but  no  quarrelling  and  fighting. 
All  was  hilarity  and  enjoyment.  But  some  fell  into  the 
same  condition  which  had  prostrated  the  good-hearted 
Jim — and  s'ome  had  to  be  sent  to  the  river  in  a  wagon,  or 
they  might  have  lost  their  passage  on  the  boat. 

Then  followed  the  leave-taking.  Kate  was  to  accompany 
Jack  as  far  as  Kentucky ;  and  Captain  Jewett  tendered 
the  "bridal-chamber"  to  Polly,  who  not  only  consented  to 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  387 

go  along  with  them,  but  expressed  a  purpose  to  accompany 
Nap  all  the  way  to  the  Eastern  cities.  She  had  no  friends 
or  relations  in  Kentucky  that  she  had  ever  seen,  and  she 
intimated  that  it  would  not  seem  altogether  right  to  be 
separated  from  her  husband  so  soon  after  their  marriage. 

Finally,  the  bride,  after  bidding  adieu  to  her  parents, 
sprang  up  in  the  buggy  beside  Nap,  and  departed  from 
her  home.  She  did  not  take  the  reins  at  once,  as  she  was 
often  requested  to  do,  by  the  equestrians  aC  her  side.  Nap 
was  an  awkward  driver,  and  she  was  known  to  be  expert 
at  it.  But  she  forbore ;  and  only  grasped  Nap's  hand 
occasionally,  when  he  seemed  to  be  guiding  the  horse 
badly. 

The  cavalcade  was  a  noisy  one,  but  merry.  Horsemen 
were  seen  galloping  in  every  direction  over  the  prairie,  and 
often  several  might  be  seen  cantering  back  from  front  to 
rear,  to  ask  a  simple  question,  or  repeat  an  amusing  anec- 
dote to  the  ladies.  As  for  Captain  Jewett,  he  had  disap- 
peared on  Jim's  fleet  charger.  Some  preparations  doubt- , 
less  had  to  be  made  before  the  arrival  of  the  party  on 
board. 

When  the  main  body  of  the  cortege  drew  near  the 
woods,  which  indicated  the  vicinity  of  the  river,  they  were 
startled  by  the  booming  of  a  cannon  on  board  the  steam- 
boat, which  the  Captain  caused  to  be  fired  every  five  mi- 
nutes in  celebration  of  the  nuptials.  And  when  they  rode 
through  the  village,  their  ears  were  saluted  by  deafening 
cheers ;  and  none  huzzaed  more  lustily  than  Mr.  Jameson, 
who  had  been  prevented  from  being  present  at  the  wedding 
by  the  accidental  running  away  of  his  horse,  which,  how- 
ever, now  reappeared  in  the  street,  neither  the  bridle  nor 
*  saddle  being  in  the  least  injured. 

"Rip!  rip!  Let  her  rip,  Nap!"  cried  Jim,  somewhat 
recovered,  but  with  a  very  red  face. 

"  Good-bye,  Jim,"  said  Nap.  "  But  don't  forget  to  put 
my  memorandum-book  in  the  trunk  before  you  send  it 
down  to  the  boat." 


888  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

"That's  right,  Nap,"  said  Polly.  ^' Don't  forget  your 
business  on  my  account.  I  intended  to  ask  you  if  any 
thing  was  forgotten." 

The  cannon  still  boomed  as  they  approached  the  boat ; 
and  when  they  stepped  on  board,  they  were  welcomed  by 
repeated  cheers.  Soon  after  the  boat  was  under  way,  and 
the  sun  was  sinking  low  in  the  West.  But,  by  special 
request,  we  must  drop  the  curtain  here,  and  skip  over  what 
followed  until  the  arrival  of  the  steamer  at  St.  Louis. 

Arrived  at  St.  Louis,  Captain  Jewett  furnished  the 
papers  with  memoranda  of  his  voyage,  which  were  pub- 
lished the  next  morning,  together  with  a  particular  notice 
of  Nap's  wedding,  and  an  acknowledgment  of  the  recep- 
tion of  bridal  cake.  This  startled  both  Nap  and  Polly, 
when  they  perused  the  Republican  at  their  hotel,  the  Vir- 
ginia House.  They  had  brought  no  cake  along  with  them. 
All  that  had  not  been  consumed  by  the  wedding  guests, 
was  to  be  sent  to  Dr.  Blue,  at  Brunswick,  and  to  the  edi- 
tors at  Boonville,  Fayette,  Columbia,  Trenton,  Lexington, 
and  to  St.  Joseph.  But  Ellen,  the  chambermaid,  fur- 
nished a  sjolution  of  the  mystery.  The  Captain,  it  ap- 
peared, who  always  kept  on. board  the  best  pastry-cook 
that  money  could  command,  had  ordered  the  cake  to  be 
made  during  the  voyage  down,  and  which  he  had  politely 
sent  to  the  editors  with  the  compliments  of  the  newly 
married  couple. 

Nap  had  some  beeswax,  flaxseed,  and  mink-skins  on 
board,  which  were  sold  by  the  Messrs.  D.  T.  &  Co.  for 
him,  while  he  remained  in  the  city,  and  which  brought  an 
unexpectedly  high  price.  The  funds  were  exchanged  for 
a  sight  draft  on  Messrs.  S.  P.  &  Co.,  of  Philadelphia,  and 
drawn  by  the  Messrs.  J.  J.  A.  &  Co.  Jack  Handy  pro- 
cured a  check  on  one  of  the  Eastern  banks,  signed  by 
Mr.  Wm.  M.  M.  &  Co.,  in  exchange  for  his  funds. 

At  the  dinner-table.  Nap  met  with  Miss  D.,  and  had 
the  happiness  to  be  felicitated  by  her  on  his  recent  mar- 
riage.    Polly  was  introduced  to  her.    Kate  had  made  her 


OF   A   COUNTRY  MERCHANT.  389 

acquaintance  during  tlie  passage  from  Kentucky.  And 
our  party  were  complimented  with  orders  for  admission  to 
the  theatre  that  night.  It  was  Miss  D.'s  benefit,  being  the 
termination  of  a  brilliant  engagement.  They  attended,  of 
course,  and  were  highly  delighted. 

The  next  day  they  embarked  for  Kentucky,  and  had 
the  pleasure  of  again  meeting  with  Miss  D.  She  was 
going  to  perform,  star  engagements  at  Louisville  and 
Cincinnati. 

After  a  prosperous  voyage,  during  which  there  was  much 
social  enjoyment,  our  party  landed  at  the  usual  place, 
and  proceeded  by  land  toward  the  village  of  C.  When 
they  drew  up  at  Bullock's  tavern,  where  they  had  arranged 
to  spend  the  night,  they  were  met  by  the  smiling  landlord, 
who  welcomed  them  heartily,  and  congratulated  Kate  on 
her  improved  looks.  She  was  in  fine  health,  and  in  a 
robust  condition. 

"But  who  are  youf  he  asked,  taking  the  hand  of  Polly, 
when  the  travellers  were  seated  in  the  parlour.  "  Nap, 
this  ain't  the  darter  of  Brook." 

"No,"  said  Polly,  banteringly,  "she  is  a  spawn  of  the 
<Mad  Missouri,'  which  is  an  < inland  sea.*  I  am  one  of  the 
wild  girls  of  the  far  West.  Where's  your  old  ooman? 
I  shall  play  havoc  with  the  chickens." 

"  The  old  ooman's  down  at  the  bottom  of  the  apple- 
orchard  in  a  pen." 

"In  a  pen,  Mr.  Bullock?  And  with  the  pigs?"  asked 
Kate. 

"No.  In  the  pen  with  pailings  around  it.  She's  dead 
— but  I  have  another  ooman,  that  I  like  better.  She's 
young,  too.  I'm  done  with  old  ones,  and  will  never  have 
another" 

"  Mr.  Bullock,  how  you  talk !  Are  you  not  ashamed 
to  allude  thus  to  Mrs.  B." 

"I'm  not  ashamed,  but  I'm  a  little  afraid  she'll  over- 
hear me.  If  she  war  to,  I'm  durned  if  she  wouldn't  bust 
up  the  earth  and  come  at  me  !     She  was  an  outrageous 

33* 


390  LIFE   AND    ADVENTURES 

scold,  and  I  allers  thought  it  would  be  the  death  of 
her."' 

"And  was  it?"  asked  both  the  young  wives,  while  their 
husbands  listened  with  interest. 

"  It  was  nothing  else  !  I'll  tell  you  how  it  happened. 
We'd  hearn  tell  of  capons  being  worth  two  dollars  apiece 
in  Cincinnati,  while  common  chickens  sold  for  only  three 
dollars  a  dozen.  So  the  old  ooman,  as  she  had  a  mighty 
sight  of  fowls,  concluded  to  have  a  hundred  capons  made 
ready  to  send  to  market  in  the  spring.  The  one  she  employed 
to  make  'em  for  her  didn't  know  his  business,  and  nearly, 
all  the  roosters  died  the  same  night.  When  the  old  ooman 
saw  'em  laying  dead,  she  doubled  up  her  fists  and  turned  red 
in  the  face.  But  before  she  could  get  out  the  orful  words 
she  intended  to  holler,  the  blood  gushed  out  of  her  nose 
and  mouth.  We  carried  her  in,  but  she  was  gone.  So 
take  warning,  young  wives  !  It's  a  dangerous  thing  to  get 
into  a  scolding  passion  !" 

Mr.  Bullock  then  called  in  his  "young  ooman,"  and 
introduced  her  to  the  guests.  She  was  indeed  very  young, 
perhaps  not  more  than  twenty-two  years  of  age,  while  her 
husband  was  upward  of  sixty.  Her  parente  were  Yerj 
poor,  and  her  mother  being  a  great  scold,  like  the  first 
Mrs.  Bullock,  she  had  become  disgusted  with  her  home, 
and  yielded  to  the  solicitations  of  Mr.  B.,  who  at  once 
executed  a  will,  leaving  her  all  his  fortune,  provided  she 
survived  him. 

The  next  day  our  party  arrived  at  C ,  where  they 

were  afi'ectionately  received  by  the  mothers  of  the  young 
men,  and  heartily  welcomed  by  all  the  friends  of  the 
families. 

Molly,  now  Mrs.  Smart,  was  the  first  to  call  on  Polly, 
and  they  became  intimate  at  once.  As  General  Frost 
was  still  abroad,  Kate  took  up  her  residence  with  Mrs. 
Handy,  Jack's  mother. 

The  day  after  their  arrival  at  C,  a  letter  was  received 
by  Nap  from  his  friend  and  monitor  in  Philadelphia,  con- 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  391 

gratulating  him  on  his  marriage,  and  urging  him  to  bring 
Pollj  with  him  to  the  city.  Mr.  R.  had  been  informed  of 
the  good  advice  that  Nap  had  received  from  her,  and 
which,  indeed,  had  saved  him  from  destruction;  and  he 
expressed  a  desire  to  see  her.  He  thought,  moreover,  if 
he  did  not  say  so,  that  she  might  be  of  valuable  service  to 
Nap  in  the  city,  in  preventing  him  from  yielding  to  the 
almost  irresistible  temptations  to  buy  too  many  goods. 

After  spending  a  few  days  in  C,  Nap  and  Polly  and 
Jack  Handy  set  out  for  the  East.  Kate  was  to  remain 
until  a  certain  very  interesting  event  should  occur,  which 
was  looked  for  about  the  time  of  Jack's  return. 

Our  party  reached  the  city  without  accident,  and  put  up 
at  the  same  hotel  where  the  young  men  had  formerly 
sojourned.  They  were  waited  upon  by  all  their  city 
acquaintances,  and  made  many  new  ones.  The  Western 
men,  and  particularly  those  from  Missouri,  who  had  heard 
of  Polly  Hopkins,  which  was  the  case  with  nearly  all  of 
them,  for  her  fame  was  spread  abroad,  visited  the  newly 
married  couple,  and  cheered  them  by  their  many  kind 
attentions.  Mr.  R.  gave  them  a  dinner,  to  which  some 
half  a  dozen  other  Western  gentlemen  and  ladies  were 
invited. 

Nap  was  excessively  happy,  and  at  the  end  of  every  day 
his  operations  were  approved  by  Polly,  being  mostly  in 
conformity  with  her  judgment  previously  expressed.  In- 
asmuch as  the  Jew  competitor  at  Venice  had  retired,  and 
the  rest  of  the  merchants  being  honest  men,  who  intended 
to  pay  their  debts,  and  would  of  course  obtain  fair  profits, 
Nap  was  advised  to  increase  somewhat  the  amount  of  mer- 
chandise he  had  intended  to  purchase  when  leaving  home. 
This  was  partly  induced  by  advices  from  Jim,  who  informed 
him  that  nearly  all  the  planters  were  busily  engaged  in 
improving  their  lots  in  Venice,  and  that  an  increase  of 
trade  might  be  anticipated. 

Nap  not  only  laboured  at  his  business  during  the  day, 
but  he  was  assiduous  in  his  efforts  to  entertain  his  wife 


392  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

every  night.  He  was  ever  in  her  company,  when  not  pur- 
chasing goods.  And  having  obtained  some  knowledge  of 
the  streets  when  in  the  city  the  year  before,  he  could  now 
conduct  his  spouse  to  all  the  places  she  was  desirous  of 
seeing,  without  the  vexation  of  being  occasionally  lost. 
They  visited  all  the  places  of  amusement,  and  appreciated 
the  criticisms  of  each  other  on  the  merits  of  the  various 
performances. 

One  night,  however,  there  was  a  performance  attempted 
which  was  not  in  the  bills.  As  they  were  ascending  the 
steps  of  the  Musical  Fund  Hall,  Nap  and  Polly  felt  them- 
selves slightly  jostled,  and,  a  moment  after.  Nap  grasped 
the  hand  of  a  rogue  in  the  pocket  of  his  overcoat;  Nap, 
as  we  have  already  intimated,  had  a  muscular  arm,  and, 
like  Sir  Walter  Scott,  a  tremendous  hand.  So  he  held  the 
trembling  gentleman  fast,  and  led  him  toward  the  gas-light. 

<' Who's  that.  Nap?"  asked  Polly. 

<'A  pickpocket!     I'll  give  him  to  the  policeman." 

<'  For  heaven's  sake  let  me  go  !  Have  mercy  on  me  !" 
said  the  captive,  submissively. 

"Oh  ho!"  cried  Nap,  recognising  his  old  acquaintance 
De  Coy. 

"  Is  it  possible !  Why,  Nap,  how  do  you  do  ?"  responded 
the  impudent  fellow,  making  a  pretence  of  having  been 
playing  off  a  practical  joke.  And  his  presence  of  mind 
was  his  salvation  ;  for  just  at  that  moment.  Captain  Key- 
ser,  the  police  marshal,  who  had  witnessed  the  transac- 
tion, and  had  kept  his  eagle  eye  on  the  offender,  was  on 
the  eve  of  arresting  him.  He  desisted,  in  doubt  whether 
the  action  he  had  witnessed  had  been  a  bona  fide  attempt 
to  commit  a  robbery. 

«<  How  long  have  you  been  engaged  in  this  business,  De 
Coy?"  asked  Nap. 

<'Not  long.  I  was  driven  to  it.  I  could  not  blow  my 
own  brains  out,  and  no  one  else  would  do  it  for  me,  after 
they  discharged  me  at  the  fashionable  hell.  But,  upon  my 
honour,  I  did  not  recognise  you ;  else  I  would  not  have  made 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  393 

the  attempt  on  your  pocket.  I  merely  saw  your  pocket- 
book." 

(•<■  My  pocket-book  ?  It  was  my  memorandum-book,  con- 
taining nothing  but  a  list  of  articles  to  be  purchased  for 
my  store  in  Venice.  But  still  I  would  not  have  lost  it  for 
fifty  dollars." 

"  We  get  a  great  many  of  them  from  the  country  mer- 
chants," whispered  De  Coy;  "and  they  generally  offer 
from  ten  to  twenty  dollars  reward  for  their  recovery.  They 
always  get  them  back  on  such  terms.  Won't  you  lend  me 
ten  dollars  ?" 

"  No  !  You  cheated  me  once  out  of  fifty ;  but  I  will 
give  you  five  dollars.  Go,  now,  and  steal  no  more.  Go 
to  work,  and  make  an  honest  living." 

Saying  this.  Nap  led  Polly  in  to  the  concert.  But  it 
was  all  French  and  Italian  to  them,  and  they  resolved  to 
retire  early.  They  did  so,  and  were  stared  at  imperti- 
nently through  many  glasses. 

It  was  well  they  did  retire.  For  they  had  hardly  reached 
the  pavement  before  Polly  was  taken  suddenly  ill.  Nap 
was  in  a  great  perturbation.  He  did  not  know  what  to 
do.  He  wanted  to  ring  at  the  door  of  the  first  mansion 
they  came  to,  place  Polly  in  it,  and  then  run  for  a  doctor. 
She  would  not  agree  to  it.  Presently  they  came  to  an 
apothecary  shop,  and  he  would  have  conducted  her  in  and 
called  for  a  remedy,  but  she  resisted  this  also.  When  they 
got  to  their  lodgings,  he  made  a  determined  motion  to 
go  for  a  physician ;  but  she  would  not  permit  him  to 
do  so. 

"  Something  must  be  done,  Polly,  or  you  may  die  !" 

"There's  no  danger.  Nap,"  said  she,  very  pale,  but 
smiling. 

"  What  can  be  the  matter  ?  Perhaps  the  oysters  didn't 
agree  with  you?" 

"No,  it  was  nothing  I  ate." 

"  Then  why  not  have  a  doctor  ?" 

"Oh,  I'll  soon  be  better.     I  don't  want  the  doctor  to 


_   I 


394  LIFE   AND   ADVENTURES 

know  what  alls  me.  I  know  what  it  is  very  well.  It  will 
soon  be  over." 

"What  is  it  Polly?     Tell  me !" 

«No." 

She  was  quite  well  again  before  bedtime,  it  having  been 
merely  a  passing  qualm. 

Our  party,  likewise,  visited  New  York,  and  made  some 
purchases  there.  After  they  had  been  several  days  in  the 
great  metropolis,  Nap  was  visited  by  Mr.  Pike,  who  came 
up  to  him  boldly  and  tendered  his  hand,  which  was  taken 
by  Nap.     No  Western  man  ever  refuses  such  a  courtesy. 

"  I  hope  you  are  not  still  offended,  Mr.  Wax,  and  with 
me,"  said  Pike.  ^'Throughout  the  whole  transaction,  on 
the  occasion  of  your  former  visit,  I  was  acting  for  others. 
I  was  in  the  employ  of  Messrs.  B.  &  T.,  and  had  to  obey 
their  instructions.  They  discharged  me,  and  I  had  to  sue 
them  for  my  commission  on  the  large  sale  made  to  you." 

''And  did  you  recover?" 

"  Oh  yes  !  When  the,  underwriters  paid  for  their  goods, 
B.  &  T.  settled  with  me.  It  was  a  great  transaction  for 
them.  But  it  caused  their  ruin,  nevertheless.  They  were 
tempted  to  buy  stocks  with  the  money  so  unexpectedly  ob- 
tained. At  first  the  speculation  was  successful.  But  the 
Wall-street  operators  are  merely  gamblers,  and  after  play- 
ing with  their  victims  a  while,  they  destroyed  them. 
Messrs.  B.  &  T.  failed  hopelessly.  Mr.  B.  is  now  a 
clerk  in  the  custom-house,  and  Mr.  T.  is  a  salesman  like 
myself." 

"And  what  house  are  you  in  now  ?" 

"  In  Messrs. 's,  where  you  have  made  a  bill.     I  kept 

out  of  your  way,  for  fear  you  might  still  dislike  me,  and 
become,  in  consequence,  prejudiced  against  the  house." 

"Not  I.  You  were  not  more  to  blame  than  myself  for 
the  silly  purchases  I  made  on  the  occasion  referred  to.  I 
was  an  inexperienced  fool,  like  a  great  many  other  young 
country  merchants." 

Nap  was  now  fast  becoming  a  sensible  man. 


OF   A   COUNTRY   MERCHANT.  395 


CONCLUSION. 


As  this  volume  has  already  grown  to  the  prescribed 
size,  it  must  be  concluded  before  the  career  of  our  hero  is 
ended.  He  had  many  other  adventures,  which  might  form 
another  book  of  goodly  proportions,  and  which,  no  doubt, 
the  publishers  would  be  able  to  furnish,  if  there  should 
seem  to  be  a  sufficient  demand  for  it. 

It  may  be  stated,  however,  that  Nap  adhered  steadfastly 
to  his  business.  After  his  marriage  he  never  embarked  in 
any  of  the  wild  speculations  which  so  frequently  result  in 
disaster  to  the  country  merchant  and  injury  to  his  credi- 
tors. On  the  contrary,  he  was  content  to  reap  the  gains 
of  his  legitimate  business,  and  became  by  degrees  a  man 
of  wealth,  and  the  happy  head  of  a  numerous  family.  On 
two  occasions,  Polly  presented  him  with  twins. 

Colonel  Hopkins  moved  to  Texas,  and  his  son-in-law 
bought  the  farm.  A  mill  was  built  on  the  fine  stream  near 
the  hawthorn-tree,  (which  was  sacredly  preserved,)  and  a 
small  village  grew  up  around  it,  of  which  Nap  remains  to 
this  day  the  sole  proprietor.  He  has  measurably  retired 
from  business  himself,  but  still  keeps  a  small  store  in  ope- 
ration at  Pollysburg.  His  property  in  Venice  is  leased 
for  $2000  per  annum. 

The  Handys  are  still  selling  goods,  and  making  more 
money  than  they  spend,  as  capable  and  economical  country 
merchants  in  the  West,  who  build  up  a  good  credit  in  the 
East,  may  always  do. 

Mr.  Darling  is  lecturing  on  the  Maine  Liquor  Law  for 
a  dollar  a  day,  having  fallen  into  the  clutches  of  the  poli- 
ticians. 

Jackson  Fames  is  sawing  stone  in  the  penitentiary  at 
Jefferson  City. 


396 

General  Frost  is  still  abroad,  being  disgusted  with  the 
democracy  of  the  present  day,  which  makes  presidents  of 
men  who  have  no  claims  upon  the  people,  and  who  are 
selected  by  an  irresponsible  few,  without  previously  con- 
sulting the  will  of  the  majority.  He  declares  that  the 
system  is  an  absurdity,  and  instead  of  being  in  accord- 
ance with  the  principles  of  democracy,  is  only  following 
the  example  of  the  degenerate  Komans,  who  put  up  the 
purple  to  the  highest  bidder.  But  he  writes  to  Jack 
Handy  that  he  derives  some  comfort  from  the  fact  that 
presidents  thus  made  sometimes  prove  ungrateful,  and  de- 
cline paying  the  price  of  their  elevation  demanded  by  those 
who  exalted  them.  "  It  is  a  good  thing  for  the  conspira- 
tors against  the  liberties  of  the  people,"  says  he,  ''to  have 
sometimes  a  perfidious  master." 

Sam  Marsh,  although  he  stutters  as  much  as  ever,  is 
still  the  main  innkeeper  at  Venice. 

The  reverend  John  Smith,  the  blacksmith,  is  making  a 
fortune  at  his  bellows,  a?  all  the  industrious  Smiths  do  in 
the  new  States. 

Jim  Rue,  poor  fellow,  fell  a  sacrifice  to  his  remedy 
against  the  cholera. 

Mr.  Bullock  has  at  his  inn  several  young  children  and  a 
baby.  His  young  wife,  warned  by  the  fate  of  her  prede- 
cessor, is  as  meek  as  a  lamb,  and  seems  to  be  very  happy. 
Kate  and  Polly  often  think  of  the  fate  of  the  ''  old  ooman," 
and  check  themselves  when  inclined  to  be  angry.  If  other 
married  ladies  would  do  likewise,  this  book  would  be  in- 
valuable to  the  present  and  future  generations.  So  mote 
it  be. 


THE  END. 


^ 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 
BERKELEY 

Return  to  desk  from  which  borrowed. 
This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below. 


A 


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U.  C.  BERKELEY 


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